peace negoshiayshuns
beware, teh orange ones r poyson!
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder, lol caption: chatnoir
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rhsb on Don’t mind me, the baby… two_kittehs on Don’t mind me, the baby… two_kittehs on Don’t mind me, the baby… MomCatAnna on Don’t mind me, the baby… judson on Really…this is what rhsb on Don’t mind me, the baby… catslave on Don’t mind me, the baby… jackie on Don’t mind me, the baby… judson on Don’t mind me, the baby… hissy on Don’t mind me, the baby… bluesfan473 on Don’t mind me, the baby… bluesfan473 on Don’t mind me, the baby… bluesfan473 on Don’t mind me, the baby… two_kittehs on Don’t mind me, the baby… missy on Don’t mind me, the baby…
early bird getz the lolcatz
Jerbill haz wingz?
i can have 5 second headstart?
hmmmm, let me tink ’bout dis nom nom nom ok thot ’bout it no hedstart 4 u
I tink I start wit ur hed nom nom nom…
my kitteh alwais eats teh butt furst….
Eeeewwwwwwwwww! TMI!!@!1!!
Henry Kissinger kitteh tinks abowt saeying “Blow Whirrled Peas; just nom teh ginny pig!”
Sekond, in a fotofinish!
luk, paw4thot – du yoo think teh Scottish fold kitteh is a subtle tribyoot to St. Andrews Day?
Dunno. Teh Scottish fold kitteh is nawt naytib 2 Skawtlund tho!!
Deed u notize dat de white cloth de gerbal ees on is a tartan? Eet can be turn
ani wai an eet still be da same squared paturn.
izza GERBIL!
A pawsivvil nawt sekond wuz wai moar eggzitin dahn wethir or nawt teh rodent waz a Siberian Hamster!
oh liek Kizzinjer wud noe dat. thpppppppleh.
Ai thot bergils dint has no tayles…mos aye seen dint, eentwai.
Stoopy elbis! Oops, ais tinkin bout pinnygigs. Nebbermin.
dats ham-sturs.
gerbls hab tayles.
I do not has a flavor and I r not tastee or nootrishus, plz to not be eating.
Kthxbai!
Lolz! Naoh hoo iz sayin dat…teh kitteh oar teh mawsie?
wow, free fursties! yankeeragu, paws4thot an babycakes awl be poastin at egzackly 1 am! wee haz to danse free fursty danses! nao, how we do dat?
I iz Skawtish, an iz Saynt Andrew’z Dai, so how aboutz a Strip teh Willow?
ok paws4thot – we be celebratin yor national day in honor of joint furstee.
you has to lead us in dat dans. I do not noes it.
Do I has to wear a kilt? Do I has to toss teh Kabur?
Dan dans dans
toss toss toss
Du wee gotta eet haggis?
Nawt 2dai. It it wus Burnz Nite, dehn we eet haggis. Wahtz teh big deel abowt daht NEwai; haggis is a sort ob big sawsage.
4 2dai, menu is moar leik:-
Cock a leekie Soup
Roast beef with root veggez
Cranachan (oatmeal, cream, whisky liqueur and raspberries).
Ooh cranachan is scrummy. Do want.
Awlso haggis is scrummy – do want. Donot tink tu hard abowt how itz made, is bery tastee an nootrishus. Okay, tastee NEwai.
its teh how-its-maed part ob teh haggis taht i cant stop tinkin bowt! Cranachan luks yummy – 2 bads i pikded teh rong decade to stawp drinkin.
Ackshally, a av had haggis wen ai vizit Scawtlen some yeers back. Nodbad, kumz in different versions.
Ai ment tu sai: Du wee GET to eet haggis?” Not “gotta”
Cranachan sounds berry gud – ezpesshally de razzburies an Skawtch part
We eet beef tudai, nawt sheebs?
Robert Burns’ works!
Want!
Ah taht aspleins te blu banners on El Reg. Do yoo hav blu beer an milk? Or is it onlee teh Airish taht are taht bonkers for dere patron seint?
Taht Willow Stripping luks complerkaited. Aim in but apolergies in advens if ais steps on ennie tows.
We nawt haz blu drinkz, sept blu lemonaid and curacao, and Bombay sapphire, an we haz thoz awl yeer ib we wantz demh.
ai am here fur teh danceeng, but cud yew pleez shew me teh Strip teh Willow dance becuz ai don’t no dat wun?
kthxbai
Okai. >dans teechingz<.
