Hey hun!
Hand me that angel now!
Sry. Kitteh is too busy right nao.
picture: sugaree-gd, lol caption: Ruby Peters
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Wen xmas trees go bad . . .
Mommy! Call the fire dept, I’m stuck!
Oh wait, I only a few inches off the ground, iz ok…wait tils i reach the top
it’s the new cat paw ornament from ronco !!! I’m seeing a whole tree covered with these, animated, waving and making meweling sounds to the tune of ‘we wish you a merry christmas’ but completely out of sync
4 Easy payments of 9.99…operators are standing by!
AS SCENE ON T.V.!!!!!
Sumbuddee cud maek a lot ov munnee selling these paw ornaminz to us, ai’ll bet. Ai wud bai wun!
But can I turn it on and off with “The Clapper?”
clapp awn!
clapp awf!
clapp awn clapp awf…
whai stend ai fink it wud bee a bess-sellur! yess indeed…ai’b bin lukin fur teh neckst grate ideeah to mayke mah furst millyun n ai fink dis be it! wanna goe intoo bidness wiv mee?
I sense that any moment, the tree will fall over, and kitteh will go scurrying until he is far enough away to look innocent. But of course, kittehs usually wait until the tree is fully decorated before knocking it over (and really, isn’t that one of the reasons we love them?). This kitteh’s Hand of Christmas Tree Death reaching out to hurry the decorations (or to snag pointy ends into passing sweater) only shows kitteh’s Holiday Excitement.
mah kitteh didnaot nok ovar tree; him just liekt 2 clim it. ah wud coem home an find ormanets all ovar the floar an yel at hyoomin kittehs to stop messin wif dah tree. den wum dai ah heers *rustle, rustle, jingle, tinkle* an turns to find oar kitteh kitteh climin dah tree wif de mostest intens faec evar. Ah finks he wuz treyein to gets to dah top an ah laffed and he sayz “uh oh” an runs off and ah goes an pologizes to mah hyooman kittehs for blaymin dems for messes dat dey didnaot do
I too once had a “undecorate only” pair of black kittehs: but they would only remove the red ornaments (it was an artistic statement). Another long ago kitteh – an orange Best Cat – would climb into a flocked tree, curl up, and purr loudly – he pretended he was in a snow cave. And we had a purring tree….
Ah, memories of Christmas kittehs past….
Dikens ref- frum Kittsmas Karol?- ghost of Kittehs past
Taht’s gud, but ai wud think moar like Proust “Remembrance of Things Past.”
wade a minute—Proust???—an you sez U naught unnerstand sum ob teh references in sum odder cheezpeepz comets??
I can has Proust Lessons? (from Janet)
LOLZ!! Proust be teh eezee. It’s teh pyooter gaymes an pop sawngs ‘n stuff laik taht ai haz teh problems wif! Akshullee – ai luvs gaymes. Wuz furst wun awn mai blok (so to speek) to hav an Atari. An ai wuz litening fast! But – tehn – ai got – reel bizzy an got out ov touch.
If sumwun finallee says a nayme taht can bee googled, ai luks things up. So ai no a liddle bit abawt it – but nawt the sayme, ov corse.
Ah wuz finkin teh saym ting! Winz! An’ furst tu boot!
Ai can has nawt sekund dans? Kthxbai.
patienz, yu has it! we wuz takin kat nap an furrgot to danz fur yu-sowwy
the danze-wich wun???
tu da toon uf Rokin roun da Kttsmas tree?
ennybodee gots new werds fur dis eer wurm song appropi er, aprop, um to fit da sitwashun?
Fank u, MO’S! Rokin roun da Kitkatmas twee wud b teh fun! Ai dunt dans tu gud, butt ai noe heer wit teh cheezpeeps iz OK tu b maisef!
{wiggl wiggl twerl, fawl down. Whew}
heer, you can has kandee kane in yur howt choklit wile u can haz rest.
impresive danzing!
When trees attack
I got attacked by a tree once. It got me with its spikes. No lie.
and….????
Ai tink in Ozzy-land dere’s a tree or big bush called sumtim liek “stay awhile” becuz of deh thorns dat relly get hold of u.
Its Teh Killer Tree!! O Tanenbaum, O Tanenbaum…
SNL ref ????? den u getz to joyn teh hip ole peeplez groop ……… teh Killer Treez iz frum teh furst or secund seesun ……
Furst season. Wit Frank Zappa az moosical gest (yaaay!). An Salleh, we iz nawt ole. We jus has mor memrys tahn sum folks.
We may be ole, but we can has hip. Jus needs to be keerful not to fall an brake it!
