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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
sparkle neeley sparkle !!!
(kitty in background)
“the only hit that comes out of a helen lawson show is helen lawson and that’s ME, baby, remember?”
Valley of the Dolls ref FTW!
Look. They drummed you right outta Hollywood! So ya come crawlin’ back to Broadway. Well, Broadway doesn’t go for booze and dope. Now you get outta my way, I got a guy waitin’ for me.
That’s a switch from the f4gs you’re usually stuck with!
At least I never had to MARRY one!
YOU TAKE THAT BACK… [pulls off Helen's wig while scuffling] oh my God, it’s a wig! HER HAIR’S AS PHONY AS SHE IS!
Wow…what’s with the Shrek kitty in the background? : )
looks lyke a rlll SOURPUSS!!!
da Grinch kitteh,
the widdle kitteh is cindylou kitteh.
it’s Helen Lawson, and she’s not into booze and pills !!!
Aye bet her fays iz full uv fashun!
FURST!!!!
I’m fursty, 2, gotta find my wadder bowl. brb.
*smack*
NO!
Ha. An iffn u eben FINK ur furst, u hafta come up wiff sumfing betterer to sai dan just “FURST!” Pleh.
srsly – and I came up w/ a f-ing valley of the dolls quote, from memory, on a moments notice – so there
“Then I heard she went to Paris to make art films. [laughs] Art films? Nudies! That’s all they are. Nudies.”
but stend – yoo ar teh ultra-clefur. No wun else can doo what yoo can do. But – as Teho never sayed but almoast did (ai think) – wun must at leest trai!!!
ok, ok fwends. let’s juss let teh votes do teh talking, ok? no rools!
.
.
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ok, sum rools:
dont curss. explicitlee.
be nyce. eben if yu dont lyk a fursty cawler
.
.
.
did i sai be nyce?
Ai am nawt getteng a bery nyce vibe frum ICHC todai .. am nawt feeleng gud abowt beeing heer an reeding commintz… peeple ar sayeng they ar “annoyed” wiff lolspeak, oar makeng nastee commints. Do not want! Ai will be gone fur a whyle so u dun need worree bowt me saying “Pleh” to fursty cawlers.
ICHC iz suppost tew bee a happee playce, but iz nawt bery happee todai! (Dis is nawt teh onlee pikshur dat has commintz dat mayde me feel dis wai!)
Bai fur a whyle… mebbe Ai com bak tomo… toom .. dai affer todai.
pleez cum bak! i hoap yu dont think i wuz maeking mean at yu!!!!
there were sum trolls around todai 4 sure – pleez dont stai awai! we has to be heer to maek ICHC teh happee playce we want…rite?
Aww…it’s da ‘bah humbug bluez” Doan let it get you!
I’m not so good at lol but wanted to say I can see why kitteh in background upset … Now new kitteh grab attenshun! Not like!
Doan feel bad, zippycat ;-D
u makes teh praktiss and den u be master of lolspeek
iz der a rite way an a rong whey too spell wurds rong?
jus wunnering.
kthnxbuy
Nooo! We lurves da Zippycat! Is a Monday fore a holiday, an everybuddys off there game!! Weez all crabby…But is ok, zippY!!
PS., do ur chickletts be feeling better??
How ’bout a group snorgle to make it all better??
***snorgle purr snorgle rub***
Ai finks teh grupe snorgle is purrfec fur dis fealing wes awl haz.
Brilyint idear, abracatabra!
Well, not even teh grinch could resist all our groop kyoootnesses!!!
Ai joins groop snorgle
*snorgle snorgle, purrrrrrrrrrr purrrrrrrrrr snorgle*
Awww … Ai caymed bakk juss tew see if der wuz anudder kyoot kitteh (jes, der is!) Ai dun fink Ai cud stai awai frum ICHC fur bery lawng eber. Awl ur commintz mayde me crai IRL! Ai feel teh lurve! I knoe abowt teh trolls cSmall… is stinkee.
Ai am sorree abowt mai akkshuns. Ai am feeling cheeted owt ov the hollydais bekuz ov a lawt ov things, wun is my hoomin kiddies were sik .. fanks for mmembering tehm Abracatabra! Dey ar dooin well .. todai iz their furst dai bak at skool – dey were owt for a hool week! Soe, Ai am a liddle worreed bowt them, hopeng they ar feeleng gud, u know? Den, my mama an daddy ar spendin the hollydais wiff my sissycat, so dey ar far far awai nao, an Ai miss dem. Iz nawt so much the misseng them, but the fakt that dey wull be gone fur Crissmus.
Soe yess, Ai know abowt crabbee todai!! Well, nawt soe mutch “crabbee” as juss feeleng PLEH! Do not want! Want happee feelengs!
