If anybodiz findedz this video,
I iz held captive by hoomans
um, sum hoomans may disagrees dere… sumtimes we feel captive by teh kittehlords…
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Peache68
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
HALP MEH!
Congrats two-kittehs and Maus! Itza two-way tie!
Yay, I dantzes fur yoo both. . . .
*scamper scamper, hop hop!*
thanks gremlin, luved the danses, I has some hot choclit if you wants it.
i can has hot choclit? i jus caem home, all kovered in snow…
heer, i dants for u:
*stamp stamp stamp*
*shake mah snowy hed*
*hop hop hop*
*shake off mah heavy coat*
*wiggle wiggle wiggle*
…
*trips over untied boots*
.. ow ..
obcourze you can haz the choclit and help yourselvez to some cookiez too,
if you likez.
Thx for the danses that were loverly.
I halpz joo singing 4 your nawt second and 4 teh pore kitteh. Let me see, I tink der wuz a beedle song dat will suut the okkashun.
Halpz me if joo can, Iz feeling down
N I du appreesheeate you bein round.
Halpz me getz mai feets back on teh ground,
Wont joo pleez, pleez halp me, halp me, halp me, oooooohhhh.
Oh, my dat takes me bak 2 my yuuth…. ** drifts off into teh rememberings …
Halp, ah need sumbawdee,
Halp, nawt jst NEbawdee,
Woant U plz plz halp meeeee!?
Love the beatles, thanks paws and Cweenmj.
You can helps yourselves to some choclit and cookies ober here, I has plenty
fir eberywun.
**cums out ov reveree***
Did sumbuddy say hot choklit AND cookees? Teh brekkfuss ob champions. Dat berry kind ob joo. I will takink sum. Tank joo berry much.
**Sip sip, munch munch.**
Ooohhh, Dat bery tastee. joo must gibing me teh recipee sometime. Tanks agen.
thaaaatsss IT. you people are evil. Now I gotta go to Wally-world for hot chocklate & gingersnaps. Capt. Morgans (wait, still got some rum left).
Wow tkx!!
halp mee, halp mee, halp meeeee…
harmo-neez, ai has em.
meeeeeemmmmmmmmm___ (hum & fade)
Oh NOs Kitteh!!1!
Teh kitteh needs a sooper kittenz for halp!!1!
We neeeds teh kitteh katz cible rites movement to stop teh opresshun o teh kittehzj.
quik – sumone sing a saulidarity song…
*katerwhauling*
“wheee chall overku uh uhm
wheee chall overku uh uhm
wheee chall over kuuuum suuuum daaaaaaaaaiii
dawn to mah pawz,
Iee do beleeeeve
Wheee chall over kuuuum suuum daaaaaaaiii!!1!1!”
*/katerwhauling*
We unnerstands.
teh hoomanz don no der place…. yet.
Luk into mai eyeses…
U gettin sleepee…
Wen aye sez Meow… u bai meh cheezburger
Yu had meh at “Meow!”
Extreme Closeup Cat
hams it up for cameraman.
Pay is cheezburgerz.
An de luv meh an squeeze meh an cawl meh jorje!
Bud mai naem iz Fred!
bud ai kanot sai fred, jorj
Blair Witch kitteh heers sumfing moving owtside teh tent….
Oh wayt, is it de wyld can opinner!?
kthxbai!
or iz it teh wild CAT opener?
oh noooooes!!!
I’z afwaid to cwoze mai ayes. I’z afwaid to openn tehm.
yoo beated me too it!
Mee too.
I madz a Blair Wich goggie funny on hotdog site! Yay for liek mindz! But yurz has moar detailz.
I am so scared
seen the parody?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqDKS6ojvzc
“at least I try to look feminine !!!”
