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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
HAH! Aw, de poor lil lolruses.
heh lil
happi nawt secod danse fur Opium! mite ah sugest a fan danse?
*danse flutter danse*
Tehr R LOLfrends I’d leik 2 see fandansing 4 me (but onlee ib dehy wanted 2).
As soon as u gets ur next furstee, paws4thot, ai expect lots ov peeple will bee fan dansing fur u!
But fur nao, I join teh Princess in this lovelee fan danse (ai thinks ai am 30 *poof* ai am 30 so awl may watch teh fan danse. Liek the “Memoree” kitteh, ai wuz beyootiful tehn! )
Yu iz still beeyootiful, Janet!
ands dey’r akshuwl WOLRUS lolruses, evin!
Mennee feengz arz mayd 2
B lawst. A shynee Buckitt
iz nawt wun ub dem
Jack.
hi Jack!
whar yu ben?
friends can not be lost
memories biggest bukkit
still nyce 2 see yu!
Yes – yur absinthe has been noted.
Meenz: We git drunk awn yur potree an R green wif envee dat we nawt rite so gud! An yur fairee gud at it too!! LOL! B!
We haz twelv flipper program fur rekuvery
1-admit to powerl.. lack of power
2-ceiling kitteh is greater power
3-ceiling kitteh can help
4-admit te having problem
5…
I was in one of those holistic/alternative bookstore places, I found a book on Religious Addiction. I wonder if this is a twelve-step process, that involves placing faith in a higher power?
*hummmmmm*
ohhhhhhhhhhh doan gits meh startid. buts dats buhzaklee teh sort of ting dats wud maek PURRFIK senz to… sum peepul. uhem.
yoo hab no idear hou much I laffink rite naw!!!!
elfnugget, joo jus maded mai dai!!!!!!!!!
*giggling*
mai naym iz LOLrus an ai aint used dental produkz foar 3 yeerz, fore munthz, 5 days, 15 hourz an 11 minutz. Ai think thay iz loozing thayr hold awn me.
Hi, LOLrus!
Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob.
elfi, yu tooooooooooo funnee!!
akshully, teh rest of teh stepz as followz:
4. make surching and feerless inventory of howse (to see if bukkit not just mizplaced)
5. admit to ceiling kat, to lolself, and to nother lolrus teh nature of teh bukket
6. became entirely reddy to liv wifout bukkit
7. humbly asked ceiling cat to return bukkit, but only if it is ceiling cat’s will
8. made a list of all lolruses and hyoomins we harmed beecuz we thot dey had stoled our bukkit
9. made direkt amendz to dem
10. continued to take personal inventory of howse just in case it return
11. closer relayshunship wif ceiling cat
12. help other lolruses to rekover
Kristen! dat wuz perfik! p.s…..howz Beela doin?
Uh oh. Mebbe you tinkin uv another Kristen. donut noe any Beela
Kristen, dis iz so perfect, u did a gud thing! Ai iz membr of 12 step program and theze iz da best otter stepz Ai evr seez! Ai hopez nowun is offended by dese…
TYVM for giving mez a smyle 2-day. Ai needs that!
hee hee! sumwun will bee offended – sumwun allays iz. hoomin naichur. can lolruses climb steps? mebee maek dem smallr steps….hafta chaynj everting for everwun nao…
moar offenss. Hee!
ok. if sumbuddy offended, mebbe we awl has agreemint. we makes a chexlist an offended purrson chex da fing closest.
I am offended because this relates to:
___ sex
___ death
___ drugs
___ warefare
___ work
___ violence
___ religion
den 1- we knows dey iz offended. den 2 – we duznt getz da doct- dissert- l-o-n-g postehs an ebn l-o-n-g-e-r- rebutts. den 3 – da wuns as iznt offended can still play an makes jokes.
sound gud 2 ennybuddy?
I was thinking about this yesterday. Simple statements have sufficed before. All that needs saying is “I am offended by (fill in blank with short explanation) Then people can either agree or agree to disagree. If lots of people agree, then Cheez an Tofu can take appropriate action. If not a lot agree, then the case has been stated. Agreement can be “me too” posts or burger votes. Disagreement = silence.
