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Kitteh car: goes around in a sirkle.
Hooray nawt sekund!!!
Happee dans, happee dans…
We can has Os-car party? We can strut up and down on teh red carpets and say who we is wearing.
Me, I is waring a slinky gown that our own Salleh maded for me. And it’s rilly made outta Slinkies! Tray sheek. Mah shoos, well, since I has teh trubbles wif hites, they is mah Eerth Shoos. But mah tiara made from Slinkies adds a little hite wifout endangering me. I even has a sparkly mask 4 teh occashun!
An I’m hanging in right next to LCB, wearing my body-guarding uniform (looks like a tuxedo, but wif a lawng skirt, slit up teh side so I can walk and run and stuff).
I’m nawt rilly here to purteck LCB from other peepl, I’m here to purteck her frum untinkingly climbin up enny available stair, or ladders, or poles.
Prevention is teh key, here, I tink.
I agrees compleetly.
There is way too many opopoprtewnities for climing up things here. I think that prhaps a group effert by cheezfrens fer guarding the LCB wud be a gud idea.
*whispers*
there is a LOT of very fancy jooolery here too, and very big secyoority gards. we wouldint want anyfing …. unforchewnate …. to happen to teh LCB.
Oh, and I is wearin a discreet yet stylish tuxedo, wif speshully tailored arm for the gears and levers that I seem to have aquired.
I be wearing mah speshal okkassion gears and levers.
But over that I be wearing a byuootiful fur dress (faux, of course) of lustrous gold and orange stripes. My hairpiece look like long white whiskers (with flowers woven in), and I has da glue-on loooonnngggg pointed nails. The dress iz by William Ware Theiss, and iz there fore very low in front (but well-enjineered!) with side slits that require two handsome young men dressed as Star Flett officers (in dress uniform) to walk on either side of me, so da breeze don’t blow open my dress and reveal my b0rg gears and such….
groans ob disappointment frum teh male members ob the audienz ober dat last statement.
Yes…should have finished sentence with “so da breeze don’t blow open my dress and reveal….” THEN, when dey rushes to my aid, I kan surprize dem!
You be very krafty, Mary, House of Spock – I knoes you be part b0rg! What you be wearing to da Oskars 2nite?
Btw, i are dressed retro like Brigitte Bardot, wif a french twist hairdo wif wispy tendrils escaping here adn tehre. She likes savin teh wild kittehs, adn loaned me one ob the rescue cheetahs wich is preceeding me on a diamond encrusted leash/bracelet combo. This is attached to a collar wif emeralds which matches the emerald encrusted necklace i am wearing which brings out the green in our eyes.
here, eberybodee hab a martoonee. it will make me look a lot better! two martoonees will keep you from noticing any b0rg technology. The elegant elbo length satin gloves help, too.
Yes- the young Brigitte wuz qwiite ze sex kitteh! Your outfit sounds Fabulous, and I’m shure the leashed cheetah makes 4 a very dramatic entrance wherevah you goes! Espeshually if da cheetah hisses at da onlookers, and makes okkassional lunges at preyish-looking peoples, biting off small insignificent pieces of dere boddies. Perhaps U can kontains said cheetah, to attacks and bites only dose people wearing the fur of other kreatures!
good idea on the training.
long long time ago in a galaxy far far away i had a boyfren who said i looked like brigitte . (he was a old movie buff- no pun intended)
. or maybe he just mint that i resembulled her; she is a bit of a nut these days i understand. makes moar sense, akshully.
Sumbody sent me an email of stars and how they looked young, and how dey look now (movie stars – not the celestial, self-luminous bodies in da night sky), and Brigitte Bardot wuz one of dem. Showed her as da hot young sex-kitteh, and a really horrible pic of how she looks now. The capshun wuz, “Proof of why we should not become vegetarians.” (Mean, yet funny)
Of course, we all looked better in All Our Yesterdays; my huzband found an old pikshur of me at 18, in a bikini – and it b hot. He say, “wow – where be this girl! I needz to meet her!” I told him that girl haz gone away, and never be comming back. (Akshually, I assimilated her, but huzband duzn’t knoe that word.)
*sighs for lost hot 18 year old self*
BTW ai fort Helen Mirren looked stunning – ai hope ai luks dat good at her age (who am ai kiddin, ai duz nawt look dat good now!)
*sighs for lost hot 28 year old self*
Sumtiem – we shud hav a place where we can post picchures ov ar former hot selves so ebreewun can oooo an ahhhh!
But that wud maek a convenshun difficult, wudn’t it? Peeple wud bee saying – “That wuz YOOOO???? OMG, what HAPPENEDED??
Oh well.
lol, sadlee so troo!!
eye didz taht awn mai webbeesyte – an phelt raver m barrist bowt it rillee. coz iz teh nawt mii nao – kyna fing.
but phelt liek hystry – kien awf.
juss sain… la la
eye goe nao
kthxbai
Reelee – yoo felt barrist bout it?
Ok – ai must confess. ai hav been to yur site. Ai hav seen teh yung yoo, teh (ai think) in teh middul yoo, an teh now yoo. An awl ov tehm luk totalee smashinglee gud. How yoo cud EBBER be barrist about yur luks iz – well – well – iz nawt pawssibul.
Ai wud say moar, but tehn AI wud be barrist, so ai will stop!!
But – now that ai am this far, ai thot ai mite liek to buy sum ov yur bukz, cuz ai don’t know them, an now that ai know yoo (in ar ICHC sorta way), ai wud liek to know yur references. Liek where ai red taht Juj Dred alwaiz shutes eberebuddee. Had ai know THAT, awl that shuting yoo hav been doing wud bee twicet as funnee!
