keep it up and no cookies! hrmph. (ok, u too kyoot, jus 1 cookies)
picture: vernlicious with cat Sophie Jiggles. lol caption: Janet Kain
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resipee callz fr wheat cat! can’t u rede?
in soviet russia, wheat shreds you . . .
Along wif toidee paypurr….
Ah awlwaiz sez teh Rushyun Reberz wuz jst sleepin!
kitty was origionally black, but got antiquedid
iz allwais blak kittehs jobz 2 rol in teh flowr. iz wite kittehs job 2 rolz in teh cocoa powdr! iz evry kittehs jobz 2 spillz sum karo syrupz or molassiz or eagl brand cndensd milkz & steps in it & jumpz down on2 flor.
karo sirupz iz teh bestest cuz peepz no can seez kitteh feet printz & stepz in dem & sez EWWWWWWWWWW flor is all sticky. nao iz has 2 mop florz. DO NOT WANT! but kitteh is allredy cleenz pawz & went undr bedz or in clozits 2 hide until peepz no is mad & aggro nemoar.
cngratdumachinashuns on nawt sekund.
has you a rekwest fur a danse?
teh owd Anne Murray tune “you kneaded me” purrrhapz? (fur the muzak)
lol, whatever dants u feel lyke. mah furst nawt sekund!
Dat wud be ur nawt-sekund nawt sekund. Mah hed spins at teh thot. Mayzwell follow it.
*spin spin spin ow*
shudda kep mah eyes open
Ai’m spinnin arownd…
wheeeeeeeeeeeeee….
Joo spin me rite rown baby rite rown…
Oh sorry
Joo kneaded me
Joo kneaded me
O darn, NEbuddy no hao to get kawfee owt of teh keebored?
Kitteh be the sweetening agent for da baking.
dunno bowt dat. axeptz no syoogur subztitoots: dey b leavin wired aftur taysts
tru.
Ai ackshully likes teh weerd aftur taysts…..mmm, artifishul!!
Swirl, Tap, Buff for a Flawless Complexion!
mmmm – lightly flourd kitteh – delishus
Iz do da kneeding fur u cause iz xpert ats it
iz kitteh glooten free?
Nawt a fat cat, so must nawt be a glootin….
awwwwww! i geddid!! teehee
Mebee a glootin fur napzzzz, an gushi fud, an snorgles, an shiiiiny fings.
luks prity smug but Ai wudnt sai kitteh’s akchully gloetin…
Instant kitteh! Just add flour, water, and stir until desired fluffiness
‘Ai floofy nuff yet?’
U no has to put dough in warm oven to proof.
I halp an keeps it warm fur u.
I tell u wen iz double in size.
Den, I do pushy paws on it fur u.
Dere’s no wai u cud do dis wifowt meh.
I acept cheezburgers fur paymint.
“pushy paws” mayds me LoL Romeow!
yeah sumwun shood rite dat wun dwon !!!……kudoes to u Romeow !!!
Ai wud think everee bakeree/caekeree wud need a kitteh halper liek this.
yah, tu halp bai inkreezin teh fybar kontent
Mai kitteh Gypsy liekd to sleep on teh bred doe in teh process of rizin.
I’m graitfull fur mai kichin-hepler kittehs. I wunce had a mixxur taht wuz puzzes….pozes….controlt by teh debil. sumtymes teh mixxur wud fleeng globza caek mix or pudeeng ALL OVEH teh kichin, an I jus hollar “Kitteh-boiz 2 teh kichin!” an heer com teh mos thoro kleen-up croo I cood eva hope fur! I suspec kittehs axully misst teh mixxur wen I diskardid it.
After walkin in litta box?? No fanks!
heyheyheyheyHEY!!!!!!! we iz kittehs. we is teh cleeeeeeeeen aminalz. we is allwais washz teh pawz b4 we is startz cookin.
Kitteh adds teh fluffee to teh cayk!!
CCC heer ifn u needs teh CHRG(wdoi)!
Everything tastes better with a leetle kitteh fluff! Just ask my co-workers. They’ve eaten enough of it in my baking….
LOL & NOM!!!i
Eberting tastes mo’ better, eberting luks mo’ better, eberting smels mo’ better wit kitteh floof. I keeps a assortment ob flavors and colours on hand (& paw) at all tiems!
