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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Zekermeme on FIZICKS kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Kiya on Dis iz as far owt of bed caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… HistoryMaker on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Grantski on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… PootyTat on I iz in ur space-time continuu… PootyTat on I iz in ur space-time continuu…
befoar dey lerns it own teh street…
JCH4K Boolevard
“adn hey, let’s be careful out there…”
Hill Street Blues!
hai, Mary, House of Spock! Congratumalations on yur nawt sekond!!! I thoughts you wuld be in the regeneration chamber, visiting Pierce Brosnan
*ahem*
doan wurree. wii woan telz ur hubbee type fing!!1
oh an btw
eye furgitz teh muztidz!! mai bad ( oar shud taht be ‘mai bud’? )
congrats on nawt second!!
yew cin get anyting yew want at Alice’s restaurant
exceptin alice
puff puff!
kitteh not so gud look sittin on teh narrow binch with 10×8 color glossies!!
puff puff
nom nom
puff puff
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
hey maaaaaaaaan, kin we dans later? ai’m tyred
after teh smokee cums teh Muncheees
Nom nom nom nom nom *burp* nom ……..nom nom nom…….
I can haz doritos?
How mennee bagz joo want?
*Rustle,crinkle,crinkle..*
Ai gotz elebenty bagz ,awl flavurz…
wee fur madnes
Is teh funnee 2 reefer 2 it taht wai!
ai gnoe wot ur wee furrin 2.
but am u gonna bogart taht awl nyte???
I’d light it, but I’m not s’posed to play with matches.
mebbeh wii shud put eet een a cukkee??
nomm nomm
Teh brownees wif teh ’speshul ingreejunt’ u meen?
doan heet ju az hawd, but eet lass awl nyt lawng!!
nao eye juss wanna lay hear an lissen to teh cozmic purrr…..
In SoCal, we gets da medikul nips, an can haz in eedibul kinz uv stuff. Wee wuz awl in dire medikal need dis weeken, so we had sum reeellee good noms, an wen to da moobees. Mayd “Jumper” a barable moobee to watch! It’s nawt reellee abowt a guy in a swedder, tho….
Y’all makin me nustallgi….nostail….nostallji… remembrin my yunger days. Ooowee, we had sum funs. Uh oh, I’m havin a flashbak, I finkso. Oh, maaaaaan…far out!
ooh, Tidmum, d00d! Fanks so mush! yoo rawk!
Ai’ve brung sum drinks – lotz ov soda, jooces and beerz.
Mebbe we can joyn teh kitteh in the “Shh!” thread and watch us sum teevees
Cooooooooooll.
Letz watch sum gud stuff -nawt teh Crap on Ingerlish teebee.
Teh kitteh et teh remote in teh invizzible chess thread therby gibbin us Crap on Crap off.HeeeeeeeeeWheeeeeeeeee
Bagz ai hab teh nawt sekkund snorgle wib teh beyootiful bebeh kitteh.
Yoo watchin rong channul, dooooood! Ingerlish teebee iz home to Dr Woo-hoo, Torchwood, Hao Kleen is Yor Howse, Dancin on Ice wif da Starz Prizner Sell Blawk Aitch, Coronashun Stweet, Hamish MkBeff, Whooz Lion izzit NEway, Eddee Izzard, Alan Rickman, Hairee Potter, Bond, Medeevil Baebes, Da Fast Sho, Da Mitee Boosh, etc etc!
We kno, we seez dem heer aftur yoo gots! Plus, yoo kin sumtiemz get da weerd Fronsh teebee and da sawsee Jurmin teebee!
If wuzzint fur BBCAmurka, I’d hab nuffin to do awl day but kleen howse an play on heer wiff yoo guys!
Ooh! I furgzwt NEfing wif or by Dawn Fronch!! Clatterford, AbFab (I wuz awn a cultchral eschaynj wif mai fren: Amurka gawt AbFab, an TeeneeTineeIngerlan gots us 2 fur a cuppla weeks! Eever way, 2 crazee chiks awna playn, much fun!)
An yo gots Mr Been, an Monty Pyfon, an den yoo get into da ol tym stuff, much win!
Oh, I luvs Dawn French! French and Saunders and teh Comic Strip Presents! I guess that was a long time ago. Is Dawn French still doing funny stuff?
Hao bout sum Cheech & Chong moovees?
FTW!!!
Dave’s not here, man!
Concatchumalayshuns Mary.
Be tehr a danse?
fanks!
i aer flummoxed on teh ideas fur dancin. you guys starts, adn i joins in!
