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Bachelor #2
hee hee. haf fun on ur date!
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Terrie
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Wot wud be yur Ideel dayt?
Hola!
Ooohh… Now?
~Ag!~
Well, Sillah, Ai wud wynandyn mai dayt wit teh bananananana sangwiches, mayd wit bannanananana bred, woshed daon wit teh bananananana dakrees an, if teh eevnin went well, maek her brekfastinbed teh next day wit banananannaan smoootheees. Cos Ai is a bit ob a smoooothee maisef!
joo forgetted teh banananana pankaykes!!!
Ob corse! hao silleh ob me! But Ai’s jus amembered teh banananananan split (roasted awn teh barbie que, as it’s still coeld)
Dat’s the Gorilla my dreams
ambercat!!! whut dans fur joor nawt sekondy spot dis mornin? We kood dans to George ob teh jungel!!!
Ai is howlin lyk Tarzan tihs mornig, tryin to maek mai fynancies werk so a jungul theem sowns abowt rite!
AAAAAaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaHHHhhhh!!!!!!!
/me cues up Ray Stevens’ ‘Gitarzan’
Do deh Muhnkie!
“He’s free as the breeze, he’s always at ease,
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees,
As he swings through the trees without a trapeze…
In his BVDs”
He’s got a grrl naymed Jane
(wif no lasst nayme)
a kynda hoamly thing
bit she luuuvs to juss swing!
Well, they got a pet monkey He likes to get drunky
And sing boogie woogie and it sounds real funky
Come on, your time boy, sing one, monkey
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Let’s hear it for the monkey
On saturday night they need some excitement
Jane gets right and the monkey gets tight
And their voices unite in the pale moonlight
And it sounds all right, yeah, it’s dynamite, it’s out of sight Let’s hear it right…..now
hear it right nao:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v7Gv9slJv0&feature=related
‘Ize the King of the jungle now,
You must take a bow,
‘Ize the King of the jungle now,
an’ I haz got my prize!
unnersttod AC!! fynancies can be ruff!!! gud lukk!!
Ai can has winninglottrynummers?
EuroMillions lottry win – DO WANT.
Ennee lottree win: WANT!!
Yabutt nawt teh get email frawm teh nashnull lottry, get awll excited an start werkin owt wut colour teh yott will be an how menny mercediseses ai will has, den find owt ai has wun £10 type of lottree win. Bery difficult to get a yott an mercediseses wiv a tenner.
Unless teh tenner is Jose Carreras, ob corse.
Teh oenlee emayls abowt lottree wins Ai get R teh wuns sain Ai’ve wun furst pryz in sum lottree Ai’ve neber herd ob, letaloen enterd, an awl Ai has to do to collect mai millyuns is send mai bank detayls, mai fullnaemandaddress an mai mudder’s mayden naem to a PO bawks in Nyjeeria. So far teh fundz has nawt reeched mai akownt…
What surprises me is reh nummer of rich widows in Teenietineeingerland who are dyin of horribel deeseeses an want me to give tehr monee awai.
hunh. i must be own teh rong liszt. i just get reekwests frum Nye jeer ya.
Rly DMarie? Ai must speek to mai mudder abowt dat – she’s been warned before.
ohhh. so so sry. Ai m beeing thre two. Iffnot jungul theem, maabee Volgaa Bote Song? (yoOHoh heeve ho! ect. wif noyses uv doom!!1!1)
Doo ai rmemembr rytelee ur in itteebitteeingerlind? How is wevver thre?
Is booootiful, crispanbrite winter’s dai heer in teh SoufWest ob teentTiny Ingerland. Frostee tihs mornin but awl meltid awai nao. Wuns teh sun reeches teh bak ob mai howse Ai’ll has no ekscoos nawt to cleen teh bunnee hutch, an mai byk – bofe R filfee!
