« Previous I needs 2 top off | I can fite Next »
» 241 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
Emily on Terroar in a tiny town cweenmj on Simon Said ..… sunnyhuckle on Simon Said ..… sunnyhuckle on Simon Said ..… sunnyhuckle on Simon Said ..… sunnyhuckle on Simon Said ..… OnleeKitteh on Simon Said ..… sunnyhuckle on Simon Said ..… sunnyhuckle on Simon Said ..… OnleeKitteh on Simon Said ..… bennybm on Ever have the feeling… parrothead on Simon Said ..… Alex Wells on Terroar in a tiny town keshet on In one ear—> cweenmj on Simon Said ..… 
Cheezburger Network Blog
I haev soopah size!
u want fries wif dat?
Only if it coems wiv da free toy.
An onlee iffen da toy iz not coated wif da dayt raep drug…pleh!
Don’t be low-burgerin’ Skye here, peepl. Is reference to current event currently in teh nooz:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21678196/
Sportin’ uf ye to maek dat teh cleer, lolcatburgler. Ei did not no dis. srsly.
Nao ei duz.
Tanks fer da reskyoo, lolcatburglar. Thot moar peepul knewz bout dis. I be moar cleer next tyme.
Gotcher back, babe.
adn a dyit coek plskthx
one diet coke and power ranger (bow or gur?) comin right up!
Godzilla Kitteh iz afteh u!!
We gonna haf 2 git a beeger catbocks.
i notz cleenin that ting
hey! wun ov mah cowurkerz hadded a sooper ideer, an i tryed it 2. she gotz 3 or 4 kittehs. mahseff, i gotz 6… nawt mah fawlt. dey just comes 2 meh needin a hoam… iz publik serbiss i duz.
ennyways: she (an den i) buyed a kiddel wading pool. putted 80 pounds of kitteh littr in it. da kittehs LURVE dat beeg kitteh bawks. no kiddin. dey walks araoun like dey at da beech. deys digs haffway 2 china. no moar eliminaytin in da rong playce! as in “eliminaytin – ur duin it rong!!!!”
what a kool idea….but where duz yu have enuff room for a pool in yur howse??? Dis sounz berry interesting!
in da basemint.
dang… nao im gonna has anuvver dubble posteh. rasserfrasser. an in a suudonim…
in da basemint.
hou yoo kleen it? Skoop? Flusch? dump? Splane, pleez??? 4 kittehs – I haz em.
I haz 6, but no basement….:>(
U haz displeezed a votur wiff ur lak ub a basemunt.
O teh trajedee.
U gunna go eet wurms now?
plz nawt 2 nom da wurms in mah presints – unlessen u bringed enuff 4 everbuddy.
so. i kleens da gi-normus kitteh bawks wif da scoop. iz klumpin litter. i fink dats da bes, cause awll da peepee smell go wif da klump. also, dis kitteh bawks so big, dey doan fites ober hu go where wen sumbuddy els r goin in da same bawks, blah-blah-blah.
funneh fing: iz cheeper 2 buy da kiddel swimmin pul. srsly. cost lesser dan a “reel” kitteh bawks!! izzat kwazeh or whut??
a vet tek at mai vets obfic dus dat to. So I tries it-i has 7 kittehs-i has 2 of da wading puls. Day is da smaler ones-3 feets or so. werks perty gud.
Ez ixsillint idea! I haz a fren what purchissed a horse trough – ez 8 foots long, but onne 2 foots wide. She haz 5 kittehz en sez it werks well. Iz less a space prollum too also since iz a mite eezier to put a long thingy ‘gainst deh wall.
horseh trouff?? mah hed reelin… rnt dat hevveh? i singel, so nobuddy halp meh carreh da fings up an daown.
I fink wez gonna put the LitturMayde garrantee to teh test.
or gets free replaysement wen it breakz
Mah kitteh iz so beeg…
we has 2 buy gushi fud in teh instatooshanal size.
I can has Cosco membership for buying of indu-insti-reely, reely big cases of gushi fud and 10 KG baigs of kitteh litr?
… teh vet hadda use a table saw to nooter him.
OUCH!
Is ok: vet gived kitteh elebenty-fourteen units of anisth… annastet… sleepy-drugs first.
Then stitched up woond wif steel cables after.
aynd theb we gets tractah traylah to drags sleeby drugged kitteh home
but wutd dey do wif… howd dey get doez… dids deh need two whoel… um… futbol teemz… i fink mabey nevar mynd.
Dude. Sisyphus.
Sisyphus?!?1 I ez alwus stunned to mah toezez wif deh arcane referensis. WINWINWIN!