No needz 4 kilts 4 teh laydeez. Best ib dehy wairz whyte enenin dressez ib teh menz wairz teh Prinz Charlee (full male evening dress for kilt).
We kan haz caber-tossing 2, but haz 2 to daht outzide.
K, I gots mai long white dress, mai Ross tartan sash (an mai £48.47 towel jus in cas):
See if I members rite-
*skip forward and bak*
*skip forward and bak*
*Dans down teh middul and bak*
*hold up arms wif kitteh opposite to mak brij*
*wanders off for teh Glenmorangie*
Slainte beagh, nawtsekund paws4thot!
oo fankoo alp fur essplanayshun. Ai has teh enlig…inliten… ai getz it. im impravashining mai wite evvneng drez, but ai haves teh purrfec danse-sing shoos!
Evereebuddee – nawt too wurree abawt teh propurr clothes. Csmall (see below) has brought evereething yoo will need. Escept teh ladies will awl need a prettee hankie.
Us can wear ghillies on teh feets?
Dis peers to be teh countree danse–do want!
ai’m in, too. An as it happens, ai has a verree prettee white evening dress. Nao we needs cSmall reel bad – she cud bring teh prettee white dresses fur awl hoo don’t hav them. An purrhaps she mite even hav sum ov teh formal kilts.
This is verree eggsciting. We haven’t had enything this formal since teh ball fur Princess Mu!
Yankeeragu – u and babycakes will hav to be stay bai paws4thot, as u r awl the honored wuns ov teh dai. (Oooops – sorry. I see ai’m organizing again. It’s sorta whut ai did fur a living – ai can’t seem to stop!)
Oops! Sry Yankeeragu and babycakes! Salutations to u nawtseconds 2! (an teh Jack Daniels?)
Lawrel reaths all round!
Okai, we iz goin 4 full kaylee dehn.
Teh bar haz elebentee sortz ob singull malt skawtch, an draft Budvar ib U wantz a sawft drink!
Mynz a Laphroaig!
oh thanky kindlee
Yankeeragu, may I take you by teh paw and we can does this lublee formal dans wot Paws4thot has teeches us
yuss pls to the Skottiss whiskee too
nom nom nom
and highland shortcakes (for babycakes) nom nom nom
Ai put on a beige dress (sorry, doan harv white) an grab my soobinir kilt purse.
Fer me an Oban pleez.
Owkey. Gud to gow.
iz bean missin ebberting lately. tew freekin busy.
iz skawtish danzin still goin on??
i lubs de mens in de kilts. ~drool~
i trai to look in todai morez but i noze i bee busy.
Paws – r yoo nao dressed in yur Prinz Charlee clothes? Duz taht meen taht awl ov us in teh whyte dresses r going to be drooling awl teh tiem? (Ladiez – bring yur hankies – drool danjur!!)
Ai think ai’ll trai sum of whut yur drinking. This’ll end up with everywun in a beeg sleepheep liek after “The Thrilling Reskew” – ai can just see it nao!
yuss we still be dansin Dogbother.
My white dress.I has it.
My hankee for droolin. I has it. thanks for remindin me JCH4K
My whiskee. I has it.
Dans Skip Dans
Down teh middle
Down teh middle
raise paws in bridge
fall over when bery tall person tries to pass thru
oops sry “Dogbotherer”
Oops sorree, taht wuz mai fawlt!! An now i dropt mai hankie!
At least ai habbent stept on yoor tows… Yet.
Skip Skip Dens Spin
here i iz.
wyte dresses 4 awl hoo needs. awlso kilts, tals sox wif flashes. (an nuthin els boyz!
)
its prolly just meh, bein nawt Scottish an awl, butt ah thot the Strip Willow dans mite be dun to “yu kin leeve yer hat on”…
Kay, dressed an guid 2 go. Ebin gawt mah sein dubh.
Happilee, deht iz no need 4 hats wit Scottish formal.
An I findz caller 4 Scottish country dansing!
WHEEEHEEE!
(An if teh drool gets owt of control, use mah £48.47 towel. I noed it wud come in handy.)
annyluvsprintie u maed coffee come frum mai nowz!!!
csmall, fankoo fur teh dresses. I tries mah weddin dress–is purrty wite cotton damask–but oof! after 15 yeers itz a littel tite.
We can has drink toasts in lolGaelic?
Dis bery funn partee! Fanku csmall fur teh whyte dress – it iz soo purty! Ai am nawt bery gud at teh danzing, so Ai apool… apple… Ai’z sorree if Ai stepz on NE tows!
