WITH A PORTION OF “BEOWULF” IN ANGLO-SAXON
LET’S SEE WHAT HAPPENS …
what happened?!?!?! gives us teh newz!
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder, lol caption: molly
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Duz he have a hedaike yet?
Anukki is nawt sekkond!
congrats!
Tank yu, Elvis! Mai I hav dis dantz?
Itz mai pleshure! Mebbe ewe cans leed…I’s nawt so gud akshuly at dis dantsin
(wotch owt fur mai feats)
Noez wurries, I is teh beeg and strongliek. I can leed.
*pushez.. er… LEEDZ Elvis all ‘rownd teh flore*
( wife, out of frame, thinks: )
“but, john never reads a second phone bill at home …”
“but John never vomits at home…”
“but John’s teeth never fall out after coffee at home…”
oh and by the way molly gets a big +10 style points for first use of this iconic and highly annoying 80′s catchphrase in a way which makes it even more obscure in a caption on ICHC !!! (gasp) way to go MOLLY !!!
fully – mutch win foar awsumlee awsum abstrakshun too.
um.
“but john’s testikulz nevr sprowt teeth an byte my fayss at hoem…”
uhm…… eeewwwww
“i like my coffee like my men — black”
“Bobby, do you like gladiator movies?”
“I guess I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.”
Eye can change fhone carrierz?
John jumps up an startz weeding teh poyem in deh akchooal anglo-saxon! Wee r ammazeded!
I lub dis pixtoor, by da wai .. it is teh FUNNEH!! An happee nawt-sekkond danse for anukki!!!
*shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*
Sowwy if Ai steptded on ur tows!
Fanks! I shufflez along wit yu!
Howe du yu sai ?Owie” in anglo saxon?
“Eoighweyyygh”
oh bonzogal hehehehe!!!
Ai must dans fur Anukki too. This is a pikshur full ov the winsome.
Seems we r doin the soft shoe again?
*shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*
*shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*
*twerls kane and poses*
Ai fink teh onllee dans Ai noe is teh soff shoo. Ai am bery bad dansr. Ai jus kinna moove allong wiff teh moosick. Dis rusults in *shuffl stepp shuffl stepp*
Ai iz sorree dat Ai dun noe anudder dans! But Ai wuz at the partee in the “peecefull neggoshiashuns” commintz and lernd a liddle ov teh skottissh dans “splitting the willow” or summfin.
*skipp foarwrd an bak*
*skipp foarwrd an bak*
an summfin eles dat Ai forrgotted!
So wee gots a split-sof-shu fur Annuki’s danse.
Ai lykes taht kine.
Eezy fur a non-dantsin hoomin ta doo!
iz bc john wuz old langajez mayjur in kollij. john sez 2 hiz meaw & paw, “u seez? old langajez no such yoozliss aftur awl.”
Jon remembars he nevver did taek dat final examm in Ingerlish litt.
Nebber mynde teh fone bill. Mye flee kollar, it is being way too long. Do not want.
LOL
how due yU spell LOL in Angelo Saxsen?
loarawul
Achuallee, eet won’t bee dat mush harderz tu unnerstand dan regalar fone bill iz. Jus pai de munniez due at de bottom uff de pagez.
Beowulf…
DO NOT WANT!!
Kitteh spaek is ezier tu raed then Beowulf….noe kittehs in dat stury
purrhaps a re-rite, wif grendl as a kitteh? ennywun?
No, nawt kitteh as Grendel! Grendel getz killled.. Iz bet der was a kitteh curled up in deh Mead hall when Beowulf & deh otherz were reciting der sagas, waitinz fur someone to drop some of der meat on der floor so kitteh could grab it befor de dogz could!
fulfilling his oath, to aid the Grate Danes,
eazing their angwiish, heeling teh horror
they suffert so long, no small distress.
As token of triumf, presented a cheezburger.
line strukcture and allit … alitr … wurds begin wif saym letter, FTW!
I loff ewe. Proper meeter an rhymink struktoor makes me want to haff ur e-babiez.
Jon rerites as fillum script wit teh CGI, releeses fore teh Kristmas market, maeks a fortoon and retyrs to barbarbarbados
Butz dere beez a riterz stryke now. He lowed tu du dat?
Noe riters stryk in teenytiny Ingerlan
aldres orwena, yrringa sloh
i can has lortab?
Meh lubs teh Lortab an’ Percocet. Hab seberal helt problems. Dawkters gibz meh mush persciption to bof durgs.