UpDayt: Ai has nao -
Cleened to bunni hutchis
Cleened to patty-o wher the bunni hutchis stand
Cleened teh bunni (wit teh pruskripshun bunni shampoo, form teh vet, Bfore teh caertrolls star. Easter Bunny has teh skin mites)
AND cleened mai byk! Awl in just 3 howrs! Ai is egg zors ted and orf to Asda-Voldermort for sum ferry pootic wynandchoklit shoppin. Enneewun want enneefing?
Golly Gosh Ambercat (we awl talks like dis in TTI, plz to be ignorin Dick Van Dyke thxsomush) u has had a bizzy day. Butt – it is now after 6 pee emm heer in TTI, an ai fink dat means it is time for drinkies! Cheers!
Yay, Ambercat!
Wuudja pikup fur me:
andean panflutes (nawt pankakes)
blak peppercorms
catpuchino maekr
defenestration equipment
eggplant-colored sox
french movies (commedies, plz)
(ai nawt sure we wants to do dis, given teh state of teh last wun, but okays)
Ambercat, while u is dere, ai needs
donuts
evryflavurbeens
fairee caeks
see? ai screwed it up awlreddy.
Plz to add
grapefroot (for teh grapefroot martoonies, ai is nawt eatin dem)
huge bagga Walkers Cheeznunyun crisps
ice creem
juicer masheen thing to mash up teh graepfruuts
kormukopya
latex paint, drop by my house to get sample to match, if you wood.
jooss
Krumkake- teh naiss norweejan treets
lollies
oops
munnies
naiss Norwejan treets
oktopuss
passports frum assorted countries
quick-acting hair dye
really dark sunglasses
:8):
spy glass
tiruvanamali, map of
umbrelluh wif hidden compartmunts
Ai got awl ob taht! An awlso
a viktorya spunj
a wellee boot ( Ai’ll get teh otter wun awn teh nekst list)
a x-bawks
and a…..
yard ornament- sumfin taysteful, a nome, praps?
ziggurat. yoo need sum help unloading dat wun. gib me a call.
p.s. wuts a viktorya spunj? *looks hoepfulllike* izzit a tyep ob caek?
Viktorya a spunj is two, thinnish spunj caeks, stuk togevver wit teh budder creem and teh strorbrey jam. An wit the icing shugger sprinkled awn top. Is teh furst ting yu maek in skool cukery lessens (awlso knoen as Fud Tek or Domestik Scyuns). Yu awlwais has it fore teh Ohai Tee, wit teh beeg hats and teh whyt glubs and teh sniff ob disapprooval!
a pairasol wif ruffels onnit
a paira shues
a paira jerbels
Ican haz a snif ob disaproobal? Duzzit com inna sprai?
SJ–wut iz faerie caeks? Souns gud to etez, but do nawt noes fur shur.
Ambercat – I tink Victoria Spunj is what we call jelli roll. We Merry Kans are lazy, I mean innovaytiv, and we mayke 1 cake, spread teh stuff on topp, an roll it up like a log. Is gud, taysty, pritti treet.
Is teh same kynd ob caek, DMarie, but a diffrunt shaep – yur jelli role is a Swiss role in TeenyTiny Ingerland. Faeree caeks R awlso spunj caek, but tihs tym lidl wuns in payper cayses (lyk cupcakes). You can has icing (frosting) an sprinkuls an pikchurs ob ScoobyDoo awn top. Or yu can cut a lidl coen shayp owt teh top, fill teh hoel wit teh budder creem, cut teh coen in haf an stik it bak awn top, lyk wings, to maek a Budderfly caek! Awl R avaylubble fore Ohai Tee at haf past for pee emm, donut forget yur big hat, wyt glubs an sniff ob disapprooval!
Heer at SJ Towers, we favors teh Budderfly opshun. For speshull occashuns u can put food cullering in wiv teh buddercreem an mai mudder was always a fan ob teh silberballs. Dey is liddle balls coloured silber ( – duh), reminissunt of teh led shot an wiv similar conssisstensee. Was nawt considered a proper partee wehn ai wus liddle until sumbuddy had borked a toof on a fairy caek.
