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picture: kitteh Pants, taken by Serra, lol caption: Barb

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113 Comments »

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Lins

I’m on your tasteless carpet fuxing your perceptions.

LBeeeze

i dont recall dat dis karpet habs a flavur

kitkay

deaf-in-at-lee haz fyeurr, tohough

Pleh!

kitkay

dat’s ‘post two reed “fye-burr”! (sry, I hads to2 mush floof in mai mouf an culdnt purrnounce my “b”)

 
 
catalogical humor

flavr? R u one of thos carpet-munching kittehs?

 
 
trtskh

sighz, whar be teh danssurz?

Kathleen

Say WUT!

Why, heer bee wun now!!!

I will dants a hole in dat tasteless carpet, I will!

*dantses frantiklee in honur uf teh furstee.

U will join mee, trtskh? :)

JanetCanHas4Kittehs

An ai’m heer too! A liddle layte to bee shur 0- butt never TOO late!

Danscing with Kathleen and trtskh - this is reelee gud carpet! no holes so far!

Danse, twirl, hop, leap, strech, spilts . . .nice carpet. Ai stays heer a wile.

 
 
 
 
starling

Oh well, at leest I not be hittin mah noes. I’s not wantin 2 look laik pug goggie.

kitkay

o well, U cud purrtend U Bee Purrshon kitteh!

onceajinx

But iz nawt on a purrshun carpit!

 
 
 
Vimmeh

Dis look littul lyk inshurins frod…

ittehbittehkitteh

kitteh anser:

oh… ah… i swares i wares da beeg koller fing ever day sints aksidint lass week, butt was jus comin owt da showr, had no clotheses on, taked tew or free steppes b4 i memembered da koller. butt waz 2 layte - dun slipp on da slippreh flore. end up heer, like dis!! nao i awl borked upp eeeven moar.

mah injeriehs, let meh show u dem:
~tayl: twisted
~dis pinkie piggieh toesie: pincht
~bof arms: no can bends

i finks i deeserbs bazillion smakkeroos moar 4 dis…

ittehbittehkitteh

ohai, princess mu!
duznt knows wher u libes. iff in da states - hope u hadded nice fanksgibbin.

princess mu

ohai itteh bitteh!
yep ah lib n da states. ah am n GA.Wi got ryne n fangsgibindai. ah tot dat wuz kewl : )
wut state dew u lib in? ah hope yew had a happi fangsgibin tew : )

ittehbittehkitteh

corms 2 da leff ob meh
soybeenz 2 da rite
heer i iz
stuck in ohio wif u…

(i fink leaf rited dat - sevvral months agow - iz okayshunal eerwurm 4 meh…)

i libes in ohio. waz a liddel cold on fanksgibbin. waz warmer in georja - defintileh!

i libes in columbus nao. useta libes in toledo. dat were berry cold. usulleh hadded snow by fanksgibbin. sum yeers, we had da snow 4 haloween. (useta made meh unhappeh dat mommeh maded meh ware cote ober mah kostum. “butt, mom!! i’m a fairy princess. it’s gonna ruin my costume!!” she no care iff ruin da byootifull kostum…

 
ittehbittehkitteh

i gibbin mah frenz burgers… just in case wuz sumwun hu aksindintleh putted da curser on da leff instedd ob rite…

 
Vimmeh

Ai! Ne trol dat be gibbin lo burgrz, ai wil distroy ur fase! Graa! Vimmeh angree! Vimmeh smash! Nd eett sum brgrz!

 
 
 
 
LBeeeze

wai lol phunney !!!

i iz in de states but wurks mostlee wiff peepz frum awll

obar dee wurld (lots of phun).

dey remynd meh dat the US is an overly littigeeus society !!

salleh

ya fink?????? (occashunally ai iz sarkastic…..ususuauusaly wen der r loyerz inbolbleded……)

 
 
serra

She gots teh bazillion kisses insted

 
 
 
ittehbittehkitteh

hahaha!~ dis were da WUN playce dint has no cat-hares on it yett!!!

 
stend

corner cat does performance art intrepretations of modern art

http://www.sfmoma.org/exhibitions/exhib_detail.asp?id=150

next up - eva hesse

misteh

yesh - bee U tifulls performance art kitteh
must have studied yogas to prepare

 
 
 
 
salleh

OMG…. dis kitteh lukz zactly lik mi Oliver……(he ob teh puzzle peese trowing fames)…….beeutiful behbeh …..lovez dem loawg-hared tuxies….mi faboritez.

