Flu Kitteh is in your haus

drinkin your sodas
purrhaps kitteh drinks 2 maek da pain go away.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: NekoNeko
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drinkin your sodas
purrhaps kitteh drinks 2 maek da pain go away.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: NekoNeko
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Kitteh flu in mah house? How?
on lil kitteh wingz?
congratz!
…ore mebbee flu powda netwerk.
has you a rekwest fur songn danz, FFL? icy dat maus tied wif you.
Well, untie Maus rite away!
.
I has to go way for a while but only disease song and dance I can thinks of is teh Ring Around teh Rosie, which is supposably about teh Plague.
.
Somewun else can do moar better suggestions, I is sure.
duz you no da toon fur dat?
Yes.
Hao bout teh “Rockin Noomonier an teh Boogey-woogey Flu”?
Oooh, good won!
heehee- nawt musikal but iz funnee:
man “dying” ob cold
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EElqrgk4N0
Oh, I knoes! I can makes a Coca-Colol cake! I has teh resippy but hasn’t maded this caek in long time. Is vry rich: u puts in soda *and* marshmallers.
.
Just don’t let teh kitteh koff onnit.
iz gud:
- wan instent cayk box
- wan can sodee-pawp
mix an mycrowav tehn minitz ur so…
(iz unnaturral an tastee)
marshmallers saundz gud, 2.
.
but don teh kitteh wan chikun soop?
wif rill chikns pls!!
Plz to not forget to take teh soda OUTTA teh can first. Otherwise, when u puts it in teh microwave, u gets ex-plos-i-on.
.
BOOM!
Arrrrgh… Hangover…
*whimper*
*unties Maus as per rekwest ob LCB*
dat bettah?
Fanks. But nao teh werks has me tied up…
*sigh*
sowy- has fun @ twerk.
Mai brayn hertz…
Well let’s take a look at it, Mr. Gumby…
noes, teh wun in hims hed.
ebbrywun: dis iz wai No Plase in Particular haz tew dwink limut. ai dunt liek kittehs dragging in wif a jigantik hedaekz! nd hoo noes wut esle dere going throo!
it will has to come out…
Out?! Of my head?!
yes, all teh bitz ob it.
Gloves… glasses… moustache… handkerchief…
I’m going to operate!!
dnot fergitz teh anestheesha.
I’ve come to anaesthetize you!!
*BONK*
Fanks frum awl ov us, Mais Oui! Dat wuz teh funs!
yer wekcom. duz you has dat rememberized?
*confesses* i hads to lukitup.
Mostly mememberizded. I can has all ov teh scrips on mai puter fer helpin the memree, tho…
Lemme know if yoo wants tehm: I’ll gives yoo teh linky…
shure, fanks!
Go to orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches.html. If yoo scrolls to teh bottum ov teh page, yoo can browzez or downloads tehm. Teh rest ov the site is cool too: orangecow.org/pythonet/pythonet.html
*snerk*
bak in haiskool Ai watcht dis a fyoo 2 menny tymez wif sum frenz…we stil yel “ANAESTHE-TIIIIIIIIIIIC!” wen sumfin iz reel stoopid or confyoozin…good tymez, good tymes! O yeah, en “NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRSE!” hahahahahaha
Yiss (inna firm peepel-vet voyce). Yu iz leeking brayn-jus. Doktor mus be plugging de leek up. An yu kneeds two top-up yer flewids. Wut yu lik two drinkies? No alkools, id dihai… deswat…. id drys yu out! Sari. lsadl
Poor kitteh, should be put in teh beds wif some chikken nuggets soop.
yesh – inna mi haus rite naow teh misser bigin he-man kitteh is inna beds wif da flu n iz sucha babee so I tink he n teh fluffly poor sickie kitteh be goods cumpeny fur each uder. I brings dem fluids n snackies n lots of blankies n…..*fluffes pilloohs…phew – I tired too!*
Dis poar kitteh needs sum ov teh kleez… teh kxlez.. teh tissuz, soem hawt tee, lolcatburglar chikken nuggets soop,n lotz of snorgglez and a shawt (nawt teh tekeelah kind!). Ai wanz to snorggle dis poar sik kitteh.
I can shaer jerms wif u?
jerms r frum jermany!
Kitteh haz turribel case ov “bed face”…
ooh. kitteh has an eye infection. needs to be taken to the vet.
Prolly jest “smush-face-kitteh-eyes” (yes, dats the technickal term). Needs ta be cleened.
