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capped and submitted by: Ray Carter
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u no say we culd not come!
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r u leevin ona jetplayne?
we can has pnuts?
No, kitteh, no pnuts. Yu maight be ‘lergick.
kattericulosis?
…GOENG SOMWHAR???
YU KANNOT EXSCAPE.
towls and kittehs – what else cood u kneed?
lektronik posabul thum?
teho joo eez geenee-us ^^
an teh joo janta 200 super chromatic peril sensitive sunglasses. kant ferget does, fer sure.
An’ da resipee foar Pangalaktik Gargul Blasturs just in kayse da bartendur duzn’ no hao to mayke dem.
Catz goin onna vacation!! Whar we goin Daddy? Luks lik sumplaice WARM!!! An we can haz cheezburgerz evry day! Woohoo
An a plaice where there izznt any trouble. Do u be supposing there iz such a plaice Tabby? There muss be. Itz not a plaice u can be getting to by a boat or a train. It be far, far away. Behine teh moon, beyon teh rayne . . .
Wher the happee littul blooburds fly…
AND WE CAN NOM THEM UP!!!
Den blooburds no b hapee wen det nomnommed?
“somWHAR ovr teh rayneBOW…”
Dat’s my favrit song! Wen I goes to teh brij, I want dem to sing dat song at my memry sayremonee.
Duffy, teh happy blooburds flying and WE CAN NOM THEM UP made me giggle.
We goes to place wif da big beach and lotz n lotz sandz fur da playin K?
BIG LITTERBOX ALL FRESH!
trip kittehs is trippin
speshly dat wun on teh riet. lookit dem aiezez!
Him duz haz da kootist liddewl goofi expressin!
‘member — not chek. we r kattyon
surpriez! we comed with u.
knu u’d missed us.
so’s good, k?
xactly whut i wuz thinkin!
squishy cat on the right didn’t like the ride so much.
lefty was farting.
Okey
I hads ta throo owt won ov ur swetorz ta fit in heer
An Fluffy maed a pazpert owt ov kardboord
But i fink we maeds it pas Hoamlin Sakoority okey
Hey, wut’z “conn-chriban” anyweys?
We iz carree on luggij!
FTW!!!
Admit it – we iz bedda lukin tahn teh towuls. And floofier!!1!
vacation cat is vacating
Seems to me deese cat is NOT vacating — yr sootcase!
Wat u say? Dose B beech tawels? Wat b beech? Water? Water b kitteh solbent! Mayb we fink abowt dis! Dat iz, we fink n nap at same tymezzzzzzzzzzzz!
Beech is sand? Why we go to giant litterbox in sunshine? Not much fun, sounds like. Forest better! Birds, sqirrrels, lots more to see and do there!
More fun! Trust us!
Sum beeches can haz forests bside dehm, and sum beechez can had birds on dehm 2.
Yez, butt beeches still hab watter! Some beeches hab water dat MOVE kwick & can wet kitteh!!!!
On odder hand, kittehs can stay in beech condo waitin for hoomans to come back wid deh lobsta, deh swrdfeesh, deh Tuna! We can haz feeshburger???????
Dat be good! Kthx!
butt beeches? dat’s ware dey not ware no close?
(I heer dey not so exsitin as dey may seem…..)
ON teh uther paw, therez fisheez…
LOTSA FESHEEEEES!!!
Wat yoo meen, we no can has karee on?
Kittehs ALWAYS carry on.
ai travelled wif kittehs, and ones dey came out wif sutkases, on conveyor belt
(
They looked skared, sure.
But wasn’t skared so much as MORTALLY INSULTED!!
“We…Is…Not…LUGGAGE!!!!”
This is a true story.
My aunt had a poodle that went everywhere with her. She would give said poodle a tranquilizer before getting ready to fly anywhere because the poodle wasn’t on board with her; she was in her carrier in the luggage compartment of the plane. Hence the tranquilizers.
Anyway, one time she flew to see us and me and my two sibs went to the airport to pick her up. We met her at the gate (this was a LONG time ago) and after lots of hugs (she was/is our favorite aunt) we went to the luggage pick up to get her bags and her poodle. We asked her, “Where is TInker? Does she come down the chute, too?” And we snickered at our wit.
“Oh, heavens no,” she said. “They always take animal carriers off and put them near the office for pick up.”
She had no sooner said this than Tinker came down the luggage chute in her carrier UPSIDE DOWN.
We were astonished to see flames shoot out of Aunt Wanda’s nostrils and smoke come belching out of her mouth as she turned on her heel and went in search of a supervisor. We had always thought she was human – not a dragon.
LOL!! Wud lub to see dragon antee!
Wen moovd frum NC to Kalleefornya tuuk kittehs in hold uv plane. Are-liyn tell me wut good kare dey wil giff teh kittehs. Den we waiten to chanje plane at Los Anjuleez areport an ah luk owt window an ah sees my bebbehs’ carriers sittin on teh tarmak!!! Wit teh heet an awl teh noyze! I toll ladee at teh gayt to let me go down an get mah kittehs. Woodent let me but called sumwun hoo got dem moved inside. Ize so upset!
Wen moovd bak eest we drove. Kittehs no like teh kar but at leest ah culd looks after dem myself.
ah’s shoore ur rite!.
Berry funnee imaj, but not iv kittehz getz hurted, so maybee nawt so grate reeli.
noes noes not get hurt, but stoopy areport peeps not sees difference between kittehs an luggage?
i overhurd sum guy sai “i wonder whoz kittehs dei are.. iz second taim dei cum bai now”
Sumtiems kittehz must fly or get left beehind. Mai kittehz (Shakespeare, Mitzi n Florian) flew frum Stuttgart to Shikago – cayme awt awn teh conveyor belt – awl merry and brite! Wuz soooo happee!!! (Mee, I meen!) Wuz very worried, butt airlinez very caring.
moar better dan 16 hours in a car from KS to Houston wif a kitteh between your feet– doped up and biting every time u move a bit….. (don’t tell whats his name we did this!)
Prhps liked noo kitteh muzement ride!
Gayla! U has mai bak three tiemz now! I countz! I has also maed long car tripz with kittehs – wunz, long ago (befoar tehy built teh autostrada across teh Alpz frum Austria to Italy), wehn it still tuk two dayz to get frum Germany to Italy, I mooved with a brand noo kitteh (less tahn two months awld and awnly three weeks known to mee – a “foundling”) to Italy dirivin with taht liddle kitteh. We wuz lukky to get there aliev!
aha! soh U R fum osstria!
Purrchance . . .no. But I wuz lukky enuf to live in Austria for several years, just a couple in Italy, and MENY, meny yearz in Germany. Goin to skool and den werkin fur teh US Army. Wuz MUCH fun and SOOOO byootiful. I’se retyred now and livin on teh south eastern shorez of teh magnificent Lake Mictchigun. Our town iz old and cud be also byootiful, butt teh idiotz keep tarin down teh interestin awld buildingz – tehy callz it “progress.”
OMG! I thought the whole Austria thing was our lil inside joke– I had NO idea there was an actual connection…….I am laffin SO HARD right now– jokes on me! brb uhhh gotta go round the corner LOL LOL LOL LOL
kiwican— so are you from New Zealand??
) I need a new inside joke apparently LOL LOL
Gayla – ur doin it rong. Muzt be “are you perchance from New Zealand?”
But no – I thot WUZ our lil inside joke, too. It wuz VERY funny when U said it! I muzt admit I wuz a bit puzzled taht u found it so funny at furst – but it wuz a “bit off the wall.” It wuz sumthing in the way he (she?) – wuzn’t it iamhoff? – phrased teh comment taht sounded Austrian to me. Butt I cud see how it wud sound very odd to sumwon else! LOLing too!
Gayla, Purrchance I yam (kumara in NZ) fum noo zeelande butt komed 2 Kanada wen a toddla. mai dadd NZer, mumm Canaydyun. & I luvs yer osstria joak! Jes thot it phunnee wen ternd owt shee had libbed der!
Kiwican–
) And I got it– half kiwi half canadian 
) kute!
My better half lives Monganui! Long story– I live there part of the year too.
Janet —
)
ur right! I was so excited I lost my lolspeak HA. I think you asked Iamhoff that — and someone had asked crazy old lady that– like the day before– and I thought it was such a random country to throw out there— it cracked me up! Course I am easily amused
Srsly, Gayla? Teh mount? Ai der in febyooary! mai kuzin lib in Papamoa!
And Taht’s what I liek so much abawt you, Gayla! Bein easily amewsed, I meen. Is a very nyce kwality. I’m thinking in real lilfe u must have a wonderful laugh. Amd, az we r on teh subjekt – whence, purrchance, do U hail? And how very wunderful to live part of teh yeer in NZ. I’ve never been there – but know lotz of peepl who hav. Wud reelee liek to go sumtiem. (I totally missed sumwon asking COL that teh day befoar).
Kiwican – now I got it, too. I was thinkin it was – oh – Kiwican has cheezburger, or something liek that! I guess my nayme is pretty obvious!
Srsly, Gayla? Teh mount? Ai wuz der in febyooary! mai kuzin lib in Papamoa!
It depends– Tree (his name) is only on shore for a couple weeks at a time — and offshore for 12. I live in Kansas the rest of the time ( I have ill parents) so I only go to visit a couple times a year
) His house is in Papatoetoe.
Iz herd a storee ’bout a kitteh dat was put in luggag hold in deh plaen & got out. Took MANY dayz to find kitteh in de plaen. Kitteh OK – found tings to ate & drinkk, and survived deh preshurizations.
I red dat & sez “iffen I travel wid mai kitties it will be by KAR!”"
iz no such bad idea akshually.. send kittehs on vacashon, and haz kwiet howm timez for snoozez
Problee be teh first tyme I had full nite sleep sinse teh kitteh caem to liv wif meh…
lol try hazing twoo kittehs!
Tries habing four kittehs! Nutting liek gaem of “Tundering Elly-phunts” at 4:00am.
Been dehr, dun daht. Moar funz wehn 14lb kitteh jmpz on sleepipeep whoz nawt uzd 2 kittehz in dah houz.
wun of hour kittehs uzed 2 jummp inn threw batroom windo- berry tynie batroom, toylet rite unnder winndoh- skared a lawt of bizitors wen himz kame flyin onn2 der lapps!
OOOOH! The 4:00 am of Tundering Elly-phunts gaem! Most fun of awl! When I wuz in Stuttgart, mai downstairz neighbors sumtiemz aksed why I wuz moving furnichure around in teh middil of teh nite!
Funnee Janet! Yu shud hav teld them, “oh, teh magnetic feelds of teh urth wernt in synk” or sumthin.
Ratz! Where wuz u wehn I neededed Yu?! I nebber thot of taht!
dei never play “find noisy mouz” as suun as bedrum laits go owt?
oar…
ebun wurs is teh priseeding 3:30 AM gaem ov teh hai flyin Demalishin Durbee Tag Raysiz in which yew, teh sleepipeep ar bof the saef baze and teh lawnchin pad fur teh clevur akrabatik manoovurz
and WWFWF – World Wide Feline Wressling Federashun, where teh bed maeks nise sof ring for rassling and teh hyooman gets to play refuree who gets smooshed!!!
ReFURREE? Iz hied under deh coverz wh3n WWFWF bra3ks out! NO WANT face or odder body partz shredded…
Sriouslee — I kno what ti3m of year it be by how many kittehz on bed. 1 kitty sleepz wid me all deh time – otherz sleep as it gets kolder & kolder.
When all 5 kittehs on bed Iz kno iz Middul of Winter!
HylasBrook: mai kittehs do saem fing in wintur…Tonya, mai uzhuallee aloof kitteh krlz up on mai chest and proseedz to purr lowdly and mai otehr kitteh, Shadow, burowz under teh cuvrz and wedjiz hurself in mai armpit. iz srsly weerd to waek up to sensayshun of kitteh foarsing hur wai into spase between mai sied and my upr arm, but is full of kyoot too, tho
Yah! Ma kitteez lernded fast dat tuchin honkshu mommee wif a cold nose while tryin to get in a warmer playse meens lowd “YARRRRRRG!!!!” an flingin uv cuvvers when da mawmee wakses up frum it! LOL!
AN dun take too lawng to git under da warm cave cuvvers when mawmee holdin dem upfurr yoo!! Nuffin skeery under der but Roscoe kitteh!
or, “catch anyting dat muvs under de duvet”, including breathing sleepipeeps, toesies etc
In wun partment, kittehs kep bein outzide bouncibounci offa windoze at Too inna morning sayin “MOMEEEEE!!! Lemme in pleez!!!” Culd not figger owt how dey got owt dere until wun day cawt dem sneeking uppa chimbley! From firs storee partment in tree storee howse!
Uzed rope tu tie damper shut. Dat wurked, no mor kitteh bouncibounci offa windoze. Den dey jus went bak to sit on Mommee’s hed inna middle of nite.
WOW! Nao dat’s definitlee desperit to bee owt kittehs!!! Whut lil Imps!!
OMG U had teh crazee kittehs! LOL… At leest tehy axksed to be let bak in, rite?
Si naow, alla tyme ai thawt waz mee hoo needed teh vacashon!! Tanks fur s’plainin…
well hello! an welkum to mai kloset! it used to be a jungle of kitteh klutter, but i now be trippling mai kloset space an u can too! juss place kitteh in ur space bag storage bag an vakkuum out teh air! an dont be worrying, cuz kitteh kums rite back to life as fresh an floofy as befoar!
Dat were kruel and straingely lol-wurthy.
Yes – dont trai this at hoam – and LOLz awl over teh playce!
Well Hello! Crazy soap star Pittypat! We can has transport to beach house closet?
Plus if u akt nao…
Sounds like urbane legend. Can send ideea to Mythbuthters?
an urbane legend? one that talks reel nice?
An twirls it’s moustash!
Kittehs commin owt uv closet? De onlee ting dey hidin in der is spew dogs in yur shooz!
Vakuum pakked kitteh! Keeps dem fresh for long-term storaj. Koold be makin lots o munny frum dis idea.
oh hai i has matchin make-up bags, dey tabbeh colourred!
wot chu meen we dun luk lyke bikini??
We can has road trip?
OK – OMG (fur lack of a bettur ekspreshun!)!!! Teh bettur ekspreshun be awn teh kitteh fayces. Mai hed IS splodin frum teh kyoot! *splat* *thud*
(dieing last werds) Sum. . . lukkeh purson. . . getz *gasp* a BINGO!
BINGO!
)
I noe! Dose faeses is hilareus! Dey luk lyk dey be 5 sekonds frum bitebitebiting teh sutecase. I loled.
An den I maeded mah assistunt come luk at teh pickshur too!
U iz awsum boss!
Ai beleev in ICHC for awl. Is nessessaree for produktivitee.
AAAAAAAHHH!! It’s a trap! They be usin teh kyootness against meh! CAn…not….resist…kyoot…
we iz in ur suitcase
packin ur clowthes
If we b on tarmak for 5 hours, we wil claw pilot’s eyes out!
W8 til after flite 2 do daht kitteh; delay will B way longer iv U do it b4 flite.
flarda here i come!!!!!1!!!1!
Oh hai. U will has to find noo sewtcase. