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Cheezburger Network Blog
Gimme 3 mice and maib a side ordah ah feesh?
3 meeces, side ordah feesh, and one not second danse fur u!
furst evah post an da furst?
Yez…. iz my 1st subbmission that made teh frunt page. i maded a few more, but they iz still on voting pagez….. u’d have to look reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaly hard to find them. Thx again for teh comment!
Kiersten
Luik Dude, fur teh lazt tyme, put down karpet, so I kan haz trackshon.
I ated u last cheezburger, i go gets mroe?
da wordpress diddunt showz yer komint wen i posteded minezez. i feelz lyk bigg dummee fer sayin bout da same fing. too-shay.
moar cheezburgerz, plzktnx
i gota has moar cheezburg.
I gotz a feevah, and teh only perscripshun is moar cheezburgers.
u wants a side order of fries and a soda with dat?
At ower howse dat postjuer meens
“Lets teh sownd of mai voise gaides joo to mai food bowl”
N et comz right bfaor da ankle nips en teh paw swatz cuz joo didden pay ‘tenshun fast enuff…
My next-door cat (female) does this every time I open the front door!
Ais lukkie just gets bioooootiful kitteh balleys
stepstep, lookbak, maaauw
stepstep, lookbak, maaauw (Sillee hoomin, joose sposed to foller me)
stepstep, lookbak, maaauw (Repeet till hoomin give up an kitteh bellie ful of nomnom)
Kitteh balleys is gratest – mai Upstairsz Cat duz this.
Downstairz Cat too impaitiant – stanz on footpawz nex to me wiv forepaws on cubored an leanz an happi-hed-buttz on mai leg while I get fud readee, like “…sorree ai ignor you mosta time…at dis moment i relise wot speshul bond we hav…is tru…hurree up wiv dat can opner…”
Dis is da wai in ower howse tooz. Wen da kittehs luuk liek dis, day are sayin “i dun fink joo unnerstand: ower kitteh boles ar EMPETEE! Fill dem nao! kkthxbai!”
Wen Ai com hoem, mai kitteh EEDER sais
“Ai’s bin awl aloen, awl dai an Ai wuz loenlee an yu needs to gib me mennee snorgles an Ai’s gonna ty maisef roun yur ankuls so yu neber leev heom agin!!”
OAR she sai “O, itz yu. hi”
Jus lyke mai hows, cept dair be a wares mah treets, dumaz inkloodid.
Upstairz Cat: Ai bin awl alooon wiv dis ijit awl dai! How cud you?!
Downstairz Cat: O, you go out? I din notis.
At mah howse it can also meen, “com luk – Simon did sunthin nawty!!!” Liek nokkin ovur teh trash or diggin in teh ferns. BlooMax tattuls on Simon all teh time.
“Simon” is grate naym fore kitteh! Rite up tehre wit cawlin yur iggyuanna “Sean”
Hahaha..ya teh pillz in my gushifuds- dats rreeeelly funnee (stoopy hoomin) *phtooee..stalks out*
nah, ise gud.
K….needs gooshy foods, stinkee fishees, crunchee munchees and, oh, a six-pack of Bud … gots it … back in a flash!
u read two lumps? or did u get gooshyfood 2d hand
I fink we all uze gooshy fud – but da 2 lumps ROOLZ! Ebeneezer & SNOOCH!!!!
HUH? wazzat meen????? ai feel sew owt ob it, ai don getz it…..
plz to splain…….kthxbai.
Is online cat comic.
Le’t see if I can post a link.
Nope! Didn’t work. But the web site is at twolumps.net
fank u ! ai shawl goez an sees it…..
Well…. the kitteh looks like it iz leavin teh howz to go out or something….. maybe he/she’s goin out to teh store so teh kitteh be askin if u wants anything. U getz it nao?
oh dat partz ai got, iz teh “two lumps” dat throweded me……
????
Neber hurd of two lumps ….I musta heard it sumwherz … “gooshy foods” … is jus fun to say …. “gooshy gooshy gooshy” …. heh
Ai orderz u a pizza but Ai eated it!
(An deliburry boi too…)
For the last time, I WILL NOT PICK UP A BOTTLE OF JACK DANIELS!
Ib U askz 4 a Single Malt, daht wood be diffrint tho.
i can has pinoh nwahh?
Ennyhting but Merlow!
I won’t trink teh Merlow!
How aboutta nice bottel of chateau marmoset?
Sideways ref FTW!!