When I was a kidlet, I argued with my brother a lot…. like I was gonna be able to change his mind. Never worked. Now we don’t bother to argue when we know the other’s position isn’t going to change. Saves us time and energy.
fanku, d marie. i fink da best way 2 change sumbuddys mind is 2 let him change it hisseff. if u want to bring peepel on bord wif u – make dem lurve ur cause. den dey gonna JUMP on it cause dey r awll xcited bout it. dat wud b wunnerfull if dis site make a diffrence in da whirrled. if nawt – dis r comedy. just laff an u feel betterer.
howmevver da insultin eech uvvers shud storp. der r so menny causes we cant wurks on dem awll. we can save da wales. or cure aids. or feed da starvin kids. or storp da war. or storp glowball warmin. or — whatevs. butt eech hyooming bean cant b involv in ever singel cause. we onlee got so mutch time on dis plannit, onlee so mutch resorce, onlee so mutch energeh. even if we cud b involv in everfing – we cudden agree on da soluushun!! we picks our causes. an we orta respek da choices uvvers maked.
hope dis r nawt a long wun. uvverwise i luk like a hypok… hippoc… 2-fayce.
OK, LOLers.
I don’t have the attention at this hour to read every post on here so I don’t know if I am being redundant , so apologies.
I have been through a 12 step program. I am an addictive purrsonality, not to mention other stuff.
I SEE NOTHING OFFENSIVE ABOUT THIS THREAD WHATSO-FREEKING EVER!!!!!!
Just kind of wasn’t terribly interested cause walruses don’t do much for me.
LOL.
I just wanted too throw in my two cents worth.
oh ai seez taht tomorry iz nawt anodder dai,
ai haz a wunnerful tymes at ur fine an sillies tea pawrties,
goodbye
win win you win, you ftw, i can’t click the 5 cheesburger enough 4 dis
(p.s. ur all over teh steps! you can has addicshun?
Dis da bukkit losers’ group
Big lolrus say “Mai name r lolrus p tusks n I r bukketloser!”
*Groups say “Hi Lolrus”
Littlelolrus say “I R not bukkit loser. Minez waz blu an sum stoopy hoomin took it!
*Group say “Gotta admit uz got problem!”
Littlelolrus: I gotz problem!! Srsly!! Stoopy hoomins keepz takin my bukkit!
oh hehehe lucee deez was sew funneh!!
liddl lolrus: well, FYNE! ah’ll jus go fyn sum heffalump seelols – tehy’ll unnerstan me!!
(puts hedfones wif Evanesense on an stowomps owt)
LAWL!! omg! Juz wayt ’til liddl lolruz dazkovurs stairwae to hevvin. Him be lyk ZOMGZ DIS NOO SONG IZ TEH WIN!!!! LOL
–E
I haz prawblem. Dehr R 3 blu bukkits in dihs offis, and nun ob dehm R mien! I not noze wehr dehy komz frawm, an dehr R no LOLruses lib neer heir eidah!
paws4thot, iz okai tu admit ju has compulsiv bukkit theft problm. Ju is amung frenz. Denile of teh teevin is nawt helpin ju in teh lawng term. Ju needz to accept taht ju has dun tihs an we can help suppawt ur rehbil…. rhubbbli… rehabal… gettin bedder.
But still, wan bukkit – waah!
yu can gives paws4thot a cawl, mebbe?
Hai thar, mah nayme is t3h Bowbz
Eye lawst mah bukkit wen a widdle gurl stowled it prom me
at nite, I kan stil see bukket sumtimez
Hai. Iz a lolrus an iz a buhkit-hollic…
Dat pic offendz mee az a lolruhz, a bukkit-lozer, end a groop!
Hi, my name is lolrus…
Hi, Lolrus
youze bukkit wuz bloo tew, huh?
i kan has KONSIPRUHSEE?
omg dem wuz abBUKKted!!
teho, teho…
*ahmayzed at de geenyooseetood uv u*
careful, careful. Nawt to much prayse. Teho iz moast modest and wishes to bee verree. . .
verree. . .nawt in teh limelite.
DARN!! DURN!! Ai totallee mised teh obvioous!!
He purrfurs to keep hiz geenyooseetood hidden under a BUKKIT!!
Please, give to the lolrus “I can has bukket” campaign.
Thousands of Lolrus’ are born every year, without their own bukket. These lolrus need our support.
Help a Lolrus find his bukket today – donate generously.
Call 555-LOLRUS to donate, or visit your nearest ice-floe.
Just a few pennies a day can make a difference in the life of a bukkitless lolrus.
I donait menny cheezburgers to teh “I can has bukkit” campane.
Um… duz lolrusses liek cheezburgers?
I finks dey prefer fishburgers
“Mai name be LoLly … an I be a bukkaholic.”
“Hai, LoLly!”
“I needz to share … mai bukkit; ah mournz it …” *begins uncontrollable sobbing … three Lolruses getz up an they has a group hug* (((HUG)))
(P.S. I not be making fun of 12 step programs ‘cos they are very GUD tings wot helpz manee manee peeps! So yay for 12 steppers! I admirez u…)
“I keepz a diaree, um, abowt mai bukkit… Dae 54: wuz yu red? wuz yu bloo? I kannot ritely ramembur, an’ dat zkars me.”
Toss in a blue bukit and watch em brawl.
Fangs fr all ur suport, mai frens!
Tusk, tusk.
Teh funneeze they doan gotz me…PASS. Big fat lolrus jes reminz me I gotz to go ona dyet ana hab mai teef kleened…..gggrrrruummbbblll
Uhhhh…. Doez piktorz of kittehs ramind yu dat yu needz to shaev?
Juz askin’. Followin’ to logikul konklushin.
hahahah u maked me gigglez. No they reminds me I gots to go to teh storez an getz kitty litterz for teh kittehs ana goggie….
oh gud, I ‘frayd it sowndid kinna bizitchy, u kno, kuz it eerlie in moarnyng. LOL
ah, pleh, I shud buyz teh kiti litur, too.
Iz okey; I iz mail, & I awlwaiz needz 2 shaybe. Kittehs tink mai leccy shaybur is nawt so grate ackshulee tho, and hydez wehn I uzez it.
iz lyk a vacyoom fur yer fayce, no?
i’d run too…
Iz moar liek a buzzy cutty ting. Kwieter dahn teh Whobr, but in a hyer key.
I tink maybee kittehs hydez koz I awlwaiz offr 2 shayb dehr wiskers neckst.
nawteee!
Lolcats aside, I checked out your blog… I’m glad there are people like you in this world! All the best to KB
o thank you!!!!
Him is right now in my anatomy class with me, sitting politely on the chair next to mine. I can has show’n'tell!!! lol
and NOOOO he’s not going to be part of my anatomy lab!! That’s why the Karmic Balance – the OTHER kitty with no tail is my anatomy lab.
–Elfi
da goggie has da kitty litterz?
dat onleh cuz dey dun labul eet doggeh littur yetz…
Actuallly, there IS a “puppy litter”! My wife (the Breeder) yoosed it with on littter. When growed up, all puppups wer almost(?) IMPOSSIBLE to housetrane!
Seemed liek a good idee at the time…
Coincidennce? may be, may be knot…
Mai goggie thinks him isa kitteh. Him use teh letter boxes. Pretty kool akshulee. Doan hab to walk himz so muches…
dat would be a vury beeg lump of letter tu skoop!
Plz tu keep ur goggeh awai from mai letter box – goggeh poop in mai mail? DO NOT WANT!!
isnt the original lolrus ded?
Teh lolrus iz immor… immro…
He libs furever.
Yes. RIP Lolrus. But he was dead for 2 years before we heard about it here.
Yes. Himz finally kickeded teh bukkit.
sad fing iz he kicked da bukkit after dey dun stoled it!!!
(doctorcat, u so funneh!)
And a seal. lulz.
wo. i fot dey wuz smaller dan dat an fuzzeh an wite.
k. we needs xpert on da mareen aminals.
Lolrus grupe hugging
Shud never get owt of hand:
U’ll poke an aye owt!
…butt for naow, is stil all funs an gaems.
The Christmas Story” ref FTW!
Okays, I gotsta ask… what is FTW?
itz meanz “for teh win.” like bery much awsome
I used to think it meant “Fut the whuck”, kind of a reverse of WTF.
