mam, i r the suprvizer
whoo dat on teh other end of the line?
picture: Ryan
lolcaption: Lydia B
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
More Cowbell Elmer… more Cowbell…
Don’t Fear the Reaper, Rodney – FTW!!!1!!!
COWBELL! YES! MORE COWBELL! MORE COWBELL!
well, dat’s jus super!
now, git mii teh boss!
teh boss is out in the ocean using hiz new blutooth.
Yu Snerted awn yur screen an keebord, yu sai? An wot site wer yu awn wen tihs happend?
ah iz so srry, m’mam, butt teh veeyouing ob cheezsites maykes yore warrentee null and devoid.
Mam, yoor complaynt is too boring. I tayke a brake now. Pleez to call back layter when yoo got something funnerer to talk abowt. Kthxbai.
“ma’am, the problem is between the chair and the keyboard”
I ar sowee to inform Uz, but U should probably not be using the puter.
Kthx bai.
PEBCAK!
is ID10T error!
HAW10 skullz=ID10T errorz.
Kthxbai
ah iz so srry, m’am, veeooing cheezsites maykes yer warrenty null and voyd.
(this was ‘post to nest unnder ambercat’s post.)
Ai rilly do get lokked owt ob teh innerweb at werk sumtyms wen Ai plai awn ICHC! But Ai tink it’s teh ads at teh side, rarder tahn teh site itself taht. Eeder wai, Ai tell fibs abowt wot site Ai wuz awn, if tehy aks me!
R yore fibs as Cree-8ive as yore quipz?
Hokay, yoo wanna speek 2 my boss…im gonna hafta put yU on hold 4 a minite…
*diskonnekts kall..nnnnnnnnn….*
Imma Chriztian, so mai supervizor iz 30,000 ft. strait up.
Dick Chanee in Ayr Fors Wun?
“Dis Johnny ‘catscratch’ Fever… playin’ the toonz you like all night long… next caller?”
mam…yes…I am in New Delhi; and it’s not next to the old deli
O, iz dis deli? den ai wud liek a larj tuna samwitch, plizz, wif eckstra tuna, an a sied ub tuna.
. . . an a beeg glas ob toona joose to wash eet down wif!
kthxbai!
nao it maked teh sens wai kustommir servus nebbar sendz meh bak mai puter!
wall Iz soo sry, ifnz u noe gibz me claim wif correcte codez awn it, I iz nawt gona paiz ur claim!-
wha?
noe, ifnz u jus writ meiz ledda tellen meiz what u didnz, I stil cant payz da claim!
wha? u noe knos how ta codez da claim? den GET A BOOKKEERER *darn* it!
momcat
-usta does custamer serbis fur an medical insurance copany- wurked wif da doctaz makin sure der claimz getz paid. Dat waz akshowal conmersation….
oh- department hadz gret nam…… “Provider Affairs”. Wud get da ocasunal teencat callen n breakn outz in laugtha….
U kittehz provided affairs???
shame shame on U!
Aktully – I wuz a tech suppert kat fer firewaill N’Modems. Wez had diz job wid Bostun Nunz…
O’ de pain! I hurts us! Wez Hatez dem callz!! Mroowrr… Pfft Pffft…
Cat Tech Support: “Well is it plugged in Ma’am?”
did yu put gas in it?
Ok, ma’am, here’s what you need to do. Stack all of your computer manuals on your chair, and then climb to the top of the stack. Then shout as loudly as you can “DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW HOW TO READ A MANUAL?!”
(With apologies and credit due to Scott Adams)
RTFM!
Deer rodney – pleez to remember that to menee ov us, tehse manualz maekz no sense, becuz tehy alwaiz assumes we knows stuff we, alas, duzznt!
Its just a caption.
Oh.
tahts becuz teh manyuals r writted bai teh xperts- who maek teh wurstest teechers… cuz tehy uses weerd werds.
teh bestest teecher is sumwun who unnerstans teh stuff, but speeks yer langwich on yer level.
Yeh–like if dey roted teh namuals in lolspeek dere wud be no trubble.
relly dif cult to rede manual dat was tranlatered from Chinese, but still sounds liek Chinese wehn U rede it.
yu muss remember, teh manool wuz trasnlerated frum chinese tu ingerlish bai sumwun hoo onlee spokeded teh italian!
credit tu P.J. O’Rourke
Oh hai – hoo dere?
