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Xmas story usually omits giant cat


funny pictures

bearing furball

picture: Me, myself, & I, lol caption: BunnyLoo

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» 151 comments

  1. Ambercat says:

    An tehy fown Mairy an josef an teh babe – AND AN ENORMUSS JIANT KITTEH – lyin in a maynjer!

    • emme says:

      gud on U adn wat a gibnormus mangr it were. No danzin jus silent night

    • Gober says:

      Awey in a maynjir, no crib for his bed -becors AN ENORMUSS JIANT KITTEH wars mownopalyzin it- teh littul lord Jezes laid down hims sweet hed

      • JAJEH says:

        Ai herd aboud a large Natibiddy in a store dat had a kitteh. Kitteh wud trow bebby Jesus outta de manger an sleep in it himself.

        • onceajinx says:

          LOL, beeg storee heer in LA, besydes da raynins, iz dat sumwun stolded liek a duzin baybe Jeebuses. Dey awl had notes on em whut sed “Jeebus nawt gone, Hims just nawt bornded yet! Yoo kin git Him et OLPH” (Dat’s Owr Laydee uv Purr-Pet-Yoo-Awl Help Church). Da Monseenyer uv da church wuz mistifyed by awl da bebe Jeebuses whut suddenlee appeerd in frunt uv a Maree stachoo wun nite!

          4 uv da Jeebuses awreddee went home. Wun laydee sez she gwine nayl Him down so He dunt distapeer agin!

          But is troof, da maynjur shood be MT until Xmas, rite? Cuz Hims nawt bornded yet!

          • 3rin says:

            dat is tru-i neber fot of dat!

          • Gober says:

            Lol, teh nonnermus Jezes-steeler is absowlootly rite!

            We yoosed to set it up liek dis:

            Maynjir wif donkie an oks in teh beginning of desembur.
            Josef an Maerie arribe a few days afore krismas.
            Baybe Jezes is put in teh krib on krismas nite, shepards an sheeps come a littul layter.
            Teh wyze men start travelin to teh maynjur on krismas eev but doan arribe til teh 6th ob janyooarie.

            Elaborit krismas ritchuals, we had dem

          • JAJEH says:

            Ai tink sum plazes dats cuzzomaree – mozt Catlick chuches heer v emmpee manger til Christmess.

          • kittehlurve says:

            mai frends kitteh taeks cayr ob taht. kitteh lieks plays wif bebe Jesus frum teh nayvity seeen. she has hard tiem gettin bebe Jesus baks in tiem furr krismas. tehn kitteh duz bebejesusnappin agen. it is teh funnees 2 wach.

          • Jennifffuurr says:

            Wen I wuz a liddle kit, I stold teh babee frum mah momma’s nativitee seen, an lef a note made owt ov lettrs n wurdz I cut outta a magzine “If U evawan C teh babee agin, leev a can ov Planterz Cashoos by teh camel by minnite, an nobuddy gits hirt.” Momma lef can ov cashoos wif note “U R wat U eet! (nutz!)” Nex yeer, got box ov Nilla Wafers. Tryde 4 ponee teh nex yeer, but dinnot wurk owt. Momma snote sed teh camel fritened ponee away. Am not shur she reelly tryed…I seen no horseshoo pritz on teh shag carpets!

    • SarahD says:

      Teh star uf Bethlihim = big yello kitteh eyez!

    • CRAZYCATLADY says:

      MAH MINI NATIVETEE SET NEVAH CAME WIF GIANT BLACK CAT!!! DEY RIPPED MEH AWF!!

  2. Gober says:

    Oh so dats wuh Myr meens!

    Ai allus wundered…

  3. sbz says:

    damn im fast ^-^

  4. cSmall says:

    an teh kitteh sed unto dem:
    “Feer nawt, 4 i bwing yu gud tidins uv grate joi
    4 untu yu iz borndeded tihs dai in teh citteh uv Dayvid,
    a sayv…a sai…teh wun hoo will maek tings beddur…wich is Cwist, Teh Lawrd”

  5. gremlin says:

    An der wuz in da saem cuntree kittehs, abyding in de feelds, keepin watch ober der maussies bai nite. . .

  6. emme says:

    fun-knee da comentz sayz 3, but whenklicked sayz none

  7. Kathleen says:

    Him bee a poor kitteh, him did him bess fur U.

