O hai – I is big kitteh now

I is this many weeks today
make sure dey don steal ur presenz.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: AragornDK
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I is this many weeks today
make sure dey don steal ur presenz.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: AragornDK
» Recaption This NEW!
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Oh, heck!
SPLORT!!
I gots no CHRG. I gess I has to use tihs dongle…
Nope, taht dont werks. Hmmmm… how bout sum media cayses…
Sawry Maus! Heers da CHRG. *mop mop mop*. *stuff stuff stuff* hav sum hot choklit, heer I has sum wit sinamun in, mmmmmm nau u feels betr?
O noes! Emurjunsee calls from all ovar da wurld cumin in coz of dis pikshur.
haz to rusch. kthxbai
sowy, maus. i saw de … adn thot you wuz gonna add sumfin.
gud fing lovecat caem in to hep- dint meen t’leeb you dere in distress.
’s OK. I figgered wun ov yoo guize to comes to mai reskyoo…
Awwww – sorree Maus – ai wuzzn’t heer.
Sit daon!!1 Yoo got taht awn crooked. *adjust adjust SNAAAP* *pat pat pat*
There!!! MUCH bedder.
An – ai rellee think yoo probablee needs this sawft blankee.
Ummm – Scotch???
*whispurrs* Maus – yoo ar just supposed to lai there, awl helpless an splorted, until wun ov uz getz heer. An – gigglololololz – ai – ai reelee don’t think traing teh – dongle – wuz a gud idea. “self-help” ROLF!!!
Teh dongle wuz parshully suckcessfull: it plugded wun eer…
owie. dat duznt sound berry comfee.
here *lifs up CHRG, removes donglethingamabob*.
how bout some nice Tea, Erl Gray, hawt fur teh code?
*gentllee tuks in teh blankee*
dongle? don-gle? dongle? *walks awf lukin konfuzzled*
We tawked about this a number ov threads ago. Maus, an paws4thot.
A dongle iz apparentlee much liek a Unibersal cereal bus. an sumthing to do wif 20 years ago. Ai can’t say much moar – mai aiez were glayzing over.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dongle
“Dongle.”
.
I’ll take “Equipments That Sound Dirty But Isn’t” for $600, plz, Alex.
.
“Gender changer”
We alwais callded tehm “gender benders”…
SCSI (pronounced “SCUZZY”)
*whispurrs* Maus – yoo furgot to put awn teh “hat.”
On teh Top Five List oncet we dids “Drinks for Computer Nerds”, among which were SCSI Navel, ASCII Sour, And Many Moar!
Seagrams Seven-of-Nine…
111 & 111
ooo ooo oooo dis is teh binaree, iznt it?
7&7?
.
hmmmm. i duznt no alkoholic dwrinks berry well.
Yes: 7 & 7, which is Seagrams Seven (Canadian Whiskey) and 7-UP highball.
ah yesssss…. teh drinkies ov mi yute….memriz….ai haz dem……
Why are you performing a bitwise AND operation here? This is not logical…
ohai, Data! are you werking on the Ode to Spot?
Yes. But now Supreme Commander of the Universe Maus and myself must proceed to the computer core and perform several complicated and arcane tasks. It will take several hours. Until then…
Adieu, ma cherie…
*Was that adequate, Commander Maus?*
*Good stuff, Pinocchio*
*Snerk*
ah, yoo speek ze fronsch…
I speak many human and humanoid languages. Is this a problem?
Oh… I see. I am sure that Supreme Commander Maus says it with more flair than I. But it does not indicate than I mean it any the less.
I’m sorry Data. I didn’t see you there.
as fur wetter yu or Cmdr Maus has moar flair in speekin ze Fronsch- ithink i’d hav t’hav moar exampls foar comparisun.
Hmm. Something from your era, perhaps:
Est-ce que c’est la vraie vie ?
Est-ce que c’imagination est juste ?
Attrapé dans un éboulement
Aucune évasion de réalité
Ouvrez vos yeux
Regardez jusqu’aux cieux et voyez
Je suis juste un pauvre garçon, je n’ai besoin d’aucune sympathie
Puisque je suis venu facile, facile allez
Peu un haut, peu bas
Quoi qu’il en soit le vent souffle, n’importe pas vraiment à moi, à moi
*sigh* tahts lovelee.
