mam, i r the suprvizer
whoo dat on teh other end of the line?
picture: Ryan
lolcaption: Lydia B
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
More Cowbell Elmer… more Cowbell…
Don’t Fear the Reaper, Rodney - FTW!!!1!!!
COWBELL! YES! MORE COWBELL! MORE COWBELL!
well, dat’s jus super!
now, git mii teh boss!
teh boss is out in the ocean using hiz new blutooth.
Yu Snerted awn yur screen an keebord, yu sai? An wot site wer yu awn wen tihs happend?
ah iz so srry, m’mam, butt teh veeyouing ob cheezsites maykes yore warrentee null and devoid.
Mam, yoor complaynt is too boring. I tayke a brake now. Pleez to call back layter when yoo got something funnerer to talk abowt. Kthxbai.
“ma’am, the problem is between the chair and the keyboard”
I ar sowee to inform Uz, but U should probably not be using the puter.
Kthx bai.
PEBCAK!
is ID10T error!
HAW10 skullz=ID10T errorz.
Kthxbai
ah iz so srry, m’am, veeooing cheezsites maykes yer warrenty null and voyd.
(this was ‘post to nest unnder ambercat’s post.)
Ai rilly do get lokked owt ob teh innerweb at werk sumtyms wen Ai plai awn ICHC! But Ai tink it’s teh ads at teh side, rarder tahn teh site itself taht. Eeder wai, Ai tell fibs abowt wot site Ai wuz awn, if tehy aks me!
R yore fibs as Cree-8ive as yore quipz?
Hokay, yoo wanna speek 2 my boss…im gonna hafta put yU on hold 4 a minite…
*diskonnekts kall..nnnnnnnnn….*
Imma Chriztian, so mai supervizor iz 30,000 ft. strait up.
Dick Chanee in Ayr Fors Wun?
“Dis Johnny ‘catscratch’ Fever… playin’ the toonz you like all night long… next caller?”
mam…yes…I am in New Delhi; and it’s not next to the old deli
O, iz dis deli? den ai wud liek a larj tuna samwitch, plizz, wif eckstra tuna, an a sied ub tuna.
. . . an a beeg glas ob toona joose to wash eet down wif!
kthxbai!
nao it maked teh sens wai kustommir servus nebbar sendz meh bak mai puter!
wall Iz soo sry, ifnz u noe gibz me claim wif correcte codez awn it, I iz nawt gona paiz ur claim!-
wha?
noe, ifnz u jus writ meiz ledda tellen meiz what u didnz, I stil cant payz da claim!
wha? u noe knos how ta codez da claim? den GET A BOOKKEERER *darn* it!
momcat
-usta does custamer serbis fur an medical insurance copany- wurked wif da doctaz makin sure der claimz getz paid. Dat waz akshowal conmersation….
oh- department hadz gret nam…… “Provider Affairs”. Wud get da ocasunal teencat callen n breakn outz in laugtha….
U kittehz provided affairs???
shame shame on U!
Aktully - I wuz a tech suppert kat fer firewaill N’Modems. Wez had diz job wid Bostun Nunz…
O’ de pain! I hurts us! Wez Hatez dem callz!! Mroowrr… Pfft Pffft…
Cat Tech Support: “Well is it plugged in Ma’am?”
did yu put gas in it?
Ok, ma’am, here’s what you need to do. Stack all of your computer manuals on your chair, and then climb to the top of the stack. Then shout as loudly as you can “DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW HOW TO READ A MANUAL?!”
(With apologies and credit due to Scott Adams)
RTFM!
Deer rodney - pleez to remember that to menee ov us, tehse manualz maekz no sense, becuz tehy alwaiz assumes we knows stuff we, alas, duzznt!
Its just a caption.
Oh.
tahts becuz teh manyuals r writted bai teh xperts- who maek teh wurstest teechers… cuz tehy uses weerd werds.
teh bestest teecher is sumwun who unnerstans teh stuff, but speeks yer langwich on yer level.
Yeh–like if dey roted teh namuals in lolspeek dere wud be no trubble.
relly dif cult to rede manual dat was tranlatered from Chinese, but still sounds liek Chinese wehn U rede it.
yu muss remember, teh manool wuz trasnlerated frum chinese tu ingerlish bai sumwun hoo onlee spokeded teh italian!
credit tu P.J. O’Rourke
Oh hai - hoo dere?