Wuz awlso used awn teh tryful at Chrissmuss but dey tended to dissolve in teh alky hall.
Ai awlwais tort teh silber bawls WER ledshot, a leftober form wartym rashuning or sumfink…
hmmm.. over here a Swiss Roll is the same thing, but choklit insted of jelli.
Hubby likes teh silber decor thingees, but tehn we red on teh packij taht u werent sposed to eat tehm ?!???
R we gonna have OHai Tee on Sunday?
I pikked gud! Batchler, yoo has a winning smyle and pretty furs.
He serpently luks lyk a happi grillillillillilla a taeks pryd in his appeerens – Ai’d dayt him!
i yooshally perfers teh broonetts, but taht smyle has wuns me ovr! i will lurve him an squeez him an call him jorj, mai gorillolla b/f.
you can has him. ai preferr a b/f whose genetic code matches mine a little mor closly.
well, if ur gowin to be pikky, u’ll neber get married.
taht mus be wher Ai’m goin rong! Letsee; currentlee Ai am luking for a man wit a puls an proksimately teh rite nummer ob armsanlegs…hmmm, nawt shor wut Ai shud drop form mai spessy ficayshuns!
Noes, Amberkitteh! Ai seen him firsty! Yew cannot haf teh man wif pulz, heez myne awl myne… hehehe! Dat’s wut Ai alwaze sez wen sumwun’s axs me wut Ai be lukin four in a man… (sigh) sew mush fur spessy-ficashuns…. cawn’t be too pikky, eh?
butt Ai has been widooed fur 9 yeers naow and man wif pulz beetz teh alternat…altranaty…teh odder choize.
tihs iz why kittehs better cumpanee tahn mens. Noes expectashuns, jus wanna snorgle and has gushy fuds. Well, dere IZ dat wun odder theeng, butt nawt to menshun on G-rated site lyke ICHC…. otterwize dey be sendin’ me to teh nawty barnz….oooohh nooooes……nawt wif YNG and teh Danyul Crayg! (an mebbee SAM ELLIOTT??)
Hola!
You pick funny =p
~Ag!~
Mah maind.
I habs chainged it.
It’ll all end in tears – don’t wear mascara!
Dis big ape luks lyk himz seed da gorilla hiz dreems…
Mai hart gos piddy pat fer da saskwatch creechure
“She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I’ve been digging in my Heart Shaped nose, for weeks…” *sing*
find annie gold?
Jorg, Jorg, Jorg ob da jungel
Frend 2 U N meeee
Jorg, Gorg, Jorg ob da jungle
WACH OUWT $ DAT TREEEEE
Yippee, I lubs to singz N danzes N wach ‘toons on Caterday
wif alll uz cheese frends, if I maaay
My frend and I call radio station and sing this song on air after I let him drive and he knock over small tree in parking lot when we was 16 and 15…. mehmories…
Dis iz Snowfleik da albino gorilla in Barsellona zoo who diedz last iar. RIP.
OOPSIE, I ment “4 dat treee”
(mi mid is all befuddled cuz of doin my doobilz 2. Im jus lrnd 2 do sum onliin paaminz, but bookjuglin iz still a spshuul skil – I can has dis skil sum daz?)
junglez fevah, i givz it
I no haz… but I’z zah carrier.
Is teh sayme as teh raybeez? Do not want!
Bounces… Bumbles has dem
The new Trunk Gorilla for driving in tougher neighborhoods
Trolls be takin’ all da cheezburgers. Gorilola would like to speak to said troll.
“U heerd uv whitey keepin U doun? Dat be me!”
So dis wer Whitey Bulger ben goan?
(For those not in US, Whitey Bulger is on the FBI fugitive list and has, thus far, successfully evaded capture!)
pleez nawt to be talking about fujy-tive lists quite so loudly. sum uv us is berrrry sensitive on that topic. just sayin.
shuld we greet choo wif “hola?”
or maebeee…*thinking, thinking…* BOA TARDE?
or ….maybe….γειάσου!