An besides, ai think yur art work iz stunning.
So – tell mee pleeze – what shud ai start wif??
*wispers* do you think the green blinky things disguised as sparklee hair baubles will be rekognyezabul as b0rg?
Only when da tubules erupts from dem and enters the skreaeming targets, depositing b0rg nao-teknolgy.
Mary, I be so disappppointed – I wrote long commentary on yur Fabulous outfit; how young Brigitte wuz qwiite the sex kitteh, and how maybe U could gets your leashed cheetah to ttacks and bites the peoples who be wearing other kreatures’ fur…and my komment was banished to Netherland!
Acshully iz a bit uphill from heer…but nawt banished!
Only when da tubules erupt and enter into the skreemin victim’s body, depositing da b0rg nan-teknology.
Mary – I be really disgusteded. This be da THIRD time I type a commentary about your Fabulous outfit, that young Brigitte wuz qwiite the sex kitteh, and that maybe U could trane yur cheetah to attack and bites the peeple who be wearing other kreature’s fur. But TWICE my commentz have disappeared into netherland.
To the Techkies at ICHC – lets get the warp enjines fixed, or da beetings will kontinue!!!!! (By deh way Mary, congrats on yur winnnning entries on that pikshur!)
hee hee! voila!
wayte, winning entrees on wut pichure?
*wispers conspiratorially to CH* do you think we’ve caused enough confushun down below in the thred to distrak them well enuf to
assimimimimilate dem awl at wunz?
looks like the organizashun ob a b0rg collective would be a nimprovement…
Do the b0rg collective REALLY want a bunch of spoiled, petulant, self-important, vastly overpaid ACTORS to be assimilated???? Well, maybe Kevin Costner and Brad Pitt be okay for ’similation. And maybe Colin Farrel, but hiz womanizing ways will be ’similated away.
can we puts pierce brosnan on the liszt?
*wispers* btw dont menshun the pierce brosnan fing to mye husban.just starts unnecessary sullenness…
Yes, we can ’similates Pierce Brosnan too. If I reaches him before U, will similate him but keep him in regenerashun chamber for you to visits at yur leeshure. He be my gift to you. Huzbands needs not knoes about theze things, as then they thinks they gets their picks of which loose-morals starlet they wants assimilated, and then that brings on a rather lengthy reprogramming of huzbands nano-technolgy cluster lokated in dere medullas oblongatas.
i lubs it wen you talks branes. gigl.
“brane and brane, what is BRANE???” gigl
OMG remote-control Vulcan FTW!
berry good. now, answer me this kweshchun wun: wat is teh tidal ob dat episoad?
Heee, leetle bit lates heer bud neber lets it bee sed ai misses chans tew shew mi geekiness. Spock’s Brane – TOS seesun 3! Ai iz trekkie wibbowt hawp uv redd … reed … beeings sayved.
LCB, so nice to see u in teh top spot, and luking so stunningly slinkee at teh saem tiem. Teh mask iz a nice touch. I see D Marie iz watching owt fur u.
Oh D Marie, ur legs luk liek a Siamese, wif teh lawng slit up ur skirt. Iffs u wuddn’t mind, I will taek teh odder syde of LCB, juss to be on teh safe syde. Earff Shoos or nawt, LCB habs a nak fur getting into truble.
I’m awl dressed in mah Tommy Katfilger – juss sumpfin I pulled outta mah closet. I took a baff fur teh okashun, but I maed sure taht mah fur was juss messy enuff to maek it luk like I wazn’t tryin too hard.
*walks up in a cool confident manner*
Oh, u all look so spiffy!
And look at all teh moovie stars out there! Way up in teh thurd balcony… is that Jake Gyllenhaal? Jake! Over here!
*waves and slinks*
*Jake doesn’t notice*
Hay, Romeow, ur shoolace is untied! DM, would u halp tie it?
*leeps up over Romeow and DM’s backs, climes up on giant Oskar statue on stage*
JAKE!!! OVER HEER! IT’S ME! LCB! WAY UP HERE ON TOP OF TEH GIANT…
uh-oh.
In your dreams LCB – Romeow an I are smarter than that!
Hey, how’d you get up there? Take my eyes off U fur a momint…. I swear, we can’t take U ennywhere!
Romeow and Pd’B You are needed here!!!! Do we have enny shiny devises to distract her wit? I’ll run and get the new-improved peepl catchy thing…
*opens up duffel*
here take this crossbow
and this tripod
and these pulleys
and this grappling hook
and this length of bungee cord
we’ll fire it up to the ceiling,
run the bungee cord through the pulley
then across the ceiling of the auditorium
swing the hook down to the LCB on top of the stachoo
lift her up to the ceiling
then lower her safely down to …..
hmmmm
*stops to think*
mebbe this plan needs sum werk
and a people-catchy thing
.
and when I read the structions, I downt remememeber
it specifying the bungee cord
but what could it do?
Please to be replacing that bungee cord wif a real rope, cuz I haven’t seen woodchuck around here today. I have teh catchy thing now… and have you notissed taht peepl are starin at us? We need to be quick!
Hay, I has a ideer. J4K in her fringey outfit is a kitteh magnet. And I is waring a dress made of slinkies! Metal slinkies, not plastic ones. Maybe u could raise J4K up to mah level somehow and she can draw me to her magnetic-like.
