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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
Cheezburger Network Blog
erojenus zone….
I has it.
(dis mah NUMBA WON erojenus zone, baybee)
/ai is sneekeh jeneeus
//owch! pulled a mussel patting mahself on teh bak)
top kitteh sez – “relax babe iz jus teh wind”
Shud have sed….
Ur erojenus zone…. I has it….
Or
In ur erojenus zone….
Fancyng ur tikle.
I chokd on da f presur.
noes! is teh funnee – no second gessing! gud fur(st) yu!
hehe
Ah cungrajulates u …
*fee-uls sad frum votez*… not reely congratulatin ME….I is REELLY congratulating Eleanor for teh FIRST POST in a clebber non Teho-smacked way…LOL!
[beeg wiyd imnosent aizez]
U sed u wuz sixteen, rite?
BUZTID!!!
…when she wisperd wut wz that?
I thinks thes no1 ther
Thas mai dad outside the car!
o plz the keys….
as I tried to tell her dad it wuz her mouf that i wuz kissin…..
hehehe nickelback…. theze kittehz are in fact animals
Wun ov teh most terrifying momentz ov teenajhood is heer reenacted by teh “Katz fur Whirled Peas” tehatrical troupe, an enlightend grooop ov Catzbians trying to edjukate Hyoomin bebbehs awn how tu survive in teh haus with adultz.
IS BIDNEZ TIEM AGEN!
wokka wokka wokka
Flight of the Conchords ref FTW!
Hey, Teho, tanks fer dat link an comment…didn think annywun wud notyce!
Woah! Dat dore iz eggzit only!
NE 1 member the Gomer joke “thats not my finger either”
LOL, I sed it to hubbee jus da uvver day!
“Wha Gomer, tha’s nawt ma bellee buttom!”
HONEY!
mmm?
I smell smoke? Are the kids ok? Maybe it’s a burglar! Did you lock the door?
mmm hmmm?…zzzz
Whut you means i grounded for life !!!!!!!!!!!!
T3e shoked luk on t3e syumeezs face is prysless. FTW!!!!!
Meezers are fun that way. However generations of British royal-family-scale inbreeding has made a lot of them about as sharp as a bowling ball…
Dey is bery sharp wen it cums to shreddin teh curtins, I kin asshure u.
… an bitn stoopi hoomuns whooz tryst to pet dem….
mai 1/2 meezer when I was a kitten cud get u dubl whami teef an nails pow! pow!
momcat
Twue, but sum of tehm tawk. Lyk mai neyborz kitteh, Cammeh, wun tym she wuz owt reel laet and wuz in owr backyard. Taht Cammeh, she has teh violens, so I duzzint pick her up.
So I sez, “Cammeh? U wants to go hoam nao? Iz ur bedtyme.”
An Cammeh sez, “Nyo.”
And I wuz lyk, “Oh, u duzzint wants to go haom ryte nao? Ok.”
Den I goez… “Wait, whut????”
R linkspoynt, Kimba, wuz liek dat too!!
She say ma fayvrit candee: Mownz!
Anyone else old enuff to member Fat Freddy’s Cat by R. Crumb? He stood by the door and said “Me out? Me out now? Prowl now!” I lubs dat. My kittehs say dat all de tyme.
Not Crumb! Gilbert Shelton (Austin boy). Anybody remember Wonder Warthog?
Tanks for de corre…curek…tellin me da rite thing! All this time I thot de Fabulous Furry Freak Bros were R. Crumb. Lurn sompin new evry day!
Is VERY common misteak. Meny peepls thinks taht – sumtiems includin me. I still has mai Fat Freddy’s Cat t-shirt!
girl
no means no!!
feller
aww, sugar! dont be like that! no one will see my wee love bite back here.
Twelf
Hurray fur Brane Ded! Twelf is a moat esteemed position! (12 months, 12 dancing princesses, 12 days of Christmas, 12 apostles – etc) Plus – is 2 x 6 – mai lukky number, so I thinks is the dubble lukky (too).
OK – nobuddy – NOBUDDY give me enymoar voats. Nawt that’s very liekly. I can’t beleeve it – 12 voats! Is – is . . .?????
U funneh, Brane Ded…l likez ur name, too
dear godz, ur paw iz cold! get it away frum ther!
an wun day u will sez to urself,
dis r not mah beeyootifl howse…
dis r not mah beyootiful car…
oh sheetz! Dis r not mah beeyootiful wife!!
Talkin Heds FTW!
an yu wil ask yerself
hey Self! hao teh H!!!@LL did we git heeya??!!??
“oh sheetz” LOL *snorts tabouli out of nose*
owchie, taht’s gotta hurt.
oh sheetz! dat nots tabooly!