    • Tiny Cheezburger & Angel Catburger says:

      mefinks poor kittahs r teh bestest. dem r nawt shpoild. dem GIBES gud snorgls, eensted ob jus xpctng dem.

      • Tiny Cheezburger & Angel Catburger says:

        lyke teh ornj kittah een mah neyburhud. him r teh stray but r berry fwendlee an’ lubs eberywun an’ eberyting.

        • gremlin says:

          I hadda orinj kitteh cum bai last yeer.

          First he caem by in de summer an hung owt in de shayd ub mai yard whyl I wurked wit my posies. Ayd luk up an see himz orinj faec watchin meh. He wuz skinneh. I naemd him “Slim Pickins.”

          Den he caem closr, let himzself be pettid. Wutta niec kitteh, but so thin! Then wun dai de beh-beh birdies in de lilac bush got eeted – an Slim displayed an unyooshual nowlidge ub de criem sceen! Himz also lukked sleek and purry dat week.

          We put owt fuds on frunt porch, an a box, an a blankit. He wud alwaiyz cum over, sai hello, purr a whyl, maek niec, an den *finally* when it was approwpreeat, hav a snak. Alwaiyz vizzit furst, den de snaks.

          I tawt I wuz gunna be a kitteh-mommeh agin (he wuz wyld, cuntree kitteh). Wuz awl eggscited.

          Den after de furst snow in December ob last yeer, he disappeerd. Nebber saw him agen.

          Lief iz liek dis in de cuntree. De annymalz cum, an dey goez. Wurst ob awl, yoo neber noes “de rest ob de storee.”

          *sigh*

          • Elvis says:

            Aw gremlin, ai fink dat kitteh lubbed yoo. An yoo ar a gud purrson cuz yoo wuz sew nise to hims an maded his slim lyfe a liddle fadder!

          • Johnson442 says:

            (said with sad smile and absolute sincerity:)

            I’ve had…we’ve had…too-many-to-count kyats over teh last 20 yeers. And is as you say, “they comes and they goes”.

            Only on a few occaisions was I there to ‘see’ the “end” of the story. And no, it never got/gets easier. Little harder each time, actually…Ask any Vet how often the owner is almost falling apart when losing a furry kid! I’ve scared a couple, I think…..

            I have to consider it a gift from God that they “go” somewhere before they “GO”, so to speak! Heartbreaking? My heart’s a bag of broken glass! and Meds can only help you so much!

            Yes, I know why Christmas is such an ironicly stress-ful season…

            • JAJEH says:

              Kipling sed “Beware of giving your heart to a dog to tear!” Same with kitties. They just wrench the heart out of you.

            • cSmall says:

              ooooooh (((((((((((((Johnson)))))))))))

              hooever sed tis bedder 2 hav luved an lawst than nevver 2 hav luvved at awl…shud eat mah shorts!

              “bag of broken glass” *teery eyes*

              yu has friends heer J442!!! (((((((((((((Johnson))))))))))

            • gremlin says:

              J442 (and udder cheez-frenz):

              Yoo ar so rite! Mai parints libbed (an still do lib) in de cuntree awl der libes. I members menneh stray kittehs (an sumtiems goggies) who caem and went. Alwaiyz wuz de orinj kittehs dat broked my hart de mostest.

              I tuk pikshoors ub Slim, so at leest I haz doze. Awl he left meh wuz a few pikshoors an an emptee box – wit a blankit innit, wit dirty paw printz onnit. An memreez. Datz awl.

              My boyfren lubs kittehs too, an wuz de furst wun to tuch Slim. We sez to eech uvver – member dat summer when Slim ate de yard birds? Den we sez – dat sowns liek a gud naem for a rock band! Slim an de Yard Birds! An we laffs owrselvs silleh.

              I dinnot gno de reel ending, so I gaev Slim a happeh ending in my hart. When I tinks ub him, I pikshoors himz got adopted, an is libbin wit a famblee dat treez hims well. Dey feez him an lubs him an gibs him treetz an toys, an at Crismuss mebbe he luks owt de window ub himz warm hows an remembers meh . . .

            • JAJEH says:

              Cud be – he mai hab had multibble plaecez tu vizzit! We cen hope so!

            • JAJEH says:

              Ad leez, he had a fren, a berry gud fren.

        • Munch says:

          b carrfool– teh ornj ones r poysin!

          • Johnson442 says:

            (must keep teers off keyboard…)

            To all those whose kind words and virtual hugs have helped me get through the last few months:

            May the Angels of Heaven now ride forth to do war upon all those who would hurt you, whether they be physical enemies…or not!

            I, known here as Johnson442, say this!

    • LuvBJones says:

      Bebbeh Jeezus appreeciates teh furball! Jus hope Josef dint haf to step in it.

  8. philene says:

    ryt! cuz Keeng Jaymez were lerjik to kittehs dats wy left owt!

  9. French kitteh got confyuzed. Read about teh “manger” and thot fud wood be served.

  10. jpet says:

    Oh, eyez of wunder
    Eyez of lite
    Eyes of kitteh, glowing brite!

  11. Allen says:

    Mai kittehs always stampede lil villages in da house. The lil peeples are liek “oh noes! Godzilla kitteh ahhh!”

  12. karen says:

    wut’s teh problm? itz juss ceiling cat keeping gard ovr bebbeh jeebus. you nevrr herd tihs part uv teh storee?

  13. Scorpio says:

    The punchline actually goes:

    “And the cat said to the baby Jesus ‘Here kid, have a mouse!’”

  14. karen says:

    it is sed taht teh 3 wize mens folloed a starr in teh eest 2 get 2 beth leehem. wen tehy gots closer 2 teh manjer thare was a giant cat wif shinee eyez! the giant kitteh sais, pssst, wut did u bring him? murr? gole? frank in cents? wut a bebbeh can du wif taht?? u gots enny nip?

  15. LuvBJones says:

    Teh kat ins teh skiey
    Lukd down wer he lay

  16. snuglitoy says:

    I fink dis kitteh is like udder wun, lewkin foar teh baybee Cheezus…

  17. zippycat says:

    Comme, dey toll me
    Meow meow mowww
    Da noobornd King tew see
    Meow meow mowww
    I hab no giff to bring
    Meow meow mowww
    Dat’s fit to gib a King
    Meow meow mowww
    Meow meow mowww
    Meow meow mowwwwww
    Sew, I’ll seeng fur Him
    Meow meow mowwwwww
    Him, our King….

  18. zippycat says:

    Sed teh liddle lamb tew teh shepper boi,
    Do u see wut Ai see? (Do u see wut Ai see?)
    Standeeng in the darkk, shepper boi
    Do u see wut Ai see? (Do u see wut Ai see?)
    A kat .. a kat .. eyes shining liek a star
    Waching ober Jesus, neer and farrrr
    Waching ober Jesus, neeer and far….

  19. zippycat says:

    O beeg hyooj kat ov Beffleehem,
    Ur eyes, dey do shine so brite!
    Abuv teh manjer u do sit
    An purr soo soff-lee.
    An in the manjer lies,
    the noobornd King of lite!
    U sit ober him wacheenglee
    Eyes shynin eber brite!

  20. KC says:

    I bringz da murr ball.

  21. spykes_mom says:

    teh yoobikwituss barn kitteh, teh hardess werkin animule wut keepz teh manjur free ob mousees n ovver pests, dun getz eeben a liddul menshun in teh storee.

  22. typingisnotactivism says:

    Snagglefartz ov Breathlahem sez “yew, baaay-beh, get in mah belleh!”

    • onceajinx says:

      Aye wunnerd hoo wuz steelin awl da bebe Jeebusis frum da maynjur seens!

    • Kathleen says:

      …an teh Lawd reproached teh kitteh, an sent a stoopee gog too mildly vex teh kitteh for a time, an sed, “No, Kitteh…dis bebbee not fur u. Dis speshull bebbee an u muss suffur it too pulls ur tail an nom it and poke ur eers an has Hims dominyun obbur u. Butt I will not allows too much aggurvashun fur u, kitteh,….heer, hab a cheezburgur an doan powt. Gibs mee gray hairs. Kthxbai.”

  23. catalogical humor says:

    We 3 kingz wure led here
    by teh star rising in teh East
    turns out it was Ceiling Cat guiding us
    from abuve
    and watching over us
    as we…as we…i gonna leeves out that part

  24. The Crapture says:

    it’s Jesus Christ, find a lion and put it in the car!

