Note to self:
Check brakes
picture: kitteh Pants, taken by Serra, lol caption: Barb
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kvnsgrrl on I iz addin’ some much… two_kittehs on I iz addin’ some much… two_kittehs on I iz addin’ some much… judson on Vegetarian kitteh Ambercat on Vegetarian kitteh missy on Vegetarian kitteh catena on Vegetarian kitteh Mitts on Vegetarian kitteh Jenn on Vegetarian kitteh annipuss on Vegetarian kitteh annipuss on Vegetarian kitteh siobhan on I iz addin’ some much… Mitts on Vegetarian kitteh catena on Vegetarian kitteh dacatwizard on I iz addin’ some much…
I’m on your tasteless carpet fuxing your perceptions.
i dont recall dat dis karpet habs a flavur
deaf-in-at-lee haz fyeurr, tohough
Pleh!
dat’s ‘post two reed “fye-burr”! (sry, I hads to2 mush floof in mai mouf an culdnt purrnounce my “b”)
flavr? R u one of thos carpet-munching kittehs?
sighz, whar be teh danssurz?
Say WUT!
Why, heer bee wun now!!!
I will dants a hole in dat tasteless carpet, I will!
*dantses frantiklee in honur uf teh furstee.
U will join mee, trtskh?
An ai’m heer too! A liddle layte to bee shur 0- butt never TOO late!
Danscing with Kathleen and trtskh – this is reelee gud carpet! no holes so far!
Danse, twirl, hop, leap, strech, spilts . . .nice carpet. Ai stays heer a wile.
Oh well, at leest I not be hittin mah noes. I’s not wantin 2 look laik pug goggie.
o well, U cud purrtend U Bee Purrshon kitteh!
But iz nawt on a purrshun carpit!
Dis look littul lyk inshurins frod…
kitteh anser:
oh… ah… i swares i wares da beeg koller fing ever day sints aksidint lass week, butt was jus comin owt da showr, had no clotheses on, taked tew or free steppes b4 i memembered da koller. butt waz 2 layte – dun slipp on da slippreh flore. end up heer, like dis!! nao i awl borked upp eeeven moar.
mah injeriehs, let meh show u dem:
~tayl: twisted
~dis pinkie piggieh toesie: pincht
~bof arms: no can bends
i finks i deeserbs bazillion smakkeroos moar 4 dis…
itteh biteh!! hehehehehe! lol
ohai, princess mu!
duznt knows wher u libes. iff in da states – hope u hadded nice fanksgibbin.
ohai itteh bitteh!
yep ah lib n da states. ah am n GA.Wi got ryne n fangsgibindai. ah tot dat wuz kewl : )
wut state dew u lib in? ah hope yew had a happi fangsgibin tew : )
corms 2 da leff ob meh
soybeenz 2 da rite
heer i iz
stuck in ohio wif u…
(i fink leaf rited dat – sevvral months agow – iz okayshunal eerwurm 4 meh…)
i libes in ohio. waz a liddel cold on fanksgibbin. waz warmer in georja – defintileh!
i libes in columbus nao. useta libes in toledo. dat were berry cold. usulleh hadded snow by fanksgibbin. sum yeers, we had da snow 4 haloween. (useta made meh unhappeh dat mommeh maded meh ware cote ober mah kostum. “butt, mom!! i’m a fairy princess. it’s gonna ruin my costume!!” she no care iff ruin da byootifull kostum…
i gibbin mah frenz burgers… just in case wuz sumwun hu aksindintleh putted da curser on da leff instedd ob rite…
Ai! Ne trol dat be gibbin lo burgrz, ai wil distroy ur fase! Graa! Vimmeh angree! Vimmeh smash! Nd eett sum brgrz!
wai lol phunney !!!
i iz in de states but wurks mostlee wiff peepz frum awll
obar dee wurld (lots of phun).
dey remynd meh dat the US is an overly littigeeus society !!
ya fink?????? (occashunally ai iz sarkastic…..ususuauusaly wen der r loyerz inbolbleded……)
She gots teh bazillion kisses insted
hahaha!~ dis were da WUN playce dint has no cat-hares on it yett!!!
