Don’t taze me, bro!
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just laff it off, mistah lolrus…
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Sky
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R yoo tahkin meh 2 mah bukkit ??!
Good won, LBeeeze!
Hao wud u liek to sellabrate ur accom…akompli..ur beeg deel?
de elektric slyde comes to mynd !!!
LOL !!!
Eet okkurs tu mii taht no wun did elolektric slyde fur joo, LBeeeze!!
*step tu teh rite 3x*
*clap*
*step tu teh lef 3x*
*clap*
*step to teh bak 3x*
*clap*
*rawk 4werd*
*rawk bak*
*rawk 4werd*
*clap!*
*1/4 turn tu lef*
*fawl down inna heep*
*clap*
I do not know who you are, but I have always depended on the kindness of …
( zap !!! )
YEEEEEOWCH !!!
noaw dat wussnt so kind !!
I tink you really looking for Stanley
I’z trine to fink ov sumthin funny bout Blanche DuBois to say heer, but I gots nuttin.
hmmm, you coulda been a contender????
who dis?
dat noat me…
gascat’s momcat…
momcat
not gascats momcat,
noob momcat
and sympathizer for all pinnipeds who seek their bukkits
“Oh look, we have created enchantment” works more often than one might expect
“Ai’m lyk a LOLrus awn a hawt, tin hood…” Sumhao it dusn’t has teh saym punch as teh orijinall!
is that the odor of mendacity I smell? LOL’S
stttttttttelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
stellllloooollllllllaaaaaa?
Butz Tennessee Williams and Marlin Brando haz jest gotten kwiit a wurk-out tho.
Steeeeeeeellllllllaaaaaaaaaarrrrr sealoln?
makin’ a lolrus sammich? wut’s dat?
leave brittany alone !!!
Don’t braise meh, bro!
yooo amaze mii bro!!!
teh brutal wayz yoo show,
it doan faze, mii, tho,
yoo must be Krazy
knot 2 prays mii!!
foh sho!!!
Duz dis flipper maek my butt luk phat?
sealolion thotz it was NUDE beach
ummmmm???
whatz we doez?
iv been “momcat” unda “gascat” sinc ’bout august…
on sum ‘puters I does jus com up az “momcat” (uhhh atz da wurk….dons tellz!)
weiz gonna confusiate peepz ifnz weiz uz da sam name……
whatz shud we doos?
mai ICHC frens kno meiz as “momcat”…..
HALP!!!!
momcat
sinz i’m noob momcat, will gladly become other. no intent to confuze, sorry
u cood be mommeecat ????
oar mamacat, oar mummycat…..soinds kinda weerd tho…..but teh peepulz frum teenytiny Ingeraln wood getz it rite ofn teh bat….
oar momkitteh…oar mamakitteh….derz moar den ai thot…
Oar maybee “noobmomcat” or “TehOtterMomcat,” OR “Nomcat”!!!
ore momma2.
s’ok-
been gonz fur cupla a daiz n dis waz bounded two happen sumtim-
we’ill figur sumfing out…….
momcat (ub gascat)
salleh!
youz hab suc gud idears!
youz no can sleepy two?
is 2:30am heer in Colorodeo!
ohz- to addz insultz to injuries….
gascats team losted da Independence bowl n wurs- deh onli showz ’bout 5 secondz ub da band….. n ’bout hour ub da talkin headz…… most ‘noying, gascats band wurkd HARD on dat routine fur da hol us ub a……
momcat
An – wee furgotz to say – welcom, o noob momcat! Yoo seemz to bee verree nize, so ai am shur yoo wil fitz rite in an bee verree hapee heer! As soon as we knows whut to call yoo.
An doo let us know what yur noo nayme iz, pleese – or we will bee welkomming yoo again, thinking yoo ar sumwun else an wundering whut ever became ov noob momcat!
thx for nice welcome to noob,
will be mimzoid not momcat.
souns gud!
I likz mimzoid berry much!
welcome mizoid ! come on in n join da fun!
ders awlwaiz a parti goin on sumwares round hear!
momcat
Noo momcat, u cud be momcat2, or noomomcat (unless ur not a noo mom). No need to change, jus number wud halp.
i’ll try “mimzoid”… that’s what chillinz callz me. Hoomin chillinz, that is, the kitteh just looks at me in dismay.
thanks for the welcome to a noob
formerly momcat
eye rlly lyke yore name, mimzoid!!!