Mary O’Spockn! There’s no need for dat sorta langwidge. Dis be a fambly site.
psst, pb – va bene?
si, va bene.
mucho gusto.
c’est tres bien.
guten tag.
tak.
i say, i have been having colourful travelling experiences.
kthnxbai
Or.. Ohai!!! Oopsie.. I menz, bone swar!!! Comb an tally vooz?
Danses in …… Pransez out….
*Whilzt droppin flawer pettals, white chawklit shavins an spinnin in sercals to distrakt teh cheezberger troll.*
well, dat wuz a bref of fresh aire! hao nice!
Ohhh.. pb iz it chu hoo iz on teh wunnerful 20 dai travvel trip? How wunnerful taht wood bee!! Mush 2 lern.. mush 2 shair. Teh werld @ yer pawtips- pointy ends retraktid, ob koorse!
* Lapsez in2 revvrie…——-dreems -I hazzem*
weeeelllllllllll. he sez he’s on a trabel twip.
howsomeber, sum of us wunder if he is “on teh lam” : exkaping frum an inseedent he cawls a “misunderstanding” involving teh kidnapping of Hans the Mouse. He is currentlee in an undisklosed lokashun, prolly steel in Yurp. We hab been trying to wheeeeeedul owt ob him ware he is by twiking him wif ligwistiks. SOME of us think der mite be a konekshun to the lolcatburgler’s excapades adn the dis apeeranz of 40 catz wich were owned by the artist fromerly nown as JCK$K , aka JCK40K, adn currently as JCH0K.
any informashun regarding dis kase wuud be gratelee appreshiatud.
speeking of wich, haz N-e-buddy noticed dat we hazn’t hurd nufffing from said lolcatburglar for sume time now? duzzn’t that make N-e-buddy curious? lead to scribbloling in tiny noatbook?
just wondering….
[slips away while crowd's attention elsewhere]
skribbul, skribbul
Ahaaa!! * Jus 4 effekt*
Teh wurst fing iz teh dissapeeranse of teh 40 liddel kittehs luvved by JCHOK, aka JCK40K and formerlee knwn az JCK$K.. an teh horribalness of the missink mouse…
Hab yu lookeded at teh Missink Kittehs( Etcetera) Bewrow at the corner of JCH40K Blvd. and JCH40K Blvd yet? Oar teh wall at the poast offize? In enee case- Let the wheeduling beegin!! * Terns on brite oberhed spotlite * Oh pb comowt, comowt, wherebber yu are…Tehre r tohse taht wood luv to hab a liddle wheedul ..er, I meen tawk wif you!!!
Duz aneeboddy haz a teeny notebuk?
aye do aye do!!! has a teeeny noat buk, dat is!
oops, you wuzn’t sposed to no dat.
nebbermind.
pssssssst- icandans, *whispurrs# i missed spelt JCH$K (JCK$K is sumwun elses-mistaekn identify. sowy fur teh inkonveenyence)
hmmmm. i habn’t seen ennyfing frum JCH$K inawhile. wunder if tehre’s a konnekshun…
pssssst- i gibbed you a code naem “icandans” for teh inbestigashun. dont be tellin nobuddy,, ‘k?
Tahts soo funnee… I wuntid to getz it rite an in ordur so I coppeed it teh same ebben dough I nowz it izzin rite.. If I dad beed finkin at the time. Janet wil probly hav a gud laff at taht.
At leest I hope so….
Sined = icandans * Shhhhh*
EH? DIDZ U SEY ICANDANS?
Soz, hard ov heering.
eye am so sowy yoo ober herd dat…
now we has to kill yoo…
(nawt reely, just say “BLARGH” adn play ded, so peeps will taek us srsly. ‘K?)
I luvs BLARGH! I laflaflaf ebbre tyme I seez it.. An I pickchures liddel x’s on dere eyez…
Oh ! Oh! I kan’t take it!!! BLARGH!