Unexpected gravities
corner cat does performance art intrepretations of modern art
http://www.sfmoma.org/exhibitions/exhib_detail.asp?id=150
next up – eva hesse
yesh – bee U tifulls performance art kitteh
must have studied yogas to prepare
i totlee ment 2 do dis.
OMG…. dis kitteh lukz zactly lik mi Oliver……(he ob teh puzzle peese trowing fames)…….beeutiful behbeh …..lovez dem loawg-hared tuxies….mi faboritez.
(lawng wiff, callis an oranj wuns, an stripies, an blackies an whyte wuns, an silber tabbiez…..)
an nawt forgit dah tortees. My Annie, let me show u her.
Yes. Nawt to forgit dah tortees. My Cissa and Madjyck are byootyfull.
lawng hair silber tabbiez! I hadz wun, she b mai darius ub da “no brane fame”
momcat
Tihs is wot teh kittehs form teh last post luk lyk, after tehy com owt ob teh comp actor
dis kitteh be taykin lessinz frum teh ninja kitteh
speekin uv klutz kittehz, i trai to poast nyooz link heer. iffn it nawt wurk, googlol “bionic cat”:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7109986.stm
tihs kittehz marshil artz teecher be ninja kitteh
i fart in ur jenrul direkshun!!!
I hopez no budie saw dat! *sigh*
Y is u upside doun?
Whatchoo meen, is me????????
I am beeing hed ober heels in lub wit yoo!
ohez noez
i iz discombobyoolated
Doan wurry…
Mah floof took teh brunt ov it.
But Ah liek yur floof dat mostest! Do nawt want it hurted!
Kitteh arraynjezz
himzself dis weerd way 2 getz
instantz sympathee
Hewminz seez Kitteh.
Doan’tz knoez howz or wyez? Juss
gibz Kitteh hugginz
Flooffee Tukkz Kitteh
iz incrediblee clevurr
andz handsumm, 2 boot
Jack.
ohai, jack. i finks so u has tllep- telpeth- *sigh* i finks so u can reed kitteh minds.
anuvver awsum pome full ob win.
so… wen we can buys a jack deth pome buk? iz hard 2 kollekts dem awll mahseff… (u porlirf- prollif- *sigh agin* u rites lots!~)
i tottallee agreez
we needs a JD poembuk foar shoar !!!
sooon… i make compillashun…. if tahts ok with jack???
it will take a while tho
Brake Chek:
Pads (Floof) – Chek
Shoes (White Boots) – Check
Caliper (Yes, I has a cat-liber) – Check
Drum (Yes, I has hart dat beets liek a drum) – Check
So Y I no stop before I hitz teh wall?
Because, kitteh, even four-paw drive can’t stop on ice!
I frot I cud unfurrl mah pointy ends n spin on teh ice liek Tara Lapurrinski.
*whomp* (into teh bords again)
Oh, Iz shud git dat inshuranse wid deh green lizardd — costz less & I can has a littel snack too!
o boi, u startin sumfin….. i laffin, butt i backsin up ennyways…..
*covers eyses*
oh noes, ai nawt risin to dis bate……..
*contemplates this*
nom, nom, nom…
sigh!
I soooo teeeewtallee ment to do dat!!!
*gitz behind kowch* Oh gawd I brokeded sumpin!!!!
Sew mush fur de sayin dat kittehz allwayz landz on dere feetz.
Mah floofy pads of peenk, let me show u dem.
lol
whi iz it taht hoominz wiff harez awn toeses iz repul..wreep….repol….nassy….an harez awn kitteh feetz iz so cyute????
Kitteh sez ‘dis da nyoo fing! Awl teh cool kids are dooin it!’
But nobuddy beleeeves him.
He gits up an startz *likliklik*
Becuz he’z a liddel umba-, emburra-, ashaymed.
):
Did kitteh be copying whut eye did dis past springg. I meen ai did purrzackly dat, ownly teh floor be hard tyle, nawt karpet, an ai nawt av floofy purrtection. Wen Ammbylance cummed to my haus, dey culdn’t str 8 ten meeout, and haddta poot mee on teh bakbord.