Either way. LOL
AI originallee thot it wuz whut u sayed, butt teh W wuz fur whirled – dint maek enee sense in context at awl. Nao ai knows to luk things up!
I thawt it was f*** the what? hehehe
I yoosta fink it ment “for the world”. Maeks simylar kinda sens.
Lolrus… teh only aminimal taht kumz with hiz own kanopener.
Tink uf teh gushyfud oppertuoonities!
‘Member teh LOLpic wif teh capshun “Fail” taht had a kitteh wif coller hoo cudnt git tu himz fud?
I tink LOLrus wud hav teh saem problim wen he yoosed tusk tu opin kan ov gushyfud.
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/02/26/f-a-i-l/
hehe!
nyce tieback wchuck!
Ai never saw taht!! thot ai had goan back – but guess nawt. Butt – hoo r awl those peepl and whar did they go?
Ai can awnlee echo almoast everywun thar – “POOR KITTEH!”
Bukkit anonimouse.
teh pink elefant of lala-land is no more… now we have blue bukkits of lol-land
i heerz Elaine tawkkin: i dunno how u guise wawk aroun wif doz thingz
Seinfeld ref tawtally WIN!
oh hai iz in yer supprt grp…gibbin all dah recuvreez flashbakz…
kumpleatly OT, but…
Paging Stend!
I goed 2 a membrship wayrhowse lass nyte (wont say wich wun) en at teh chekowt owr kasheer wuz a man wif lotsa eeringz en um…how 2 say dis? he wuz kynda ladeelyke in himz mannerizmz. I reeded himz naymtag, en it sayd
“CHAZ, frunt end attendint”
…insert joke heer!
mai mourning, let me shoe yoo it.
i’m rite der wif ya, buddee.
oh nooooo i cannoh beleev i dun loss bukkit!
calm down ebberybodee. now plz to be finishin yor art therapee projecks.
I’z not onlee teh prezuhdunt ov teh Bloobukkit Klub 4 Lolruses…I’z awlso a clyunt.
iz poaster foar teh noo Robert Rodriguez/ Quentin Tarantino flik:
Nyte ov Thee Myootant Slug Vampyrez: Bukkitz ov Blud
Note to da oysterzez:
Iffen u seez wun ub theez guyz wif a carpintir, DO NOT FOLLOWZ DEM!!1!11!
Alice in Wonderland ref FTW!! I oose to reshite dis poem to newon hoo wud leesen to me…knot bery menee peeplez wud, tho…makeded me sad.
Ai wud lissen. Ai luvs to recite poetree. Hard to maek peeple lissen tho. Ai wunz tryied to get mai famblee to have poetree nites – when everwun wud memorize a poem and recite it? Wuz nawt a grate success, akshullee!
Mai favoriet is Heinrich Heine’s “Die Feindlichen Brueder.” Is very dramatic.
Oben auf des Berges Spitze
Liegt das Schloß in Nacht gehüllt;
Doch im Tale leuchten Blitze,
Helle Schwerter klirren wild.
Das sind Brüder, die dort fechten
Grimmen Zweikampf, wutentbrannt.
Sprich, warum die Brüder rechten
Mit dem Schwerte in der Hand?
Gräfin Lauras Augenfunken
Zündeten den Brüderstreit.
Beide glühen liebestrunken
Für die adlig holde Maid. and meny other verses.
Short storee. The castle on the top ov teh mountain is shrouded in darkness, but in the vallee below, swords are flashing and sparking in the darkness. Two brothers are fighting for the hand of teh beyootiful Countess Laura. The sparks from her eyes kindled the brothers fight – both are glowing, drunk with love, for the byootiful noble maiden.
The brothers, of course, kill each other. Many hundreds of years pass, many generations are now in their graves. The deserted castle castle looks with sadness down into the valley for at night, when the midnight hour arrives – the brothers are down there, fighting still..
Of course – this has nothing to do with LOLruses. Oh, well
Ah noes poetries 2:
In Chicago dere libbed a yung lass….
awsum, jch2k. heine r wun ov mah favrit poets. i likes walther von der vogelweide 2 – butt dats b-e-r-r-y old stuff.