(erghh… sry)
oooo dats teh spot!
Akkk! is heinielik-heiml-haim…anti choking maneuver. cheezburgr goes down rong pipe. kitteh in back preforms life saving tekneique and iz hero. gets photo in paper, keys to city and comen..cemon…letter from fyre detpatment saying good job!
At leezt, dat whut dey tellz da symeez’s parints.
“Yep. onnist. She wuz chokin, mr. and mrs symeezkitteh. I had to do teh manoovur, an teh mouf-to-mouf, an’ datz when u walkd in. THANK GAWD U HEER, PLIZ KALL 911, dey shud chek hur owt at teh hossibul. And, um, I’ll juz put mah pantz bak on whyle u kall, okeh?”
You not Siameeeez, so U don’t, pleeez!!!!
Lady and the Tramp FTW!
…but wich iz wich?
We is Siameeiz if you pleeiz
We is Siameeiz if you don’t please
We is former residents of Siam
There is no finer cats than we am
We is Siamese with very dainty claws
Pleaz be observing paws containing dainty claws
Now we lookin’ over our new domicile
If we like we stay for maybe quite a while
Hold stills
I himelicks u
Hineelicks? Oooo, keenkee!
*SLURP!*
Wut? Iz taht a video camra? U wuz TAYPIN taht? If dat enz up on U-Toob we are OVAH !!
Britney Spers and da gardner have a plant parenhood discussion
… iz dat abowt plantin’ seedz in da furtle playss so dey grow? I fink I had dat tawk. Bof wif my huzbin… an also wif my bottinee teechur. My bottinee teechur sez I iz be gud at teh plant parenhud.
Wayt. whut?
soo………..elf haz affair wif bottinee teechur?? film on UTube later today…. LOLZ
Well… I meen,. if u kall him givvin’ me sum seeds an’ me plantin’ dem in da bakyard *an affair*, then shur. Whutev.
Hims wyf, hoo iz teh KRAEZEE FREEK WUMMIN FRUM HELLZ fink I havin’ teh afayr wif him… Kuz him tookd me on feeld trip to park/lake to luk foar fossilz. Sins it wuz summur, I weared a swimmysoot (wun-peese pliz, kuz I iz pudgyfat) wif a payr ov jeenz…. Teh swimmysoot, it had teh krizzkross strapz in teh bak, wuz kyut an tazteful, an, I thot it wuz appropryit foar teh waring to teh layk, u kno, in teh summur, whut wif jeenz.
Him tookd piktorz of sum ov da rokz, an’ wun ov dem pixshurz him kinna got me bending down to pik up da big rok, an him got piktor lyk RITE DOWN MAI KLEEVIJ.
Well, I meen, I nont rilly kare, Him’s 67, rite, jeez, let da guy tayk a piktor if him wuntz, is nawt lyk I wuz nakkey or nuffin. Evin mai huzbin, u kno, dat guy I married to for 4 hole yeerz?!?! HIM!?!? DAT WUN?!? Him wuz lyk, “o hay, I nont blaym da guy, u gotz sum guud kleevij, yah!”
Well, himz wyfe dacided diz iz PROUF!!!!!!! dat we iz having WYLD TORRID AFFAYRE!!! *headdesk* zhe sawd deez piktorz, kuz him nawt fink der nuffyng rong an him showd da piktorz to hur dat wuz on hims kamra, der wuz menny piktorz nawt of teh Elfi. Well, den she gottid varee mad, zhe kalld me, damand to kno why I iz marryd but I “dress awl sexy” foar hur huzbin. I lyk, wtf u krayzee biznach iz teh swimmysoot, u no harazz meh nomoar. Her sai FYNE I kawl ur huzbin, I TELL HIM EVRIEFING! I like… um… ok, u kawl my huzbin. U tellz him I wored a swimmysoot to da layk in da summur. Nok urself owt, u krayzee koot.
Den she tuukd da piktorz to da lokil poleez dapartmint, an’ fyld a poleez raport dat I iz bad stoodint, horing to my profezzur, she raportid me foar talking to her huzbin when I at skool (IN HIMS KLASS!!), an’ even … *GAZP!!* avtur zkool wuz on brake frum summar to fall turm. Az evvidens ov mai horeing an’ evulniss, she prodoosd hims diggitul kamra, whish her stoled frum him. Da poleez wuz lyk… O.o Uh whut? but her inzist der be poleez raport bakuz I sush a evul wontin hore. O. An’ I threttind hur. I sed if she kawld mai huzbin I wud knok hur out. Varee threttiny, her afrayd foar hur life, yeth, varee. Gazp gazp. She evin had to draive bye my hows, in the uthar town, um sevril timez, whut to maek shur we wuz still hoam an nawt kom foar teh hurt hur.
