mapquest
teh beuaty queens. dey fail at maps.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: julie
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
Catzilla Terrorizes Toy Town! Film at 11:00!
Happy Nawt-secund, Maus! Whut dantz u lyke? It iz Darwin Day todai so we can has dantz of evolooshun?
how we do dis danses plees? Ai will try if Ai noes teh mooves
Tell u da troof, Tidmum, we names da danse an den ebeverybuddy does what dey can or dey feels like. All dat r really needed is dat we all danse togedder and hab fun (Oh yest, an calls our danse da same name whateber it looks like. In magik cheeseplace we all Nureeff and Pavlova. Joo just danse ur own danse and it Ok. Get back in time for da da tradishionall buying ob da drinks for eberybuddy dou.
Ohai Lucy, fanks for splain dis to me.Ai be still lernin all teh cheez fings lyke teh danses n teh drinkses.R der any moar akshuns ai need to bee lernz about?
Ai still a newbie n dun wanna does enneefing wrong n upset all da cheezfrens.
Beez der sum rools fur cattiquette ?
Ai beeleeve dat drinkses be on me for beezin seccunds?
Ebbereewun can has teh drinkses of choosin-even DrPlehpleh!!
Cheerz ebbeereewun!
Ai dansin in mai kitchun nao-teh tiddyz (kittehz) fink Ai finallee loesded mai marblies!!
o hai Tidmum. donut wurry bowt upsettin teh cheezfrenz — peepz be berry payshent an unnerstandin heer. an der bee no roolz fur catiquette, exep tu bee risspeckful an moastly awn topik. menny peepz iz funneh an kreeyaytib an talinted, but iz nawt rickwyrmint. moast peepz iz kynd an kerrin — nawt rickwired needer, but it halp. deez fingz iz whut maekz dis plais so grate, ackshully.
o, an cheerz tu yu, tuu!
*klinks glasiz wif Tidmum*
O hai moe, fanks fur reply.
Ai bees notisin dat peepz be payshunt n I be berry graytful.
Mai eggsperince so far on ICHCB bees awsum.
All teh cheezfren be sound lyke kerrin n spekfull ob all de udders.Ai fink dis a wunnerful playce n ebberreewun beez verreee frenlee.
Commentses make me larf all day! Eeben wen I be at dat supermarketz I fink ob teh funnees an start larfin-(nother shopperz luks at me a bit straynge tho)
Dis a grate playce n ai bee tellin my frenz to cum look.
Big fankx to all uy yoo for happee dayz. *klinky klinky of glassez*
Juss wate, Tidmum! Soon joo will start lolspeekin in yer regyoolar lief! Frinstance, wen waiter brings joo yer salad an teh lettis is awl brown an wilty, joo will say “Pleh, DO NOT WANT!” Teh waiter an yer date will luk at joo funneh, an joo will be embarrasseded. Den joo will come to ICHC an tell us awl abowt it, an we will sympa… simpe… we will feel yer payne, an we will laff wit joo.
I hab been speekin wiv straynge werdz for menny yeers.It not be too differnt frum lolspeak.
Ai finks it becoz mai boichik got dat autizms n cuddent unnerstanz mostly uvver peeps.
Hims maded lotz uv odd werdz n dem stuck.-butz he be speekin moar betterz nao wiv halp frum teh langwidge therapees peepz.
Mai kittehs r usded to mummah speekin sillee.Dey lubz it.
Dis rly true bout lolspeakin in ur “reel” life. I fine myself doin it moar all teh time. Dats okay, cuz I juss get anudder laff from ICHC even wen I iz away from my computer.
I ar glas dat yer boichik iz doin well. Dem talky-therapy peeps is teh win! Mai boy is gettin teh talky-therapy too, cuz him juss wuzn’t talkin as well as he shud be. Nao he ar making eggsellent progress! How old is yer boichik, Tidmum?
O Hai Miss Dawn
Mai boichik (himz hatez me callin him dat but he will alwayz be mai chik) bees neerly 11
nao.Himz be gowin ta da big skoo in Settember.Teh talky peepz n all teh teechurs beed verry hard wurkin speshully cuz him gots a berry angree tempers sumtymes.Hims is lubbin all teh lol pikchurs. he cun reed teh capshuns but sumtymes not unnerstand.Ai splains it to him.He lubz our tiddyz n dey bees verree payshunt ob him.
