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photo: ?
capped and submitted by: apocrypha
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
I hereby announce taht every day shall be Caturday and shall be marked with teh giving of tuna.
This would probably be an improvement
‘xactly! I’ve an old shirt that says “forget Bill and Bob, Sox and Millie can do the job!”
If kitteh ran for president, I’d vote for him. *nods nods* It’d vastly improve foreign relations… little purrrr here, head buttin’s there, an’ volia’!
and cheezburgers are free to awl!
ZOMG tuxedo kitteh for prez! lolz thats much win.
alreddy dressd 4 inawgrl ball!
“… and my second act is to announce my ‘catapult all dogs into the sun’ plan …”
don’t beagle-lible! eternal dalmation to terriorists!!
Finaly! Somwun wif harbals in teh oval offise!
Yoo do stil haz yr harbals, rite?
I noe yoo gotz enuf brainz fur teh job.
mai finkin 2!!! sumun wif braynes, luks, charms, karakter, morals, val uz, hoomilty, compash…cumpash… niec to otters. needz 1 ob deez fur Canda.
dey mai b niec to otters…butt wut abowt hoomins?
So far, kitteh be best candidate fur jyob!
he can has mah vote!
hez better dan da wun in dere nao.
kewter, 2.
i akcept teh nom-ination 4 purrsident
I can haz Helikat Frce Wan?
Kitteh sez: WAI YOU NO UNDERSTANDIN ME YOU STUPID HOOMANS!?
Humans hear: *meow*
Humans hear *meow* an it still mayks so much bettr sinse than whut current prez say!
Childrens do learn.
dang! i sawed dis lolcat an dats de furst ting i thot n u beets me to it. kittehs do lurn two!
Mistake Dis kitteh WAYZ 2 smart 4 dis job.
After the 1 hoo is ther nao, even goggies too smart for dis job!
WHISKERS ‘08!!! WHISKERS ‘08!!! WHISKERS ‘08!!! WHISKERS ‘08!!!
Goggies be ewseless. He be going “Raise taxes, mah favrit!” “Lower taxes, mah favrit!” “Gordon Brown, mah favrit!” “Al Gore’s leg, mah favrit!”.
It’s a thing! It’s a thing! It’s the Stick!!!
Mai furst act az purrsident will bez to lower taxez so cheezburger canz be enjoied bi allz.
Yeah! Ron Paul kitteh gotz elekted!
RuPaul will be defeated by Whiskers. Whiskers is a realist and knows how to deal with the Jihadist who no like caturday.
Kitteh has harbles of Cohlbert, also has truthiness. I vote kitteh ‘08!
kitteh hopez to reform helth care sistum in a way dat be enjoied by all teh kittehz of dis grayt land:
NO MOAR VETZ! and if dat not wurk, den kitteh iz gunna see bout fundin reesurch on new thurmomeetur dat duz not rekwire such an unforchunit insershun poynt. and purrhaps a nayshun-wide ban on remoovul of teh harblz.
Dons be furgettin’ fwee kitteh kondoms az peas of kitteh Waor On AIDS!
(Mai kitteh haz teh AIDS. So fur hes ok.)
Adn if ebrywan used de kitteh kondoms, den noones need get hrbllz remooved!
Pur wee kitteh. Mien dieded of AIDS, we catched it 2 late. *luks sad*
Awwws…I has teh sadness 4 u starling.:( Ar kitteh Blue did has teh Feline HIV (FIV) but we cots it 2 latez as well. Hims is ovar teh Brij nao.
Aye so happy wee took teh Sable kitteh to teh vet az soon az we founded him. Dey sayd he had de FIV, butt he still had many yearz ahead.
Aye just wishes he adn de odder kittehs wood make nices.
Kittehs don need kondoms to not get teh FIV. Dey gets it frum fitin wif odder kittehs. Kitteh prez shud promise whirled peas!
Or meybe fwee needlez fur wens de druggy kittehs is shootin’ ‘nip?
Whirled peas be guds too.
Yah, deep bite wounds is what passez it on I wuz told. I took in stray kitteh 7 years ago, she tested FIV+. She’s still with me, and no sign of sick yet ‘cept mouth problems sometimes and lost many teeth. And my udder kittehs never got it.
Ai so sry for da sick kittehs.
Doan kitteh condomb requires teh posable fumbs?
Dey gots ta put dem on corr…correk…da wite wai.
lisensd vet tek kood help wid dat
Ya, were’s Shera?
Kitteh shood say free vets fur awl kittehs!!! Nashunal helf kayr fur kittehs an goggees an ferrets an hammeez, an snakesters an horseez an goats an chikins….
I support dis kitteh’s campayn platfurm!
Well we said Obama was too black AND not black enough, maybe this kitties the right mix.
but dis wun luks lyk kitler, no?
not rly, ah thiimks. kitteh has onlee a haff ’stache, wit a goattee - we can has Shakepearekitteh 4 Purrsident?
himz will comfozzles R Mnees wit himz peotry!
Butt kitteh no haz earring. Shakespeare hadz earing. So kitteh no can b Shakespeare kitteh.
ai kin fix dat– here kitteh kitteh kitteh!
weight, wudnt sn earring maek him beez a pyrat kitteh?
hmmm.
Frood? We can has Purrsident Sigmund Frood?