Teh groop snorgle iz shur helpeeng! Whyle Ai wus awai, Ai nappeded awn the coutch wiff mai lellow lab goggie, Mango. Her tayks up lawts ov ruum, but iz ok bekuz her keeps me warm an iz a nice snorgle.
Awl this snorgling is mayking me purr… Fank u ebrywun!!
***purrrr***
hope everrywon, including yoo, feel awll better soon : )
Hi zippycat – glad ur purring noaw.
At least we can come heer noaw – for teh 4th tiem dis yeer the fones and innerwebs in mai nayborhood wer down 4 10 dais; teh copper from teh wires was taked. Depending on teh predjoodiss ov who joo speke 2 it was dun bai
1) teh Polish
2) teh travellers
3) teh Nigerians
4)teh druggies
Iz PC grouch – I no care abowt teh efnissitee ov teh ratbags, I jezt hope Rudolph poops in there stawkings!
But now I can see teh pretteh kittehs agen an catch up wiv teh lovely Cheezpeeps an awl is well agen – well almost.
Glad ur kittens r feelin better – mah sistah’s 2 yungist has teh chest infexions 2. Need Dr Tinycat.
Oops fergot to fank L Beeeze and wish many happys
no interwebs foar 10 dais !!!!
dat wud be wai past awfullll !!!
glad yur back !!
Oze, peeplez be stealin ze copp-purrrs, anny? Sounds liek place I knowz in Balti-roar…
Deer Gabo – ai think yoo ar noo heer. Pleeze to nawt bee thinking taht peepl donut liek yoo – it iz awnlee taht yoo shouted “furst.” Ov corse yoo can – but tehn yoo getz teh low burgerz becuz we liek to hav teh peepl in this posishun be az clefur under preshur az tehy can bee.
Taht’z awl.
Liddel kitteh beware: big bruder kitteh are watching Uz
O, I naut worried!! Hymns jus jell-ous ‘cuz eye iz SO MUSH KEEEYOOTER!!!
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake!
…SantaCat is coming to town!
heez bringin bags ob kittehz
jore liddle gurls and boiz,
Cuz kittehz R mush bedder
dan any stoopy toiz!
teh mamaz an teh papaz
kant mayke dem awl behave…
‘cuz kits an kids awl know dat,
mom an dad R kitteh slaves!!!
kitkay, that so great!!!
fanks so mush, pc!1!
I want to add a disclaimer that cats and other pets are not always the best choice for presents, esp. for young children who are probably not mature and responsible enough to take care of a living animal. (chicks and ducks for Easter are esp. irresponsible gifts!)
But, I think that a kitteh would make a joyful Christmas surprize for the kiddies if the parents are committed to the care of the animal, and to teaching the children how to treat the cat, too. Another option could discussing these things in advance, and then picking out the kitteh together.
In the spirit of giving–YOU could also be the Christmas present for a needy kitteh! Joy to you and joy to our furry kitteh friends!
if dat iz posible wood be teh bes prezent 4 bebe kitteh:
foreber hom!!!
ai sarree ai ruynd xmas…again…
Wudn’t dat be ’santapaws’ or ’santaclaws’? ^_^
He’z rite behine mee izn’t hee?
OMG I am SO not going out with him. blair, quick – let’s head for the food court
wee fynd tootie dare ‘n’ mayke funn uv herz brayses?
parentul kitteh duz not aproov
Someone took pitcher i upload to burgerbuilder and make better lol dan me ;-; i admit deres is much much much betterer, but somehow feel dat out of several submission over last week, one would make it to voting page before knockoffs be making it…
m_m – iz dey yer kittehs? oooooh. teh kyoot! wut did teh bebe do to luk so much in trubble?
sry yer submishes dint maek it.
i submit lotsa stuff dis week, is ok, i maek mores!! i is determined!
I iz impresst!!!
dorable tiny kitteh meks dorable mischeef! groan-up kitteh r gellouz n distinkly less dorable.
Def!
Deses kittehs r lyke teh bigges contr…conras….teh difrunt kines in awl wais.
mai big kitteh is distinkly sumtymes, too. himz no kuvvers himz poopoos berry good.
oranjkat sez….”oh shure…evrywon make cutezies and nizies wiff da kitten…
I wuz widdle once….
juss yew wayt widdle one….one day….you be n bakgrown……bein all grumpy.
juss yew wayt.,….
I has soft-spot 4 teh big, ol, fatteh grumpeh kets. Dey seem to invite teh schmoo bai denying teh schmoo.
toadally gree….
you asked for it grumpykins……big ooooolll schmooo, right on da whisker pouf.
ya, mah kitteh, mr.handsome REX alwez b teh grumpz arownd teh yung’inz, butt I lubbz himz teh moast, cuz him finks Im himz hyoomin, so him b cuddlefull wiv meh
but…but…teh orinj ones is pooooiiiiisiiin!
