I tell you story of
teh bukkit
it all started with a lolrus…
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: morrigan
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Lolsealz? Hmm… Lolrus is lejendery!
congrats on nawt sekond!
Hmm… Naow, wot danz does lolrus do?
Him danz to teh Beetles “Iam teh lolrus”
Gooo gooo gooo joob.
ekspert tekspert joking smoaker doncha tink teh joker laffs at yoo.
yus, good dans!
*dansez wif lolrus*
Congarats, callista! I dunno bout lolruses danzin but seals duz teh hula…
I tink dey must danz under watter. On land dey iz kinda klutzy, but in teh watter tey iz laik sink rinized swimmin teamz.
ai wuz finkin in da watter, dey und…dunul…wavez theirselfz back and forth liek hula?
Dat is myoosic too mah eers!
*runs too put on uglee flower topped rubber swim cap and holds nose and
divees in off teh board!*
“Hey! No Donkees in teh pool!”
ekskuze me 4 beein nooby but wut r nawt sekond?
Yes. Teh legend of teh bukkit. Wif teh legendaree:
King Lolonidus! wif his battle bukkitermoli! he fot 10000 angree zoo keeprz n won, till teh magik manager come an took hiz bukkit. Now hiz gost must has revengez!
Once upon a tyme there was a lolcat of the sea, who had a beautiful blue bukkit. Or was it a red one . . it’s been so long I can’t remember.
and den sumwon tooked it and painted it yello…
Mai mommy toald me it wuz red. An tehn lolrus wuz lukkin 4 bukket…
an teh lil blonde gril wif piggy tales halpd him wif hiz inqur… inquizi… teh newz himz needed foar him quest.
mai mommy toald mii i shud b wel-red, liek teh lolrus!
iz bin a diffumukult studie!
One day, yoo will tell teh tale to *yur* pups, and then they tells *theirs*.
The story must never be forgotten, my son….
*snff* Dey boff look so sad!! Iz terribull sad storee!
An one dey, all teh lolruses, an all teh lolsealz too, will has a bukkit to callz their bery own, an no stoopy hommins will takes it way frum tehm.
lolol
vey nise.
i like it lotsnlots.
Long, long ago, in a lolkingdom far far away, lived a lolrus and his bukkit…
And then the hoomans took his bukkit!
“NO!” cried the lolrus
“THEY B TAKIN MAH BUKKIT!”
Awww, teh babeh is already sad. He knows teh bukkit saga not be ending well.
emo seals are emo
when out in public
it’s pure humiliation
for tammy faye’s kids
Big LOLseal: “4-skoar an elebenty yeerz ago, owr 4-fadders losted teh bukkit. Eber sinse, dere is a lejind… a lejind of a kitteh hoo will bring us bak teh bukkit; an dis hee-ro’s naym iz…”
Bebbeh LOLseal: “Aw Dad, dis storee sux. Kin I go play Wii?”
ai am senszing an artik theem…
icy your point
but it snow problem
Dat’s cold! If it borkt, igloo it bak togedder…
*hagrid lol seal whispers* you’re a selkie, harry…
here’s yer fishal lettah from Lolwarts wif teh fishul seal ob uprooval on the bak.
Pup: “I heard dis sooooo menny times an still no get it. Wy teh lolrus didnt jus go buy anuther bukkit? Jeez.”
They dun’t sellz bukkets 2 lolrus. Dey ownlee kalls teh zoo an asks if dey be missin a lolryus…
lolrus knot hab a monee tu bi a bukit. kno poketz.
I wept because I had no pockets;
‘Til I met a lolrus that had no bukkit.
Yea, teh look on that pup’s fase is like
“o dear gawd, not the bukkit storie AGAIN…”
The One Bukkit, To Rule Them All
and in the water bind tehm
lotr FTW
dis pictyoor akshully Beorn an Frodo in disguyz.
LOLtr?
not all those bukkits who wander are lost
could be the bukkit whisperer?
Sealed wif a kiss. :@
“teh thyme has cume,” teh lolrus sed…
“to tawlk ob menny fingz…”
2 speek ob menny fings,
ob bukkit-bails an ceeling cats
an toothsum littel snailz
An whi teh see is biling hawt
An wedder pigs haz wingz
“… And then the lolrus looked for his blue bukkit–”
“But, Mom!”