Walther von der Vogelweide has wun of teh best names evar. So much fun to sai! He rite gud poems an moosik too.
Lewis Carroll (or is dat Carrlol?) FTW!!1!!!elebentyone!!!!
Teh sun wuz shinnin on teh C,
Shinnin wit awl hims myt:
Him can did hims veree bestest 2 mayk
Teh billos smoof n bryt–
N dis wuz odd, cos it b
Teh middl ov teh nitey-nites.
Teh moon wuz shinnin sulkily,
Cos her thot teh sun
Had got no bidnes 2 b dere
After teh dai wuz dun–
“Tis veree rood ov hims,” her sed,
“2 com n spoyl teh fun!”
Teh C wuz wet as wet culd b,
Teh catsands wer drai as drai.
U culd nawt c a cloud, cos
No cloud wuz in teh sky:
No birdz wuz flyin ovrhed–
Dere wuz no birds 2 fly.
Teh Lolrus n teh Hoomin
Wuz walkin clos at han;
Dey mounrzd lyk n-e-ting 2 c
Such quant…kwant…maneez catsand:
“If dis wuz onlee skoopd awai,”
Dey sed, “it wood b grand!”
“If 7 maids can has 7 skoopz
Skoopt it 4 haf a yeer.
Does u spose,” teh Lolrus sed,
“Dat dey culd get it cleer?”
“Ai dowt it,” sed teh Hoomin,
N hims cryeded a bitter tear.
“O Oysturs, come n walk wit us!”
Teh Lolrus did b’seech.
“A plesnt walkies, a plesnt tawlk,
Alowng teh brinee beech:
We can has no maor den 4?,
We can gibs hand 2 eech?”
Teh oldy Oystur lukd at him,
But nevr a wurd him sed:
Teh oldy Oystur winkd hims I,
N shuk hims hevee hed–
Meening 2 sai leeve the oystur bed – DO NOT WANT!
But 4 baybee Oysturs hurryd up,
Awl eagr 4 teh treetz:
Thems cotes wuz brushd, thems faces washd,
Dere shoos wuz cleen n neet–
N dis wuz odd, cos, u noes,
Dem has no feets.
4 ovver Oysturs fawlod dem,
N yet anudder 4;
N thick n fast dey caym at last,
N more, n more, n more–
Awl hoppin thru teh frothee wayvs,
N scramblin 2 teh shor.
Teh Lolrus n teh Hoomin
Can has walkies 4 a myl or so,
N den dey restd awn a rawk
Conven..Konveen…veree ez n lo:
N awl teh lil Oysturs stood
N waytd n a row.
“Teh tym has come,” teh Lolrus sed,
“2 tawlk ov manee tings:
Ov shoos–n ships–n Ceilingcat-wax–
Ov cabbijus–n kings–
And why teh C is boiling hot–
N whevver pigs can has weengs.”
“But wayt a bit,” teh Oysturs cryd,
“B4 we can has our chat;
4 sum ov us is owt ov breth,
N awl ov us is teh fat!”
“No hurry!” sed teh Hoomin.
Dey kthxbai him much 4 dat.
“We can has bred?,” teh Lolrus sed,
“dat’s wut we cheeflee needs:
Pepper n vinegar besydz
Is very gud indeed–
Nao if ur redee, Oysturs deer,
We can begin 2 nom-nom-nom.”
“But nawt on us!” teh Oysturs cryded,
Turnin a lil bloo.
“Aftr such kindness, dat wuld b
A dismal ting 2 do!”
“Teh nyte is fyn,” teh Lolrus sed.
“Do u admyr teh vyoo?
“It wuz so kynd ov u 2 come!
N u is veree nys!”
Teh Hoomin sed nawthing but
“I can has anover slys?
I wish u were nawt kwyt so def–
I’ve had 2 aks u twice!”
“It b a shaym,” teh Lolrus sed,
“2 plai dem such a trik,
Aftr we’ve brot dem owt so far,
N maded dem trot so qwik!”
Teh Hoomin sed nuffin but
“Teh butterz spred 2 thik!”
“I weep 4 u,” teh Lolrus sed:
“I deeplee symp…simp…unnerstenz.”