Temple Grandin sez taht orinj kittehs R genetikally dispozed 2 bee moar luvable.
(Iz troo)
Act… iz… wurkin!
*kitteh looks down penitently*
I srry!
*lookz up out ob korner ob hiz I to sea if hiz akt is wurkin*
Is it just me or does that big yellow cat have Voldemort eyes?
U is not the ownly 1.
I skerd!
Joo guiz ar rite! Ai mossly lub awl teh kittehs – hareles, bebehs, oldencats, joo naym it – iffn itz a kitteh, I lub it. But dis big kitteh luks kinna scaree. Ai hoep is just teh wai teh kamerra cawt hims.
That cat in the background is so scary. 0_0
Oh, dat’s onlee teh slit eyes, teh tight nose and teh frown-y-down-y mouf…ah, wate…yer rite!!!
Yez, eye clicked on da ICHC picher dat sayed “Busted!”.
Yez, eye noez dat dere wuz a warning.
Butz eet sayz “delicate senze uff humor”. Eye din no wut dat ment,
sew eye tought eet bee OK.
Noez, eye din askeded u furs.
Yez, now eye noez dat wuz not fur mye leetle eyez tu see.
Noe, eye wont due eet again.
Yez, eye weel stop singin da song bout da internetz being reelie reelie great …fur porn
sorri Mommie, oh an Mom, ur commentz were relli phunnie, specialli da wun bout da pornado!
AVENUE Q FTW!
oh noes, now i iz gonna have that song in my head all day.
Iz not so bad, akshually!
Wuts wiv “delicate senz uv humer?” Dis wun pritty baisic an cyoot, ai finks!
Da picher yesserdai dat wuz alsew cawled “Busted!” Eet sayed: “Parental Unit Guidance: May not be for those wif delicate senses of humors.” “Click below wif cauchun.” Eetz a leetle confuzin wit bof picherz bein cawled “Busted”.
iz mebbe on porpoise?
tihs kitteh is in teh act of bein grownded bai angree ParentalCat, after bein cawt in the sayme rum(off camera) wif erlier busted kitteh?
I fink mite bee on porpus, lyke yoo sed. Dere iz a cunnecshun.
I don fink itz on porpoise or enny odder type ov akwatic mamlol. I cant see wun.
Is imbissibul porpoise.
Fanks, Tribble. Ai wen bak an luoked. Nao Ai gets it!
Angel Kitteh?
Id’nt dat a bit redundunt, Dalorei?
Nu
hadn’t a yu seen angel kitteh?
Eye nebber saw a kitteh who wuzznt, deep down insyde, a anjellz!
tooshay…
w00t! I finally got one to front page!
KONGRACHEWMAKATIONS and such like!!!
Yippee!!!
Big Kitteh is watching you
an Ceiling Kat, an Sandy Claws, and my hewman slaves…..
OOOoooo Noooeess!
Nowear to hide!!!
Oliver kitteh want sum moer.
Oliver Kitn: “Plz, sir, may I (cough cough) has sum moar stale kibbuls?” (Wheeze, cough, tremble with abject waifish weakness)
Mr. Bumble Kitteh: “U want MOAR?!? Harrumph!!! Into teh lowest chamber uv teh multi-level skratchin post wid u!!!”
(Stayj-lites go dark, spotlite on Oliver Kitn so he kin sing pathetical, wynee song abowt hims sad lil orfin lyfe. Tony Awards 2 follo.)
How bowt burger awards?
Ai gibs hims elebenty six fur dis purfoarmense.
tank-you berry mush, elbis….is ’nuff fore mii an awl my odder pore liddle orfin frens!
–oliber
keepz it goen, lil kitlet! teh kyoot alwez winz!!
U winsome, and U ah, noe, yore rite…U iz alwez WINZUM!!!
Sydez dat…..da goggie did it….
i iz 100 % adorable 100 % of de tyme !!
eben whin eye poops…
But sutch dorable poops, rite?
multi-colored poops!
Full uv glitter an keyootniss!
my liddle chyld ust 2 poop tinsel at crissmastime wen he wuz a beheb. O_o!!!
uh oh…kant…hold…it…in…mush…lawnger…
*SPLORT!*
Kwik, Spykes _mom neads a glub rite nao!
uh oh…to layt…neads teh CCC fur kleenup.
I hopes they gots CHRG(wdoi)’s at the drugstoar. ‘Caus I b needin’ many.
