I r not suprized…
U HAZ NO GIRLFRIEND.
Soooo, where u be tonite? Hot date?
photo: dunno source, via our lolcat builder capped and submitted by: Daniel
« Previous The View | lalalalala Next »
» 114 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
zippythepoet on CATS WHO STARE AT JAJEH on CATS WHO STARE AT HissyFit on CATS WHO STARE AT catena on CATS WHO STARE AT JAJEH on CATS WHO STARE AT gremlin on CATS WHO STARE AT localoba81 on Can u see da cute now? Duffy on CATS WHO STARE AT booklion on CATS WHO STARE AT annipuss on CATS WHO STARE AT two_kittehs on CATS WHO STARE AT sawa on Can u see da cute now? gremlin on CATS WHO STARE AT honeycakerabbit on CATS WHO STARE AT PoussinBoi on CATS WHO STARE AT 
Cheezburger Network Blog
Bebbehsittah cat iz rezyned 2 hewmileeayshun.
In relayted inqwiree, hoo here speeks alowd 2 dere kitteh in lolspeek? F’r instins, wen I vizitz mah bebbeh Rasta (she libs wif mah Mum, coz I no can has kitteh-friendlee lyfestyle rite nao) an shez eeting hur gooshifud, I asks ‘does dat haz a flayvor?’ an Rasta iz mush amuzed. Mum finks I iz mad, howebber.
I tri lolspeak wiv kiteehs but dey no amuzed, hav look of disdain…
Dogglet finks itz best ting eber! But den, he finks dis bout evrything…
Congrats danzt fur yew!
I seed your “No comments” and I frozen in panic… Acktuallee thought computa was borked…
I am actually pretty sure that my in-person conversational speech has become nothing but a collection of internet memes. I routinely use “I has a ….” or “I can has….?” in common conversation. I have exclaimed, when someone asked “Have you purchased the textbook?” “Yes! I can has that! It has flavur, is pleh. I no has a munny nao. Is not so grate, akshulie.”
What’s amusing is that I pull it off with such confidence and natural ability that they really don’t notice how utterly flawed the grammar is.
Yoo, elfi, iz da consoomit lolcatter!!!
I speek it to hubbe, an fren hoo speek it gud too, an sumtiems in da comeekbuk stor, but I dun git owt much…..
I speek in udder meems too! It Sparta, Respeck ma awforitay, Yoo suk an dats sad, shooz, etc etc
But Aye liv in Holleeweerd, we esspectid to speek in meems owt heer, iz natyv langwidj!
I speeks to mah mumma’s kitteh Willow in lolspeak. Dis not mad. Wen Willow tolks too me in lolspeak, den I mad.
Den, …..uhoh
Dances “madlee”
*danse danse danse*
Ah tawk tew mi kittehs awl da tyme.
ah sing sawngs and somtimes talk in lol speak, but mostly i just tell em hao purti and sweet an wonnerful dey r. dey meow back an wi has veri lively conversations!
mi roomate says ah am raising arrogant cats : )
arrowgaynt kittehs……is red…ridun…sayin same fing 2x, no?
I jus moobed howse. Wenebber odder haf finded money wen kleering up, she goed “I finds a money!”. She nebbur finded BIG moneys, tho. Pitteh.
Ai guess dat I haz tu do alla teh twirrlin in a sirkl bai maiself???? **twirl, twirl, twirl, twirl**
(oooh, gotta stop nao…I dizzee)
ahi COL,
ai getz obber der an danwsez wit choo….
ai shall doo mi dawnse ob joi…
*tippee toeses tippee toeses ,
twurl ina sircle
bowow to yer pawrtner
awl fallz downz!!*
dat wuz funnnn !!!
ai haz 2 sitz daown noa…..gettin 2 ole 4 dis….
FAnkoo foar mah card. U r vary sweet!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I feels lil better…
Dese past 2 monfs has nawt been gud foar me helfwise.
Kitney stones an noaw dis.
But mah lolfrens maek me feelz betturs!
Aye lykt da purree parts!
Aye hope yoo cushy an cumfee too!! Wif menee kitteh frenz to nap wiff, dat meks nappin so mush beddar! Dey eckspert nappers, an kin sho da way to gud helf!!!
(huggs)
oh. Dis make mee so happee. I glad u fown teh card, Melissa!!!!!!
