u wont take meh alive coppahs
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: spooky
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
roadrunner is reely emu?
or is taht a ostrich? 1’s bigger tahn teh nudder.
Yeah, that’s a LOLstrich.
An kongrachewlayshuns 2 kittehlurve 4 a nawt sekond!
Lolstritchez of FYRE!
Sing it wif meh!
♪dun dun dun dun dunnnnn dunnnn dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnn♪
♪dun dun dun dun dunnn DUN dun DUN dun DUNDUN♪
♪DUN dun dun dunDUNdunDUNdunDUN dunDUNDUN dunDUNNNNNNN♪
♪DUN dun dun DUNdunDUNdunDUNdun dun dundun DUNDUN♪
>slo mo runninz along beechez,
eye feels teh pleshure of Ceiling Burd wehn I runs….
Ai can feel teh pleshure ov Nigel Havers …? … *cough* … mebbe nawt …
Mebbee its jus me but wen Ai starts singin teh Charyotsobfyre theem, Ai ends singin teh Thorn Burds ob Tikka!
took doz words outta mai mowt…
lash ah awwsham shongz!
i needz a hotdog
ROFL. Ceese n deesis!
BEEP BEEP!
pbbbbtttttt.
Hay, kittehlurve! How’s about for ur danse we does a kickline? We’ll all put on sparkly tuckseedo jackets wif tails and shortshortshort shorts to show off our leggs? O, anna tophat and hitheels of course.
Look out, Radio City Mewsic Lol!
Doez I haz 2? I haz nebbur had hiheelz.
I think teh mens in those big production numbers wares teh long pants wif a stripe down teh side and reggular (but sparkly) kinda shoos.
But if u wants to, u cans ware teh hiheels. Teh Lolkettes does not diskrimminate against cross dressers.
Only against cross low-burger givers.
Iz okai dehn; I goez strypee pantz an spanglee shooz. I nawt wantz to fawl obur an spoyl teh dans.
Ok, that’s good. Just make sure ur shoos are tied on good and tite. U don’t wanna has one go flying off when u kick and hit someone in teh hed or other fraggile boddy partz.
So far it’s just u and me on stage. We waits for moar dansers to fill out teh line. Meanwhile, we can just sway back and forth in teh spotlite, while teh oddience oohs and ahhhs at our sparkles.
oops … sorrie aim layte…. puff … pant … I gots the stripelish pantz and teh sporkly shooz. Ize in de line wif you guys.
[looks round]
naow wut?
I don’t knoes whare is everybuddy. They shudda beed here by now.
Why don’t u guise lift me up so I can clime up on teh lolcatwalk over teh stage and see if I can see whare they is.
*pb and p4t hoist lcb up, narrowly avoiding getting hurnyas*
*lcb climes up to lolcatwalk*
I see them! They’re all over there in teh nawty barn, gettin dressed. Wow. U can really see far from here! I must be reely hi up!
*gulps*
Uh-ohs. HALP!
oh NOES!! wayre ees taht round peepul catchy fingy!!
where r teh martoonis!!
wayre ees eberybody!!!!!!!!
we muss gets lolcatburglar daown!
Gascat! U is mah only hope. Prolly evrybuddy’s in teh next lolpic. Go gets them!
And make sure that that’s the round peepul catchy thingy and NOT — I repeat NOT — teh tramploline that we was gonna use in our LOLkettes produkshun number.
kthxiisuphi
wat u doin wai up der. LCB?
Did sumbuddy sai martoonis? Heer, ai bort teh nekkid irnin guy an Danyull Craig to help owt wiv teh drinkies. Ooh, nice sparklies, guyz, awltho’ ai is gettin dazzled bai dat mirrur bawl wai up hai…
Wayt, is nawt a mirrur bawl…. is lcb awn teh lolcatwalk warin seekwins – HOO LET LCB GET UP HAI???? Dis bery beeg prolm. Ai has a martooni while ai tinks of teh solewshun.
Oh, I’m just doing mah inkum tackses, why?
WHUT U THINK I IS DOING UP HERE??? HALP!!elebentyeleben!
Oh wow tehr is a big rown peepul catcher fingy rite heer awn teh stage! Seems a liddle bownseeyur dan eweshull, but ai is shoor it is okay. Jump, Lcb, Jump!!
noes SJ!! taht muss be teh tramploline taht lcb wuz tawlkin aboot, hu had teh REAL round peepul-catchy fingy last? whoebber it wuz GET THEM IN HERE NOW!!!!!!
Oh mai gourd, ur rite! Sowwy lcb, doan ju….. uh oh. Too laet.
*boing*
*boing*
naow whut, we has lcb in her sparkly clothes bouncing around, and tehres almost nowun else here! whut we does naow?