Hehe. Our Biffer useta climb teh Chrismas tree an wish us a Meowy Biffmas. Innerestin take on teh Singin Tree.
YES !!! Zappa on SNL, wun of de best epizodes EBBER!!!
Simon sez, shake ur branches….Simon sez KILL THE PERSON NEXT TO U….
and I am the Slime from de Videeo!!!1!
Fank you turtlol. I gots teh DVD fur Xmas last yeer. It wuz liek Scotty beemin bak tu college. GOOD TIMES!
LOLz upon LOLZ – no, no, no old peepl heer. Just peepl well versed in historee. Gucd scholars awl!
oh an we iz teh bey epitome ob “hip” (corse, “hip” jest letz us noes how out ob hip we iz ….do nywun eben use taht werd animoar ?????)
wat song did he do ? “Susie Creemcheez”?????? or wun ob mi persunal faborite….”Brown Shoos Dont Make It”
He did “Peches En Regalia” and “I’m the Slime”. Good stuff!!
Not dat wun, teh wun dat dat litez up!
What iz tu dai? Kitteh partz dai? De furs picher has de deetacheded tayl. De second picher has de deetacheded paw. U tink wii can bee building de hole kitteh bye de endz uff da dai?
Are they IKEA kittehs?
Ai hopes we gots awl teh partses frum IKEA! sumtyms dey furgets teh hed!
Eye hatez wen dat happenz!
n teh strukshuns r impossy bell.
Mibbe iz saftee preecawshun?
Whole kitteh iz 2 mush kyootness fur uz?
Part atta time stopz hed sploshuns… mibbe…
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/03/22/ikea-cat-some-assembly-required/
*wunderin if u be named fur de liquor, or u be F.D. Midori woom ai no an lub*
dis fur tree has pointier end dem normal!!!
iz teh moast fienly han-krafted…er, paw-krafted krismess trii awrnamenkz, nawt abellable in enny stoar! we maekz a awfur yuu kint rezisst!! iff yuu bai teh four paw awrnamenks, we gib yu a snorglishus belly, absemalyuutlee FREE!! But wayt, der’s moar! If yu awrder nao, we awlso inkloodz a fien tayl, an liddl hed wif beeg melty-hart eyez, an kyuut liddl pointy eers!!! deez byootifil set ub ornamenks wil ad a tush ub klas tu enny hoam, an yu wil cherrysh dem fur eers!! Elebenty-eleben cheezburgerz oanly, fer a limmitid tiem. Getz yr kitteh awrnamenkz nao!!!!
One tush of klas pleez.
Obernite delibberee avaylabul?
Yesh, we awfurz garrenteed oberniet delibberee, fer smawl eckstra charj*.
*oanly elebenty cheezbergerz
Fank yoo!
Oooh mai furst purrchais on teh kitteh howm shoppen netwerk.
*wait bai teh door in happee antisipayshun*
Ai tink mai tush awlreddy classee!
Nise! Mush bedderer dan teh shawpin channul!
Howz mush fur shippin, handlin, tax, packagin…?
moe, what a great idea! (I actually want a set of these ornaments!)
It would be so fun to put them on the tree in truly impossible configurations and watch people do double takes!
teh kitteh shawpin netwurk fankz yew fer an hoapz yu enjoiz yr purr-chase az mush az wee enjoiz nomming yr cheezbergerz.
>^.^<
kitteh shawpin netwurk – ober free kustomarz served!
Ai doo too!
Heh-ulp!!!1! UR Xmash tree haz eeted me!
It ar alive and it ar not letting me go, HALP….
Hawgwertz gots teh Whomping Willow. Tihs must bee teh Pummeling Pien.
At Hogwartz, da kitteh had tu go een an push de knot. Who wii sen een when eetz da kitteh dat needz da halp?
de goggy ob koarz!
Sandy Claws, uf corse
Is teh cuzzin of Ole Man Willow frum Teh Lord of Teh Rings (buk, not moovie). Willow eets hobbits, fur tree eets kittehs. Makes sents, sorta.
But den who be teh kitteh versjun of Tom Bombardil?
Does Tom harv a cuzzin?
Tomcat Bombadill, of cawrse!
Halp! Anybuddy? ANybuddy???? Halp???
Kitteh: Halp! Call me a lumbahchack!
*Voice offside* Okay, u iz a lumbahchack!
Kitteh: Verah funnee…
U iz a lumbahchack?
*Ahem*
Is yu O.K?
Ai m a lumbahchack n ai m OK – ai sleeps awl nyte n ai naps awl day!
