my toy hav fud inside
heers a gaem u can plays with them: hungry hungry lolcats!
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: CallMeRed
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The Lady of Broccolishireham
James Bond kitteh purrfurs hiz snaak shaken, not stirred
purrfekt ressponse, Andrea!
*blushes* Tank yew!
ooooo, how about dis bershun ob lib adn let die (by way of weird al Jankovic)
“Chicken Pot Pie”
When we were young, Bernie’s Deli was down the block
(nom nom nom nom)
He made a great liver pate
(You know he did, you know he did, you know he did)
But if there’s one thing in this world that I like better
Than a corned beef on rye
It’s Chicken Pot Pie
Chicken Pot Pie
I’ll danse to dat!
Chiken Pot Pie
*wiggles liek a chicken*
*pretends to direct orkestra*
*runs round liek mah hed’s cut off*
Grate commint Andrea!
Az long az does not requier Chikin Danse! Earwurm 4 U!!!11!!
concat shoe lace shuns!
rekwest fur song & danz?
mebbee theme song
live or let die
ore, how bout wii take to teh ballroom wif ACDC’s “Big Ballz”?
Hmmm, dey wuld maek a varry innerestin medley…
dis song krackles me up!!!
Well I’m ever upper-class high society
God’s gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I’ve got
The biggest balls of all
I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
They’re such big balls
And they’re dirty big balls
And he’s got big balls
And she’s got big balls
But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all
(etc)
(wii kuld have a bunch ob huge kitteh- and purrson-sized balls, rolling around the ballroom…)
ai can has big balloooney bal foar dansin in?
an wii will have teh band strike up a rousing rendition ob teh “Trolley-ball” song, which reeds, in part
Trolly, trolly,
rollly-polly:
holey-moley!
what’s yore goaly,
yU coally soully?
for our deer fren teh burger-biting troll—yesh, dat’s you–you can kome danse wiff us too, (iffn yU gotz teh b–s)
Oh hai, Ai culd have schewtty balls?
look into my eyes.
you know i can beat that hyoomun.
Brioni dinner jacket.
iz tailored.
man…you do Furst rite!!!
Edward is not a snack.
He’s another pet.
Just like Cat.
Thnx.
lulz
kitteh wunders whatz inside the wonder bal.
ai duznt noe- mebbe chrumchee disnee kerakters? flavered cherrreee, limen, green, an graype.
mummmah kitteh sez: QUIT PLAYING WIF YOUR FUUD!
But MAAAAWWWWWMMMM!!!
It buldz mah appematiet! No rly!
iz nawt fas fud
Nope, is meels in weels!
*grone*
ail gets mai coat
we’ll try teh veel
krunchee on teh outside, chuey on the inside
[[[[raw inda middle! Pleh! ]]]]]
Noooooooooooooooes! Raw is much Noms!
Frum mah faborite Far Syde –
Polar Bears eetin teh igloos.
Romeow – nao ai m shur – we ar twinz, separted awnlee bai spayce an tiem.
Ai LUV taht wun.
Ai may nawt bee ur twinz (ur triplets!) (onlee tiem kan tell) but ai lubs dat wun too!
Yeah! I hab a sister! I neber had won before.
Cum heer, Sis, and lemme gib u a beeg hug.
{{{{{{{JCH4K}}}}}}}
Mebee we r triplets? Can’t tell iffs DocFan iz a girl or a boi.
ani wun member teh eppysode ov X-Files…..wher der wer awl dees gurls being razed awl ovver teh cuntree an dey waz part ov a sperimint……
taht cood be we cheezfenz…(but ina good wai, nawt a spooki X-files wai) der waz a sperimint……..an we AWL de result ov a crazi skeem to popoulate teh whirld wiff brite, funnee, lovin, silleh, hoo luv to danse, an sing an rite pomez, an r parshul to sci-fi, an obskure musishunz, jest to naem a few ov ar qwealitiz……
an heer we ar …..!!!!!
noaw we jest needs moar peepl lik us !
weiz quadrupletz! Iz mai faborit two….
alawng wif da “skhool fur da gifted” wun!
momcat
Me two!! Ai luvz teh far syde..
heh heh ai LIVZ awn teh Far Side……
uv whut?
hamm-sammich hazza hard shell outsyde.