Dr Tinycat, yu saiz?
Whut’s dat?
You runned out ob teh ruber glubbs an teh duct taype agayne ???
Sheesh!
U Lik It Lik Dat?
Oooo… Dat Sexee Babee
Dat b nother $2.99 for nother minut plz
no, srsly… therez no such theeng as teh “any key”. weev ben over dis.
Puts on Geek Hat (with Propeller)
In my early tech support days *mumblemumble* years ago, an evil colleague of mine used to tell (l)users that the “any key” was “Ctrl-Alt-LeftTab-RightShift-9″, all held down simultaneously. Of course, the only key that did anything was “9″, because what MS meant by “any key” was any character or numeral.
lols… mebbe evil, but iz teh phunnee.
There wuz awnlee WUN evil colleague?????
Well… there were two. Him and me. Bwahahahahahahaha…
I ar surprised that peeps akshully asked that queshun I thought it were an urban
legend.
Sorry two_kittehs, it’s not an urban legend. I had to make an “Any Key” label for one luser that I glued to his Space Bar key. Otherwise he would use strange key combinations and lock up his ‘puter. “But it said hit any key”. Feh.
DOS wuz a vrry strnge an funy strry…
Didz U tell him Grue would eatz him if he bodder you again? heh…
Hooman Uhmeriken jobz nao beeyng outsoorced to kittehs. Tehy no wurk fer peenuts. Tehy wurk fer cheezburgers.
and nip
I tinkx I no sum hoomans who werkx for nip…
Is good….we unnurstans dem betta.
Mwar? (may i hep u?)
MyRaRaWyRaWrrrrAA! (ur startin too pizz meh off)
MWAHR! (begone, stuoopid hyuman!)
Dis conversational spectrum moar hepfull dan my past expeeriuntses.
Reeboot.
Taht meens kik it, rite?
no, ai fink it meenz it need nyoo shuz
ok, Ai go shawping nao!
Yay! I can has shawping spree wiff Ambercat?
Oenlee windo-shawping allowd tihs munf: my bank statement todai sed “Dear Ambercat, yu has no monees. Plees to stop spending nao!” An taht’s Bfore teh rent gets payd! Ho Hum, is teh saym ebberee Januhairy!
Sigh, me too, Ambrrrcat! Stoopee govmint sez, We dun keer if it Crissymessee munf, we gwine take munneez owt uv yor pyoonee munneez to pay fur stuff dat we tink yoo owe to anudder playce, eben if yoo dun!
So dey take ma Crissymessee munneez to pay ma VA pill bill. But wen Ah gets ma compinsayshun, Aye gets it awl bak. Wen. Sum day…..
*snerk*
Ai wuz shoppin wun day at Meijer, en goed 2 teh self chekkowt. dere wuz a werkr on brayk buyin a donut, en Ai telld him 2 go bfor me. wel, he tryd 2 yuse teh chekkowt en it krasht, so Ai sez “u hafta kik it” en he lookt at me phunnee, en Ai sez “mai hubzbind yusta werk in Systems, datz alwyz teh first step fr trubblshootin self-chekkowt” en teh guy lafft. den teh self-chekkowt attendint kaym ovr, en gess wut he did?!? he KIKT the self-chekkowt masheen! kikt it hard, BAM! me en teh udder guy lafft en lafft. teh kikkin didnt werk, teh attendint had 2 opin up teh masheen en fiddl wif teh insydez. but it wuz reelee phunnee.
O mai goodness! I wish I could have seen that. Elebenty gazilbazilyun burgers! Gud ting Ai swolled mai diet coke afore Ai red dat.
Okay, ur ordir iz a cheezburger, a double cheezburger, a triple cheezburger, a bakonses cheezburger, a burger wif cheez an a smawl tater totz? Iz dat correcks?…
Yes ma’m, de cheezburgers do has cheez. Dat’s y we call ‘em dat.
Plz drive thru kthx.
“Yes ma’m, de cheezburgers do has cheez. Dat’s y we call ‘em dat.”
win!!win!!1!!!win!!!11!!!!!
whut ai dont gets is whai tehy charg me foar a cheezburger wen ai gets it wifoout cheez (is lergic to milk)- isnt dat a hamburglar?
whai yu charg me foar whut ai dusnt get? srsly.
