« Previous Do not praytend | i ordrd teh 6 peece chikn nuggtz… Next »
» 106 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
« Previous Do not praytend | i ordrd teh 6 peece chikn nuggtz… Next »
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

I think I seed a GOSTE on teh cuver of teh buk! Pleese to holde mye paw, I am being a littel scairt.
“turns off lites”
noes! at leest leef a nite lite awn!
Doan bee readin Edgar Allan Poe, kitteh. Or u be needing moar dan sumwun tu hole yur paw cuz uff a goste on da cuver uff da buk. U be spendin de nite een Mommei’s bed cuz uff da nite marez u bee havin!
Not necessarily Poe or King. – I remember reading a collection of Uncle Abner detective stories as a teenager. The first story began: “It was a dark and stormy night…” I seriously prefer,
does dis meen u a sceardee cat ????
no worries…i hold u tite : )
Better a GOSTE than a Goatse.
kittehs shud nebber hab “goatees”—dare wiskerz an fase floof is alreddy purrfekt!
Hasture, Hasture, Hasture, Ha
Welcum to storytime, kits…better huddle together
Muwhahahaha
FTW!!!
dis maid me laff so hard.
Didn’t I see Cap’n Fluff a little while ago?
Kwote teh ravencat “nebermore”
http://www.fayette.k12.in.us/~cbeard/raven.html
ai tryd tu poast diz leenk sum daze ago, an ai fink wurdprez eated it. (but sumtiemz poastz wif leenkz taekz menny hours tu apeer, an i endz up wif teh dubbl poast, feelin berry fewlitch
Heer iz gud spot fur it! Verree funnee and ai nao has it bukmarked fur keeprz!
An no feelin fewlitch, pleez. Hardlee a wun ov us heer hoo hazn’t dun taht!
wunnerful!!!
Do we has to do teh hoemwerk?! Yu is meenie, setting hoemwerk awn a Sundai an wontin it in awn Mondai!
But is werth it for teh Kitteh’s revenje!
LOLz!! iz fer necks mondai (dissember elebenty-eleben).
nawt wurry, kitteh skool be berry eezee — teh hardest eggzamz iz snoozin
Wen Ai wuz Inglishteechar Ai yus to tees mai kiddiwinks an preten to set hoemwerk rite at teh endobterm: Ai’d tell tehm to get owt tehre hoemwerk dyarees, to beeg sys awl rown, tehn Ai’d tell tehm to rite doan EGGZAKLEE wot Ai sai: Chaynj into jammies an bunnee slippers; maek teh hawt choklit (an wun fore MumanDad); snuggul up in cumfee chayr wit teh gudbuk; has a nys lawng reed!
I wish yU were my Engrish teecher!
dis reminds me uv anodder great parody:
To His Importunate Mistress
Peter DeVries
Had we but world enough, and time,
My coyness, lady, were a crime,
But at my back I always hear
Time’s winged chariot, striking fear
The hour is nigh when creditors
Will prove to be my predators.
As wages of our picaresque,
Bag lunches bolted at my desk
Must stand as fealty to you
For each expensive rendezvous.
Obeisance at your marble feet
Deserves the best-appointed suite,
And would have, lacked I not the pelf
To pleasure also thus myself;
But amply sumptuous amorous scenes
Rule out the rake of modest means.
Since mistress presupposes wife,
It means a doubly costly life;
For fools by second passion fired
A second income is required,
The earning which consumes the hours
They’d hoped to spend in rented bowers.
To hostelries the worst of fates
That weekly raise their daily rates!
I gather, lady, from your scoffing
A bloke more solvent in the offing.
So revels thus to rivals go
For want of monetary flow.
How vexing that inconsistent cash
The constant suitor must abash,
Who with excuses vainly pled
Must rue the undishevelled bed,
And that for paltry reasons given
His conscience may remain unriven.
LOL! “To His Coy Mistress” parody ftw! Also gotta love the Raven parody.
Iz Ingleesh nerd.
chaospizie – sorrie – ai am alwaiz curious.
“Inglish nerd” meens abawt 10 diffrent thingz to mee wifout reelee traiing. Is terestting – butt hao eggszctlee do yoo meen it?
In mai case, “Inglish nerd” is purrson hoo lubs English, teh langwidge an teh litterachur, an majors in it in kollidge, and den goes on to grad skool and den spens teh rest of her life gettin paid next ot nuffin fur tryin to git yung peeple to lub it too. *sigh* It’s wurf it, tho.
chaospixie will has to speek fur herself, but I bets a lot of us Inglish nerds is fassin–facsin–reely, reely innerested in lolspeak. Cant immadgin why.
Ai iz doctorcat tu, an Inglish nerd, an luvs teh lolspeek.
yef, whut doctorcat sed iz hao ai unnerstanz “Inglish nerd” tuu. teh kind ub clebber peepz hu alwez getz teh obskyur refrenses tu chosser, sweeft, sheik speer, joiz, ebberyfing! i nawt bee inglish nerd, but i’z nerdy enuff tu fink dey’z kool
Yesh, sorry Janet! I meens it liek doctorcat and moe said. Iz Ingleesh major, ’bout to beecom Ingleesh teeshur. Ai LUBS da literachur and theeaytur.
kitteh no want to read “The Black Cat” tho, it make him more angry
Kwoth teh blakkitteh, “nebermeow”
DIS AR TEH WAI TEH WURLD ENDZ
DIS AR TEH WAI TEH WURLD ENDZ
DIS AR TEH WAI TEH WURLD ENDZ
NOT WIF BANG BUT WHIMPR.
t.s. elicat
doesn’t go gentle into that gud nite!
gentle gud nites: DO Not Want!!!
i am a dark an furree kitteh…..wif sharp an poyntee ends i hunts teh filthee pray by nite tehn kuddl in ur lap by dai wyle u snorgle mai floofee bellie as i dreem uv nom nom nom teh leetle heds uv teh mawses an eets theyr tastee eyez…..
Iz funneh cuz iz troo.
…thus quoth the cat to the core
“this black birdie is no more!”
*nom nom nom*
You my good sir/ma’am, win 2 whole internet(s). Congratz.
10q!
Quoth teh kitteh – “Nevurmoar”
awl dese creepy kitteh fotos weev ben havin lately are givvin me teh jibblies…
a-jibbly-jibbly-jibbly…
(BTW, iz not complaynt. iz HR ref)
oh noez! invizible commenter havz teh jibbleez! hao we stopz teh jibbleez?
lotsa duck tape?
kwak.
time 4 mii to re-tire now an bekome a Duck!!!
’bout time! yore story’s gettin thin, an yore outa luck.”
That are many stranje. I gets jibblies from store inside from whole chicken turkee duck other fawls. Not from kittees.
Stephen King’s cat gets into the family biz….
I Startd reeding 2night…
But Haz Book Report 2morrow
*werks well unner presshure*
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
Sorry, butt ai must ash – wai ish buzurm kirmpatul?
Wun ring to rool dem all, wun ring to find dem
Wun ring to bring dem all an in teh darkness bind dem!
(dat lass bit is burzum Krimpatul)
Tolkien ref FTW!!11
Had ai red rd’s blog befoar ai asked teh qwestchun, ai wundnt hav asked it. Oh – and thank yoo verree mutchlee, dc, fur cleering thingz up!
HEY! NUNNA DAT FILTHEE LANGWIJ HEER!
“Never before has any voice dared to utter words of that tongue in Imladris, Gandalf the Grey!” *ruff translation*
Berry impresseeve, suhr. Iz not ebry dai we seez da aktual Black Tongue inscr…inskr…riting frum da Ring.
Dis ’splain da kitteh wif the “OMG” sprexsion (Don’t Look Behing You, Sriously). He herd dis kitthe speakin da Blak Tong, an b thinkin “U DARES speks dat heres?!”
He seez u wen UR sleepingz
He knowz wen UR awake…
He noes wen u bin bad or gud
SO B GUD FUR GUDNESSEZ SAKE!
SannaCat iz cummin to town!
I fot I hadda restraynin ordur aginst dat guy….
Yur Onner, he sees me wen Ah’m seepin, he noez wen Ah’m awayk. He spyin on me, fur goodnis sayk!
Blackie only read at night in fear that someone would out him for enjoying ‘Clifford The Big Red Dog’ books.
tee, hee!
Iz dat like when Cheezpeez only reed an right at nite?
Tonight, awn “Misstry”, Vincent Price kitteh introdooses…
“Teh Terrifying Tale ov the Black Kat.”
Kitteh needz a kamp phire and a phlash lite.
doan fergit teh marshymellolz!
“Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, how do you two expect to get into the Auror training program if you don’t pass your N.E.W.T.s?”
“But, Professor McGonagall…”
“‘But’, nothing, Mr. Weasley! I expect a much better effort on this homework assignment than the last one!”
…
“Blimey, Harry, she gives twice as much Transfiguration homework when she’s in her Animagus form.”
Gud ting Her mi oh nee wuznt dere tu heer dat. She nebber let dem leev eet down.
Aftr teh storee…
dumbldoar iz ghey.