Here is list:
# Pasty White Russian
# ASCII Sour
# Seagram’s Seven of Nine
# Harvey Codebanger
# Slow Comfortable Download Against the Firewall
# Chat Room on the Beach
# Dotcomikaze
# Blue Daiquiri Of Death
# Anything, as long as there’s a Mountain Dew chaser.
# Screamin’ Klingon
# SCSI Navel
# Rum and Jolt
# Your Company on the Rocks
# Sloe Porn Download
and the Number 1 Computer Nerd Alcoholic Beverage…
# Sex in Your Dreams
LOL!! Gud werk, lcb!!1 Yoo ar reelee the best!!
Hope u don’t mind mee dantsing in my uglee rubbur swimming cap wiff flowers.
Is too danguruss uddurwise….
my thots, zaktly.
congratulashuns! howz da code in teh hed?
has yu a rekwest fur songand/ordanz?
Teh code is beddur. Sittin in mai lungs at teh momunt, tho.
I has to hed down to Teh Dunjun to purrform a dongle-ectomy. Why dont yoo guize do an interprutives ballay to the theme frum Yung Frankensteen?
ummmmm, Janet, I finks we needs yure kurryography/directorial skills here.
Maus is your code in C++ or Fortran?
JCL Batch
Big, ugly, impossible to manage and it JUST WON”T GO AWAY!
whut exactly ar JLC Batch ?
I iz ignorant of dis knolidge
JCL Batch is wun ob teh mini, mini, deesendentz ob the JS Batch.
She writes confuzzilayting computah muzik, ushuallee skored fur the kazzoo.
Hee hee hee hee heeeeee!!!1!
u mai laff….oh yesss….but in teh days ov mi halcyon yute…ai was a prowd membur ov teh “Kenwood Marching Kazoo Band” an oh ……we wer teh reeely reely bad….tuk grate pride init….marcheded in teh th ov July parade…(folloed by miny ineeebreeeated hourz sittin awn a pole hittin eech odder wiff pillows an gettin noked into a big muddi whole…..)…..
(by teh way …u habbent herd anyfing till uv herd “Star Spanggleded Bannur ”
plaied bi 15 peeulz marchin bi wiff kazoos….mosse ebberywun laffed until dey was sik….an we wer prowd….our werk waz dun….
i fink Ms. JLC Batch is berry much teh tempr mental arteest tipe.
Hi mayntenanz type.
omit last werd. wuz typing in the twilitezone raparound.
IBM’s Job Control Language. Used on the old “big iron” mainframes to move files and run programs. Look at http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/J/JCL.html for more information.
Hai maus. Ai noes tihs JCL bash, n ai iz berry berry sowwy ewe mus plai wiht itz. Ewe haz mai simpahthee.
Well – it usullee takes a leest a week!!!!
Maus an Mary – that wuz a verree gud idea, but ai haz alreddee started a Gus Giordan class fur Jazz Hanz. Sorreee – ai shudda com bak up so see what wuz going awn furst.
Pleeze come down an join the class. It’s reelee lotsa fun. We dud doo wun hole sweep awn teh rong foot!!!! Fur the eggstra funnee.
Maus – ai’m shur yoo can doo it! Just bring yur hankee.
Ohm man! Dis babbeh callz for dubble CHRG(wdoi) and two xtra rapps of duk taape!! At leest!!!
ya! tehre shud be warnings!! u needs to get ur CRG (wdoi) on furrst!
snorglesnorklestat!
Comgratsululashuns Maus and MaryO! Waht’s gud danzin an songin fur TGIF??
well, i needs moar cofffeee. how bout dis (until maus recobers & makes rekwest) merengue “ojala llueve cafe” ( i wishd ‘twood rain coffee…)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJimpth-yNs
Oh Maus an Mary!!! Gud wuns, boff. It’s teh dai befoar Caturday. We ought to doo sumthing speshul. ai’m traing to think. Traiing being teh operative wurd heer.
*think think think think think* Nuthin yet. Got to go fur moar cawfee!
*sniff* Ai knoes!! We can purrtend to bee in wun ov Gus Giordano’s klasses.
An moove akross teh floor doing the “jazz hans.”
Liek this. Evreebuddy lion up.
Left foot forward (wif a kinda slinkee hip movement, an at the sayme time, rite arm out wif teh snappe jazz han *POW*
Repeet wif rite foot – tehn left – until we ar at the end ov the (BEEG) ruum – think – gym!!
Then we turns around an duz it again!
(sumtiesm we were fawling over laffing – wuzzn’t reele so eezy! – speshullee if yoo getz teh rite arm an rite leg going togther – then yum slinking though the ruum looking sumwhat liek a zombee.
