Angry BBQ
hates winter
kitteh needz 2 share da warmf.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: PattyFab
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Wintur burnz me up!!!
Yay, Skimmie! U B fur vest frum lastest!! Wut kind uv sellabratory drinksies u wanting?
Concat Skimmie,
Would lyke sum hot beveridgs coffeh, tea, choclits?
Tank u cweenmj!! I is in shawk at my fursst nawt secunds…only just woke upz, went frum bed 2 pooter and chekked da burgurs. I reelly needs caawfee right now, but can we sellbarate with white russians?!!!
I lubs deh white ruushenz!! I’ll mix up a big batch.
U got a berry funne nawt seccond!!
**Opunz cubberds. getz deh kaluah.
**Opunz fridge, getz deh milk.
**mixxee mixxee.
heer ya go.
**Hands skimmie de white Ruushan
.
Cheerz!!
AAahaahhhhhhhh!!! Most xsellent! I will wake up fur sure now. Tank you cweenmj and im giving one 2 twokittehs 2! an hey, can i has leftovre kalluah to pour on sum chocolate ice creamz? I needs brekfust too!
Soundz gud to me. Der b plentee 4 eberyone! I gotted it awl frum
the neberending stock at teh ty booteek!
fanks Skimmie and cweenmj
Fanks frum me 2! I can has Kaluah in just da coffee pleeze? About a quart in equal parts ob each be about rite for startin da Moanday! *Moan*
**pourz big glug into deh koffee kup.
Heer ya go, Lucy.
Hab a nice dayz!
Fanx. I needed dat.
O hai, Skimmie. An Yay fur yoo! Kalua awn chowklit Ice cream sounds yum!!! REELEE Yum!! So – whilzt ai am eeting sum ov this ice cream – ai browt yoo a pome. It just seems like so . . .US!!!
.
But it prettee long. sorry to take up so much spayce. But ai am hoeping yoo an ebreebuddee else will liek it.
.
AUGURIES OF INNOCENCE
by William Blake
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
A Robin Red breast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
A dove house fill’d with doves & Pigeons
Shudders Hell thro’ all its regions.
A dog starv’d at his Master’s Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State.
A Horse misus’d upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fibre from the Brain does tear.
A Skylark wounded in the wing,
A Cherubim does cease to sing.
The Game Cock clipp’d and arm’d for fight
Does the Rising Sun affright.
Every Wolf’s & Lion’s howl
Raises from Hell a Human Soul.
The wild deer, wand’ring here & there,
Keeps the Human Soul from Care.
The Lamb misus’d breeds public strife
And yet forgives the Butcher’s Knife.
The Bat that flits at close of Eve
Has left the Brain that won’t believe.
The Owl that calls upon the Night
Speaks the Unbeliever’s fright.
He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belov’d by Men.
He who the Ox to wrath has mov’d
Shall never be by Woman lov’d.
The wanton Boy that kills the Fly
Shall feel the Spider’s enmity.
He who torments the Chafer’s sprite
Weaves a Bower in endless Night.
The Catterpillar on the Leaf
Repeats to thee thy Mother’s grief.
Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly,
For the Last Judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar.
The Beggar’s Dog & Widow’s Cat,
Feed them & thou wilt grow fat.
The Gnat that sings his Summer’s song
Poison gets from Slander’s tongue.
The poison of the Snake & Newt
Is the sweat of Envy’s Foot.
The poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist’s Jealousy.
The Prince’s Robes & Beggars’ Rags
Are Toadstools on the Miser’s Bags.
A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for Joy & Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro’ the World we safely go.
Joy & Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the Soul divine;
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The Babe is more than swadling Bands;
Throughout all these Human Lands
Tools were made, & born were hands,
Every Farmer Understands.
Every Tear from Every Eye
Becomes a Babe in Eternity.
This is caught by Females bright
And return’d to its own delight.