(ackshully ai laiks teh merlo so pbbbbtttt)
OT……fur teh edifcashun ob mi lolcat frenz……..ai onct resideded in teh bery hart ob teh whyne cuntrii ob californy……..an der ai lernded taht teh “Merloww” iz teh onli red whyne taht wil nawt gib u hedake if u allerjic 2 te red whyne…….
sumfin ’bout hystamimez, ai useded to gets teh horribbobble hedakez frum red whyne, noes taht’s nawt waht ai wanteded to sai,
tris agin……. red whyne haz hystaimez in it, sew if u hab teh sinuz problemz, red whyne wil prolly gib u a hedake………( whyte whyne do nawt hab thseo tings…..sew eesier to drinkies if u hab teh bad sinuz..)
der u ar moar tahn ebber wantede to noes bout teh red whyne !!!!!
Taht iz teh verree yusful informinayshun, Salleh, an Ai shall be maekin full yus ob it! Tankyu!
Me 2!
mai cowurker has a pinoh nwahh vineyard here in orygun … dem grapez makez teh bestest pinoh
duz himz bottlez himz own grawps or sellz to begger vineyard! I member whenz da furst vineyards started in orygun. Weiz haz sum ub da bestest red whines. And the pear brandy is ta die foar!
-Had boatz in Newports libed in Pootland, drove fru wine countri awl da tim!
nom,nom, slurp!
momcat
hay, samll whird agin…….ai useded to lib in Newport, bak ina dawn ob tyme, (1968/9) awn teh peninsula……..haz a goggie at taht tyme, germany Shepard maned “Anjoo” waz wunnerful goggie,
he wood go up to peeps plaing frizzlebee awn teh beech an telz tehm “oh ai lub to plai frizzlebee” an he wood plai nise fur awhilz an den he wood com up to dem wif teh frizzlebee in his mouff, and sai (stil wif frizzlebee in mouff) “oh hai, ai fergotted to tel u mi odder favoright gaem………..TUGOWAR!”"
I can has car keys?
Onlee 4 teh Canyonero.
Aslo lipstik, if iz teh Ladee Canyonero.
sins wen duz Toonces need keyces? (or lysenz?)
I going to NicDonalds, they has cheezburgers, Mmmmmmm qua…..kwar……really big cheezburger.
Uh, I’ll have a…
What am I saying, you’ll just eat it.
onli tooo truu……..sigh…..
Okey, sew free cheezburgrs – wun wif noe pikulz, seven shainee divaisez, an a biggur pawt fr teh Patugoneeyen kitn vaiyn.
lofe a bred, ‘tainer a milk, stick a buttah! a-member dat?
yesh, yesh i do. i iz full of old 2day.
naw- dats da peace porrige! members?
peace porrige souns kinda gud……
momcat
of coarse i member dat…dats whut mama sed!
lol
I a-member, I membered! I so lurved dat wen I was a littel kid!
Wow, I thot I wuz teh onlee wun hoo remmemmered dat wun! LOL
nope…der is lotz of us…weze not owld…weze vintage!
I not understanz, can u explain?
Kthanx
iz frum a buk fur da hoomin kittenz. Da kitteh mus ‘member da list – an over stuffs keeps has beein in da wai – iz funnee! I member it too!!!!!
Ai nawt OLD, ai jus LITTER-ATE!
um…
ohkay, ai owld. But onlee a liddle bit.
wuz also a cartuwn bit on Sezme Street
Lettus nawt also ferget HatHoseHook!
dapanferkitteh DONT EAT THE LITTER!!! Scooby snax r yuk
Very naaws Sabrina, I do member dat….not many do
Dat b remaindin meh uv taim huzbnd an i saw littul kitteh walkinz rite daon centur uv siedwalk lukin liek he reelee hed sumwayr tu b. We disaided he wuz gowin tu soat fr lohf uv bred, cuntaynr uv mlk, an stik uv butr.
I wantz chzburgr plz. An I wantz bakon for chzburger. Also can u getz me sum feminun produktz? kthx.
P.S. I hop my komentz not ofensiv. It was poztd for lulz.
not offenz mee…feminun produkts iz a facked ov lyfe!
An we has to pai Lukshury Tacks awn tehm! Sum lukshury!
true dat…da lukshury is da choklit almonzs, salt n’ veniger chipz, Dr Pepper and trashy magazeen dat u get to go wif dem…no srysly…same with dypers, not reelly a lukshury!