I tinks the kitteh in dis pikshur and hiz friends may be too wasted to dance. I tinks dey just wants to sits around and admires the awesum colors dey sees.
aye, i fink dey wented
♫ ♪ ♫
one toke ober teh line sweet cheeses,
one toke ober the line…
♫ ♪ ♫
U iz brilliant, mary o’! Win!!!
ebberee buddee muss git stownd ♪
I tink de kittehs be giggling alots, too.
Unless they gets on crack, then they’ll takes their little baseball bats and beats up peoples….lets hope the brave and troo kitteh cops gets dem off da streets, and da bleeding hart liberal kitteh-judges doesn’t just put dem back on da streets….now we has a kitteh Laws and Orders program!
Las danse wif Mareejayn…
eye fawt spydaman lookt kyna ‘bug eyed’!!
It wuz jus sumfin he fownded inna invalope sumwehrze—-
Ratz!! Dis wuz ‘pozed to be bai Jamamakitty’s – Alice’s Restaurant…
Dat reminds me… Ize hungri.. Aneebodee gotz anee muncheez?
nuffin ens up wair sposed to be……….. iz kinda goofy
Juss cum rietin, iz rownd da bak
Justa haffa miel fwum da RR trakz
in ur homz, steelin ur secrt stush
Godd greef, Mary!! Dis is a fine nawt-second yoo haz gottn yerself into!!
Congratz shew layshuns!!
aint dat de truf!
iffinz yu nont talk to yr kittiez ‘bowt katnip, WHO WILL!?!?!?
Just say meow.
MEOW
Don’t bogart that joint, dude!
just say OH to drvgs
( it’s for medicinal purposes, really. kitty has kittens, so it’s for her sanity )
Teach himz to just say no to catnipz
“Jus’ say ‘AarrghaarrghpleeassennononoUGH!”
Yey! Detritus FTW
Kitteh needs to get on the “One Step” Program.
Cuz Detritus won’t let him make one wrong step!
whut? kitteh is usin’ slab?
Dis kitteh lieks to rock!
Uh…dat dun look liek ‘nip to meh…
Before you gib hims teh catnip – becaws he wont be lissening afterwards…
zip
zing
herd of elephants
Duzzint belong to hym. Hez jus holdin it 4 sumone else… Srsly.
drug kitteh
OHai rasta man, yoo smawk too mush
luk de ais awl be delaited, mon, you mus be sharon not be stingee wit de nip
Hard wurk good, an hard wurk fyne, but furst tek keer uv hed!
Invisible cigarette lighter…
Marlene Dietrich wanna-be kitteh
eye cawnt haaaalp eeet!! ♪
Walter doz drugz nd u ain’t gonna do it wit em!
I wonder if they have rehabs for cats…
*Tehy tryed to mayke me go to we-hab*
*an ai sed MEOW MEOW MEOW*
♫
♫
You don need we-hab for mawawana loz , for teh crack yes, but not the weed, plus we-hab is only for the hoo-mans
Jus sit down wit a beer a dizguss it wit dem.
do wat i sez nowt wat ai do
sum 1 needz intarvenshun.
y tihs floot duznt maek muzik? duz i play it rong? wer teh holes? wer i puts mai pointee ends? is borked. mite az well sett it on fyre….
Cum on kitteh, lite mah fire.
Doorz, FTW!
Ai haz a Camberwell carrot.
I lurnded it from u dad!
(ohhh those bad PSAs from the 80s. never gonna forget Rachel Leigh Cook smashing her kitchen with the frying pan)
Ai rememmerz dat PSA frum teh 80s or 90s. N teh wun wif teh fryeen pan n teh eggz. Mai nu favrut b teh wun wif teh talkin goggie. If ur goggie talkn tu u liek dat…u can has sum gud drugz!
Drugz is bad, mmmm’kay?
so wait. drugs is bad but if goggies talk to u, den dey good? ok, i just gonna stik to likkin todes.
Da commurshals nao iz da funnee.
“Ef yoo buys drugses, yoo iz halpin AlKayda” Reellee? AlKayda livs in Humbolt cowntee? Dood!
R
“Kids aynt buyin frum me no moar, dey’s gettin drugses owt uv da medisin cabnit at home” So nao yur sayin Grannee’s in AlKayda? Doood, whudeber yor smokin, yoo shood shayr!
No kidn, evree1 frum hypees too grammas are AlKayda akordin 2 ths bull. OMG aye mus b AlKayda!!!