Yur call has bin logged. Plees to maek a noet ob yur call refrens numbah: t07q24i;tgp9b98
Needer ob tehse tings akchully meen we’re doin enneefink to fiks teh prawblem, we jus lyk to gib yu folse hoep!
cat-like refrens numbah detektid
When deelin’ wif da kittehs Eye R Teh Soopervizor.
When deeling wif da hoomans Eye R Teh Stoopervizor. Dis happyns offin.
…le sigh…
It r da tuff joyb but sum kitteh gotta duz it.
Thank you for calling Initech. Please hold.
Thank you for calling Initech. Please hold.
Thank you for calling Initech. Please hold.
Thank you for calling Initech. Please hold.
Ai LUVS Offis Spase!
“Are you still on Hold?… OK… Please Hold.”
“Yur cawl is impotent to us. Plees hold until wun ob owr opra haters is avaylubble”
So enneewais, Ai ses to Doreen, he is so nawt werf it, yu can do mush bedderer tahn him. Yu want a cawfee? Ai get donuts to…
impOTent is curreckt.
/snerts at opra haters
Whut’r yoo holdeeng nao?
whut r yoo holdin nao?
Jenuwyn comment form Ingerlish crikit commentary:
“Teh batman’s Holding
Teh bowler’s Willy”
Much hillarittee ensood wit commentree bawks closed for laffter for sumtym!
Taht is reelee funnee. Ai can’t stop laffing!! Ambercat – iz it reelee troo???
Ai can’t stops laffing!!!! OMGoodness!!!
Ai unnerstan teh werdz teh wai thase rittin, but iz theer a nothur splan a tion?
Srsly! Teh commentayder wus Brian Johnston, he wus faymus fore sain tings lyk taht, in awl innosens, an tehn laffin an laffin an laffin abowt it! http://www.johners.com and go to teh “gaffs an gigguls” bit. Tehre’s lots moer wher taht caym form! Awlmoest maeks criket inneresting!
Sry, is http://www.johnners.com wit 2 “N”s
Ambercat,
Dat wuz de funniez! Ai yoosed tu watch crikit on teebee when Ai haz de Fox Sport World chanl heer un YooEssAy. Wuz mosly futbal, but wood sho crikit layet at nite.
Brian Johnston wuz phunnieee! Himz get all gigly (not Gigli, no!) and nawt b able tu tawk….
One ringy dingy… two ringy dingy’s….
Mr. Veedle? Mister Veedle?
Ernestine the operator FTW!
Is this the party to whom I am speaking?
I loff Ernestine!
And a grayshus hello!!!
three ringy dingy’s . . . *snort*
(unplugs line)
momcat
Im sorryz….ur credut cardz been deniedz
“Grownd kuntrol to Major Tom”
awsum song.
“ur circuts ded, dere’s someting rong;
Can u heer meh mayjer Tom?”
This kitteh looks much nicer than most of my former supervisors… can have?
“Hallo hallo, Poelees Hedkwarters. Tihs is Roes Maeri, teh tellee foney opra hater….ya doent sai….ya doent sai…!”
“What did she want?”
She dint sai…
*Ba-boom Ching*
*hai-fyves maus*
Honng Konng Fooey, FTW Ambercat!
Is we teh saym age as well as bht from teenytiny Inngerland?
Ai is *koffkoff*neerly40*koffkoff*
Ai ruhmamberz Honn Konng Fooey!
Ai’z owld 2! Amost 42! Yikes!
Mebbee we is teh saym purrson! Akchully, Ai’m a teensy bit older tahn yu, but nawt as old as rhsb – prolly in teh class abuv yu at skool.
Akshullee, yoo ar awl just a bunch ov spring chikkens!
Youngsters
err imdibizziboe typering! waz ” you young whippersnappers “
But we amembers treddle sewin masheens an blakanwyt tellee, awl teh saym!
iz 40 an member all kins uf stuffs……but ai da yungist in mai famblee – dat may be wie.
Ai is yungest in mai fambly too – so Ai will awlwais be a yungster!
Butt kan yew bemember befour thier wuz pooters, an evreebudy usd tippytiepeeriters insted? An thier wuz karbun payper, an witeout bottels, an tiepriter ribbin…..? Aye is verrah, verrah old, aye bemember awl dese tings…..
