let me splains dis to u one more times
u haz my daughter home by 11…klear?
Yes sir! (But Badboy kitteh will takes ur dauter to partay…)
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: mark
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
n no kissin!
Congratulations Kittehlurve!
tankee! duznt happn so offen. depens on hoo werdpress lieks taht day wen 5 or 6 peeps post at saem tiem.
No kissin or els i takez ur hrblz!
hilarious
Dadcat lays down teh law!
How dis kitteh have sykik time-trabbel windoe into Tessie’s teenage datin years (sutch az dey were)? And how he noes mai dad?
congratumicayshuns on nawt-second!
but no one is performing a danse yet
iz everybuddy wayting for mornin caffeen to kick in?
maybe a waltz, purrformed to teh theme of “Da Godfather”?
Kittehlurve!! Yay! Mind if I doo a little dants too “Wake up, little Suzy” ?
ooo yessss!! likes yur danse toon better!
mebbe letz do the lindy?
evrybuddy on teh danse florr plz!
danse all u wants!
Oh, congratz to yoo, kittehlurve!! Verree nice indeed!
An ai luvs teh lindy. Iz wun ov teh danses taht I can akshullee do!!
so – ai a doing the lindy fur yoo, kittehlurve.
*danse, danse, danse, twerl twerl, danse, danse, danse* Whooo Hooooooooooo!
Pray for Peace – or for food.
We kan haz whirild peas? Achsullee, naw, maek daht cheezbrgrz & unyun ringz!
An curly freyze. An a cold Tree Frog Beer. An chawklit cake. An … well, now dat ai finks on it, mebbe some whirlid peas wud be good too. Yep, we can uses taht. Ktnxbai.
Such as – South Afrikka- and the Iraak an’- such as- teh kittehs-such as..
an Kenya an Darfur an Pakistan an Afganistan an. . .
oohs, i finely got dis- Miss Souf Caroliynah, rite?
I has a shotgun an I aint afraid of goin bak to jail…
in Soviet Russia…….
jail goes to you?
purtee much…
Dis bees mah Daddykitteh.
Teal leather couch? *snerk*
Dekorator Kitteh sez:
Lemme splains to u, DIS is ecksample of NonIronic Plaecement of Uglee Cowch. Donnot do dis aggenz, k?
…An pleez to repaynt teh wallz.
But duzzint da cowch popcat aginst da rest uv room?
ai amemberz da erlee 80’s flooreedah peech-n-teel kulur combos – verree beechee.
Is not lethur. Is naugahyde. From teh endanjurred Naugabeest of Suthern Naugland.
Since teh Nagas r nao endangered, teh industree habs turned to teh Pleh animals dat still exsist in large numbers.
Captive breeding programs of the Pleh hab been so suxcessful dat hunting of wild Pleh is selldumb dun ennymoar.
Plehleather is juss az durable as leather an nagahyde, but wifowt teh environmental and social concerns. Bee responsible – buy Plehleather.
WIN!! But Ai tink Ai’ll stik wit fabrik uphols… uphold… covering on the cowtch.
Lolz!! you sed Naga an I finkd uv WoW. dey’s wun uv da origunul munsters in da gaym. Mebbe aye needz to stop wif da wowcrack…
Hey, dere, now, snerky!
I thot was raddur prettee! In fact, I thought the color of the wall was an unusual compliment (rust and teal) and was admiring it!
tahts wut I thot too. compliment cullers.
I liek teal, too. Teal fur tew…
Izn’t teh moss important fing, iz that teh couch compliments teh kitteh?
Couch: Mai kitteh, ur luking fetching tonite.
Kitteh: .
Kittehs doan speek to fings beneef dem.
Romoew, joo maded me lol twice in wun thred!
evr esspeereeyense teh poyntee endz, jimmee?
an doan call me jimmieee!!
hmm……..Shirley that was right?
It wuz rite…an stop callin me Shirley!!
ai iz allus rite , an stop cawlin me Shirley
Ohhh salleh…obveeuslee teh grate minds tink alike, no?
**nods head sagely and winks**
OK abracadarbracat…….now we has to link up r liddled pinkies an say at teh saem tiyme.
“neeeduls, pins, tripleuts ( ao s*** , ai cantz memberz teh nex werd !
“when a man marries,hiz trubbulz beginz”
well…..teh paphoooey !!! !iz been wai too miny yeerz sinse my kitnhood, an ai fine ai onli memberz partz ov fingz….
ai noes der iz sumfing ur suppoeded to sai when u sai teh saewm fing at wunce….
aniwun member wat it iz ???
Um…I allways seys, “Jinx!! Buy me a Coke!”