Ai m gladz ur boy iz progressin well.Is at big skoo yet?
ohai Tidmum!
*klinkx yumy whine*
Mai boy-hoomanz luv teh kittehz, and mai MrQ lovez teh lolspeekx two… (he showd me dis cite. iz hiz folt.)
– we likex teh lol so much, we speekx it two r kittehz, Zippy & Mocha…
Of corse, Mocha iz noo kitten, resQed from pownd. Why we resQ her? ‘cauz my little 9yr old hooman likx teh ICHCB so much, he wanz hiz own kitteh to play wif!!!
Tankx ICHCB!! U helpz uz resQ a Kitten!!!
Peas & Luv,
MrsQ
Mai kittehs be reskewed too.Dems hab a foreva home nao.We lubs dems soooooooo much.
MrTidmum nawt likin teh lolspeek at furst but wen him finks ai cant heer him speeks to teh tids lyke dat.Der be hope fur himz yet!!
O hai Tidmum,
Mai boy not in skoo yet, he onlee 2. Yer boichik souns liek such a sweet yung man! I ar glad he enjois teh lolkittehs.
Ai sure fank joo fur teh kynd werdz bout mai boi.He bees berry hansum n lolkittehs beez himz nue seccund fayvrit webby space-sads it cannot beet utube n teh robot warzs viddeos on der.
Yaw boi must be at teh reely cyoot stage.Ai finks wen him gets to skoo he speekin in tew langwidges-lolspeek an teh reel speek. himz will hab de edge ober uvver small peepz!!
Hai dere, Tidmum! Has enny of teh frenz tole yu bout teh nawty barn??? An teh nekkid ironin guy dey keeps dere….prolly not, I bet….dey likes to keep dat to demselves. Dey tried to lure Alan Rickman an a cuppola udder moovie star dere, but I fink dey all chewed frew teh leather straps and scapept.
It’s a wild bunch o peeps here….but dey teh bestest in teh hole wild wurld…I promisses!
Ai beez berree gladz choo tole me dis seekrit stuff.noebuddy else did.Be der ennymoar skelingtons in diz cheezwerld cubberd?
Hmmnn-nekkid ironin guy.I can haz plz? Ai haytes teh ironinn .Himz can halp me? oh,an dooz mai ironinn too???giggglllzzz
Sorreee ….ai beins a bit rood.hehehhe….Ai can haz thinkies tho? MrTidmum beez werkin faraways n ai be bit lonlee. *sniff*
Whoaah wat I be sayin? Der iz moar rommses in mai bed for teh kittehs to snorgle up wif.They be keepin mee companee.Yayyyyyyyy!!!
Fanks Annie. I posteded a link heer abowt elebenty minuts ago, but stoopy WeirdPress haznt horked it up yet. I’m still waytin…
*foottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottap*
*sigh*
giglol re: *foottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottap* sigh—
Teh WeirdPress Two Step Danz.
Cngradulashuns, Maus! eben dough it be Darwin Day, don’t go gettin any Darwin awads, ok?
Funny you should say that Mary. I have tried to post links to the Darwin Awards twice this morning. One was even a “stealth” (ie. spelled-out) link. Someone at ICHC or Word Press is taking their sweet time approving the links.
Ur welcum! I duz nawt know how to do teh Darwin dantz, but ai fink that it cood bee a conga lyne an teh cat at teh end of teh lyne is stooped over and teh next cat is a leetle less stooped an so on an so on…u kno…lyke teh evolooshun of man?
*starts conga lyne*
*rolls fists*
*kick*
*”hey”*
*starts over*
Yay! ai lykes to dantz! Ai used to bee a balle…bawle…er, a balay dantzer!
I fink in onner of Catzilla, I will do a big major stompy dans.
*STOMP,STOMP, STOMP*
ooh, sorry babeh, I did not mean to stomp ur tail liek dat! But dat is no reezon to use da pointy ends!
Iz teh monorail stayshun neer heer? I am lost. pleez can have direcshuns?
I be thinnking I sawded teh monorail station a few pages to teh left. Doan worry about the spy-cat you will be passing, he won’t be bozzering joo.
— Dis behbeh kitteh-kat iz sooooo cyoot!!!
— Gud thing I gots my CHRG on or dere wud be branez splorted all ober deh plase!!!!1!!!1!!
fanks fur direkshuns cweenmj.Ai hatzes beein losted.It bee scaree.speshully cuz ai r cyootest orinj kitteh n dun want to be kitteh-napped.