Does u send teh kitteh’s eyse out to be cleened or does someone come in and does that?
U culd find ur local perfesshunal vet teck..
altho,
I has da day orf
U beet me to dat coment.
Poor kitteh.
De rite vet CAN help dis bb!!!
Well, since we doesn’t know *when* this pic was tooked or even who belongs to teh kitteh, it could be that kitteh’s eyes has alreddy been took care of.
.
It could even be that this pic was taken after they getted home from teh vet, and they stopped at teh 7-Elebenty on teh way home and kitteh gotted a soda as a treet for bein’ good kitteh at teh vet.
Or, meybe teh kitteh wuz watchin Will Feral’s last moovie and haz nawt had a chance to wash awai teh tears uv payne…
I’m sure teh care trolls will be along in short order to warn of the danjers involved in lettin’ ur kitteh watch a Will Feral movie!
yesh, those kittehs get a lesser known condishun called Will Feral Eyeses. It’s purty nasty, altho not to be confuzzled with the more serious, yet uncommon Betty Davis Eyeses. Ooooo, dats a bad one.
iz that teh one where they getz an uncontrollible urge to wear showlder pads?
No, dats Joan Crawferd eyezez
Just bekuz *sumbuddy* haz to doo it – heerz teh linky to teh Kim Carnes sawng – Bette Davis Eyes – on YouTube. Luv those beeg sunglasses!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-RdAzkKlXY
An this wun duzzint haz that 80s pinache, but it duz haz sum niec moovie klips:
Fassen yor seetbelts; its gunna be a bumpy nite!
ai wish ai’d had taht warning!!
(eksept for teh remaek of Teh Prodoocers. I lieked him there.)
Adn jus consider teh danjrz ub teh kittehs lettin tehr peepz watch teh Will Feral moobies.
Dis spoze2B reply 2 LCB furver up. Stoopie weirdpress, and stoopie pooter fur BN sew SSSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW.
oh nao weirdpress fever, that’s a hole nother dis ease!
rest and drink plentie of flooids, and trai to find a kyoot kitteh to pet. that shud halp.
i wuz havin da same twubble…I gots teh firefox nao.
Me tyew, just bowt nowr ago. semes tu bee werk bettur so fur. but
ai gets heer laturz dan yuz so ai kin ownlee redez an lol but nawt
anserz at saim tmei yu tokz wif eech nuthur.
No kitteh, I doan want mah pop back, u keeps it, k?
no, i’m serious. look at the crust around the eyelids. that’s a surefire sign of an infection. kitteh needs to be treated quickly.
oops. wrong spot.
sry.
dunt wurry, morelaak! it happenz tew ebbrywun!
Okz, heers the soapbox…smoosh face kittehs’ eyez git buildup of discharge cuz dere face is so smooshed da teer ducks doan werk properleh. Consekwently, dey luk like dey have infections when reely its discharge that eventuelly stainz da face from dere eye not werking correcktally. Dere hyooman shuld be helpin dem owt by cleening dere eyeses. BUT, iz not goanna argu wit u, seeing as dis is a happy jokey playce and I likes to have the hyoomer. So ifn u ken find dis partickular smoosh face kitteh’s hyooman, tells them to take him/her to the vets.
*end soapbox
Now MY soapbox turn pleez:
Bad ‘breeder’ dont know wat de hecks der doin!
Do not breed kittehs wid teer duct eye problems ppl!!!
Dis problem culd be prevented.
and a GOOD vet CAN do sumting to help dis BB.
Find anudder vet 4 peets sakes PLEEZS!
End ‘my soapbx’
Not to rant oar anyffing, but we gots 1 kitteh frum a breeder – nawt a smushie-face – an dat’s gonna b awl. Awls teh odders we gots nao, an anny fyootur wunz, will b reskewz oar frum shelturz. 2 many grates kittehs don gots hoamz.
yiss! an saim fur deh hyumin bebez. Neece getz 2 nais, gud bebez frum
Chiana lan. yay! Lotz gurlz , but got wun boy tu. hab “hare lip” but fix
gud alredy.
I know what you mean … if you go to BIG cat shows, you sooooo many overbred kittehs, and if you have had any with pedigrees, they often do have more health problems.
I too am big on rescoos.
I got some non-pedigree breed-type kittehs from “free-range breeders,” though, and they are no picnic either.