The Bleat, the Bark, Bellow & Roar
Are Waves that Beat on Heaven’s Shore.
The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath
Writes Revenge in realms of death.
The Beggar’s Rags, fluttering in Air,
Does to Rags the Heavens tear.
The Soldier arm’d with Sword & Gun,
Palsied strikes the Summer’s Sun.
The poor Man’s Farthing is worth more
Than all the Gold on Afric’s Shore.
One Mite wrung from the Labrer’s hands
Shall buy & sell the Miser’s lands:
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole Nation sell & buy.
He who mocks the Infant’s Faith
Shall be mock’d in Age & Death.
He who shall teach the Child to Doubt
The rotting Grave shall ne’er get out.
He who respects the Infant’s faith
Triumph’s over Hell & Death.
The Child’s Toys & the Old Man’s Reasons
Are the Fruits of the Two seasons.
The Questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to Reply.
He who replies to words of Doubt
Doth put the Light of Knowledge out.
The Strongest Poison ever known
Came from Caesar’s Laurel Crown.
Nought can deform the Human Race
Like the Armour’s iron brace.
When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow
To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow.
A Riddle or the Cricket’s Cry
Is to Doubt a fit Reply.
The Emmet’s Inch & Eagle’s Mile
Make Lame Philosophy to smile.
He who Doubts from what he sees
Will ne’er believe, do what you Please.
If the Sun & Moon should doubt
They’d immediately Go out.
To be in a Passion you Good may do,
But no Good if a Passion is in you.
The Whore & Gambler, by the State
Licenc’d, build that Nation’s Fate.
The Harlot’s cry from Street to Street
Shall weave Old England’s winding Sheet.
The Winner’s Shout, the Loser’s Curse,
Dance before dead England’s Hearse.
Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born.
Every Morn & every Night
Some are Born to sweet Delight.
Some ar Born to sweet Delight,
Some are born to Endless Night.
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro’ the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to Perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light.
God Appears & God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in the Night,
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day.
S’ok, Janet. Willem Blake iz gud poet.
I likes it.
Fanks fur da pome, janet! i luvz pomes an also wilyum blake. i knew da beginnin of dis wun but not da whole ting. plus u blushing made me laffs!
Count me in 2! I lubs Blake. He sees into da bery hart of tings and tells himz readers what he sees. Readin da Blake be makin da readers smarter. Onlee problem is I r gonna need to finish my Kaluah an koffee before I are ready for Blake. It a little eaerly for me to tink dis hard. Tank you for sendin it to us dou. I readz it karfullly when I wakes up. (Could be not till Twosday)
I’z wif MJ & Skimmie – it’z all gud, JCH4K. It wuz bery gud to reed tihs agin – I had forgettid it.
Fank yoo fer posting it – got mai week orf to a gud start!
Janet!
Mah dad used to say gleep! Wutt is dat frum!
Teh opposite wuz gloom. Is dat frum a tv show or sumthin?
Gud morning, kafleen!!!
ai am sorree to tell yoo ai haz NO idea. It’s just teh sound ai heer in mai hed when maeking teh startled an surprized googlee aies. First cum the beeg aies – followed bai a *gulp* an tehn a *gleep* – wich iz – a liddle gulp, ai think, combined wif a catching ov teh breth!! Maeks teh liddle skweekee sound in teh bak ov yur throat.
Gud enuf splanashun???
Hay, J4k, didja see I answered ur kwestin bout teho’s watch over in whatever pic that was? kthx
Fank yoo, Janet. Lubs dis pome, but hadnt seened it in a wile.
Happy Day-after-Easter, eberywun!
O hai, Cassidy. An thankz. I sorta knew – but now am moar shur – taht, becuz we heer ar awl soo much alike, then if AI lieks teh poetree, tehn prollee moast ov yoo doo, too.