_ cud plz splain CHRG? Iz it sumfing to keep branzez safe? Ai nawt noin dis.Ai can be a teenee bit stoopy sumtymes.Thnx
Oh, Tidmum, u not stoopy. u just not noeing.
Deh CHRG b deh Chicken Headed Rubber Glove. When you putz the rubber glove on ur hed the waggley finners makes you luk like a chikken hed. It be holding your branez in so dey don’t be Splorting all ober deh place when u b seeing all ob the cyootnesses.
If Janet wuz heer, she cud ’splaening it bedder dan me. If joo lukking back a cupple of weeks u can b finding her explashuns.
I had mine speshul ordered to fitting ober my tiara. *twirls to show off*
I think I will be putting rinestonez on it since it cuvvers up my pretty sparkles on deh tiara.
PS. joo can just be calling me mj. I not cween IRL. I just liking to be having a tiara.
o hai ,fanks.Choo splainz dis berry well.
CHRG ……Do want
iz a shop ai can biy frum?…wayt
*sound ob rootlin unner sinkz*
Yay foundz wun.Can custumize nao.
Much Splortin nao occurin
Gladz mai branzez be safe.
mj forgottid to tell you bout teh (wdoi)…usuallee goez after CHRG…it jus means (wif drawin on it)….dey wuz drawin pichurs on dem for a wile, but I doan no iffin dey duz it naow. WWe even has a rekuvery ward wif a beeutiful pitcher window lookin out over Teh Princess Mu Meadow full of teh loverly flowerz.
Ai wunnerz wat wdoi meenz-Ai din lyke to ask agen-cuz den ai do luk stoopy.
Am lernin all de tyme .
Ther beez a grate supprot netwerk fur da cheezfrenz who get branzez oberload.Ai fink maybee helpz be needsded heer berry soon!!
Yoo nawt stoopy! CHRG is sumfing you hab to bee arownd fur a whyle to see. A CHRG iz a chiken-hed-rubbr-glub dat u put awn yor hed for to keep brayns in wen u see a bery kyoot kitteh an yor hed essplodes. Sum peepel hab a CHRG wiff drawring awn it, wich is a CHRG(w/doi).
Iffen yoo furgot yor CHRG, an yor hed essplodes, the CCC (Cyoot Crash Cart) commes and taykes gud cayr ov u, gibbin yoo a blankey and sum choklit, and mebbe a dram ov scotch if yoo so desyre. Plus awlso, sumwun will shirley halp yoo scoop yor brayns bakk into yor hed.
Cor fanks for all teh splains.Ai not feel qwite so stoopy.Yoos r all berry kynd n halpfulls peepz.Am gettin da hang of fings nao.
no, Shirley izzint on dutee todai…..
go down JCH40K Boolevard, wehn you get to a fork in teh road, take it.
Continue on JCH40K around about the RTH traffic cirkul (watch out, still bean paved wif good intenshuns) turn right on JCH40K Boolevard adn a quik left on JCH40K Boulevard. If you get to JCH40K Boolevard, you’ve gone too far, so make a U hoo turn.
There you will see teh monorail stashun, but teh monorayle Cat is on strike (wantin moar cheeseburgers adn bettuh dentul plan) so you may can has to wait a while, so do teh WeirdPress Two Step to keep warm. *foottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottapfoottap* sigh—(jazz hands during sigh)
Ai bees followeded des direcshuns n nao all spinney in mai hed.Halp sikkee bukkit plz or has dat lolrus gotted it bak?
I maked cheezburgerz for mai kidlets jess nao.Ai maded nuffs for ebbereeboddee. choos be all berry welcum to hab dem.
Ai finks abowt callin a cab nao-ingerland not hab berry gud dentalist reputayshun.
Did do foottapfoottap……. danse but mai kitteh nom nom nommed mai toeses.
She say dey hab flavurz.
o hai, Tudmum. i wud luv a cheesburger! i bringz sum fries…u callz dem chips, maibee?
joo be berry welcum.Yes.fries be chipses in ingerland cep at dem gowlden arches wer dey do be fries!! Ingerland iz confuzzlin playce sumtymes-lotz ub r werdz beez diffrentin ameriky.