I can has hi 5?
Bitty Babee Jazz Hands!
Bitty Babee Jazz Hands!!! Almoast sport-werthee awn itz own.
But – also gives mee a bit ov teh sad. Gus Giordano died a couple ov days ago. An it wuz in sum dans classes wif him taht ai furst lerned how to doo teh “Jazz Hands.”
“spLort-werthee” – ai ment to say.
For ref:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/13/arts/dance/13giordano.html?_r=1&ref=arts&oref=slogin
Thanz, Maus. {{{{{{Maus}}}}
Becuz he had dun hisself, he wuz verre interested in werking wif teh soljers. Fur sebra yeers, he came to jermanee to giv teh klasses fur teh soljers hoo were interessted in teh commewnitte theatre. An to us – hoo ran teh programs.
He luved teh jazz hands. He wud verree enthusiasticallee demonstrayte – much energee – arms straight out – hans up – POW!!!
an he wuz a reelee, reelee nice guy.
*sniff*
tip ob teh hat
to Mr. Giordano
slide slide twirl
*softly*
jazz hanz
nice touch.
I joyns yoo in a memmoreyul dantz fur teh faythful departed.
Gentil slyd, twirl. Gentil slyd, twirl.
*sawftly, revrentlee*
jazz pawz
So, you is five weeks?
I’m onlee free and a haff yeerz olllld…
an ai iz alraedee lernin cammophlazh!
but ai needz to lern spellchek bettur
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. *melts*
Mah thots eggzackly! LUK, just LUK at that wee liddel paw! Luk at teh paw pads! Luk at teh fuzz between teh pads! Reistunz is fewtul. Teh kyoot conkers teh wurld.
Teh CCC beddur be standeeng by! Looks liek a bizzy day cumming up.
An luk at teh fuzz! Teh fuzz! Teh wee white belleh fuzzes between teh gray wuns. An teh liddel bib ther. An teh stripeys. Did evvreewun see teh stripeys? An those behbeh bloos?
AWWwwwww.
Stop poyntin stuff owt! Ai’m tryin nawt 2 splort….
..
..
..
Uh-oh….iz comin…
..
..
..
SPLORT!
Oh noes, rhsb. I think I wuz an akksessury in maykin yor splort.
Heer’z teh CCC rite by us. I givs yoo sum choklit whyl I tuks yor brayns bak in.
*tuk tuk* Nao letz put TWO CHRGs on – duck tayp to rap it tyte *tayp tayp*
I tries to luk away an nawt poynt owt moar uv teh kyoot . . .
*gremlin sees teh fuzzy rite paw uf this kitteh, holds on tite to her own CHRG!*
Say, wun wunders – iz aiding and abetting a splort a criem?
In udder wurds, cud I be arresticayted fur poyntin owt teh kyoot that leeds to teh splorting uv udder ICHC’ers?
*ponders a lief uv criem, wunders whar LCB is an whether we cud be cell mayts*
What a cute bebbeh kitteh
Luk at the big earses and the cute pawzes
and dah stripeh belleh
I ar gonna conquer dah world wid mah cutenezz
sp…
slp…
spol….
sp sp sp …
SPLOOOOOOORT !!eleven!!
*thud*
Ooo! I triez to halp but must do with my eyez closed.. cannawt luk at the kyoot kitteh… but hao can ai halp with my eyez closed? Ai peekz.
OH NOES!!
*SPLORT*
CCC iz gonna hafta call for xtra help todai, I can tell!
Ai tied nawt tew luk,but teh cuyositte getz me……an……..
SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT……………………
.
…..thud.
Ohhhhhh!!1 Tidmum. Ai’m am still heer.
Heer. Ai helps yoo up. Puttin yoo ober heer wif Phllipe an leeza-b.
Now – *scraaaaoe!! plop!* *scoop scoop scoopity scoop ploop!*
There!!! aw bak wehre they belong!!! An now – teh CHRG(wdoi) – luk – ai found wun ov Ambercats orijunal wuns wif teh drawings of teh ellefant behines!!! Wuz way in teh bak!! *tug tug tug* THERE!!
Yoo seit there an hold Phillipes’ odder hand – an a raps yoo up in this niz green sawft blankee. an – of corse, teh yummee choklit ov coomfort.
{{{{{{Tidmum}}}}} You’ll be awl bedder reel quik.
Ohai Janet,
*sips teh hawt chokklit,an tugz teh beyyodiful blankie rown tite.*
feelin a liddle bedder nao.Few moar minnitz.
