“Clerks” kittehs
make snide comments about U
b&w pictures always makes it haf moar drama
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: wordwhiz
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Cheezburger Network Blog
“Look at that sorry ensemble she’s wearing….sooo pathetic.”
“For real – it utterly BORES me to tears!”
gaaaroooo nose pickers are pleh!
that i mean it doesent matter what you wear
“clerks kitteh isn’t even sposed to be here today!”
looooooooool!
nutz, dat is wut i wuz gunna say!
And that’s what I *didz* say, at almost ‘zactly teh same time as rmg.
It was a photo finish and rmg won by a nose hair!
Copy of teh photo? Do not want.
Buncha savages in this town.
What smells like shoe polish?
…in a row?
*is waiting patiently for Dogma Kitteh*
I is not even sposedta be heres today.
Salsa shark?!!
-or-
I still have FDS in meh eye!
-or-
37!
-or-
Here comes kitteh, he’s, a ber-zer-ker….
I’ll stop now…
Kitteh! Bahzerker! Gurls tink sexay…
Stops lookin at lolcat pikchurs and git bak to werk yu lazee hyoomun!
:[
I _so_ needed that.
gahh!! second comment!
lolcat burglar was second! cookie won!
Boff comments bery funny. WE ALL da winners for habin da smart, funneh cheezfrens!
This one … jus had tu be.
Imagun tehm, playing HOCKEE???
“oh noes!
they usd up awl teh gatoraed”
Jay and Silent Bob kittehs strike back
Fealz sorta inti. inttim.intimad. scareded bi thez puddytatz pressionz, praps it be tyme I wentz to bedz.
Jay and Silent Bob kittehs: Stripe, Black.
Berry punny, LCB.
chick totally cheeted on u man
she called you brad
people say crazy s*** during sex. I once called a girl mom.
I…. oh. Nao ai has bery bery nastee mentul immij. Ai can has less graffik majjinayshun pls?
“::Gasp:: She jest rented a PORN videe-o!”
“No, it said CORN. Children of the C-O-R-N”
“Jest as bad.”
O GREAT BURGERS MADE OF CHEEZ AND TOFU IN TEH SKY.
Tomorrow is teh grate day – the day ov much celebrashuns fur the Furst Annibersary.
We give to yoo ar comminz an thanks fur maeking this wonderful hoam fur us.
HOWSOMEVER – tehre has been a TEURRiBUL disturbance in the Force. We ar missing wun ov our moast beloved famblee memberz – foar neerlee a month nao we has been wondering what it was taht maded him to leave us.
Nao we know – he didnt’ wantz to go. So – GREAT BURGERS – as a moast wunderful gift to us, teh Nashun ov Commenterz, fur this auspishous occasion – we fall to our knees and with uplifted hands and teh teers streeming frum ar ayes, we begs yoo to restore our deer Teho to us.
AMEN AND DO IT NOAW! But meebe he no wants to be restoreth.
Yes – he luvs us. He wud come bak if he cud. Fur us.
J4K, either u is beein 2 kryptic or I is beein too dense (mebbe both). Was there a insident I was unawares of, followed by poonitive action?
I miss Teho too, no matter what teh reezin is for his non-being-here-ness. When I was lurking in teh erly days his type of hyoomur in particular is what inspired me to start posting. It was mah distinct pleasure to spill a 16-ownce mowka wif extry spresso on him. In a nice way, I means.
Go to teho.vox.com and read the post for Jan 9.
wunnerin same ting bout Teho. Am pretty new non-lurkerer but hab aways enjoyded eberyones commenz – doan no if I wanna noe y but will go to site n see
ai know nuthng of an insident, but there has apphairentlee been a poonitive action.
Hay, J4K!
I just noticed that the link under this pic to a previous pic is pointing to Helikat! Which is where teh hole 16-ownse mokka wif extry spresso insident taked place!
Somebuddy’s karma just runned over sombuddy’s dogma.
