I LOOOOOOOVE that song!!!!!!!!!!

I wish dey haddint waystid R tyme an munneez onnit. Nao we NNEDS a imp eech mint, an if it starts, da Repugnikins wood be awl “O, dis is paybak, waaaaaahhhhH!!!!!!” An I dun wanna heer it! A BJ duzzint kill towzins uv peepul!

An nowadayz da big Farmasuitikls wants us to buy der prawduk insted uv home remideez dat wurk beddar, an nowun in da govt wants us to feel nice unless it’s by yoozin a depressint liek alkyhawl. (“Instint asshole” I cawls it!) An we has to mennee peepuls, so peepul wif cansur an uvver stuff needa jus die insted uv be able to eet an feel normal aftur der cansur treetments, an maybee survyve it….

It wood be a grayt taxable sorse, an redoos da numbrs in prizun, so we sayv a munnee der too…

R
“Kids aynt buyin frum me no moar, dey’s gettin drugses owt uv da medisin cabnit at home” So nao yur sayin Grannee’s in AlKayda? Doood, whudeber yor smokin, yoo shood shayr!

An yo gots Mr Been, an Monty Pyfon, an den yoo get into da ol tym stuff, much win!

We kno, we seez dem heer aftur yoo gots! Plus, yoo kin sumtiemz get da weerd Fronsh teebee and da sawsee Jurmin teebee!

If wuzzint fur BBCAmurka, I’d hab nuffin to do awl day but kleen howse an play on heer wiff yoo guys!

Ov corse, in teh former Soviet Repooblic of East Kittehstan, teh joint rolls u.

http://www.offworlddesigns.com/p-28-catnip.aspx

udderwyze, kitteh r hai

o
HAI!

Mai riting iz quite diffrunt frum yurs. Mai talunt iz adapting storees fur the stage. But ai can awnlee doo thingz that ar ritten so awl the dialogue is there. Ai cannawt maek dialogue up. Just cant doo it.

Ai wish yoo cud hav seen mai “Wind in teh Willows.” an mai Christmas Carol haz had over a hundred performances – moast in mai theare, ov corse, but sum in otters. An mai “Animal Farm” – ai dint doo it from scrratch – but teh script in hand wuz – ai thot – quite inadequate – so ai “fixed” it – rather extensivlee. Peeple in teh audience were akshulle SOBBING wehn Boxer wuz taken away.

ai havn’t quite been ebreewhere, but . . .well – when yoo live in Yurp liek ai did fur so long, it’s eezee. But – ai guess – TEKNICALLEE eneway, yoo did/do too – but ai nebber thing ov teeneetineeIngerland as Yurp.

Ai hav libbed in Stuttgart, Salzburg, Heidelberg, Karlsruhe, Antignano (just souf ov Livorno), Kitzingen (neer Wuerzburg) and tehn Stuttgart again.

An ai hav been eggstreemlee lukky to hav frenz hoo ask mee to go awn trips wif them. Tehy doo awl teh planning – an ai just getz to go along. An pay mai share, ov corse. Tho wunz a fren gibbed mee a cruiz awn the Nile fur mai birfday. ai cud count awn wun hand teh trips ai hav taken taht ai had to plan!!!

Eben now – these last too trips. Mai frend Lorine got awl the concert an opera tikkets fur Florida – ai just had to get there. an tehn just go where they went!

An in Ireland, Michael an Jennifer got teh B&B an found teh bus tikkets – an Michael met mee at teh airport so ai dint hav to trai to get to teh B&B bai maiself.

Maeks it awl reelee eeze, to say teh leest.

( it’s for medicinal purposes, really. kitty has kittens, so it’s for her sanity )

an eye deed ryte teh werdz 4 ewez
b coz ob u sayinz u wanna sit dawn n crai.
eye fort wud be comfawtin wedz 4 ewe.

’twas nawt fur nuthing taht ai hav been to India fiev tiems! Ai hav been to teh Temple ov the Rats in – where it is – an hav fed teh liddle rats – hav even seen teh white rat, which is rare. Wuz a moast kyoot thing when two liddle rats were fiting – akshullee standing awn their hind legs an boxing!!! sumone sayed must bee former naybors wif auld grujes.

An ai hav been to teh beeh Jain tempul – veree byootiful. An ai am suwhat Jain-liek in that ai cannawt kill eben bugs. an teh tempul to – o whatshernayme – teh goddess ov lerning, where the preetz did a speshul serviss just fur us – an ai gotted a holy coconut. (ai no, sounds silleh – an is starting to smell a bit).

Well – akshullee ai hav been to tons ov temples. Teh best – which we cud nawt go into, nawt being Hindu – wuz the beeg temple in Guruvayoor -but we were taken to a neer by rooftop, where we cud look in frum above – an was astonsishing – to see teh tempul eleefants werking in awl their fineree, wif the preets stanging awn their baks.

Ai think yoo must bee a speed reeder leik mai sister Pyzi, hoo reedz at leest twice as fast as ai do. But ai liek to savor the werds. (no insult intendid – ai expect yoo savour them too. But – that’s a lot ov reeding!!

Yoo rote it speshullee fur mee??? Ai feel silleh saying taht. That cannawt bee what yoo meen.

Yoo hav a majik taht ai do not possess. Ai cud open maiself up to ceilingcat til teh cows cayme hoem (to get bak to erth fur a minit) but nebber wud werds leik this come to mee. But ai am so verree happee that yoo has them an will share them wif mee.

hmmmm – ai am now . . .quite. . .ai – hoo, az yoo may hav noticed, under nermal sercumstances haz no trubble speeking – ai’m . . .well – deeplee tuched. Nawt reeelee what ai meen, but as cloase as ai can come fur now.

what yoo rite, gibbocat, iz so byootiful taht ai can hardlee bear it.

An what yoo say iz what ai hoep to bee troo. It seems taht it can hardlee bee otterwize, bt – ai reelee onlee werree – well – ai donut – at this time, eneway, want to lose maislef in this n er g!

Did yoo rite this yerself? (an ai dont meen teh typing!!) An – too complicayted, ai noe. Sumtiem, can you giv mee a short vershun ov your path to this belief?

datz luvlee. choo roted it?