How many martoonies has u hads, SJ? That is not a big round peepul catcher thingy. That is a coaster made outta sillycones. Danyull Craig and teh YNIG donut wanna gets marks on teh stage from teh martoonie glasses. Why do you think u can holds it in ur hand?
*doppler effekt as lcb rickashays around stage*
H-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-L-L-L-L-L-l-l-l-l-l-p-p-p-p-p
oh noes!! sumbunny catch her!!
wayt, whe’s comin rite at me!!! halp!!!’
(gascat is knocked over by teh sheer force lcb’s richochet)
well, at leest she’s nawt bouncin’ round teh stage ennymore.
OH NOES poor lcb, wut o wut can we do?
Ai noze, ai has anotter martoonie.
stawp wit teh martoonis and THINK SJ! whut CAN we do?
LCB ! oooooh dat lukz lik teh fun……kan ai joyn u????
*climz up awn boncy fing*
ok erz wat we do….u bonce, an ai up ina ar…..
den ai bonc an U go up ina ar…..
LCB *bonce*………salleh *flyz ina ar*
salleh *bonce*………LCB *flyz ina ar*
ok ….noiaw…LCB…..u wanna try a summmerysalt wen u *flyz ina ar?*
Um, SJ? When u is done wif ur martoonies, luks up heer. Gascat borked mah bouncing, but I landed back up on teh lolcatwalk!
Sumbuddy better get teh CCC for gascat. Poor thing. Shudda ducked.
Ai finks mush bedder after a few martoonis….
Ai gets kwait creeative.
Soooo…… lcb has bownsded awf gascat an wus last seen flyin owt teh window …. butt forchewnitly, her spangly lycra cawstoom got cawt awn teh nekkid irnin guy’s irnin bored, so enny minnit she shud….
*SPROINGGGGGGGG*
hmm… must type faster.
Everything happened so fast. I was crashing into gascat, then flyin out teh winder, then on teh irnin bored, then flyin back in teh winder and landing on teh lolcatwalk.
I is dizzy now. And still stuck! HALP!!!!
We’s finkin hard, lcb. In teh meentim, ai sings yew a song to taek ur mind awf tings.
Sumware ober teh raynbow, way up….. no.
Do ai lubs u, my o my, ribber deep, mowntin h…. no.
I bleev ai can fly, ai bleev ai can tuch teh ….. mebby nawt dat wun eider.
How bowt teh feem from “Ossifer ana Gentlmun” – Lub lifts us u…… sowwy.
LCB: I gess youse neber been inna theater fly space. Teh lolcatwalks has doors or ladders wear dey connex to teh walls. So jus walk, berry caerfullee, to wun ov teh walls an see if deres a liddle door or a ladder. Teh door wont be lokded cause dats a saeftee rool. If yoo don see wun, go to teh ovver wall.
Vry funny, SJ. Vry funny.
Srsly, I lol’d.
Maus, now that I has landed in teh next picshur, thx for ur advice. Too bads I faynted befoar I could try it.
U is rite: I has never been in a theeyater flyspot before. For some unknown reezun teh stagepaws donut allows me up there.
*scratches hed in wonder*
Wowser. I goes to do sum werkwerk. I spets to cum back fer teh big danz numbror. Now we gots the martoonis, Daniel Craig, irnin, trampolines, spotlights, martoonies (dids I menshun teh martoonies), and lcb trappid on teh catwauk in de spangeley cawstoom.
I pix a bad afternooon to has to werk. I can has martooni?
oooh i gets in line tew! iz ok iffn i nawt tall? wants to be a LOLkette fur dis danz.
i is heer butt nawt werin hi heels! runnin shuz n jeens.
JITBM and KL, LukOwt! LCB is rite abuv yu, awn teh LOLcat walk! She has com ober awl faynt, form teh hite an it luks lyk shes awbowt to……
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*pauses for bref*
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Run gurls! Run! Gascat, is yu awayk yet? Ai kno LCB aksidentilly nokked yu owt wen she bownced awn yu – but Ai tink yu is coming rownd. An torkin ob “rownd” Ai has teh rownd peepul catchy tingy heer, if Ai fro it lyk a frisbee can yu catch it an balans it ober tohse silly cone coesters…..
Wat we hab heer is failure to nomnumicate!
LCB – Iz ober on teh next picshur tryin to get the Cheez Peep Reskew Teem togebber!
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*checks ristwatch*
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*kleens fingernails*
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Woodchuck and I hab a plan on the next picshure that isn’t entirely based on martoonees.
LCB, Fank Gudness ur a slo faller.
Wow! LCB is fawlin heer AN on teh necks pikshur! I needs to clone maiself!