I has freedom to protest, leef I alone!!
We want bukkitz!
We want bukkitz!
We want bukkitz!
eggsactly !!!
lolrus habs freedom of beach !!!
Lbeeze – dat pun b bad!! U shud get togeffer wif mah cuzin hoo tends to speek such grownerz!
it be so bad it is teh WINZ!
Fanks ebberywon !!!
BAD PUN !!! FTW!!!! YAY
iss dare a “good pun”?
It’z a lolseal siroundeded bye pleeze!
Quick, get in the car!
Eye needz tu pruf readz bettah! Shud sai:
It’z a lolsealion siroundeded bye pleeze!
Quick, get in the car!
Sry, mye bad.
Oh snap its the fuzz!
Quick, get on their car!
gosh!!
JESUS CHRIST IT’S A SEALION GET ON THE CAR!
WAIT! I AM THE SEALION! WHAT AM I DOING ON THIS CAR?!
Eye wuzent gonna du nuttin tu doez kittehz een da bloo bukket frum tu picherz ago!
de shark calld me!!
Dang, Sea World security is tough these days.
Eye sorri eye mezzd up ur wax job.
U rilli tink doez phlimzee pecez uff wodd gonna mayke a dipherance?
Now git me da bukket!
Lolrus luukeengz 4
himz Bukkitt. No wantz Kittehz.
Duzz Hewminz habz it?
Wayr iz mah Bukkitt?
Lolrus wantz 2 knoez. Nuffeeng
heerz but lawtz ubz sand
Mebbee Lolrus luukz
4 Kittehz? Mytez habz bettah
lukk andz less hassill
Jack.
i juzz haytz it wen dey keep de lolrus down : (
*MM runs in wif kleenex from CCC n hands to LBeeze*
Hewminz juss duz nawt
unnurrstandz relayshunship
ubz Lolruz Bukkitt
Bukkitt iz juss a
Bukkitt 2 Hewminz. Meenz so
much moar 4 Lolrus
Whut ekkzakktlee? No
wun knoez t3h Lolrus
andz himz nawt tawllkeeng
Jack.
Liffteeng glass ubz Tee
2 LBeeeze 4 hers Woohoo
Nawt Sekkund. Well dun!
Fank yoo Jack an MM….
i feelz so muach bedder !
Whut u meen eetz standurd phrocedure tu phrisk heem?
Duz eet luk lyke eye haz de phirearmz?
onest! Ai did nowt kitnap those kittehs. dey were alreddy in taht blu bukkit. dey wir a gifft for the lolrus! halp!
Actually, I think it’s a Sea lolion
Good luck trying to explain to the incsurance company that your car got damaged when a lovelorn seal climbed up on the trunk and tried to mate with it!
it’s the humper on the bumper
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL !!!!!
Stend u mayks me laff n ai gots asthma probs todai! Mayks me werse! Lukily der b allbyuterawl on teh CCC!
albyooteral is teh pleh…halpz u breeve, but maykz u
a l h k – i e
l s a y l k
en nervus.
glad itz on teh CCC, ai hadz big attak yesserday. double pleh.
I getz dem two—-
I haz da allyuterawl nebnewnlizer…. doubl wurs! sumtimz I haz two uz allyubuterawl n atrobent.. kinda lik drinkin 4 koffez atz wun tim
hit ceiling (sry celing cat)
bounce
bounce
hit wal
bounce
bounce
iz lotza phun….
momcat (gascats)
oh- sry weiz been gon- lif bit saddi roun hear
gascat missed bus n didnt mak itz to da Independence bowl wif his band
himz berry, berry, berry sad
(weiz gotz da day wrong n da stoopi cell phone didn gib himz ani messages ’til 24 hours lada- waiz two late)
spoose bein putz on da “bad boy” program atz da wurk…..fur doin exactli whatz himz waz tol two do….. now haz onli 3 wekz to get bak on da “gud boys” list. Berry, scary
mai carz engimin still nawt heer- shud hab beenz heer las week……. wori, wori…. NEEDZ it by Jan 7th….