She no looken rezyned to me. Moar like “I warns you! One moar and you feels my poyntie ends.”
Sowwy for your not can have kitteh! I’m usuelly talking baybietalk to mine. Ksept when theyre being nowtie and I’m tellen dem off.
Weeplays dose taigur, fwog, karr, n udder fingz I no wekoggnaiz, wif yooneevurcitee tekstbuks, n u nawt surpwize I haz no kitteh. I r hear awn ICHC f’r pweeleemeenuree pwepuhwashun, lernnin lolspeek, soe I cans b wis… weesponsuh… gud ownurr lyk yoo f’r muh fyoochur kitteh, Grimbling (nawt shurr hear – duz we speek nayms in lolspeek two?)
wurse dan dat. ya, speek to da kittehs an da goggie in da Lolspeak. Also tu da cow-orkers, da boifrend, da frenz……
Not so grate, ackshully.
Mai boifren seez how much tiem Im spendin on ICHC and startz to talk to ME in LOLspeak…. he jus wans attension…awww…
Well, skritch behin homs eers, mebbee rub hims tummee an send him to chays a ball… Sum bois is liek goggees. Awl esited ober car rydes an balls an meet an uvver goggees. An chaysin tings an bein essited ober obscyoor an weerd stuff, an purtectiv an warm to snurgle.
Yep, sum men R dawgs! LOL!
yesh – I haz a penchant for recitingz teh lolspeak to my kittehs. they pretend they don’t unnerstand – but they luffs me anywayz.
evurybuddy else thinks I iz strange and they be surprized that I do haz a boyfriendz!
Btw – let me congratulatse you on not being second … I will do a danse for you
twirl twril danse danse
danse danse twirl twirl
I duz – akshulle – I uzes both English and lolspeak. I thinks tehy lieks the lolspeak, fur is usuallee accompaneed bai snorgles and skritchees.
This seems to be teh dansing playce – so I joines in.
Seems appropreeate to do the kittee danse.
Cat – I’m a kittee cat
and I danse danse danse
and I danse danse danse (whoo hoo)
Cat – I’m a kittee cat . . . to the left * hop hop hop hop hop hop*
to the rite * hop hop hop hop hop hop*
liez down – luks kyoot
Ai use teh English, the babeh tawk n LoLspeek wif teh kittehs. Dey no cayre wat ai says so lawng as der b fud in teh dish, water in teh bole n muches snorgels n tummeh rubz.
Manfred does dans for fud – so ai do it heer:
Jyump on cownter – meow – jyump down – meow – Jyump on cownter – meow – jyump down – twirl, twirl, twirl – meow – twirl, twirnomnomnom!
Oh! de kittehcat danse! I luffs it! But gives me earworm evrytime
Iz der an ayeewurm too? I gets dat!
Cat *ding* Ah’m a kitteecat!
But whuts he sayin in dat uvver lawng drawn owt part after dat? I kin nebber unnerstan da katterwallin he mayks den!
Wen Aye had da helfee an had ma kittehs Aye wood tawk boff ways to dem. Sumtiems I keerfullee essplayn ting in reglar tawk so dey unnerstan, liek why iz bad to go owtsied an play in traffic, R why da manager hadda come into da apartmint, an nawt be afrayd wen he duz, R why de vet iz good ting.
An den Aye wood also tawk sweet an lurve to dem, an dey gibs me da luvvy scrunchee eyeses uv luv. R wen we playin, Aye say git da ball, R wheres yor toy. Dey good smrt kittehs, dey awlwayz ansur me.
Willem esspeshullee, he wood run to greet me wenevver Aye comed in da door, meowowowin. Den he PLOP down an roll ober awl keyoot, he so happee hims mummee home!
Mostlee Aye jus tawk to dem liek dey unnerstan me, an dey nebber let me down! Aye polite, an say esscyooz me R sorree ef Aye needed ta move dem, an say plz an tanks an Aye lub yoo.
I lubs dat song
i haz begun the lolspeeks to my kids as well as kittehs. it jes kinda fallz out da mouf.
my kids are lukking to get me a nice white jaket what buckles in da baak wif da shiney gold buttins.
i tole de i want silver. much purtier color.
and dey might get me nu wallspaper – nice and soft and fluffy and rubbery!
my kids lub me.
danzez too tho i falls alot.
jus so long az de wall papers nowt yellow!
any peeps here reed da story?
