Xmas story usually omits giant cat
bearing furball
picture: Me, myself, & I, lol caption: BunnyLoo
« Previous Oprea kittah | Secret Squirrel training facility Next »
Add this to your blog:
146 Comments »
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
An tehy fown Mairy an josef an teh babe - AND AN ENORMUSS JIANT KITTEH - lyin in a maynjer!
gud on U adn wat a gibnormus mangr it were. No danzin jus silent night
Tehy maed tehm big in tohse dais!
Behbehs an kittehs in teh saem bed - nawt shor it’d be a verree sylunt nite!
U rite Ambercat…sometimes not silent in dai eifer. Mai Emme likes to talk a lot when not snoozin on me lap
Dere sohm storee bout how bebe Jeezuz no culd get 2 sleep, an a stripee kitteh n her bebez cuddled up nex 2 himz and mad him cozee wif der floof an purrin. Maree wuz so hapee she kissed da kitteh’s hed, n datz why wen u look at stripee kitteh da stripez awn da hed iz shaped lik n “M” for Maree.
ai nebber hurd dat storee. fank yoo, diva!
Aww…very sweet!
wellz dat esplains da star abovz da mengerz
Awey in a maynjir, no crib for his bed -becors AN ENORMUSS JIANT KITTEH wars mownopalyzin it- teh littul lord Jezes laid down hims sweet hed
Ai herd aboud a large Natibiddy in a store dat had a kitteh. Kitteh wud trow bebby Jesus outta de manger an sleep in it himself.
LOL, beeg storee heer in LA, besydes da raynins, iz dat sumwun stolded liek a duzin baybe Jeebuses. Dey awl had notes on em whut sed “Jeebus nawt gone, Hims just nawt bornded yet! Yoo kin git Him et OLPH” (Dat’s Owr Laydee uv Purr-Pet-Yoo-Awl Help Church). Da Monseenyer uv da church wuz mistifyed by awl da bebe Jeebuses whut suddenlee appeerd in frunt uv a Maree stachoo wun nite!
4 uv da Jeebuses awreddee went home. Wun laydee sez she gwine nayl Him down so He dunt distapeer agin!
But is troof, da maynjur shood be MT until Xmas, rite? Cuz Hims nawt bornded yet!
dat is tru-i neber fot of dat!
Lol, teh nonnermus Jezes-steeler is absowlootly rite!
We yoosed to set it up liek dis:
Maynjir wif donkie an oks in teh beginning of desembur.
Josef an Maerie arribe a few days afore krismas.
Baybe Jezes is put in teh krib on krismas nite, shepards an sheeps come a littul layter.
Teh wyze men start travelin to teh maynjur on krismas eev but doan arribe til teh 6th ob janyooarie.
Elaborit krismas ritchuals, we had dem
Aive herd ub sumpeeple hu muve wizefellas all around de room, clozer n clozer to manger
sowns moer lyk teh skeery stoen anjels form Dr Hoo to me!
Donut tern rown, donut luk awai, donut blink. Srsly, DONUT BLINK!!!
Ambercat - taht waz sum srsly skeery Dr Hoo episodes!
Aye alwayz wunnert why Aye wuz skeerd ub stachoowaree, NAO AYE NOZ!!!!! DONUT BLINK!!!
Ai tink sum plazes dats cuzzomaree - mozt Catlick chuches heer v emmpee manger til Christmess.
Iz cuzzomaree in mai Looturan church too.
mai frends kitteh taeks cayr ob taht. kitteh lieks plays wif bebe Jesus frum teh nayvity seeen. she has hard tiem gettin bebe Jesus baks in tiem furr krismas. tehn kitteh duz bebejesusnappin agen. it is teh funnees 2 wach.
Wen I wuz a liddle kit, I stold teh babee frum mah momma’s nativitee seen, an lef a note made owt ov lettrs n wurdz I cut outta a magzine “If U evawan C teh babee agin, leev a can ov Planterz Cashoos by teh camel by minnite, an nobuddy gits hirt.” Momma lef can ov cashoos wif note “U R wat U eet! (nutz!)” Nex yeer, got box ov Nilla Wafers. Tryde 4 ponee teh nex yeer, but dinnot wurk owt. Momma snote sed teh camel fritened ponee away. Am not shur she reelly tryed…I seen no horseshoo pritz on teh shag carpets!
Teh star uf Bethlihim = big yello kitteh eyez!
MAH MINI NATIVETEE SET NEVAH CAME WIF GIANT BLACK CAT!!! DEY RIPPED MEH AWF!!
Oh so dats wuh Myr meens!
Ai allus wundered…
*hugs self* Oh, wunnurfull!!
Myr wuz short fer “Myr-rowl?”
Or teh weezy sounz wen teh furball hacks up …
*MYR MYR MYR …KAAACK!@!*
damn im fast ^-^
Not fass enuff, it uppeers…
*snickur*
Aye tink it ravver slo, mehseff!
Onlee aboud half-fast.
I lol’ed
But Ambercat iz faster by far.
zipzipzip!!! Tehre Ai go!
Is teh Speedie Gonzales of Ingerlant!