(lawng wiff, callis an oranj wuns, an stripies, an blackies an whyte wuns, an silber tabbiez…..)

scarletkitty

an nawt forgit dah tortees. My Annie, let me show u her.

Heather

Yes. Nawt to forgit dah tortees. My Cissa and Madjyck are byootyfull.

 
 
gascat

lawng hair silber tabbiez! I hadz wun, she b mai darius ub da “no brane fame”

momcat

 
 
Ambercat

Tihs is wot teh kittehs form teh last post luk lyk, after tehy com owt ob teh comp actor

 
moe

dis kitteh be taykin lessinz frum teh ninja kitteh

speekin uv klutz kittehz, i trai to poast nyooz link heer. iffn it nawt wurk, googlol “bionic cat”:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7109986.stm

 
moe

tihs kittehz marshil artz teecher be ninja kitteh

 
irongrrl22

i fart in ur jenrul direkshun!!!

 
Angel Kisses

I hopez no budie saw dat! *sigh*

 
handikat

Y is u upside doun?

Whatchoo meen, is me????????

 
Daisy the Curly Cat

I am beeing hed ober heels in lub wit yoo!

 
LBeeeze

ohez noez

i iz discombobyoolated

 
Romeow

Doan wurry…
Mah floof took teh brunt ov it.

onceajinx

But Ah liek yur floof dat mostest! Do nawt want it hurted!

 
 
Jack Deth

Kitteh arraynjezz
himzself dis weerd way 2 getz
instantz sympathee

Hewminz seez Kitteh.
Doan’tz knoez howz or wyez? Juss
gibz Kitteh hugginz

Flooffee Tukkz Kitteh
iz incrediblee clevurr
andz handsumm, 2 boot :-)

Jack.

ittehbittehkitteh

ohai, jack. i finks so u has tllep- telpeth- *sigh* i finks so u can reed kitteh minds.
anuvver awsum pome full ob win.
so… wen we can buys a jack deth pome buk? iz hard 2 kollekts dem awll mahseff… (u porlirf- prollif- *sigh agin* u rites lots!~)

LBeeeze

i tottallee agreez

we needs a JD poembuk foar shoar !!!

serra

sooon… i make compillashun…. if tahts ok with jack???
it will take a while tho

 
 
 
 
Romeow

Brake Chek:

Pads (Floof) - Chek
Shoes (White Boots) - Check
Caliper (Yes, I has a cat-liber) - Check
Drum (Yes, I has hart dat beets liek a drum) - Check

So Y I no stop before I hitz teh wall?

Cottleston Pie

Because, kitteh, even four-paw drive can’t stop on ice!

Romeow

I frot I cud unfurrl mah pointy ends n spin on teh ice liek Tara Lapurrinski.

*whomp* (into teh bords again)

 
 
Hyla's Brook

Oh, Iz shud git dat inshuranse wid deh green lizardd — costz less & I can has a littel snack too!

ittehbittehkitteh

o boi, u startin sumfin….. i laffin, butt i backsin up ennyways…..
*covers eyses*

salleh

oh noes, ai nawt risin to dis bate……..

 
 
kitkay

*contemplates this*
nom, nom, nom…
sigh!

 
 
 
Melissa

I soooo teeeewtallee ment to do dat!!!
*gitz behind kowch* Oh gawd I brokeded sumpin!!!!

 
Tribble

Sew mush fur de sayin dat kittehz allwayz landz on dere feetz.

 
bubbyscranky

Mah floofy pads of peenk, let me show u dem.

 
salleh

whi iz it taht hoominz wiff harez awn toeses iz repul..wreep….repol….nassy….an harez awn kitteh feetz iz so cyute????