OMG!!! LCB!!! Tis too mutch!!! I even sayed “HOMSOMEVER!” An ai don’t doo it awl that offen. An it’s where we furst becayme gud frenz. Oh mai. Oooooo. . .chillz ar running up an down mai bak!!
jest wanteded to chime in and sai….in “reel” lif ai hav been knowed to sai” homsomevver” upon occashun miselv…..oks…ai sez it a lot akshualli
Thx, Maus!
Wow. That is all kinds of too bads for all kinds of reasons. I should refrain from comminting on that further, lest I disappear also.
I note that in the commintz over there someone bemoaned teh lack of snark over here in our commintz. Trooth be told, that’s one of the things that keeps coming me back here. When we is edgy we does it wifout cutting each other to peeces.
Plenty of snark to be finded elsewhere, for those what get off on it.
I doan membur reedin ennything MEEN or reellee gross tho, that Teho wrote. Hee had class.
Welcum back!
There was menshun yesterday in teh “Tripl Cheezburger ” pic of makin cheezburgerz en croute wif teh bree.
Today I wents to lunch place I duzzent normally goes to and teh speshul today was roast beest wif bree and spinich leafs and dermater slices, all on peeta bred!
Not zactly a cheezburger or en croute, but scuse me while I nom this lunch. For ur own proteckshuns plz to keep ur hands and faces away from teh screen.
This was sposedta go at teh end as a new commint.
Now it’s a nom-sekwitter!
Seems cloase to a sekwitter. *moar chlls running down ak* Hardlee do we say “cheezburger en croute* when yoo goes out an (almoast) finds wun. “Sumthing” seems to bee in sync!
Wuzzit reelee gud? Tasty and nootrishus?
I concur, LCB. In my lurking days, it was the comments by Stend and Teho that stood out the most. and which inspired me to “de-lurk”. Every stew needs a little seasoning, and Teho was (and hopefully will be) a critical component of the ICHC “flavur”.
Ur rite. But it sounds like the “critical component” part of Teho is what caused the trubble.
Deer All my Loved Cheezfrens. I have gone back to mostly lerking mode lately. Been sickly and needing recoooprerative energies, but have noticed the absence of our beloved Teho. He and Stend and Lolcatburlar’s wit and playfulness with compassion coaxed me out of lerkatude as well. I go read the teho link now, but almost skeered to do so. No need for th snark here. So much of it everywhere else in teh real wirld. If they need snark they don’t haves to coem here.
Thasnk fer being Cheezez Supreme!
stend, Teho and Melissa. Ar big three! Sumthng about a three-legged footstoool in there.
Pleez no nashing ov teeth. Menee otters heer also indi. . undiss. . wuns we cud nawt doo without. But our SIGNACHURE peeple ar these.
Oar so it seems to mee.
Srsly, I had da dream about Teho lass nite. I dreamded dat I waz namin da rasins Y we needz da Teho back. He a big force in our tribe. Dere a hole in our fambly now where da Teho belongs. Maybe God Bunneh canz spot him from way up inna sky? Tell us oh great gb, where are Teho?
Aye dunt know why he not wiz us. Wut u meen, he din’t wantz to go?
COM BACK, TEHO! We missez you soooo mutch! Ifn yoo comez back fur de aniv…enni…yeer old celebrayshun, I’ll make my famus boorbin balls! (No boorbins were harmed in the making…)
Ai did nawt no bourbins had teh balls…..u lern sumfink noo ebery day.
cojones del tequila!
oh, by the way — Hi, y’all.
Ha, ai knew u wudn’t be able to resist a commint about balls
Gud tu has u bak.
I think I just peed a little.
But enough about me. Hey, it’s Teho!
*happydance*
Yay! Happitail! Hoo cares bout clerks bein catty? Teh Teho’s bak!
Hiya! sry to heer yu wer blakballed. I’m pretty sure I hate the idea that that would happen here.
ps – speaking of speaking our minds, ennywun herd from TINA? (typingisnotactivism)…?
Speakin uv cojones! Gud 2 c u!
Maus, does that meen that u can see Teho’s… ?
Mebbe his pantses splits when he taked his bow? If that was him. Coulda beed a clever troll.