Apropos to “kitteh flew”, this morning mah little Liam was at teh back door, watching berds nom some nums I left 4 them on teh terrace. This be teh first time I leaved out food 4 them on purpose since Liam got here, so he hasn’t seed berds so close up befoar. He kept goin from teh glass dore to me and back again, meowin in wonder. It seemed like he was sayin “O Mommeh, did u see? There is kittehs out there that can fly!”
awwwww ai miss teh liddel ones. mai mamakitty (who is almost 18) has no backyard to speak of innymore since we downsized to teh townhouse. seh got sew eggsited teh odder dai wen ter was a crow on teh neighbors roof. oooh, sum wildlaif!! ai mus get a birdfeeder to keeps teh old girl entertained!!
Butt doan let yer bebes out oar dey might be getting de BIRD FLU!!
Ai mus get a birdfeeder to keeps teh old girl entertained makes mii giglol. Iz wut ai sed about mai mama N her las yeerz. She spent mini happii ourz watchin dem owt teh winnerz ub her assississted libbin playse. Nayber huud kittehz lernd tath tehr wuz usuly brdz tehr, sew she wud get teh madz adn blast tehm wif her Souper Soaker woter gun. Diddin hertz tehm, but sumtimez ai hadz to laf at ole lady wif souper soaker.
Jamamakitty,
furs tym I red tihs, I thot it sed tehre was a COW on teh naybor’s ruf.
I hoep yoo got sum strong rufs in yor nayborhud!
Not to menshun agile cows!
.
O, darn. I menshuned teh agile cows.
I call mah 16 year old kitteh mama kitty! Corse, she haz been ‘mama kitty’ even sins she had kittenz. B4 dat we just called her kitteh.
r u sure he wuznt sayin, oh pleeeeez mommeh, let me owt so ai can get u a nice prezzent?
Teh way he leeves his toy mouses in mah bed, yeah, prolly.
.
But Pleh! DO NOT WANT!
Aw, LCB, whutta sweet storeh! Haz he lerned to mayk teh eggsited teef-chatter sownds yet when he seez them? Kittehs hoo can fly – I luvs it!
I hasn’t seen/heered him do teh chatter yet. One thing I have noticed just in teh past few days that I’m pretty sure he didn’t do befoar is that whole-body-lean-on-hymoon when walking by, as if to say “o hai”.
.
He’s somewhere around 7 or 8 months old and has been here just short of 6 weeks. For most of that time he had only 2 modes: cuddly sleepy kitteh and total berserker. In the past several days I’ve noticed that he’s getting some middle ground, e.g. the casual walk-by lean, letting me pick him up for a hug when I want one instead of just climbing onto me when he wanted to snuggle, otherwise wriggling like caffeinated quicksilver when he did not want hugz, kthx. He also now sometimes sits quietly and politely near his kitteh fren, who is 16, instead of pouncing on her. She in turn is learning that she doesn’t have to automatically hiss at him and swat him and tell him to get off her lawn.
.
*sniff* They groes up so fast!
caffeinated kwiksilvur – dats gooood!
Neggst he’ll be wunting himz own kredit kard!
An after that, it’ll be borryin teh kar an skurryin awf to teh kollidge!
Lief goze by so fast!
Well, consider whose kitteh he is. He’ll be wanted UR credit card. And ur ristwatch, 2.
Heh heh heh – uh, rite.
*luks down at arm to check if watch is still on; cheks purs fur credit kard; cums up emptee pawed*
A chip off teh ol’ LCB, yoo got it! Hez awlreddee pilferin things!
*snif*
Aw, he’s just liek himz MAMA! Aynt it teh kyoot!
Uhgg….leave meh ‘lone…
not goin wrk tuday
Ay H8 badd spellrz. Itz “yer” an “howse” an sodaz ay meen jeez poor sic kitteh wif badd spellr loler.
Joosy sneez comin! Luk owt! Arrgh!!
(Editorial PS: I is alwaes sorree for teh peke-fase purshiuns an dis shows why. Too much breedin makes for unhappee fases!!)
(Not meenin to be trollashus. Just sayin.)
an hey, how bout them purebred BURMEES??? Yow. Wut hapun to dere nosies?
Knotings. Dere nosies er NOT smushied. Infax dey mus hab a distink nose break, an tip ob nose an chin must bees strait lineup. Burmeeses bees bootifull, an berey noisy.
Dis comment bringed to yu by de TICA Purebred Defense League.
hee @ teh werd “trollashus”.