Yep.
Dats whut taykingz of teh bottinee will git u.
–Elfi
dat KLEEVIJ be needin a bullsh!t proof vest!! po elf!!
OMG Elfi! what an experience! I had NO idea the can of worms I opened……QUICK sumone stuffs dem back in so Elfi can exhale! Hang in there gf u nawt a bad person atall! Dat lady just jealouz, mebber her cleveage not so much…. donno.
)
Yu poor floozie, yu!!! Just kiddin, Elfi!! we all luz yu and no how hard yu be workin at gettin yur skoolin….you wun smat youngin, dat’s for shur. Tell dat ol ladee to get a reel life an get outta yurz!! Or better, have your huzband tell her dat!! She be too insekure…makes me feel kinda sorree for her-but jus a little! Yu keep bustin teh curve in yur klasses an make us prowd!!
Me wunder wat da bottinee perfesur plantz in hims gardens…. Mebbe his whackdudle wify et sumthin ferny….
Dat mus be some kinda cleevage…!!1!
An yay to yur hubbeeman fur beein so liek, whutever bowt da non-ishoo! An also fur appresheeyatin da cleevij!
Yoo jus go on an keep makin da meedeeogre wimminz skeered, cuz yoo is da smrt an happee!
We luffs ya, elfloozie!!!
meedeeogre wimminz – dat’s a winsum wurd. k. 2 winsum wurdses. an guud advice, b. 2 much stoopy stuff ober wun swimmysoot.
!!! LEAVE ELFIE ALONE !!!
dere. i sayed it.
k so i chekked utoob an awl i found was this:
banilla rain
some stray cats make others feel the pain
banilla rain
but sighmeez cats will always seek revenge
er, elfie, i sware ur psycholady post waddint there wen i wrote this. itz referrin to teh lolcats. in case ur wonnerin wtf?
ROFL pittypat—–I was wonerin whay u was tryin to imply
)
No seriously, I saw that and I was like LOL b/c I didn’t see mai pozt eethur!!! then I re-wrote (below)… wtf… .so is Okeh, I knowd u not tryin’ ta sae I bees meen to da stoopy Lizurd. I nawt be vengeful, dat hur job, yeah.
Um, not axaktlie
Altho, u kno, whutev.
Kuz hims wyf iz lyk OMG U WONTIN HORE!! @ me. Kuz… kuz… I dunno. Maebe kuz she a bizzich an I nawt I dunno, I juz tryz to go to zkool. I nawt affayr wif mai 67 yr old bottinee teechur. Iz nawt mai fing, u kno? Him varee zmart, I talk to him, I lurn much much. But nawt abowt … um… u kno… um…. hims weddingtakkul. I nawt kno nuffyng abowt dat stuf.
I fink she mad dat I iz hims frend an I nawt sum flewziehore. I fink, if she wuz nawt teh evul bipolur lizzurd-deemin frum hell, an akshulie kud figur owt whut she wuz upset abowt, I fink she wud fynd dat she is upzet dat I iz NAWT sum dispozybul zlutpuppie. I fink zhe WUNT me to be ztoopy hore kuz den it wud be moar okeh sumhao. But noez.
But dat wud beez teh purfek werld, wunt it? Yah, I kno. It taykz awl kinz. An othur piffy sayingz abowt why evul lizurd-deemin-frum-hell wimminz be on dis earf. Yep. Awlz I kno iz I werryz abowt hims kidz. Her iz teh eevul, juz’ leevs wifowt tellin’ dem whar she goin’, leev dem alone wif no fone (dey no hav hoamfone, she sed we no needz wun, I havs cellfone)… the oldizt kidlet iz 9, an dat dae the uthur two wuz sik, so da 9-yr-old, she haves to tayk kare of sik 8-yr-old an’ sikker 7-yr-old siblyngz…. dey mae bees varee zmart kidz an’ varee rasponsibul, but dat iz nawt okeh. I wuz teh horrorfyde whin I hurd diz fing, I maked him goez to teh walmart an’ buyz teh prepayd go-fone foar da kidziz, so dey kan kall him if dat happin agin.
An dat ain’t da werzt ov it. I wud haetz hur if I kared to wazte dat mush ennergie on it. Her nawt werth moar then mai pitty. Hur iz teh nawt mammul-brane, hur iz teh lizurd-brane.
