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i control it

iz awl minez.

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149 Comments »

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

mary O'Spockn

no, kitteh. only One has dat.

ConCatulashuns, LCB! Yew has taken teh taupe spot!

zippee!!!

ann kitteh has teh tawp, 2. (butt ware teh bottel dat goez unnder it?)

 
 
Kim

Dis teh throne uv teh Omnipotent One? An he has a bumblybee toy?

I can has a different universe plzkthx?

Cookie's Human

Omnipotent Kitteh - Ceiling Cat, in all His manyfestayshuns - likes to kick back sumtimes and relax in His favorite comfee chair - da one dat haz da heedeous upholstry, and play wid da most simple of toys. Yes, He could do the same to da orbit of Jupiter, but todai He wishes to play wid da bottle top.

On formal okkassions, He sits on the golden throne wid da deep, soft fluffy kushions, and plays wid da planets.

sarakitty

An den he retierz 2 Dunmanifestin, retierment hoem ob teh godz.

 
 
kafleen

Innurestin.

I been seein dis fyoochur sitcom in mah mind.

A sitcom abowt God. He bee sittin in him comfee chair, watchin teh happunins ub teh universe.

Unforchunatlee, (beecaws we gots too hab a feemale skapegoat, alwus) dere bee Mrs. God. (I imagine her as teh mom in ebburybodee lubs Raymond.)

When agguravatin theengs happun, she say all winee,”Smite him!!!” an God in his Lazyboy just rolls his eyes an gibs teh paw.

Dis will bee teh beeginnin ub teh end.

gibbocat

eyeull dror dat eef yu rytz teh skrypt. ;)

 
cweenmj

Kafleen, u b hafing deh strangest ideas.
God in hiz lazeeboi!!! :lol:

JanetCanHas4Kittehs

But it’z as cloase to rite as enething. Maybee even moar. Duz teh bible nawt say man wuz maed in hims image? Well - there you have it!

 
 
 
BamaHern

kafleen,
f u wood liek 2 tawk about it wif a man hooz bin a atheist 4 moar tanh 40 yeerss, rite mii!!
mozley, ai fink peepz dunt see mii az a bad man. i wish teh usa peepz wood do wut i thot i red inna nu testuminx - hep aut teh pore peepz! muneez nawt b malin u gud!
i mai regret tellin it butt rite me here: ronald.parker@mindspring.com

 
 
Phillipe d'Beaker

Yes, C’sH, yew has it just ryte. An we shud be thankful (as, indeed, wif all things related to Ceiling Cat) that sumtimes he duz teh simpler games. Eben teh omnipotent CC needs practice. Wunce in a while, he drops fings (maybe gets distractified by sunbeem, or gushyfud, or needs to take a nap). Con-sekwenzes can be de-zazterous:
.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/space/03/21/exploding.star.ap/index.html
.
oops!!

JanetCanHas4Kittehs

OHAIPDB (not yet - sister camping in Arches!)

Explosion vaporized any planet nearby

OOPS INDEED!!!! LOL! Well - purrhaps not so LOL if you were awn taht plane. . .

Phillipe d'Beaker

Yes, so Ceiling Cat haz hims practice wif teh bottle tops, then teh small planets, tehn teh big gas jiants (itz speshully trickly to do saturn and keep all the rings in playce), tehen the stars, galaxies, uniberses. Then is tyme for a nap.

JanetCanHas4Kittehs

:shock: Oh mai!!! Ai think - ai shall chooz nawt to think fur a wile. . .

 
 
 
 
 
octochan

teh Ceiling Cat, he wurkz in meesteereeyus waiz. he iz a cat, after awl.

 
 
Cookie's Human

Conga rats, lcb, for having top nawt-sekond!

The Anshent Egyptshens were wise…they worshipped the kittehs az gods.

(My Egyptshen Christian huzband hates to aknowleje dis skurilous fact!)

mary O'Spockn

ummm, dint dey also wurship dung beetles? oar did i maek dat up?

Cookie's Human

It be a reinkarnayshun thing.

No1

re-unkarnatid az a dung beetle? Do not want!

no 1 in particular

Ummm…did ai wok in awn dis convirsayshun at teh rong tiem?
ai dunt tink teh ejippshuns beeleeved in re-enkarnashun. insted, dey beeleeveded dat teh fairoz turneded intew godz. veri weerd, ai noes…
oh, yeh, hai ebbrywun!

Cookie's Human

But even da non-pharaoh types (who could afford to be mummyfyed) would leave dis life, and if dere souls be lite enuff, and be incarnated again into a life similar to what they left behind, except it be in da spirit world. Their spirits be flying around in a little bird like form kalled a ba (nice for the kitteh-gods to swat at). These peoples’ toomb be filled wid statues and art to show the kind of afterlife they hoped to have.

When I dies, I be hoping to go play wid da kittehs.

Cookie's Human

Or be reincarnated as the hot-looking officer on da Enterprise who catches Kirk’s eye……..