… when she purrs, teh peepls at teh areport call to complane about teh noise.
we needz n SUV to brings her 2 teh vet.
… we hadda hire a hunchback to ring teh bell on her collar.
WOW – I luvs dis one! Kwazi!
Me to! Mai fave!
GENIUS
… we hasta buy catnips by teh bale.
we hafta uze a sirkular saw 2 trim hims nails.
… we scoop out his litterbocks wif a backhoe.
stop u killin me! lolz
… she’s a XLolcat
WIN
ALL POSTS ABOVE FTW!!! Photo & these comments gave me a much needed laugh!!!!
lcb…yu sur are on a roll todai!! LOL
On a roll? I is not a cheezburger! Noooooo! They be survin’ me wif a side of frys!
(But thx COL!)
snappy come-bak….yu haz it!
an a diet pepsi.
on a roll?
don’t get butter on ur butt.
Then yud at leest know which side yur butt was breaded on.
der’z a “buttard kat arraye” joek in heer sumwher
we uze a beeg bloo bukkit fur a water dish.
ahem… xcuse meh…
*walks ober 2 lolrus*
*whispers*
‘mister lolrus, we bleeve we mite has finded ur bukkit.’
Gud luk gettin it bak.
Nah. lolrus be having bukkit loss support group . . . he no need bukkit no moar!
… Paul Bunyan wants to ‘dopt him.
we has to uze a hay baler 2 git teh cat hare off teh couch.
Mai favrite – remines me of mai haus!
… she leaves dead capybaras on mah pillo.
FTW!
*pain**pain**pain*
z0mg, stop – mah braynz, i has laffed dem out!
Teh flying buggs can neber gets awai.
she buys inshoorance frum teh Komodo Dragon.
She buys inshoorance frum teh Komodo Dragon.
(WP – doan U dare duble post dis…Aye wated long tiem…Aye gabe U ebery chance to post teh furst won.)
Is ok that this posted twice. It was double-funny!
LOL!
I laf at u……I mean……WIF u
)
… she says “i can has mcdonald’s franchise?”
O, kitteh, u IS a McDonald’s Franchise.
she uzes a peacock ana 2×4 az a fethur toi.
Izz *terribul* hau ai laffins at dis! WINWINWIN…
… her kibble is delivered by Sisyphus
U WIN!!! U also Rock!
DIS shuuda gone heer – ALL Deese posds FTW!!! Thankx 4 much needed laffs!
Thx Romeow. U is a wurthy advars… anniversary… adventure… U is worthy.
I’m nawt worthy.
*genewfleks to LCB Wayne’s Whirled style*
genewfleks…lol!
Charybdis sez “pbbbbbt!”
All da sailors run aways now!
But… if Sisyphus delibber teh kibbles, Kitteh nebber gits dem.
(But I still gibs yu a hundretty bajillion cheezburgers fur dat commint!)
When kibble starts rollin back down teh hill, kitteh noms it up.
That way is fun for kitteh, nootrishus for kitteh, and not so frustrating for Sisyphus.
Win-win-win!
Well, maybe not so much win for teh kibble, but u see mah point.
kitteh IS teh hil.
Ai sleep curled up on HIZ chest!
Ai sleep on HIS faes!
Rebenj is sweeeet!
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
argh wp! this is pittypat. . .
we has 2 drane lake eree 2 fill hiz wadder bole.
… he maded me a cookie but it eeted ME!
…an den Sobyet Rusha fr dizzert.
oshun lebel rised ate inches wen kitteh go fur a swim.
noo hole in teh ozone affer kitteh pooted.
nots tu menshun dis… http://www.science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/11/08/1340207
Teho – Aye kant stop laffin. Hao long U hab dat won in ur bak poket?
*gits tishu n wipes teers frum face*
“what kind ov object maed the crater.” !!!!!!??!! O halp – ai can’t breethe!
(can be r liddle sekret)
yup.
catfart.
is jus from dis moarnin on Slashdawt, akshuly. is saran dippy toss.
… we grooms her wif a pitchfork
tink teh Epcot iz a sparkelball
wel $#!%, i finks dat too.
HAU BEEG IZ IT!!??
I misses dat sho.
HOW MUCH DO YOU MISS IT?
*pawnderin luuk*
nawt dat much ackshully.
she registurs 6.2 ona Riktur scale ebery tiem she jumps off da couch.
… Donald Trump wears kitteh’s koffed-up hairballs as a toopay.
Taht splanes ebery fing.
haaaaark…
dats awful – - awfulleh funneh!!