Dr Tinycat, yu saiz?
Whut’s dat?
You runned out ob teh ruber glubbs an teh duct taype agayne ???
Sheesh!
U Lik It Lik Dat?
Oooo… Dat Sexee Babee
Dat b nother $2.99 for nother minut plz
no, srsly… therez no such theeng as teh “any key”. weev ben over dis.
Puts on Geek Hat (with Propeller)
In my early tech support days *mumblemumble* years ago, an evil colleague of mine used to tell (l)users that the “any key” was “Ctrl-Alt-LeftTab-RightShift-9″, all held down simultaneously. Of course, the only key that did anything was “9″, because what MS meant by “any key” was any character or numeral.
lols… mebbe evil, but iz teh phunnee.
There wuz awnlee WUN evil colleague?????
Well… there were two. Him and me. Bwahahahahahahaha…
I ar surprised that peeps akshully asked that queshun I thought it were an urban
legend.
Sorry two_kittehs, it’s not an urban legend. I had to make an “Any Key” label for one luser that I glued to his Space Bar key. Otherwise he would use strange key combinations and lock up his ‘puter. “But it said hit any key”. Feh.
DOS wuz a vrry strnge an funy strry…
Didz U tell him Grue would eatz him if he bodder you again? heh…
Hooman Uhmeriken jobz nao beeyng outsoorced to kittehs. Tehy no wurk fer peenuts. Tehy wurk fer cheezburgers.
and nip
I tinkx I no sum hoomans who werkx for nip…
Is good….we unnurstans dem betta.
Mwar? (may i hep u?)
MyRaRaWyRaWrrrrAA! (ur startin too pizz meh off)
MWAHR! (begone, stuoopid hyuman!)
Dis conversational spectrum moar hepfull dan my past expeeriuntses.
Reeboot.
Taht meens kik it, rite?
no, ai fink it meenz it need nyoo shuz
ok, Ai go shawping nao!
Yay! I can has shawping spree wiff Ambercat?
Oenlee windo-shawping allowd tihs munf: my bank statement todai sed “Dear Ambercat, yu has no monees. Plees to stop spending nao!” An taht’s Bfore teh rent gets payd! Ho Hum, is teh saym ebberee Januhairy!
Sigh, me too, Ambrrrcat! Stoopee govmint sez, We dun keer if it Crissymessee munf, we gwine take munneez owt uv yor pyoonee munneez to pay fur stuff dat we tink yoo owe to anudder playce, eben if yoo dun!
So dey take ma Crissymessee munneez to pay ma VA pill bill. But wen Ah gets ma compinsayshun, Aye gets it awl bak. Wen. Sum day…..
*snerk*
Ai wuz shoppin wun day at Meijer, en goed 2 teh self chekkowt. dere wuz a werkr on brayk buyin a donut, en Ai telld him 2 go bfor me. wel, he tryd 2 yuse teh chekkowt en it krasht, so Ai sez “u hafta kik it” en he lookt at me phunnee, en Ai sez “mai hubzbind yusta werk in Systems, datz alwyz teh first step fr trubblshootin self-chekkowt” en teh guy lafft. den teh self-chekkowt attendint kaym ovr, en gess wut he did?!? he KIKT the self-chekkowt masheen! kikt it hard, BAM! me en teh udder guy lafft en lafft. teh kikkin didnt werk, teh attendint had 2 opin up teh masheen en fiddl wif teh insydez. but it wuz reelee phunnee.
O mai goodness! I wish I could have seen that. Elebenty gazilbazilyun burgers! Gud ting Ai swolled mai diet coke afore Ai red dat.
Okay, ur ordir iz a cheezburger, a double cheezburger, a triple cheezburger, a bakonses cheezburger, a burger wif cheez an a smawl tater totz? Iz dat correcks?…
Yes ma’m, de cheezburgers do has cheez. Dat’s y we call ‘em dat.
Plz drive thru kthx.
“Yes ma’m, de cheezburgers do has cheez. Dat’s y we call ‘em dat.”
win!!win!!1!!!win!!!11!!!!!