O yea, skeery stuf!
I iz Engleesh major. Reedz dat spookeh storee liek ebry semezter. Iz not so spookeh after reedin it fitty tiems.
Speek lol, wen u speek luv
Kurt Weill and (wtf!) OGDEN NASH FTW!
I meks up tings fur mah kittehs too say in teh Lolcat… tehy say tihngs leik “mama, u no unnerstan me!!” and den dey slam teh dorr too der beddrums.
Ai has teh loooooooooooooong comberversayshuns wit mai Amber. She verree tawkatif kitteh, lyke teh “Charlie says” kitteh. Ai meks oop her syde of teh comberversayshun too. Ai tawks tu her lyke she a kiddiwink, but a verree clebber kiddiwink!
O yes I alluwaez tawks to mah Gidget kitteh in lolspeak nao. Mah huzban thinx I has lost mah marbulz. He no readz ICHC. Poor bebbeh.
Hoo needz da marbulz, enyhoo?
Nao git bak to Halo 2 an leev me loan.
or . . dares I says it . . .Halo tree?
Ennywun hoo doo tihs tu kitteh iz nawt kool enuf tew hav Halo 3.
Dis Ebay… I lykes!
I speeks to my kittehs in sort of lolspeak… part baybeespeak, part hyooman… an sum Hungarian wurds, coz I has Hungarian friend who teached wurds lyke “pusza” (kissehs).
As soon you not lookin I ebay all dis crap and use munnies for cheezebrgerz!
good wai to be spendes da muneez!!!
you can buys cheezburga on eBay?
FTW!!!!!!1
I allas speeks to mai kiiteh in lolspeak. Lik yous, also some hyooman and sum Eyetalian. He verra smart kiiteh, noes more than me.
teh kittehs be very multi.. lingwalll…. noes lots uv da langwiches… mebbe it be in kittehDNA…
teh jus dontz speek it unless dey has too.
Ai speks 2 mai kitteh (Louie) n pryrate tok. Started long tym ago wen mai sun wud tok 2 r goggie. Ben doin it fur so meny yrs, forgetz it sound weerd. Ai sez 2 Louie: “Aargh! How r ye doin’ ye scurvy knave?” n he purrz n twitchez teh tail..
LOL! Givs him happitayl!! }}} Nao teech him to sit on yur sholder liek sum kittehs liek to do, an yoo da bess pie rat in town!!
One ov my sisers kittehs lubs teh Italian (strange cus wees Iwish), so we alla tyme says to Josie: “Cara mia tia amo” and she purz n gibs us the skwinty eyz. She a sillee one.
Opsy meant to add dat I tink dis translation: For my heart wants you only.
Hmm, Eyetaleeyun iz berree close to naytiv lanwidj uv kitteh, no?
Mia amo…buon giorno….ma benay…. awl gud kitteh sownz!!
An has we awl red abowt kitteh speech? Day kittehs no has meow as a wild part uv speech, dey LERND it TO TAWK TO US!!! Dey unnerstan dat hyooman speech is da noyses, so dey mek bebe noyses to speek wif us, we repson nice, an kitteh is reinforst to do it agin, an we R also!!
Plus, da goggees kin make 8 vocal sownz, but kittehs has liek 200!!
Yoo jus googl da “cat speech” R “cat language” an menee articls R der to reed!!
Szervusz, AllyBally. Hagy vagy ?
Szia, cheshirepat!
Kosz jol es te?
(Pleeze not gives me long anser… she no teeched me meny wurds yit… will get confooseded)
Wut? No Hellow Kitteh? Collectshun not kompeet!
dere is two a hello kitteh! iz lukin at ju wif a luk o’disdane…
Goodluck putting teh cat humerleeayshun ears on that one…
they iz for lookin at ….not pwaying wif!! Silly hooman!
But dey nawt in orijunal pakij!!!
TINK UV DA LOLVALYOO!!
Moast uv ma kewl tois R NRFB, dey haz much valyoo, liek da Shrek Dragon, she wurf $80 in da bocks!!!
behold: mah minyuns! i shall rool teh werld!
mwaaahahahaha
geek kitteh simply dunnot kaer.