Is ok, guise. I has landed safely in teh next picksur.
Only thing that is injoored is mah dignity and mah feelings. Here I is, dressed in a sparkly tuckseedo and shortshortshort LOLkette costume wif teh top hat and hi heels, and woodchuck thinks I is a *sob* boi!
But woodchuck did provide a cooshy landing spot, so I guess I cannot beez too mad.
LCB, in awl fairness to Woodchuck, I waz blockin teh view until juss a milisecund befor impact. Awls well dat lands well.
BTW, u do luk bery nise awl dressed up. Ummm…u mite wanna pull ur shortshortshort costume down juss a liddle on teh bottom…oops too mush dere…nao a liddle up on teh top…OK dat’s nise. This iz a fambly site, u noe.
{{{{{LCB}}}}}
Glad ur safe again.
Thx again, Romeow. I didn’t realize mah costoom was too revealing. I diddent means to be, um, cheeky.
Iz sorreh I wasn’t here – I know teh people catchy thing is mai job.
*Hangz hed in shayme*
In my defense, I borked a toof on Tuesday, an funneh + borked toof dont werk to gud togevver. So I is a day behind y’all an speed reedin to catch ups.
But mai new filllin (itz a big one) is still awl sparkly new, so I fitz in wit teh spangly costooms.
R yu shure itz not a llama?
(xtra cheez to anywun who knows what movie that’s frum)
butt! ah don HAVE brake lites!!! tehy cant be owt!!!
Win!
All I can think of is that this reminds me of the ostriches en-pointe in Fantasia.
Mebee dey kan dans wif Hippo Man.
I meen Hippo Dude.
An allygators?
Me Got another Baby to deliver…. …Doggone Stork is on vacation dis’ week
iz owtta heer….
yooz can kiss mah fethurs g bye !!!
Run, Forrest, run!!
Deer Gawd, maek meh a burd, so I cans fly fah fah awae…
Ok, nawt dis kynd of burd.
yoo rathr be lolpneguin? then yoo SWIM fah fah awae …. butt probly be very very cold … yoo nawt mind, huh???
Lolstrich!
FLY AWAY E.T.! FLYYYYY!!!
The runner from Australia in the Pan Asian Games being escorted in to the finish…when asked how he did it, he said “Ah, no worries mate! Got a beer on ya?”
Headlines: “Fashion Police Escorts Runway Model”
Run-away Model?
bebbeh, u with those curves an me with no brakes -
if i kood rearraynge teh alfabet, i wood put u and i together . . .
Ostrich: Don gimme no lines…AND KEEP YER HANDS TO YERSELF!
(Don mek me kik u to the moon bubblehead!)
Ossifer Copafeel: but lookee heer, i gots a warrint for one Bird, Q.T., data bird nineteen sexynine, six foot two, two-twenty, blond and blue, legs to china . . .
Ossifer Copafeel: but lookee heer, i gots a warrint for one Bird, Q.T., data bird nineteen s3xynine, six foot two, two-twenty, blond and blue, legs to china . . .
jorja sattylites FTW
u can hearz meh, kowalskih?
Poor thing, it’s prolly so skerd.
i sekkond that emushun
O noe! No throw ammo on emo emu!
(Yes, I knoes it’s a lolstritch. Artistic license. I exercises it.)
poelees ofcer on moped: “artistic license and registration pleeze. Youz creeaything way beyonds teh speed lmits.”
onleee teh long arm of teh law kitteh frum yestuhdae can restoar orduh!
kome bak long armoftehlaw kitteh, yore our emu’s hoape!
*Hands ossifer license and regostrtchation wif a folded-up money on top*
Here, ossifer. I wants to be in compliance. Maybe we can take cares of it heer. In Brainerd.
Yer creative license and teh regostritchation seem tu be in teh owrders here. Least taht’s wut Mr. Franklin sez.
[tucks fowlded monie into pawcket]
jus makes soor in teh fewcher nawt to biolate teh ordynances bout teh puns, teh duplex entenders, an such thingies. We takes cayre of eberything. In… where wuz dat … Braynerd? Brainurd? Brainherd? dunno tihs playce.
[vrooom. occifer drives off into sunset]
Heh, heh. Silly ossifer. He diddent notice that teh picshur on teh money wasn’t teh Ben Franklin. It was teh Bonnie Franklin.
I lubs mah artistic license!
lol lcb!
unfortunabbly Mr. Franklin nebber sez dat aroun Chicawgo…..
Wut duz taht cop fink he’s gunna do iffen he reeches owt and akshully grabs the burd? Hang awn to it’s nek? Jump off his mowped an clim on teh LOLstrich’s bak?