Iz studin fur techa test n habin bad timz wif da math……
fishykitty gotz da 11 yr old grouchies 24 by 7…….
sigh-
at lest da kiteh n da goggie happi…….
momcat n gascat
oh ……
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ momcat & gascat }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]]]]]
ai am so sorri to heer fingz ar ruff rite now…..iz bery hard ai noes……..ai bees holdin a gud thot fur u 2……
new yeer comin……shood getz bedder……heer , ai gibz u guise sum of teh gud luk ai been habin lateily……
fank u salleh-
weiz ‘preciate dat…….
kinda culd uz sum gud luk rit naow…..
we iz pinnin our hopz on da new yeer….
momcat n gascat
(ps- didz u seez mai question ’bout Sebastapol on file cat? waiz awhil ago…)
mii, 2, gaskitteh an momkitteh–must B teh pitts! my hart goes owt 2 peepz wiff healf probs. Empathy throu experience, I gess. Iz rlly the pitts 2 take meds wif nasty side effekts!!! I useta git a liddle asthma meny yrs ago, an one time eye used my sons’ inhaler (prolly albuteral) in Church, instead of my own, and got so jittery and shaky I haddta go home. sucks.
Aw momcat – gascat. Ai don’t know what to sai. It’z just nawt rite when yur alreddee down to be getting kiked again.
An gascat – ai am so sorree taht yoo missed taht wunderful experience. Ai can awnlee say – bee nawt too sad – menee otter wunderful things will be coming yur way.
Wehn ai wuz 8, mai grade skool did a kiddee vershun ov Humperdinck’s “Hansel and Gretel.” Ai wuz Gretel – an it wuz just thrilling. Ai just lubbed doin it. Mai grampa even gave mee a dollar cuz ai wuz so gud (an taht wuz a lot ov munee then- fer mee, eneway.)
An after it wuz over, an we were putt to bed, ai lay thar and sobbed mai hart out, becuz it wuz over an ai knew nothing taht wunderful wud ever ever happen to mee again.
Well, ov corse ai wuz rong a thousand tiems over. An ai am shur it will bee teh same wif yoo. Menee wunderful thingz ar shurlee coming yur way. Juss bee a liddle pashunt.
Momcat & gascat, ai shur hoep fings look up 4 yu berry soon! Iss tuff wen tings go rong enny tiem but speshally sew wen it happenz durin teh hollydaze.
May 2008 brings yu all menny blessingz!
step away from the bukkit, and no one gets hurt…
lolrus no get tazed. ples no taze lolrus! Cant a bruddah look for buket in peice?
Pwetty pwease….i was hoping fer you to do donuts in the sand and put on yer siren and your blue and red flashy lites…come on, den i go body surfing with yer boogie boards…coarse i don need one of them u know
at leez share yur donuts !!!
Cantz we awl jus get alongz?
yoo know–lyke taht ol’ Karpenter an teh lolrus,
dey B jus walkin along teh beech,
nyce an frendly-lyke in teh middel off teh nite,
wen teh son wuz shining on teh see,
Dey b sad ’bout awl dat sand ebberywhere,
butt day hadded tyme
2 talk bout rlly ‘portant stuff–
cabbages an kings, hot water, pigs’ wings…
Doze were teh daze,
wuz it just a phaze?
dees kwestions i raze,
know kneed 2 taze!!!
lubs dat pome! haz record ub SIR cyril richardz singin it!
it bery awld n scratched butz I still lub it!
momcat
Reskue DO NOT WANT!!!1! Jus leev me alone wif dis car a few moor minuts, kthxbai.
Pweese not to be tazing!
Oh noes, not taze me bro again…
I goes to UF. I noes that kid. We worked at teh newspaper together when he was a freshman and I was a junior. He was extremely stupid. This lolrus shouldn’t get tazed, he’s just joy ridin’
Ize jus a see lyon wit a bal at tha carnival… (music reference?)
http://www.lolsquirrel.com
Doze sum hytek sheelds yooz gots, ossifurs
http://www.lolsquirrel.com
omg this is the funniest lolrus ever. HAHAHAHA!
