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WE’VE REPLACED JOHN’S PHONE BILL


funny pictures

WITH A PORTION OF “BEOWULF” IN ANGLO-SAXON

LET’S SEE WHAT HAPPENS …

what happened?!?!?! gives us teh newz!

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder, lol caption: molly

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» 141 comments

  1. Anukki says:

    Duz he have a hedaike yet?

  2. Tribble says:

    Eye can change fhone carrierz?

  3. zippycat says:

    John jumps up an startz weeding teh poyem in deh akchooal anglo-saxon! Wee r ammazeded!

    • zippycat says:

      I lub dis pixtoor, by da wai .. it is teh FUNNEH!! An happee nawt-sekkond danse for anukki!!!

      *shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*

      Sowwy if Ai steptded on ur tows!

      • Anukki says:

        Fanks! I shufflez along wit yu!

        Howe du yu sai ?Owie” in anglo saxon?

      • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

        Ai must dans fur Anukki too. This is a pikshur full ov the winsome.

        Seems we r doin the soft shoe again?

        *shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*
        *shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*

        *twerls kane and poses*

        • zippycat says:

          Ai fink teh onllee dans Ai noe is teh soff shoo. Ai am bery bad dansr. Ai jus kinna moove allong wiff teh moosick. Dis rusults in *shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*

          Ai iz sorree dat Ai dun noe anudder dans! But Ai wuz at the partee in the “peecefull neggoshiashuns” commintz and lernd a liddle ov teh skottissh dans “splitting the willow” or summfin. :)

          *skipp foarwrd an bak*
          *skipp foarwrd an bak*
          an summfin eles dat Ai forrgotted!

    • trtskh says:

      iz bc john wuz old langajez mayjur in kollij. john sez 2 hiz meaw & paw, “u seez? old langajez no such yoozliss aftur awl.”

  4. Elvis says:

    Jon remembars he nevver did taek dat final examm in Ingerlish litt.

  5. Nebber mynde teh fone bill. Mye flee kollar, it is being way too long. Do not want.

  6. Tribble says:

    Achuallee, eet won’t bee dat mush harderz tu unnerstand dan regalar fone bill iz. Jus pai de munniez due at de bottom uff de pagez.

  7. tmgray says:

    Beowulf…
    DO NOT WANT!!
    Kitteh spaek is ezier tu raed then Beowulf….noe kittehs in dat stury

    • karen says:

      purrhaps a re-rite, wif grendl as a kitteh? ennywun?

      • Hyla's Brook says:

        No, nawt kitteh as Grendel! Grendel getz killled.. Iz bet der was a kitteh curled up in deh Mead hall when Beowulf & deh otherz were reciting der sagas, waitinz fur someone to drop some of der meat on der floor so kitteh could grab it befor de dogz could!

      • Pittypat says:

        fulfilling his oath, to aid the Grate Danes,
        eazing their angwiish, heeling teh horror
        they suffert so long, no small distress.
        As token of triumf, presented a cheezburger.

  8. Ambercat says:

    Jon rerites as fillum script wit teh CGI, releeses fore teh Kristmas market, maeks a fortoon and retyrs to barbarbarbados

  9. karen says:

    aldres orwena, yrringa sloh

    i can has lortab?

  10. Tribble says:

    Sum wun want tu tell de commentz witer dat datz not John!

  11. DriverB says:

    luf dis one.

  12. falco says:

    Dat kitteh tinks he be David Attenborogh or dat Crikey guy
    metinks. Iz waytin fer deh maiting danz nao.
    i wundrs hoo wryts deh fone bils….

    • catalogical humor says:

      ackshuly i don’ts think uv Attenborough or IRwin…
      …too me iz like a Folger’s Crystals kumershul!

      “…but John never reads Old English at home!…”

      • falco says:

        o ai getz it nao tanks… ai’m tyred so ai’m liddl stoopid.
        Mah brayn iz “soking in it”!

        pittypat tank u fer deh wunnerful pohem..dat waz beyootiful

  13. Pittypat says:

    We Gardena in geardagum, þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon, hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.

  14. beccamutt says:

    BWA HA HA HA HA!!!! This is the first one in a while dat’s made me LOL for real!! Don’t know why… just struck my fancy!! It’s just so silly!! FTW!!

    • Ambercat says:

      Yu meen tihs donut happen to yu?!

    • zippycat says:

      Ai summtiems dun laff a lawt at sum pixtoors. Ai dun like teh wuns ware sumwun dresses up a kitteh or dus fings to the kitteh dat ar kinna meen. Summtimes ai onlee voat 1 cheezburgr fur dem. An sum of teh cappshuns ar jus not varee funnee, even if teh kitteh in the pixtoor is bery cute. But moast ov the tiem, Ai am laffing mai bottomus owff!!

    • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

      Mai last fone bill had a portion of satyāgraha ( सत्याग्रह ) in Sanskrit.

    • Osteogal says:

      I agree. One of the best lolcatz I’ve seen. Saw this on voting page and saved it immediately. I laffed for days. I hear this Richard Attenborough voice every time I see it. Brilliant!

      • salleh says:

        ai lovz Richard aAttenboroughz voise…….butt ai allus finkz ob him as he waz in “Teh Grate Escape” an he plaied “Big X” teh mane co-ordiature of teh hole (a iddle plai on werds heer)escape.

  15. LBeeeze says:

    PBS kitteh hosts noo reealitee show

  16. Ben Dover says:

    What on Earth is wrong with you people? You all need to get out more.

  17. salleh says:

    ai dont noes, it luukz lik teh guy iz reddy fur it…..himz gotz teh rite harecut an teh rite beerd…….

  18. thornius says:

    Dey charj meh HAO MUSH 4 a fone kawl 2 Grendel???

  19. thornius says:

    Dis ledder heer, “þ”, be teh ankle-low sex-on letter, “Thorn”. Meh sumteims yooz it az way ob riting mai name.

  20. cheshirepat says:

    FULLZ of win dis won…! ai *did* lol…
    /tu mush meedee-evlol lit in cowlidge

  21. queeniefox says:

    Hwaetez!

  22. Seward says:

    Hwaet þe…?

    (Three people will get this, and they’ll laugh their asses off.)

    • Elvis says:

      leddus in on teh joak, Seward

      • Seward says:

        “Hwaet” is the first line of Beowulf. Depending on context, it can either mean “what,” or it can be used to get attention, like “oi” or “hey.” Þe is “the,” though the actual word varied by gender. I don’t remember the full conjugation, alas, but Old English, like Modern English, had feminine, masculine, and neuter tenses, though they had a lot more of them. The language was closer to Modern German in that you literally used a different form of “the” depending on the gender of the thing being described.

        I r big lanwqij dork. :) I wood bee philologist if I wurnt a riter.

        • Elvis says:

          Tanks, fur teh info, Seward. Langwidge dorks r OK wif mee!

          Ai hopes ewe are not wun ob teh owt-on-stryke riters!

        • Hyla's Brook says:

          Izn’t it interrestin how de oldest languagez R de most complex? All deh cases & genderz… But some modern languagez no gender, no cases…

          Naow iz Kitteh speek more modern den de Englizh?

          • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

            But it is troo, HB. It duz seem bakwerds, duznt it? Wai shud a langwij BEGIN wif elaborate complexitees of genders and cases and stuff? Seems liek it reelee ought to bee teh otter way around.

            • doctorcat says:

              Nawt reely, if u fink about it. Bilological eevilushun is toward teh more complecks organdism, but simple langwidge wud be more eefishunt in sum ways, so it makes sense dat langwidge wud eevolv toward teh simple.

              Kitteh pidgin seems more random dan odder langwidges, but is varry noo. Mebbe we see sum convenshuns eevolving sum day.

              But I iz litterary geek, nawt langwidge dork. NE lingwists out dere hoo noes why langwidges get simpler?

            • Pittypat says:

              if teh Tower of Babelcat (Hebrew: מגדל בבל‎ Migdal BavelArabic: برج بابل Burg Kitteh)
              united felinity, so dat everywun lolspoke wun langwich,

              and ceiling cat jumbulled up teh langwiches til we kood use langwich without violins an otter badstuff,

              Then lolspeak be teh new order!

              kyoo eee dee.

              ). In G

            • BebopBurger says:

              I is lingwist. An langwuidges don always get simpler, but is common. (sumtimes more complex! lyk wif pidgin or lingua francas turning to nachurally spoken langwidges!) But is moastly cuz of pronunciashun issues. Lyk when words come togevvur cuz is easier to say dat way. Or cuz we has no uses for owld wurds nemore. Anuvver facktor iz hoo has presteege, cuz peeps imitate prestige dialeckts, an so on.

              I mayke sense? I hopes so.

    • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

      Silleh Seward! LOTS ov peepl will get this an – laff a lot.

    • doctorcat says:

      I gots is. I bets more dan 3 peepls gets it. Us has sum varry smart peepls here. Also, lotsa litterary geeks and mid-evil fantasy types, I betcha. NEwun fur teh Society fur Creative Anakronism?

      • ittehbittehkitteh says:

        i gotted it. corse i reeded beowulf in orijnawl. wen i gotted 2 part wher grendel comed to heorot hawll an bust da dore down – an a lite standed owt hims eyses… yikes. mah teecher hadded lite blu eyses. rite at DAT instint a gleem frum da winder hitted hims lite blu eyeses. an a “licht stod” owt hims eyes fur reel. (prolly misspellt dat. duznt know how 2 spelz in lololengerlisch…)

        i almost peed. dat were so-o-o-o scareh. bout 10 yeers later, i telled teecher how bad he scairt meh. seemz he scairt a few ovvers 2! i still get scairt wen i finks bout dose eyses an da lite.