*strokes chin suspiciously*
*realizes that I is stroking Maus’ chin suspiciously*
*keeps doin it anyways*
ogod… i fergitted haow nawty y’all is. tsk
Jeez LCB. Yu needs to wash yur mind out wif soap. Waht I meaned wuz it was brave or sompfin for him to use his ovur handel and come visit. Taht wub cud get borked too.
That’s not my chin LCB…
I has a chin too. Meet me in teh barn!
Whoops! Taht not ur chin?
I need to go warsh mah hand out wif soap!
RITE! peeplul wif chins – hed 2 teh nawty barn!
oh yeah, baby! oooh yeah. heh heh heh. (insert lecherus weenk heer)
breeng teh soap an the groucho nose an glasses.
Ai’ll open teh toylet windoe!
teh Cheezez is talking to deh Teho. Dey sez dey no banned him and sad about deh Cheex hate? I has ledit commentary about the quality od captionings lately, but certainly no hatee. I wunner if I better get a nose an glasses fer myself. open that winder a little wider. I may hafta slip in der mysef.
I will be seein y’all in da barn. Barnz be dah bestest playses! woo hoo.
if yer of deh nawty perswashn. udderwise it makes you all freekeando.
I’d do a little dance at your return…but, well,…you know.
(twisted) !
o bothr… i nots remembr dat smiley riet.
go ‘hed an dans if u liek. i cant stops u.
Awwwwwwwww……dat almoas wurked owt a teer.
I will compromise an juss doo a little wiggul uf glee, k?
Theo, yew needs tew do
: twisted : wiffout teh spaces.
Lyk tihs:
dass ryt. thx.
Welcome back, dude.
Missed you – big.
Yeah….sum of us onlee de-lurked cause of yu, ya no!
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WB BiggessT HUGest SMILES
)
WEll we got one star back anyway. Hi Theo. Welkum back. Where uz bein?
i bin in spamhell, or so i r towld. baks nao. pleh.
spamhell?????? yoo were iin SPAMHELL!!!?? Yoo meen – awl we had to do wuz throw arselves upawn ar nees weeks ago an awl of this cud has been avoided??
Well – ai am – nonplusseded.
Yesh plees let Teho cum bak an plai wiv us agen. We awl misses him. Fank you most respektfully.
Pleez gib us owr Teho back!
I just got tihs messaj frum teh Big Cheez:
“We haven’t banned TEHO or anyone else.”
Wut it duzn’t sai is wevver tehy rejectd sum poasts of hiz dat tehy din’t lyk.
I gess we can awl be selektivly edited.
I gots a mssssj too, frum teh Tofu. According to Tofu, Teho not banned, and Teho’s comments not blocked.
So, happy ending, mebbe?
BTING TEHO BAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!
(but srsly, where is teho, ai luked at his blog a couple of weeks ago and it said he was on vacashion, so whai eesn’t hee bak, m ai missing sumthin?)
you know, i really should read everything before commenting
welcome back teho.
fanks!
am BUZY liek awl crazee HELZ riet naow tho — pls doan be pisd if it taeks me a wiel to gits bak on mah pawfeets.
YAY! TEHO’S BACK! (Er, shhh, I meant Welkum, Theo!)
ai cud neber EBER be pisd at yu teho, ai has een teh past skipped a coupla days an den come back an had no ideer whut wus gooin on, ai STILL dunno when teh nawty barn appered.
in short, having been there myself, I couldn’t possibly not understand.
Heer, gascat, iz wehre the nawty barn furst appeared. I am trying to collect teh major episoses ov eskapades in the barn – when ai have them, ai will show yoo them. But in teh meenwhile –
starts with Gayla “Amd I would have gotten away with it . . .
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/07/cpr-cat-leaps-into-action
ahemmmm-
oh gascat……
yuz bedda be carfull whenz yuz sneekin in da nawty barn…… yuz neber nao whoos u mit meetz der!
( iznt itz horriblez havin a momcat on da same webbysite az yu?!)
momcat
(akshuly, iz okz to beez peekin in da nawty barn, u iz 18 n I reali du trust yu- whooz noez mebe yuz mit fin a nice frenchy horn playa or eben jus sumbunni whoz likz mani moosicz der!)
doan worry – ah did same ting few minutes ago!