If yoo think it wud werk, lbc, ai am willing to trai eet.
But *stage whispurr* DOO YOO KNOW THERE AR BORGZ HEER????
But – what happpens when we ar BOFF up there stuk togedder? Oh – nebbermind, ai see it. Ai think. We needz Phillipe to fire teh . . wayte. Hmmm.
Mai thinking cap – ai needs it.
Oh – an whut happened to eber resourceful Romeow?
look
donut panic
we can has a crossbow
an a bungee cord
an a peeeple-catchy thing
an some slinkees (the real, metal kind)
an maybe a borg queen somewhere
i’m sure we cans figure this out
looks around for JCH4K’s thinking cap ….
quick – you are needed further down the thread, we are getting ready to deploy!
HANG IN (UP) THERE, LCB. ROMEOW AN AI AR PUTTING TOGEDDER A PLAN!
(sotto voce) Ohhhhh!!! where IZ gibbocat? He iz veree resourceful an haz a gun. An haz dun stuff liek this lotz of tiems.
awl sortidz jch4$$billiunsumK
eye climbd dawn teh thred an fixit!
an Princess Mu!!!! We needs Princess Mu! Remember hur daring leeping about?
an gibbocat iz heer sumwhere too. HALP!!! HALP!!!
did someone say “halp?”
Could you use, in a pinch, my lovely silky green wrap to
catch a thief ? That is, if you don’t think we could go up dose 39 steps to save her?
I saw , through the Rear Window, your plight, adn came as fast as I could, and Forrest, the won wif lots ob Gumpshun cheered me on.
*holds out rather long obi type wrap of a magical,
silkie material from the designer Galadrile.* It’s nawt my hobit to use this for dis type ob thing, but this looks like a desperate sichuashun.
*thinks to self, as she passes the wrap* , its against all odds dat this will come back to me…
Ai see wut u did thar. And ai wud join in but cannawt remember a single moobie title. Is odd, becoz normally ai has teh total Recall.
*small giglol* i giv you a complimentaree “getouttajail free” card to whoomebbah findz teh moast hidden moobie refs in dis thfred!
ohai, dis inkludes KayJoy adn eberyboddeee else.
In the HOLE thre?? Or just yur commintz??
teh hole trhed. in alpahmabetical ordeh!
catch LCB kwik, b4 teh lady vanishes!
*directs sudan chare baerers towards Janets call for help*
*baerers gently put down chare*
*Princess Mu steps owt wearing a sheer silk cape and gold crown
revealing her spotted ocolat markings fur awl da werld tew see*
“Princess Mu haz aksented her provocitive luke with gold bangles, gold bands on awl paws and a peridot studded waist chain!
Is daring, yes, but wen ur a princess u can set the trends”
OK Darlings, I’m late, but I’m hear.. I better check the rest of thread before I make things worse rather than better… Oh LCB, wutevur shall we dew wiff u!?
*wif a low kutzsey* Yur hai-ness, we ar overwhelmdeded taht yoo grace us wif yur dazzling an atheletical presents.
If yoo can doo enething to maek sum sense ov this, teh entyre land ov ICHC wil bee furebber in yur dett,
I’ll c wut I can dew sweet Janet
( this is a super funny party! I LOL’d a bunch ov times!)
.
Didn’t they confuss… confisk… take away teh peeple catchy thing when we ehnt thru security? Besides, would they let u bring it out during teh broadcast?
I have my ways….
D Marie cud disquise teh peepl catchy thing as teh Prairee Schooner Flote. Ebreebuddy wud bee so enchanted to see liddle Esme in hurz sunbonnet taht they wudn’t notiz what wuz underneeth.
hai ebbereebuddee. sowwee eye b lait. but teh juj dridd unyfawm am a liddul tyte nowadaiz. huff. puff.
but as eye haz mai hovva byke mebbeh ey can rich up an grab LCB b 4 ebbery1 mex 2 mush fuss.
heah LCB – jump awn teh bak.
zoom zoom an zoom agin.
mek ruhm DM we b landinz ryt tehr.
*wispurrz*
mebbeh ewe cud ewez deze cuffs 4 lcb. keip her owta tribbul.
O mai gudness!! A reel deus ex machina!!! LOLZ.
gibbocat – doo yoo alwayz show up just at the last minit?
An lcb – ar yoo oK? Heer – ai will rap yoo up in mai sawft an warm amber goat hair shawl frum Damaskus (wt12″lfoi).
ROMEOW – LCB needz a dwiink!!1 Shee’s shakin laik a leef.
An gibbocat -*smooch* – taht wuz wunderful.
last minnit am mai middul naem! iz enny smawl coe inzty dunce dat eye am fond ob cliffhangaz..?
but, alas, is it the reeeel LCB taht gibbocat has catpchured? oar a deecoy?
she caem alawng awful kwiet..? mebbeh iz a cloan? tek it 2 CH furr testinz.
*cue music: Send in the Clones*
⒩
isnt it rich
arent we a pair
wif me here, at last on the grownd
and you in
….midair…
♬♬♬
send in the clones…
ware are the clones…
dare otta be clones…
dont bother, dare here.
Yooo meeen. . .yoo think. . .?? But – hoo izzit ai gibbed mai noo shawl too?
iffen u put teh trakkah chip in liek eye toldz U –
wii shud b aybul 2 kech her!!
I’m Heer, D Marie!
Remember to get the peeple catchy fing and nawt teh trampoline.
I brot sum drinkees (full bar akshully), to halp us fink ov hao to get LCB down…again.