I took personal typing in high school. Electric typewriters, no computers. Programmed computers with punched hollerith cards in College. Later, I did get a Radio Shack Color Computer around ‘82 or ‘83.
Iz took tippy typing in high skool with big manual typewriters. With blank keys, just a chart in deh front of teh room. Now dat wuz how 2 leern to tippy type. Peeps I wurk with r amazed at my typin. Deh sez, U neber look at keez?? Cauze U learns on typewriter, such headache to correct mistake, U learnz to do it rite!
Mee, tu, Greasycat! Jus yeshterdai, summwun wuz in ar oarfice, tawkin tu me an my uhsis… assis…. mai office-helpurr…… an, ai lukkin at him, tawlkin/lissnin tu him, an ai keeps awn typin on a document ai wuz wurkin awn (cuz, ai wuz tu bizzy fer hiz interupshuns, onnestly!)….. dis gai luks at me while he iz tawlkin and stawps, mid-sentence and sez,
“ai hatez peepel lyk u whu kin type while u rnt lukkin!! How u du dat?!”
Ai smiled an sed, “Eet wuz haow ai lernt tu type….. oh yeah, and – ai habz ADHD – dat helps!!”
LOL!!
Fank u fur calling teh Secksy Kitteh Lyne. Ur credut cardz wyll b chargd $3.99 purr minit.
Wot am ai wearen? Blak fur. U a baad goggie. Ai spank u nao.
Tech support kitteh are bored by Ur stoopy queshuns
When i sez windows that means the one in front of you.
Oooooo….
I knows what dis kitteh goez thru. Somez folkz, dey hav no klue.
You wantz tail-enduzer suhport? I givez you tail-enduzer suhport… wiv mah clawz. mwrowrrr…. pffft pffft
O hai. Purrhapz u kan eksplaynz tu meh wai i has sevin IkeaCat legz, three taylz, wun hed, faiv eerz, an no bawdeez.
U haz no ideeya hao diterbin it luks arownd heer!
It’s shaniqua johnson! Look up the movie “crash” if uz doesnt kno wat i takin aboot
I am speak Engrish!
Tank u for callin Tikitmastur…sorree, N’Seenk sold awt, bai….Tank u for callin Tikitmastur…Ai’m ufraid N’Seenk sold awt, bai….Tank u for callin Tikitmastur…no moar N’Seenk tikits, bai…
Nao imagin doin dat for eight howurz. Dat’s y I kwit dat job.
“To who am I speaking”
“Hu”
“Yes, Who.”
“Yes, Hu”
“….Who is this?”
“I am Hu”
“That’s what I want to know… Who are you?”
“Yes, Hu…”
Hu’s on furst!
What?
Watt’s on Second
I dunno what’s on secund
I thot I dunno wuz ono third bayse!
Hu’s on frst suhppert lion –
Watt’s on sehkund suhppert lion –
Aydjunnnowj’s on terd suhppert lion –
Y iz noo on suhppert lionz, he’z owt in lft feeld.
don fergget… Aydjunngyevvadjyarn — he’z da noo Projekt Munnagr!
i kan’t belve nobodie else saw:
dis nawt phun headset. dis xbocks (nawt liter bocks; teh game konsole) hedset. kitteh b gamerz kitteh. see teh kontroller in behind? kitteh tauntin ‘ponents on hedset.
“i wil pwn j00 wif mai 1337 sk1lz u suxx0rz. kittehs roxx0rz.” kitteh nawt gud sport, kin of jerk. an wil attak hooman wif pointee ens if loses.
U iz gonna DPS vurry vurry slolee…n bai slo Ai meenz effin slo…
videeyo gaym cat iz playin halo 3.
“AHHH DOOD Y U KEEL MEH???”
I sawz that too.
Iz Xbocks supervisor. Stop cursing or u be booted from Xbox Live.
Kthxbai
Corporate accounts Nina speaking… just a moment.
“Dammit honey, I can barely understand the rep on the phone, I think they’re outsourcing to Lolcatistan now.”
let me put mai bruther on….
LOL! reminds me of…me.