–Elfi
I wanna sai sumthing nyce an supportiv, but I dunno whut 2 sai…
*hug*
things will be better…or at least they’ll be differnt…
Good on you for getting the kidlets the contact phone! And BE KEFFU! Cwazy leezard-lemming-brain-bisnitch HUTSU!
ZOMG, dis nawt in SD? Dis crazee deemun sownz liek ma mawm!!!
Hmm, mebbe she WANTS hubbee to hav da stoopee ho so she nawt has to pleez him nummoar, R els she wants reezun to divors him an tak da kids an get da munnee an ignor da kids while she goze hoarin fur anudder man…..
I kan haz anoneemous fon kall to chil pertektiv serbis? Iz much illeagle an danjurus to be leevin lil kids hom. Whut if a fyre? ZOMG, an no fone, much skeeree!!!
Bad lizerd deemin, BAD!!
In that particular instance, there was a serendipitous ending. The eldest had been playing a game on mama’s phone the night before, and hadn’t put it back. mama took her purse and left without checking for her phone…. but she THOUGHT it was in her purse.
So they DID have a phone… and this was after I’d told *HIM* he needed a damn phone….
so eldest called him and told him that mama was not around and he was able to check on all of them. At that time I was acting as his assistant, so he left me at the school with a pile of stuff to copy while he ran home between classes to check on the kids, and was grateful that I had volunteered to do the copying while he checked on the kids.
They are not ever left alone if he can help it – there’s a day-care type place where they can go if he needs to take them somewhere. DemonLizard probably was trying to use her absence to control him, but it didn’t work out quite right. He was really pissed, though, because he knows a 9-year-old can’t be left alone, nevermind alone in charge of two siblings.
hm. so da bottnee teecher is 60 plus. da krazy lizard-deemin-meedeeogre-wyfe is… dunno. but dey has free kiddlez. unlessen she sum fertille hot ladee, she must be yunger. sekint wyfe. betcha.
so i magine she iz all jellus an paranoidy cause she knowses how SHE gotted him. it wuz a swimmysoot. or a rok. or sumfing else dat maded him luk. an she not altr- – al-tru-ist-ic. not lukin aot for da kiddlez. let dem stay alone wifout a fone while she iz aot doin gourd-noze-whut. kinda self-ab-sorbed, huh. grabby, whiny kinda meedeeogre womin. no wunder she doan trust u – - nobuddy can trust HER.
iz a bad fing dat she duz da drive-by. a CREEPY fing. if she doan stop all da driveby and callin ur hubbyman, mebbe u gots to file sumfing urseff. *i can has peece bond* or whatevs u got wheres u lives.
OK wtf … my first long post, I swear, hadn’t posted…. I thought it had deleted, I looked for it everywhere… , so I re-wrote and posted the second long post and now they’re both there, wtf wtf but anyway
OK his first wife died after 28 long wonderful years of marriage and they loved each other and were partners and were happy and loving and all that stuff that ppls are asposd to be. She couldn’t have kids and it was her saddest thing but he didn’t go out on her, not once, even when she said he could go make a baby w/ another woman and she’d raise the baby….. he didn’t. He loved her. She died of some kind of woman-cancer (endometrial, I think?) about 14-15 years ago. He misses her terribly. He lived in the house that they’d bought together, and taught his classes, and tried to move on.
Four years later, he met the Evil Lizard Demon from Hell, only she was cleverly disguised as a cute Chinese waitress, 18 yrs his junior. (at the time she was 33? him 51?) She was very efficient and very smart, he could tell, and he married her when she got pregnant, such was his joy with the world (despite the fact that she’d done that whole accidentally-on-purpose bullshit because what SHE really wanted was citizenship but I digress) …. she was super-fertile, had 3 pregnancies start-to-finish in 31 months. It was after Baby #1 was born, about 3 months into the second pregnancy, (Baby #1 = about 5 months old??) that she started to show her true colors… snapped into a violent manic-depressive mixed-state rage, tried to kill the baby, sent him to the hospital w/ a broken shoulder (he grabbed the baby and turned his back in time) … He thought it was very acutely bad post-partum depression, so he didn’t leave her, of course there was a baby on the way, he just COULDN’T….
The kids are beautiful and brilliant and sweet. I’ve met them. And yeah they’re KIDS… the youngest (the boy) is the kind of holy terror people should REALLY worry about… he’s not randomly destructive, no, he’s *SMART* destructive… (what would happen if I poured all the girls’ and mama’s lotion into papa’s laboratory blender? hmm…) that kind of stuff. And kids are kids and they’ve kind of run rampant in the house, they’ve peeled the really expensive wallpaper that papa and First Wife put up b/c they realized they’d never have kids….. but… From what I’ve heard about his first wife, I think she’d be thrilled that he had children to destroy the wallpaper.