Can haz salt plz?Thnx
Ohai Tidmum, u is in Ingerland too? We cawls it TeenyTiny Ingerland since ob corse it is a bery smawl country an we awl nose each udder heer. Dere is me an Ambercat an paws4thot (ackshully he is in TeenyTiny Scawtland wehr teh Scotch whisky comes from) an lots of udder peeps (mai brane is nawt well today, ai just came out of a free howr meeting about accownting - blargh, my brain it ar ded udderwise ai wud list dem awl). Iz bery intresting heer as we learn awl about new cormfeckshunary products (laik “smores”
an we teaches teh Merkans about Lemsip an choklit hobnobs and udder important Inglish tings. And ob corse we regularly meets for teh Inglish OHai Tea, wehr we has teh Erl Gray Tee an teh cewcumba sammidges wiv teh crusts cut awf an teh fairee caeks an we awl wears our best dresses an hats an white (nawt CHRG) glubs.
Joo needz sum merjenzee halp-Ai prescribe da nice warm drinkee,cumfy slipperz,choklit n many snorgles npurrs from kittehs.Hope dis Halp?
-Maybee wun day joo miyt ware dat CHRG at teh meetins.It miyt halp to keep branzez from splodin wen it not bees intrestin.Maybee udders will noe of teh ICHC societee n larf n make it a happy tyme meetin.
Ai be finkin ob joo nex tyme ai has cewcumba sammidges n wunnerin about CHRG beein de nue zecutive hedware!!
I’m bout to start some remodeling around here…Dis’ looks like a nice corner to for a town “poop” statue…
http://www.wannasmile.com
Aww, teh kitteh didn’t liek da game
Orinj bebbeh kitteh: want
what a cutie, oh noes mah hed just exploded from the floofy goodness, the liddel tayl and the earses
Call teh CCC!11!!1 Hed Splortin’ emerjensees.
heer, taek mai CHRG (wdoi) …
scoop, scoop
pat, pat
tape, tape
nao u sit heer an dwink tihs hawt choklit an stay inna blankit ’till CCC gets heer, kthxbai
two_kitteh_limit,
fanks, that feels bedder
Gud to habe you two-kittehs. We got da splorchin goin bad las nite and nobudy knows what do duz wifout joo. Maybe joo leebes emefc…enerbgy….needinahurry instrhsuns 4 us when joo not here?
Kitteh Kong takin ova Lundun.
Where teh Goodies wen you need tehm??
NOES! Not teh Goodies!! Der “Ecky Thump” will maek de qute kitteh LOL to death! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kung_Fu_Kapers#Fatal_effect
i remembur da game uv Life had a wheel to spin and littl cars u filled up wif a spouse and da kids….I guess da kitteh is a new piece dey added in recent years.
din tey alzo hav teh shoo an teh weeelburroh?
– oh noez, dat wuz mausopolie…
an den teh kidz starts teh yellins an teh fietins an u get so fustrated cause iz winters an teh gas bills r soarin an teh third morgage iz due an ur stuk in teh job whar u get payed too liddle an jus got called in to work anoffer caturday an oop! 1 of teh kiddies jus peed hisself…ai wishes teh wife wuldda taken teh birf ctrl.
ai luvs taht game!
That’s about my experience with MapQuest, too. Kitteh, you are not alone.
We haz a sayin’ in mai offis — “Mapquest sucks. Pass it on!”, cuz we’s had so menny bad direckshuns frum dat site!
I can has On Star?
My expereience with ONSTAR
Tern lef at …….Hancock …….Street.
I cant aturn left at Hancock Street, Hancock street doesn’t go left. I’ll go straight and turn left at Gulick.
Tern left at …… Hancock …….Street/
THERE IS NO LEFT ON HANCOCK STREET!
You are now off the route, go bak to ……. Hancock …. Street.
I went fru downtown St. Louis wif detours during rush our in teh rain wifout onstar and got were I needed ta go.
I use ONStar in MAH OWN HOMETOWN and I gots lost.
mebbe Onstar purrsun sitz frunt ub kompyooter, reedin owt direckshuns frum mapquest?
Mebbe Onstar purrsun sitz frunt ub kompyooter, reedin ICHC and has to just fake the direckshuns.
F Ai had a cah, Ai wood loove ONSTAR. Ai wood hug it n kis it n cawl it Jorg. Ai wood allas b askin “ONSTAR? Hoo rote “N Flanders feelds da poppies gro, betwene da crosses roe on roe?” N fings liek dat.
RUPERT BROOKE ?