Universe
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sunnyhuckle on I seen him maekin noms on… landl on But wayt! Dere’s mo… gnomez on I wonder how long landl on But wayt! Dere’s mo… cweenmj on I seen him maekin noms on… parrothead on I seen him maekin noms on… landl on But wayt! Dere’s mo… nightshayde on I seen him maekin noms on… parrothead on I seen him maekin noms on… Jack Deth on Cloaking device . . . off nightshayde on I seen him maekin noms on… Redneck_Rebel on I seen him maekin noms on… grmawgs on I seen him maekin noms on… Jack Deth on I seen him maekin noms on… parrothead on I seen him maekin noms on… 
Cheezburger Network Blog
I can has omnipotence?
no, kitteh. only One has dat.
ConCatulashuns, LCB! Yew has taken teh taupe spot!
ann kitteh has teh tawp, 2. (butt ware teh bottel dat goez unnder it?)
Dis teh throne uv teh Omnipotent One? An he has a bumblybee toy?
I can has a different universe plzkthx?
Omnipotent Kitteh – Ceiling Cat, in all His manyfestayshuns – likes to kick back sumtimes and relax in His favorite comfee chair – da one dat haz da heedeous upholstry, and play wid da most simple of toys. Yes, He could do the same to da orbit of Jupiter, but todai He wishes to play wid da bottle top.
On formal okkassions, He sits on the golden throne wid da deep, soft fluffy kushions, and plays wid da planets.
An den he retierz 2 Dunmanifestin, retierment hoem ob teh godz.
Pratchett FTW
Innurestin.
I been seein dis fyoochur sitcom in mah mind.
A sitcom abowt God. He bee sittin in him comfee chair, watchin teh happunins ub teh universe.
Unforchunatlee, (beecaws we gots too hab a feemale skapegoat, alwus) dere bee Mrs. God. (I imagine her as teh mom in ebburybodee lubs Raymond.)
When agguravatin theengs happun, she say all winee,”Smite him!!!” an God in his Lazyboy just rolls his eyes an gibs teh paw.
Dis will bee teh beeginnin ub teh end.
eyeull dror dat eef yu rytz teh skrypt.
Kafleen, u b hafing deh strangest ideas.
God in hiz lazeeboi!!!
I noes.
But it’z as cloase to rite as enething. Maybee even moar. Duz teh bible nawt say man wuz maed in hims image? Well – there you have it!
kafleen,
f u wood liek 2 tawk about it wif a man hooz bin a atheist 4 moar tanh 40 yeerss, rite mii!!
mozley, ai fink peepz dunt see mii az a bad man. i wish teh usa peepz wood do wut i thot i red inna nu testuminx – hep aut teh pore peepz! muneez nawt b malin u gud!
i mai regret tellin it butt rite me here: ronald.parker@mindspring.com
Yes, C’sH, yew has it just ryte. An we shud be thankful (as, indeed, wif all things related to Ceiling Cat) that sumtimes he duz teh simpler games. Eben teh omnipotent CC needs practice. Wunce in a while, he drops fings (maybe gets distractified by sunbeem, or gushyfud, or needs to take a nap). Con-sekwenzes can be de-zazterous:
.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/space/03/21/exploding.star.ap/index.html
.
oops!!
OHAIPDB (not yet – sister camping in Arches!)
Explosion vaporized any planet nearby
OOPS INDEED!!!! LOL! Well – purrhaps not so LOL if you were awn taht plane. . .
Yes, so Ceiling Cat haz hims practice wif teh bottle tops, then teh small planets, tehn teh big gas jiants (itz speshully trickly to do saturn and keep all the rings in playce), tehen the stars, galaxies, uniberses. Then is tyme for a nap.
teh Ceiling Cat, he wurkz in meesteereeyus waiz. he iz a cat, after awl.
Conga rats, lcb, for having top nawt-sekond!
The Anshent Egyptshens were wise…they worshipped the kittehs az gods.
(My Egyptshen Christian huzband hates to aknowleje dis skurilous fact!)
ummm, dint dey also wurship dung beetles? oar did i maek dat up?
It be a reinkarnayshun thing.
re-unkarnatid az a dung beetle? Do not want!
Ummm…did ai wok in awn dis convirsayshun at teh rong tiem?
ai dunt tink teh ejippshuns beeleeved in re-enkarnashun. insted, dey beeleeveded dat teh fairoz turneded intew godz. veri weerd, ai noes…
oh, yeh, hai ebbrywun!