Drez uo in wumminz kloathin, an hang arownd in barz!
o basil. i thot u were so butch.
GMTA
Oh, Bevis! And I thought you were so RUGGED!!
Oh, Franz, ich dachte Du wärst so männlich!
kitteh lumbahchack can has chayn saw?
KITTEHZ WIF CHANESAWZ !!!!!!! newz at eleben !!!!!
repawter – Spike
der iz a stranje buz in de goggy communitee.
der hab bin repawts ob a kitteh wif a chaynsaw running amok!
dis ob koarz haint bin witnezd. butt all de saym goggies shud be alert.
i haz interbewed a lolcat.
Spike – where be de mad kitteh wif de chaynsaw?
Fluffy – dat iz a vishius lie!!! kittehs hab de utmost respex fur de goggiez. we haint gotz fumbs sewz wii kantz use de powertulz. whoebber iz telling doez liez be in big trubl.
spike – well der yu hab it. jes a rummer.
~~camera moves away~~
Fluffy on cell phone – tell Butch to cut dat owt! put onna ship soot or sumfink! de goggiez be gettin smarter. neckz tyme he mites get cawt.
KRINGUS!!!!!
(anee uv u reed da PVP comix?)
diddunt now it yet, but berrie funnee
http://www.pvponline.com/2007/12/03/kringus-risen-part-1/
oh Gober! U needz gow bak to LASS yeer to rilly getz it! Ebery tiem ai triz to put URL in here, wurdpress eets it (ai uze da html coeds an eberyting), so ai nawt trie. But go to pvponline an go backs to lass yeer.
* Puts geek hat (with propeller) on *
When you paste a link into the Comments box, delete the “h t t p : / /” from the link. Then it will post right away.
Credit goes to Teho for teaching me this, BTW. I now return you to your regularly scheduled LOLs…
Liek so:
http://www.pvponline.com/2006/12/18/dec-18-2006/
An fanks dpk, dems is hilaaarijus!
Tank oo!
Thanks, Maus. Luvs ur hat. Pleese wear it everytiem yoo ar needed.
ai r unskooled puter ;lubber, sew ai can has hat wif prope..proep…..proop….whirly fing awn it??????
Sry, Salleh. Yoo has too dun puters fer a bazillion yeers to get da hat. Or… yoo can proly but it at teh doller store. GrumbleGrumbleGrumble….
Mah cute pawzie with sharp pointie endz, let me show U it
der iz sumfin awwwwwfuulyy cyuuuute about da paw ……
o hai salleh. ai fink itz teh spred-eegul-ness ob teh toesies wiv teh widdul brown paw padz, surchin despritly fur purch…prechu…sumfin too grab on too!
It are jazz pawz
it are missle toes!!
de be nukecleear??
no want.
uh, shoor, i’ll take some new clay eers.
but wat abowt three moar paws, a tayle, some wiskers?
wat abowt a hed?! sheesh.
One paw says it all!
Wun paw to rool tehm awl.
pawse remindeds meh of kenner wampa toi pawse akshuly
Iz not ur chrissmas tree…iz mai indoor recree-ashun!
In fact, eburything that is yours is mine, in case you forgotted
Kthx bai.
Kitteh mus needs to be at TOP of twee fur angel!
Go to flowgo.com – O Kitty Tree for a musical cartoon on this topic.
Its verrry good, even though I didn’t get link to post.
Iz dis teh link JAJEH? http://www.flowgo.com/funny/1039_o-kitty-tree.html
YEZ – DAZZITT!!! Tanks, tanks , Maus Konig!
How da Nutcwacker duin?
Doin gud. We has last reher… rehar… praktises in teh studeo dis weekend, an den go to teh theatre on Wednesday. We opun next Friday.
http://www.duponttheatre.com/nutcracker.html
Maus – taht luks wunderful. Hoo are teh dancers frum teh ABT? Ai cudn’t find enething taht talked about the cast.
An ai has cleelee missed sumthing. Ar yoo danser? Waht iz it taht yoo do? Ai can’t beleve ai missed a tehatre connected purrson heer – tho probablee has missed meny.
JCH4K: I haz to do tihs in PeepulSpeak©
Janet: I am a “Systems Architect” by day, but an actor and dancer in my avocational life. As for ballet, I am a “late bloomer”. I have done regional and community theatre (as an actor/singer and “good enough” dancer) for *mumblemumble* years, but was “on-the-shelf” for a long time while I raised a family etc. I started again when cast as Dr. Silberhaus (or Stahlbaum, depending on the version of NB you know) when my youngest daughter was cast as The Drummer in 1996. The studio director “forced” me to start taking lessons (2X week), and cast me additionally as The Mouse King the next season (hence my handle). Twelve years (and 80 lbs lighter!!) later, I am still taking lessons and doing NB (and a couple of other other CT shows a year too). My daughters have gone on to other things, although my Baby (mentioned above: and yes, no one puts Baby in a corner), who is a nationally ranked Field Hockey goalkeeper (USA, NCAA D3) always says that the ballet experience makes her a better player. I must agree.