Lonely George puts his kitteh in an ET Halloween costume and drags him to the cute Beatrice’s house next door, peturbed Ralph the cat promtly hoarks up a hairball on the cute Beatrice’s foot, thereby solidifying Lonely George’s existance in the world. What Beatrice doesn’t know is Lonely George owns a toy factory worth a kabillion dollars.
Moral of the story? Never overlook a gift hoark from the Ralph.
oh! oh! oh!
dis berry punny group!
Puska meens kissehs? How kewl! I call my ketteh that awl da time, cept when I callz her Ms. Mouse, Boo, Wackadoodle, Punkin or Toona Breath. Herz naem be Polly Walnuts.
Mah kitteh has many other names too! Bubby is really named Amy but also, Bubs, Precious, Fatty and Mean Cat. Our Emma is Punkin, Emmy, Baby, Baby Lamb and Crazy Cat.
I have Jellybean and Skittles kittehs
I call Skittles Bebbehkat, snorgleborglebebbe, wumpys, and the mean one dependin on de sircusdanses.
I call Jellybean Sweeteh, bebbehs, handsum and poor baby di the mean one scare you?
We had Jellybean … not secund and him wus a loanley kitteh we thawts so we gots a kitteh frum a reskew wut says the shelter in WV duz not keep da kitteh past thursdays and dat dem don’t feeds the kittehs at all … der is speshul playce in notty-daown-hot-bad peepl-playce for dem peoples what giv kittehs to payces liyk that… So we gots our Skittles and she be tiny an skinnified wiff wurms and fleases an all sad lukin but reel luvvy buggy and purr-makin.
An naow she be fat an happies, par-ee-sait free and mean to Jellybean but I fink der be hoaps cuz she sumtimes liks his hed and eers an dey sumtimes tuch nosses. An den she maykes hedlok wiff her arm and trows him to de grown an he cries an runs awai. An den he cum back an sniff her butt alots till she get mad and hedlox him agin den dey collapse on de dinner rum chayres an sleepz till she pooshes hims off his chayre and steelz it. Iz funneh cuz she is still tiny an he iz a beeg kitteh wiff paws mebbe 2 taimes bigger dem herz.
Dis mayk ekkselent pichur! Mah liddel gurl do not lyke habing her butt sniffed eeder.
Sweet bebbehs! I luz when teh big Kittiez jus whaps teh lil pesterin wunz! It is allus fun, cos the teenie wun allus comez rite bak for mor!
All kitehs have at least 3 names, teh names you giv them, teh names dey giv each other, and teh secret tru name onlee dey know…
wen yoo notice a cat in pwofound meditation
de reezon aye tell yoo iz always da same
hiz mind iz engaged in a rapt contemplation
of da dought of hiz name.
ol possum’s book of practical kittehs!
An yoo shud see da look uv supprize dey giv wen yoo sez der seecrit naym owt lowd to dem!!!
Cuz Aye kin reed kittehs minds. Moastlee fur helff prawblems, an onlee git deep enuff in ma own kittehs minz to git der sekrit nayms.
An Aye onlee got Roscoe’s sekrit naym, an onlee yoozd it a fyoo times. He such a scamp, his secrit naym fit him beree well! (It wuzzint scamp!)
I thot we has agreement. You buy Happy Meal, I get cheezburger, you keep toys and life. Where is cheezburger?
Girlfriend? Dem toys and dekor maek me thinks kitteh has mommy not daddy.
Mommees can has girlfrends.
izn’t tiem u road ur bike to werk at teh eleckturonixz store?
But – oh noze! Ju tooked tehm owt ov teh bocks! Tehy lose mush value.
(40 yr old virgin ref FTW!)
I tole u dis whut happens at nite. U turn off z vedeo gamz, an de carikchurs cum owt an pla. Now watch whut gamez u bai, we don wan thoz gran thewft awto charikchurs be here!
Does I look like a ICHC Monorail Cat to u, huh? Be gone, Tigger! Get offa me, before I call the storm trooper over.
I dun wanna soun mean but I tinks dat “storm trooper” akshooly be’s teh master chief, dun kno whai teh whyte armour tho . . .
nowt shur, but looks more like Halo guy dan stormtrooper to me.