LOL! So haz my fambilee.
“Uh, this has cat hair in it…”
“S’ok, no extra charge”
Doan u juss hate it wen teh co-workers starts hackin up furr balls affer dey eets teh birfdai caek?
I juss hate wen dat happens.
hehehe – oh yeah … cant tell yoo how much ai HAYTS wen dat happenz …. *looks inu … ino … nawt gilty*
I tellz cumplanin co-wurkerz taht nex tyme I’ll jus use Laxatone or CatLax 4 teh icing!
wen i wuz in ur collidj gettin all edjamatayted & stufs, lotsa meen greedy peeps wus use to steelz othr peeps f00dz owt ov teh fridj. 2 of us iz gos 2 stor & gets teh exlaxx & den maded choklit cup caekz & puts it in sum ov teh cup caeks but not in all ov dem.
we iz keep cup caeks wif no exlaxx in our r00mz & tells our frenz com 2 our r00m & u can has g00d cup caekz but u no tellz ne1 els & we leevs cup caekz wif exlaxx in fridj wif big sine DO NOT TOUCH.
2 greedy evol peeps eated teh exlaxx cup caeks & got gynormus stummick ach & wuz in teh baff room all dai. =ROFLmeow!=
Kitteh hayr R a kondymint!
lol i forgetted abowt teh CCC an teh CHRG(wdoi)!!
no, i fink mai sran rap contaynd dis owtbrake.
i’m good, fanks.
mebbe nex tiem?
343GuiltySpark…u b careful.
Iz dangerus territory round heer.
is truly kewt kitteh. mebbe bester to be be safe ‘sted of sawry.
[peeeeels off duck tape]
[fastens CHRG onda hed]
OK naow, thnx
Kitteh Loaf
2 cups flour (white, wheat, black, marmalade, or mixed)
2 cups water
1 pkg kitteh yeast
Mix. Knead well. Set aside to rise. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PUNCH DOWN RISEN LOAF. FOR THE LOVE OF ELVIS, DO NOT PUNCH DOWN THE LOAF!
an don’t dangle things in front of the loaf, it will try to attack it
lolz @ loaf atakin teh danglin objekts!!!
tank yew fer ressipy, Seward! pleez advaiz me, iz it moar nootrishus tu add toona joos tu kitteh loaf? awr mebbe wun cheezberger fer ebbery kup ub flour?
If prepared correctly, the Kitteh Loaf will acquire its own nootreeuntz, including toona and cheezburgr. Normally, it will simply gain these from its environment, often via such techniques as, “waiting until the human leaves to let the dough rise,” and, “looking cute.” Also, please note that the Kitteh Loaf is not to be baked in the oven. A sunbeam or heating grate (or, in a pinch, an inconvenient lap) will do just fine. If taking the lap option, please ensure that said lap is being used for other important things at the time.
Seward, joo maded me lol so hard!
Eggsellent commet! Elebenty 12 burgers! An a partee hat! An a martoonee!
Elvis tanks u
Jess, ai doo!
Jess, ai duz!
I halp maked da bread! I gotz mad kneeding skillz!
litl red hen sez g00d kitteh, u can has bredd. all teh othr aminals is bee outa luckx. dey is haz 2 go 2 teh stor & byz teh wunder bredz. so htere. kthxbai.
“Ai iz furst in line 4 to lik bole.”
ewwwww- adn last!
kitteh sez: i go slide in snow nao? sposed to bee 6-12 inchez tonite!!
No, kitteh, Doughnt go!
We kneed you!
(kitteh prtendz nawt to heer stoopy joak)
chinchila cat is having a dust baf!
I neber gots tired ov wachin teh dust baffs.
ai iz furst in line 4 spoon!
i iz call dibs on beetrs form lectrik mixxr!
comic sans makes the kitty cry
comic sans make everyone cry
nawt me, unless iz comic sans funnee….
Da fonts, I nawt mind, essep da wite wif blak owtlion on wite bakgrown….
i no undrstanz y so mne peepz is hatez teh comic sans. is teh cute liek kitteh. i no lieks big ugly wite letrz wif big ugly blak outliens veri mush eethr. i can has elebenty twelv fontz in mai puter & so iz use all difrent wunz.
yez, babbeh kitteh, u helping.
u r my mold for my paypurr mashay prowjek.