Well – we haz it ebree day, wif Jack, an KickahaOta, an Tribble, an gibbocat an Princess Mu an . . .menee odders. It iz ai hoo can’t ackshullee doo it. But ai luvz to reed it. Lawng ago, paws 4thot told mee ai just needed a mews. . .but alas, ai feer it iz nawt qwite so eezee az that!!! Oh wells. There ar odder thingz ai can/cud doo prittee well!!
An LOL again!!! Ai “digressed” befoar ai eben got started. Ai wuz GOING to say – in jermanee, todai iz Easter Monday – an is still a holiday.
fanks fur the pome, Janet. In teh passed few daze i merembered a nudder Blake pome i furst lernt az a teenkitteh & is fitting foar Eastr Mundae:
“The Lamb”
Little Lamb who made thee
Dost thou know who made thee
Gave thee life & bid thee feed.
By the stream & o’er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing wooly bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice!
Little Lamb who made thee
Dost thou know who made thee
Little Lamb I’ll tell thee,
Little Lamb I’ll tell thee!
He is called by thy name,
For he calls himself a Lamb:
He is meek & he is mild,
He became a little child:
I a child & thou a lamb,
We are called by his name.
Little Lamb God bless thee.
Little Lamb God bless thee.
He needz one more cuplet:
Da grill left in da snow to pout
Duz put da Soul’s cheezburgur fire out!
LOLZZ!!! an a couplet ov snikers as well!!
I hope Daphne sees dis.
Sumtimes I tink she tinks wee are callussed, an I doan noe why.
{{{{Daphne}}}}
I can adds KAFLEEN’S favorite?
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee./i
No mayonnaise in Ireland? Then what do they put on their sandwiches?
boooooooooo
Hey, excuse you. My family is originally from ireland. I don’t appreciate your racist comment.
I Think you should think twice about what you put onto a website. If you are racist, maybe you should go to Ireland. While there you should go buy some mayonaise and wipe it all over your face.
woah, John Donne ref, FTW!!!
wut a cultoored bunch we has!!!
Soitenly!!!
In Soviet Union White Russians drink you!
Dat’s wun angi bbq.
I can haz spring?
yez plz, any darn tym nao.
Um, Yep! Yor wish is mah kommand!
*poof! poyntz majik wand, an springz appeer on two_kittehs pawz*
Ther ya go!
thepetmuseum, yoo too!
*poof! Moar springz!*
Um, lukkowt fur that . . . .
Yo! Check out mah grill!
That is one seriously icy grill. : B
Dude, that’s so cold.
iz sick n’ tired of da’ snow!
Mi 2!
Ai had 2 scrape da snow offa mai car dis mornin b4 ai culd leev 4 wurk.
Iz bad enuf dat ai havta go 2 wurk on Mondai, but scrapin da snow off when da calendur sayz SPRING iz a pain in da hiney.
Me 3! Der only so long dat uz can stand da gray mornin, noon and nite! I NEEDZ da Spring to be startin any time now!
If ur hiney hurtz after u scrape teh snow off ur car, then ur doin it rong.
Ah must admit, I haz nebber seen ennywun remoove teh snow frum teh windsheeld wit teh hiney.
Aym not shur theyr doin it rong – but they mite be doin it a bit backwards!
Then agin, ennything that wurkz . . .
Mah hiney is big enuff that I could cleer snow off teh winders pretty quick but mah problem is lack of hite. Even wif teh long-handle brush, I can’t reech allda way to teh toppa mah car so it usually ends up with a crest of snow on teh rooftop. U know: a snowhawk.
So whut we needz is springz in owr bootz so we kin get teh hiney up wher it belawngs?
I haz pikshors in mah hed uv peepuls springin up an kleerin teh snows wit theyr baksieds. A new oleempik event, purrhapz?
Oh wayt, I didn meen to sujjist that yoo putz on those boots wit springs, LCB. Oh noes! Thar she goez!
Halp! I is stuck on toppa a Mini Cooper!