It awl startet earleeer taht evennink wen eye wus leeving meye dr. appt an I twwisted my anklol in teh prking garaje an brokted dat funee liddle bone wich stiks owt–teh fib-you-la (dis iz a troo storee!). Dis at big city mecikal Sinter—1st ammybroolance droveded me aroun teh korner 2 hospitell ware I gets fickt up wiff a kast an sum cruches.
Layter dat nyte: eye gitz up frum meye koesy bett und eye goez innto teh kittchen 4 a dreenk ov wadder. B 4 eye getz dere, doh, Eye slipps ov meye cruches an slamms down on teh tyle floor und agenst teh wawl. Wut a mess–my boddee awl tankled up and meye R. ellboe broktet an disslokated, 2. Eye screems–my hubby commes downn too seee mee—heez awl discommblubeeated an nawt noe wut to due. Sew I sez: “caul annambulance”.*he gits out fonebuk* Sew I sez: “i’m pritty shure it’z 911!”
Dis rlly did happen, and 4 dat raison, ai due nawt like 2 sea dis kitteh picture! Butt I gotted a funkee kine of wolker at teh 2nd horsespittal, an I wuld tell U ’bout teh next dai wen ai falld bakwords of it an lascer..lasara…#@* cut mai hed, butt i donn tink U awl wud bleev mee.
OMG I do believe you…every word of it because I fell three times within a couple weeks this year on my tile floors. I am so sorry you got so hurt. I didn’t break anything, but bruised my butt really badly. I live alone so had to get up on my own. Adrenalin helped.
A couple years ago went to visit my brother in Manhattan. Was going up an escalator with 2 suitcases and fell head down on the up escalator. Got all bruised, but lucky again and nothing broke.
I really hope you are healing. Its so easy to say “be careful” and then something totally unexpected happens.
yah–iznt dat funey how whin (rite after rlly) you hert Urself, sumone sez, “BE CAREFUL!” An yer awl, “G tnx, I’wil b rlly careful NOW, so dat I wont hert myselv bak DEN.”
Tehn tehres teh other vursion, you falls doun an sum peepz ax U, “R U OK?” while yu bee layin der onna grown. Seems dat they ax dis obber und ovver untill U finelly say , “Yes”, thin thay kin wolk away. Eggaktly that happend too mee jus aftre I felld on meye anklol. Sum dOOd in the pahrking gahraj kame over an he sez, “Are U Ok?” *K. is wincing and groaning* “are Yu ok, miss?” *K. is rollin on the floor, not laffing* “Hey, miss are U O.K.?” *k. is mowning weekly, ‘no’* . dOOd tinks dat iffn hee sez ‘RUOK?” offen enuf, I will jus hafta relent und admit, “Yes, I’m kwite OK, thank-U verry mush.”
Butt this garaj iza beeg plaze, an soon (sooner bettah dan lahta!) 2 wms cumes buy an dey cauls 4 HEP.
AND 2NDLY fore yu
it iz skarry an broos-y 2 fall on tile floors! An ooouch on teh escalator!!! taht maykes my hed hurt tinking abut it. Falling on stares iz won of my biggest feers. Donn even wanna fink about MOVING stares. Somebuddy oughta invent nice soft stares and floors–it’d mayke life mush eezeer!
escalator kept going bump bump bump on mai ribs til someones hit the mergency button and turned it off. That man did not offer help. Two very nice older ladies helped me get to the top. A policeman was waiting for me up there and asked RUOK……what else is there to say
Kitkay….Honnest to God we aren’t laffing at you….At least I hope not. I hopes we is laffing WIT you!
Fer a time, yeers back, I was almost on a first-name basis with the ER folks…Kin laff now…carefully…
omg, noes. nobuddy bee laffin at dat.
R u possbly mai clone? Fur some stranj reeson, ur storee is purrfectly bleevable to me!
Ai bleev u. I duz stuffs liek dat- Iz a klutz.
fank-Yous awl 4 yer koncern an M-pathy! ebbry ting iz purrtee much bak to normel wiff teh joynts–I werked VERY hardt at teh fisical there-a-pee. (hats off 4 awl yu OT’s an PT’S!) An eye am vary lukee too haf meye hubby and frens two help mee and wate on mii! Waz a berry bad tyme, butt I hav blessings two Bee thangfull 4! An thx agin, cheezburger frens–eye iz N-joying mei gnu hobbee, an ai thenks dat awl us kluzes deserve bunches of cheezebergers. it’s ownly fare, after awl.