“LOOK ceiling cat I gotta talk to you bout this hole marketing thing and…your campaign and…the new movie “Dont lookz up” ya know …and your scandalous behavior when this Spears prick entered the room was pretty outta place so therell be sum talk between us…so if yar there pick up and if not you got my number anyway so bye…….dont forget!” end of message
kitteh says: 911. what’s your emergency?
listens
kitteh: the fireworks will start at dusk
listens
kitteh: the fireworks will start when it gets dark.
kitteh: 911. what’s your emergency?
listens
kitteh: no i don’t know when the power will be back on. i work for the poe lice, not the lectric company.
kitteh: 911 what’s your emergency.
listens
kitteh: so you want to report a theft. where did it happen?
caller: my house
kitteh: where do you live?
caller says name of city he lives in
kitteh: my esp is not working today, i need an ADDRESS!
*sigh*
sadly, these are aksutal conversations i have had. i’m still employeed, so you can guess i didn’t really answer like kitteh did.
Iz so sad wen pplz abus da pubwic servuses….
Cawller sez: ” Ai needz a bambalance! A emmeffin deer bit mee onna back uh deh neck, an naow, dere’z a emmeffin dawg tryin tu byte mai leg!”
911 kitteh sez: *snicker* “Where are u, sir?”
Cawller sez: “Ai’m inna emmeffin fone boof”
diz mai faborite innernets recordin EBER!
dis is wut ai deel wif awl daze long. Turtlol & Kitteh’s motto: Nebber underestimate stoopidity of teh genral publix.
Ai awlsew sez to dem: lack of preparation on UR part does NAWT constitute emergency on MAI part.
naow, KTHNX BAIIIIII!!!!!
can u tell ai is nawt customer-service-oriented? MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
kitteh nawt has tym for stoopy hoomins. Bizzy. 2 Bizzy…..
Teh IQ uv a groop uv peepel = (IQ of dummest person)/(sum of IQs of persons in crowd)- teh common cents uv a bag uv marbles.
also…
Stress: major cawse uv PEBCAK error
ai jus member mai liddl bruther dis weekend, wen ai hadz a cold an eerache an wuz druggied up wif cold meds, tryin to cook dinner:
Me: “Liddl bruther, cum stoopervise me pleez.”
Himz: “Whai?”
Me: “Cuz aize stoopy.”
Himz: “Aize stoopider.”
Me: “Yuze is nawt awn drugs.”
Himz: “Aize is a sebenteen yeer old male.”
Me: “Yuze isnt gonna do sumfin stoopy acuz mom tole yu to cook dinner.”
Himz: “Aize has less brane cells dan yu.”
Me: “No aize has less brane cells dan yu.”
Himz: “No aize has less brane cells dan yu.”
Me: “But myne aint tawlkin to eechuver.”
Himz: “Mine nevver tawlks to eechuver.”
Me: “Yurs isnt awn drugs wif a hedache.”
Himz: “But myne ….”
Me: “Luk, jus keep me frum burnin teh howse down wile ai cuks dinner.”
Himz: “Fyne. but aize keepin yors lectric blankie.”
I wish this were my tech support guy at the cable company…
Currently I think most of the hamsters carrying data for my cable tv, and internets and telephone are hibernating or something… Service has been sporadic AT BEST the past 2 days.
They can’t fix it from the office, and can’t get anyone out to look at it till SATURDAY… and I first called about it on Wednesday. Oh, and I can’t even get through to find out WHEN someone will be by on Saturday.
Ya, speshullee CBS. It bin freezin up fur sekunds R minnuts at a time. Yoozoolee dun keer, but wen ya miss da play, an den da replay uv da play cuz da channul bees frozd, meks us nawt happee!!
I tell TW, but dey say iz CBS prawblum, dey caynt fix it. Sigh, I no dat, but if I call CBS, dey no keer….
Huston, we has a problem…
OMG, that is so me at work, I iz da Supavisa, and I gets to wear tha hedset
I iz nawt Supervisar, bt i getz 2 wear hedset….”U lawst ur credit crd u sayz? U need do lawst report? U give me muvers maiden naime den i doz lawst report 4 uz, (stoopid hooman)
every day at work, same thing!
Kira-cat.
“Just as planned”
You beat me to it XD
… can i has a taxi numba
Whelps, left side!
You’re calling for who now?
icanhascheezburger.com/2007/10/31/leeeeeeeeeroy1/
Cat in original photo is dirty. Water is so brown.
But iz Xbox live…