The dude (dudette?) w da body armour and weapon, k
(see ket’s expression)
thanx tho..i iz TOTAL noob to gaming world / character, ‘cepts whut i hear from muh gamer fren.
is okay, I onlee knows cuz ai reads way too many gaming magazines
(okay it jus be wun, and I has stopped, but I does has gamer frens.)
Yoo shood watch Red Vs Bloo, iz BERREEE PHUNNEE!!!!
“Iz nawt pink armur, iz… lite red!”
Deez been tezted fore lead paintz?
o. brutal, dewd.
“… and now I’m going to make sure you never will”
verruh clebbur
an painful.
Speshul Kitteh Set
Sum assimbly rekwired.
I r not a doll!
I r an AKSHUN FYGURR!
Srsly.
w/e mrs. nesbitt…
see iffn we invites yu to da next tee parties.
darjeeling dis time?
Aye’ll eben five yoo a hand!
i haz a haloween dans wif mai boifriend at my college.
Whut yoo go az? Mebbee wayr yoobikwituss secksee kitteh costoom, but put a “speech bubble” mebbe awn a stick, dat sez “Aye kin haz cheezburger? An a beer?”
An mebbe boifren kin be lolrus wif bukkit!
Loney George puts his kitteh in an ET Halloween costume and drags him to the cute Beatrice’s house next door, peturbed Ralph the cat promtly horks up a hairball on the cute Beatrice’s foot, thereby solidifying Loney George’s existance in the world. What Beatrice didn’t know is George owned a toy factory worth a cabillion dollars.
Moral of the story? Never overlook a gift hoark from the Ralph.
lol
Lonely George puts his kitteh in an ET Halloween costume and drags him to the cute Beatrice’s house next door, peturbed Ralph the cat promtly hoarks up a hairball on the cute Beatrice’s foot, thereby solidifying Lonely George’s existance in the world. What Beatrice didn’t know is that Lonely George owns a toy factory worth a kabillion dollars.
Moral of the story? Never overlook a gift hoark from the Ralph.
Gayla, feel teh wrath of mah pointee paw for dat misserubull pun.
/j/k…I lubs u Gayla
Danz Danz werebber yu mei bee! ai iz dah LAWD of teh Lolkittehs!
Major Dork reportin for dooty!
Ahhh Master Chief….
And dat brite oranj toi kinda luks liek Prince Pyrus from Shadow Raiders… or mebbe is just mai imajinashun?
teh akshun figurz i can unnerstan, but tohmus teh tank enjun? nao taht’s weerd…
(we haz mannee tranzformrs an tohmus teh tank enjunz at owr hows, but we haz ekscyuz. we haz rayzd liddl boyz in di hows. not bein geeks. reely.)
Wun uv dees fings is not liek teh odders –
Hmph! Aye haz moar tois dan ma hubbee! Corse, geek gurrls iz valyooble resoars…
An Aye keeps da reelee gud wunz in der pakijes, liek ma Shrek dragun, da noo Usag Yojimbo, an Aye gots da Angus Yung by McFarlane!! Beree rayr, Aye neber seen NE udder wun dan minez!!
An Aye has Goku, an Buttercup, an ded parrot. An da Luggage mayd by Clarecraft!
Hubbe haz Preacher, Transmetropolitan, Death an Daniel frum Neel Gaiman, menee dragunz, an rockits.
We has no kids, but we has tois….
We (an menee frens) ravver liv ’selfish’ middul class lives dan has kids an become poor an strugglin to provyd basics fur da bebes. Do nawt want to risk bein bad parints, doin it rong, cauzin sad lyfe, so we don’t haz kids. We asswage R sadniss by buyin tois an happiness fur Rselvs, an try to git enuff munnees to get big stuff. It duzint werk. We spend too much awn little tings. Et leest we still has eech uvver.
u lubs ur furree behbehs doh, riet?
YER MOCKIN’ ME, RIGHT? U R ARNT YA….
otaku cat iz otaku. i can haz star trek?
Dork cat iz nut amuzd.
i luv this pic cause i say dat to my friends all da time and they get mad at me lik so much
hi waz up ppl
i luvs to spek to ma catz in lolspek but the wierd thing ish they spek bak!
lulz i has dat saim stuffed aminal piga
lol so funny i lovz dis site
HAHAHA dats so funny!
ay red allo dat n nao mah eiys er aul crawseen…
Master Chief FTW!
do I seez mater chief in der?