But even da non-pharaoh types (who could afford to be mummyfyed) would leave dis life, and if dere souls be lite enuff, and be incarnated again into a life similar to what they left behind, except it be in da spirit world. Their spirits be flying around in a little bird like form kalled a ba (nice for the kitteh-gods to swat at). These peoples’ toomb be filled wid statues and art to show the kind of afterlife they hoped to have.
When I dies, I be hoping to go play wid da kittehs.
Or be reincarnated as the hot-looking officer on da Enterprise who catches Kirk’s eye……..
Or be reinkarnated as a cat who belongs to someone who dearly loves me….
oh yesssss, mai bff an ai boff says wen wiii goes we wanz to cum bak az our kittehs………
wood wun ob doze stachoos be ob a joy giving elolfant?
It were a skarab, a vair-eye-a-tee ob teh poopy ball roller bug.
It were cymbalaizing lyfe (teh bbaybee bugzes) araiiiiiiiiizing from teh deth (cymbalaized by teh poopy).
yeh, cuz lief allus b poppin up fum …well…u gno…teh poppin up stuf
hey, i see dere’s a troll around. you got Albert teh Alligator wif you? Fyumi is off on Spring Brake.
Albert allus kumz wit mii (wii haz a non-xklusmive relationmusipz)
butt hiz troll-scarfin iz allus aksimedental (4 leegul purpmoses!)
i thimk aksimi dental troll skarfin iz jest wut wee needs, speshulee frum a Litty Gator’s purspektif.
kwotin Albert, “Nom-nom-nom, scusez me! Eeerp!”
“actually, I only control the portion of the universe composed of small, plastic screw tops. it’s not as useful a superpower as you might imagine”
♫ i got da powah!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaeMMkHgtP8
this be the music from LionKing, “I Got teh Power”
-Reminds me of the babe, the babe with the power!
Labyrinth FTW!!!
Teh power 2 hoodoo?
Uh-oh. Hyoomins not sposed to has seen teh kitteh seekrit powahs. Erasin uv teh memrees will commence at once!
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Didjoo juss flashy-thing me?
*giggle*
I’s not kiddin yous, K. Has yooo eber flashy-thinged mees?
….Optimus…..♫You got da powah!
But we all knew who kontrolled it!
skarry chairry
Indeed!
lyfe is juss a chayr ob bowleez. Sum kinda frooty uniberse, no?
Iz related to ironic sofa? Wd dis be non-ironic use of fuglee chair?
Chair not fugly, I kinda likes it. *ennybodie seen mai glasses?*
dis chare is da pleh!!!
Jedi skillz. I haz them.
Gurlz lyke guis wiff skillz—kompooter haking skillz, bowstaff skillz, numchuck skillz, jedi-boddel-lid-lebitayting skillz—-gosh!
well, ai alweez wunnered why dere wuz no gurl jedis. long, long ago, inna gallixee fer, fer awai…dere wuz teh sexism! hmph!
If kitteh controls teh uniberse, can he get rid ob mai Shingles? Plskthx?
Oh Hai evrybuddee. I go back to bed now.
Night Night.
hopes you gets bettah, soon!
D Marie, u haz shinglez? Mai mommy, hoo noes ebberything, sez rub buttermilk on teh shinglez. Ai not noeing if dat werkz, iz ‘old wivez tale’. But sumtimez deh old wivez noez wut they b talking about.
Oh D Marie… So soree!! Teh shingles am sew awfull adn tear rubble. Plz get bedder fast!!
best wishes dat yr shingleeees go wai fast!! aym on medicasian dat causes teh ichies!! has rarely bin sew mizzerubble!! only 10 wks to go! can’t wait. gud luck tew yew………can be sew painfuel!! mai thots be wit yew and yer kittlins who wants yew bak to normul sew yew can dote on demz as tey sew richleee deserb!!
yeeech, shingles! So srry, D Marie! I bleevs it B won ob teh werst kynds of payn, B cuz I wonse hadda breef eppy-soda wiff nerv-opothee frum my deer liddle lupus, and I herd that that nerf payn is simyoolayer to shingles. Excursiating. My hubby rubbed eye-cee kubes on it, an that dulled it for a whyle. I hoap I nebber get dat agin! I tell yer shingles: GO WAY! a pox on yore shingles!
U wants her haz chikkypox on tawp ob her icky shhingleeses? eeeew!