Anyway… I am not sure who the guests are this year. Our director was diagnosed with cancer this past summer (and is in remission, thank God), and I have been very busy at work, so I have not had the chance to ask (the contacts were not final as of two or three weeks ago). So I will find out on Thursday when they join the cast. The ABT does not do NB, so the best of their best are available.
Enough about me. Our director was the FIRST “Lord of the Dance”, and I am honored that he allows me to work with him. Please follow this Wikipedia stub, and the links within: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Wesley
Whoosh. Take a breath. Thanks for asking, Janet. Have a good Caturday!
Oops. Borked teh italics. Sry.
iz sew nise to hab awl dese thater folkes round heer……..mobies ar ok, bujt n uffin beetz a libe performense…….
ai nawt berabe enuff to go awn teh stage, (sept as chorus in G&S producshuns in hi skool) butt ai do klub to makez teh costumes……
Thankz, Maus. Whut a grate storee. Ai has a gazillion moar qweschuns but will pop them in in liddle bits, ai think. An getting cast again when yoo browt yur daghter – hao funnee iz that.
In mai theatre (a communitee theatre) we got a LEEST half ov our particpants frum peeple hoo bought their children to audishun! And menee stayed awn their own fur years! Just liek yoo!
no hunee. eet to soon for angel. u still haf to fix da lytes. they not ebenly spaysed. then u haf to hang da garland. then u haf to hang da oarmints. then u haf to hang da eeyscycle berry, berry carefulee – strand bai strand. and then u can poot angel on towp wen granma, n granpa, n your seester n her husband ……
Hunee? Hunee? Oh he esleep noaw. Mee too…zzzzz
Teh Tree Eated Meeee!!11!
—–
Tree sez dis kitteh has flavr… nom nom
Kitteh plais Pluto in re-enakterment teh Disnee Krismas Speshul.
Aihl gets dem raskerlee chipmonks!!!
O hai. I’z nawt pullin doun ornumuntz or rippin da paper off da presuntz, hawnust.
I’z nawt playin Ornament Hockey neether. Reely. It mus be the stoopy goggie.
Dis mai Sita’s furst reel Krismus (she wuz in sheltur las year) an her lurnz kwiklee. I hearz hur playin ornamunt hockee an when I kom into rum she sitz awn da ornamunt an luks lik “O hai…whut ornumunt?” Den when I leev rum she goez bak to attakin da tree…her 2 smrt 4 her own gud.
Assembled Kitty from the Box sez:
No…you cannot use muh paw for ornaments…gives it back NOW…it took 6 – 8 weeks to get here as it is!
Parunts has installed the “5 Clawed Anti-Snooping Gift Protection System” to keep kids from snoopin under teh tree. It’s like teh Club, but better.
wuddntave stoppded mai! protection systems wif teh furrparts can be bribed wif treets n snorgles n gushiefuds.
Also handy to keep Grinch from stealin mai tree!
kitteh prezzent slips owt ob hiding 18dais erly.
THIS PICTURE PLEASES CHRIS LONG
Well, why don’t you shout it? :-/
s/he did!
Makes it easier for mii too hear. Umm, I meanz to read. I iz hard of seeing.
Maybee he is just reelee, REELEE pleezed!
Janet, u has to be teh kindest purrson on teh planet. I is ashamed of mah sarcastic self. *hangs hed and blushes*
Joo got dat rite; Janet is teh HEART of ICHC!!!
Ai tink maybe ai is teh kidnees
Ai tink yoo iz too!
thank yoo – yoo ar way too kind! tho it is troo, ai cannawt bare to see enewun – ene creechur hurt. Ai carree bugs and thingz outside. Ai do squish mosquitos, tho, wehn they are biting mee!
Iz eezee fur mee, tho, becuz ai has had a thoroulee wunderful lief, an a hewj supportive luving famblee. Troo, ai has never married nor had children – sumthing missed fur shur. But ai has had 12 purrposalz (ai wuz so happee at the furst wun, bucuz ai thot if ai never got married it wud be bai choyce!) and 2 frum peeple hoo latur sayed they WANTED to ask but knew ai wud ay no, so they dint. Ai even went so far as to get engajed, wunz. . .but deep dawn, ai knew ai probablee wudn’t do it. Just never wanted to bee tied down, or hav to anser to sumwun.