Woodchuck was a grate halp last tiem, but I haven’t seen our fren a-round fur a wile.
I’m alwais available to catch LCB (wifowt spiking her) if I need to.
*breaks owt blender and chilled glasses for drinkees*
Oh grate – ai wuz wundering where yoo went. Ai feel much bedder now that yoo ar bak.
An – befoar ai trai to uze mai magnetizm to save lcb (oar – mayebee sumwun wud have a BEDDER IDEA!!!!!??? ai cud uze a refreshing drink, pleez.
Yoo chooz. Ai’m too nervous to think.
Hao bout a refreshing Kir Royal?
I hab byootiful organic stramberries fur a garnish. It’s nawt tradishional, but they r too good to pass up.
*cheers*
Hao r we gonna get LCB down?
Iffs we had teh trampoline, mebee I cud jump up and grab her, and land on teh peeple catchy fing?
Iff we awl put our heds togedder, and hab a drinkee or two, we shud b able to figure dis owt.
Oooh, drinkies!! Sorry ai is late, ai cannawt run in dese 5 inch hi strappy manolos (IRL I wud nawt be able to walk either, but dat’s teh majik of teh innerwebs!). Ai has a lawng slinky satin black dress, slit up to mid thigh (but inna tasteful wai), mai 5 inch hi strappy manolos (which is rly rly comfurbuls an ai will nawt has to kick tehm awf in a minnit an massajj mai bunyuns) an just about teh hole colleckshun from Cartier. Wehn teh lites catch mai earrings, teh effect is blinding! Literally, btw, so make shoor u has teh protecktiv eyeware awn.
cheers Romeow! wood u pls refill mai manhatten? is gettin kinda low.
Thanks!
*sip, think, sip, think*
OK, lets get this coordinated here, cuz I’m confused, and I’m sure LCB is, too (quick, while she’s distracted!) Mary, we will use your scarf to wrap LCB up, while Janet is up there with her, then Romeow and I will be down here with the catcher, while Pd’B shoots the line up there.
Janet, Wrap it around the two of you, and Pd’B and CH will lower the two of you down to the catcher. Mary, your job is to keep LCB calm and to guide Pd’B and CH in their tasks
Ready? Deploy!
Wait!!! Wait! I”m nawt shure – am ai sposed to hang awn to the cord taht PdB iz shooting up to teh ceiling?
ok, we’ze ready.
xcept, maybe i can has drink before I shoot the bungee cord up to the ceeling?
very nice, thanks.
*sip sip sip sip sip*
OK, now we’ze reddy.
Aiming
[what ? is eberybuddy reddy?]
or do we need more drinks?
sakay, pdb.
ewe juss hab anuddah dwink an lebe diz 2 mii.
u cud hab sumbuddez eye awt wif dat!
We are ready – Fire at will – I mean at the ceiling. Hurry before all the blood rushes to Janet’s head and LCB panics!
taptaptaptaptaptap…. deploy alreddy! she’s escaping wif my cheetah’s emrald collar!
ok
drinks all around
and around
scotchwisky fer me
kir royale fer JCH4K
and wut fer romeow? and fer gibbocat? and …..
no pushing and shuving pleeze
oh, wut’s that?
LCB needs a drinky up there?
we cud catapu… capatult…. launch one to her
heh!
LCB!!
wut you wants to drink while we figures out a reskew?
over here!
look down here where we be waving to you…..
uh-oh
doan wurree janet. u lux berre gayzful hanginz downsyd up. teh powl danzin lessinz payd awf!!
*mutters* wevenj iz a dish best serbed cold
crossbow reddy!!
zzzzzziiiiiiiiippppppp
ttttthhhhhhwwwwwwaaaaaccccckkkkkk
grappling hook deployed
bungee cord extended
grab ahold JCH4K!!
ai got it this time!! Wheeeeeeee!
ewe b carefulz wif dat stuff – diz byk am rintidz!!
*note to self… next time LCB is out in public, we need to bring a stunt coordinator*
i recommedn deploy! taht is a decoy catpchured above!
But – where iz lcb??? Ai just gibbed hur mai amber shawl maed ov goat hair frum damskus (wth12″sfoi)
What we reelee seem to need moast is a gud direktor! This iz starting to luk leik “Noyses off!”
An – am ai still hanging upsyde down???? An if so – wud sumwun come an fetch mee, pleese. Ai think ai’m starting to feel . . .a bit. .silleh iz inadquate fur teh sichuashun!
i think we need a rewrite.
iffen eye shutez thru teh roep – mebbe PDB kan catz u – iph he putz dawn himz martoonie lawn eenuff..?
reddee??
*bangzum noisis*
lukowt beelo!
aw ms mary O’
duz taht meen ‘bak 2 teh drawin bord’??
We ar getting a rerite. Ai think we ar awn ar third taek!
Oh my goodnesses! When I lookinged in a few minits ago
u wuz all having an oscur partee and looking so pretty.
Den I lefting to making teh blooberree muffinz and I cumz
bak and u ar hanging frum teh seeling and shooting
bungee cordz and crossbowz and hiring stunt coordinators!!
I can’t leeving u alone for a minit!!
Heer, ebery1 take a blooberee muffin and settle down.
OK – ai am now hangin awn to the cord an am in teh air an am swinging maiself ober to lcb!!!
An we ar now stuk togedder. O hai, lcb.