“Dames”
Teh movin’ pikchur ur abowt 2 c mai startl u. It wuld nawt hab bin pawsbl, ovverwyz, 2 suffishuntlee imphasyz teh frytful toll ov teh noo drug menis wich b dstroyeeng teh kitteh of Americat n alarmeenglee increesin nombrs. Mary wanna b dat drug – a vyolint narkotik – an unspeekabl skurj – Teh Reel Publik Enemee Nomber Nawt-Too!
turnin all our chilren into hooligans and hores! it’s reefer madness reefer madness!
P.S. funny how gubmint calls maryjane a narcotic even tho cannabinoids and opiates have completley diffrint kemikal strucshurs, work on diffrint receptors in teh brainz and haz diffrint addikshun profiles. memo from medical community to gubmint: WTF?
Joo ’spex teh gub’mint 2 tellz teh troof? Dreem awn…
Well, Sinclair paynts wantid peepul to buy deyr paynt whut yoozd petroleyum insted uv hemp oyl. An den Herst wantid to yooz da manila paypurr insted uv da hemp paypur fur noosprint, cuz he mayd a war to git da Fillipeens “freed”. (Altho farmrs wuz payd durin WWII to gro hemp fur da war effort!)
An nowadayz da big Farmasuitikls wants us to buy der prawduk insted uv home remideez dat wurk beddar, an nowun in da govt wants us to feel nice unless it’s by yoozin a depressint liek alkyhawl. (”Instint asshole” I cawls it!) An we has to mennee peepuls, so peepul wif cansur an uvver stuff needa jus die insted uv be able to eet an feel normal aftur der cansur treetments, an maybee survyve it….
It wood be a grayt taxable sorse, an redoos da numbrs in prizun, so we sayv a munnee der too…
smoooooooooooofth
Herocat saves stoopy hyoomin frum reefer madness.
Wunners wut hyoomins see in dis stuff.
uh huh. this from an aminul whut takes a species from teh mint falimy, chews it up, spits it out, rolls around in it, liks the leefs outta its fur an then drools all over mah carpetz. I not gettin lekshured on stoopy drugz use by a nip-head.
Makes a differmints wevver u rolls it or rolls in it.
Ov corse, in teh former Soviet Repooblic of East Kittehstan, teh joint rolls u.
kitteh learned dis by watchin u
“BUT I DINNOT INHAYLE!”
an ay deed nawt hav six wif dat … aw well nawt rillee!
An he DINT!!! He wuz rite. Yoo cannawt chaj daffy nishuns ov werds juzt bucuz ! He had – wut was wunz known az – *ahem* hebbee petteeng.
he b doinz bettah werk nao n e waiz!
rillee.
meanwyol teh seegur am ritin himz memwyorz!!!
well – that part wuz a – liddle odd. Awl in awl, ’twas a pitee Monika wuz a blabbermouf. Wehn yoo think about it – thiz otterwiz meeningless (an nawt so rare) episode haz cost hundredz ov thouzands ov livez an neerlee destroyed mai (admittedlee also odd) countree!
Sorree – ai used to nawt care an think they were awl aliek an it dint reelee matter an if ai voated or nawt – dint matter. Nao ai see how dedlee seriuz politikz akhullee aar an ai hav becum an acktivist. Whether it maeks a differenc??? whoo noes – but ai hav to trai.
you go, gurl!
an eye tink iz a gud ting 2!!
moar strengf 2 yor elboe as wii saiz ober hear!!
but eye rilly doo tink taht willum am doon gud werx in teh feeldz ob intynashunal die log – dat he cudna doo b 4 as prizidint.
sew sum gud has cum ob eet.
doan wurree, janetneedeeps !!1
tehr eez a lawng gaem been plaid awt bai teh uniberz.
wii canz du r beet 4 2 halp it alawng bai gibbin lubz an kyness 2 teh whirld.
but am wai deefy kult 4 uz 2 C teh wheel beeg pitchur.
wii awnlee seez teh badniz B coz ob nowin wut gudniz am.
but der b a plaiz wer awl am n er g, wer 4 gibniz roolz
wer planitz am but moatz ob dust
wer awl owa anga n owa lust
am gibben up in lubbin trust
2 danz liek atumz danz wii must
teh uniberz 4 gibz uz awl
teh uniberz am just.
kthxbai
wer planitz am but moatz ob dust
wer awl owa anga n owa lust
am gibben up in lubbin trust
2 danz liek atumz danz wii must
teh uniberz 4 gibz uz awl
teh uniberz am just
datz luvlee. choo roted it?
happee u liek !!
berry much.