I has a Lortab.
Akshully, is nawt so grayt.
(Well, teh Lortab is. Teh reezun for teh Lortab iz wurs dan loozin ur harblz.)
wut is wurs dan loozin ur harblz????
Sum wun want tu tell de commentz witer dat datz not John!
luf dis one.
Dat kitteh tinks he be David Attenborogh or dat Crikey guy
metinks. Iz waytin fer deh maiting danz nao.
i wundrs hoo wryts deh fone bils….
ackshuly i don’ts think uv Attenborough or IRwin…
…too me iz like a Folger’s Crystals kumershul!
“…but John never reads Old English at home!…”
o ai getz it nao tanks… ai’m tyred so ai’m liddl stoopid.
Mah brayn iz “soking in it”!
pittypat tank u fer deh wunnerful pohem..dat waz beyootiful
Thx –
i kant be taking kredit – dat wuz awl beowulf
(well essept teh cheezbrger part) (an lolspeek)
We Gardena in geardagum, þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon, hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Ai wuz jus tinkin teh saym ting!
man, i haet wen taht happns.
dis post made me splort red wine on my skreen … tanks!!
Whut??
yoo tuk teh werds rite outta mai mouf!
*terns hed sidwaeys an luks*
R U puttin uss onn or is taht rly erlee Ingerlish?
(Ai sertinly wudden no!)
Dat r frum Beowulf.
English r verree diffrunt frum wen it wur Englisc.
Ai reememburrs wen teh coolige teechur red teh Caturbury Tails in Middul Ingerlish. Evun dat wuz vairy hard to unnerstand.
(Seams lyke owr seel fone spokescat wud lyke teh Caterbury Tails bedder)
One of mai favoritist times in collige was when teh English Lit TA read Beowulf to us in teh original form. He was gud. He wuz edumacated at Oxford an had teh coolest accent to begin wif, but his Beowulf had us mesmerized.
Whole lecture hall of more dan 100 stoodints. Total silence, except fur the TA.
D Marie – yoo r so luckee. ai wud hav luved heering taht.
he wuz ky00t n teh charmz 2, Mar?
mai fadder-in-lahw he recyts dat Beowuf in Olde Ingrish
owl deh tyme. furst vurse ober n ober n ober
what wai gardena in ger dargum…..
is liek lolcat, onlee owldur!
Dat r reely old Ingerlish. How duz u git wordpress to make teh thorn thingy an teh eth thingy?
I wuz wunnering wen oour deer doctorcat wud shoe up. I noe taht she’s verrah verrh smart wit tings liek Anglo-Saxon. I feeel bettah now.
Windows Alt Keycodes Pick symbul U want, hold down ALT key and type in code BEAN GEAUX! Der UR new Symbol.
!
Gosh u lern sumpin ebery day, if u not keerful.
How u finds teh symbols to pick?
LOL, i juss C & P’d teh passage.
BWA HA HA HA HA!!!! This is the first one in a while dat’s made me LOL for real!! Don’t know why… just struck my fancy!! It’s just so silly!! FTW!!
Yu meen tihs donut happen to yu?!
Ai summtiems dun laff a lawt at sum pixtoors. Ai dun like teh wuns ware sumwun dresses up a kitteh or dus fings to the kitteh dat ar kinna meen. Summtimes ai onlee voat 1 cheezburgr fur dem. An sum of teh cappshuns ar jus not varee funnee, even if teh kitteh in the pixtoor is bery cute. But moast ov the tiem, Ai am laffing mai bottomus owff!!
Mai last fone bill had a portion of satyāgraha ( सत्याग्रह ) in Sanskrit.
Ooo…Sansksrit. Do want!
I agree. One of the best lolcatz I’ve seen. Saw this on voting page and saved it immediately. I laffed for days. I hear this Richard Attenborough voice every time I see it. Brilliant!
ai lovz Richard aAttenboroughz voise…….butt ai allus finkz ob him as he waz in “Teh Grate Escape” an he plaied “Big X” teh mane co-ordiature of teh hole (a iddle plai on werds heer)escape.
Ai can see, Ai can see perfickly *bumps into warl*
noe taht waz Donald Pleasance, an James Gardner sed “He can com wiff me” cause ole Donny waz blind as bat naow frum awl teh close-up werk he did awn teh fake docuintz…..
oops, Ai stand korrekted.