Tacks Revolt! (dat’s revolting)
femnin napkinz!
o yeh, cud yoo swing by the movie hire place and get that episoed ov Sowth Park wayr Mister Garrison sez I juss doan trusst ennyting dat bleedz for 5 dayz an duznt die”?
Oh nooooooo, we wudnt wawnt to offend ennybawdee! Look owt teh windoe, luk in teh nyooz, google it oar chek ur howzez ov guvernment. Aint nuthin happenin heer that eeven compayrz in offensivness to wot we tolerate in teh reel wurld evryday. . . . . . . . . . . . . eksept maybe dressin teh kitteh liek teh taco. that s#!t iz awl f#&$ed up.
dat duz it. i go orgnaiz tyeping boicot naows.
also wils start boicot uf aktivizzum.
HEL NOES, WE WONT… um oops
[*poof*]
i shairs libing spais wif boykat. is dat like boykot>
ai gotz ya beet bay 3 boy-kots.
heh heh – Teho iz teh mutch eksystencil winz awl teh tiem.
ai want yoo to go to teh windoze, open it, stik yoor hed outside an yell “WTF? itz rayning! this is stoopid!”
lemme add anuthr layer to dat: its nawt even raynin.
*Runz to window. Opens da window. Sticks head owtside. Yellz!* “I’m mad az hel an aim not gunna taykit ennymoar!”
NETWORK FTW!!! Yay gremlin and everbuddee heer!
I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell, “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore …
Can we just post silly jokes about cats? Please?
…
sum ov us duz teh hyoomers on lotsa difrunt lebelz.
u do wutevar ur comterbuls wif.
yep mostli ebberiting iz funnee 2 dis groop……….(glarez awl ‘roun…….*eben stuff dat iz nawt funnee* ) (sniker)
an tehy iz sum silleh folkz heer, wiff remerkabbble sencez ob humer…..ai stil tink “Teh Rescuez of Lolcatburger” iz wun ob teh funniestest tingz ai hab ebber red……an in a totalli unikue an heertofour un-nown type (oar stlye if u so prefer) ob writin nebber befour seen ina annuawls of peoplekindz…….
nawt onli iz we reritin grammerz an spellin rools, butt teh layureded constukshun ob storis an plaiful banter, iz hole KNEW ting……..an fun too.
an ’sidez wee allus getz bak to kittehz !!!!! wee teh biggestest an mostest lubbing fan club ob teh kittehz ebber tehy waz. !!!!
D.R. Pleese trai to put up with us. Ai know u dont care fur teh dansing and stuff – and ai know u r a VERREE lawng tiem particpant heer – much longer tahn mee, certainlee – and mennee otters. But we r having lots of fun – and there r still lots of silleh jokes about cats.
Do liek Teho sayed and just click awn the liddle sign above yur nayme – and tehn u don’t hav to see whut u don’t liek so much enemoar
Remember – “Something for everyone, a comedy tonight.”
And ai wudn’t want u to get mad an go away, becuz u maeks LOTS of comments taht ai find verree funnee. U wud bee sorelee missed indeed.
heer, heer, well sayed.
i likes u, dr. i likes typinrnawtaktibism 2.
yeh, chillax y’all. we can haz caturday nite brb, pour brewskies into owr eye sokkitz and roast caertrollz on a tyrefire. will be teh much win an awsum!!
hello?….
i can heer u breevin……
i finks ur calinder be brokd.
iz plannin ahed
Can I has turkey, sum fresh cranberriez, and sweet potaters please..Kthx bai
and pleaz remember not to eated it on the way back..
Oh, hai, I maded u Fanxgiveng Dinnur… but I eeted it on teh way back.
Oh noes, now U has to go to the storez again..
Yay! noa I werks appti… appip… mai sense of hugreenez up an we haz a dinnr 2gevver wehn ai getz bak!
(Um… son? If you are reading this, I’m not talking about you, honest. In fact, I’m not your mother, you are confused, and I’m someone else with the same name, OK? I wouldn’t make fun of you online, really.)
When my son first got his driver’s license, we made grocery shopping his chore. I swear he ate a full bag of groceries before they even made it from the car to the pantry. There were always things on the receipt that I never saw. I never realized that cat was helping him, though.
Choklit, rubber glubs, pens to draw teh picturs on teh rubbah glubs an sawft blankees. Oh an see if yu can fiend enneeting fore teh melty harts. Hiers sum monees, yu can keep teh chainj.
Doan forget teh band aids wit teh poneez awn tehm!!