Yes, an yoo also deserve sumwun to bring dem to yoo, so yoo nawt fall down agin!
I has falld up stayrs on okashun. I has da fibromyowcha, an I tend to walk into walls…. An if der gonna be an erfkwayk neerby, Ahv bin nown to walk into da LEFT wall wen I goin RIGHT!!!
An I wunce spraynd ma ankull standin perficklee still! Jus collapsed under meh, I has no ideer hao. Wuz on a golf kors in Engerlan, neer da 9th green is an old ruin which wuz a Jernigan famblee hall in da 17th sinchooree, an I wuz tryin to get pitchers an stuff. Sigh. Ma famblee neber did liek me much!
hi all, i believe ebery tings you rite about fallin down and stuffs. bin akksident prone all my life. fell down basement steps wile house sitting (same house this weekend) and was bended lyk a horse shoe in half and couldn’t straighten up. had to make my way back up steps i had just ridden down on my backside and thru the house to phone to call fren for halp. had to lean arms on side of chair till she came and tried to get me in car for ride to hospital. was very difficult to get in car. peeps in ER (not workers) found very funny that I were bended in half. 4 a.m. in walgreen’s shopping for drugs. she had my bra in her purse and i were afraid it would fall out when she paid. now go down steps here very carefully. dog runs other way when i head down basement. took three months of bedrest to get muscles untangled.
and you tinks i donut believe you?
jinx, i has fibro 2.
OMG !!!
dee bra fallinz owt…..i cud juz see dat….OMG….i laffed owt lowd !!!
i gut won beddar dan dat….
i wuz inna business meeting wiff peepz in mai group at wurk when
i reached in mai purse to get de cloth ta clean mah glasses…
butt i pulled owt a pantiliner instead….
i juz put it back naice an eezee kinna lyke i mean ta do dat !!!
mah husband laffed himsalf sillie when i tole him.
sew funee, I’d ROFL, too, butt I donnt wanna get kuverd wit kittehhare!
O yah eye ;memeburr pantylyners–O teh blesssings of Mentalpaus!
Mai fren wunst gib herself a blak eye bi puttin on her bra! Her hand slip off de strap an POW!
Big black bruise – she had wun!
Berry sore – but we hadda laff *blush*
Nauw dat’s rlly hilly!
(Hilly-air-eous!)
Lyfe iz soe complexcated fur us wemin!
uh, huh, I heer u awl. Nawt even to mention dah yeer dat I wuz in car reck, two months layter felled and broked mah leg, den tripped on my cayne and broked my toe! An onse, I threw my bak owt puttin on my underware! go ahead an laff, mah doctor did, too.
hi sk, i fell 3 times in four months. walk slow like an old lady now; should prolly get a cane!
does you have a red kitteh? wear dos ur name come from?
Oh for the life of a cat!
not to have to
worry ’bout cars
and canes and underwares!
Safe in my floof,
equiped with pointy endz,
and a back
like a slinky.
with the undying lurv
of my hyoomans
who pet an pamper
me!
Oh for the life of
the peepz!
To have sweet little
purry furryies
to come home to–
after a hard day
scurrying around
cars, canes, clothes and tiles!
Dats is a bery sweet poem
Yay to teh floofy purry catimals
wee lykes joo lotts !!!
i hafta confess….
i laffded owt loud at de part about joo telling jur husband joo were
pretty shuar it wuz 911….
OMG….itsta nut phunney…i can imagin he was frantic to halp….
butt joo tole de storrie with suach a dry humor i cuddin’t halp
butt laff….plz be tellin meh i’m nut goings to hell !!!
LB–it was funny–that’s Y eye N-clue-ded it—
an N-E-whey, I onlee tolded teh abreeviated vershun: wen he furst saw me, hee sez, “whut shuld eye due?”. Thin eye sez, “Yu gotta git mii two teh hawspitel”. Then he sez: “butt how–I can’t pik U up whut wiff yer brokted legg?” Thin I sez, “call an ambleeance!” thin he fines teh phoney buch an starts payging thru, “whut’s teh nummer!!!???” THEN I sez, “I’m purrty shure it’s still 911.”