Dis lolsealion (iz OK wurd?) iz named Chippy (dat is California Highway Patrol car he’z sittin on). Trukker found him bout 60 milez frm oshun. CHP did not taze. (Some a-hole had shot him in head be4 trukker found.) Got reskued, got helthy and went back to sea, haz been spotted a few timez around San Francisco since reskue in 2004. Dere is book 4 liddle wunz wid story – look up “Chippy” in u library.
sealolion
Oh fank yew fur teh informashun on Chippy! I neber heard bout him.
Nise to hab a happeh ending affer teh stoopy hoomin hurt him. Y oh Y wud ennybuddy do dat? Stoopy and criminal.
Yes, donservo – thank yoo so mutchlee fur teh bak storee. It iz always so mutch moar interesting to know what is REELEE goin awn.
“I jusss wonna ask tha bukkit a qestion!!!!”
BUUUUZZZZZZZ!!!!
ZAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“now if…if everyone could calm down… i’m going to answer his question..”
How about, “Id lyk 2 report a missen bukkit” ?
The years have not been kind to Helen Thomas.
OMG !!! AAAAAIIIEEEEEEE !!!!! LOL’S !!!
http://www.jillstanek.com/archives/helen%20thomas.jpg
uhmm……..
ROFLLOLOLOLOLLLLL!!!!!!
poor, poor Helen…. de yeers and stress has been unkind, indeed….
ROFL!! Floor of whiit hoose prezz room rolling.
Mebee, butts I lub her.
She’s one ov teh onwee ones dats nawt fraid to ask teh tuff kweshuns.
seemz 2 haff taken quite a tole on hurr.
Wow, Roemow – we thinkz so mutch aliek it is skeeree! Helen Thomas haz teh reel gutz. Ai admire her to no end. An taht awful shrubbeee thing thar in our White House – had teh NERVE to taek away her seat!!!
Ai fink HT iz teh ORIGINALOL ‘Red Hat’ societee lady!! Speeks her mynd, no care whut enneywun finks…..
Oarsum!
“…but I didn’t take the lolrus bucket!”
“dang prostrate exam”
“Better see the Mechanic… A seal’s kinda loose on your car Ed.”
much much funnee!!!!1!
this is STILL the newest one???????????????????????????
jus sos u noes-
bonuf pitchur awlwaiz da las pitchur ub da dai……
momcat
Letz has a look under hood– Oh noes, trubble is on tops uv hood!
If you’re making fun of the guy that got tazered to death, you just lost my esteem.
wii iz laffin at teh tay-zerz, naught teh tayzee. ore, moreover, teh koncept of tayzing a basically harmless one.
Relax. It’s in reference to some punk college kid who interrupted a press conference and wasn’t smart enough to know when to shut up and beat it. So they tased him. He wasn’t hurt.
well, I agree that he wasn’t “tazered to death” literally. And he kid may have been a jerk, too. But I am sure that being tazed hurt very much. And I take issue with using such forcefull and violent means to control people–even punks–and take away their freedom of speech. That’s just scary.
I saw it on the news, and it made me sad. That is why is said that it is the taze-OORs we (me, at least) are poking fun at. And the concept of tazing a person or animal who is not endangering anyone.
I’m talking about the Polish guy in a Canadian airport, the cops killed him with tazers. Didn’t know about the jerk kid at a conference.
“sniff sniff… I detect illegal levels of fish in this Mercury.”
LOL! Another bad (good?) pun!!
Puns is the lowest form of humor.
Therefore a reelee reelee gud pun iz reelee reelee bad.
Hello, Onstar?
It rubs the lotion on its skin… or it gets the hose again
“You’re under arrest for a Phishing operation.”
In the end Heidi Klum paid the bail and seal was immediately set free.
lolrus is makin an ascape to da icacrem shup
Rescue hoomin in front: Git off teh trunk, lolrus.
Lolrus: Dis mah butt, kiss it.
Police hoomin in back: snicker, HAHAHA, dat funneh.
Rescue hoomin in front: Wut so funneh? It your trunk.
Wut did seel do rong? wut did seel do rong? wut did seel do rong? he did nothin. why r u doing dis to seel? why? get ur hand off hym. dont taze him. dont taze hym. ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
Nooo!! don’t tase teh lolrus!!
u know, sometimes i wonder about the copz. do they not know that the LOLruz is jus lookin fr himz bukkit? poor lolruz
wher teh bukkit?