Dammit! Wy do Ai awlwais a-member tings too layt! Ai’ll has to goe to teh twenneeforower AsdaWamart wit teh contrackillehs nao!
an teh duk tape.
yeah, pick up some more catnip
why is the nip always gone?
U has teh tweenage kittehz? Deh frens hang rownd yor howz great much tyme? U needz tu bee homz wit tweenage kittehs! Nip jus gatewai drugz. Skewl tells dult kittehz dis.
soon dey be mainlining cheezburgers and snorting feathers.
which leads down the slippery slope of “ZOMG! aint he a kyoot kitteh!” and belleh snorgles.
poor kittehs, neber noez what hitz dem.
What ur problem? You trying to heat whole naburhood by leavin’ door open?!
Wer yu born in a barn?!
and if yew r cowld, put on a swetter, fer gawd’s sake! We iz not millyunayrs!
Wen I wuz liddel (jus a beh-beh kitteh) mai mummeh alwaiz putted a blankie on mee wen *shee* was cold. Iz da wai of da mummehs. I tink dey trainz dem on dis sort of ting sumwharz.
mai mum putted 3 blankitz & a hatt and mitz and swehter onz mee wen I juss borned & doktor kaem 2 C us & telled her” diz is Dsember in Noo Zeelan – we nawt in yor Awntario, Kanada- dis summar heir- teh chayld wilz B oK with a dyper & a vest (unnershurt) LOL!
Dat sownds lyk mai mummeh. She iz waz alwaies tellin me “put on yer swetter, i’m coald.” She nebber tawt it waz funnee, tho, wen I telled her, “if yer coald, wye doan’t u put on teh swetter.”
Mummehs has no sinse of hyoomer.
sum ub uz does-
I does da sam fing to mai kidz ( I admits *sigh*) funni, mus be a mommi fing. I realli dos feelz culd when 18 year old son (yah- gascat) goes runnin off ta skool wif a t-shirtz n shortz, it be 36 degrees out der! Seen himz do dat (or fishykitty whoz wurse!) maks me shibers in da culd, an I beez wearnin free sweaters, coat, an da mittins.
I admitz to dem dat I naoiws is mai silli problem… but please! put on a coat, Imz freezen! I don wanna beez fawin da kidcicles whenz de cums home!
momcat
ps I fink da shortz n stuff iz ackshuly der secert weapon for da gainin ub da hotz chocolate!
Wehn ah wuz littl, an lebt teh door opun, dahtz waht mah mummee usd 2 sez 2 me.
AWL mummees, to AWL ob us!
Naw tho, I noze wehr I was bornded, an wood sez bak “Naw; daht wood hab been lezz draftee”, and mah mummee nawt arguu!
Yep, I sez to doglet too.
Den I remember he WUZ born inna barn…d’oh.
mai poppa yoose ta sayz dat. eggzakly in doze werdz. bunchez ob burgurz fer u!
An tern off dos lites u tink we own elektik cumpanee?
Iz lyk blakpoolilloominayshuns roun hier!
nao datz sumthing yuneek to UK dadz I fink! Uvver thingz laik barn birffs mor internashunal, tank gudness fur Koronashun strete- kips upp wif teh Inglish fum Inglund dat wai
mah maw alwasy sez, “u tink wear bord of watter n lite?”
Duz U own stok in teh lectrik cumpenee?
ACK! Grate mindz tihnk aliek agen!
i’m finkin i bad mummeh. my kids were da wuns what was barefooted when itz cold. running around not bundled up for an expedition to antartica. in texas it be chilly in da morning and hot in da afternoon. i tell de kids, you aint gonna freeze.
but i also did the “razed in a barn” or “heating the world” comments, too.
and dey didnt believe me and the starvin chillrens in _______ (insert country of choice) who would lubs to eat dey blackeyed peas. dey gib dem to the kitteh or would take handfuls to the bafroom to flush dem away. i was so clueless. i neber caught on. dey tell me this when dey is older. and dey laff and laff.
can i just stop the talk fer a minnit and say…
i luvz u guyz? u make my dayz so nice anymoar.
::sniffz::
((((hugz)))))
{{groop hugz}}
(((pilez)))
((((((((((EPIC PILE ON HUGZ)))))))))))))
icanhas((((((((((peoplesammich?))))))))))
{{{{{lotsa hugs}}}}
*runs through*
*shakes everyone’s hips furiously*
Da Huggining!!
