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SHOWIN TEH SQRLZ


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MEH NUTZ

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder, lol caption: K BARES

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» 170 Comments

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

 
  1. woodchuck says:

    Trai to brake THEES, yoo littel firbalz!

  2. woodchuck says:

    Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

  3. NathanaelB says:

    mummy pleez help nuts r stuck to freezin window!!

  4. Brandon_ha says:

    You’re mother was a hamster!

  5. BENZO THE GREAT says:

    EKKI EKKI YERPANG ZOOBOING NERGERGER.

    NII

  6. yankeeragu says:

    tell im we already got one – itz ver’ nize!

  7. lufflaff says:

    diz pikture sorta remindz me of my kitteh. not the nutz part, but teh kitteh in da window.
    she died very unexpektedly dis wednesday. she loved to sit in da windowz waitin for us to come home.
    I luvs her verry much. sorreh for de off-topik.

    • Msfolly says:

      I feel sad for you.
      Our animals leave holes in our lives when they die.
      I hope you begin to feel better soon.

    • CrazyOldLady says:

      Oh no….I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my Aramis last year….I still find myself looking for him sometimes.

    • SarahD says:

      Awh, sorreh to heer abowt yor kitteh. Poor behbeh.

      • annyluvsprintie says:

        This isn’t in lolspeak for a reason: I want the people who are negative about this site to read and understand;

        Last night Kathleen,Gremlin and ittekbittehkitteh gave me a lot of comfort over my darling Newprint whom I’m still grieving for (and my heart goes out to you, COL and lufflaffs.) Then I went to bed, thinking ” hey, I’m glad I got over my nevrousness and started posting, maybe I’ll say something funny soon OR send in a photo of my black and white kitty Jester, who curls up and looks just like the ying yang sign.
        About an hour later I heard a cat crying and went down stairs. Jezzy was lying in a corner in a pool of urine, with his front paws bent in, howling. As he tried to move, I could see his back legs weren’t working and he started to scream and bite mewhen I lifted him up. Long stry short, cat carrier, cab, emergency vet,
        he had had a stroke due to a heart condition (he was only 4) and there was
        nothing they could do. He died in my arms at 4.20 am after an injection.
        If you guys hadn’t lifted me up first, it would have been even worse.
        So thank you so, so much. I’m sorry if I’m going on, but people who say we need help need to see the help this site gives.

        And I’m still not funny. Will try harder. Kthnxbai

        • dogbotherer says:

          oh i am so sorwy!!
          dis thread makes me cry.
          i am so glad i has yet to put on make up.
          please know i am sending you and your precious kitty my best thoughts and hugs.
          kitties go straight to heaven. theyhave to. what sort of place would it be without them?
          many hugs to you.

        • KittehLurve says:

          u not needz 2 bee funneez all teh time. I’n sry fur u, yer kitteh-n-heven, but kitteh not hurtz no moar.

        • spykes_mom says:

          anny, your post made me cry. i’m so sorry for your loss…and i understand exactly what you’re going through. we had to put spyke down just this past august and i miss him so much. it’s so hard to lose a friend who gives us such absolute and unconditional love, so i’m keeping you and jezzy in my thoughts and prayers.
          don’t worry about being not funny. there’s plenty of other time for that and we’ll be here when you’re ready to be funny.

          (((((((anny)))))))

        • Romeow says:

          Oh Anny, I’z SO sowy.
          Wen Aye fink ov teh drama ov finding ur kitteh sick n upset, habin to call a cab, git teh bad news, n ebery fing else…Aye kant stop teh teers. We awl noes wat iz liek, cuz we awl hab bean dere befor. Aye wish Aye culd halp it nawt hurt.

          Rite nao, Jezzy iz playin wif mah kittehz ober teh Bridge, n dey r habin so much fun! Mah kittehz r gud gud kittehz an dey r ober teh moon to meat their noo fren, Jezzy.

