nawt long Peeg, I hopez….
O_o!

Dats donkee eers

I can haz skwerrel?

Somefing Ive allways wanted to ask a Merrican…..if yor muthas sisda is an “ant”, then wot is a leetle blak insekt called?

is a emmet!

Iz nebber calz dem. Dey mite ansur.

Teh Wief is SLP. I tink I lerns dis stuff bai osmos… ozmuz… axident. Akshooly, I furst herded dat wurd from George Carlin long long tyme ago.

yep, along wiff teh Hippee Dippee weaffermanz…..”tonite forecast….” “Dark !”

taht stil crakz me up for sum reesun…..

Yu is verree welcom but plees donut send tehm bak to us; is nawt nys!

Ambahkitteh - izokay, eye kan bee repurrzentatif tohkin englispeep in merkin merka, so ifndey makin teh rood noyzis eye kan bowns dem bak at tehm. Dat y eye livez on teh eeskohse, so teh rood noyziz has too kum bye mee furrst.

And, pray tell, wherat upon the eastern coastline dost thou liveth?

forsooth and verily, Ai is awlso innerested in yur reponsivitinesesses

*sings* Getting to knooow yoooooo, getting to know aaawwl abaawwt yooooooo. . . .

but wate !!!! woodn’t teh noysez hit teh WEST cost furst ???? lik Cormwaaalllll, Summertehsetz, an debon ?????

Eye libz in nooyawksittee, soesmaijob two mayk shoor dat teh roodnoyziz done be leebin merkin merka wehre tehy blong an nebber ebber get too teh weskohs uv teentinyingerlan weher teh Ambahkittin libs. Sjhe mus be tektid frum teh roodnoyziz uv teh merkins - eye haz moonitee - gots teh vaksin… vacz… teh jekshuns so teh merkinroodnoyziz no fekt mee somush.

Hmmmmmmm. . .hao yoo doo taht? Duz yoo fite tehm off wif a lite sabre? liek, iffn awl us Merikan peeps heer wud turn arselves in a northeasterlee direkshun an maek rude noyzes in ur general direkshun, cud yoo reelee deflect them awl? Oar wud sum slip thoo?

Nawt taht wee wud ever, ever doo such a thing, ov corse. We deerlee luvs ar peeps over thar awn them liddle islandz. Just wundering abawt teh secuitee system.

nonono, eye doezunt gots lytsayburs - teh deepahtmintuvhoamlansekyooritee haz halped bild sumfink lyk teh missulsheeld dat tehy keeps tawkin bout. Iz lyk gratebigwawl uv happytawts dat stends long teh eestun seebord, an z knotrolled frum mai offis. Wenebbur we heerz bout merkinroodnoyziz we yoozes a netwerk uv teeneetyneetabbehs ™ two denteefy wehre teh noyzis iz kummin frum an den wee awl tink hoppytawts so dat teh noyzis iz bownsed bak too wehre tehy kum frum.

Werkz not so gud, akshullee - we karnt stop teh roodnoyzis dat kum from tehwitehoawse, but teh uvvers we manidge to flect bak, so Ambahkittee iz sayfe frum moast uvdem.

Butt dis awl soopertopseekret, so doan be tellin ebbereewun, kthxbai?

Thank yoo, TJ, fur taeking teh time to address mai concerns. Sounds to mee (and ai won’t be telling enewun) liek it iz a well thot awt plan. Gud to know taht ar deer frenz ar sayfe frum nefarious pre-emptive roodnoyses attaks.

Let us just hoep wee kin awl live throo the roodnoyzis kummen frum thewitehoawse, Ai find these roodnoyzis absolewtlee terrifying an wee duzn’t has enewhar to hyde. Mai sister thinks maybee we shud awl trai mooving to Kanada.

Butt - if awl teh merkins moves to Kanada, den awl teh wate will be in teh norf an teh hole Yew Ess Ob Ay will tip up an Florida will be wayvin about in teh ayr! An Jorg Bush wud be flipped into space…. ackshully, carry awn.