Wit sobs n teers him sortd owt
Dose ov teh larjist syz,
Holdin hims tishoo
B4 hims streemin eyez.
“O Oysturs,” sed teh Hoomin,
“U did has a pleasunt run!
Shal we b trottin hoam agin?’
But ansur caym dere none–
N dis wuz scarsly odd, cos
Dey’d nom-nom-nom-nommed ebbry1.
Patrick I applawd ju an hope taht ur awfiss has a bery liberul pollycee awn privit use of teh innernet jurin awfiss hours.
howly craps, dat tuk sum effart!
[UHPLAWS]
Ai think u r receiving a standin O fur this wun, Patrick. This is wun fur r historee/literachur colleckshun. Hoo’s in charge ov that?
R there enuf ov us nao to – wud a collekshun ov LOLcat poetree sell? Teh pawsibilities r dazzling!
Fank yoo 4 teh com…kom…niec fings bein sed. Ai instanlee thot ov “The Walrus And The Carpenter” pome wen ai sawed teh comment abov. Ai has nuffink 2 do ryte nao so ai has teh tyme 2 do eet. It wood taek sum tyme but ai betz we can awl do lolcat poetree. Just has 2 taek a pome n translayt 2 lolcatspeek.
AI fink dis is mah sekund or fird 1. Ai rememberz doin Silverstein a wyl bak n Eliot as well. Ai can has histree ov commentz? WordPress apprentlee dont do dat.:(
Patrick, ur AWESUM! Wun of myn fav’ryte poems that Daddykitteh used to say to uz when we wuz bebekittehs. Ur vershun is amazyng. Alzo, u haf 2 much tymes on hanz! LOL!!!
TYVM for teh lolversion; Ai iz emailing 2 myze 82 yr young daddykitteh; he wil lubs it!
vry vry gud!
ov coawrse yu can has nu job, rite? so not 2b worried aboot yer tyme at tihs wun?
No…I no has teh nu job. I turnd dem daon. Nu job wuz salez job. Salez is teh pleh. DO NOT WANT!!!!!! Dey claym nawt salez job but I sees thru dere lyz. Ebbryting teh manijer wuz speekins sounded liek salez.
Oops…I hitted teh buttin 2 soon…I hurd frum mah currnt boss dat dey sed we cood stay xtra yeer. Yay!!!! I still has mah job/bukkit for hole nudder yeer!
awsum 4 da job. awsum 4 da pome.
glad u getz 2 keeps da job in wun yeer, mebbe fings wurks owt, an u keeps it anuvver yeer.
(i duznt du gud sales neever, so in unnerstands ur dillemmm- delem- prollem.
*stannup n saloo choo*
*hold up teh lyter wit 1 hand*
*finger an tumb uv utter han in mouf 2 wistle reel loud*
Verrr nyce!
Ful uv win n awesum!
ur lolspeek iz teh bestest…
Bring teer 2 mai eie.
I’m so ronery [witout ma bukkit]
‘I work rearry hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems like no one takes me serirousry
And so I’m ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me’
Afturr being shpotted staggerings about Hollywood wifout a bukkit,
Lolzy Loh-rus, teh Lindsey Lohan of teh lolrus wurld,
is wunce again bakk in teh rehab.
Sumfink tells me not furr teh last tyme, either.
Lolrus convenshun 2 chuz lolrus prezidentshul nomenee hu be promisin
blu bukkitses for lolruses evrywhere
and universal dental carez too
one day there will be bukkits for all lolruses.
it makes me want to give bukkets 2 all teh lolruses in teh real world. maybe we can has charity?
stepz 13. nebber splain
“thurteen stepperz” iz kind of insulting referance in Program. Sum guize come two meetinz to pix up chix, not two help or be helped or work program, or ennyting. Takes advantage of wimmns already in vulnera….volum…sensitive state. DO NOT WANT 13 stepperz.
This is just priceless. Thanks for posting this, I laughed until my sides hurt.
i luvz dis lolrus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*_*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!besides,iz mah job!!!-_-
I can has joinage?
Bukkit? Is that the bukkit..
Nantucket!
LOL poor lolrus he can haz bukkit, no?
I can has link to original bukket pikture? plz k thnx