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CPR cat

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picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder, lol caption: Jesse

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195 Comments »

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Melissa

Lifesavin! I had it!
1234 breeeeth!

Melissa

ROOOOBY! NNOOOOOooooooooo
Dawnt stop CPR cat!
Himz wawnt to lib!!!!

It were a ghostee skereded him to def!

NAWT AWN MAH WAWTCH!!
1 2 3 4 brreeeve

SarahD

Remynds meh of teh NipTuck las nyte whar on teh faek dokter show, teh surjun wuz lyke,

TIHS MAN NEEDS A TURNIKET

an rips off his shurt to tie it ohn. But he needs anuthur wun, so he rips off his pantz. Was hilareeus.

 
 
cSmall

tuns hed, supporting neckincaseofinjuries, uses (glubbed if yu has)fingur 2b sure airway is cleer an…

1234 breeeeth
an
1234 breeeeeth
an
ACKACKACckckcackackACK
[sigh of releef]
teddee iz gonna b ok Missus Bear…

343GuiltySpark

iz not teddee. is scooby doo. is goggie.

 
cSmall

sh00t. rly sry Missus Doo. Scoobs is gonna b fyne.
.
.
.
yu can has inshoorans, rite?

conscious cat

OMGLOL sodee popp fliiying frum noez

thisncat

incomin koffee sprayz!!!

 
 
Cottleston Pie

Ow! Sodeepawp in noze mayks mai brayne hert!

 
 
Stevie Wondah

uz mayd mai ibollz git awl tiry n watry frum de skooby dobery doobie soundz yu emulatte wif yo lolwurdz

iz ok, mi eyz they can has drinesss bai teh tymes i bees fineshd dis lolpost

steshka

ai mist teh ‘i’ on ‘ibollz’ reedin tihs innishally. q miskonsepshuns en konfusions.

 
Stevie Wondah

iz kwite ok, i finks awl us stoopy hoomins can has difikilities wif intwerprotating dis kinds uf llospeak pidgin talky

I knowz it can be veryveryquitecontrary kunsumptave uf mai thyme jus too taip mai lolwordz, let al1one read dees awsum phunnies dat awl teh icanhascheezeburgerpeeps shar in de’s postz

 
 
 
 
Ambercat

Ahem, ekscoos me but is nawt “1234 breeeeth” ennee moer - iz 2 korusses ob “Nelly teh Elleefunkel” an tehn breeeeth! Srsly!!

LuvBJones

O noes! I duggno dat won! Howz it go?

Ambercat

Ai sended yu a reeplai an a linkee, but luks lyk WierdPress eated it! If it donut sho up, serch Nelly the Elephant awn yutoob

 
 
 
stend

I don’t think you’re supposed to fingersweep… use something else

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/first-aid-cpr/FA00061

it’s 2 breaths, 30 sec of compressions for adults

SarahD

I work at the Mayo and have heard that many times, so when I see it on TV now with their 1 2 3 4 5 followed by 2 breaths, it completely kills me. Circulating the blood is more important than the breath. It wouldn’t matter, except I know people learn CPR from watching TV.

Dear TV: Get it right. Don’t be killin peeps. kthxbye

/and nao back to ur regewlarlee skejuled loltalk

 
Ambercat

30 secs, oar 2 korusses ob “Nelly teh Elephant”!

onceajinx

Mebbee wun korus uv Jepperdee theem….

la lee la lala la lee la…la lee la la laa…lalalalalala lee la lala la lee la doot! do doo doo doot doot doot. Dat shood be 30 sekunds….

ABC sawng iz abowt 20 sekunds….

 
 
cSmall

iz gud 2 know-ah don lyk spreddin messinf…missins…rong tekniks - tankyoo!

hao menee breths and compreshuns foar Scoobies?

 
 
 
343GuiltySpark

i gives up on tryin to danse, so i will juss throe a coffee partee for yoo. a fursteecoffeepartee. creem? shoogar?

Melissa

YAYAY! we kin gitz awl hoppded up awn the kaffeenees an den
Do TEH TWIST!!!

 
The Crapture

i can has awlimpic puul siezd vat of teh spuresso to git meh threw teh rest uv mai shift?

teh prolawnged bowt of insomnia, i has it, and now i ar alweyz sleepi in teh midlol of teh afturnuun

teh ZZZZ’s, i misses them.

 
 
Eleanor

Ahem.

Second doin’ da Not Second Danz fer Melissa….

*scraping sounds as orchestra finishes warm up*

Teks flowy skert n 1 elegantal hand, gibs oder in hand 2 lubly kaptain n scarlet rag-rehg — ooniform. Moosic starts, is Empereror’s Waltz, jus 4 u!

1,2,3, twirrrrrlllllllllll…….

343GuiltySpark

mai waltzin, le me shoe yoo it.

 
Princess Mu

Dats luveli! Da prince an i shall joyn yoo!

congrats ‘lissa

*twirl, twirl twirl*

 
CrazyOldLady

OMG…teh Waltz???? Is mai favurit….I need a partnur, I need a partnur! Oh….nebber mind…I has teh inbizibul partner, I spoze.
An….wuntoofree, wuntoofree, wuntoofree…..

