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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Wow, dis kitteh too beeg fer garage….has to stai outside
OR:
>waves my hand<
Yoo does not needs to see my identfucashun
Deese ar nawt the droyds yoo be luukin foar!
“deese ar nawt the droyds we be luukin foar.”
He can go abowt his way.
“You can co abowt your way”
Move along….
“Move along…move along….”
Wow, I thought dose guards had us for sure!
“Da Force has da stong inflooense on da weak mindz”
Da Force has a stong inflooense on da weak mindz??
*snerk*
Guard Cat On Duty
Yoo Mays Not Pass!!!
ai fink “gandalf cat sez ‘yoo cannawt pass!!!’” wud be better, bud doan lissen tu me, ai jus a humble scientist, nawt a writer at awl (yoo shud hab seed sum ob mai high school paypers, ai wunse sed teh sayme ting TREE TIMES een wun paypurr, an eben een college ai still do nawt write well)
hmmmm does gandalf say ‘cannot’ or “shall not” pass…nao i gotta go be lukin …
Shall nawt, ai fort.
Ai has gud remembery for useless trivia, an bad remembery for teh yoosful tings laik my home fone nummer (well, ai nebber fone maiself), how mush ai paid for sumting (dis can be yoosful wehn husband is askin bowt noo shoos), wehr ai put stuff, wether tehr is any milk in teh hows….
“Dese aren’t teh droidz yr looking 4.
He kan go abowt hiz bidness.
You will obtain a party pak uf cheezburgers and bring tehm here.”
“wow, teh Forse is pretty kool!”
Yer jeddi powerz haz no inflooence awn mee!
*clicks heels in air and spins around*
Concatulashuns on nawt sekund!
Dans ob de moob tigerz foar yu!
I hab NO idee wut kinna nawt-sekkond dans to do foar yoo, Mr. Worf…. Mebbe awl march arownd militaree style? Liek poleece trayning?
I dunno .. I nawt berry cree-atib todai. But i wull dans ennywai!
*dans dans*
Mebbe we jest need a dans that warms us awl up!
Nope..kitteh has inspired me wiff his leg up…
I want big producshun line kicky danse that the Rockettes do!
Seeings dis be my FIRST nawt second! yay!!!
And daaaa da da da …da da daa da da da….
Kick…kick…kick
Oh noes! Mai shoe!!!
Oooh, sowns fun!!
*goes an finds Mr. Worf’s shoo*
*gibs it bakk*
*gets in line foar kicky dans*
da da da
*KICK*
da da da
*KICK*
I can has floofy skurt?
If u has kitteh, awl ur skurts are floofy.
Ai’m sowwy but as Elf and Safe Tea Officer heer at teh Imstitewt of teh BleedinAwbviyuss, ai must point owt dat teh kicky dansses is bery bery danjeruss if u is nawt usin teh proper footware. I must insist awn a inspeckshun, is foar eberybody’s bennyfit. We needs to avoid teh shoe-in-teh-eye injurries. Rite, hoo’s first?
R mye slipphers OK?
Hay !! I can has hi heals iffen I wants dem !! Bleedin’ byurecratz !!
*shows SJ mai shoos*
Dey are nawt hi heels, cuz I fall ober jest walkin in those. Dey are pretty ballet shoos, wiff liddle ties arown the ankkels.
Ar dey ok?
I nawt a skirt kinda girl… i can has those reely cute outfits dat luuk like tuxeedos, but wiff no legs? And I can wear feeshnet stawkings?
I wear my chuck taylors!
And yes…yooo can wear da feeshnet stawkings and tuxedo bodysuit
O noes! *hand over mouf* I wuz doin kickee dantz an wun ub my pointee shoes came off an got stuff in teh butt ub teh “Crabby Patty Hoo Low Votez Cuz Her Dissaprooves Of Teh Stoopid Dantses”.
Now I understand why this is such a pain in the butt for her.
hee hee…I ment too type “stuck” not “stuff”. Made for innerestin diffurunts.
always good to gives teh corncat-mulations for sumbuddies nawt-second nawt-second. way 2 go, mr. worf. Ai puts on kewl and debonair tux-eedo an looks swave an mysterioso wile dansing. Ize not so sparkly, and do not want to get in da way ub kafleen’s flying pointee shoes, but Ize happy to join in de danz.
*skribbles mystereeyusly in liddle noatbuk*
Okays, looks laik most of u has teh laceup shoos oar teh shoos wiv teh ankull straps an dese is awl approved foar teh kicky danss. Butt – Kafleen, Kafleen, Kafleen. Wut is we goin to do wiv u. Teh hi-heel sparkly pointee shoeses – is an acksident waitin to happen.
However, since it awlreddy did happn an took owt a troll, ai guess ai can oberlookit just dis wunse.
Now, anywun got any moar shoes to show me? (SJ luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvs shoos)
meh too!
Ok mah shooz is bootz with pointeh toes and high heels.
I ar wearing them with my sparkly skirtz
does you approve?
haow bout no shoosees at awl? ai duznt liek teh shooess.
‘cept teh punjabi slippers- cuz tehy is cumfy an prettie.
And teh prettie swirly floofy skirst. *swoosh swoosh*
ai is dansin naow!
Ooh dose boots sownd bery nie, two_kittehs, an kitsunerina ai is wiv u awn teh bare feets, ai wuz warin bery hi, bery pointee shooses last nite an had to stand up for about 5 hours an mai feets is sore today. Ai is wundrin rown teh awfiss in mai stockinged feets.
Dat’s “nice” nawt “nie”.
dons four getz the chicken danse is worth qwuartur millionion buks to charititity Sunday!!
Ai wuz just about to put these shooz in mai suitcase – tehy ar pail green sandalz wif strap – nawt poyntee. Ai wud liek verree mutch to danse fur Mr. Worf’s grate nawt second.
Sj, wile yoo were inspeking teh shooz, ai wuz putting up the chaser lites, so when we getz to teh playce where we ar awl lined up kikin togedder, it will be a smasing effect!!!
ummmmmm, you dont meen “smashing” literally, do you???
i don’t fink we can handel too muches ob teh smashings wile yore gone off gallavanting!
Well – we cud liven it up even moar. Teh mewsik cud suddenlee chanj to greek danz mewsik an we cud start frowing teh playts into teh orchestra pit.
OPA!!
ok, sry im layte. if ennywun needs nu shoos, here is teh playse whut maykes teh rockette shoos:
http://www.laducashoes.com/
ask for Phil. tell him that grrl frum Wikked sent yu.
Ai wood danse for Mr. Worf, howebber, as St. Loo got 9 inches of yukkie wyte stuff las nite, Ai has on purple moon bootz to stomp true teh sno. Ai is nawt gud danser under best of cirstum….circemstoon….condishuns, enneyways. Moon bootz NAWT for moonwalkking danse, either….
No danse but Ai will hop up and down in sno fur yew, Mr. Worf! Comgratumalations!
*hop* *hop* *floop* *trip* –slide, stuk in snodrif…. uh-oh, ‘dismember haow Charlee Brown fawl down on ice and can’t get back up? Um, Ai gots same probblm…too much layers, HALP!!! Aive fawln and Ai can’t get up…..
Concatulashonz on yur premier tyme uff gettin de Top Spot Mr. Worf! (An datz cummin frum a tribble!)
Wii can haz coztumez fur dis danze?
Floofyskurtz an’ sparklee shues an’ heddresses an’…. Wiiii !!
so, coming from da tribble…does dat mean i get one conratoolayshun that turns into elebenty bajillion??
Onlee ib wii gib it lotz ob fud! An shood U nawt be sayin “DOEZ NAWT WANTZ” rite abowt naw NEwai?
Dat meanz, Mr. Worf, dat eye won’t be squeelin at u when eye getz neer u. But eye lyke da wai u luked at it better. Yez, u will get elebenty bajilliion concatulashonz frum mee!
Wii can haz Can-can? I like teh big rustley fluffy skirts and the bright muzic.
I halpz the danzting.
**climes up on stage and joyns line**
Eberybuddy! Daa daa dit-dee dit-dee daa daa!
Oowww. I tink I kicted too hi. I pulled a muskel! U guys keep on goink. I will sitting bak down now.
>arreyebz wit linnymint< I can rub UR soar leg 4 U?
Oh, tank yu, Paws. Dat feles berry gud. But teh linnymints alwayz smellz funnee.
Gestapo cat runz chekpont
Haha
Diz cryme scene wear baybee allegedlee ate kitteh. CSI team on itz wai.
Grisham be no help…he only studies da bugs. Send him to ‘WANT’ pic heheh
Sum wun messin up de order uff da picherz on ICHC. No wun getz pazzed dis poyint wit owt ID n e moar sew wii can mayke sure u emply.. emplee.. u wrk hear.