Now – wud sumwun pleez put the peepl catchy thingy unner us – or maybe gibbocat – cud yoo maybe jump awn taht bike again an fly up heer pleeze. Mite bee safer.
sune az eye finnish diz raver taystee bluberree muffin….
nom nom
u juss hang awn a minnit.
Romeow and I are at our posts with the catcher, and it is getting heavy. Are U sure that is LCB up there, she isn’t saying anything, and she may be having a good time laffin at us after deployin a holograph or sumtin.
Whoo. I is here. I was blinded by teh glare from teh top of Jak Nikkelson’s hed and got dizzy. Then I hallucinated — I thought I sawr a flying bike!Then Collin Feral came onstage and I went all melty. Hay, is that J4K upside down?
Teh peeple catchy fing iz in place!
U guise r swinging, but D Marie and myseff r running bak and forth under u, so no matter wen u let go, we will catch boff ov u!
*runs to teh leff wif teh peeple catchy fing*
*runs bak to teh rite wif the peeple catchy fing*
Wheeeeeeeee!!
U meenz U am steel swinginz guize?? eye cudna missed wif meye shawt!! dis dern gunn. eye needz 2 tawk 2 teh propz depawtmint!!
Hang awn ( noe pun intennid! ) eye’ll goe git mah byk again.
brb
ROMEOW!! What doo yoo think we shud doo????? Is gibbocat still muchin awn that bloob. . .. OH NOES!!! Ai think hee iz being assimilayed!!! Romeow!! D Marie!!! DOOO sumthing!
Shot??? Shot??? ai hav been shot at?
OK, JCH4K, u hab LCB, rite?
Nao who is lowering u down? Sumbuddeh must b, cuz ur boff lower dan u waz a minit ago.
If u can cum down enny faster, dat wud b gud, cuz D Marie and myseff are getting a liddle dizzy frum runnin bak and forth wif teh peeple catchy fing. Or, it cud b teh drinkees. Iz hard to tell.
Hay, here’s a ideer: there’s so many egos in teh theayter maybe u could put them all on teh stage and then someone could cut teh cord here so J4k and I can fall down on toppa teh egos. That way DM and Romeow doesn’t has to keep running around.
Hmmm?
Also, plz to save me a bloobarry muffin? Kthx
Ai thot iz wuz PdB – but teh lites ar a bit blinding frum heer. An yes, ai hav – ai think – lcb. LUKs liek lcb. lcb – izzit reelee yoo? A simpul yes or no will do.
*zoom zumesum SFX!!*
swoopinz in wif mai bootnyf an cuttinz teh cord.
der!! happee landinz!
*carrumpz*
aw well
eye did mai bist!
WHEW! LCB, We got you! Now, young lady, you come with me.
I have never been so embarrassed (OK, I prolly have) before!
No drinks for you! Clean yourself up. Romeow and I are holding on to you for the rest of the night. Se if you can find those handcuffs gibbocat gave us. And give Mary back her scarf, and Give Janet her shawl.
I swear, we can never take you anywhere!
(Is a new category of care-troll – OH NOES< THINK WHAT LCB IS GONNA GET UP TO!)
LCB, cud u tri nawt to b star struk fur juss one minit?
JCH4K, I fink itz awl up to u. Taek ur amber shawl maed ov goat’s hare frum Damskus (wif 12″ sfoi) and put it ober ur eyes. Before u do that, slyde LCB’s mask over her eyes, then cover ur own.
This mite sound scarey, but u hab to trust us. U hab to cut ur rope and fall into teh peeple catchy fing.
We’ve got u!
Promise
*says prayer to Ceiling Cat*
some how the proverbiyul pot talkin to the kettul comes to mind…
Der is enuff blooberry muffinz 4 ebery1. But I not b trowing
dem up 2 u LCB & JKHazmennyKittehsazshewantz. U might letting go uv teh rope to catching the muffinz & tehn u wud fall an hurt ursef. U will hav
2 cuming down 4 dem.
Dey are nootrishus & delishus.
Well, that turned owt well.
*sigh*
sry. slow interwebz. I running 5 minits behind yuz guyz.
eye kan vowch furr dat!!
n eye wuz meeninz teh muphinz.
Captain Obveeus can point owt wen teh commercials came on TV.
Itssa mirakul. An ai eben still hav nai noo shawl!!!:D
*whispurrs* ai waz shur lcb wud sumhow maek off wif it. Its reelee prittee.
An now – can ai pleez hav wun ov those blooberree muffings.
an thank yoo, Dmarie an Romeow fur catching us. ai noe it wuzzn’t easy – an thani yoo _ ai think – gibbocat fur cuttin us down. Fur shur, we got down faster, eneway!!1
Mary O – do I resemble that remark? Me? I would never do something embarasin in public. Whatever would give you such an idea?
What? You been keepin a notebook, you say?
*slinks off, not forgetting to keep a firm hold on LCB*
Next time, someone else get to be bodyguard.
nao yem tekkin dis tyte blak rubbah ewniphorm awf!! it b lynchin mii in playziz eye doan liek 2 b pyncht!!
brb een mai r mawny soot.
( sa bess eye gort – sry eef eyem lukkin shabbee! )
Mine uz unushuallee slo as well.
But – allz well that endz well – an we ar awl still alive!
Ai think ai’ll taek the Kir Royale now, pleez. An – where is PdB??
Heer Janet, hab anudder Kir Royal to go wif ur bloob.
I’m bery happeh to see u and LCB safe again. Nice job reskewing her. Grate teemwork bai our hole crew.
Since we’re awl taking teh limo hoam…
drinkees fur eberybuddy!