Plz to be adding to lolspeak dictshun-airy.
Also teh werd herblz.
Kthxbai.
Teh lemonaydz mayk flucat fel soooo mush betta.
Nao jus ned milk an cooky an tedibea an worm bed an TV an bel to cal hyoomin slaiv.
Poor ketteh has de BIRD FLU.
How embearassing!!
*hugz kitteh* I hoep it not sik. If it iz, I hoep it gets bettah qwikly.
I shure he/she iz bettah now, tho. I haz kitteh snuggled in my lap as I type dis, and I hoep sum1 maeks dis kitteh bettah if it iz sik and snugglz it, too.
Oh. pleez cleen my eyez. De veery derty.
When life gives you lemons… make lemonade… then hoark up a hairball into it.
Noes…when life gives you lemons, find some whose life gave them vodka, den haves a party!!
lolnascar – I lieks teh way yoo thinks!
Or whiskey – we lieks teh linchburg lemunayds too!
I hadda littul burd and his name was Enza -
I opend up teh door and IN FLU ENZA.
*hed-desk*
Dis wuz jumpin-roap rime doorin 1918-19 flu eppydemmik. Kidz’ll maek fun ob ennyfing!
We’s be givin kitteh awl teh TLC taht her rekwirez to recubber adn rekooperayte;
we wil nawt hawld ennyfing bak, ore lymyt enny medycale caire.
We has KITTEH HMO, KITTEH PPO, adb KITTEH HBO ( waiyte, nawt taht wun!)
Howebber, we wil nawt shares her strawr wif her.
Ebbrytyme Ai luuks at dis kitteh, Ai haz suches a grate SAD.
Ai ken jes siddoawn adn does a rlly laowd BOO-HOO-HOO.
Kitteh seames to feal soe terribull, dat yoo wunts to gives her sumfing, ennyfing, to maikes her bedder, ebben a truuck fulla catnyp, oar wutebber her wunts.
…comin in heer, infectin mai familee
awright flu kitteh…
…that’s teh last straw
Kitteh getin plenny ov floo-ids
Like Dokter ordird
How about a nice bass malt?
u use da Bass-o-matic fer dat?
GMTA!
Great Malts Taste Alike….
taht’s gud bass!
Bass for whut
ailsales ya.Frum teh sooper bass-o-matic?
lolz
Pur kitteh, feelin teh badz. Cum on ober hear adn ai will tuk u N2 bedz wif teh floofeh blankeh, adn bring U sum chikenz suupses adn mor soda drinx. Den u kin habz a nap wile ai runz to stors fur tishuuz adn magzeenz adn mAB sum sporz drinkz. U B awl well suun adn reddii fur snorguls adn shmooz.
Um, eubie – is yoo avaylabul fur hows calls? Jus chekkin . . .
We’ll luk to see yoo runnin teh CCC wun uv these daze! Yoo seems to haz teh instinks fur it.
OMG! Kitteh haz red eyeses lyke Voldemort! (Maybee iz just me, but maybee kitteh is DARK LORD!)
OMG! Kitteh haz red eyeses lyke Lord Voldemort! Maybee iz just me, but maybee kitteh is DARK LORD!
(Hmph. Ob’visly kitteh is kontayjus, becuz my compyooter haz sneezies, I thinks.)
Hee hee, cute.
Flooffee Kitteh feelz
t3h “Pleh!”. Juss wantz sum Snuggillz
2 beez awllz bettah
Flooffee Kitteh needz
herz Teddee Bayrr andz cummffee
Pillo 2 habz Nap
Flooffee Kitteh due
4 Chekkz~Up… Do Nawt Wantz!, butz
Kitteh feels bettah
Jack.
Oh, dat why I sik still. I beed sik for 6 weeks nao. It cuz flu kitteh still here. DO NOT WANT!!!
I tinks flu kittehs are om(nomnom)ipotent – wes alls has flews here too *sadface* I can has chiken soopz?
I hope that cat is OK! It looks terrible!
Congratz! I wanted you to win SOOOOOO bad!!! ^_^
Ohh my god ! This cat it`s healthy ?
I honestly think this is the best lolcat on this whole site. I keep coming back to it. the cat’s not unhealthy it’s just got this eye infection, a lot of cats get it, it’s cured easily and not harmful.
This one is just gold i can’t get over it.
furkittah, need more Caffienezzz
thats better not be teh swine flus.