“Don’t interrupt, sweetie. And then the lolrus looked and looked, but–”
“Mo-om!”
“Honey, do you want me to stop telling you the story?”
“Mom, the bukkit’s behind you. The blue thing? You tell this same story every single time Uncle Lolrus comes over. It’s right there!”
“…”
“Can I go play?”
“No. Go to your bukkit.”
a movver’s lot iz nawt a eezi won!
to da toon ob Gill igunz Aisle
now sit rite bak adn you’ll heer a tale,
a tale of a bukkits’ trip
it started out in Lolrus’ heart
and then from him was ripped…
its first trip was in a moving van
how it got dere, we’re nawt shure
disappeared as teh turists at Sea Whirled
tooked a 3ree hour toor… a 3ree hour toor…
*sudden modulashun up haf step*
*cue thundah*
teh wether startid gettin ruff
teh tinee van wuz tos’t
if nawt fer teh courij of the Esme kat
teh bukkit wuud be lawst… teh bukkit wud be lawst…
(modulayte up nudder hafstep)
*DMarie, i fink you hasta pik it up frum heres, ‘k?*
Mais Oui!
mmmmmmmmm
holdonnnnnnnnnnnn
Gotcha!
as mais oui slowlee slides off piano bench….
Hao wuz lessins toodai?
wuz onna liddul brake, nao
werkin on teh Titanik wif a student.
so, to anser kweschun , nawt a total disaster.
brb
Cool. I werkin wif mai yungest dotter on her arias. Needs pronun… prenou… help sayin teh Eyetalian and Gurmun wurds riet.
Yoo can doo that, too?
Ai wish ai were there – that iz wun ov mai speshuteez! (ai ebben gotted payed munnies fur it!!)
She has “lazy diction” and asked for help, since she is home for spring break from university. Poor girl. She’s a mathematics major with a minor in vocal performance, and is also a nationally ranked field hockey goalkeeper. Such a slacker. I don’t know what I’m going to do with her.
ai haz a Master’s degree in voyce, yoo know – wif further studee at the Mozarteum in Salzburg. Just sayin.
WOW!!! though. Sum dotter. (got that wun???- a slite variashun)
But – how izzit that YOO can halp hur. HOO ARE YOO REELEE, MAUS!!!??
Hmmm. . .wai doo ai haz teh feline taht there iz sumwun heer hoo duzznt much care fu mee??
Just an average dude…
SPRING BREAK???? It’s still winter!!!
nawt just yoo. TLV detekted.
Correction: “Mid-Semester Break”.
ooh dat sounds epic
avatar finly werked, but ay no laik…….. eye praktis some moar
oops, alreddy tooked out teh not so good wun……. whew…….. disregard
oooooh i wuv it!! (the abatar)
jamamakitty – I do nawt know what yoo had fur choizees, but ai think taht wun luks reelllee prittee.
fanks!! ai laik teh detail. sum ob dem hard to see……… don know wai it wuz so hard to figure out, but sum instrucshuns are beddar dan odders and we awl noes about weirdpress.
oh an aye mus humbly thank D Marie 4 her gud strushuns on cheezfrenz!!
Minor in vocal perf and major in math?? That seem bakwerds to mee.
What arias ar shee werking awn???
the onlee fing- teh kitteh luks alittul sad. here, i pets it.
liddul tickle on for’d tween eyes, little scratch behind teh eerz
ah, datz bettah.
Um… I would have to look in her books. Her intonation and production is fine (even with a cold). I know enought German and Italian to correct her consonant pronunciation and breathing choices.
breathing choices. Yoo haz mai entyre admirashun. Yoo know what iz imortant.
Oar important. Boff gud.
well, dats a lil surreal. i am imajining a sad little kitteh singing italian wif a code in teh nose…
LOLZ!!!! LOLZ!!! Sum thread!!!
What – nobuddee??
Well, that’s funny/interesting. She has a really great “dark” intonation that she uses in one of her new songs. It makes you want to crawl in a corner and cry. Good stuff from my “Baby”.
ai fink we has a faylure to cummunicait!! but teh kitteh laiked teh skritch an says mrrrrrrrrrrrr purrrrrrrrrrrrrr
LOLZ sum moar!!! ai just red thru it again. Tehre’s a best cellar lurking in heer sumwhere!!
apologeeeeeez fur stompin on teh tred
Yoo dint doo it, jamamakitty – ai did.