I kno I cud use one affer awl ov that.
tanx! eye needz wun affer awl dat!
an happylee eye kan has wun nao eye iz owta ewneeform!
chrz!!!1
(meekly)Sry guise.
J4k, heer’s ur priddy scarf.
MaryO, heer’s ur big kitteh’s collar.
Romeow, heer’s ur watch.
*hands back all teh valyoobuls to everybuddy*
Oh, and look, DM! Heer is teh handcuffs.
*cuffs DM to Romeow*
*scampers off to teh baclony in search of Jake Gyllenhaal*
LOLZ!! Fur a minit ai dint know what mai bloob wuz. wufff. Ai’m OK now.
Thanks fur the Kir Royal.
Maybee we shud go sit at that nyce beeg tabul ober dere. Mai neez ar still a liddle shaky – liek teh tiem in Salzburg wehn ai wuz riding awn mai bike thru a tunnel downhill awn slipprery cobblestones in traffik an mai brake chayn fell off!!! Ai thot ai wuz ded fur shur!1
Thiz wuzn’t neerlee so bad – but still a liddle skeeree!
bugee cord attached to LCB ankle stretches
and
then
booooiiiiinnnnnngggggggg
snaps her back
DM and Romeow grab her
*jake G. looks disappoynted*
but then …
I so happee u iz all ok. I wuz worried about u fallingz frum teh
seeling. Only seeling cat shud be in deh seeling.
gibbocat – yoo lukz quite spiffy in yur r mani soot. But ai thot yoo lukked reelee gud in that – ai cudn’t see too well, akshullee – it awl happened so fast – blak ledder uni form.
Gibbocat, do you have a key to these handcuffs?
PdB – whut a grate moov. But – it seems we ar in a stranj tiemwarp still. An ai am quite confuzzeled about hoo iz still heer. It seems to mee taht ai mite bee tawking to maiself!!
Nawt that there’s enethin rong wif that.
true, i is also sumwhat confusilated.
but
somewun had drinks before
may i pour you something?
if it duzn’t make the confusion go away
it’ll at least make it less confusing
i think
heah DM. trie diz haer gwip.
eye lawzt teh kee sum eppyzoadz bak!
eye fink mebbeh teh tymworp am doo 2 weirdpress tekkin noatz fur wen tehy wuntz 2 mek a moobee ob LCB’s xploytz!!
x sitin stuph!!
mebbe eye kan du teh grafix nobul..?
*snikkurz*
( awlwaiz lukkin furr wek )
But – luk at teh tiems. Were yoo bof reelee goen fur 10 minits. Ai just switched from safari to firefox, but ai’m nawt shur it will halp!
DMarie – if yoo hav a problem wif taht – haer quip??- ai can trai to do it. Suwum once showed mee how.
i think the best way to tie up loose ends in dis storee is to :
a)have sumone wake up and say “you’ll nebber beleeve the dreem i had. and Carecrow, you were dare, and Oward Lee Lyon, you were dere….
b) some how involve a leak in time space continuum .
Great Scott, beam me up!
3) call it experimental literachure wif some
sortob streemobunknoshushness
IV) combo platteh ob awl the above, as a movie inside amovie inside a mobius strip.
PdB – if yoo ar still heer, ai cud reelee uze anodder drink. It was Romeow hoo wuz handing them out befoar.
gibbocat – do you see lbc’s avatar? Sumwun’s 12 year old dawter DID draw a sereez of pikshurs frum “Teh Thrilling Reskew.” *sniker* Ai’m nawt shur what wee will call this wun!!! it certainlee had itz momentz!
“A Tail ob Two Many Kooks Spoyle the Broth”?
but at leest gigloling ensewed…. can you beleev we are all grownups?
der am axuallee teh kwik releez buttin… tehr!
but eye fawt eyed let U struggul furr a beet!
Oar maybee – If WierdPress iz being slo, donut attempt sumthing requiing tieming!!
Tho – that duzn’t maek much of a title!
an az a noet 2 mary O’ – eyeb seen comix that maed less senz!
D Marie – yoo hav hit teh nayle awn teh proveribal hed. Thiz maeks being a grownup verree much fun indeed. much moar fun tahn iv we WERENT grownups.
an – gibbocat – a kwik releez buttin???? struggel fur a beet? ai think there iz a wicked streak in yoo – that verree cloaslee resembles mine!
but eyed liek 2 concachumalayt ebberee buddee awn a wunnerful produxyun ob the “merree libez ob LCB”.
*sounz ob mennee clappinz*
my life sumtimes makes less sense!
An did yoo notiz taht lcb scampered off at teh furst oppotwnittee?
The furst wun ov these that ai did wif her – Teh Teho an teh hawt ccoffeee incident , unfolded flawlesslee, compleet wif tiemly Greek chorus commintz just at the rite time!
a set up!!! teh LCB stwikes agin.
adn i nebber gotted my obi made ob magikal silkie materyul designed by Galadrile.
♬♬ take a look at me nooooow, tehres just an puzzled faaace
yure coming bak to meeeee is agaynst all odds…
eye muss admit, janetoftehawl2mennee2menshunKittehz,
taht eye phelt a liddul cheekee leebinz u hangin tehr wyol eye et mai muffin!
mary – ai hav to go to bed now – ai must get up urlee – got to taek my ant to a dr appt – an then – sort of eggsiting – ai has to mail mai applicashun to bee a delegate at teh Nationsal Democratic Convenshun!!1 Ov corse, it cud eezilee bee that ai wud nawt be selected, but ai wuz asked to apply becuz they were lukin fur peeple.