Mawrlee wuz ded, 2 begin wif…
FTW! Seosonal, Dickens, and nawt the obvy referenz!
witch ghost ob Crissmus past iz kitteh reeding about now?
(Eyes narrowed)
Whose being reading muh journal….this bookmarks been moved! Now they’ll know where all the Milk BOnes went! Drat!
musta ben teh goggie—hee duz ebberything ’round here!!!
Bibl kitteh saiz ur goin to hells!
Miskatonic kitteh is wants to read furbidden toem in teh stax. Quiet plz kthx.
Kitteh reedeeng Aych
Pee Luvvkraft 4z t3h furst tyme.
Wutz amz “Kuthooloo”?
Kitteh mayz fyndz “Ratz
In T3h Walls” interressteeng,
untilz himz reedz it!
Coodz awllso habz t3h
“Skeeree Bedytmes Stoareez” 4
himz wyde-ieed Bebbehz
Jack.
Jack, yur proze, az awlwayz, maked mi smyle. Yew adn awl de odder cheezpeeps mayk komming heer a troo joi.
“Pee” Luvvkraft — roflmao!
Iz b tinkin, Iz gotz dis book. Is da Seamus Heaney tra- trank — bersion ob da “Beowulf”. Da Kitteh b lurkin 4 da partz wif Grendl’s Mudder, an is tinkin’ “mobie no get dis parts raht”.
Kitteh is strict traditionalist bout some tings.
“it were a dark n stormie nite…on dis dark n stormie nite, it were discovrd dat Iz a kitteh n I kant reed, and…uh…teh wrld sploaded n dumbldoar iz ghey. TEH END.”
Cilli pipples, da kitteh is bean slipping on da book, nachral slipping pless fur kittehs!
da gohst of kittah pust, prosnt, ahn futah
let me shaw u dem
Garth Marenghi Cat
iz riter/dreemweever/vijnery
reeminds me of old, old, Peenuts comik strp…
Snoopy, typing atop doghouse: “It was a dark and stormy night…”
Charlie Brown, reading: “Snoopy, that is such a cliche, try to come up with something more original.”
Snoopy thinks…
Snoopy types: “He was a dark and stormy knight…”
Yah, see
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com
grayt contest!!!
I has da book “Paul Clifford”, which starts wif dat lion… Dun ask me why, I jus do!
“Suddenly, a shot rang out. Meanwhile, on a farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”
Snoopy novel, FTW!
Deerly beelov-ed, “We r gathured here to join this kitteh and this cheezburger 2gether in holy nom, nom, nom. If there be kitteh who sez burger and this kitteh cannot be joined, let him furget about it cuz I eated it already. thx. bai.”
Nuthin gayv Buttercup as much pleshur as ordring Wessley arownd.
wudn’t be ICHC wifout teh Princess Bried
AS YOU WISH!!!
I can has Necronomicon?
Necro nom-nom-nom icon?
No 1 wooda bleebed in teh lass yeerz from the nine-teeth sendury dat the whirl were been watchted keenlee adn clothesly bai intrel…inter…smart-types grater than hoomans (& kittees; don furget the kittees!) adn yet as mortal as thems own; that as hoomans (& kittees; don furget the kittees!) bizzeed themselfs wif thier various consnerms they was scruk..scoot…watcheded & studeed, praps almoss as narrow-eyed as a hooman (or a kittee; don furget the kittees!) wiff a michael-scrope might scrook…scoot…watcht the transinent creeters that swum and multiply in a drop from water.
Teh mostest mercifull fing in teh whirl, I fink, is the unableness of the hooman (& kittees; don furget the kittees!) mind to cror..colr…puts together all its contentzes.
so scary
♫
It’s astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll,
but listen closely, not for very much longer, I’ve got to keep control…
♫
100 comments and you are the only one who thought like I did.
worlok cat nouz wen u diez!
Snoopy say, “Stupid Cat…bee plajerizin mai line…”
Naw, kitteh be reedin Snoopyz book!
I dest lubs how teh liddle pink tab matches the liddle pink ear!
Hay, Snoopy ddnt sed it furst. It were sum hooman frum da Victrolian erra so Snoopy bee plajerizd sum hooman – why doggeh wan do dat??? Kitteh not bee usin ezact wurds, ennyway, so not be plajerizt.
Dat were Bulwer-Lytton in teh nobble Paul Clifford. Is all NEbuddy bemembers about dat nobble.
Snoopy not playjerizin, he alludin. Is differmints.
Stephen King cat tells you scary story!
“an da lyun was chasin da yooneecorn.”
… If anybody gets that, let me know.
A GHOST TOOK ALL THE CHEEZBURGERZ!!!!! the end