Kathleen

*hem hem*
wigguls toe arown on floor
looks arown sheepishlee

 
Anukki

Waht a luvverly riseand fall yu has there, COL. Can I taik turnses wit Kathleen> Pls?

CrazyOldLady

Shure! We are all in dis luverlee danse tugether! Pleeze, be mai guest…..

 
Kathleen

OHai dere Anukki!

Pleezed to dants wicchu!

 
 
 
 
 
Eleanor

Clearin’ da hair pawsages!

 
CJ

Giv me bak mah cheezburger sillie goggee!

 
343GuiltySpark

cpr cat leepz into acshun. on hed. por goggie.

medicated_maiden

cpr cat is not cpr certified.

my medical negligence lawsuit, let me show you it.

zski

Duz dis state hav Gud Samareetan Law?

medicated_maiden

dis state can has DETH PENALTEE!! do not want!!

addkittehz

Oh Lord. Nau thingz is just gone too far. Def panaltees for CPR. I’ll take a dime bag o’ Jeebus and an 8 ball of Mohamed!! On Scholarship to Haydeeezz!

 
medicated_maiden

deth penaltee is faor impropor yoose of happipaws on a civilian, can be reduced to snack tiem wiffout cheezburgers if you get nice judge.

 
addkittehz

goggie kwalify as cibilian? i iz skeptikal, but if yoo sez so i bleeves it

 
 
medicated_maiden

all goggies is cibilions. (cat person)

is anyone else trapped in a tiny, freeezing cubical for the day? I live in wisconsin…its MAYBE 35 degrees today…and the heat hasnt been turned on yet. I type to you as of now, scarfed and gloved. (teh little glubs wif only half fingers, so i can still work efficiantly) i just want to cuddle the laptop battree and steal itz nommy heat…

 
addkittehz

sounz very Dickenisan. why dey maes you work like before laber laus? I send u some lubberly Texiz warmf and tekeelahz for insaid firez.

 
SarahD

Yeth, I is trappeded in tiny freezing cubicle. Thankfullee, I has an illegul heetur under mah desk. It be drying owt mah eyebalz, but at leest I cans feel mah feets. For nao.

 
addkittehz

be keerful, they mebe gibs u def panalty foar illeagle heeterz too. We give you allibais tho.

 
CrazyOldLady

M-M….is nice an comforbal in Florida….c’mon down!! We’ll haf a coffee an sit in teh sunnyshine fur awile!

 
Shera(kittehvet)

I’z in Michigan, and we turnded on the heat and thhhp!!! nothing. The heat guy has been here for 4 dayz and still no heat!!

Fortunately, the part of the building where the kittehs stay has heat, my office and exam rooms, not so much.

I broke down and bought new space heaters.

I miss Florida and Georgia. When I married the hubby we agreed to live in NC, but we’z now stuck in MI.

I hate cold weather. I hate no beach. I hate no mountains. I hate lakes too cold to swim in even in the summertime.

Maybe better next week

 
SarahD

COL, I iz in Flarda. But mah offis is kold. Also, I is in North Flarda. Will be in teh 30s tonite!

 
Quitchicken

We begged an begged, an yesstrday da heet man commeth! 2day it be warmz in da liberarrery!

Itz a haapi dai in dis part of WI, eben tho itz cold outsyd.

 
343GuiltySpark

yesh. i livs in shikago. is way way cold. ai keep warmin mai hands on teh top of mai ‘pyooter mahniter. skoot over kitteh, i needz teh warm too!!

 
gascat

wez gotz da heat in mai skool twoday- been ‘plain an ‘plain cause skool been anti artica coold! Soz de fixd us! todais so hot in heer shud be runnin round in be kinis (skarry fout).
woz naos wut tomoro will bring…….

momcat

 
starling

Mail trayning roomz be vurry kold, ebberywun ignoring dres kode and waring fleecus n stuff insted.

 
 
 
stend

CA has good samaratian laws which cover injury caused by administering CPR - I’m at work now, will go ask the hospital admin. if that’s national…

addkittehz

They hangz u fer farting in the wrong direction down here in Bushlandia.

 
JanetCanHas4Kittehs

ai remeber taht - so verree funnee!

And cSmall - hao du you get ur smilee fayce? Lukked at furst liek evil liddle grin - nao luks liek wearin sunglases.

 
cSmall

eh.
ah WANTED a googlol fayce, but ah keeps fergetting hao to do teh mouf.
teh sunnyglasses iz teh 8, teh dash, an teh end parenthesis: 8-)
ah tink teh googlol fayce is teh 8, teh dash, an teh capitlol O: 8-O

i gess we’ll see…

 
 
 
stend

OK: so I got distracted at work, and now it’s hours later

http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Samaritan_law

if you’re reading this, check your local good samaritian regulations, they vary within the US

Ambercat

lettin werk get in teh wai ob ICHC? Shatm awn yu, Stend!

 
 
 
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