Jes’ kiddin Starling – Yore tern to BLARGH…
( or weel dooit 4 you, k? )
Yu herd nuffin- yu seed nuffin-yu saiz nuffin… Yu iz monkey or burdie???
*Oh, I kraks me up!*
ooooo hear, let me twyit.
BLARGH!
X
-0 (
X
^–^
X X
.>o<
^
Blargh!
oh, wratz. teh faece gotted skwished up wrongedly.
Yup!! You gotz teh artust in you – 4 shore!! Rite down 2 teh liddel x’s on dere eyez!!!
Look owt!! I……. Blaaargh!!!
yay- portlolgeez!
omai. I not know dat.
an were duz teh 800 pownd gorilola go awn his date?
N-e-where him wantz to.
but he is a bit “emo” over the banananana disease so he duznt reely feel like going out. maybe stay home. do some sudoku. watch wehn harry met sallee.
dis iz Snowflake dah white gorilla — he was called “Copito de Nieve” in Spanish, and lived out his days at the zoo in Barcelona, Spain — he’d been captured in 1966, and was estimated to be near 40 at the time of his death in 2003 from skin cancer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copito_de_Nieve
I fink we shud tawk bout teh 800 pownd gorilola in teh room.
What room izzy in?
Wotevah room he wawntz 2 be in!
Took someone long enough to pick up on my straight line
thanks McGehee
Wut 800 pownd gorilola? Witch room? Why??
De one in de mirror, Idans!
LOL! Jus kiddin’, srsly
Hummpph…. Vereee funneee…
Man of my dreams….
Iz bih mizzin mah Snowflake (1964-2003). :sob:
He’s Adorable!!
This guy is adorable
Am I the only one who finds apes just a little creepy? Maybe it’s the shared DNA, but much prefer kittehs for the kyoot.
No, greasycat, ai is nawt a big fan of teh munkeeys an such eider. (yars ai duz no dat munkeees an apes is nawt teh same fambly – mai poetic license, let me sho u it). NEway ai is nawt keen on NE large hairy shambling mammals wiv teh nukkils draggin awn teh grownd an teh thik necks an poorly developd soshull skills an teh messy eatin habits, which is why ai duz nawt date menny rugby playrs.
No greasycat, ai awlso is nawt bery keen awn the munkees an such (yars trollies ai duz no dat munkees an apes is nawt teh same fambly, mai poetic license, let me sho u it). In general ai is nawt keen awn teh big hairy shambling mammals wiv teh poorly developd soshull skills, which is why ai does nawt date menny rugby playrs.
SJ, i fot you wuz teh marreed?
Oh werl yah dat too.
Ai meen, dat’s teh udder reasun why ai does nawt date menny rugby playrs.
*ahem* i fink you’ve sed qwite enuf, awreddy…
ferengi ape
wants ur profits
Iz in yr gamma quadrant werkin mah roolz uv akwizishun!
this is the first one in ages that made me giggle out loud! he’s so cute!
Lucky you: in Soviet Russia the State selects the bachelor for you . . .
Teh ladies can’t rezist mai smile….
himz b big n brawny, butt himz b gentull nd haz a gud hartz.
Teh kraigslist purrsonal ad sed: Tall, blond, athletic bild, grate smile. Teknikally all troo!
Dounrite winsum!
my ex husband (s)
this picture was very funny indeed.
whoaz, datz one sexai gorilla.
Ai haz akshully scene dis gorila!!! Live an in persun!! Ai think. Dis iz pikshur of teh gorila in Barcelona Zoo, no?? Ai hab mai oan pikshurs, nawt az gud az dis tho.
He haz a girly gorila an she wuz doin danses tryin to git sum attenshun too. He lukked very…. smug.
luks liek Chamillionairez……..
OMG! My second husband is on ‘cheeseburger’!
He’s got an adorable smile <3
omg itz mah boyfrend
excellent caption–one of my favorites.
First rule of life, one smile is often caused by another.