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(Srsly, hope fings get better fastur kwik 4 u D Marie)
I believe shingles are a result of having had chicken pox as a kid. The virus hibernates for years or something like that and manifests as shingles. I had it a couple years ago and the antiviral medication Valtrex helped to clear it up. I am already nuts enough, and that damn near put me over the edge, around the bend and anything else you can think of.
So D. Marie hope you get over it very quickly. {{{{D. Marie}}}}.
Oh noooooes!!! D Marie. Nawt teh Shingles!!
Ai wuz wundering whar yoo haz been. At leest – now we know whar yoo ar. Ai moast sincerelee doo hoep yoo ar soon bedder!! Az ai know yoo hoep, too!
*jentlee* {{{ {D Marie }}}}}
i hadz em! Pleh, pleh, pleh, pleh! Pleh 2 teh nth!
thot i wuz havin Tourettes syndrome 4 about a week! (Cuz i wood jump aroun teh room cussin!) ai rubbed sum capsaicin onit adn cried 4 20 minnits (adn finnished teh 100 proof single malt mai hunniie gived mii 4 mai birfdai 3 yeers urlyer)!!@#$%
ackshully, it helped
f u gonna trai teh capsaicin, b reddy wif teh scotch! Rly
Iz dat relayted to teh ol cold kyure? “Put hat on bedpost. Get in bed. Drink Whiskey until you see two hats.” U mai still has de cole, but u doesn’t kare!
hominy hatz?
nao dats just corny hatz iznt med ob hominy,gritz iz.
corny tho i iz, i gritz mai teefs adn haz nuther swaller ub scotch – viola! nuther hat!
nutter hat?! amaizing!
i see you ack choired dat taste fur skotch- fur medisinal porpoises.
gud 4 mii Dr. Dolphin say i kant b fordin teh stuf i lieks!
Furst eye praktiss wiff bottel top. Wen masturred dat skill, I getz ridd uv dis atro… hideo… sooper-fuglee chare!
Chare wus kitteh’s nawt second atimpt at teh majik… Tahtz’ Y him iz bak 2 teh basiks naow!!!! Niids moar praktiss!
Kitteh prakktissez
Mentill Teleppathee awn
smawll simpill awbjekktz
Kitteh awllreddee
cawntroalz herz Hewminz wiff soff
throatee jentill Purrz
Dawggeh playz nawt furst
fiddill 2 Kitteh. No can
habz Feelyne Misteek
Wurrld domminayshun
iz nawt far frum Kitteh’z grasp.
Awll herz needz iz tyme!
Jack.
ACKshully, tahts nawt Teleptathee (mynd-2-mynd communificaturation) itz telly-can-he-sez (m0ovin’ fings in free-D wifout tuching tehm).
This ar trufax.
We know – duzzn’t matter.
Dat Wil Smith movee wif the kitteh an theh universe wai better then i m legend. kittehs bored wif i m legend. sux, they sai. all 4 of dem.
Teh oarijinull wuz good… Omega Man (sry, ‘Oohmegger Hyoomin’), 1971 wif Chuck “Doan’t Calls Mee Mozes!” Heston. Erlyest moogie ai ken m’membr wif inter-rayshul “reelayshuns” (implyd) fahr beeyond teh meer Kirk-Uhura smooch.
.
Masheen gunz adn vampyrez… hao ken u goes rong?
Mebbee tihs is wehre teh Busy Bee frum Best in Show went
Me finks u mai bee rite!
mai goggee’s daadee wuz in teh Best in Show. At endd, wen herdin groop winnah iz shohn, dat iz her daddee, Monroh, teh bloo merle shelltee!
wow kitteh has powers ta changes the univers and he uses teh power to levitashun a gatoraid bottle cap? fail!
Meh telekitneesiz. Let me shows you it.
BOOM *gigglolz* Sorree DchDTc – ai’m still laffing. Taht wuz reelee the funniest thing EBER heer, ai think!
Hehe I’s glad yous likeded it so much! I gess I has to find sumpin else stoopy to do!
i laffed til i cried!
EBREEbuddee’s tawking about it. Instant klassik. gibbocat said he thot iz wuz troolee grate!!! LOLZ. Just thinkng abot it. Ai’ve been telling everbuddy to go luk. There wuz justs sumthing about it. . .BWWHAHAHHAHAHHHAHhahahahah.. O – there. ai . . .nope. . . . moar gigglolz!! *BEEEEG bref*
But – Dave – nuthing too beeg. Dont trai enething danjerous. We hearts yoo way too much.