          {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

        • two_kittehs says:

          so sorry fur ur loss.. that sounds so sudden and traumatic, my kittehs send u sum purrs and luving..

          and don’t worry about not being funny, it are OK to be sad sumtimes…

        • jjtucker says:

          Me and my kitteh boys say prayers and send lots of loves your way.

        • cheshirepat says:

          {{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}} to all who have lost their fur-friends of late…I b’lieve in the Rainbow Bridge, and know there’s a “field O kittehs” out there where they now play happily!

          …am grateful for every day my fuzzy ones are here with me…and know I’ll be *just* as torn when they leave…my heart aches for you all…

        • Kathleen says:

          annieluvsprintie
          When I first read your post I was too stunned and horrified too cry. The chills kept going over my body. What a devastating experience for you both.

          And now Jester is on the other side. It wasn’t until I sent up my request for all my furry friends up there to meet him and give him luvs that the tears came.

          My kitties are there too welcome Jester, I know it and he’s in the most wonderful place of all.

          Love, Kathleen

          • Tiny Cheezburger & Angel Catburger says:

            Guise.

            The Angel Catburger (aka Peaches) is waiting for your newly departed furbabies. He will show them the best nap spots, full of sunshine in which to show off their tummies.

            The Angel Peppi is waiting to purr at them and give them lots of snugs.

            And the Angel Bootsie is waiting to show them where to hunt the wild cheezburgers.

            I am sorry, and I feel for you.

            Much love,
            Kathryn (aka Tiny Chz)

        • lufflaff says:

          anny, I’m so so sorry for you. this is a bad week for kitteh’s peoplz. I think maybe my kitteh Hope and your kitteh Jester are playing together now, across da rainbow bridge.
          thank you to all for your thoughts. everyone helps.

          • annyluvsprintie says:

            Thank you. And I hope you don’t mind I included your name; it’s diffcult to follow the different times people are in , if you know what I mean. Hope – what a great name.

            • kiwican says:

              berri sorry 2 hear of kitteh losses. Berri hard I knoe- also fur goggie & uvver pet losses. Mai dotter had saem experienss wen her Smudge hadz a stroak. Big hugz 2 all hoo bee missing ther petts rite nao. i cwying 2.

            • Kathleen says:

              i not minded u included MAH name….I wuz flattured.

            • ittehbittehkitteh says:

              anny:

              dats so devastatin, an i feels bad dat i dint see dis post till nao. nawt grate at awll akshalleh. i open da commints 2 da lolpic cause sumfin pointed meh dere – doan member whut, xactleh – an i sawded da storeh from last ob da boheicans… nao i feel horribl.

              i feelz awfull 4 u an poor liddel jester. i knows kittehs goes 2 hebben. wudden wanna goes dere iffen dey wasnt gonna bees dere.

              {{{anny}}} plz forgibs ur stoppeh lolfren hu dun scrolled pass u…

              i gotz a list ob angels 2. pugsley, devotion, manly jack henderson, shadow, sandy, bubba, curley, mister saint charles, spike, marvel, mietze, scaramouche, and puzzle. (six of mah behbehs died in a howsefire, den some died later i fink from sickness cause by da smoke.)

              i bleev in forgibeniss. i bleev in lurve. i bleev in da communyon ob soles. mah angel kittehs are playing wif printie – an dey wuz dere 2 grete jester. cause ur a lurvin purrson, i knows u gonna met dem dere sum time. i will be dere 2. i dunno wen – dats a sekret onleh gourd know – i sure we gonna bee dere an rejoin da wuns we lurve.

              i prays 4 u dat u getz heelin 4 ur hart. i fanks gourd 4 da promise of hebben, an i fanks gourd 4 frenship dat bilds us up wen we bout 2 falled daown.