Bebbee Kitteh shoodz
knoez dat “kewt” oanlee wurkz awn
Hewminz, nawt Mommeh
Bebbee Kitteh no
canz travill fass enuff 2
undew wut iz dun
Bebbee Kitteh clymd
teh Kurrtinz 4 teh furst tyme.
Den dey boaff camed down
Bebbee iz OK.
Oanlee himz pryde iz hurt. Will
try aginn layturr!
Jack.
Whair WAZ ebbrybuddy???? Ai kep geddin diz stoopy ting aboud collidge n no pichers n no postins!
Doan no, ais bin doin teh “W” ting. But we’s awl heer nao!
Brings me Solo and teh Wookiee!
uh, oh, eye tinks there beez a run on the CHRG (w/doi) an ai hopez dere’s enuf for when ai needz…..ah….ah…..HALP! *SPLORT* tew layt, whadda mess….,
much kwuteness equalz much splorting….note to self: buy stock in CHRG! Special holidaze wuns with teh reindeer hed insted of chikken heds! (luks aroun for CCC……sigh…. thatz gonna leave a stane….
LOLZ!
Nebber min…dat stayne wills furevver remynd yew ob teh totul kewtness ob teh bebe kitteh.
y dat big kitteh look lyke Orsen Welles, is i sittin on plate?
Orson Wells kitteh be cawlin fur Rosebud, but kewt liddle bebe kitteh hims named Olivur, so duzzent lissen.
no need to act babbeh kitteh. u awl reddy doorable.
den mabee oranj kitteh lern dourable nowt want edder.
“I will take the Ring,” kitteh said, “though I do not know the way.”
April the 4th, 1984. To the past, or to the future. To an age when thought is free. From the Age of Big Brother, from the Age of the Thought Police, from a dead man… greetings.
Oh Pittyptat – taht wuz REELEE gud!
Wach out kitteh! Jiant sandwurmcat behind u!
Ai can has dis kitteh? Plz? Ai has had bery bad dai. Ai took teh day awf werk for teh fone guy an teh guy to come fix mai oven. An teh fone guy came an sed he cud nawt fix teh fone as we had to do sumtin els dat dey did nawt tell us be4. So nao we has to book anudder appoyntmint an dat takes 8 – 12 weeks. Den teh oven guy cums an altho ai had told dem sackly wat de problm wus, an he agreed dat was de problm, he did nawt bring teh part he needed to fix it, so he has to cum bak awn Crissmass Eve. An if he cannawt fix it den, we is eetin teh raw turkey, which is nawt so gret, ackshully. Serviss cultur, you can nawt has.
An teh rest of teh day ai has been havin grate phun with teh festive vackyoumin an teh festiv kleeninoftehbaffroom an teh visit to Santa’s Merry Resyklin Deepo. Ai needs a floofy belly to snorgle, an ai needs it nao!!!
awww, SJ, kitteh emergencee suppliez comming ur way imedijiatly…well, kwick-lyke. Kitteh sez no worriez ’bout raw turkee, kitteh lyke de turkee aneewaaz. Sawry u r habbing such trubble wif servers providers! Kynd of oxy-moronish, sownds lyek to mee! Fone, obben, don’t ask wut elz, u may find owt!! NOES!!
Kitteh sez Santey bringing u sumwan who haz BRAIN to fixx ur kitchn rite up. Luks like u gots Pinky insted of Brain!!!! (oh, I think so, Brain, but culottes chafe me so….)
Got BBQ pit? BBQ turkee NOM NOM!!! Gud Luk w/awl dat stuf, SJ!!!! U can comes to my howze and eet Chrissmass fuds; Ai has JennAire (yippee!)…any cheezpeeps alwayz welcome w/mee and teh 4 bebbeh turtlols!
Ooh fank u turtlol, if ai turns up at ur hows awn Chrissmass dai ai will bring teh martinininis anna raw turkey. Unforchewnitly, ai is Inglish an we does nawt rly has teh BBQ gene ai tink – an partiklrly in December when is freezycold. If u finds anybuddy in teh meentime wif teh brane, pls to send dem rownd to fix mai obben!
SJ, if u brinks martoonees, ai PROMISSES to fix ur obben myslefs! Woo-Hoo!! Moar martoonees and ai cans do enneeting! *twirl-twirl-twirl* oops *trip* OUCH gud ting TWI cops not heer (twirling while intoxilated) or turtlol becomes jailbird.
‘Twould be a helluva commute from Inglishland to Middle Americas for Chrissmooses but youse cans coms ennee tyme and ai’d cuk for U!
Ai hopes it werks for U and u’all have wunnerful turkee-filled holidaze!
KITTY IN BCKGRND SCARY!
kitteh in da bak iz scarin me.
ohmygawd lol