Oh, LCB – that Mini Cooper is teh tynee!
*reeches paws up, pulls LCB daown*
See, yoo is OK nao! Hey, wayt!
*LCB bounces away on springz*
Um, it luks liek spring haz sprung on ICHC! We haz LCBs hoppin arownd liek rabbitz!
Sumbunny else ketch her! Kwik!
*boing*
.
*boing*
.
*boingetty*
.
*boing*
Remynes mi of da Tigger, on Winnie da Pooh!
Lookout for da LCB!
Whoo hoo hoo hoo!
**watchez in amazingment az lcb bounces hier n hier
**Trowz net to catching lcb but misses.
Yay, luk at teh hyt shez gittin! Go, LCB, go!
*sigh* I feelz so prowd uv owr LCB, way up hi liek that!
*cue myoosik – Bette Midler singin Yoo Ar Teh Wind Beneeth Mah Springz*
Yeah. It’s a gud thing mah mask slipped over mah eyes so I cannot see how hi up I is.
Um, LCB – is yoo skeered at awl? Duz yoo wunna be reskyooed, or is yoo havvin teh fun? I got a net for catchin kritters fur Crismus. Let me go gid it. I will try to catch yoo!
*runs awf to luk fur catchy critter net*
*puff pant*
Aym bak, aym bak! I haz teh net!
*boing boing* Ther she goez! I ketches her on teh next boing!
*throws kritter katchy net arownd LCB*
Whew! LCB, I gotz yoo! Yoo is sayf nao. Plz to be taykin those springz off yor feetz. I goez an sits down nao an ketches my breff.
Neggzt tiem yoo haz snow to remoove, plz to be yusin a reglar ice skrayper. Kthx!
Thx, gremlin. I was gonna say I wasn’t skeered but only because I couln’t see whare I was boinging, but that I diddent has time to has a advencure so it’s good that u catched me.
.
Now the ironical bit: there is no snoes rite now here whare I libs. I was just enjoying teh spring in mah step that u gived me — literally!
Sillee cheezfrenz!
Ai ment dat figgerativly, nawt literully!
Altho, mai hiney do get cold sumtimes…
Ah, rhsb – yoo gayv us a jumpeeng-awf poynt for laffter! Yoo noes that LCB – yoo givs her a jumpeeng-awf poynt fur a funneh commint, an she runz it in fur a tuchdown!
Heer, heer! Went to teh U of Minne-snow-ta azza unnergrad, an mah coat wuz too shawt. Hads teh frozen patoots!
I like lolthings (lolcans, lolbath, lolchair etc..) but prefer cute kittehs much much more, lately we seem to be getting many more lolthings than beforez and I miss not having as many kittehs, what do odder cheez peeps think?
Teh loltings r gud, butt Ai cudda yoosd a cyoot kitteh tihs tym rownd.
Ai agreese…moor kittehz plz, Kthnxbie
i gree wif yu, two_kittehs, teh lolfingz maekz me laff, but i prifferz teh lolkittehz an uvver lolaniminimalz tu teh fingz. An teh fingz iz moar freekwenter deze daze.
Adn deh fingz r moar freekee, 2.
I likes teh kittehz deh bestest.
Ai agrees wif all ov ur comments here. I wuz jus tinkin dat dese tings r too many tings, not enuf kitteh anymoar. It makes me
.
Da cheezfrends are rite as usu.ususuakl.. as most ob da time. Da fings are funny, but der are no Splort factor here. I loves da witty but I needz da Kwoot too. Oderwize I haffa store my CHG. Don’t be needen it for the moaning grills.
Awlso, on Easter Day, sum Cheezfrends bin rekwestyng moar “Puns”.