Ai always tell about teh fone number wen eye tell dis storee–it’z two funnie too leeve owt!
U nawt gonna goe to Helk–iz gut two larff at 1’self an sea hoomor in lyfe. Wii awl ben dare, an dun dat!
Lurve,
Kitkay
*beeg smyle*
I hope you is being all recovered frum your fallz!
“ai due nawt like 2 sea dis kitteh picture!” – butt you should liek it, she wasn’t hert at all and tehn proceeded to fall asleeep, she was comfy pants
Jes, fanks, I ams awl bedder. And kitteh berry kute, and ii im glad shees comfy! Ownly wen ii sea teh posey ition shees in, it louks berry family-your, and en a ouchy wai!
I had sitjuashun like dis at werk onse. I werked in public library, iz weerd playce. Anyway, dis weerd guy wuz tryin to get me to go into staks wif him to luk for serial killer buks. (btw, dis is verwy shortened vershun of storee–we had gone arowned befoar and him wuz banneded frum library for 30 days for threatening to kill me, and he camed bak erly, so wuz in beeg trubble.) I wud nawt go, and he wud nawt leeve me lone, and I wuz skeered. So I turned to library geek guy who wuz werkin refruns desk wif me, and sed, cawl deh poleees! An he piks up fon buk and sez what dat number agin? and I sez, real lowd-like, it’s 911. stoopy. He knowed dat, too.
anyway, we calls dah poleese an dey comes, but dah guy lefted already. Den owr night guard (cop off duty) comes in and sez dah guy comed to the poleese stashun and turned himself in. And dey awl thot I wuz cuckoo cauz he wuz quiet and stuff and sez nawt noes what he did. Den dey put him into interrogashun room an he goes bawlistic an dey cuffs him and searches him an pulls owt a beeeeeeeeg knife frum hims poket.
He got banned anover 30 dais for coming bak too soon after first time banned.
I theenk if he had killed me they might have banned him foar mebbe a year. (;
I theenk it is 911! ROFL
‘He got banned anover 30 dais for coming bak too soon after first time banned.
I theenk if he had killed me they might have banned him foar mebbe a year. (;’
I shud def-nametly howp sew!!
I tink dey shud tayk uway himz lybry carrd tow!!
An … on da acksydnt prwn frunt … ai wuns discolaytd mai big toow. Showyng sumwun how ai discolaytd mai toow …
*hyds fayc in embarusmnt*
AAACCKKKKKK. u tellz it funne, butt iz nawt funne iz nitemare……u OK ????
wat u meen dey sai no come fer 30 dais??????
dat’z crazee…..banned for teh life !!!! wher dis libbary?????
ai rite dem an tell tehm tehy big stoopiies ….
Harumph !
O Hai ebberywun, ai hab jest notised sumfing…..about lolfrenz
1) dey awl lovez teh kittehz…( duh)
2) dey awl hab teh grate sense ob hoomor (also duh)
3) day awl clumsy az h*** (dis iz noo informashun)
Hoo me???? r ai clumsi????
um, wen ai waz 12, fawled down an borkeded mi arm, an den a yeer later, roded mi bran new bike into a car goin dwon teh street…..(a yeer affer THAT i waz watterin teh lawn at teh new house we mobed into ina nodder city, an dis guy walkeded up to me an sed, “dont u member me? ai waz teh guy hoo waz dribin teh car u ranneded into???” we had mobed next door to him…..
den ai fawled off a horse wen I waz 18, an ai waz awl proud ob miselv fer nawt puttin mi armz owt an dey nawt brokeded, butt wen ai stooded up, ai hallucinatted wiff teh pane, ai hgad craked mi pelvic bone in free plaices…..
ai stilll fawls down a lot, hab finalli lerneded to relapse, an naow ai dont getz hurted so offen..
me ??? clummsy? ah……… yep
Funnily nuff, i bairly eber fall… onlee when i is doin sumthing stoopy… liek i tore my ligamints in my foot trying to do a kool spinnin rowndhowse kick thing [jes, taht i saw in teh mofies] too bad sumone waz holdin my uder foot… Serra FAILed
oh an der is always clumsiness wif coffee – i kan cary a full beer wit teh best of dem, but a full cofee.. .hahaha neber
Yah, stoopy human! REEL good idea to gets mah claws removeded! Dis be YOOR fault!!!