… we hadda cover teh Sears Tower in carpet for kitteh to use as scratching post.
(Hay, guise? Srsly, I think I needs a intervenshun here.)
Finish strong, LCB! U still need posts fur bunneh kicks n happeh feets.
Cum on…affer the Sears Tower n teh capybara posts,
U can do enny fing!
Go LCB, Go LCB!
Can I helpz?
… NASA uzez bunni kiks for spaceship launch
Eben NASA iz goin green!
We mite hab a prolem ifs kitteh tries to bat it outta teh sky affer teh launch.
*takes deep breaf*
*jogs in place for a minnit*
(cue “Rocky” music)
… we has to send her through carwash to get groomed.
… it takes entire footsball team to snorgle her belleh.
… when she does happy feet on ur bed u get seasick.
… she bunneh-kicked a toy and it maded a new crater on teh mooon.
That’s it. I’m spent. I can’t do no more.
VICTORY GOES TO:
L O L CATBURGLER!!!!
Todai will go down n teh histree buks.
Yeers frum nao, we will awl rememberz whare we waz at dis moment.
We will tellz owr grankittehz bout it.
Wen we axed LCB to finish strong…none ov us new jus hao strong LCB reely waz.
Paws tegebber fur LCB
*Rocky musik grows louder*
*reluctantly comes out of locker room to acknowledge applaws*
*is pushed by cheering cheezfrenz to take a victory lap*
*runs for two and a half feet of victory lap, stops*
*turns around 3 times*
*curls up on track, ignores lowd Rocky music and cheering cheezfrenz*
*takes victory napzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Well dun.
*comes running out wif sponges, buckit, towels. ..but too late*
*but no orinjis – will not poisyn u”
Injoy well earned rest. Much win!
Ai stend n AWE. Dis soooo muuuuch wiiiin! n awesum.
2 troolu grate contendaz
ai iz PRVZ…PRIBBL…GLAD ai wuz hier 2 witnizz!
Ai tink ai muss retyre fr teh feeld.
Brava!!! Brava!!! Deer frend lcb – Ai am so prowd ov u. Nawt wun in ten thousand cud do taht.
Plz to be givin props to mah grate and wurthy uponnent, Romeow, who initiated teh thred and brang along Komodo dragons and stuff.
*Pours lolgatorade over Romeow’s hed*
..we gots kompeting bids from bass violin manufakurs
(but we no akcept offers. tempted, but no.)
she bunneekik buffaloe, an teh buffaloe givs in!
her ID tag in teh Rank Studio gong
…that when she lays around teh howse, she reely lays AROUND teh howse.
naow derz a clasik. also kitteh has her own ‘nipcode.
nah, kitteh has juss folloed teh yello brik rode 2 vizzit teh munchkynz.
[much nom]
Teh Munchkins is reely most sinceerly et.
not onny meerly?
big cat is too big
One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small…..
O hai, I eated funny pill.
wuz it red?
Do U wish U wudda eeted teh bloo won?
I can has Barry Bonds kitteh?
Teh cream an teh clear, I has them. Doan noe wut they r, tho.
Mebee itz flaxseed oil frum Marion Jones?
eben marion Jones’s ex-hussband not so big as dis kitteh
marion jones’s ex-hussband shot put wiff dis kitteh’s terds?
barrie bonnz, eet ur hart owt!
Barrie bonz kitteh sez “what groff hormone???”
I had sum hoomans….but I skwished dem.
OMG…that was hilarious!!
dis sownds liek a Simpsons opning credits sekwense… run in, git skquisheded bai teh black kitteh…
iz nowun doin happee furstee nawt secondee danse fur da MisterChief?
Awww sad!
*strapps awn da dansink shoos*
Hmm…fur dis kitteh? Da Monster Mash?
Teh Monsta Mash
It waz a grabeyawd smash
*dansin liek a monsta*
Awlso teh 25th annibersary ov Thrilla.
I noes it! I wuz lookin fur dants an hopin it bee on heer!
I dantses too Mash, an wen finished, I sings, “16 TONS” an dantses too dat.
Congratulations, furstee!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aO45IxvYgo
Tank Yoo! needed me some Tennesee Ernie and didnt even reelize it. Listen to the lyrics. Definitely cattitude goin on.
Monster Mash!!! Grate Danse choice!! (Yes, wuz sad – but we gotted awl tangled up in the “how beeg is teh ketteh.” )
Ai has awn mai dansing shoos nao. Ummm – hao duz “Monster Mash” go?
dis b wonnerland, eet meh!
I wonder – anybody remember the kitteh in ‘The Goodies’ on brit tv? This is its great (great…) granddaughter.