Ai wud lyke to try the cranachan nao plz! Sowns so yummee wiff da berrees and creem and stuff! Nom nom nom….
Slainte!!!
Sowwy can’t do teh axxints but dere’s a tingy ober teh a (or teh i ai can’t memembr).
NEwai is awl purrpuss toast. NE moar ob dat Lolphroaig left?
Mom always says “don’t toss kaburs in teh howse.”
Danz lik da sugahplums faree? 3 dink dink dink!
kitteh sais i eet a peace uv u, an we skip teh negoshiayshuns.
lol… compramization
later: *BUUUURP* ai must hav et sumting dat disagreed wiv me….
hardy-har-har
Ya’ll iz funknee!
i iz not cheezburger
Me an mai armee of gerilla mowses are goen to oberfrow yoor ebel kitteh rool!
Uh gais?
Wered ebberybuddie goe???
haha, i red “drool” not rool.
i’z wundering wai teh mowsie’s still libing…
Kitteh prolly too surprizet: eh, arrent yoo spossed to run form me in sted of odder wei rown?
Annewei, yoo ebber trai to catsh a mowsie? Dems faaast!
I fink dey harv sektret jet pak enjin tukt awei sumwere…
Izza GERBIL! Naut mawsie, naut hamper, naut gimme pig.
Ai fort taht tail wuz lukken kinda fuzzy.
Fanks fer teh bilologee lessern JAJEH.
Anee tiem! Ef u wan whirled peas, ya gotta kno yer RODENTS!
i doan wanna kno where dat gerbils bin! pleh
‘ees been takin lessuns on eskapology frum teh who-dee-nee mandude.
Kat heard about David and Goliath. Just being careful, here!
George Bush Mouse – Come on, make it up, then we can all be fwends
Israeli/Palistinian Kittehs – NO
Hands katnyp awl rown, eberybuddy happi an snoozy. peace negoshiyashunz is teh suksess.
tuu bad teh katnyp dipplomessy no wurk in hoomin wurld
ai’m nawt shur enywun has akshulle tryed it. Mite werk!!
dat y it no work, it messy.
Politiks: a gaem of cat an mows
Sorree, somwun had to sei it
Meh Leikee!
o com ahn i kneds sumthin 2 poin 2 in hestory as sukses. pls? wurk 4 kartar…
Gerbhal sahs: U iz thinkn u has meh owtnuhmbehrd, bhut u’s is not ahwares that we haz been breadings during teh talkings. We were too, now we is ah thowsand. Also gerbhals will eats mheats somethymes if we wants too kthx.
Wen mah dottir’s elderly gerbil died, I foun his mate sorta nibblin on himz, an I fot, “Aww, how sad an sweet, she groomin her late hubby.” Turned out she was eetin him.
Pleh! But dat’s how gerbils do. Varry eefishunt.
pleh is fur shur. wen ai wuz in mah furst yeer ob kollij ai had a hamstur. corse she wuz pregnint wen ai gotz her…so a fyoo days laytur tehre were sevrul peenk bebeh hamsturs…tehn a day or to laytur tehre were no peenk bebeh hamsturs. mommeh nommed awl teh bebehs. pleh and moar pleh!
hmmm, deez anyimals reed “A Modest Proposal” tew?
Dis hapned to mah sistah’s gerbhals. She gots teh mono, and no 1’s was ahlowed in her rhoom, ahn they weren’t taken out in case teh carried it 2 us. I wus vereh six or sevhen aht teh time. Whun mah sistah got butter 1 wus crahzy, 1 wus dead ahn bein eatn, 1 wus ‘nohrmul’. Verhy sad.
Teh ‘nohrmul’ 1 had teh bahbies, but tehn she NOM’d thum. Also, she attackud all teh peoplez hunds whun she used to snugglez thum. 
My hurt was brooken over it. I hus not forgivun my parunts for not feeding dumz whun teh wus takin care of mah sistah.
I save dis wun to mai computr when I seen it on votin page. One a mai favrites
Yes, iz sew kee-ute!
“Um, this aint wurkin. Letz go to Annapolis for a tork fest run by an idjut. Mebbe that’ll wurk better?”
“Shoor. He’s akshully a pritty nyse guy. He sold us theez awsum missilz lass yeer wen we woz bomming yoo. Kwite a guy.”
Gerbil Schmerbil
I wunce had a gerblol just lyke him! Mai kittehs thot he wuz fud, too.