*whhhffff* ai think ai just stopped breething tehre fur a bit.
what yoo rite, gibbocat, iz so byootiful taht ai can hardlee bear it.
An what yoo say iz what ai hoep to bee troo. It seems taht it can hardlee bee otterwize, bt – ai reelee onlee werree – well – ai donut – at this time, eneway, want to lose maislef in this n er g!
Did yoo rite this yerself? (an ai dont meen teh typing!!) An – too complicayted, ai noe. Sumtiem, can you giv mee a short vershun ov your path to this belief?
corz eye roat it, janet !
eye opinnd meyeselph up an let ceilincat speek thru mii.
datz teh bess wai ob gettin cloez 2 ur troof.
happee u liekt it.
wuz speshullee 4 U!!1
*Whhfff* Ai just stopped breethin again.
Yoo rote it speshullee fur mee??? Ai feel silleh saying taht. That cannawt bee what yoo meen.
Yoo hav a majik taht ai do not possess. Ai cud open maiself up to ceilingcat til teh cows cayme hoem (to get bak to erth fur a minit) but nebber wud werds leik this come to mee. But ai am so verree happee that yoo has them an will share them wif mee.
hmmmm – ai am now . . .quite. . .ai – hoo, az yoo may hav noticed, under nermal sercumstances haz no trubble speeking – ai’m . . .well – deeplee tuched. Nawt reeelee what ai meen, but as cloase as ai can come fur now.
an teh ressippee ( az eyem gettin ewed 2 handinz owt dem tingz ) iz nawt 2 complimikaytid:
u reedz
teh bhagavad gita;
teh tao te ching;
teh nag hammadi library;
teh diamond sutra;
teh legendz ob quetzalcoatl an such;
teh 4 agreements ( as dat am eezier dan awl teh reesurch into precolumbian texts nowadayz )
teh upanishads ( awl 60 an nawt teh shawtened vershunz )
teh ramayana an if u haz tiem teh mahabarata;
teh tarot 4 a dibershun;
teh I ching ( 4 teh fun ob it! an doan fawgit yor yarrow stix! ))
hao to kno teh kabbala;
an in between tiemz u sitz an humz teh aum
( wun moah tiem wif feeling! )
putz it awl in a beegsum powt an stirz an stirs till awl teh lumps am gawn.
eh, voila, verdad mebbee?
oar u juss maex sumtink up an hoep nobuddy notisis!
O – piece o caek!! Ai haz a start. Ai haz nawt awnlee red teh ramayana and teh mahabhrata, ai haz teh comik buks an teh moobie. Reelee – ai do.
’twas nawt fur nuthing taht ai hav been to India fiev tiems! Ai hav been to teh Temple ov the Rats in – where it is – an hav fed teh liddle rats – hav even seen teh white rat, which is rare. Wuz a moast kyoot thing when two liddle rats were fiting – akshullee standing awn their hind legs an boxing!!! sumone sayed must bee former naybors wif auld grujes.
An ai hav been to teh beeh Jain tempul – veree byootiful. An ai am suwhat Jain-liek in that ai cannawt kill eben bugs. an teh tempul to – o whatshernayme – teh goddess ov lerning, where the preetz did a speshul serviss just fur us – an ai gotted a holy coconut. (ai no, sounds silleh – an is starting to smell a bit).
Well – akshullee ai hav been to tons ov temples. Teh best – which we cud nawt go into, nawt being Hindu – wuz the beeg temple in Guruvayoor -but we were taken to a neer by rooftop, where we cud look in frum above – an was astonsishing – to see teh tempul eleefants werking in awl their fineree, wif the preets stanging awn their baks.
Ai think yoo must bee a speed reeder leik mai sister Pyzi, hoo reedz at leest twice as fast as ai do. But ai liek to savor the werds. (no insult intendid – ai expect yoo savour them too. But – that’s a lot ov reeding!!
aww. an dat am teh abrijd reedin lizt!!
But him sounz liek u bin ebberee wer!! chee sumz!
eye doan hardlee goe noplayz!
mai filosofy am
cleen up ur oan bak yawd b 4 u traipz tru sumbbuddee elsis.
but dats juss mii.
eye awso liex teh chyneez sayin:
tink nawt ob hoo kame b 4 but ob hoo kumz afta.
an eye deed ryte teh werdz 4 ewez
b coz ob u sayinz u wanna sit dawn n crai.
eye fort wud be comfawtin wedz 4 ewe.