The Grape Eskape Triviah: hoo was teh actor riding teh motorbyk taht wus chaysin Steve McQueen (awlso awn a motorbyk)?
But waznt “das heer” who keep dem IN prizon?
PBS kitteh hosts noo reealitee show
What on Earth is wrong with you people? You all need to get out more.
Iz yoo tawkin to us?
nawz, him r twakin @ teh man in teh mirrawr.
I suggest this Ben Dover guy needs to take his own name to heart, after which he can promptly FOAD
LOL. Dude, u needs to relax.
ai dont noes, it luukz lik teh guy iz reddy fur it…..himz gotz teh rite harecut an teh rite beerd…….
Dey charj meh HAO MUSH 4 a fone kawl 2 Grendel???
gud fing grendels mommeh is in ur sirkel. unlimitd cawllz 2 her.
u can brings her up 2 date on ever fing grendel doing…
den she take it ups wif him.
heroism – u has it.
Or Ells she tails her hubbee Brad Pitt and him tell Grendel.
Ai doan fink Grendel wud liek teh sownd ov teh fone ringninging. He seemded to hayte noyzes.
Dis ledder heer, “þ”, be teh ankle-low sex-on letter, “Thorn”. Meh sumteims yooz it az way ob riting mai name.
It luks liek a tung stikking owt!! Fur a eemotikkon! Liek dis :Þ
dat b purrfeck for deh kittehs, no?
FULLZ of win dis won…! ai *did* lol…
/tu mush meedee-evlol lit in cowlidge
Hwaetez!
Hwaet þe…?
(Three people will get this, and they’ll laugh their asses off.)
leddus in on teh joak, Seward
“Hwaet” is the first line of Beowulf. Depending on context, it can either mean “what,” or it can be used to get attention, like “oi” or “hey.” Þe is “the,” though the actual word varied by gender. I don’t remember the full conjugation, alas, but Old English, like Modern English, had feminine, masculine, and neuter tenses, though they had a lot more of them. The language was closer to Modern German in that you literally used a different form of “the” depending on the gender of the thing being described.
I r big lanwqij dork.
I wood bee philologist if I wurnt a riter.
Tanks, fur teh info, Seward. Langwidge dorks r OK wif mee!
Ai hopes ewe are not wun ob teh owt-on-stryke riters!
yeeesssss….wee r bery edumacateded round heer….
(ok ai dint getz it, butt loawts ob odders did ai betz)
I wish I wuz out on stryk. Wud meen I been maykin sum munny frum it.
Izn’t it interrestin how de oldest languagez R de most complex? All deh cases & genderz… But some modern languagez no gender, no cases…
Naow iz Kitteh speek more modern den de Englizh?
But it is troo, HB. It duz seem bakwerds, duznt it? Wai shud a langwij BEGIN wif elaborate complexitees of genders and cases and stuff? Seems liek it reelee ought to bee teh otter way around.
Nawt reely, if u fink about it. Bilological eevilushun is toward teh more complecks organdism, but simple langwidge wud be more eefishunt in sum ways, so it makes sense dat langwidge wud eevolv toward teh simple.
Kitteh pidgin seems more random dan odder langwidges, but is varry noo. Mebbe we see sum convenshuns eevolving sum day.
But I iz litterary geek, nawt langwidge dork. NE lingwists out dere hoo noes why langwidges get simpler?
if teh Tower of Babelcat (Hebrew: מגדל בבל Migdal BavelArabic: برج بابل Burg Kitteh)
united felinity, so dat everywun lolspoke wun langwich,
and ceiling cat jumbulled up teh langwiches til we kood use langwich without violins an otter badstuff,
Then lolspeak be teh new order!
kyoo eee dee.
). In G
I is lingwist. An langwuidges don always get simpler, but is common. (sumtimes more complex! lyk wif pidgin or lingua francas turning to nachurally spoken langwidges!) But is moastly cuz of pronunciashun issues. Lyk when words come togevvur cuz is easier to say dat way. Or cuz we has no uses for owld wurds nemore. Anuvver facktor iz hoo has presteege, cuz peeps imitate prestige dialeckts, an so on.
I mayke sense? I hopes so.
Silleh Seward! LOTS ov peepl will get this an – laff a lot.