        (chexks.) o, fanks gourd. dint pee dis time…

      • sorche says:

        I r not in SCA, but groop leik it called teh Adrian Empire. 12th centoory represent!

    • sorche says:

      i lol’d. Joo verry funnee in ejoocated waiz. whan my huzban and i went to see Beowulf, i waz providin runnin tranzlation ov Grendel to mah huzban. it waz awesum.

  23. Theresa says:

    HWAET! He haz it. ;)

  24. D.R. says:

    “Whan that Aprille with its shoures sweete…”

    –Sorry, rong pome.

    • Dustbunny says:

      Gaaah! We hads to memurize de prologue to Canterbury Tales, in Middle English, in my senior year in high school. Cudn’t pass English wifout reciting it to de teacher. And I still remembers it, many many many years later. I somtimes furgets my own phone number, so why I remembers dis useless pome??!?

      • Ambercat says:

        Iz grate pome, an full ob teh derty joeks!

      • trin says:

        You remember it so well BECAUSE it’s “useless”. (and we were all so much younger when we were forced to memorize this stuff…)

        I wonder if I can still do the preamble to the Constitution. (It helped to have a very large teacher, I kept getting stuck on the word “posterity” would think of his wide-load and then be able to continue…. I must be going to hell for that.)

        • catalogical humor says:

          I can remember the preamble to the Constitution, and we didn’t spend that much time on it at school.

          Because if Schoolhouse Rock did it…I remember it.

  25. catalogical humor says:

    fer once, John’z Engrish deegrey is
    Useful.

    fr teh rest of hiz dayz…
    Nawt so much.

  26. Qatnip says:

    Yoo guyz…Brainiakz! Took me a minnit, but Seward sez (I tink) “What the…?” in da Beowulfian langwidge.

  27. Wilf_Brim says:

    tuxie kitteh nawt no dat angleia jolie nawt in teh originul vershun of beowulf. tuxie thot dat he wuz helpin out hooman cause he lik pikshures of angelina.

  28. valeria says:

    John bees hapee acahs bill colektur fur fones companee bees Angelina Jolie. Shee whipz deelinkkwent cusstomurs inna shapes.

  29. Madame RiverOtter says:

    I cans read in Anglo Saxons. (evil evil laugh) Now I take over the World!!!!!

  30. Paul says:

    Depends on how much anglo-saxon he’s used

  31. doctorcat says:

    Speeking of teh anshent langwidges, duz NEwun bemember Candid Camera? I hears teh voys of Art Linkletter comin frum dis kitteh.

  32. Teho says:

    so dis powst gitz onlys 4 owta 5 burgs? pffft… dis whai i r cinnikul dood.

    DIS PIC AN CAPSHUN IS CAN BE ABSOWLOOTLEE CLASIK.
    in ebry sens of teh wurd.

  33. jim a says:

    Burnt the meadhall, killed off cattle,
    Took he everything of value;
    Smashed he what he could not steal.
    He was good king, best of men.

    • Pittypat says:

      an ran up teh fone billz,
      frum fone saxon addikshun

    • jim a says:

      or, as near as I can make out..

      he polde uprmcan fopmman folcrtop
      þahpileþe þarigendar unandpeard paepen
      pifa and cildpu pæg aplice
      bæpnde meduleal beheop neatar
      æll tac he of peoopþ
      rtempde hpaet rtellan ne cuþe
      þæt paer god cyning gumena betst

      –In memory of Aethestan.

      • jim a says:

        oops, the W’s look like P’s
        should be more like:

        he wolde upsnican formman folcstow
        þahwileþe þawigendar unandweapd waepen
        wifa and cildru wæg arlice
        bærnde meduleal beheow neatas
        æll tac he of weorþ
        stempde hwaet stellan ne cuþe
        þæt waes god cyning gumena betst

  34. Hotspur says:

    Þæt wæs gōd LOLcat

  35. mswhatsit says:

    ……And it was easier to comprehend

  36. Tara says:

    Is that Joe Marrie?

  37. Cat Feral says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

  38. sileighty says:

    This one is brilliant. I bemoan the loss of this, and other classics of 1970s humor, including, but not limited to, souffle and closet jokes.

  39. Mary says:

    SHOULD BE OLD ENGLISH NOT ANGLO-SAXON!

  40. Joe Marrie says:

    Is that me?!?!?!?

  41. snimpy says:

    One of my fave lolz. evar. shud be in hall uf fejm!


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