I rember “Teh Goodies” but I donot rember kitteh. Must buy DVDs!
There was giant kitteh in Monty Python that eeted houses. A meezer IIRC.
yes, teh jyant kitteh saved teh wurld frum teh killer cars.
but at wut cost?!
OH MAH GAWD.
U diddun put a postraffy affur teh DVD!!!!
U IS MAH HEERO!
/sick ub dummee ads an signs by cumpannies dat doan know dem tings not possed to hab a postraffy. I not expekks all teh peepuls too no, but cumpannees!!! *snort*
//cheers frum teh sopebox fur ur smartnuss
postrafffy do NOT meen “LOOOK OWT! HEER CUMZ A ESSSSSS”
Banana’s 99 cents.
Banana’s WUT???????
Banana’s peel ub corse. O…u wants teh WHOLE banana? Wai, dat will bee an extra thirtee dollur’z.
Teh uther day I saw a sine that sez, “Welcome to the Jone’s” and I almose stopped teh car to nok on teh dore and say, ’scuze me, are you Mr. Jone?” but I din’t. But teh sad thing wuz that it was a perfeshunul-lukin sine, like they botted it dat way.
Argh.
Naow mah face hurts an I hab teers in mah ais!!
Butt wutt if hee WUZ Mr. Jone?
/falls off chair
hey, Kathleen…??? du’s thi’s mean’s dat’s we dont’s s’spoze’s to use’s s’o menny sssss’es???
Duzz I hab too bring owt teh……SQUIRT GUN agin????
Nao Ai noes Ai iz hoem! Is teh “Greengrocer’s Apostrophe”, cuz tehy do it awl teh tym! See Awlso “Eets shoots an leeves” (supplai oen joek!) by Lynn Truss – Ai red it cuple ob yers ago, wen Ai had to spen tym hangin rown horse spittle waytin rumes. Ebbereewun els awl skeredy an tens, me snikkering an snerkin!
funneh book!
U noe sum spelling nazi is reeding all diz an him/her hed bout too paplode frum teh aggurvating irunee ub deez posts.
Muahahahahahahah!!!!
o wait. It wuz her udder book I red?
hmm
Hay, Kathleen, doesn’t u meen ‘SQUIRT GUN?
gud wun
Kitteh Kong – Goodies ref FTW!
I lubs dat show sooooo much… full of win and awesum and funnehs.
cat-zilla needs a nap.
after nap, he needs cheezburger.
dunt make him wait!
Better mayk it a dubbel cheezburger.
Only wun?
No lieks teh cushons, ‘parently. Arms r okai skritching posts, tho.
(Dis kitteh looks liek mai Dolce, only beeger. She tinks she dis beeg, acshully.)
Gulliver’s ket…roonnnnnnnn lil pushins
Uh-oh. Kitteh finded Stuart Little’s howse.
Burp.
Oh Hai!
I metted yore fambly
Then I eated them
Big kitty is biiiig….horse size, aktully…..*grabs saddle and harness* i has an idea…*mad gleem in eye* hee hee
Careful m_m! Iz afeered to look!
cuz horse-cat has HUGE pointy ends!
but llyan luvs da myoooosik…
doan wurry, flewwdur’z gotz her unda kuntrol…
yes..this was fun for a minnit, but then….big kitty can has big chew toy *bandages*
was totalee worf it. i swearz..
uuuu….him gunna bunny kik u off an nibbul on ur tinee feetz!
Wate till he seez burdy in tree. Yu doooomed.
I can has two bare chesded guyz to wave teh palm frondz ovah me toot sweet k, tks?
ooooooooh!!
much lykes!
Oooh! I can has also? Plz?
me 3…
Your Gr8 Dayn. It hadz a flavr.
butt da koller were 2 kruncheh… pleh.
I’M HUGE!
I’m very big in Japan.
Tonite! Giant Monster Kitteh Live in Tokyo! No wait, don’t run away!
N everwhere else!
MST3K quote FTW! Fum ther spoof of Miles O’Keefe’s bomb “Cave Dwellers”. Kamra ayngles on Miles showd heem as beeg, so rowbts wud yell “I’m Huge!” wen thees sceens wud appear.
I can has 500 cheezburgers?
kitteh needz bigger sofa…
Whut tym it iz wen dis kitteh sitz on your cowch?
Tym to git noo cowch!
Ai worned youze about feeding kitteh cheezburgerz wif BGH katle meet init. Naows seez wut yuz dun!