Gandhian Kitteh are a followerz of MLK and beliefs in the principles of non violenz
Non violins???? O_o
sum fowks fink violinz iz a form ob torchure…
not nesesaarily my opinyun.
just sayin…
I a supporter uv non violenz to eardrums.
Which means no violens played by noobs!
leest nawt newares nere me!
aymen!
Walk n2 a bank wit a violin case, adn dey worry you has a machine gun.
Walk n2 a bank wit a viola case, adn dey worry you has a viola!
How yoo tune two piccolos?
Shoot one!
Tank yoo, tank yoo, I’ll be here all week.
What’s the difference between a cello and a viola?
The cello burns longer.
Pegataur: here’s the version of the piccolo joke that I know:
How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
One more, and then I’ll quit…
What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
You can tune a lawn mower, and the owner’s neighbors will be upset if you borrow the lawn mower and don’t return it.
wutz teh daffynishun ob purfek pitch?
teh acormdyon htz teh saxophone weh yew throw them in the garbij.
(ps. substituet teh instumentz of choize to amyuse yrself adn annoy myusishuns ob choyce)
the viola and chello jokes aren’t so funny to ME: my boiz played tehm in teh skool—beleef me, playin fore tehm iz far more paynful tahn listening 2 teh n00b skweeqs tehy makes. Difference between a chello an a viola—about two thosand bukks.
I a piccolo, flute, and piano player. I knows ALL da band/orchestra jokes.
What’s the range of a clarinet? About thirty yards, if you’ve got a good arm.
How do you get the trombonist off your doorstep? Pay him for the pizza.
Who are the people who hang around musicians? Percussionists
What’s the difference between an orchestra and a bull? Bulls have the horns in front and the @$$ in the back.
When a musician can’t handle an instrument, they give him two sticks. When he can’t handle that, they take away one.
Stop!!! I laffin so hard, mah syde hurts!
Romeow,
Juz wanted to sai – joo been on a roll todai an joo givs me much needed cheering ups.
Fankoo.
Awwww…Annyluvsprintie,
I juss caem hoam an saw ur postie an u maed mah nite.
I fink it habs been an extra funneh dai fur eberybuddeh.
Hopes u gots ur sads owt and let the happehs bak in.
{{{{{{{{{{annyluvsprintie}}}}}}}}}}
*smoo*
hay pegataur! ai got wun too!
whuts teh definishion uv a minor second?
two floutists playing in unison!
oooh! ai jus remembered a reel gud wun!
Band Gods
Conductor:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to god
Trombone player:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if sea is calm
Talks with god
Oboist:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is almost as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks to god if special request is approved
Floutist:
Rarely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by god
Bassoonist:
Makes marks on the wall when trying to clear short buildings
Is run over by a locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog-paddles
Talks to animals
Saxophone player:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotives 2 times out of 3
Is not issued any ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls, argues with himself
Clarinet player:
Too afraid too jump building because of their reed
Works in locomotives
Too busy with reed for gun
Throws reed into water
Thinks reed is god
Trumpet player:
Argues with building when it won’t get out of the way
Sleeps in locomotive
Claims it’s too easy to catch bullets in teeth when explaining why he really can’t
Saves water to drink after every triple C
Thinks he’s god.
Tuba player:
Don’t really exist
Plays silently
Are really mimes in disguise
Believe there is no god
Percussionist:
Falls over the doorstep when trying to enter buildings
Says “look at the choo-choo”
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Loses arguments with himself
Horn player:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
Is god
ai gawt tihs frum a frend whu played frenh horn.
bai teh way,
ai ees alto saxamaphone,
yah- n sumdai uz willz growed up n beez a tremor saxamaphone!
den u getz awld n becums a bass clarinetz ur mabe…. a buffoon!
momcat
ai wuz in teh forf grayde (juss a wee tendur 8-9 yeers old) wen ai furst started playin teh violenz. ai fink it wuz a form ob torchure fur mah parints, butt ai stukked wiv it awl teh way froo hi skool, n eeben mayde teh Awl-Eesturn (Noo Engerland) Orkistra wen ai wuz in tenf grayde. korse NAO, twenny-sumfing yeers laytur, if ai tried too play, it wud bee lyke dat forf-grayde torchure awl obber agin.
butt ai am a strawng beleeber in teh prinsipuls ob non-violense. we sawr a fabyoolus moobie yessturday cawled “At teh River I Stand,” awl bowt MLK’s time in Memphis (inklooding his uhsassinayshun), helpin teh sanitayshun werkers get wut tehy deserved. Wuz a berry powerful moobie n ai hailee rekumend it.
mmmm….naan violins
duzn look laik this kitteh ebber mist a mealin hiz life. DAts why he play wiff hiz fud. Nawt reely hungree
Nah…iz amoozing at furst….an den comz teh nom-nomz.