  25. onceajinx says:

    Teh kitteh bears a harbl
    As fuzzeh as a lamm
    An Mary bores sweet Jeebus Kryst
    To be R sweet Savor
    O da risin uv da sun
    An teh warmin uv da fur
    Teh playin uv da merry bebe kittehs
    Sweet purrin in ma bed

    Teh harbl and the powderpuff
    Now boff R full well grown,
    Of all the timez to go to da vet,
    Nao iz good to purrvent unwantid birfs!
    O teh rising uv teh moon
    An teh running of teh meeses
    Teh playins uv da merry kittens
    Sweet purrin on ma lap!

  26. onceajinx says:

    Hark how da kittehs,
    sweet fuzzee kittehs,
    all seem to say,
    cheeseburgers away

    Catmas is here,
    bringing good cheer,
    to young and old,
    meek and teh bold.

    Mew purr mew purr
    dat is der sawng
    with plushee fur
    all de liv lawng day.

  27. onceajinx says:

    O kitteh at nite! Yor ayez R brightlee shining,
    It is teh lite refleckin frum yor shinee orbs.
    Long lay teh whirled in floofless snorgle pining.
    Till yoo appeered and we felt yor sawft furs!
    A frill of hope R weery fingurrz tingle,
    For yonder iz a sawft an floofee form.
    Fall on mai lap! Oh, let me pet yor sawftniss!
    O cat divine, teh cat whuts in mai hows;
    O cat, O floofee cat, O kitteh minez!

    • zippycat says:

      Dis iz teh BESTEST kitteh karol eber!!

      Elebentytwennyfoartyfree cheezburgrz for u!!!

      *cheer*

      • onceajinx says:

        Fang yoo!!! Iz myee fayvrit too!

        (Dem udders iz Da Hawlee an de Ivee an Carol uv da Kitteh Bells)

        • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

          Oh onceajinx -is wun ov mai fayvrits too. An yoo haz broughted the teerz to mai ayez wif yur wonderful noo lyrikz. Awl yur noo sawngz ar – specatular! “Long lay teh whirled in floofless snorgle pining” and “For yonder iz a sawft an floofee form”. . .jeenyus!!

          • gremlin says:

            Onceajinx – I *lubs* dis! I wuz sittin at hoem lass nite singin to maiself “in floofless snorgle pining.” Wunderful!

  28. JAJEH says:

    Wen ai waz yung, we had a lot of wunerful plaztic aminal ub all taipes – lions, seels, hippo, rhinos – an we’d add dem to r Natibby sceen.

    Ai speks diz kitteh gonna knock all de figgers down wen leff alone.

  29. Mama3kitteh says:

    Kittehs we hev herd awn hi
    Switly purrin ore the plen
    En the goggies in riplai
    ekko out they glow ris strenns
    Meooow, Meooow, Meooow,
    Meooow, Meooow, Meooow,
    En egg shell sees Dayo!

  30. SueBooCat says:

    huyoik–HERK! huyoik–Herk!
    huyoik all da way!
    hurry and scoop dem off da bed when
    you hears da huyoik star-rrrrrt

    huyoik-HERK huyoik-HERK!
    GET DEM OFF DA BED!
    only ting worse den steppin in herk
    is havin it on yer hed.

    ***ewww***

    • zippycat says:

      Wowzers, juss wen I thot I hab seend awl teh bestest kitteh karols! Anudder wynn! Ai dun eben knoe hao mennee burgerz to gib u!!

      Fittyelebentysebbentyfoarty!

    • Ambercat says:

      Teh wun ting werser tahn cleenin up catsik is cleenin up WARM catsik! Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!

      • spykes_mom says:

        eww. purrsonally, ai preefur to juszt let it get hard n dry…onlee taykes a day or too…tehn yoo ken juszt pool teh hole fing awf in wun peace. az yoo myte imajin, wee dunt haz mush kumpanee.
        :-)

        • onceajinx says:

          LOL, Aye did dat too. Had bayj carpit in ma aparkmint, so da catfud barfeez matchd reel gud! Cors, sumtiemz, Aye had no choys but kleen up draied wuns, ef Aye finded dem aftur a day or too!