Dis litl kitteh wentz ta markit
Dat litl kitteh stayded hoam
Dother litl kitteh hadz cheezburgurz
Nudder poar kitteh got nunz
An da litlist kitteh sed mao mao mao awl teh wayz hoam.
Magur epik faboolus win! I wants to gib yoo a fouzand cheezburgrs!
Yer wayz 2 kined. ‘Sides dey wud makez mai choles kolis badd fatz ober 300.
Tree hundrid!? Teh gubburmint heer sez U shood haz kolistreeawl abzorbin drugs ib UR cholutril iz obut 5!!1!
dat no help, U destroi yer libber anywai.
O well, den U kin writz a buk–”Catfoodnation”
teh litlist wun muz b teh komyoonyst!
win!!!
awww… is cute! i likes it a lot!
um..howzabowt sum bandaydz foar the skracthez on my handz… and sum stikky tayp foar that book u rippd up… maybe a mini-vac to cleen up teh kowtch after yerself… o yeh, dat kitteh litter yoo got lass week iz gettin reel stank, grab a cupple moar kiloz ov dat… o yeh, sum ov dat reely nasty no-brand catfood wiv teh sardine chinks in sawdust that yoo hayt. Get yerself sum ov dat too. . . . . wait a minute. . . wot r u doing?. . . tail . . . raising . . . !!!!! no! not the. . . . NOOOO!!!
i go 2 suupr wallmert an i by a appel, a bannanna, a corm, a duffelbagg, a eerplug, a fissh, a gasscan, a hatt, a isickel, sum jaks, kechh up, a lawn chayr, a moussies, a ……….
dey stil selz jax? ai tawt dat da kidz awl playded gaimboiz.
…coconut, a batterie, a inck pen, a pillo, a fishin lure, a cooky, a turlit brush, a ipodd, sum slippers, a nale poolish, a crissmass declarashun, sum galloshes an a underbrella, a lacksativ, a popcorm, a……….
u no tihs surpossd 2 b in teh alfabettanical ordur!!!
O, yeah. I stoopy. Wuz only finking of stuff to by at stuper wallmarrt. I go bak – …..a nut, a opener fur teh cans, a petunia, a qweeen-size panny hose, a razer bladez, sum shuggers, a tv dinna, a unicorm, sum vittemins, a wattymellon, sum x-lax, a yello somethin , an a zebra-skinn kitteh bed. Dat’s it. I dooed it rite dat time?
yeah, taht muches betta.
An don’ forgit da kleenin’ produkx!
kthxbai!
gud idea…thxz, kitteh add that to it’s veeeeeeeerrrrrrrry long shopping list
nawtz alpabetkal, ore mayB iz in sum ovver alpabet, butt sum berri phunne choyses, cratz!
a ni-cad bat-ry (?) a orange, a pichur frame, a ………?
a pitchewer frayme, a quince, some roobarb, some sugur…
Toothpayst, umbrolly, Victree Vees coff sweets…
iz taht liek teh coff dropps?
dat iz zactly what they is…I founded some Halls Original Strongs in teh cubburd teh ovver day…Ize not gonna try dem…dey is nasty…is not sweet, is pleh! Would rather have some Vicks!
Vicks is gud if yu has sumwun to rub ir awn yur chests…Alan? Ewan? Yu free toonite?!
I heerd a rilly funnee komershul teh uther dai, bout sum coff medisin. Teh tag lyn was “Buckley’s Coff Mixcher…It taystes offul, but it werks.” Dat’s teh kynd of adfertyzin dat huks me. Iz honist.
Ai’d bai it! Ebbereewun noes; if it tayts horrid it must be gud!
winterr swehtur, xyluhfone, yarnz, adn a zeebrah
nitelite, an octopus, a pliers, a quark, a ruffle, a sit-n-spin, a teaspoon, an uvula…
ohh ai hates to do dis, dogbotherer, butt…….ai feelz ai must…….ai challenjez your …”uvula” u cant bi wun ob dose !!!!!! wun u iz borned wif , n dat’s it !!!
doawn eben noes if u kan haz a transplent ?????
noaw u gotz to com up wif a differmints tingy for “u”
i accepts yur challenge and says it was a noun and not a silly noun lykes umbrelly.
i didnt want to use umbrelly.
and well, it sounded nice.
how yu noez yu cant buy one? dey sell all sorts of tings in all sorts of playzez.
but iffen the crowd says i has not a gud “u” werd den i goes along wif whateber ya’ll wants for da “u”.
i not be hurt in de feelings. dats hows ya lern stufz.