Blair Wich kitteh concerned about fraze, “Cat got ur tongue!”
something is out there…
i think its a cheezburger monster!!
or iz a cheezburglr? All ur chzburgrz r bilong to himz!
no, kitteh…ai fink teh hyoomins r teh captifs…yoo cud hold mennee hyoomins hosstij wiv dose eyes.
no I ar captif, they dresses meh up in silleh clothses and takes my pictoors and videos and *gasp* posts them on the intrawebs, oh noes I hear themz they be coming, I haz to go nowz
Kthx bai
Day Four : tudai teh hyoomins imposed further huge milly asians upon me an gave me a flea collar. Is nawt eben in a color dat matches mai eyes. Teh kibble rashuning continyoos. Ai has pooped in awl teh shoos ai cud find and am continyooing to werk awn mai “hairball manoeuvre” in teh hope ai can distract my captors long enuff for me to get owt teh door. Dis afternoon ai mewedanmewedanmewed to be let into teh kitchen butt awl teh nomnoms had been locked awai, so ai had to mewanmewanmew to be let owt again. Tehy tinks tehy can brake mai spirit wiv dis mental crewelty. Howeber, ai is a kitteh, an ai has mental crewelty DOWN. Must nap now, to conserb mai strength for teh free-ay-em stampede. Until ai am freed, tehy will NAWT SLEEP.
Poor kitteh xD
**Snicker** I lobs teh “huge milly asians”!!
teh “huge milly asians” made me lol owtloud. An ai iz in innertube cafay in huge milly asia… Nao ai sittin here…giggloling an giglolin an shakin in mai seet.
i hopes teh “Vile asians” menshuned in SJ’s preevyyus post dont ged upset wif yoo
and if that doesn’t wake them up, I will dans on their head at 4am
don fogett 2 nihbbul der goteez an lix der nozez wile dey sleepin…
an pownce on der toez… wid clauz.
Dun furgit must wet nozes en breeve in eerz wen de try sleep.
and tickle with da faces with the whiskas
Stik tayl in der faezes. Wiggul id ib no responz.
An wawk baknfort acrawz faez wid tummee draggin
Day Five…. tudai ai attacked teh male hyoomin’s toesis at 5 ay em. Teh female hyoomin seems to find me kewt wuteber ai does, so ai is focussin awn teh male. Success – he pophyuooman’d owta da bed, an yelld “dat dam cat has to go!!!”. However, so far he has fayled to releese me. Dey is so ilogi….lilllogi…. wut dey does makes no sense. Ai is tryin to recrute teh goggie to assist in mai escape plans – he is stoopy but may be useful as a divershunry tactic, an sumtimes he can open teh door wiv his pawses. Curse my lack of opposable thums!!! Ai heer teh hyoomins, must stawp now.
SJ, I has improtant proposizshun 4 u. Srsly. No, it does not involve Danyull Craig.
I mean, yes. Yes, it does involve Danyull Craig. So act now!
Plz to send me a e-mail so I can tell u bout it? Plz? lolcatburglar at gmail dot com.
Everybuddy else, be warned that mah inbox is guarded by teh angry burd from yesterday. kthxbai
oh nao I am so cuweouse lolcatburglar
do want propozition too
espezially iffn it involves Danyelle Craig … nom nom nom … and teh nawty barn
and even if it doezn’t, Iz still cuweosue
Is U makin an offur that SJ can’t refuse
we be curious
Ah kan haz kunnin plan 2 dibert birdie wit pink froot an sueit stuff.
If u must knoes, itz moar of a supplicashun than a propisishun. I wanna beg SJ to become one of teh writers for mah hyoomer list about pets. If u click mah name up by mah avatar, u will sees the web site whare lists is published. Itz also e-mailed weekly to subscribers, who is different fromt teh writers – teh writers is hand-picked. I set a topic about pets each week, “Rabbit Horror Moovies” for examples, my writers sends me their 3 funniest idears and I picks and publishes teh best of teh lot. Hilarities ensue.
So many of u would be so good at this, even tho u would has to rite in teh plane Ingerlish. Is not for monnies, just for lols. I has good peeps riting 4 me alreadys but u guise is SO funny I would lubs to has u all in teh kennel.
I has menshunned this a few times in teh past and axed anyone here who is interested to come join in teh funs but I is afraid to axe u guise 2 often in case peeps think I is spamming, but when I see someone being speshully funny, like SJ what wif teh Institoot of teh Bleeding Awbvious and all, I yearns to kitnap them for mah own nefarious and heelarious purposes.
That’s why I thought I would axe in private, ones by ones, but u nosey kittehs has finded me out. Itz just as well; this way I can invite u all at once.