Nebber mind, eye c picher haz now bean playzed wear it beelongz. No sabataje goin on. Dey musta jus started da sooper bowl partay earlee. Dat wood alsew splain whi picher iz layte in popin up.
Border crossing kitteh wants to see Ur passport
then customs kitteh wants you to open Ur car trunk to see if you gotted extra booze
and nips from Catnada
(whispers) i fink its calld Canuckistan, nao.
jus thot yoo shud no.
It has been duly noted Mary O. I shall call it Canuckistan from now until foreber.
Oh noes this was supposed to go under Mary O’s commintz. WP is at againz.
and it did.
thanks WP for making meh luk silleh.
Yoo no luuk silleh two_kittehs.. iz WP that is silleh! I hayte wen it puts mai kommints in weerd playces….
Wii noze iz Wurdprez plai-ing up. Kthxbai.
thanks zippy and paws now I ar feeling much bedder.
nao if dey jus fix de banana pen……….. or pancake or wutebber u call teh smiley fais dat cums out flat
fer dat, yoo will need sum browser besydes IE, ai prefer firefox but apparently tehre r otters taht werk tu.
But he gets snorglins instead….he handsum kitteh
East Jermin border kitteh on teh job.
Sowwy, two_kittehs, I’s too sloe toodai
No worriez drizzlemom GMTA
Talk to the paw
Slap my hand, soul man.
aww yeah! Hi 5!
For we are two wild an crazee guys!
U eber wondered hoo put dose paw prints awl over ur windscreen? Nao u no.
how dat kittee get awl ober teh whirled to get on my winsheeld? He gawt yurz too, SJ?? dat sum kitteee.
i sense a conspira see here. de wun kittee theery, hmmmmm
ahem. Sumbuddy shood doo a ninvesigashun, form a commisshun,…
mebbeee see wut rools hab been borked, mebee?
I tink SJ iz jes teh kitteh fur teh job…wif hims bakkgrownd in sekkuriteh
*looks around* whispurrs to drizzlesmom: dats wut eye wuz finking…
HER!!!!!! Sheesh, wiv awl teh droolin ai duz ober nekkid irnin guy an Danyull Craig an shoos, why dus eberybuddy fink ai is a HIM?
OK, dere is sum guys dat duz awl dose tings but ai is nawt wun ob dem. Ai is a girl an ai has a sustifficate to proov it.
ok, Ms Showmeyurlicenses, lessee dat sertificut. Shoez on teh otter foot, eh?
Iz rite heer. Luk, ai has birf certifficut. Name, SJ. Date of birf, tenf of june, nineteen six…errr seben….errr eighty fore, sex : female. Dat meens gurl in formal.
Now plz wait heer while ai goes an gets mai shoo back from dat pesky otter.
SJ – yoo ar a Gemini!!!! Mee too!! Mai birfdai iz awn teh 6th. Ai furgotted in wich yeer it wuz. 1964 iz teh yeer wehn “Teh Sound ov Mewsik” wuz filmed. Ov corse, ai noe taht awnlee frum heersay.
mary o carefully ecksamines teh birf certificate handed her, whilst SJ whisks awf to get her shoe bak frum the pesky otter.
“hmmmmmmmm,” mary o sez, as she scribbulls sumfin in teh liddle noatbook. “dere’s sumfin odd about tihs birf certificate….”
woohoo for teh Geminis!! teh gud twin an i r Geminis too! (june 13 – lyke teh olsen twins, onlee owlder, notso skinnee, an just a liddle tawler…
)
Wooo, aussi!
I iz a Gemini – Joon 8th.
And so am I…. gigl!
June 14. My other screen name is gemijun
ohai. did n-e-wun else notice that sumwun (ai’m nawt naming names, ai’m bein discreeet, ai’m prowtecting teh innocent, so we’ll jus call tihs persun, hmmm, Mary) is takin notes in a little noatbook?
Ai finks taht sumfin is up. I’m just sayin.
notebook? wut notebook?
*kwikly puts sumfin in pocket*
shooz? did sumwun say shooz? Local Shoe Pavilion store iz haffing sayle dis weekend – let us awl go buy sum shooz.
Kitteh be teh Sandy Claws of pawpaw printz (dat whut we cawl dem)
Sekyooritee kat is …
…
sekyoorifying ebryfing.
(i dunno if I’ve had enuff kaffee…)
I hear dat, i noticed lots o typoes in my lil Stat wars rant….hard to lolcat wiff just one cups o kawfee in ya
teehee! I didn’t notiss ANY typos in yor Star Wars!! Iffen I dun’t notiss typos, dus dat meen I need moar kaffee?? Oar mebbe I shud switch to skotch, den i won’t care! *snerk*
pee ess… i shor am glad we hab a noo pikkshur to tawk abowt!