i was aktually worrit about the quark werd. witch iz nize “q” werd.
hoaz bout uintjie? will dat be a betteh “u”?
oooh sounds lyke a coleje.
i go to betteh U. teehee.
wel dogbotherer, ai waz jest being kinda sillie but iz truu a “quark” noaaw aim nawot reel shure ’bout tshi, butt ai tinks iz lik a atomz,,,,,,,oar a partz ob a atomz
anibawdi oawt der noes wat a “quark” iz????
an uvulaz iz teh hangy down ting at teh bak of ur mouff……ai waz nitpikin’ taht u cant bui a bawdy partz at teh stor……
an umrelli iz nise werd…..or “Ughs” (dey r bery populus funnie shoo heer n teh westarn US……acktualli, moar boot tahn shoo)
iz al gud. i lykes de sillie. i was tryen fur that too.
i jes luked for nouns dat not eberyone use. dey needz to get out and show off too.
umbrelly is werd eberyone use. it gets out lotz. hoa menny tymes enyone say uvula? iz fun to say.
and quarks are the atom thingies.
A quark is a generic type of physical particle that forms one of the two basic constituents of matter, the other being the lepton. Various species of quarks combine in specific ways to form protons and neutrons, in each case taking exactly three quarks to make the composite partcle in question. There are six different types of quark, usually known as flavors: up, down, charm strange, top and bottom.
Quarks de haz a flavor, but eye doubts dey r tastee an nootrishis.
OK Tribble, ai by teh “up, down, top,an bottom” butt “charm an strange”????
physuisitstss mustly hab teh stranj sence ob hoomor??!!
an db,…….uvula iz sorta a slipperi werd huh? slllllliiiiiiideeezzz oawt ob ur mouff……
(ai maed a plai on werdz, an dint noes it til ai wroted it !)
The quark names were chosen arbitrarily based on the need to name them something that could be easily remembered and used.
Nowz u haz ur science lezzon fur de dai. Wii can list dis site as edumacational.
tribbel – u awsum. awsum, awsum, awsum…
salleh and tribble is bof de phunnies.
an i lernt mush. dis site IZ edumakashunel.
r there eny fizisists who peek in here? hmmmm????
Didunt tehy get teh werd “quark” form teh buk “No quarks for Mr Mark”? My big bro is a fizzisit an did a tork at teh skool syence fare on quarks, wit pikchewers – teh charm quark had a farey wand.
The word was originally coined by Murray Gell-Mann as a nonsense word rhyming with “pork”, but without a spelling. Later, he found the word “quark” in James Joyce’s book Finnegans Wake, and used the spelling but not the pronounciation:
Three quarks for Muster Mark!
Sure he has not got much of a bark
And sure any has has it’s all beside the mark.
In this context, the word rhymes with “mark”, and “bark”, but the physics term is pronounced “kwork”.
Luk, evenz een 1963 dey haz teh lol langwidge wif da wurd “kwork”! Wii getz de scienze an lol hiztori lezzon tudai. Dis be lik humanities progamz wit da tu lezzonz interwined wit each odder.
Walmart sells quarks? I bin lookin all ober fur dose.
Fur teh u word, I picks a ugli fruit.
(I maded dis comment befour, but wordpress eeted it. Den it changeded my name to JimofChewbacca, but I changeded it bacca, er, bak. Stoopy wordpress.)
yu kin buy a Quark doll?
DS9? NEwun?
b4 i sawded tribbel reply up dere, i were gonna made a joke.
sumfing like:
“ohai. i hadded a quark: i pixked mah eer wen i were nervis. mama maded meh storp, so nao i quarkless.”
or
“dat quark had a flaver. nawt so grate akshally.”
Itz bez actchon figurez, nowt dollz. Quark wuz phunnie wit da rules of akwazishon.
Especiallty I need teh uvula!
wher did u loosez urs????? dat bery sad noawt to menshun, musta been a weerd accidentz !!!!!!
de kitteh got it?
(dogboverer… dat usualleh da tong…)
maibee de kittiez paw stole a wee bit too mush??
I wuz sittin on a fense wif my buddies teh otter nite, an we start “singin”. Akshully, itz mor lyk howlin. We sang “Stray Cat Strutt”, an I gotted carried way, an my uvula vibrateded too much, an now I cant sing so gud no moar. Maybe I shud go off to see teh wizzard fur a new uvula. Watcha tink?
mebbe ur uvula got broke wen u swalloed a ise cueb? nevver mined….stil i dont tihnk u can by a noo uvula evenn at teh wallmart.