Did joo c waht she buyed? She buyed Anne Rice! Sooo jejune. ‘Scue me. I returns to redin Finigan’s Wake now….Oh WHY arent eberyone as full ob da smartz as us? Whirrled be better if dere were more like us, but it r so hard to bare da burden of bein so much bedder dan eberybody else.
(Dis really Lucy now: I fink I’ve akshully finished da four pages of da Wake of da Finnigan. Been tryin for years. Might make it to page 10 before I die! Any Cheezfrenz akshually finish da darn fing?)
U iz doin bedder dan me, Lucy, I made it to page 2, an I haz teh stoopy PhD in Engfish! I can haz attenshun deffisit, mebbe.
my kitteh has attenshun deficit disorder. if there is a deficit in the attention he is receiving he becomes disorderly!
OY!!!!! lol
I can has pinion on da James Joice. I fink he’s a big ol’ joke bing playd on studints . All a da perfessers r n on da joke. Englandish studints r bing pwned dalee bi da perfessers makin em reed Finnigan’s Awake.
37?
Shut up!
“so, why am taht kitteh naemd ‘Snowball?’ “
Bwah!
Buks ad yer reedin lebbel be in pikshur buk deparmend, downstares!
Kittehz dirrekkt sum
Prittee Wunz 2wardz Reeta
May Brown’z missterreez
Kittehz arz ‘Missuss
Murfee’ fanz. Tho Rawss Tommass
rytez grayt storreez, 2
Kittehz watch t3h flo
ubz cusstommurrz frum t3h floar
andz awn t3h bookshellvz
Book Stoar iz verreh
bizzee. Dedicayted 2
t3h art ubz browzeeng
Jack.
Srsly, OUR remarkz R NOT Snide, we R trying to Help U poor, pathetik hoomans B better. Srry U are not graceful liek us, do not have butiful fur liek us, eat pleh tings liek brocoli, cannot katch deh mices.
U hav manee faultz, but we st1ll luv u, and try to help, evn tho U R hopeless.
*jejune* LOL
Learn dat word from a Woddy Allen movie. Someone use it in Annie Hall. Such a officious word dat I looked it up and bemembered it. Dis da firs time I eber uz it doough. Too silly a word for regliar use. No?
iz tew snobby fer regular use, but we liek snobby words coming from the clerks kittehs.
*hanhgs hed in shame*……ai hav been knowed to use dat okkashunally….but iz ok ….teh peeps hooo ai useded it round dint hav a clu waht ai was tawlking about…..
*tapse fingur awn chin*……hmmmmm…peepz nawt noein wat ai tawlking about……dat seemz to happun a lawt to me……..
You’ve been petted by 37 GUYS!?!
In a row??!!
Hey, try not to get petted on the way through the parking lot!
Hey you! Get back here!
which one is randal, and which one is danteh?
Mefinks teh stripey one wit da big mouth gots ta be Randal.
Or… mebbe he cud also be Jay and den da blak one be Silent Bob.
ya i finks strypee kitteh Randal. dese kouldnt be jay an silent bob. dante kitteh nawt lets dem in teh store. nawt lik dem, remeber he kawled teh kops on dem fur sellin teh ‘nip in teh parkin lawt.
Ah yes.. ah member taht nao. Ah furgotted abaot taht. Been long tiem since ah seend Clerks. Randal an Dante dey be, tehn.
Toadily agreez. Randal an Dante. Recugnized dem instuntly.
Kittehs cant b clerks. No posable tumbs.
Mayk dat “s’posubl tumbz” ftw.
OT sowwy but pssst, Janet – ai sented u a messidj in Vox. Let me no if it werks. If you goes in tehr is a little “messidj” box on top lhs which if u clik, teh messidj shud be tehr (but ai is dabblin wiv teh dark fawces wat ai dus nawt unnerstand, so is pawsible u will nawt has).
It werked! Ai left yoo a msg bak. Slolee but shirley, SJ – we be mastering teh dark artz!
Ai gotted it! But pleez, JCH4K – doan call me Shirley!!
gigglols!!
teh “37??!!” one wuz more teh funneh.