Toadalee! An den yoo gits a puppeh gogee dat always chaysis me! Yoo meenie hooman poo!
I needz ta hav anti-lok braeks installd
one of the funniest ones in a while
This cat is an exact clone of my kitty momma Socks. Its freaky how alike they look. Right down the expression on that cats face.
I feenk dis mite be a cayse of “Gravitee iz werking sideways todai.”
She’s my baby!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, yes, Cat Pants iz BEEYOOTIFUL!!!
Der r lotz ov Peeps takin bout how floofy ur tuxie bebeh iz.
Tellz us moar bout her. Ware did U git her, how old iz she, duz she do enny funneh stuff…watz she liek?
Congratshulashuns!
aww tanx…
history of little miss cat pants: my roommate adopted her den forgot about her (!!), so i took care of her and since she was teknically his, i wasn’t alloud to name her, so called her Cat… butt she became mine and gru into her pants, so to lolspeak [and meny of teh other silly names i call her]
she is about 6… i neber saw her as a likkel bebeh butt i wish i had… she talks a lot and lubs french cheese [st. felicien]. she’s very smart and ken open teh dors and use her paws for uder tings too [liek trying to intercept the french cheese between my plate and mouth] …
she’s my bebeh and i lubs her
i kud go on, but i needs to work…
tanx eberyone and ichc! u made my day!
Oh, and her name is Cat Pants
i wuz really hoping somebody wud say how beyootiful my kitteh is… but no…
*runs awai embaresst for hoping*
sweetie, dat r wun awsum byooteifull kitteh. berry berry swankeh. like mah scaramouche. longhared tuxie. an dis her sexxeh pose, 2.
dont bee shy oar embarasse!
OH mi goodnesses, how remisses ob usses,,,,, she iz a beuuutiful behbeh kitteh, ai usesded to hab wun hoo luked a lawt lik her, so ai am a mite biassed, but no, she beeuutifulll…..
makeses me missess mi Ollie…….
I iz bak heer agin tonite becuze I luvs to luk at dis kitteh. She is soooooo kyoot and shmoo. Luves her liddle toes, too.
Peeps askin bowt my scarletkitty name. Iz lawng storee dat goes bak menny yeers to my childhood. I readed Gone With the Wind wen I was only leben yeers old. I felled in love. I majored in historee. Scarlet was first feminist in American literature. She was my heroine, curtains and awl. Menny peeps no I iz Scarlet. Mr. SK sez she is my alter ego and comes owt when I iz feelin mischievous. (;
Library as skeery playce:
yep! But onlee worked there for 29 years. Den I got to retire. Dah citee offered erly retirements and most of us ran for dee exits. I got to retire and get a pension and everything at 54. How cool is that?
Oh, and dah man dat tried to killt me was fownd dead in his partment. in July. had been dead for dais. yuk!!!!
It wuz a mysteree. My guess is drugs. duh. Den wun day dis ladee comes in and sez she wants to return dah libary books frum her brother’s partment cuz he wuz fownd der ded as doornail. Guess who it was. And I maintained!!!! After she left, the staff applauded me for keeping my cool and being gracious. well, of course I was gracious, after awl, I iz Scarlet!
OMG my avatar suddenly came bak!! Yay!
Yikes! OMG, dat iz soo skeeree weerd! Iz dis liberree in Indiana R where eber dat hawntid liberree iz wif da live cam? LOL!
Liberreeyins put up wif sooo much! We lurves yoo!!!
tanx itteh [and everyone else]
my other cat, i called it ittybittykitty when i furst got him… now he’s called bats cos he’s batty and black
o, i likes BOFE his names!!! give ur ittehbittehkitteh – da batteh wun – a schmoo 4 meh!!
an dont forgit a schmoo for catpants. i likes her name 2.
Hiss-terical…tanksalot
Hiss-terical. Tanksalot.
HOly catnip! Meh Spanky has twin!
OMG… That really looks like my cat Gonzo. See: http://www.flickr.com/photos/itnomad/11341981/
Must be a close relative or a doppelgänger
Alex.
speeding kitty. i luv it!!!!!!!
i love this cat!!