Say, wuz yu eber stunged by a ded bee?
Walmart sells quarks? I bin lookin all ober fur dose.
Fur teh u word, I picks a ugli fruit.
GACK! Now wordpress horked it up agin in teh rong place. Sumbuddy gib teh wordpress some harbl medicine (the hairy-in-teh-tummy kind, not teh odder kind).
me, 2. U ever et ugli froot? I skared of dem.
I haz et “quark”–iz German dare-y produkt. Sorta liek jogert, sorta liek Kottage Cheez. Nummy Nummy
oar “Quark” iz wat a Bostonian duckie saz………
salleh – u r SOOOOO funnee. Hao can a wunnderful purrson liek u get to bee in so much trubble? Just duznt seem rite.
Make way fer Boston Duckies!
JCH4K…..fank u, ai needed taht liddle egoz boosty……besided bein stoopy ’bout inhairatinse, (jest regulur hoomin stoopy), teh ADD, ai goin ‘long, doin fine an den….POOF, brane goesdes waky awn mi, n ai forgettz sumfin importany or memberz it dai affer iz doo….
an ai doo taht AWL TEH TYME 1!!!!!1!…..butt ai nebber noes WEHN ai gonna dooo dat…
den, ai am teh suker for peeps in trubblez an ai counteded up teh odder dai, in 5 yeers, ai supportededd 14 peeps, gib tehm a plaise to lib an bot teh fud an lik taht. munnees go fasty taht wai…….nawt tinkin ahed, jest tinkin, ai gots it ….ai shar……
den tehre waz a man………izzint taht allus teh wai??????
naow ai paing teh prise fur being stoopy…….ai dint get smartz untill ……uh lass week…….
Oh an wile eye am owt culd u:
startz da deener,
pick up frum futbal practice,
moves lawndry frum waser tu dreyer,
make sure de startz homeworkz,
get da scowt uneeforms on,
e-male lawcrosse coachz dat wii has orthodonteest pointment, an wii not be at practicez tamorrow,
have dem pwactice teh peeano…
whut u mean u wantz tu go tu da storez sted ov mee?
Worst LOLCat evar! Not enough grammar jumblin.
mebbe sew, butt der’z plinti ob lolcatspaek daown ‘rond heer !!!!!
xp
But MOMMMM!!! All the OTHER kids moms let THEM cross the street!
YOU JUST RIDE YOUR BIKE AROUND THE BLOCK! NO MORE COMPLAINING! AND DON’T COME BACK UNTIL DARK!
mumblemumblewheniturneighteeni’msooutofheremumble
MAEK SHOR YUR HOEM WEN TEH STREETLITES COM AWN!!!
liek mai mommeh sed: “Y u home? r u hert? No? K. Go owt n plai”
Y yu crain? Yu bleedin? No? tehn goe bak owt an plai!
zakly.
kids nao cant plai owtside here. 2 meny pervees n nutters.
tee hee….:)
I told ya, only cheezburgers stop the craving.
i needz sum veg, sum yogirt and maib sum vitamin waterz
oh yea, and plentiphul cheezbrgrs
i pai u bak when u get hoam
cornetto.
so much win heer, I’s cryin!
*in sing-songy voyc* Lola, if U R goen too teh stoar, I need Shampoo!
(Lola, ignoring her Mum, dashes down teh stares, and
LOLA RUNS)
run LOLa run
yay–T. LOL-a! (lol)
German Lola onlee run oncet: “LOLa rennt”–but my how sie rennt–awl da way ‘cross Berlin en 20 minits!
LOLa nawt rly frum Berlin, tho,
sie no say, “ich bin ein Berliner (in)”
Shie originawly frum Hamburg”
(ich bin ein Hamburger (in)!)
Sumbuddy gib dat gurl some Kaese,
(if U kin catch her!)
kthxsbai
u be at teh limits ov mah LOLdeutsche, but “i am a jely donut” too.
basickleh, u doan wanna say “I am a” (any kind of purrson). dey sez – in jerman ov corse – “I am teacher” or “I am Protestant” or “I am American”. sum of dose fings has uvver meenins.
“Ich bin Pariser.” dat meen i from paris (frants. wher frentch peepels is come from)
-v-
“Ich bin ein Pariser.” dat meen i r a kondom.