Finally gots meh mickrowabes cleaned owt wif snadblaster.
ai wud lubs to see teh snadblaster!! gots a naise ring to it!!
Yeah gotta bees careful of yous snads around dat fing, dats for sure!!!
You mean – you REALLY cleaned it with a snadblaster?? I thought you were speaking more metaphorically!
O – you just crack me up!!! LOLz!!
Ok – DavechDTc!!! It’s tiem we met. Wud. . .ai can hardlee type, ai’m laffing so hard. ai havn’t laffed this much awl day. I guess – it is the sweet innocent tone in which you couch your remarks. LOLOLOlZ. *snerk* Ok *catching bref*
so – wud. . .wud yoo pleez tell mee(us) something about yurself?? Whre yoo ar frum – what yoo do. You know, that kind of thing. Hahahahahah. Can’t stop. *gasp*
OK – I’m dun. . .
Wile yu is watchin me float teh bottultop mah cohorts is raidin teh refrijeratur.
Neener neener neener.
dere iz no spoon
Win.
Uri Gellercat is in ur chare bendin ur mind
awesum pic u shud post sum more of dese
Teh wurld iz nao myn!
Hai, gaiz! ai’m bak!!!!!
hay, welcome bak. i wuz jest wundering wen yude cumbak.
O hai, no 1 in particular. ai’m so glad ur bak! Wuz it intersting???
string theerie cat theerizyz hez teh wun pullin teh stringz on teh merelely Universe kuntrollin kitteh!
ratzenfratzn.
dat Theseus string hint thing you gibbed is taunting me…
Mary O’ – did yoo ever go bak to teh furst place – where BH said Ambercat wuz verree cloase???
We ar awl . . .BamaHern. If we nebber getz it, will yoo just tell us? Remember, we AR kittehs, an tehrefor in danjur ov dying frum teh curiositee. Cud kill uz.
ay 4 wun duz nawt want tew goes dat wai eider!! sew spillz teh beans alreddddeee….
ur ubscurity, it eluuuuuudes meh. speshully at teh end of teh day, hmmmmmmm
altho teh mornin aint sew grate eider, acshully
sry, thot i didz.
Hern is a Merikan, mos scociously a Goon Show fan fum Merika.
I becummed a Goon Show fan whilst livin in Bamalama! (serch 4 “Hern-herna-hern” on “Ninja”)
(iz only gotz worst, ober teh yeers)
iz gotz B. Kliban, Lewis Carroll, Walt Kelly, George Herriman, Winsor McCay, David Hume, A. N. Whitehead, F. Zappa, A. Holdsworth, & lotz ub odder infections! Halp!
fanks, yew mite jus put mini kittehs out ob teh missseries! oar shud ai sai teh mysteries!
ai furgotz Jan Svankmajer – maizining!!
Ar yoo giggloling, BamaHern?? ai think yoo just likes to see us twisting in teh wind and screeming fur mersee!!! LOL!
i iz mos allus sirius, seldum somber!
An teh diffrenz between sirius an somber iz??
Besydes yoo?? Sirius?? Reelee?? *snikur*
An Jan Svankmajer. Iz this a cloo??? Oar ar yoo leeding us astray again.
Awn teh odder hand, ai hadn’t herd ov him befoar, an ai just googled him (ov corse!) an it duz indeed sound liek sumthing taht wud interest mee. But how doo yoo find awl ov these – to mee, eneway – obscure things. (Ai know – obscuritee iz teh luv ov yur lief!)
Yoo ar a hailee interesting purrson, O BamaHarn!
4 mii, heers wut i meenz
sirius = conserning bout teh portant thingz
nawt somber = doin itz wif teh lite hart
(fink Gandalf & Tom Bombadil)
Svankmajer iz a sir-reelist adn pupmeteer adn aminatinor
hii b takin on reel sirius stuff wif pupmetz & kartunez
see “The Death of Stalinism in Bohemia”
or mai mos favritz “Alice” – teh mos gud film ub “Alice in Wonderland”
az 2 hau i findz um – i been libbin on teh edge
teh edge ub Bamalama, adn teh edge ub Lanta!
Well!!1 LOLZ!! ai’m shur taht explains sumthing, but ai’m nawt reelee shur waht!