Or be reinkarnated as a cat who belongs to someone who dearly loves me….

jamamakitty

oh yesssss, mai bff an ai boff says wen wiii goes we wanz to cum bak az our kittehs………

 
 
mary O'Spockn

wood wun ob doze stachoos be ob a joy giving elolfant?

 
 
 
 
 
woozled

It were a skarab, a vair-eye-a-tee ob teh poopy ball roller bug.
It were cymbalaizing lyfe (teh bbaybee bugzes) araiiiiiiiiizing from teh deth (cymbalaized by teh poopy).

BamaHern

yeh, cuz lief allus b poppin up fum …well…u gno…teh poppin up stuf

mary O'Spockn

hey, i see dere’s a troll around. you got Albert teh Alligator wif you? Fyumi is off on Spring Brake.

BamaHern

Albert allus kumz wit mii (wii haz a non-xklusmive relationmusipz)

BamaHern

butt hiz troll-scarfin iz allus aksimedental (4 leegul purpmoses!)

mary O'Spockn

i thimk aksimi dental troll skarfin iz jest wut wee needs, speshulee frum a Litty Gator’s purspektif.

BamaHern

kwotin Albert, “Nom-nom-nom, scusez me! Eeerp!”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
s.t.e.n.d

“actually, I only control the portion of the universe composed of small, plastic screw tops. it’s not as useful a superpower as you might imagine”

 
 
mary O'Spockn

♫ i got da powah!

mary O'Spockn

this be the music from LionKing, “I Got teh Power”

 
 
Jessarakitty

-Reminds me of the babe, the babe with the power!

Wolverine Girl

Labyrinth FTW!!!

 
sarakitty

Teh power 2 hoodoo?

 
 
Kim

Uh-oh. Hyoomins not sposed to has seen teh kitteh seekrit powahs. Erasin uv teh memrees will commence at once!

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

Jenniffuurr

Didjoo juss flashy-thing me?

 
DavecanhasDrTinycat

I’s not kiddin yous, K. Has yooo eber flashy-thinged mees?

 
 
 
SignNinja

….Optimus…..♫You got da powah!

 
 
Cookie's Human

But we all knew who kontrolled it!

 
zippee!!!

lyfe is juss a chayr ob bowleez. Sum kinda frooty uniberse, no?

 
 
doctorcat

Iz related to ironic sofa? Wd dis be non-ironic use of fuglee chair?

Bubbashoomin

Chair not fugly, I kinda likes it. *ennybodie seen mai glasses?*

 
 
kitteh kat

dis chare is da pleh!!!

 
 
Wolverine Girl

Jedi skillz. I haz them.

zippee!!!

Gurlz lyke guis wiff skillz—kompooter haking skillz, bowstaff skillz, numchuck skillz, jedi-boddel-lid-lebitayting skillz—-gosh!

 
No1

well, ai alweez wunnered why dere wuz no gurl jedis. long, long ago, inna gallixee fer, fer awai…dere wuz teh sexism! hmph!

 
 
D Marie

If kitteh controls teh uniberse, can he get rid ob mai Shingles? Plskthx?

Oh Hai evrybuddee. I go back to bed now.

Night Night.

mary O'Spockn

hopes you gets bettah, soon!

 
cweenmj

D Marie, u haz shinglez? Mai mommy, hoo noes ebberything, sez rub buttermilk on teh shinglez. Ai not noeing if dat werkz, iz ‘old wivez tale’. But sumtimez deh old wivez noez wut they b talking about.

 
idansdansdans

Oh D Marie… So soree!! Teh shingles am sew awfull adn tear rubble. Plz get bedder fast!!

jamamakitty

best wishes dat yr shingleeees go wai fast!! aym on medicasian dat causes teh ichies!! has rarely bin sew mizzerubble!! only 10 wks to go! can’t wait. gud luck tew yew………can be sew painfuel!! mai thots be wit yew and yer kittlins who wants yew bak to normul sew yew can dote on demz as tey sew richleee deserb!!

 
 
zippee!!!

yeeech, shingles! So srry, D Marie! I bleevs it B won ob teh werst kynds of payn, B cuz I wonse hadda breef eppy-soda wiff nerv-opothee frum my deer liddle lupus, and I herd that that nerf payn is simyoolayer to shingles. Excursiating. My hubby rubbed eye-cee kubes on it, an that dulled it for a whyle. I hoap I nebber get dat agin! I tell yer shingles: GO WAY! a pox on yore shingles!

woozled

U wants her haz chikkypox on tawp ob her icky shhingleeses? eeeew!
.
(Srsly, hope fings get better fastur kwik 4 u D Marie)

patticlan

I believe shingles are a result of having had chicken pox as a kid. The virus hibernates for years or something like that and manifests as shingles. I had it a couple years ago and the antiviral medication Valtrex helped to clear it up. I am already nuts enough, and that damn near put me over the edge, around the bend and anything else you can think of.

So D. Marie hope you get over it very quickly. {{{{D. Marie}}}}.