Probluum is we has a PUN SHORTAGE!!!!! O, NOES! So Ai relaytes dese fackts:
Puns upawn a tyme, we foargott haow to rime
So we wunted moar puns, butt awaye did dey runs
We wuntz dem to stay; puns jes lieks to go ‘way
Synce puns wer soe eloosyve, dey bekame soe xcloosive
Cuz we cudn’t catchem, we deecydid to trappum
Puns reemayned iyn sieclooshun; dey cawzed sutch cunfooshion
Wif auld mowsetrapps nawt wurkin, puns was kwite deeplee lurkin
Iyn darke shadoes hydin, puns wuz nawt cummin iynsyde den,
Weeze iyn sutch a dylemma, adn almoast inna coema
Wun dae owt teh windaow Ai heppyned to be snooopyn
Owt teh bak yawrd den teh puns cums atroupeing
Shaymefaisedlee shuuflyn wif dere hans iyn dere pokket
Rite thru teh bak yawrd gayte: we foargottyn to lockitt
Synce we got bak awl teh punses, naow we can has funses
Wif noe pun shoartidge iyn site, naow we can awl jes deelite!
Eynd ov dis punderous dyscoarse…….
Iyn darke shadoes hidin, puns nawt comin iynsyde den
Hmmmmm, iygnoar dat las lyne; wuz pposed to hav ben eraysed;
Nawt Wurd Pretzull’s fawlt dis tyme; doan wunt to maike
whyppyng boi owt ov hym……
If goggies getz dere own site (ihasahotdog.com), maybe teh fings shud get one too!
I like the variety. Cats aren’t the only funny/cute things in the world.
Ai do too – but maybee once a week wud bee enuf?? Hau mennee funnee furnichurz can there bee???
Yah I agreez one lolthing per week not per day
Oh great burgerz and ceeleeng cat in heaben
plz to be granting us our wish.
Amen
iz agreen wif u! wanna see faces see facesinplaces.com
tanks
I like teh lolthings and teh lolcats, and pretty much all things lolled and byootiful.
It seems that mabye teh site is goin thru a growth splurt. Praps itz time for another spinoff, ร la icanhashotdog. This would be 4 teh lolthings and mabye called “i can has resburger”, with “res” being Latin for “things” as in “resistentialism”, teh theery that inanimate objects has negative attitudes twords hyoomins.
I votes fur moar kittehs too, altho teh lolfings are alsew teh funneh.
I fink LCB has good idea.
Joo do haz gud idea, LCB and I needda apologize for sayin it rong. I said like I were speakin for all da Cheezfrends. Ob course I do not. Bad me! Bad me! Go to my room!
*Sulks and slinks away*
I purrsonally miss teh lolrus and his bukkit.
.
Having sed that, I enjoyed teh lolcreatures and lolthings for teh novelty they provided, but for me, ICHC was all about teh cats.
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The lolthings are becoming less like an interesting, unique dinner guest and more like teh crazy uncle that won’t go home. Once in a while is very entertaining. Now we need a lolfurniture/lolarchitecture page.
.
I remind myself of a troll (?) several pages back who sed “whar’s teh kitteh – I don’t see teh kitteh?!?!” and “What is this – Icanhazreligion, Icanhazpolitics?”
I thot the church pews picture was hilariously captioned, and teh posts were informative, educational, and entertaining. There’s some great material out there, but how about budding off another site? Kthxbai. f.r.
OMGWTFBBQ!
*snerk!!*
Iz taht Basement Cat’s BBQ?
his speshultee are freezburgurs!
Yay! Good wun, Skimmie!
Wit a sied uv frozen french friez!
Yum frozen french friez wtih catsup icing!
The happy chair, the sad sink, now the angry BBQ – these are the best images! thanks!!
This bee-bee-kyoo are thinkin’:
Oh, if ownlee luks cud grill
Oh Ayre!!! Owwiiee Owwiee an *grooaann*
Am I the only one who thinks this looks a little bit like a skull?
eider taht, or a stormtrooper
iz mah photo adn I call it DeathsheadBBQ
Kinda remynds me uv a Samyrai warrior mask, wif teh grimace to fryten ennemys. EEky! Ai runz awai FAST!