          Aye jus haytid steppin in da warm wuns. In da dark. Wen Aye gots ta pee. Sigh.

  31. lelah says:

    wut dis b da maynjerwe haf, and dat be da kitteh we haf naymed TaMooMoos. It be a Cristmouse MEERUHKAL!!!!

  32. Tribble says:

    Crizmaz stori not omit jiant kitteh. De norf star wuz jiant kittehz lazer eye.
    Hee jus kep outta site, sew hee woodent scare da bejesus outta dem.

  33. Mikey! says:

    I jus hope kitteh no nom christmouse that was wid tree wyz guiz. dat mouz waz keyoot.

  34. Simpson says:

    enormos kittah dissprovz of ur natevety storeh

  35. opramum says:

    And dey sey deres no katz menshoned en de Bible….

    • Kathleen says:

      Yah, I lookded it up too. I beeleeve dats rite. I tink caws silleh peepuls wut messed wiff Bibul an re-rote it too dere satisfakshun had low upinyun ub cats and wuz superstishus or tot dey wuz occultish?

      Dummies. :(

      • onceajinx says:

        Aye ugree! Fur a relijun whut cumz alawt frum da jypshuns, der shood be moar menshun uv da kittehs!!!

        • cSmall says:

          ah thimk wuz a respwns 2 Jyptshuns an tehr “Pagan” beleefs…awlso kitteh god wuz a Goddess, an teh wimmens wernt so berry hi awn teh romuns oar teh cristyunses lists…

        • Jennifffuurr says:

          I unnerstood taht teh jupshuns was defeeten by teh pershunz een jyunt battl bcuz teh pershunz carreed Kittehs insted ov wearin armur, noing teh jyphsuns wood NEVA harm teh kittehs. I kinna dowt tihs iz teh troof, tho, cuz wooden teh jypshuns an teh pershuns meetin like taht hav rezultid in a snorglefest taht wooda led to whirled peas?

  36. D.R. says:

    Story also not say much abowt kitteh eetin entyr cast of animoos in barn

    “I likes mah cheezburgers rare… Urp.”

  37. two_kittehs says:

    Black kitteh with the lazaree eyez sayz: Praize the lord and pass the
    cheezburger.

  38. 6ToedCatsRule says:

    Maybe it wasn’t a star that led the three wise men to Bethlehem, maybe it was giant Kitteh lazer beam eyes. Think about it people!!! The Bible leaves out a lot of small details like this.

  39. Overcast says:

    Foar gewd raisin, tew!

  40. maneki neko says:

    mai pair rents hav wite cat dat get ner na… nyt… Jezus, Merry, Josef an animalz seene, an looke like big anjel luking down frum abuv.

  41. doctorcat says:

    Ma kittehs takes turns lyin down behine teh manger. Dey likes to nock teh angels an shepherds aroun, but nebber touches teh Bebbeh Jesus.

    Kitteh sez: “Once in Royal David’s City”–ur doin it rong. Teh reel wurds goes like dis:

    Wunce by royal David’s Kitty
    Stood a lowly cattle shed
    Ware a muvver lade her bebbeh
    In a manger for his bed. . .

    • jpet says:

      Mary wuz dat muvver myld
      Jesus Christ her liddle chyld

      Dis mah favrit Christmas song! I lyk teh vershun on teh Cheeftens’ “Bells of Dubblin.”

  42. JAJEH says:

    Summbuddy libs widd a berry preddy blaek kitteh!

  43. narsina says:

    i has teh saem eggsact naytivitee seen. lolcat and awll.

  44. jim says:

    “XMAS” with the nativity scene… eh bold to say the least.

  45. dancehavoc says:

    GRAH!!!! ‘TIS BASEMENT CAT!

  46. Cygnia says:

    Gold, franken…frankenstuff and murr. :)

    (Kittehs alwayz bring da Murr)

  47. bob says:

    hiz i r mastr lolspekr i chaling u tooo a lolspek chaling

  48. bob says:

    tri to winer agenst meh

  49. bob says:

    ohe ya wel iz hre onse mi cat pood on one of doze mari &nd jisus thingz

    p.s (this is not in lolspeak) i have 3 gerbils 3 fish &nd 2 cats


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