Cud be fun – an certainlee – ai hav nawt dun enething liek that befoar.
gibbocat – ai hoep yur dentizt appointmint goes – smoothlee? Paynlesslee?
An now aiill say gudnite again – an thanx fur awl teh fish!
(fish being a metafor fur fun!!)
gc – FELT cheekee??? hmmmmph Ai’m kwite shur taht yoo enjoyed eet immenselee. Ai cud see yoo, down there, munching awn yur muffin an traiing nawt to laf!!!
gud nyte
sumhao eye tink wii habz awl
meta4 in anuddah lyfe on anuddah playn 2 sumwer nyse
an wheel awl b meatinz agin.
hugz {{ ebbereebuddee }}
That’s how ai feel, too. How cud we know each otter so well so quiklee?
nite jch4k. good luk wiff eberyfing!
nite, mary O’
Just wun liddle quesshun. Ar yoo as funnee IRL as yoo ar heer. Oar ar yoo inspired to teh grater hites ov silliness bai teh general ambience???
Yoo may answer at leisure, if yoo wish. Ai reelee AM going to bed now.
Oh- wun moar thing. Teh answer is “safari.”
SHOK NOOS FROM TEH OSKARS!!! JAKE GYLLENHALL HAS MISTEERIYUSSLY DISAPPEARED!!! Onlookers say Jake was last seen in teh company of an unknown woman in a slinky dress (made of slinkies) an a mask and unconfirmed roomers say he was handcuffed at teh time! Fears are growing for his safetee. In udder Oskar relayted noos, seberal guests was arrested for bein drunk and disorderlee and wun man was detayned for possesshun of an offensiv weppon. Tune in at elebenty for more awn dese stories!!
Oh thank the CC taht yoo ar heer SJ!!1 Yoo ar lek teh border collee arriving at teh partee wif teh sheep!
Yoo hav, it wun fell swoop, explayned ebreething an tied up teh loose ends. Now, if we awnlee cud hav tied up LCB. . .
An ai’m nawt shur ai ebber saw such disorderlee guests!! Ai’m just sorree yoo cudn’t ben heer sooner!
iz mebbeh juss az well – udderwaiz LCB wudda run awf wit dat awsum cartier collexshum SJ be flowtinz!!
den wii b habbin anudder hole problim!
ALSO COMING UP AWN UR NOOS AT ELEBENTY – hoo wuz teh misteeriyus woman in a bery fetching stole (was stole by LCB, but is okay, she got it bak) hanging upside down from teh bungee rope? Fashun gooroo Vivienne Westwood is partikyoolarly eggsited bai her stunning undergarments, and sez “green floofy nikkers will be at teh heart of mai noo colleckshun!”. But den she’s awlways sayin stuff like dat.
Next, an in depth report on disturbing noo evidence dat teh Oscar serrymoaney was infill….imfull….intilfrated…. dat dere wuz Borgs at teh Oscars!!! Is ennywun safe? Hoo is tehr next target? And if it is Tom Croose, will ennywun notice or care?
BRB after dese commershuls….
tawn Krooz wuz herd 2 commint:
“It wenn ryte ober mai hid! But den ebberee ting duz!”
oh, SJ, dont go!!!! *grabs SJ’s ankle*
cue beetuls
why she had to go , idont know,
she wouldn’t say…
i sed sumthing rong,
nao i long for yes ter dayayayayay
yesterday
Get dese beetuls offa me!! Ai doesn’t like teh creepy crawliees. Yes Mr Croose, dat inklewds u. Werl dis Oscar nite partee has been a blast but ai must be awf. Play nice while ai is away, won’t u, and maybe ai’ll bring you all back a present. I’m thinkin
African beeds
Belly danssers
Choklit (ob corse)…..
wut else u want?
danny boi
elligators
fishis fuds, chiken ov da C
gardun hose to wash off beetuls
handcuffs (lbc)
inspirashun (fur wehn fayced wif “not comment”}
slinkeez makes me happee too. Makes mah kitteh spechly happee!
ai’s comin down teh karpit in mai big ole garbidge kan…
o…wrong oskar?
nooooooo noooooooo, is purrrrrrfect!! ai lubs it!
dat mai favrit kind
bet summadem sturz am growchee kuz dey wuzznt nomeenaytid!!
DATZ how u getz notisd in da press wrongobongo…..
(lookin thru paperz for pikchurz uv wrongobongo in garbidge can)
May I suggest Dem Franchise Boyz: Ridin Rims
Needz multiple kittehs
U meen teh car? Or everyone?
Either way, u is correct!
both is right, but espeshully the car which need 4
Teh Captain just said Warp Factor 4 – How fast duz we havta run for dat?
de kitteh in de tire goez roun’ n roun’…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUjIA3Rt7gk
this photo (& thread) deserve a theme song
I wanna grow up big an strong, so I startin exersising now…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDwZfhdkA3M
kitteh was watchin this exersising video
mai eyes sez we haz a nawt second tai!!! congrats….. we can danz to
will teh circul be unbroken
bai an bai ceilin cat bai an bai
der’s a bedder home awaitin
in teh skai ceilin cat, in teh skai
run round in circle
run bak teh odder wai
rub on teh door edggge
rowl on teh rug
U have a good memory! Thank U! I am up above bein LCB’s bodeeguard at teh Oskar Partee, tho. Put on your sparkly clothes an come join us.
weee can danz at teh Oscar dela renta dress partie…….. oooh twerrrrrrlie twerrrrlie, plop
dat will teeech an old kitteh to trai new trix
Hamzter du dis fer funz?