Hey Phillipe,Hey leeza-b,feelin bedder Yet?
We shore am beein lukked after an kaered fur.
Oh NOOOOES. DUBBLE SPLORT!!!!
OK – nawt to panic. CCC is heer – ai meen – me -ai – nawt to panic.
So – Phillipe – yoo ar teh wurst (oh – ai can’t halp it. *snikur*!) – *ahem* – So – *hans under arms – HEAVE up to sittin posishun – props against teh wall.*
leea-b. Dont moove. Ai don’t want to get these braynes awl mixed up.
*scoop scoop scoop PLOOP!* Tehre -Philiipe’a braynes ar bak in.
Now – *scoop scoop scraype scraype PLIPPITEE PLOOP* leezz-b braynes in.
Gud. Now – ai putz Phillpes CHRG(wdoi) awn *tug tug tud SNNNAAP!!
An yoo leeza-b *tug tug tug ssssnaapp*
Now – bloo blankee fur yoo Phillipe – anna pink wun fur yoo leeza-b.
An yur choklit.
Now – ai think yoo shud bof sit heer fur a wile an hold hans. Will maek yoo boff much bedder sooner!!!
oh, fanks berry much, JCH4K
this picshur is jus way 2 kyoot. needs warning label.
*sips chocolate*
*feelin better alreddy*
Ohh fanks Janet… ai duz feel better… *sigh* pink is mai vrit colur!!
PdB is rite, they needz a warning on dis wun!!
Hmm…. however ai haz a strainge urge to hed to a lab-or-atorie….and ai’m feeling super smart too! r u sur ai didn’t get sum extra branes?
plz 2 haz sweet bebbeh grey stripey kitteh 2 sleep on mah pillo n soothe mah hed? iz goin bak 2 bed n takin mah migrane wit me.
Ai vot3 Kayjoy getz 2 take bebeh kitteh. Migraynez is teh ebil.
Ai has dem 2.
Hoep u feel bettur soon!
Aye ussta haf teh migranez….din I gotted a divorse…an dey all went awai!
Thanx Crazy-like-a -foxy-lady!
I’m happitail ur done wit them (n him,as he wuz teh cause of pane)
ew nobusy wantz 2 tawk 2 cwazy old lady in her… wat wuz teh age agen?
Thank u rhsb! i tried mo meds n went 2 bed n dreamt of kitteh. ZZZZ-purrrr.
i hope teh migranes r rare wit u, i prays dey goes away fureber!
u shuda left ur my grain on teh kichen tabel b4 u went bak 2 beds. neber taek 1 wif u.
(yeah I get tehm 2. tehy are teh pleh.)
Thanx kittehlurve,
i try to giv dem away or lose dem, but dey come creepin bak.
i hope u lose yours fur always.
Oooh, boi! Wai don dey post warrnins? Didn ebben habba chanz tu put heedting on!
Hapee birdday lidle – ai meen BIG – Kitteh!
Meenz heddting.
aww das da cuttes ting i eva seeen. hy fife widdle budee
U meen BIGG Budee!
ZOMG! THUD….
Happee birfdaiye kitteh! U reewee iz big nao!
Dis bebbee kitteh rivals Dr. Tinycat for teh kyootest kitteh in teh world award.
STAWP! in teh naym uv luv . . .
before we need teh mop.
I can cownt fybe! Looke Mah, I maed it dis far on de countin chart in kittehgardin!
Smrt and byootiful.
Oh, hai! Ur catnip maus? Habbent seened it.
No, I not layin on topp uv it, srsly.
Oh bebeh kitteh, puts ur starfish paw awai and let meh hold u.
Heym wat’s dat rumbly noise cumin frum insyde ur liddle bodee?
Yor rite! It duz luk liek a starfish.
Sownd liek dat liddel bodee is PURRIN.
*luks, then luks away kwikly*
Don’t luk, gremlin!!! Just taeks teh teenie tinee peek!!!
Gremlin, I’z fraid fur u. Dis iz a bery dangerous bebeh.
.
If u get close enuff to hear teh music cumin frum insyde,
just visualizing teh big paw and teh cute face,
cud be dissassterouss.
This is proof dat our frots reely do hab power.
{{{{{{{gremlin,Janet,Romeow}}}}}}}}
I has teh extra speshull happee lubs dis morneeng!
{{{{{{kafleen}}}}}}
Ai must go now. Won’t be bak til veree veree layte. Sorree to miss yoo an awl the fun.