Yoo meen – yoo don’t laik to travel???
ai havn’t quite been ebreewhere, but . . .well – when yoo live in Yurp liek ai did fur so long, it’s eezee. But – ai guess – TEKNICALLEE eneway, yoo did/do too – but ai nebber thing ov teeneetineeIngerland as Yurp.
Ai hav libbed in Stuttgart, Salzburg, Heidelberg, Karlsruhe, Antignano (just souf ov Livorno), Kitzingen (neer Wuerzburg) and tehn Stuttgart again.
An ai hav been eggstreemlee lukky to hav frenz hoo ask mee to go awn trips wif them. Tehy doo awl teh planning – an ai just getz to go along. An pay mai share, ov corse. Tho wunz a fren gibbed mee a cruiz awn the Nile fur mai birfday. ai cud count awn wun hand teh trips ai hav taken taht ai had to plan!!!
Eben now – these last too trips. Mai frend Lorine got awl the concert an opera tikkets fur Florida – ai just had to get there. an tehn just go where they went!
An in Ireland, Michael an Jennifer got teh B&B an found teh bus tikkets – an Michael met mee at teh airport so ai dint hav to trai to get to teh B&B bai maiself.
Maeks it awl reelee eeze, to say teh leest.
proobz u haz mennee frenz hoo lubz u mushlee!
O – furgot to say. Comforting? tehy were dazzling! The wurds. . .
ai meen.
Mai riting iz quite diffrunt frum yurs. Mai talunt iz adapting storees fur the stage. But ai can awnlee doo thingz that ar ritten so awl the dialogue is there. Ai cannawt maek dialogue up. Just cant doo it.
Ai wish yoo cud hav seen mai “Wind in teh Willows.” an mai Christmas Carol haz had over a hundred performances – moast in mai theare, ov corse, but sum in otters. An mai “Animal Farm” – ai dint doo it from scrratch – but teh script in hand wuz – ai thot – quite inadequate – so ai “fixed” it – rather extensivlee. Peeple in teh audience were akshulle SOBBING wehn Boxer wuz taken away.
u noe, u can rite 2 mii at ian@ian-gibson.com coz it wud be eesyer tahn fitin wif wierdpress, if u liek. or go bia teh websyt http://www.ian-gibson.com
coz issa strain chayzin bak an fro thru teh thredz awlatiem.
dass iffen u wants to.
wut maiks me prowed he is dat hees dunns so much eben unders the sircumbersomestances. wiis wonte knobe whats a grate guye and polelitickle geanieus he realby is.
Ai am in compleat agreemintz wif yoo, catawba!!
Well, da orijunul definishun uv sodomee inclooded mouf to …parts… An dat still ill eagle in Maryland, Virginia an DC at da tyme he wuz doin dat, so dey cooda got him on dat charj too….
I wish dey haddint waystid R tyme an munneez onnit. Nao we NNEDS a imp eech mint, an if it starts, da Repugnikins wood be awl “O, dis is paybak, waaaaaahhhhH!!!!!!” An I dun wanna heer it! A BJ duzzint kill towzins uv peepul!
I thought the ends of Cigarettes were supposed to be incredibly toxic to cats. Like chocolate toxic.
hmm……toxic chocolate…… that sounds like a heavy metal band
das not right. kitteh gonna get high, den get left low.
Ai’m a jokurr
Ai’m a smokurr
Ai’m a midnyte tokurr
*Plae mai musik
in teh sun*
Next on Cops, a kitteh refuses to give up his dealer…
Maaan… Tehy iz out to get me I swear…
Rastakitteh r feelinz awl-rite
udderwyze, kitteh r hai
o
HAI!
Hai kittie — dont bogart teh joint!
If doezn’t who doez?
http://www.offworlddesigns.com/p-28-catnip.aspx
“Hey, man, i think we’re parked”
Ai wuz gunna mayk a lolcat fer u, but den Ai got hai…
Ai wuz gunna capshun it pritty 2, but den Ai got hai…
Naow Aiz loling at teh screen, an Ai no wai, hay hay…
B cuz Ai got hai, b cuz Ai got hai, b cuz Ai got hai!
I happee, I nawt feelin sad,
I gots sunshyne, inna bag
I yoosless, but not fur lawng
Mai fyoochur iz comin awn….
O. M. G.
I LOOOOOOOVE that song!!!!!!!!!!
Here kitty kitty kitty…
Puff puff pass kitty…
Grrrr!!!
here kitty kitty kitty…
puff puff pass kitty…
GRRRR!!
drug talk kitteh, does kittehnip