            • annyluvsprintie says:

              ittehbittehkitteh:

              PLZplzplz donut be down on uself. 4 me, ther is nuffin to forgibs, is hard to keep track sumtims (for me newai, stoopy n00bs, haven’t figgered out timething yet) and I felt bad 2 not knoeing if e.g. lotbh got my commint. Newai, {{{{{ittehbittehkitteh}}}}}.
              An I feel dretful bout ur loss 2, made me crai. But hey, 1 cheerfull thang – if in hebben ther be
              preFall condishuns, all kittehs (an goggies etc) will be talkin! Lawd noes Printie tried hard enuf here.
              TY sweethart. for all ur wurdz.

            • gremlin says:

              Dese ar de saddes storeez. Poor Anny-Luv! Poor beh-beh kitteh!

              Oh, Itteh-Bitteh, datz such a sad storee bowt yor kittehs an de howsefire. Yoo mus hav braevhart to liv thru teh loss uv so menney beh-behs.

              {{{Anny-Luv}}}

              {{{Itteh-Bitteh}}}

        • Lucy says:

          So sorry for your loss. Purrs and hugs from me and my 4 kitties.

        • lowly grunt says:

          I’m so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

        • gremlin says:

          Oh, Anny-luv, I so sorree bowt yur kitteh!

          *reechez owt beeg orinj pawz and wrapz dem arown Anny-luv*

          Ther ther, beh-beh, yoo jus go ahed an crie. Iz okkay to crie – yoo jus let it awl owt.

          We sorree fur yor trajik middel-of-nite loss.

          Yor Jester iz playin’ now wif awl owr udder kittehs hoo haz gwan on befor us. Yoo wil see yor sweet kitteh agen wun dai.

          *snif*

    • dapanferkitteh says:

      ai sads fur yoor loss!!!! She at raynbo brig an has wayt fur yoo….but iz mos sad wen frends pass!!!!!

    • dogbotherer says:

      i cries fur juu.
      i sorwy.

    • Romeow says:

      Oh my, lufflaff, mah hart iz so sad fur U.
      It rips teh hart apart to member awl teh rooteens U had wif ur kitteh.
      Mebee wen U go to sleeps tonite, U will dweem bout your kitteh, an noes dat she iz happeh ober the Raynbow Bridge.

      Dat alwayz halped me.

      {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

      • JanetCanHas4Kittehs says:

        Ok – is teim fur beeg group hug. Lufflaff in teh middul, cuz her grief is freshest and shurlee at this moment almoast unberable. N tehn we can sit heer quitelee – well -nawt so quietlee ai guess – lots ov sniffin and nose blowing and tear wiping going awn, ai am shur.

        Ai hav often thot, if there indeed be an afterlife – r kittehs (and goggies) MUST be there. Hao cud be happee playce if tehy were nawt there? An eneway, if AI go, they go, for ai carries them alwayz in mai hart.

    • 3rin says:

      dat hurts so mush-i know ur heat reely sore. I hopes u still has a nober kitteh to snorgle an smoo-dat wud help. So sowwy fur ur los.
      Erin

      • 3rin says:

        hart, dat is, not heat. I joins in da group hug.
        Erin

        • annyluvsprintie says:

          You are such sweet people. (I’m sure Lufflaff agrees.) I really didn’t mean to make anyone cry though, it was just such a horrible coincidence I wanted to try and bring some good out of it by supporting the site as it supported me.

          Anyway, now,
          My eyes are sore from crying, my fingers are sore from scared-kitty bites and my hear is sore full stop.
          So I’m getting some champagne (really) and I’m going to:1)Celebrate the lives of my kittehs, 2) Drown my sorrows, 3) Toast you lovely lolpeeps and your pets present and absent.
          A flower would be wonderful,kimw.
          1lolfrenz and your precious pets present and absent.

          • annyluvsprintie says:

            heart, I meant heart, And the other bit came out wrong too.