But ai will find these! Ai like most ov what yoo said yoo leik, so ai am luking forward to this!
nutter kweschun- aer you relayted to Selby K.?
noez, butt i meeted hir at teh Pogo Festival in Waycross Jawja, and recited 4 hir. Shii wuz vry gracious, butt i think it mint moar 2 mii, cuz Walt werk iz deer 2 mini!
fanks. just tryin to unravel the threds.
iz shur Walts werk wuz deer to Shelby
i mint taht mai recitin mint moar 2 mii, 2 able 2 recite 2 Walt’s widow, tahn it prolly mint 2 hiir! Shii prolly herd it b4!
mai LOLcat speech iz grately influenzed bai Pogo! (konfuzzlin!)
aw, heer u goez
Ariadne gived Theseus a bull-god sticker, adn a ball uv string 4 2 pay aut behinst uv hisself, so hii cud fiend hiz wai outten teh Labmyrinthez.
etymologically, “clue” cums fum “clew”….etc. eventumably in G(r)eek meenin ball of yarn, thread, or string
so clue = string!
i liekz dis stuf! hep yersef, f u doez!
fanks. i enjoid twine to fig your it out, readin about labyrynths and minotaurs adn stuff. howsumeber, i kep distrakting myself by remembering wehn i wus in knossos on crete, thinkin i wud get a clue.
kind of you not to string me a long…
mebbe teh clooo be at teh cololssus of roads?
goin 2 crete – “Do Want!”
’smarvelous.
srsly, i fink teh pun (adn itz browder ilk) iz teh highest form ub huma. mos yuma iz implicitly critical of something, or someone, butt teh pun, etc. b makin phun ub teh wai langwidge werks. adn it gitz moar groanz adn hissez, so datz allus gud!
i agrees.
nawt sprized.
hee- first red dat i thot it sed “spritzed” so
i wuz gettin out my Scentz ob Humor Spritzer.
I think i need sleepzzzzzzzzz.
nite-nite! mii 2. zzzzzzzz
mO’Scocious!
Gravety.
Thair is nun.
or
Thair is nuh Gravety.
Iz yor fawlt?
Sigh. Frenz called. Tasha had a stroke R sumpin. She wuz still breevin wen dey camed home, but hart beetin hard an breevin hard an havin seezures. I “looked” for her in my mind, but coodent see her, then saw her an her ded bruvver playin tuggee in da Feeld ober da Brij. But den wen her daddee wuz talkin on da uther fone to da vet, she traid to come bak to see him, but her bodee wuz old an sik. (13 is old fur a Chow…) Den she went away an had no payn. Fren sed by time he got her to da vet, she not der numoar. Dey iz sad an so am I.
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Boris and Natasha, together again Over the Bridge. Good dogs.
{{{{{onceajinx}}}}}}}}}}
mortality: wii haz it. i joinin
{{{{{{{{{onceajinx}}}}}}}}}
I out some pix on mai Flickr. She wuz keyoot an sweet.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bcgrote/
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Tanx fur yor hugs, I’m gonna miss her.
i wish wii could help. Much huggin 2 you!
{{{{{{onceajinx an old fren B1)}}}}}}
A gud way to go – but – how we wish they cud stay. *sniff* Now I needs a hankee big time! Too sad.
Aaaw. {{{{{{jinxee}}}}}}}
nuffing 2 sai….
{{{onceajinx}}}
that is the sad.
thots and cumfort and hugs to you.
Eanie Meanie Chili Beanie
The Spirits Are About To Speak.
Are they friendly spirits?
Hay, dis kitteh be luukin xackly liek owr byg awld Rushyn Gray wun.
Holey Nellie! It be reely hims, Ai swears it! Howe did he ebber git oaver dere on
dat cowch so fast; hims be upstares jes a minnit agoe!
Soe he be cuntroalyng teh hole UNIVERSE, huh??? Ai thot he jes cuntroaled HERE!!!
Sorreee. He be rlly a Rushyn Bloo kitteh. Wut wuz Ai finking? (mus be in
an Easter Daze; mai teeny-tiny brayne’s bin affeckted)
kitteh runs teh univers
with his evil sidekik bee
and hes got teh pichures to proove it!
tihs is suttle klue
to gets me anothur bottle uv water already
Psychic kitteh: I can has telekineeses?
teh matricks kitteh:
thar is no spoon
Do not try to levitate the bottle cap.
Only remember this: there is no bottle cap.
guess kitteh controls teh spice