There U R!
I frot I herd u marching round heer sumware!
Do not haz a sad, kafleen. Whut wuz yor speschul happeh lub abowt today?
We can be happeh wif yoo – an Janet wil shorley be bak when she kan.
{kafleen}
I has menneh happees latellee….
all mah speshul thots an messujes and feelins are now beein creatively
channelled…I is writin! Lots ub puzzul peeces bee startin to fit togeddur!
Hai how you fixed for CHRG (wdoi)? We cud have draing party? I draws de ponies and kittehs, flutterbys and humminbirds.
Ooh, sownds wunnerful! Heerz a cuppla playn CHRG’s – wud yoo put sum pritteh pikshoors on dem? I lubs kittehs, flutterbys an humminbirds espeschully. An flowers.
Wuns yor dun, jus put ‘em bak on teh CCC. *wayvs paw toward CCC*
Teh uthers will shorly need them laytur!
Kthxbai!
The kitteh iz so kyoot taht itz unbeleevabul. Ai feels an imminint splort comin awn, but Ai will try berry berrrry mush to fite it. Lil kitteh be so kyoot, taht it maikes yoo ferget awl yur trubbles……O Noes!!!!!!!!!!!!……HALP.!!!……….. …………………. SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……….
Smawl kitteh, big hart.
OOOoohh meez Goodnesses Chesirekitteh. Iz zees de splortz butz nevers haz ta cumz to da rescuz. Triez to do tis rite. Sitz stills donz wantz to miz anyfing here. If sumone elz cums by Iz juz helpzin. Pat pitty pat de bwains. Duck Tayp??? Dat stuf iz imposible to gets off. Iz dat why wii uz it? Tippity Tape. Hugs and kisses. Hopz I didn furgetz nutin.
Yew did awl yew cud London.Onlee tyme will tell nao,on how teh recubberee is goin.
Gud job yew wuz arownd.Well dun.
Hab a martoonie an sum chokklit tew halp yew deel wib teh trawma.
Yew erned it.
OOOoohh Meez goodnesses agin. Furgotz de hot chocaliz an de blankiz. Plez felinez beterz an un blankie…supr sof…onliez gotz de beige. Nic an biggerz thogh.
wul Iz don uzully drinks but dis splort stuf iz makin meez tink bout dat. Durnz only gotz de rubin alcahal. Mindz meez to stok up fur I temps nodder splort repare.
Fank yunz Tidmum! Iz werz scerd. Iz tinkin Iz culd reely uz a mooteeni rite bout nowz. Sluuurpz! OOops Sluurpz canz hep iz tooz gud. *deep breathing* (relaxation exercisez) tinks da shakz iz gon naos.
O hai allz. *wayvs*
Thx fower al teh niec kommntz, ai rly lieks an presiaet tehm awl.
Kthxbai.
Tank yew, London. Ai owes yu big tyme. Feelin mush better naow, awlmost lik normul, whutever taht iz. Yu iz trooly mai Heroe adn Rescuuuer. So grate to has teh faythful cheezfrendz cloesbye. (((((((((((((((((London)))))))))))))))))))) XXXXX
Yep yep yep! I wuz lukinz fur da CCC anz awl I culd see wus meez meez meez. Didn furget nuttin did I? Evryting in plas? Awl de senses r der? Okey dokey. Diz CHCH iz makin meez grown up. suposz to do dat? Dis liek lief en da fasterz lane.
Ai fyne rite naow adn recovvured frum the SPLORT. Ebberyting will be ok until teh nex time a too kyoot kitteh picshure cums along, probly in the nex few sekonds. Mebee Ai will get mai boi’s ole Eagulls futbawl helmit, wich iz aroun hear somplaise, adn ware it next tyme, until teh CC wagun, or you, comes along. Ai doan hav eny CHRG here, becuz Ai am a Newbee …….*blush* ….. ..YAY LONDON YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kthxbai.
kthx london! super splortz here, doo to kitteh tow fetish1 is not secret from mai kittehs- zeek hases teh blakk liddle toeses an obiwan has teh luvvliest liddle pink toeses..
yay! do comez bak wen we seez u agen London! u haz gud tiem ferr us kthxbai. LOL no nawt gone yet. juss wantz 2 see London goez 2 london wen???? nobudy noes. k London haz gud tiem fer us! wez be missing u! Mugglemary obiwan?? wut iz dat? teh shud haz gud tiem fer all of us who r nawt gonna see London till next winter…
bwing us bak sumfing!