Teh BBQ is nawt teh onlee wun woo hates teh winter.
I can haz spring??? purty pleeze? purty pleeze wif kahlua awn top?
kthxbai
Did yoo say yoo wuntz springz too?! OK, I givs yoo a payr uv springz on yor feetz, just liek LCB!
*poof, springz majiklee appeer on PB2K’s feetz*
Hey wayt! Nao we haz TWO uv tehm bowncing arownd! Lukkowt!
Do. NOT. WAAAAAANT!
This reminds me of a great lolpic manquรฉ. I hads a noo swetshirt that was wrong size or culler or something, so I rolled it up and put it on toppa teh dresser to send back teh next day. When I went to bed and had all teh lites out but teh reeding lite, I looked over at teh dresser and teh side of teh rolled-all-up swetshirt looked like it was looking at me! It was a face, no doubt.
.
This was long befoar ICHC but part of me sed “get a picshur of this!” Problem was that camra was in anudder part of teh house and I was all alone. Teh face was freeking me out! So I counted to 10 — twice — and got outta teh bed and unfolded teh shirt (bye-bye skerry face!) and went back to bed.
.
I wished now that I had gotten picshur first but frenz, it was teh sooper-creepy.
did it skeer you shirtless?
U mite say that.
.
O wait. U alreddy did.
I noes whut yoo meens abowt teh skeery stuffs. Yor storee reminez meh – I haz a weerd thing I sumtiems duz to skeer mahself.
Whylst watchin a skeery moobie, sumtiems I gozinta teh baffroom an luks at mah skeered self in teh meerur. Mah skeered faec skeers me eben moar! Ah luks at mahself an triez to maek mah faec luk even moar skeered – then mah sooper-skeered self skeers meh even moar!
Disfunkshunal behayvyors – ah haz sum! I lubs teh skeery moobies an buks . . .
Obveeyusly, teh shurt knew it wuz gettin sint bakk!
Mah brudder had sumfing laik dat happen – he sneeked into teh the-ay-ter as a kid an saw “Jaws”. He had dis red blankit, an woke up in teh middul uv teh nite – had pushed teh blankit down to his waest – saw nuffing but red….hayrs wuz stils standin on enz at brekfuss, pur guy.
Ohhhhh, yea! Things can get reely skeery. Wuz klosit dor at mai gramma’s hous had pattern in wud lukked jus like face wif bulgin; aies an mouf fulla teefs. Hated to open dat dor when wuz liddle kitn.
OMG DAT GRL IS ANGRRRR.
>:O
Dis luks like BBQ at mouth of Hadees. Yu noe, abandun-hope-all-ye-who-entertain-here.
Poor fing iz lonley. By nao dere shud be partiez wif ppl and fuds.
Seames we eithur haytes dis bar-bee-kue oar feels sorree fur himses.
Wut to doo?
Ai knoe, dere rlly be a kitteh hydyng iynsyde teh BBQ;
Woan cum owt til hims getz at leest scayle wayge fur teh foto-op.
dood, I totally identify with Angry BBQ. It snowed heer in Toledo on the furst day uf spring. D:<
What’s this snow stuff?
(San diego brat)
The omgwtfBBQ looks like a luchador, nachoooooo!
Lul! That’s awesome.
looks bit liek arnold chwarzeneggur!!!1!
loenly BBQ wishes that teh spring cukowtz wud cum
Arg. I heerz u dere, Angry BBQ. I feelz ur payne. [shivrs an bundls up wiv blankit]
Emo elevator
*sings* Transformers, robots in disguiise!
hahaha not funny i found it rubiish :@
dis funnier than most of t lolcats! funnr > all ceiling cat 4 shure. Go angree bbq!!
angree bbkew luks lyk it belongz in “Brave Little Toaster”. Mad scaree air condishunurz.