Ai heb sebral gerbies. Mai kittehs luf 2 wach dem. One geds hailee interactiv. Ai hed one out once and udder kitteh ack laik gonna pounce, but wen gerbie go toards him, he jump bak laik it awl kreepee.
neber underestimayt teh power uv teh rabid gerbil (yu noe, doze things that vishussly attakk teh menfoalk’s chins?)
eider that oar gerbil hasnt ben brushin laytely.
DIz one luks laik Inkspot dat I hab nau, aswellas InkytheBlackOne dat ai used to hab.
Dazgud naeme! Godda memmer it fur wen ai get noo one.
of all da mice in da village, Harold had never been admired for his decision-making abilties.
or
in order to rid demselves of the dreaded kittehs once and for all, one of da mices was elected to fill the role of “live bait”
I speek Kitteh az uh Sekin Langwij
Kitteh 1: yu is translayter?
hoo is yu translaytin foar? ai sees nobuddy.
Kitteh 2: *shlurps tail* whut? is shoolace!
“It’s all right, stewardess. I speak lolcat.”
jive-a-licious!
Eye wantz de phront piece. U getz de tayl piece.
aww–how’s cume ai allays git teh short ind ov teh stick?
Skotish fowld kitteh sez, unner hiz bref (an very kwietly) tu cheef negoshiatr kitteh, “Lets skip teh tawkin an proceed tu teh DINNER……….
kitteh in da background not so shure bout diz….
Maybee saying “Joo shure abowt dis? Is reel mowsie or a kunningly kontrived deecoy whiles teh otters r eetin owr kibbbles an cheezburgers an tunafishies?”
An not jes the otters, teh rest ov teh mowsies as well. Otters only liek teh tunafishies.
(Sry, butt sumwun had to sai taht abowwt teh otters wundai.)
staring contest
“I can haz less trade sanshuns nao plz?”
I iz no mousie! I iz gerbil!
Kitteh thinks to himselves, wow, I can haz piece, a piece of the delishus mousie, nom nom.
Kitteh in teh bakrownd, tappin uvver kitteh: “Dad…dad…dad…dad…dad…dad…dad…?”
Biggkitteh sez: “WOT?! Karnt yew sea ai’m hypnit…hipno… kontrolling de mawse wid mai mad myndskillz?”
Bakrownd kitteh: “Es..butt dad – eyem hungree NAOW! Wen doo we getz to eetz da mowsie?”
“Wen ai sae so. Wotchan lern, sun, wunuv deez daes yur gowing two haf too lern dis fur yerslefz.”
jurbils has voted 2 bell all kittehs. u put them ahn nows kthk…..wot?……
btw all — i jus hads to blawg dis, wif anuthr nooz artikul… http://www.teho.vox.com/library/posts/tags/current+events/
yeeeeesssssss….kitteh will kiss teh blak rowdntlunch. come klowssr…. smoochee kisses. kiss kiss kiss lub lub lub glub glub nom nom. oops. sry blak rowdntlunch. i can has yer frend fur dinner?
hmmm, eye radder haf ground launch–wiff cheez an a bunn, plz?
kthnxbuy
hardcore negociasiors
priem ministurz kitteh do not want negoshiashyns wiv cheez turrists.
Gerbals be so squee n____n
dat soft-speeking gerbil
must carry a rilly beeg stick!
Gerbil sez:
“If u wishes to avoyd teh fate of the uther 43 kittehs u sent aganzt me, we shall diskuss the termz fer peece.”
umm, Jerbell iz relayted two M Killer Rabbet frum M.P.?
Jedi Master Jerbil
You don’t need to eat me. I’m not the meal you’re looking for. Move along.
izza degu? looks liek degu. but they’re usually not black.
we smellz ur flavr . . .
That cat looks like my kitty who just got some cat nip
I wanted to recaption it:
PIECE Negoshiayshuns – you take this piece and I’ll take that piece.
Exactly. I’ll take the piece with the head, I don’t like mouse ass.
i met these two cats. They’re named “$100 Cat” and “Ozzy”!
My cat runs from my rat… It really fun to watch.
Degu teh negoshiatur for teh rodents becuz it is smrt.
Iz dont beleev uze relizez de grabity uv de sichooashunz
a leev me cat in nee ows wen a go out coz e sorts da dog out an keeps im cumpni. Wen a kum ome ner usually sleepin all snug un waam nexta da raydiaya in na livin room. Wen a lerrum out dough day av nowta do wiv eachuva.