Hopez dis kitteh is declawed or pointy enz wipe out ur howze!
i’m surprized no wun has menshuned da inappropriiete lodgin of a kleerleh obees kitteh. dis r prejoodis. unbridled lacka consern 4 large kittehs. shokkin. rly.
*dux an runs*
* whut has i did?*
*runs affer jus kiddin wif squirt gun*
*fank gourd it arent da oozeh…*
If teh skwurt gun is full of jello, is it a oozy?
Giant kitteh
eated the Simpsons
Can’t make ugly couch riff, cat will eat me
CAN’T MAKE UGLY COUCH RIFF, CAT WILL EAT ME!
… uzes Egypt az lidderbox. (Arkelogoggical digz? DO NOT WANT!)
dam. spossed to be under “cat so big …” thread.
dats not burried tressure!!
Do… Nawt… Want…
JESUS CHRIST IT’S A PANTHER GET OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM!
stareoid kitteh is outgrowin’ yer haus!!!
next to NOM NOM stoopy lil hoomins
Teh Simpsons apputeaser wuz tastee, butt noa I wunts Carl’s Jr. sicks dollur cheezburga.
Oh, Blast and Buggur.
Sowwwy, Rostov. Yu beeted mee!
i haded a kitteh dat luked jus liek dis one. He wuz bigg too – an sooooo sweet! Jus liek dis one.
one cheezburger makes u larjer
and one burger mayks u small
and da wunz dat ceiling cat gibs u, don’t do anyfing at awl
go ask kitteh, when he’s 10 feet tawl
Jeffersnom Airplolane ref FTW!
[snork] …ya try sayin DAT wen yr ‘nippd.
I thinked of “Jeffersnom Lolplane” a nanosecond after I clicked “add comment”
d’oh
dis kitteh obvuswee eated the cheezbrgr dat maydes himz BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG
“Biff!! I TOLD you we should have gone to the ORGANIC shelter!!”
I has speshul chare
Mighty Mondo Kitteh smiles gentlee at teh littul screemin peepuls, to encurij them to bring offerings.
monster cat, monster cat, what are they feeding you?
monster cat, monster cat, it’s not your fault!
*sing*
It bee teh kitteh’s geens.
Deer lolfrens
Dese haz to b teh bestest, teh funniest comn…commentz ai haz red sinz ai started comin heer!!!. (whish iz onlies 3, 2 months). y’alls so talented. Ai laffted and laffted. iz goona takz til morrows to cleen ups all dis mezz. Butt iz ok cauz nao ai feles so much better. tnks and huggzez for eberbodies.
Kitteh’s geens are too tite.
This funny plus cleva
Dis italian plummer gave me a mussroom!
MONSTER KITTEH! Dis gives me idea…
Lolbberwocky
‘twaz Caturday, and teh lolruses
serchd for teh bukketz in teh wabe
teh borogoves has mimsyage;
deyr doin it rong, I do sai!
“do not want teh Lolbberwock, mah son!
teh jawz dat fink kittehs has a flavor!
do not want teh chikkin bird, and shun
teh groomr—he has shaver!”
“I can has vorpal sord in pawz?”
in serchage he has long tiem serched
so snorgld he bai teh tumtum tree
dreemin of cheezburgers and surch.
And az in cheesy thot he snorged
Teh lolbberwock, wit lazer eyez:
“Oh hai, I’m in ur tulgey wood
Burblin, kthnxbai”
OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?!
Teh vorpl blade goes snkker-snak
(SNAKS, U SAI?!)
Teh wock has dead, and wif its hedd
Teh kitteh galumfs bakk
“And has u killed teh lolbberwock?
Com 2 mah pawz, mah kitteh boi!
Oh cheezburger day! Callooh, k?”
He has chortles in joi
‘twaz Caturday, and teh lolruses
serchd for teh bukketz in teh wabe
teh borogoves has mimsyage;
deyr doin it rong, I do sai!
brilyunt!
Teh Rev’rend Dodgson is loling in hims grayve…
amayzn! UR too clever! gud job!
is mabey jussa litl poweticlee awkwurd… but den agen, it alwyz wuz.
much LOL.
In Sovyet Rusha….
…iz Chernoble kitteh
Kitteh hitz .375 wit runnerz in teh scoring position
Iz nawt fayr! Lolcatburglar en teh Romeow has layd me low wif teh laffings! Come up wif ANUDDER cap? FEH!
I lay mah vareeyus signs en simbulls uv adorayshun before you bofe: many many tishoos frum deh eye-wipingz.
ya, dis be a gud wun. tru nuf.
i wunner how beg teh babies r
This is a link to an x-rated site.
U checked it awt? Shud we luk? Yur advice, pls.