Or other standard caramel-colored, carbonated beverage if copyrite infringements are an issue theez daiz…..
growin up taht wuz “Tabs on Coke”.
oar “pinsh, poak, yoo owz me a coak”
Us sez (caws we doan liek Coke) “Creem of Sodah!”
I am ode menny menny Creems of Sodah bai now.
4th wrd is “Twinz”?
Wwen we wuz kittihz we sed:
“What goes up the chimnee? …Smoke.
What comes down the chimnee? Santa.
I wish I wish I wish this wish will nebber be broken!
den you boath pulls and whozever little finger dunt leggo, gets teh wish.
awww warm fuzzies……..loves it
)
ai bettz teh missin’ werd iz “twinz”. jus cuz it rymzez.
twinz.
needlz, pinz, tribblets, twinz.
ceiling cat on hai, pls helps mai mommeh wins teh lottery.
And Ceiling Cat said: meets me hafway, u gets mommeh buys ticket pls. kthabai
ob corss!
I haz her home, dun wowy
Eevil Mastermynd cat eez Eevil mastermind-ing….
ai b’leeve itz spellud “mastermyndering”. jus eff-wy-ai.
givz me remowt an nowun getz hert.
Moderator kitteh asking queshuns in the presidenshul debatez?
So is true that Uz and your sidekick kittehs is going around spreading rumors about orinj ones being poizon?
Ifz it tu pleez teh cort, we haz teh prufe riet heer …
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/poysin-mouses.jpg
*GASP*
But does we knos fur sure the kitteh is dead, I sayz is just napping.
He’z ded, Jim.
this kitteh is deceased!
he is no moar!
Hees pynin fur teh feeyords
he has gorn to meet his maeker
Pynin fur the feeyords??
Wut sort of talk iz dat?
He iz an ex-kitteh!
Da onlee reezun da nipmowsee remaynd in hims paws wuz it had bin NAYLD der!!!
I has a shotgun, shuvul, pikuptruk, n 200 aykurz ov denslee wooded land owt n teh midl ov nowarez.
N E kweschuns?
No sir, in fact I bringz back your dauter at 9pm.
in fact…ai jus leeves her here wiff yous…
kthxbai! [whoosh]
…most xcellent repli…u winz!1!
sadlee, mai daddeh never had to do teh curfew tawlk- teh boyzes wud kthnxbai wen tehy sawed me.
oar twenee minnets layter wen ai started seein teh pixies an nomes…
iz awl gud tho- ai has a boifren naow! himz fambly met me an wuz ‘parrentlee shokkded to fynd a gurl so much lyke him. funneh thing- himz sistr-in-law set us up. bestest hafblynd dayt ever…
u haz mayd me an offer ai cannot refuze
ur nose…I has it….but is tryin to get uhway
“only teh running knows…”
Noze runs, feets smells…. I tink I bilt upsyde downs…
I caught a fly, i swearz.
it had a flavur….pleh!!!
Lol, it also looks a bit like he’s praying…
dat’z rlly weerd, considering that heez a cat; shuldn’t he be “predit-ating?”
well, no, eye guess he culd be “preying” iffn heez a preditor, even, as long as there is a prey to prey on.
A liddul halp, pls? Pointy ends seem to be stuk togevver.
Kitteh thot teh Sooper Gloo was teh paw lowshun…
O hai, jpet! I hopez u r hazzing a gud dae!
Alwais! Yoo?
Meh, nawt reelly. I is tyrd of teh wedding planeng alreddy. Too muchs yelling.
Bad parent! I insist daughters home by 9!
butt daddddddddddddd I am twenty six——— cut the apron strings already….. heehehe
Gayla minds me uv storree frum missts uv tyme. Mai muvver wuz daytin sum menz – an liek all menz sum gud an sum pleh.
Wunce long tymez ago wun uv dese menz fone howse to speek to muvver wen I iz home. I saiz helo XXX, I getz mai muvver to da fone.
XXX sai – doant u fink u shud call me UNKLE XXX?
I sai – Ize twenty six XXX.
Reeder, she marryd hym.
PLEH.
I iz swy — lets replace that pleh memory……okay?
Next time u think of it……hmmm…….picture hyim in purples underware on the Price is Right……..
Gayla34 – brillynt idea – purple underwear. Shud maek sangrail smile again!!
Sorree, sangral. So offen teh pleh wunz ar piked. Teh reeson may remayne a mysteree fur awl tiem.
UNKLE!!! as in EWWWWWW!!
Ummmmmmmm???? update???? Did tehy stay marryded?