Maus = Iffit maeks yoo want to crawl intoa corner an crai, then shee iz reelee doing it rite! That iz what ebreewun wants to be able to do.
So nice to hav a “Baby” you ar so proud ov – spehullee fur an average dude!!
I know. She is also a “belter” (her first love). She can raise the hairs on the back of your neck (remember June Allyson in “The Glenn Miller Story?) with some of her Broadway stuff.
ai don fink speshul kittlins cum from abberage dooooooods!! taiks speshul folkses!! ai suspec tat wut we’re deeelin wit heeer
Not ebree wun can “belt.” Ai cudn’t – but then – we also weren’t allowed to!
Ai suspekt it too, jamamakitty!!!
Bai teh wai, that wuzn’t finished – but suddenlee it wudn’t let me speek!! Ai wuz going to say – it dependz what kind ov singer yoo ar wanting to bee. If shee wantz to do mewsikuls – then it cuddn’t bee bedder.
She is an “Equal Opportunity Over-Achiever”. PhD Math (very likely), Opera, Broadway, (Pro or CT), Coach, etc., etc., etc. Exhausting and exhilarating and…
Duz she sing Fantien’s song frum Les Miz? a belters pairodice!!
Eponine’s is also grate – purrhaps mai favorite! Ai can relayte! *sniff*
Verree old noos – but still – *sniff*
Yoo ar wun lukki average dude, Maus!!!
Yes. But she (and I) have a soft spot for “When I Look At You” from The Scarlet Pimpernel. She also has a good feel for Fiona in “Brigadoon”. And “How Will I Ever Know” from The Secret Garden. And…
ai know teh hour iz verree layte. . but befoar ai go, ai just wanted to say. . yoo has dun it again, Maus. I think. Sumwhere, ai am still lying in a now dustee heep.
*donkee lissunning verrrreh qwiutlee frum behind teh door,
wiff verreh big eyes and teh huge admirashuns fur all dis
talunt!!!*
Yikes!!! I don’t know The Scarlet Pimpernel!! This is the part where ai always get Brett, my Theatre Director (former – fur mee – he stil izzit). Brett knew (knows) ebree musical ever writtin and has the DVD – offen pyrate. Amaizing!!
Brett wuz the wun hoo told me he knew awl about the 60s becuz he had taken a corse in it in collej!!!
O hai, Kafleen!!! When ai’m dun heer, ai’m gonna send yoo a letter.
Maus – waye heer – I’m off to fetch sumthing. Bee rite bak.
*sigh* cudn’t find it. Mebbee another tiem. An now – ai must go to bed. Gud nite, Maus.
Kafleen – leter in teh morning. Ai’m suddenlee fayding. ;_)
G’nite, friend.
Oh, Janet!!!
<3 <3 <3
Heer I wuzz feelin bad caws i not been on heer, an beein feeling
a littul pleh, and been NEEDIN too rite too u reelee bad, and
wunderrin if I wuzzunt fur sum dum reesun, ….and I wuz lookin
fur u and der u r, sayin hi and sayin yull rite.
{{{{janet}}}}}}
psst…doan fade fur long.
YIKES!
I MENT too say, and wunderrin if U wur wunderin if I wuzzunt fur
sum dum reesun….
“Our chief weapon is suprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…”
Noboddee expeks teh spanish inquishun!
Ha! Then we’ll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch…THE CUSHIONS!
Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch…THE COMFY CHAIR!
Now — you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven.
Is that really all it is?
I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess, woman. Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess!
I CONFESS!
Well I’m going to have one final fling before I leave, so I sentence you to be burnt at the stake.
Ta!
mornin, Maus!
I misst teh burning at teh steak; Ai wen to bed earlee (but didna tell n e bodee I was going – yestirdai wuz a lawng day – pleh)
Teh steak wuz much nommyness. Sry yoo missded it.