Hard and crunchy on teh outside, soft and chewy on teh inside.
sofft and furry…
pletthh, pleettthhh,, pleeehth (sound ob spittin hares)
R splittin hairz
I am the keymaster
I am teh gatekeeper
I am Zuul.
but….dare…iz no dana?????
Oh! naow ai gits it!
A fud iz a fud
no matter hao small.
Horton hearz a Whoo. Dr Suezz. FTW!
O, dat stuff gets mee teery!
Dem mean ol monkee lukin things chanting BOIL DAT DUSPECK!
An den: Weer here weer weer heer weer HEER!!
ooooo—gibs mee chills ebburree time I tink abowt it.
Reely maeks u fink.
R we a duspeck, too?
Teh moobie iz coming owt in March! Can’t wait to see it!
One more tragic case:
kitteh hungers ’cause it lacks
opposable thumbs.
kitty takes comfort
in uncomfortable tux
at least I look good
yu doo luke gud!
can ai has wun uv those soots? teh wuns taht alweiz fits, no matta haow muches yu gane or loose.
I hadz to go on a non-violent vegetamarian dietz to get into the tux fur the award
ceremoniez, please not to be making fun of meh.
Remembur I ar hungriez, and when I hungreh I can get pretteh mean.
Kthx bai
Choklit iz nawt meet –
juss eet moar choklit!
Alwais maeks meh feelz better.
I am opposed to Kittehs having thumbs. Could you imaginez teh nawty they could reek upon us? No barn could contain it.
yu jus wants into teh nawty barn agin…
an mebbe dats teh anser to whirlled peeas- kittehs wif thums! tehy cud deacktivayt awl teh boms an purr teh whyners intoo submisshuns naow dat teh doornobs r nawt a problim.
funny!
taht totally remines me of teh kartoon were Sylvester goz insane due to master on vacation and no can opner
TLVD*
(*troll-like voting detected)
poor trollz. dey are hungries, so dey eat our burgers.
We should have decoy burgers on de CCC, so doze trollz hab sometin else to eat.
I maded them a pome, butt day knot eet it yet.
(well, maybe tehy nommed it a liddle; eye cannt ‘bemember awl teh wrds i rited teh first time–cuppola weaks ago)
I misseded itz yippee! howez da pome goes?
deh nibblez mai naner naner poo poo earlir dis weakend
dis is revolunt to mai innerests……
momcat
Dat iz a nise wai tu fink ov it. Puur sad, hungries trolls.
Decoy brgrs iz gud ideea but how we gets tehm to taek tohse insted?
I saw that troll like voting and have gone through all the comments and given EVERYONE 5 burgers.
Troll: if you need a hug, I will hold my nose and give you one. {{{troll}}}. You must be a very sad and angry troll. I sorry for you.
thx, PC!
*K gibs her a close-pen so PC can huggy teh torlly wiff boff armz*
Mebbe sumbuddy nawt likez wan komment an eetz awl teh burgerz frum taht komment. But iz troll wen eetz all everibuddy’s burgerz.
ore when he eats burgerz frum teh same person consistantly.
(gibs me a complex–i knot know Y this purson(s) knot like mee–I just wanna have fun and frens.)
fank u patticlan-
I ‘preciates da help….
mai fingiz getz tiredz
I don mindz, I can duz dis jus as long as the lvt can!
momcat
Kobe, I’s opened it
Neber could get rubik’s cube, but I solved Fluffy’s ball.
i can has happee meel?
i meen, teh hammistr luk prettee happee, yes?
Ai tink iz mowse. Possiblee. Or kood be jerbil or mebbe mini tour hammestir. But too tiny fur beeg-size hammsetir.
in my town, wii hab “Food for Friends” free lunches,
in kitteh’s town, he habs “frens for fud”!
