paranoid cat
sleeps with one eye open
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder, lol caption: juni, also by jeremy
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Sleep softly and carry a big stick.
yay4lolcatburglar
as a notsecond danse i would liek to do the notsecond metallica mosh
“SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT”
*headbangs*
hem. sorry it seemed appropriate
ai don noes taht danse……….an me an lcb hab been stuk up shelbz togedder an awl sew ai tink ai mustest hab a “nawt furtsy ” danse fer her……….
AI NOES !!!! ai will *swing danse* fer lcb……
*climbz up awn swing*
uh ………kin ai hab a leetle pushes plz???????
oh noes!!!!11 ai hab maed a teribobble mistake !!!! iz a “n awt secund” danse……
blushes an runz awai an hidez under teh bed………
Salleh, u come out from unner teh bed this instant! Teh dust bunnies will gets u.
Come out and we can danse teh Batusi, like Batsman did!
O was gunna say dat
Beisball cat can’t wate fer spring training
put meh in coach
im reddee ta play
tadai !!
put meh in coach
im reddee ta play
tadai !!
luk at meeeEEEEh
i canz beEEeeeze
CENTERFIED !!!
John Fogerty referens – FTW!
Batcat?
the cat and the bat?
teh cat an teh bat ona mat???
I will not eat green eggs and ham, I will not eat them sam I am
I will not eat green eggs and ham!
I am Kosher, Sam I Am!
Base-a-bal haz been berry beery gud too mee! -lolSNL
No wun’s gonna tayke meye bukket!
No wun’s gonna take meye leggz!
or at least i am holding one to the one i got!
The cat
Sat on
The mat.
What’s that?
*SPLAT!*
(last line of pome)
Oops.
Sry bout dat.
boo hoo u smushed muh hat
smushed it flat!
Oh, drat!
There, there *pat, pat*
at that, fatcat spat at that brat nat.
Paranoid Cat grew up in a bad neighbourhood.
Was not so great, akshully.
Is not paranoid…. iz expeereeanced.
HALP!!!! Teh paranoids iz affter me!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your bats. You will give your bats a girl’s name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get.
wtf?
Platoon ref ah tink.
yep platoon ref
or mebbe full metal jacket
yupyup, full metal jacket.
bat = rifle
*shudder*
or ess it “full metal jacket”?
sorry spykes mom,
wuz seconds behind you
Ah well. Iz seed both fillums 1ce, an 1ce onlee.
Dhis iz mai bat. Dehr R manee otterz liek it, but dhiz 1 iz mein.
Just becuz yor paranoyd duzznt meen tehyr not owt to get u
tahts truu!
an if u be paranoyd with low seffesteem?
onlee unimportant peeple be out to get u.
I just realize that this kitteh looks like a kitteh we hads long time ago. His name was Kayci; that’s teh way I spelled “Casey” when I was presh teenageer.
Heh. Kayci at teh bat!
Kitteh not be paranoid, he be just protecting himselves from humins who puts him
in silleh costumes and affronts his dignitiez
sowee fur posting almost similar commentz twice, I thought wurdpress eated this commentzes.
Kitteh not paranoid, hims be protecting himselves from stoopy humins who puts him in silleh costumez.
U kan relax kitteh. U R on “I Can Haz Cheezburger”, nawt “Stuff On My Cat”.
hey hey! I resemble that remark LOLZ
I don’t dress them up often– but they DID get on lil bitty hats for their Christmas picture……much to their chagrin
) wez bery bery kute 
)
Gayla u is not alone, I sumetimes puts scarves on mah kittehs and they hatez me fur it, but they luk berri cute..
the kitteh’s cant have ebberthing their wai……they wouldz get *whispers* spoiled.
“i miss my balls…”
zomg!
whur’s mai lolcat?
“iz missing mai bawlz…”
is wut ai wus FINKING!
*hangz haed in shaem*
He he mumrik – sumtaims teh “reel laif” getz in teh wai of ur lolcat pleshur. Best wai tu deel is tu stik fingrs in eers, sing “la la la ai can’t heer ju” to reel laif, an fokus awn teh kittehs.
Ob corse, after a wile ju find taht the lolspeek is takin ober in reel laif, but nobuddy sed tihs wuz eezee.
*lulz*
doan ai knoes eet!
traid de lolcatspeek de otter dey in gaym room at pogo.com.
sum1 wus haskin bout ifn sum1 knowed sum1 wut has hakshuly *won* da jackpot in dar, or ifn dey (pogo peepuhl) jees is SEYIN “conga-rats! dey’s wun de jackpot”, wehn in fct, no1body wun…
ai sayed: “ai can has konsipruhsee?”
room BEEERY kwayet.
ai nao can has saign wut seys “i has krayzee!” wehn pleyin at pogo.