Oh mai – troo confeshuns. Ai has them!
tyme 2 go 2 wallmert 4 our crimmus shawppeeng!!
i went 2 wallmert & bawt a anjil 4 teh top uv teh tree, sum bellz 4 teh tree, a chaynesaw…….
…a doe nut brekfest, wif ex (skrambuled), an fresh fishus…
a gag giftee, a hat wif rain deer horns, a ise syckl
a journal to write in, a kangaroo, and a llama
a macka ronee, nesting tablez, Ocean Noz Drops
a popsicle, quart of ice cream, a ring (diamonds, of course)
sickbags, tikkilme-elmo, undiepantz
sum Vicks VapoRub (for teh winter snuffles), sum watercollers, a xylofone, a Yankee candel, an a zebra-print blankee for teh sofa.
Meowy Kitmas, evvy buddy!
Christmas shopping at Walmart will make you want to drink…heavily.
Treez up!!!!!1!! Hi five!!!!
umm… rather….
Treez up!!! Low five!!!1
ooo noess—
treez down!
(stoopy goggie!)
some dingleberries, an ellyfunk n a gigabyte…
fank you notes, a hemacult, a inguinal supporter
sum jello, sum kandee kanez, sum lint…
we’ll just keep two lists going (holiday season, need more supplies)
mayonaise, newsweek magazine, opera glasses
a porkroas, sum quakkrs, rayzinz
popsikle stiks, quailes, raisuns
staypels, tires, uvulas
vienerschnitzel, wiggleeworms, xtreem makeover
Dis wut happin wen u tryes ta hang tinsull or lites by urselfs
butbutbutbutbut WE HAS STAR!!!111
My unca’s kitteh would eated candy canes on teh tree, not play wif dem. All mah mudder and fadder’s kitteh does is go *glare* at teh tree or try to unwrap presentz urly.
Wen hubz an I was furst merryed, all mah ormanents was still at momma & poppa’s howse, an we was stuk down here, so I maded cookies an hunged dem on teh tree wif candy canes an popcorm strings. It lukked so purrty, but after a few daze not so much. I wunndered why r tree wasn’t so purrty; fot mebbe hubby was snitchin teh cookies, but dint wanna say nuffin. Den wun day I waz sittin in teh libbin room, an here comz r goggie Sam. She gits a runnin start, zooms past teh Kitmas tree an CHOMP down on a cookie ormanent and dunt stop runnin till she get to teh end of teh hallway. I was laffin so hard, by teh time I ketched her teh cookie was all eeted up.
Couple yeers later, Sam pulled teh tree down at 4 in teh mornin, tryin to scarf a candy cane. Dat was not so funnee, ackshully.
She at teh Ranebow Bridge now, playin Ankle-bite wif teh Biffer and chompin all teh cookies she can eet.
Yer goggie invented a wunnerful gaem!
dat stah iz krookid! (lunge) (bzzt) DOAN NEBUDY MOAV! A FOOS HAS GOAN OWT!!
Ooh…didyer tree grow anudder fut?
Na JAJEH: Is (sumwhut obskure) Christmas Story ref. Welcum to ICHCB Rev!
Tree in picher definitelee groo anudder fut.
Luks grayt!
liddle ful.
lodda sap.
cheep azz tinsel, DO NOT WANT
I can has Xmas speeret? Kthxbai!!
Dis is mai chree! No tuch. Dis is mai teensul, mai anjul, mai ormanunts, an mai bwinky lites. Yoo gechur oan. O, an dose iz mai prezunts. An ausso, yur gunna need to kleen mai fur wehn ai git owt uv heer. Ai iz cuverd in sap. An breeng me sum mylk pleez, protektin mai chree iz tuff wurk. Kthxbai.
it iznt Krissmus unless a kitteh gitz stuk in da tree.
bestest presint ever tho- oh looky mommy! *sploosh of white fur ober teh pyle o’presents*
u had an angel
but i eated it
Oh, and an elf came bai.. He wuz teh apputizer.
my cats kncock my tree over every year. i come home and find the tree on the floor and my cats happily knocking my beauitful ornaements around the house.
i give up.
Wise, you are, to have reached dis decision!
Moast never reech dis level of enlightenment!
I commend thee!
Ok Christmas tree…u win! UNCLE!
Bawlmer cat says hows ya doin hunz?
Aah! Demon tree!! D:
squirrellllllll