“Well hello! Let’s transport into my little clear ball!”
. . . a hunerd yeers later, teh hamster be still langwishing in teh korners of merikan so sighitty an fines hisself an exile in his own land. An so weeve kum heer tody to dramatize a shaymeful kondishun.
teh ‘nritchmin bahl. i can has one? uahnt! want!
s nawt mowssez in dere, Mrrphh, s treet Big Mom poots fer meh dere ‘cahz teh puzzils ai sahlvz em an laffs an Big Mom dohn laik me sahlvn teh dohrz an solvn teh dawgz an sahlvn teh fridjj rae tohr.
maibee teh skottisch beres I drinked butz Whatz? doo nawt getz diss komment!
That’s a device called an Enrichment Ball, widely used in various transmogrifications to intrigue animals. You put a ball of food inside a soft sided polyethylene ball and put that ball inside a bigger ball with holes. The animal first has to find the ball, then reach in and try to get at the smaller one, finally dump it out just right, and then bite the softer ball inside to get at the food. It’s often the solution when pet cats are constantly opening doors, turning on faucets, getting into cupboards, ‘counter surfing’ or desk surfing to bat things around or chew on something.
Others, apparently, recognize it as a rodent exercise ball.
is awl ’bout animalishioousniss laffter
hee heee heeeee
that’s a different thing than what Mrrpp is talking about—it’s a toy for a cat, not a rat..
Spoing, spoing, spoing, spoing
I has 5 hunnert poynts
pinball!
kitteh torchure – ai showz u
None of you, animal lovers, feel bad about the mouse?! I think the owner of this beautiful cat is a sadist and a monster.
Get over it, Billy boy.
If you’ve ever owned a rodent as a pet, and used one of those travel balls for it to take a walk in, you’d know full well how secure the rodent is in there. It would take a genius cat with opposable thumbs to get to the rodent, and there aren’t such creatures yet.
I owned hamsters, guinea pigs & mice, and they LOVED their Walk-A-Bouts! We also always had at least 3 cats in the house, and while they watched & followed, they could NOT hurt the animal inside the ball. So just relax.
seppt wen dey wolled down teh stares- not soh grate, aktually!
Wehn ai wuz at collidge we had a hammy an he lubbed his liddle ball. Yewsd to charg rown teh hows in it laik he wuz Ayrton Senna oar sumfin. Wun time he wuz going rly rly fast an smakked into teh wall, an teh ball came open. He just sat in it, wiv a liddle “WTF???” expresshun awn him’s face. We wuz awl laik “ZOMG! Teh hamster’s loose!!!” but was laffin so hard we cud nawt move. Forchewnitly, we got ober dat before teh hammy got ober his stunndedness and returned him to incarserayshun.
No hamsters were harmed in teh making of dis post.
I don’t put my hamster in the ball anymore. My hamster likes to pee in his exercise ball. Back then, after I took him out, I almost always found him
and the ball covered in pee. He used to do the same thing in his exercise
wheel, too. Then he’d run, and the pee would get all over the place.
Thankfully that stopped.
*laffing at furst sentence*
I put my guinea pig into one once, and the cat thought it was a nifty toy!
For about 5 minutes. Lost interest. Then piggy figured out kat couldn’t touch her!
THE GUINEA PIG THEN BEGAN ROLLING THE BALL AFTER THE KAT!
Kat got tired of this *bump*, *bump*, *bump* stuff. Got offa floor, stayed offa floor!
Mai hammys yoost to chays mai goggie…hoo btw waz a growd-up bockser. theyd roll n2 him ovur and ovur until he tryed to hide unner the bed.
So I’m a sadist and a monster now?
Wow, shows how very little you know.
THANKS!
And the mouse is fine. As you can see in the picture, Cat doesn’t give a rip about the mouse. It looks at it and walks off to eat kitty kibble.
The mouse is PERFECTLY safe, since I live in a one story house with no stairs and Edward (the mouse) happens to not like running about fast.
I can has kinner sapryze? Tanks mawm!
http://www.kindersurprise.com/home.html
Love it! The kitty looks just like mine!
opposoble thumbs, I needs dem.
bettur van uh happee meel!!
Plastic coated hamster, raisins (ick) and suprize …
‘at’s whachoo get in hampyjack!
I love this!