Then Esme saw teh bukkit flyin past her in teh wind
reech-ed owt, snagged it in, And guards it well
Til teh Lolrus comes to call
To end his quest, reunited at last
Here in Mitee Esme’s Hall
win! iwuz wundrin how i could end teh saga…
Sorry it took me so long to answer your page…. it took me 97 minutes to drive teh 14 miles from werk to hoam, so I was a little late loggin in to ICHC.
noes…i wuz tikkled you took up the relay baton thingy! sry bout your drive…
Don’t dat make u mad?
I keeps a book in teh car an sneeks looks.
more, aye wants more, more more!!
frist ob awl teh commintz inna rong plais!! second aye feels stoopie on a counta one, two …….. oh nebber mind …………. aye see dat D Marie continued teh story. eye fink ay’m tired.
here, hab som Tom Bombadil tonic water from the otter thred…
ai needz it, fanks!
cheers! *clinsks bowsl*
Presented here in its entirety, without the Spanish Inquisition:
to da toon ob Gill igunz Aisle
now sit rite bak adn you’ll heer a tale,
a tale of a bukkits’ trip
it started out in Lolrus’ heart
and then from him was ripped…
its first trip was in a moving van
how it got dere, we’re nawt shure
disappeared as teh turists at Sea Whirled
tooked a 3ree hour toor… a 3ree hour toor…
*sudden modulashun up haf step*
*cue thundah*
teh wether startid gettin ruff
teh tinee van wuz tos’t
if nawt fer teh courij of the Esme kat
teh bukkit wuud be lawst… teh bukkit wud be lawst…
(modulayte up nudder hafstep)
Then Esme saw teh bukkit flyin past her in teh wind
reech-ed owt, snagged it in, And guards it well
Til teh Lolrus comes to call
To end his quest, reunited at last
Here in Mitee Esme’s Hall
Yay, Esme! Orange chew glad i did awl dat reesruch & skribbuled in teh noatbuk?
We needz this in a beeg frayme hangin awn ar wall!!!!
Doo wii hav a wall???
Ai cud doo this in counted cross stich – wif a byootiful bordure an long frinj awn the bottom. Wud be byootifull!!
ai akshullee did “Tehm Moose Goosers” fur a frend wunz – bout 2 1/2′ bai 5′ + 8″frinj. amaizes ebreewun!!! From afar – luks elegant – then yoo getz cloaser. . .
“T3h Bukkitt iz
wunndrurrfull contaynurr frum
Arktik Manatee
“Manatee slippt froo
a hoal andz fowndz Bukkitt
full ubz yummee feesheez
“Manatee eeted
t3h feesheez. Den dunnkt T3h
Bukkitt 4 sum moar
“T3h Bukkitt filldz ryte
upz. Sune awll t3h Lolrussez
hadz enuff 2 eetz
“Den wun sadz day T3h
Bukkitt dissuppeered. It iz
owrr jawb 2 fyndz it
“T3h Bukkitt iz bloo
andz coodz beez enneewayrz. Dis
is owrr haolee kwest
Wii fyndz it wun Day.
Den awll t3h Lolrussez will
beez happee andz fed”
Jack.
i nomnomnominatate Jack Deth fer teh nom-bell praiz in loetry!
dat iz a bee-yu-ti-full storee. i goez luk for bukkit naow?
An instant classik!!
gib himz a gold buket and 10,000 bukx in burgerthing cooponz
O lil seal/lolrus whatevs, him lukin sew saaaad.
Eye bies him nu bukkit ne day.
Ganguro-rus
kunta kinte, behold, teh onlee ting graeter dan yoo…teh bukkit.
Teh bukkit taht startd it awl…
TEH EPIC PAIL!!!!!111111
No one has menshund the epic kewt in the piksher.
Mamah an Bebeh!!!1!
luks liek teh storree ov teh bukkit! poor bebee seel lolrus!
so… they just takes it?! just like that?!
Behbeh seel habs much sads! Scaird himz bukkit bii taken next. Oh noes!
Little seel look like it say, “uhhhh…i noe wunna heer bowt dat dum ole bukkit agin!!”
I wunna heer abowt teh bloody hook murder!”
Behbeh seel is scared dat hiz bukkit will be taken…and murdered!
Behbeh seel: Mah bukkit b stealed!!!! NOESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
NO! NAWT TEH WALRUS! IT WILL DESTROY TEH WURLD!