Awlso, LOLstriches run REELLY fast, liek 40mph .. is nawt sayf for him to ryde that fast and nawt luuk ware he’s goin! LOL…
plus, i fink lolstricth can kick powlees occifer into next week ifn he wans tu. maykes bunny kicks ov death luk layk widdle wuv taps.
poelece ofershur, in dis kayse, failz.
Oh, yesh, u wants to heer a gross storee? Ob corse u do.
I wurks for a meddical jurnal, an we publish articuls abowt teh ofta… offtha… eyeballz.
Wun articul we dids a whyl back wuz abowt a ostrich farmur who wuz repaering the fence arownd teihr pen, an a ostrich caem ovur an kickdedd his faes. Teh guyz eye gawt all swollin an huge and BAMMO busted rite owt his hed.
Srsly. True storee. Wuz very gross. I has pitchers.
Ackshully, teh graetest part wuz, teh writur sent us a picher of a lolstritch foot, an teh picher wuz lyk 40 inches wyd.
Ebree wuns in a whyl, I pull it up on teh computur screen (it cuvurs teh whole ting) and go, “ehy” to mah assistunt, an he turns arownd and tehre is a GIANT LOLSTRITCH FUT.
lulz
I has anuthr storee lyk dat abowt a big lolspidur, but mebbe saevs dat wun for anuthur dae.
as a ofther ub de paepers sumtimes, ai happie to noe taht at leest wun uv de jernals is quipped wif de staff wut noes de lolspeak. nawt to menshun bein cheezfrens. Iz gud thing, I finks.
ha ha lol thats a good one
Haha I love those birds!
Ai used tu until ai read SarahD’s commint abuv. Nao ai nawt so shoor. Ai likes mai eyeballs in mai hed wehr ai can see ‘em.
LOLZ
Beeg bird astonishd at new sesame street law nforsmint polisees.
Honist officer ai didden eben noe dere was a speed limit!
puhlees is gud jobs tu meet chikks
still affer dekades
konspeerisists doubt it wuz
Lee Harvey Ostrich
Ur “single pullet” theery. Let me debunk it.
ai fink dat waz teh “majik pullet”
I was gonna said that but I googloled it first (becaws I takes mah comminting here vry srsly) and it looked like they was teh same thing and moar hits on toppic said “single pullet”, not majick.
yet sand wuz foun in th3 book desuppository…
and scat wuz foun at teh grasseh nole
Yoo wanna peece uv me? I’ll leeve yoo a liddel sumthin. Awl over ur shiny bike!
I gots story about lolstritch.
Wen mah dotter was ’bout 3, we went 2 zoo to see animalcules. We was sooooooo late. So I putted her on my sholders and ran to first enclosure–the lolstriches. De BIG DADDY osterich thought we was invading osterich (no lol for him!) and pooffed up all his feathers and flap his wingers and wave hees head like eggcited snake and hissed reel loud. He ran up at us sooooooo fast. He 9 foots tall, has beeg, hard feets and MAD–I reely glad for beeeg fence. It was SUMPIN’
I tryed again later, different month, same thing. Osterich look at us like “Who you? big deal” and goed back to stalking around lady lolstrich.
So I not think this osterich skeered. They akct funny when dey skeered or angry or enyting. An they BEEG.
Same dotter tell me about ICHC. Yay dotter!!!
I joins you in teh yay!
U has gud dotter!
Mother of God, is this the end of Emu?
Dis wuz totalee best wun on teh voting payge fur dis pic!! I luffs wen dat happns, speshly cuz lots uv reepeet joeks been on dere laytely – voting payge not as gud n e moar. I tinx, n e way. But dis wun maykes meh lafffff!!!
That’s the wrong technique.
Officer must get a lance
and strike from above.
/Joust ftw
iz dis teh Loldrunner?
woh, dat taekz meh bak… i yoozta luv dat gaem on owld Maccintawsh, maed ma own lebilz an evryting. how dis ozterch dig hoelz, tho?
He digs them teh most, Daddy-O.
feetz dont falye me noaw !
I havingz hard tyme. I rite stuff, peeps pai me some tymes. Kitteh Talk keep crawlin in. Is funz, but…….
I feelz like osterik in moto cicle paradez. Sigh.
Hai os the dancing still on i got my strpy panst and slpocky shoehs
Duz neboddy NO where dis pic frum? Iz curious.
Ostrich J Simpson is lukin for teh motaway onramp
%#!@ It’s Birdzirra! Must protect Tokyo!
not even if i fallz ovar!
sumwun needz 2 do one of these w/ chuck norris face liek teh mt. doo comershal…wuld be teh soo cools
LOL!
two feet are quicker than two wheels