Too troo dat teh pleh wuns is pikd. Mai mudder has pikd four ob dem (nawt inklewdin my daddy hoo is nawt pleh). Ai has nawt cawld NE ob dem “unkle” oar “dad” – moslee ai refer to dem as “mai mudder’s husband”. If ai refers to dem at awl. (oh, dat’s four of dem in sucksesshun, nawt four of dem at teh same time. we is nawt teh mormuns).
An awn teh subjek of teh pleh guyz – der is a guy at werk hoo refers to his wife as “teh current Mrs Rxxxx”. Ai hope wun day she poisuns him.
Awlmost sertin to!
“We is nawt teh mormons” LOL
taht is teh funneh! (and ai is teh mormon, fyi),
wanna see mai horns?
too bad- theyz holdin mai halo up!
Long tyme ago I haved boss who wuz teh pleh 4 so many reezons.
Frend said pikshur eevil boss on stage in Las Vegas…
in pink tootoo…
singing Feelings.
I stil kwitted job furst chanse I got, but dis helped.
Michele Roberts ref, FT… Teknikelly WIN, but… todul Pleh sitchuwayshun.
*skritches hed*
Win fer U
Pleh fer Tehm!
Taht guy obveuzly haz nawt red teh Hamlet. Mummas shuld nawt marree ur Unkels! Bad fings happin.
Mobe owt alreddy!
starling – I moovd owt wen ai wuz sebtenteen – u nebber vizit ur muvver?
sangrail obviously a GUD chil…….still visits da parentals…..dutifly ( I do too! — and I have to drive ovar an hour jus to seez them!
) )
I can has move in wif you then???
Akshully yes. Maibeez too far frum ur fambly and kittehs tho?
oh……mai kittehs go wit me — we are package deal! ;D)
gayla – ai cannawt believ ai donut noe- shirlee yoo has sayed sumtime an ai haz just furgotted. Hao menee kittehs doo yoo hav – an whut ar they?? an their naymes???
Great! Just liek mas mom–I likes dis a lot!
kitteh dreemin bowt redo of dekorashun skeem.
“Hmm. ai fink shredded lether cowch will bee in this spring”
eef she nowt home by 11 tehn ai will send her 5 brudders n 30 haf-brudders owt to luk for u both. klearer?
onlie 30? yu is nawt tryin Dadcat…
u tol yer daddee iz get u hom, but u dint say i had no carrrrrrr…
Ai saw a kitteh, he wuz standin alone wif a tadpole in a jarrrr.
kitteh iz confoozed by teal cowch, finks he bout to div inna pool…
Now I layz me downs to sleep, I preh da…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Nap Attack!
cowch potatoe (Quail spelling ha) kitteh reaches out to plead wif you——
Leave Crazy Brittney alone——–for God’s sake…….leave her alone!!!!
AH leeb teh Britnee aloan; saym wit Linsay, and Amy Whynehauz!
And yes both “H”s in Whinehouse are meant to be there.
An just hoo heer awn ICHC is reelee gonna notice yur kyoot Quail spelling? Eggsactlee – must be poynted awt!!!
What a grate playce!
Yesh pleez, do leev her lone!!!
Funnee, I made a LJ entree awn dis hole ting aftur watchin da nooz bowt it da uvver day:
jinx-of-2ndlaw.livejournal.com/
(Keerful, sum entreez is NC-17!!! Iz ma angree blawg…)
deer god…
pleez to be sendin me “Estreem Home Makeober?” pleez?
kthxamen!
excellent
yeah, my thoughts exactly!
Dang! I keep pushin teh remoat, wy won’t TV Turn on?
uhm……*blushes*…..ai hav , awn moar dan wun okkashun, been poyntin teh remoter at teh TV, an gettin reel upsetz cuae iz nawt werkin……
“ai jest changeded teh batteriz… stoopy fing”….den ole boifren takz oawt ov mi han, trunz it round , an
…oh, heh heh …..seemz to b werkin jest fien noaqw fanks……..
*hidez unner teh pillo*
Mah muvvur haz nu remoat, daht onlee wurkz teh TB iv is nawt poynted @ teh set!
R big reemot problum heer is we has abowt 8 uv dem! Dis wun turns awn tv an wurks da caybull. Dis wun wurks da dvd playur, dis wun fur da VCR, dis wun da TV main remote. Dis wun fur da laserdisc player (yes, it wurks, an yes, we yooz it!). Dis remote shaypd liek a phaser pistlol, haha. O, heerz da wun fur da borkt VCR…. Nao in da bedroom we has…. etc etc
Sumtiemz hubbee tayks reglar reemot into uvver room. Sigh. R it goze into cowch cooshuns. Sigh…
An dey’r awl blak. Sigh.
wunz, wehn ai wuz going awn vacashun, ai putted labelz awn ebbrething fur mai Mom. Werkz reelee well, akshullee.
ai wantz teh phaser pistel…
foar mai mom to go wif hers ork-hed huntin troeffy, an teh rest uv hers phasers…
Unh-huh. I doz dat too. An sumtimez tryz to change de channel wif de tellyphone.
mai mudder and mai fadder used to cawl me late night to comze ovar and “Fix” deir tv it be brokes….(used to live cross street from them) I go ovar…….and PLUGSSSSS TV IN………HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO It happens cereal times…..droves me crZy….. lolz
omg i fot ai wuz duh onleeist wun woo duz dat!