However, PsychoLizard has destroyed more than the kids ever have …. she’s picked up and thrown heavy oak furniture through the walls in bipolar rages. She’s left piles of… *STUFF* all over the floor (wet laundry, garbage, etc) so the baseboards got moldy and warped and destroyed.
It’s fixable, he just wants her to get her own place… and the kids can have keys to both places, and it’d be great….. but in the meantime she’s fixated on *me* as the whore, and is pitching royal fits left and right. Whoever said she wants to divorce him and take the children and get support and then neglect them so she can do her own thing is EXACTLY RIGHT. I don’t think she’d trawl for a man, but I DO think she’d suddenly realize what groceries actually cost (Her money is her money, his money is their money… so his money pays for all the kids’ things…) She’d just not feed them probably. She’s got some kind of brain damage, seriously, there’s a hole in her corpus collosum, I’m led to understand… she just doesn’t use her right hemisphere that much…. the hormones that are supposed to trigger maternal behaviors worked while she was nurisng the babies but .. now that they’re somewhat capable on their own, she thinks they’re adults.
It’ll be a shock when she realizes how he’s set up his assets in trust and doesn’t actually own anything for her to take.
Ya know what, I kinda wish I were his whore some days. Poor guy deserves a little TLC from an adult female who actually cares about him, and doesn’t want anything out of him except a little intelligent conversation.
yoikes. whutta mess out of doze lives… an da kiddlez caught in da middlez.
k. dis is whut i fink. insted of gettin loyers fur divorces, we need to get loyers fur marriages. iffen we hadta proove dat we shud get married, den dere wud be fewer divorces.
invisible toboggan wipe out.
bery phunnee, pp. awsum winz!1!
I’m… kinda tird of deez cat piks beeng ternd sechshul.
I likez invisible toboggan wipe out. Dat wood’ve made me LOL.
dank u 4 sayns dat Aimee… I haz elben year old gurl kitten- I noes wanna be ’splain stuff to her.
An she lubs lolcats- is nite nite treats for hers if shes been gud…..
momcat
(gascat, himz 18 noes mor dan me probly…..)
Missus Kitteh on bakashun tree towsand miuls away sayz suddenly, “OMGZ! Did ai leef teh iron on?”
Diz deffnitly WIN !!!!1!11!
Sure de rents r home!!!
Heinee lik maneuver joke:
some texans was in restrnt having cheezbrgrs, lady at nex table starts shoking and texan grabs her, pulls up dress an liks her butt.
lady verymuch surprizeded spits out shoked on foodies.
Texan sez to his frens
“See de heinee lik maneuver works every time”
leh go, b4 dey c us!!!
my beloved meezer flamepointe Pinky (now at bridge-she was 20 years olt), would call me Mama. She once bought a dinner party to a screaching halt by calling MAAAAmAAAAA from the living room-dead silence then someone asked ‘Did the cat just call Mama?’ Hubby sez if I was late she would sits by door and call Mama.
Big talker Pinky
Berry sweet storee, kim!!! We all miss ar “bridge bebbehs”…I like to look back at alla their pikturez and remmemmer teh manny happees they brot to me.
My Bastien-boi is a talker, too. LOL. He says “uh-oh” when he poops on the carpet. Which is about twice a day. Love it.
(he was outside, is pikky about using a box that a GURLKITI has used, of course the girls LOVE having three boxes they can go wherever they want!! so they DO!!! and he doens’t wanna use the boxes. sooooo… poop on dining room carpet.
Eh, it’s one room, I’ll rip up the carpet and put in tiles… at some point.
–Em
“Oh Noes! Ceiling Cat can seez us!!!”
Aww, Jus 1 mor snorggle pleez? Ur choklate points has a flavr n it r delish!
forni-cat is startled from his fornication!
Bom chicka wow wow…
I can has Chris Hansen?
Itz k baybee, de don’z kare or dey wouldn’tz haz got us neutered.
oooo, good one.
Yes, dats RITE low burger gibbun voter. You get ur kitteh fixed an he/she not haf to suffer no more. No more kittehs wifout homes. Dat is responsibul and propur.
Unless u is a breeder for monehs. Den I specks u hab enuf sense to noe ai am NOT talking bout UR kittehs!
Mamah an Daddeh Kitteh iz summonen’ moar bebeh brudders an sistorz fer de li’l kittehs. Iz verey, verey speshul typ ov hugz.
oh my goodness, that top kitteh looks EXACTLY like my cat. can anyone tell me what breed or mix it is? i found my kitten in a snowbank on the side of a road, pedigree unaccounted for, and i’ve been wondering.