(i heerd dat dere r british xpressn: frentch lettr. i finks dat r kondom. butt mebbe r old slang an it only offend da older folkses.)
dats rite ibk,
Peeps whoo lif in Berlin say “ich bin Berliner” (or “ich bin Berlinerin, for female”) Dat meens: I’m from Berlin. BUT ifn U add “ein” like JFK did, you R saying “I am A Berliner”–dis nawt meen “I’m frum Berlin”, butt dat “I am a Berliner” or you are something called “a Berliner” an useually we translate dis as a “jelly dognut” (mmmm, donuts…).
Similarly, LOLa would say–if she rlly wuz frum teh sittee of Hamburg, “ich bin Hamburger (in)”. And if sie sez “ich bin EIN Hamburger”, denn, U guessed it, sheez also edible. BUTT she noe wanna B DINNER, so she say, “ich HAB Hamburger” . Noaw we gotta giff dat Maedchen some CHEESE (Kaese) 2 go mit her Hamburger so she kann say, “IchkannhabKaeseBurger?”
She hab lots of Hunger after RUNNING so much!
Viel Spass!
No, Im gud — noe wait, if yr goin to teh convenientz get me sum cheetoz, the crunchykind not the poofykind. Oh an sum cuppycakes, but only choklit wiz choklit frosting. Oh an we cud uze a loaf of bred, sowerdoe or italyun mebbe but not plain wite. Oh an were neerely out of icantbeleveitznotbuttur. Oh an Im on mah last three diet cokes, be sure yu get hi-test not decaf. Oh and let me chek to see if we need toylut papur — oh we need papur towuls fur shur. Oh an if yr goin to get gushyfud Ive got a kyoopon no wate it ekspired yestidday. Oh an –
Nemmind, I’ll go latur.
The voyce ov eggpeariunz?
UR WAI OWT, LEMME SHO U IT!
Ai can has strorberree yogert?
tehy didunt has teh strorberree yogerts, so Ai got yu a meetanpotaytoe py, insted, ‘K?
oh noes, ai gotz teh strorberre yogets and meetanpotaytoe py mixeded up in mi hed, an thot u ment , meetanpotaytoe yogertz,,,,,,,,muches PLEH…..
butt meetanpotaytoe py, wel noaw dat’z anodder stori altogedder……..
lol i dont know why but for some reason this is very funny.
cuz it so normal. is wut u be yooztoo seein evrydai, an it luk eggzakly liek wut he be sayin. so much u almozt nots notiss it be kitteh dats tawkin.
…also cud be a seen riyt owt of moovy “Shaun of the Dead”.
kitteh go rown teh pub laetr too.
i LUVZ dat moovy. saw guy dresst as Shaun 4 hallolloweenz cuple yeerz ago in veygus. had saym tye n naym tag n shurt wif blud splatz n had big crikit stik 4 zumbee-hiting. moovy had such grate sattire, 2, wif both sad n wittee momentz.. i r stop now b4 i go intoo fangurl mode. maybee 2 layte, aktully?
yeah… i can haz:
fsh biskits,
marmite,
kebab – but hld the chilly sorce
and tin of ambrosia custud
yah an keep teh “salad creme” iz MUCHES PLEH !!!!!!! teh furst tyme ai wented to teh teeny tiny ilan, (Engleland) ai wanteded sum maoyonaze 4 mi ham sammich…..an tehy sed, “no mayo….woood u lik sum salad creem?” (do note, if u plz, tath at tish tyme ai putted the kwestun mark….insid teh parensdithesi )wel iz whyte an it LUUKZ like teh mayo, sew ai slathereded it AWL obber mi sammich…
den ai bitted into it.,…….pleh pleh pleh pleh……..nassy awefulz stuffz, an mi boifren ….(ebil persun taht he waz, he NEW iz waz teh pleh) he fawled awn teh floor laffin………iz nawt so funnee acktualli…..pleh !
Mah! Its de Avawn Ladee!!!1! I can has meowscara??
lolfunny
lolthx!
Uhhhhhhhh…… oh geez….
Umm… howz bout gettin me….
some pie… some soap….i think i need some papertowels…
Maybe some panties?
Uhhhhhh….. oh, and some boards to fix the hole ceiling cat made…
(I cant have him watching me “do buisness” all the time)
seeling kat awlways make holes in dah seelin, dusent hee? whut flavor uv pie doo u wants, anywaee?
me haz a cheezeburg
i can has cornetto?
lulz i has been wtching simon pegg moovees ^^
24 pak mows soda from dat Jones guy kthx
Yeah, ummm………………………………………………………………get me a Payday Bar and a diet coke.