Amen, Zippycat, Amen.
you goes to da baffroom to do da pee ess!
Ohhh…P.s……nebermind,,,,
i can show mai ID butt i can has snorgels wif tihs US/CAN border gard?
Is I bads furr tinkin liek tihs?
oh noes! teh border gard wans see mah papurs!
dis purrtikular border gard may shred teh papurz wif hiz poyntyendz!
Ai has dose sorta forts abowt border gards all teh time, kittehlurve. Is nuffin to be shamed of.
Der’s sumfin abowt a border gard in yooneeform – or owt ov yooneeform…
I were in Annapolis in the fall and there was all these yung guys in white uniforms, luking sharp and oh so handsome.
do want!
*For those who dosint knowz. The US Naval Academy bees in Annpolees
Teehee.. I wuz thinkin of men in yooniforms, and how hansum they ar, but den a pikshur camed into my mynd of a seekyoritee gard, Dave, that me brudder knew. He was nawt soe hansum eben in his yooniform. Kinna fattish and going baldish, and beeg coke-bottel glasses… he awlso smelled bad. *snerk*
So I kwik had tew get a pikshur in mai hed of yung army/nabee/ayr forse/marine man dat is awl fit and in shaype frum awl the ecksersizing they do, wiff highantite harecut and strawng jaw, etc. Wiped Dave rite outta my hed. Whew.
hoo-yah to teh new vizewall, zippycat!
Fleet Week in NYC!! RAH!
:drool:
dis azackly why ai marreed a airman! dose bloos mayk mai nees shayk lol
Kitteh been watchin tu mush M*A*S*H! But hee no drezz lyke Klinger.
Horse pucky!
TSA kitteh sez remove ur shus
Den he attack ur shoelasis. Is mattur of nashonul securiteh.
Ib UR naymez nawt doun, U kant cum in!!!!!1!1
is bouncer kitteh?
Himz luks big and strong.
And now we will learn three new words in Turkish.
Coffee.
Delight.
Border.
May I see your passport, please?
Firesign Theatre!!!! FTW!
Luv it!
we is all teh bozos on dis hier bus, I finks.
ohhh dis be teh MOWST frendly kitteh greetin & saloot!
sumbudy be hapy to see u com hoem!
[ear scritches]
[chin scritches]
[eye squeezes]
Kitteh sez plz to be ignoarin teh plant ai nokked over, an teh spot wehr ai peed awn teh rug, an teh hairball on ur bed an just focus on HOW KEWT AI IS AN HOW HAPPY AI IS TO SEE U!!!
U can’t be mad, rite?
Mah kitteh alwaes sez, Pleez to ignaor teh barfy on teh marble windosillz!
Hims getz reel excited runnin arownd an seein teh animulz owtside an if he hads too much fuds, PLEH. Nevur when I be hoam tho. Weerd.
Mai neece dus dat too. Well, nawt teh runnin arownd awn teh windowsillz an seein teh animulz, but wehn she gets bery eggsited, like birfday oar Chrissmuss – wiv no warnin at awl – upchuck.
SPLORT!
(nawt me, mai brayns is awn bakayshun. Nuffin up thare to splort.)
Stop in teh naem ov lub
Before u brake mah hart…
*shakes head*
juss liek Diana Cat, to nawt eben hab the Supreems in teh pikshur.
kitteh haz embarked on solo carreeer.
Beyonce kitteh no wants to destineh’s child anymorez
Fank u foar returnin mah mettul butt warmur–u mai exit teh car at dis tym. I taeks it frum heer.
Purrrrrrrrrrrrr
I’z mime diz n invisable wal.
“NUNN SHAL PASS.”
So whai diddun dose gais juss dress up like nuns? Dat wud hab solbed teh problum.
It’s juss a flesh woond!
Yer loony!
Crime Scene Cat says, “No pikshurs please… iz a massakur in dere.”
Public serbice kitteh sayz: Say no to drugz
Kthx bai
Okey, thats be fibe dollers, u gets a frii drink wif dis tikit, an no shenananagins. Danks u an welcom tu de Floof Club.
o krap werz mah lizenz at
Invisible Police Badge
I’ve never been frisked by frisky pussy before.
*practicing*
*Waves hand* “I dont want you to halt.” “I want cheeze burger.”
I am speaking normally.