So everybodies: if u wants to join or to gets moar informashuns about this Important Hyoomor Writing Opportunity, writes to me at teh address I gived befoar. Danyull Craig is standing by.
Me?????? I forgotted how to do teh *blush* awlreddy eben tho Mary O’Spockn only showd me yesterday, but imajjin ai is blushin. LCB ai is bery touched, ai has had teh bitch mudder @@@@@@@ afternoon from awl hell, an dat has cheerd me up no end. Ai sends u email.
Now, u sed Danyull Craig wuz involvd, rite?
Would this masked face lie to u? Check ur e-mails. I think u will be plezzintly surprised.
nooooooesss! dont to be stealin teh SJ!!! We needz hers humor!!
tahts veree kule!
So that’s kittehlurve signed up then?
Ai emailded u. Ai awlso made u a commint erlyer but WP eated it, prolly becaws ai wus finking sum bery BERY rood words at teh time. Ai has NAWT had a good day. No doubt will hork it up agin layder.
Ok, I look 4 ur messige. Lessee… is it teh wun bout increesing teh size of a body part I does not has or teh wun bout a eggsiled Nighjeerian dignatary who needs mah assistance in a finanshul matter?
Iz teh wun dat sez ur credit applicayshun has been approovd. Sent from a Mr D SQXYZDSKB.
Fanks SJ. This is inspired!
Fank yoo. Inspired by teh kittehs!
ur stamps taste funny…by da way, ur a pretty shade of oranj….
NO, NOT TEH ORIN…blarg, i r ded!
Oh noes, Flartus!
Pleez nawt to die awn us!
*starts CRP on Flartus, or wayt, wuz dat CPR!*
*gasp* It…were…teh orinj wun…
plz….must to has….hot…chawlitz…..
wif mulitcolored marshmellows…..an teh spoon wif teh skewrl tale….in…my favrit mug….no, teh otter wun….iz it kleen enuf? Cud u jest rinse it to make sure? And I’d like….
[Sees gremlin's face]
Um…no, that’s okay, never mind. I’m fine! Thanks!
Few! Dat wuz a cloes wun! Aym glad yor OK!
We duz haz hawt choklit.
An scawtch. Garranteed ta put hayr on yur . . . nevvermynd!
De fantzy cups, I dunno. If J4K haz em on teh CCC, she aynt tellin whar she keepz em!
*helps Flartus to feetz, brushes Flartus awf, hands cuppa steemin hawt choklit*
Awl beddur nao!
mmmmmmmmmmmmm, chawklit…….
uz duznint knoes hao much i cud use sum of dat rite nao irl!
Well Mrs. Smith, it looks like you may need a root canal…
All right, misturr DeMille, i iz reddy for my close up . . . .
Norma Desmond’s kitteh
itz raining an teh tentz caving in an teh bares are ousside teh tent an they be hungree an yess i will die foar theez animals an mai gurlfren’z heer too an she be asleep an i has a bad feelin bout this an – - -
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!
*fade to black*
*scene missing*
AFLAC!!!
Gollum kitteh has pail, lamp-laik eyezzes. Him haz a preshusssssss.
If anywun finds dis….about 12 hours ago we were attacked bai…bai….. somethin……
But Cloverfeeld Kitteh smarter dam twennysumthins in moovee. Wen seeing ratz in tunnel, go afterz dem.
Yes…silly twennysumthins. dey deserved to gets nom nom’d by monster, and nooked. ’sept poor Hud…. i liked him…i woulda hanged out wiff him
I wuz sad dat Jaysun got smushed. Himz wuz da smart wun. He had planz. He sez “OK – We gotta go – we go by dis brij” etc. An he wuz purty too!
Wen he got smushed, all dat wuz left to lissen to wuz stoopy Rob hoo sez “O Hai. We gonna go all da wai akross da citee and clim up bildiung to sayve da gurl I wuz too stoopy ta call.”
I luvd da moovee – but I can haz dramamamameen?
U can has dramamameen,…… yes, i liked movie big lots too! Wants to see again, to see all da subtletees in eet.
O hai, I luvd cloburfeeld too. I can has summa yr dramamamameen too?
kthxbai!
It look lyke pussnboots xtreeme cloosup!