          • steshka says:

            akshully, eye think evfurything came owt exactly rite. if we can’t reed past a typo or two, i dunno how we readz lolspeak. an i dont think we culd help but cry – in sympathy, in remembrance, in twisted support. i no i did.

            an eye’m gonna remember yur champayn plan an sok it away fer wehn i needz it. it soundz liek a gud plan.

          • SPARKYSMOM says:

            im cryin 4 u both- all my goggies and kttehs r over 10 yrs old. i am aware their time with me is limited.i know the bad days will come- but its good 2 know i can come here 2 all of u when they do. when i cross the bridge i will c mommy and daddy, and all my kittehs and goggies waitin 4 me (alrite da pinny gigs and hammies 2-but not da fishees!) i know they will all b there 4 me, like i would b there 4 them.
            i had an outdoor kitty once- he would b way up in a tree waitin 4 me 2 come home frm work each nite, and would run down and meet me as i came 2 the walkway 2 my front door, and twine hmself around my ankles-stoopy kitty-woulda crunched hm good if i felled down !but it was such a nice welcome! they r all waitin 4 us at the bridge-know this

          • cSmall says:

            RAISE A GLASS FRIENDS!

            for love and family far and near
            for friends present and long absent
            I raise a glass!

    • Dis a story, I wroted on mai blog. It was fur a furriend that passeded away.

      Of Memory and Loss

      Before I went to sleep, I decided that the next morning I would go and get a pet. I was not sure if it would be a dog or cat or bird or something else. All I knew was that I needed, no, wanted to share my life with another creature that would accept my friendship and affection.
      As I slept, I fell into a deep dream.
      There before me sat the most beautiful creature, neither male nor female. To either side of this wonderous creature, there were two indentical waterfalls with deep clear pools at their base. From each waterfall, the most crystal blue water cascaded down. I was entranced. Never before had I seen seen such beauty, such serentity.
      Wordlessly, the creature motioned for me to come towards the pools at the base of the waterfalls. I noticed that at each pool, there was a small silver cup attached to a fine silver chain.
      “Dip thy finger into the pool and taste.” the creature said as it gestured to the pool to its left.
      I did as instructed. As the clear cool liquid touched my tongue, my stomach clenched with pain and my heart pounded fiercely within my chest. A hollowness rang throughout my being that I feared I would never recover from.
      “This is the Pool of Loss.” the creature said and then it motioned to the other pool of water. “Dip thy finger into the pool and taste.”
      Warily, I drew my forefinger through the water of the other pool of water. As my finger touched my tongue, a joy so deep and pure touched my soul. A wave of happiness and wonder drowned the pangs of sorrow and loss the first pool had caused.
      “This is the Pool of Memory.” the creature said. “If you take one of God’s creatures into your heart, you must be prepared to drink from both pools. Do you accept this as your covenant, your bond with one of God’s creatures?”
      Silently I nodded yes.
      “Then drink from each pool.” The creature instructed as it motioned towards the silver cups at the sides of the pools.”For now they will bear no taste, but in time you will discover how much you have partaken of each.”
      The very next day, I went and found a kitten at a local shelter. It was the smallest one of the litter and it was the one who seemed to need me the most.
      I watched it grow and play and I revelled in the smallest joy it brought to me. But then without warning, it was taken from me in a way most sudden and cruel.
      Once again I felt the pangs I had felt in my dream when I tasted the waters of the Pool of Loss. Only this time, I thought the pain would never leave. Then, I remembered the taste of the waters from the Pool of Memory. Slowly the pain of Loss began to subside, and was replaced with the joy of Memory.
      I realized that I had drank more from the Pool of Loss than the Pool of Memory in my dream. But now I knew that the Pool of Memory brought more than enough comfort to offset the pain the Pool of Loss could cause.
      I now bear the knowledge that each time I open my heart to one of God’s creatures, I drink from the Pool of Memory and the Pool of Loss. How much I partake depends on each creature and that, in the end, the power of Memory is so much more powerful than the power of Loss.