Mai remoat kwit werking all of a suddenly-liek. I tride evverfink, but no good. It wud werk wehn I wud stand up and leen awl ovver teh playce. Teh tek guy caim frum teh caybul cumpeny to luk. He wuz stym… stiemy… cuden’t figger it owt either. He replaysed teh thingy in teh TV taht picks up teh sigginul frum teh remoat. But still it ackted wakky sometiems.
Truns owt taht I had gotted a noo lamp foar to help with teh crow-shay-ing I du. Onna hai setting, it messes wif teh sigginul frum teh remoat. Wif lamp onna low sedding, remoat werks fien! Caybul guy sed he had neffer scene such a thing, but he tuk it rite in stride. He sed he had scene awl soarts of weerdness in his job, and tihs was just one moar.
[clawsnik]
[clawsnik]
[clawsnik]
[clawsnik]
[clawsnik]
…
jes lyke Alien Beachball Thing in teh Dark Star… bess vido ebr!
I did receive an instruction to deploy.
I lurvd Dark Star! Surfin into at-mouse-fear….
Pleh. Now Benson Arizona song iz stuk in mai heds.
now i lays me dwn to slep I prays to Bast my fuds to keep.
Nao I jus haz wun kweschun, yung man.
Ar yor intenshuns honorabul?
defyne ‘honorabul.’
aize nawt gettin trippd bai yer liars ol-man.
* fone reengs in bakgrown *
hyoomin anser fone: Heloo?
kitteh on cowch prayz sowftlee: hgtv..hgtv..hgtv..
hymoomin voz: Wat? WHO?? Kandis?!?!?! WOW!!!!! KTHXBAI!!!
kitteh on cowch still praying sowftlees: kthxthxthxbai!
how divine!
iz divine intervenshin?
Moe humin parunts nede 2 b this wai!
Sumtyms mai Dad didunt eben need to do teh lekchur: He wus skool teecher;Prymery, lidl chilluns, but fore a lawng tym. Wun dai, in owr teen yeers, a Nyu Boyfren caem to pik mai sis up. Dad opens teh door, boyf recognysis former teecher “Hallo Sir” “Hallo former poopil”. Boyf so intimmydayted, sister not get 2nd dayt!
Dat remines mee ub joke.
A young man had been seeing his gurlfren fur sum time and after hee met her parents fur dinnur, had hopes ub “furdduring dere reelashunship.”
So dat day hee went too teh pharmacy too buy teh appropriate muteereeals. He asked teh pharmacist all kines ub qweshuns an tole him happilee all bowt his intenshuns.
Dat nite at teh dinnur tabul wif girl’s parents, beefore eeting, he offured to say grace. He spent a lowwwwwnnnnggg time, an sed a verreh byootiful impressive, touching prayer. When over, gurlfriend looked at him and sed wif awe, “I not noed u wuz so relijjus.”
Him looked back at her an sed, “I not noed ur dad wuz a pharmucisst.”
*snert*
must kleen up – tee all obers puter now!!!
Haha, hilarious.
cwap on! cwap Off!!
Wai this nao wurk?
Wurk fur teh crazee ol laddy ona TV
Wait….hoose howse is thios?
See-Nile? Der no ribbers heer laydee, whutchoo meen? Whar am I?
Haha, the picture association worked out really well on this one! Those cats really do look alike!
(Sry for no lolspeek… I r lazy.)
omglofl
I tink vee can helpf ju, joost layz doun on zee coushe und tels me ol oof joor troobvles, jah? Don be fraidz! Vee ist und psykittehologist.
ur teh sykee wut olly jist, naow?
German lolspeek! I lurves it!
You can has ChzFreud?
Excellent!!
Dear Ceiling Cat, Plz to be furgibbin mai sins. I are sorry fur skratchin the goggie’s nose (eben doh he deservded it), eatin teh houseplants, drinkin the hooman behbeh’s milk, knockin ober mommeh’s Ming vase…
You can has the case, deal or no deal?
sry no i kilz her an puts her on te hiway