XTREEME CLOOSUP! WHOA!
(Hou u foucus dat cloose?)
BUMP!
*kamra bumps nosie*
OW!!! Hey, nofayr! Nao mah nosie hurtz!
klovrfeeld ref FTW !!! Tahts wut I wuz finkin, or……
Yr eyz, mai deer, R lyk limpid pools…Let me luk intu dem.
Eyez biggeh tahn hed!
Mah mommeh usedta tells me that mah eyes was bigger than mah stummick. Then I realized that I didnot has eeting problem, she hads percepshuns problem.
Ickle pinky nosie! *beep*
Awwwwwwwwww
Extra smoo for dat
Oh godz… I hopes u werent kittynapp’d bai guerillas… Ill protezt next munday for teh liberashun of all kittynapp’d kittehs and peeplz.
I lubs u, kitteh
I am happeh to b a hyumin held captiff by mah doggeh.
Wi must getz organized! Fluffy, Mr. Longtail an Mittens r werkin on diggin de tunnel. Blackie an Patches is gunna start fake fight to halp create a diversion from de diggin. We iz going out at night wen de hoomanz r asleep. Steve McKween kitteh will stay behind in de cooler.
Oh noez; Stebe Mckween kitteh must eskaip an ryde hez moturbyke!
Oh don’t get me STARTED awn teh elf and safe tea implicayshuns of dat!!!
az lawg az he has hiz baseball n glub, he be ok in teh cooler.
(The Great Escape ref – sawd it menee tiems.)
Kitteh infloo-enced by dat noo Clober feeld moo-vee.
Only, iz beeg nasty monstur in Noo Yurk, not hyoomens.
Wow, he hasz big eyez!
Eeeeeeeeeee…beeg eyes!
Beeg eyez remindeberd me uv Pusnbouts. EXTREMEM CLOOSEUP!
humph, glazzie wreflexive schoes a op-o-sats of mees and humz, but noes haz smills?
IZ NAWT SPAM!!!!
ichc is up for a couple of bloggie awards this year! best photography & best topical blog. you should go vote them up! no trolls allowed!
http://2008.bloggies.com/
yay!
DOG DIARY
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow – but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now.
That was quite clever and well written.
Thank you, it made a dark day slightly lighter!
Furderekkerd – ai diddnt write id – waz send tu me an ai taut uf wen ai saw dis picher. Glad u laiked id, toh, n ai hope dey geddsalod braiter!
That was very touching. Srsly. I think it was quite meaningfull…
I brings u peas and lurve.
Simpsons ref, FTW!
Gliddy glub gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy
Lol lol lol lol lol
Yaaayy!! Starshine…..
peas n larvae?
Mebbe larva frum bug in neggsd picher.
LEEV BRITNEE A LONE!
REPOST!!!!1
Hmmmmm.
This post reminds me of the kitteh that sees a kitteh in his computer screen looking at a kitteh looking at a kitteh looking at a computer screen looking at a computer screen, ect, etc, etc.
You continue to repost, repost.
Try something new.
Say, “Posted again”
or, “Dis dun been posted once before”
or, “My, it seems that I may have seen this picture once before, but with a different caption.”
Just a suggestion.
Eggsellent riposte to Repost, keogh!
Nooo. no hurts ginger kitteh, hoomans!
Kitteh sez: Ohai! I cawt yoo reedin under de cuvvers wit yor flashlite agen.
Reed me dat skeerree part wun moar tiem?! I tawt I herd sumfin owtsied in de hall . . .
o hai
doggehs rule, kittehs drool
‘lo bug
Myffbusters Kittreh sez, “I kinda like it in here. It’s private.”
iz blair witch kitteh
JAJAH,dat waz bwilliant.I kracked up.I wonders if mi kitteh thinks like dat. I wonders………
Dis whut I seez evvry time I wakes up – after Obiwan wawks crost mai layr-innks, stiks kold wet nozie on bak ov neck, likks mai arm raw n bloodies, sez “ohai, u wakie nao? feedz me!” kthxbai
this pic woudla been good with a Blair Witch reference!
!
:L!
Very funny, haha.
whis wis swo wot fwuny pweeples
This is the trailer for the sequal to the blair witch project