I gots is. I bets more dan 3 peepls gets it. Us has sum varry smart peepls here. Also, lotsa litterary geeks and mid-evil fantasy types, I betcha. NEwun fur teh Society fur Creative Anakronism?
i gotted it. corse i reeded beowulf in orijnawl. wen i gotted 2 part wher grendel comed to heorot hawll an bust da dore down – an a lite standed owt hims eyses… yikes. mah teecher hadded lite blu eyses. rite at DAT instint a gleem frum da winder hitted hims lite blu eyeses. an a “licht stod” owt hims eyes fur reel. (prolly misspellt dat. duznt know how 2 spelz in lololengerlisch…)
i almost peed. dat were so-o-o-o scareh. bout 10 yeers later, i telled teecher how bad he scairt meh. seemz he scairt a few ovvers 2! i still get scairt wen i finks bout dose eyses an da lite.
(chexks.) o, fanks gourd. dint pee dis time…
I r not in SCA, but groop leik it called teh Adrian Empire. 12th centoory represent!
i lol’d. Joo verry funnee in ejoocated waiz. whan my huzban and i went to see Beowulf, i waz providin runnin tranzlation ov Grendel to mah huzban. it waz awesum.
HWAET! He haz it.
“Whan that Aprille with its shoures sweete…”
–Sorry, rong pome.
Gaaah! We hads to memurize de prologue to Canterbury Tales, in Middle English, in my senior year in high school. Cudn’t pass English wifout reciting it to de teacher. And I still remembers it, many many many years later. I somtimes furgets my own phone number, so why I remembers dis useless pome??!?
Iz grate pome, an full ob teh derty joeks!
You remember it so well BECAUSE it’s “useless”. (and we were all so much younger when we were forced to memorize this stuff…)
I wonder if I can still do the preamble to the Constitution. (It helped to have a very large teacher, I kept getting stuck on the word “posterity” would think of his wide-load and then be able to continue…. I must be going to hell for that.)
I can remember the preamble to the Constitution, and we didn’t spend that much time on it at school.
Because if Schoolhouse Rock did it…I remember it.
fer once, John’z Engrish deegrey is
Useful.
fr teh rest of hiz dayz…
Nawt so much.
funny dat’s how i feelz bout Schrodenger’s kitteh lolcats and mai fizzics courses.
Yoo guyz…Brainiakz! Took me a minnit, but Seward sez (I tink) “What the…?” in da Beowulfian langwidge.
tuxie kitteh nawt no dat angleia jolie nawt in teh originul vershun of beowulf. tuxie thot dat he wuz helpin out hooman cause he lik pikshures of angelina.
John bees hapee acahs bill colektur fur fones companee bees Angelina Jolie. Shee whipz deelinkkwent cusstomurs inna shapes.
I cans read in Anglo Saxons. (evil evil laugh) Now I take over the World!!!!!
Depends on how much anglo-saxon he’s used
Speeking of teh anshent langwidges, duz NEwun bemember Candid Camera? I hears teh voys of Art Linkletter comin frum dis kitteh.
Ai member dat. Ai lubbed dat sho, maked me laff awl de tyme!
so dis powst gitz onlys 4 owta 5 burgs? pffft… dis whai i r cinnikul dood.
DIS PIC AN CAPSHUN IS CAN BE ABSOWLOOTLEE CLASIK.
in ebry sens of teh wurd.
Burnt the meadhall, killed off cattle,
Took he everything of value;
Smashed he what he could not steal.
He was good king, best of men.
an ran up teh fone billz,
frum fone saxon addikshun
AAAAAAAAARGH
or, as near as I can make out..
he polde uprmcan fopmman folcrtop
þahpileþe þarigendar unandpeard paepen
pifa and cildpu pæg aplice
bæpnde meduleal beheop neatar
æll tac he of peoopþ
rtempde hpaet rtellan ne cuþe
þæt paer god cyning gumena betst
–In memory of Aethestan.
oops, the W’s look like P’s
should be more like:
he wolde upsnican formman folcstow
þahwileþe þawigendar unandweapd waepen
wifa and cildru wæg arlice
bærnde meduleal beheow neatas
æll tac he of weorþ
stempde hwaet stellan ne cuþe
þæt waes god cyning gumena betst
…Anglol Catzon???
Þæt wæs gōd LOLcat
and so wæs Þæt!
……And it was easier to comprehend
Is that Joe Marrie?
BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
This one is brilliant. I bemoan the loss of this, and other classics of 1970s humor, including, but not limited to, souffle and closet jokes.
SHOULD BE OLD ENGLISH NOT ANGLO-SAXON!
Is that me?!?!?!?
One of my fave lolz. evar. shud be in hall uf fejm!