MEOWCH!!!1!!! u is evol dmentd meenie hyoomin. y u iz wants du dat to kitteh? all furs is stickz 2 papar mashy. kitteh will be l00ks liek Sphynxkitteh. den u iz has to lissen to kitteh sing “iz 2 sexy 4 mai haer” untill furs is all growd agan.
Gray tiger wakes up….white….
“Am I in … heaven?!”
FLOUR! now das jus mean!!!
Kitteh iz reddee
2 help needz t3h bisskitt, bredd
or peetza pye doe
Flowurr feels so nyse
andz cool across Kitteh’z fur.
May stayz 4ebburr
Kitteh haz 2 stay
now. If herz getz up dayr willz
beez a vaypurr trayl
Jack.
Kitteh: “No. No cayk until we has cheezburger!”
(Internets stealin kittehs have taken mai internets agayn!)
Ai noticed yoo waz nawt heer – thot yoo mite hav been just bizzy.
Nope…jus been innerweb-less…but, eet’s all bettah now
iz pushin down teh puffiness wiff mah fluffiness !!
no-no
recipe says to floer katFISH
nowat kat-n-dish
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL !!!
kitteh sez sry, u sed cat fishz so i thot fishz is belong 2 cat & i eated it.
yeestkitteh izz rizin
dis kitteh well dun….no putz in oven !! : )
Rowlee powlee puddin cat iz not bein maed propurlee wif bred crumz…
luk at teh kyute. nawt teh mes
luk at teh kyute, nawt teh mes
cute kittehs iz meks cute mess! exept wen no can haz sandbockx. den is horibul icky stinky mess. DO NOT WANT!!!1!
wan cup of milk…check
wan cup flour…check
wan fluffy white kitteh…check
mefinks dat gray an whyt kitteh yoozd ta be blak an whyt!!
Hewwo, an welkoms to “Kitteh Kwizeen.”
Today on da shoh, we iz goin to be makin a Big Mess.
U startz wif one bag Flow-wur.
Den we tippy-tippy-taps de stuff until it big crazee clowd an we kan’t c.
Den we crys, “Momee! Momee!” an she maek it awl bettur.
Lat-r she maiks real cookeeys, an we gets eet ‘em!
awwwwww. i yam charmed.
(so lawng as i dont hafta cleeenidup)
Iz dis show on teh Fud Netwurk or Aminal Planet?
Nise vishual, D.R.
T’ankey-voo. Dis noo sho on de Aminal Pwanit. Is part ov “Programins by dah Aminals, foar de Aminals.”
Yes Muffin…u r my helper; teh bestest helper ever!
Silly kittenkat. Now u wants a bath.
Bath!!??!!! No! Do not want!
Ok…refraze dat…kitteh, u needz a bath if u tink u sleepz wid me.
NOM NOM !!
kitteh wontz nom nom NOW !!!
Kitteh has carbs!
Hope Marc Anthony duzzent see this – it wud bring bak bad memrees……
Dealer cat:
Cop it, cut it, push it.
In unrelayted news….. mysteeriyus wite pawprints awl ober teh rug….. polees baffld.
Iz Himalayin cat? Himalayin in de bowl…
*groan*
(ai hoap yu noez ai meenz it in a gud wai)
i can has wurd 4 ROFL & barf all at teh saem tiem? RORF? BARFL? nevr mindz. i tinks i iz jus go du it & l00ks it up in dixshunerry l8r.
Fire on the moun, run boys, run.
The devil’s in the house of the risin’ sun.
Kitteh in teh bread pin, pickin’ out dough.
“Granny, does your dog bite?”
“No, child, no.”
kitteh sed debbil, u jus com on bak if u evar wunna trys agen
i dun toaldju wuns, u sunuvabeech, i teh best das evar bleened!
Granny also says: “But don’t choo git awl fussed-up at me if this-hyar dawg baahts y’all. this-hyar ain’t mah dawg.”
mah parents has himalayin cat naemd coco
we sings dis song (to turkey in de straw)
Him a layin in on de floor
him a layin on the chair
him a layin on de sofa
Him a layin everyware
Him a layin on the bed
Him a layin on my pillow
Him a layin on my head
Resippee call for shugr, no? Me name Shugar!
So dat iz how u make a kitteh cake?