Himz wim confundicate R Mnees wit hims tawk of yer mudder…
. . .Prez. Zigmund vill use catharsis to brake down yer id, itch, and uber-itch to uncovver yer cathexis to yer pleh-shure principle, and yer catstration complex and harble envy caused by yer eat-up-all complex. Resistance is futile!!
If iz naut won fing, iz yer mudder.
in a nutshell!
Yer mudder fitz inna nutshell?
Wao… tawk abaot da “liddle wumin”…
Ma Mawmee’s brayn fitz in a nutshell…. Ma hole famblee is nuts…
Whut seems stranj to me - since Obama is 1/2 black and 1/2 white - wai enebuddy say he is black? Wai don’t we just sai he is whyte? Werks both wayz. Orrrrrrr - wai dont we just say nuthin at awl cepting - Oh, whut a grate guy! (kyoot, too!)
I aks my mummy what I am when my daddy from one plais and mummy anuther,
She say I’se mungrel.
Akshully black whyte stuff no matter. We all 98% same’s chimpnzees enyways. Dats y kittehs soopeeryer to us munkees.
Adn if wez 98% chimpanzees, dat mus makes uss 80% kitteh.
Whys u sleaping n da sunshine? Itz mai kitteh DNA!
Dis might be repeet. . .
If wez 98% monkey, we at leest 80% kitteh!
Dat’s maie xcuze for acting kitteh like, anywayz.
dat iz teh nu math -
Purrsident Monkitty declars nu math iz gud…fur cownting chzbgrs. odderden dat Purrsident Monkitty declars no moar math.
Becuss, JanetCH4K, that wud bee logicul ub peepul, an if dat kine ub beehabyur showded up in pollyticks, peepuls wud hab the strokes ub shock, an teh upoplecksee.
Beesides, u noe dat if sumwun has 1 meelyn bit ub black in dem, den dey is considured black for all teh good AN teh bad.
Ah memur a place long ugo I worked at a gurl said, “Kat, u shud apply too be a policewoman, dats wut I did. Dey gib speshul attenshun to womuns an minoritees, an I got it caws I black.”
I said stoopidly, “But u not black” wif mah mouf opun.
Oh, yes, she said, I am.
I tot, is not teh purpose of gibbin peepple ub minority classifucashun the leg up to EKWALIZE teh sichuashun, not too bee grabbin teh goodies unfairlee an takin advantage? See, if u cant tell she black whai fair to use dat?
Bofe teh discriminnashun an teh opposite sneaksie stuffs is much pleh, IMO.
I likes dat Obama too. I tink he is smart , an no make braying jackass kicks and heehaws like manee politick peepuls thruowt teh yeers. When it cums to class, he has a bucket. (An yes, he kyoot too.) I hopes no crazy meen pursun tries to hurts him caws ub teh cullur ub his skin if he wuz electud.
It will bee a berry eksitin day in historee indeed for dis cwazee countree wen teh first woman and first black pursun bee elected. I hopes dat persun will bee reellee gud cawse teh meedia gonna drive dem nuts an get in der way ub seerius issyus wit foolishness teh hol time.
Stoopy meedia.
Stoopy prejudice.
Dats all.
Oddly, there was a persistent rumour that President Harding was “black”, under the “just one drop of African blood” rule which prevailed under the Jim Crow system (or maybe the Dracula system?) in those days. Race in America has long been a matter of identification (formerly societal, now personal) more than anything else, considering most “African Americans” have at least 1/4 European ancestry (and in some even object to African immigrants being described as “African American”).
That, I think, is the genesis of all these preferential-treatment rules, trying to compensate for harming people in the past by helping them now… except that there is nobody now alive who was born before slavery was abolished in the USA, and most of those receiving the benefit are not the people who received the detriment in the past, only members of the same arbitrary, unjustly defined category of people — not to mention that the “help” is generally of poor quality, nothing I would touch with a ten-foot pole.
Just as easy to divide Americans into “cat people” and “dog people” as “white people” and “black people”. What would the party platforms look like then? Would we be facing the impeachment of President Kitten by the DOG?
It is sad, but typically in many traditional societies, if a person is half of two cultures, they tend to be discriminated against in both cultures, not completely accepted by either.
ewwwww…dat makez mee so mad. Sad butt true. >:(
The very sad truth is, that if Obama got stopped almost anywhere in America in a routine traffic stop, and nobody knew that he was a US senator, or a graduate of Columbia University, or Harvard Law school, would the policeman looking into the car see the white half or the black half?
And more to the point, why should it make a difference?
There was a program on UK TV about Obama earlier this week, and they interviewed some gentlemen (and I use the term loosely) from (I think) Louisiana who said that Obama must have terrorist sympathies because :
1) he’s a Muslim (he isn’t but let’s not allow facts to get in the way)
2) Obama - sounds like Osama! So, must be sumtin gowin on thayur, know wut ai’m sayin?
It would be funny if it wasn’t so bloody scary.
greasycat, y u b named dat? Dat makez mee cyurius an laffy…
My furst kom’puter kitteh, that iz, furst who loved keyboard, screen, warm cpu, was named Greasy. I founded her az little babee kitteh earin out of dumpster outside grezee fastfood place. She gotted in car wit me, ate old greezee fries out of mai hand, so her name wuz Greasy. Most all my ‘puter names honor greasycat. She waitin’ on bridge, eatin mcnuggets.