    • gremlin says:

      Lufflaff, sowry bowt yor kitteh.

      Saem ting fur me – wen mai kitteh went to da brij, I stil saw him ebberywher. In awl hims favrit spots. Woke up in nite lissening for him, sumtiemz thot I still heerd him; wud waek up sad.

      {{hugz fur yoo, Lufflaff}} an heeling for yor por hart.

  8. Tim Harrod says:

    Teh korect term iz “harblz.”

  9. Kumbulu says:

    Kitteh exubishinist! Sumbodi fone teh poliz!

  10. Kumbulu says:

    Awww lufflaff. Mi an mi kittehs sendz lotz hugz an purrz. {{{{{luff}}}}}

  11. Kumbulu says:

    Finkz wi needz dans fo flacshing!

    Step, step open ovacoat!
    Step, step cloos ovacoat!

    Twirl, twirl,
    Evil grin!

    Step, step open ovacoat!
    Step, step cloos ovacoat!

  12. Noel says:

    O, I cant helps but get a littul vulgerr.
    “EET DIS.”

  13. two_kittehs says:

    Acrobatik kitteh is doin stuntz in ur windoz

  14. D.R. says:

    Okay, not only is this a really stupid caption, but I didn’t even see it on the vote page.

  15. Unknown says:

    This is completely disgusting!!!!

  16. Unknown says:

    “Okay, not only is this a really stupid caption, but I didn’t even see it on the vote page.”…
    GREAT COMMENT (not sarcastic) AT LEAST SOMEONE HAS SOME DECENCY

    • gascat says:

      do you have nothing better to do than put down what we have been trying to build here?

      seriously man(or woman), lighten up.

      it seems everytime I see your name there is post underneath that seems designed to make people feel bad.

      either develop a sense of humor or leave this site.

      • Kathleen says:

        *stans beehine gascat

        (wiff platefull uv burgurs)*

        :)

        • fafoosh says:

          *stans behain gascat n Kathleen wif nutz n hairblz* teehee

          (I’m new to this site, have been lurking for a while, but always have fun! If there is something a little to “off color” for me, I just move on to the next pic. No harm, and I certainly wouldn’t want to deprive anyone of their hairblz and buttsechs!) :)

        • gascat says:

          *stans bi kathleen wif gimongus roots beer
          (gotz to member himz age u naows!)

          momcat

          • gascat says:

            thank you everyone for standing behind me.

            I am really getting tired of people attacking this site.

            in fact as I was reading the comments on the kite kitteh picture a thought came to me.

            the next time a troll who can’t be brought around comes along
            WE SHALL GO TO WAR!!!!!
            WHO’S WITH ME!!!!!!

            I think that this might actually get people to change their ways (I can dream can’t I?)

            • Nika says:

              *stans wif evrywun, bringin a kart of piez* Ok, so I gots nastee wuns to throw at nastee peeps, and taystee wuns to eet.
              Srsly, tho, I am so sick of teh peeps wif no sens of humor tryin to bring us awl daown. If yu dun liek teh pic, go to teh neckst wun. If yu dun liek teh site, then leave!
              Yoo know, we gots a sine heer in Noo Orleenz dat be verreh relevant: “BE NICE OR LEAVE”.

      • Kathleen says:

        awwww…..cello solo looks like my Bootsie!!!!!!

      • ittehbittehkitteh says:

        cuzzin, ur killin meh!!!! killin meh!!!

        omg. if we cants bee tasteless wif ur frenz, den hu we gonna bee tasteless wiff??
        i nebber seed da cello lolpic. priceless…

        dese r cats. wen dey gonna figger dat owt? wud bee diffrent if it wuz picture of a nekkid hyooming man displayin … uh… his…nuts… to…….

        *lost in thought*

  17. Umbee says:

    It’s rather vulgar. :/

  18. paws4thot says:

    Net curtains – fifty pence.
    Exhibishionist cat – thirty three pounds
    Putting a date-stamped picture up to a LOLsite – priceless!