Hammies nawt as smrt as kittehs.
uv corse, teh fuud chayne = intelligenzes.
I just changed from watching teh car race to watchin teh Acatemy Awards. Is it rong that I is hoping to see a Holllllywood star crash on teh red carpet?
Dont bee silleh, lcb.
Wai else wud wee watch?
So, J4K, who is U wearing tonite? U look fabyooluss.
ai speck she’s wairin ver cat she
She was lookin’ at a Stella McCatney befoar.
oh dears, mai stile noledge not wut it shud be………. how bout verry wang?
oar maibee Gushi dress
Wai, thank yoo lbc. Ai’m warin Bill Henry tonite. Ai thought teh blak velvet jakket wif theh frilley collar wud luk gub wif mai amber joolerey.
An doo yoo liek mai noo amber colloered shawl ai’m waring wif it? It’s frum Damascus an iz maed ov goat hair – iz verree sawft an warm. An ai speshullee liek teh 12 inch silk fringe, dont yoo? yoo kin sort of “swoosh” it around fur a grae effekt.
oooooh Bill Henry?? wishit der wus a pikshur, sounz ellgunt
ai apolguise 4 assumin eye mite no whut eye wuz wearin…….. spehully wit mai lack of stile nowlege
eye ment wut yew wuz wearin………. mai finners got goin too fas
an hoo ar YOO warin tonite, jamamakitty???? Yoo luk prittee spiffee, too!!
ohhh i be wearin spiffee sweats………. it be too muchly past mai bed tyme
jamamakitty – where doo yoo live???
sry jus turned off oscar……….chainged mai mind. nex yeer ai want Cameron Diaz dresss…… lubbed it. (ai mite eben stai up lait to ware it) ai lukked it up an it was Ceiling cat Dior
ai lib near teh spaice needle bai teh emrald city…….. ai jus ment tat mai nite life is pretty early….gets up too errrrly in teh AM
Bet all the little kitties be following U, batting at the long, swooshing 12 inch fringe!
Yes!!! Ai ar a kitteh magnet!!!
aint dat teh troof!
ai is waring mai prinsess dress- teh wun whut luuks lyke the wuns in cort jester- ai luvs dat moovie! is a nice springing green to bryng owt teh red in mai hare.
Yoo must bee luking liek Princess Fiona!!!
I hasta catch dat aloosiv tail nao, fur shur!
Rawnd, rawnd, git a rawnd…I gits a rawnd.
I’z get’n bugd draivin up ‘n daon
teh saem ould strip.
I gotsta faind a nu playz
Wayr teh kittehz r hip.
WIN!
Da weels onna car goes roun adn roun…
N teh paynted poneez go up n down,
wez kapshurd on teh karrosell uv lyff.
Kitteh tyred owt.
dis is ecxe… esel… gret hibrid!
biokittydieseldiz hibrid werk grate 2 hourz owt ub ebbry 24. rest ub tiem it recharjin (snoozin).
You still movin’… right?
Hai Laydie…yew wanntid frunt end felinement, rite?
full of win !!1!
Enjin habs 1 kittehpowur
Jest needz three moar kitnz an we havs veree slo moovin kar.
kittehs day ar veri affishunt renooobul enrjee. Jus wun cheezburgur, dems go all day!
Don’t need gasoleen, but takes a heap o’ gushy fuds per mile.
gud thing theys almoast teh same prise!
I can has Red Bull plz?
U prefer wings to wheels?
m-ewww–nevah want see kitteh near car weel. OW
Sry kitteh, car spinz YOU!
(and were not evun in Soviet Rusha)
Beeg deep weelz purrfekkt
4 liddill Kitteh. Soopurb
playss 4 currldz up Nap
Liddill Kitteh no
canz maykz Cawrr go ‘Vroom, vroom!’. Dat
taykz summfeeng ekkstra
Cawrr iz verreh kleen.
Liddill Kitteh getz no staynz
awn herz sno-wyte glubbz
Muss beez lawtza
hamsturrz undurr t3h hood andz
dayz muss beez sleepeeng
Jack.
U spin meh rite round, kitteh
rite round liek a wheelie, kitteh
rite round rite round.
Romeow, who is u waring 4 teh Os-car party?
Iz waring Tommy Katfilger tonite.
I hab taekin mah place next to u, up above.
Uhhhh.. akshully, iffin it moves, YOU shud run!!!
preffurablee in da direkshun uv away.
Eggsakly. Fur an fast away.
OMG !! Itz a car! get in the …. wait a minit….
get in da Jee-bus!
Sry.
Did you hear Lassie had a son with a Rottweiler?
It rips off your arm, then runs for help.
Backwerdz Cat
is tryink to push kar in reverse
Do they measure vehicle performance in kitteh-power?
Chrome dubs, spinners, and now cute little kittens?! This Fast-and-Furious craze is getting outta control!
kitteh iz in d reverz gear!!!
Here at Kitteh Automotive, we don’t stop until your car is all shiny and pretty. Detailing specials all this week. Free installation of kewt with any racing stripes. Smoo extra.
‘I cans B hamstur nao?’
So THAT’S what powers World of Warcraft’s servers!
dis be funny
I thought this looked familiar…
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/05/09/am-is-hiding-from-teh-domo-kuns/
Moar poke pleeeze
WHARS MAI BUKKIT !