OOO Navy Seals!
Happy Scrappy Hero Pup? No, make it Happy Scrappy Hero Kitteh!
This job wuld b great if it waznt for the f&ckng customers.
“whut ’bout teh kittehs on de def star?”
“whut u mean?”
“dem had 2 haf kittehs on de def star when rebel hoomans blowed it up. blowed up all dems kittehs.”
“nawt so, de didnt needs, had bot to get mowses an stuff”
“kittehs better dan de bots. dem had mowese an machines wut made cheezburgers. kittehs be dere. dems gowt blowed up”
“den de wuz empire kittehs. deserved it.”
“nawt so, inocent kittehs!”
(third oranj kitteh enters)
“i’z agree. i’z kontractor kitteh. if u takes job u knows teh risk. u isa mowser at howse of tonie soprano, uz know u kood get blowed up.”
no tyme fur lurve doctah jones
“What size did you say you weah, deah? I know it was laahhge.”
Clerk in Bawston ackshully sed dat to me wunce. I wuz jr size 11 (modern vanity size 9). I wuz 17 an I nebber furgot. I nebber bot nuffin frum her neever. Hope she wuz wurkin on commishun.
Stoopy clerks.
U NOAT ALLOWED 2 SHOWP HEER ANYMOAR!!1!!
I don ahpresheate yur roose
do not has happy skrappie hiro pup
I see teh votin burgerz is bak and some peeps are usifying them, but my votes aren’t staying voted!
Burgers of Sisyphus. I has them.
Ai has teh teesing burgers: they clik up tehn dispereer wen Ai nex luk
I cannot has teezburgers? kthx
I noes!! mee 2
grrrrrrr
Ai has burgers an ai is clickin awai lyke teh madd thing tryin to gib tehm to folks.
BTW – “Burgers of Sisyphus” – FTW!!11!!
Burgers of Sysyphus????? WOW. Mythologic ref FTW!!!
man, dis site be teh mostest intellexutal…intalect…smarteest playze on teh interwebs. Y’all has IQ and yew shows it to us!!! Fank yew. Ai feelz stoopie wen sum of yew come up wif dis stuff. Ai DEW know whoo Sisyphus iz, but what a kewl and obscure ref. Unless UR a Pink Floyd fan, too (dat helpz alzo)
Ha, great picture and this a great blog!
yesh it is! welcom HC! (im gessin yer noo to le chat…?)
I fink dese is music-stoar kittehs from Hi Fidelitee. Jak Blak kitteh has dismissiv and snawty attitood towerd my rekwest for Steevee Wunder.
“do you has taht movee with taht guy who wuz in taht movie taht caem owt last yeer?”
U be in lyne behine meh, TC? I sayz dat tu my boyz an teh anser iz alwayz “GOLF CART”. Dat be code 4 u mayk no senz. ( Wun tyme I coodnt memember teh werd 4 gulf kart. I haz Alzymer’s chek pls?)
librare kitteh saiz: ur bookz is due!!
Yu iz no rwight. All knows Clrk kittehz make cude comentz!
LULZ
“Kyoot kitteh. Wut’s his naem?”
“Anoying custumor.”
“Bleepin’ bleephead.”
Hehehehe, ezzackly.
*snerk*
o man, Ai wuz gunna say dat!
these 2 waited on me last friday night in dairy queen. Pleh!
Look Look!!
Like teh kitteh in clerks is named “Annoying Customer.”
This lol maeks my day
Clerk kittehs make catty comments.
LOL. My kittehs do that all de time
when visiters show up.
Dante kitteh nawt evn sposed 2 b heer 2day.
You guyz seen any hrblls down dere?
If youz plan to shoplivt, lets us know, ktnkbai
Clerks kittehs say it’s never ok to go ass to mouth!
But 10 years lader, Clerks II kitteh sias on okashun, iz ok to go azz tu mouth.
Hey! Yeah u!
That Ralf Lolren maiks u luk 10 lbs liddler!
*aside – in da head*
Clerks kitteh needz 2 boro ur car
Nice cat, what’s his name?
Annoying customer.
den ai shuuts dem