Donut worree. Most of dem Pogo peeps be krazeer den us!
i tu has had teh chzbrgr tax in pogo. rum gets kwiyet, lots uf :0 an i nebber splains my comence. wun dai hopefulee sumwun respondz in kynd.
*stands up*
Ai is Starling and ai speeks lolkat in reel laif.
*sits doan*
OHai Starling!
Welkum tu lolcats anololonymus.
We too noes teh pain ob peeps starin at us cuz dey donut unnerstand. But we unnerstands u and acksepts u.
Last week I maded a jokes about the ceiling cat when sum friendz had come over for brunch and they luk at me like I haz the crazies. I tries to explain but they still haded the blank lookz..
ohai Starling, wecom and keep comming bak…. ur in the rite plaze
Ah sed “do not want!” in n mportint wurk meetin jst las weke. Sum peeps thot it wuz a Star Wars reff…reff…u noe, thingie. Ah fink Ah wons poyntz wit da sistems geeks.
don knok on my door if u don know my guard kitteh’s name.
W all appologies to the late, great Zevon.
or wants his human to wake up NOW
Whut kind of bat is that?
A Louisville Snorgler?
omg rotfl,
iza polish ad:
http://pl.youtube.com/watch?v=VckeRSoGHZ0
pwnd,
kthxbye
WIN!
I second that
)
‘roid rage………i has it.
hmm, wonder if we can run drug test on litter box lumps?
wee cud doo dat but teh littur bocks lump’s atternees n yoonyun repz will fined a wai to avoyd prossakyooshun. tehn teh littur bocks lump ken go play pro ball fur anudder seeson. n brake more rekurds.
hemmeroyd rayj mebbe
My, dat kitteh has beeeg pawses. Beeeeg floofy pawses.
He luks like my Yogi kitteh, hims is a big handsum kitteh, with big pawses and ginormous ears, he is the boss kitteh of the houze, bosses the other kitteh and humans as well..
He He..eye haz wun uf Monorail Dog’s replazment legz. Eye lubs dis gaymez.
Ai tinkz ti maybbee teh pie rit kitteh replaicemun prat
Ur pirate had a flavur.
*burp*
Adn a “woody” aroamuh BWAHAHAHAHA
Dis’ bat, iz ma’ friend.
http://www.wannasmile.com
Dis iz ow we sleepz in bat country.
U kant stopz heer; Wii iz in bat kuntree!
Kitteh is not paranoyd. He mite be a littel batty tho.
*groan*
Sry, cood not help myself.
Doant bee. Iz punnee, in @ grone maekin wai.
yah wuz funnee
Bein a hep swingin’ cat. Ur doin it rong.
. . . Until Slim kitteh starts swinging an a big booming beat begins and everybody starts rocking and Slim looks just as sad as ever, and they blow jazz for half an hour, and then Slim goes mad and grabs the bongos and plays tremendous rapid Cubana beats and yells crazy things in Spanish, in Arabic, in Peruvian dialect, in Egyptian, in every language he knows. . .
not even try to move me from dat pilow
polaroid cat….
misunderstands
Zing!
wen ah sleepz teh naybar kidzll com in mah howz n b in mah fridj eetin mah foodz n drinkun mah laktaid n yoosin mah toyletz. butt r reddy, r prepard
Paranoyd Kitteh
haz fynullee figgurred owtz
juss whut’z goeeng awn
Antee Pawdz Peepillz
Bayssbawll Bat protekkz Kittehz
frumz infesstayshun
Bayssbawll Bat no goez
“Pew! Pew! Pew!” Maykz distinktiv
“Krack!” Kitteh Oaldz Skool
Jack.
loanshark kitteh wants the chzbrgrs you o him.
dine par? what dine par? I nebber had no dine par on mai bat……I swearz!
Higurashi Cat is nearing L5
And if you got that, congratulations, have a cookie.
who stole my cheezburger?
That’s a bappy cat!!!
Paranoid Cat is thinking
of moving out of Detroit
Iz my speshul bat
One day i gets it syned
Iz nowt bat! Iz muddler fer tew be muddlin leefuses an sugars an leminjoos fer tew be makin minjulips.
Mmm… minjulips!
Upgraydid Kitteh haz five pointy endz and wun blunt wun.
LOL thats my cat..
its names maxiecat
maxiecat like batses? dats wun awsum attak-kitteh…! burgulers no want smakks from maxie!
I iz littel sluggerz catz
Is reminds me of Paranoia Agent
Bat cat sleeps with one eye open GRIPPING HIS PILLOW TIGHT!
Wif a batt and a ay, youz wil bi fain in teh nait :3
lulz kitteh gandalf!!