  19. steshka says:

    an dere’s a hush uppon teh crowd as fluffy prepairs fer her dubble bak-flip wif a twist…

  20. Bobby says:

    Oh, sexee grlfrend

  21. cratz says:

    Hay skwerrllies! I gots ur nuts rite heer!

  22. lowly grunt says:

    dis kitteh wantz 2 be lyke ol Garfield car window sticky tings…

    dis also adds new meenin to ‘hang in dere, baby’

  23. typingisnotactivism says:

    Windowz Ex-pee Purrflesh’n'all: ai haz it!

  24. Pittypat says:

    Affer shedding her inhibishuns when she posed as a nood model, Mata Hari adapted her praktices and provokative poses to her newlee akwired profeshin as a dancer. Her mood was melankolly, her moofments sensual and suggestiff.

  25. WannaSmile says:

    Ma’ nutz r bigger dan’ ur nutz.

    http://www.wannasmile.com

  26. SarahD says:

    Frum heer… I cans see forevurr!

  27. serra says:

    how do u liek them harblz?

  28. He is the Dave says:

    datz jus nutz.

    HAHAHHAHAHAHA NUT JOKE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -splodes in2 a milyun peeces-

  29. buttercup says:

    Funny how kitecat considduhed offensiv but not nuts kitteh…i tink bofe funny, ha ha!!!1!!

  30. Ignatz says:

    is Spiderkitteh!

    (cues up Ramones)

    Spiderkitteh, Spiderkitteh
    Friendly neighborhood Spiderkitteh
    Spins a web, any size
    catches squrlz just like flies…

    Kitteh was bitted by radioactiv spider; now has super window-clinging powers! Fights crime, offends trolls, makes inappropriate public displays of harbls! (sorree, LOLspeak brokeded today…)

    • Kathleen says:

      Well, den.

      Fur a brokeded LOL speek, dat wus prettee ennurtayneeng!

    • gascat says:

      creepi creepi crawli crawli creepi creepi crawli crawli
      luk himz crawlin ups mai wallz
      blak n harry berri small
      naows himz up abov mai head
      hangin by a liddli fred
      boardus da kitti
      boardus da kitti….

      momcat

  31. jacksdefeat says:

    i lyke how dis pikchur iz okz, but de kite cat not so okz.
    i has laffs ovrr dis ironeez.

  32. Tucker says:

    DA shong for dis can beeees…… DAA mishun imposibul theem!!

  33. Cerene says:

    to the original author: Brilliant!! LMAO.

  34. B0bbyG says:

    iz intrestin dat dis iz not flaggd az offenziv but kitekat iz.

    what doez dat sai abowt peeplz?

    dis iz not taht funneh. teh kitekat pic iz much funneh-er.

    • MaryOGrady says:

      some peeps maybe tink kitekat is blaspheme there Jeebus.
      Lolcat nutz, or harblz, not blaspheme there Jeebus.
      Me, ateeis, lol at boz.

  35. Bianci Sheys says:

    hey,,, thats cute. i lov cats. i hav nevr seen these b4 jst stumbled acrss them today googlin funny cats. hmm lol.♥

  36. MaryOGrady says:

    Funneh! lol!

  37. ur worsnitemaredevinthegirl says:

    cant…..stop……laughing……must….breath….sometime…..soon…maybe…wet …my….pants…twice…cant….stop….freakin….laughing!…..help!

  38. Pixiedust says:

    Can I see them now? I wanna a full picture smexy!

  39. jake wallace says:

    r ur hrbls stuck to da windO?

  40. Squirrel Queen says:

    The cats will never win the war!!!!!!!

  41. blutuxo says:

    so im on a walk… ZOMG!!! is that.. NUTS?

  42. raven says:

    tat wad funni teh onwy nuts sqwrls wont eats!



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