 
 
trauma

Kitteh sez ‘dis da nyoo fing! Awl teh cool kids are dooin it!’
But nobuddy beleeeves him.
He gits up an startz *likliklik*
Becuz he’z a liddel umba-, emburra-, ashaymed.
):

 
kitkay

Did kitteh be copying whut eye did dis past springg. I meen ai did purrzackly dat, ownly teh floor be hard tyle, nawt karpet, an ai nawt av floofy purrtection. Wen Ammbylance cummed to my haus, dey culdn’t str 8 ten meeout, and haddta poot mee on teh bakbord.

It awl startet earleeer taht evennink wen eye wus leeving meye dr. appt an I twwisted my anklol in teh prking garaje an brokted dat funee liddle bone wich stiks owt–teh fib-you-la (dis iz a troo storee!). Dis at big city mecikal Sinter—1st ammybroolance droveded me aroun teh korner 2 hospitell ware I gets fickt up wiff a kast an sum cruches.

Layter dat nyte: eye gitz up frum meye koesy bett und eye goez innto teh kittchen 4 a dreenk ov wadder. B 4 eye getz dere, doh, Eye slipps ov meye cruches an slamms down on teh tyle floor und agenst teh wawl. Wut a mess–my boddee awl tankled up and meye R. ellboe broktet an disslokated, 2. Eye screems–my hubby commes downn too seee mee—heez awl discommblubeeated an nawt noe wut to due. Sew I sez: “caul annambulance”.*he gits out fonebuk* Sew I sez: “i’m pritty shure it’z 911!”

Dis rlly did happen, and 4 dat raison, ai due nawt like 2 sea dis kitteh picture! Butt I gotted a funkee kine of wolker at teh 2nd horsespittal, an I wuld tell U ’bout teh next dai wen ai falld bakwords of it an lascer..lasara…#@* cut mai hed, butt i donn tink U awl wud bleev mee.

patticlan

OMG I do believe you…every word of it because I fell three times within a couple weeks this year on my tile floors. I am so sorry you got so hurt. I didn’t break anything, but bruised my butt really badly. I live alone so had to get up on my own. Adrenalin helped.

A couple years ago went to visit my brother in Manhattan. Was going up an escalator with 2 suitcases and fell head down on the up escalator. Got all bruised, but lucky again and nothing broke.

I really hope you are healing. Its so easy to say “be careful” and then something totally unexpected happens.

kitkay

yah–iznt dat funey how whin (rite after rlly) you hert Urself, sumone sez, “BE CAREFUL!” An yer awl, “G tnx, I’wil b rlly careful NOW, so dat I wont hert myselv bak DEN.”

Tehn tehres teh other vursion, you falls doun an sum peepz ax U, “R U OK?” while yu bee layin der onna grown. Seems dat they ax dis obber und ovver untill U finelly say , “Yes”, thin thay kin wolk away. Eggaktly that happend too mee jus aftre I felld on meye anklol. Sum dOOd in the pahrking gahraj kame over an he sez, “Are U Ok?” *K. is wincing and groaning* “are Yu ok, miss?” *K. is rollin on the floor, not laffing* “Hey, miss are U O.K.?” *k. is mowning weekly, ‘no’* . dOOd tinks dat iffn hee sez ‘RUOK?” offen enuf, I will jus hafta relent und admit, “Yes, I’m kwite OK, thank-U verry mush.”

Butt this garaj iza beeg plaze, an soon (sooner bettah dan lahta!) 2 wms cumes buy an dey cauls 4 HEP.

AND 2NDLY fore yu

it iz skarry an broos-y 2 fall on tile floors! An ooouch on teh escalator!!! taht maykes my hed hurt tinking abut it. Falling on stares iz won of my biggest feers. Donn even wanna fink about MOVING stares. Somebuddy oughta invent nice soft stares and floors–it’d mayke life mush eezeer!

patticlan

escalator kept going bump bump bump on mai ribs til someones hit the mergency button and turned it off. That man did not offer help. Two very nice older ladies helped me get to the top. A policeman was waiting for me up there and asked RUOK……what else is there to say