Pryde commez befawr a fawll
an teh kitteh sed unto dem:
“Feer nawt, 4 i bwing yu gud tidins uv grate joi
4 untu yu iz borndeded tihs dai in teh citteh uv Dayvid,
a sayv…a sai…teh wun hoo will maek tings beddur…wich is Cwist, Teh Lawrd”
…N dat’s wut Krismus iz awl uhbawt, Charlee Brahwn.
Dat an harblls!
undur da twee in mai howse!
kittehs r gud at bringin tidins ob cumfurrt n joi
cumfurrt n joi
o o tidins ob cumfurrt n joi.
stompee stompee stompee, purr purr, snorglez, purrs, curdels-ups, snuggles….gushiefuds nao?
An der wuz in da saem cuntree kittehs, abyding in de feelds, keepin watch ober der maussies bai nite. . .
fun-knee da comentz sayz 3, but whenklicked sayz none
Him bee a poor kitteh, him did him bess fur U.
mefinks poor kittahs r teh bestest. dem r nawt shpoild. dem GIBES gud snorgls, eensted ob jus xpctng dem.
lyke teh ornj kittah een mah neyburhud. him r teh stray but r berry fwendlee an’ lubs eberywun an’ eberyting.
I hadda orinj kitteh cum bai last yeer.
First he caem by in de summer an hung owt in de shayd ub mai yard whyl I wurked wit my posies. Ayd luk up an see himz orinj faec watchin meh. He wuz skinneh. I naemd him “Slim Pickins.”
Den he caem closr, let himzself be pettid. Wutta niec kitteh, but so thin! Then wun dai de beh-beh birdies in de lilac bush got eeted - an Slim displayed an unyooshual nowlidge ub de criem sceen! Himz also lukked sleek and purry dat week.
We put owt fuds on frunt porch, an a box, an a blankit. He wud alwaiyz cum over, sai hello, purr a whyl, maek niec, an den *finally* when it was approwpreeat, hav a snak. Alwaiyz vizzit furst, den de snaks.
I tawt I wuz gunna be a kitteh-mommeh agin (he wuz wyld, cuntree kitteh). Wuz awl eggscited.
Den after de furst snow in December ob last yeer, he disappeerd. Nebber saw him agen.
Lief iz liek dis in de cuntree. De annymalz cum, an dey goez. Wurst ob awl, yoo neber noes “de rest ob de storee.”
*sigh*
Aw gremlin, ai fink dat kitteh lubbed yoo. An yoo ar a gud purrson cuz yoo wuz sew nise to hims an maded his slim lyfe a liddle fadder!
(said with sad smile and absolute sincerity:)
I’ve had…we’ve had…too-many-to-count kyats over teh last 20 yeers. And is as you say, “they comes and they goes”.
Only on a few occaisions was I there to ’see’ the “end” of the story. And no, it never got/gets easier. Little harder each time, actually…Ask any Vet how often the owner is almost falling apart when losing a furry kid! I’ve scared a couple, I think…..
I have to consider it a gift from God that they “go” somewhere before they “GO”, so to speak! Heartbreaking? My heart’s a bag of broken glass! and Meds can only help you so much!
Yes, I know why Christmas is such an ironicly stress-ful season…
Kipling sed “Beware of giving your heart to a dog to tear!” Same with kitties. They just wrench the heart out of you.
ooooooh (((((((((((((Johnson)))))))))))
hooever sed tis bedder 2 hav luved an lawst than nevver 2 hav luvved at awl…shud eat mah shorts!
“bag of broken glass” *teery eyes*
yu has friends heer J442!!! (((((((((((((Johnson))))))))))
J442 (and udder cheez-frenz):
Yoo ar so rite! Mai parints libbed (an still do lib) in de cuntree awl der libes. I members menneh stray kittehs (an sumtiems goggies) who caem and went. Alwaiyz wuz de orinj kittehs dat broked my hart de mostest.
I tuk pikshoors ub Slim, so at leest I haz doze. Awl he left meh wuz a few pikshoors an an emptee box - wit a blankit innit, wit dirty paw printz onnit. An memreez. Datz awl.
My boyfren lubs kittehs too, an wuz de furst wun to tuch Slim. We sez to eech uvver - member dat summer when Slim ate de yard birds? Den we sez - dat sowns liek a gud naem for a rock band! Slim an de Yard Birds! An we laffs owrselvs silleh.
I dinnot gno de reel ending, so I gaev Slim a happeh ending in my hart. When I tinks ub him, I pikshoors himz got adopted, an is libbin wit a famblee dat treez hims well. Dey feez him an lubs him an gibs him treetz an toys, an at Crismuss mebbe he luks owt de window ub himz warm hows an remembers meh . . .
Cud be - he mai hab had multibble plaecez tu vizzit! We cen hope so!
Ad leez, he had a fren, a berry gud fren.
b carrfool– teh ornj ones r poysin!
(must keep teers off keyboard…)
To all those whose kind words and virtual hugs have helped me get through the last few months:
May the Angels of Heaven now ride forth to do war upon all those who would hurt you, whether they be physical enemies…or not!
I, known here as Johnson442, say this!
Bebbeh Jeezus appreeciates teh furball! Jus hope Josef dint haf to step in it.
LOL!
ryt! cuz Keeng Jaymez were lerjik to kittehs dats wy left owt!
dat wud figgur.
ol poop hed.
French kitteh got confyuzed. Read about teh “manger” and thot fud wood be served.
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/02/pardonay-mwah-do-u-has-reservation/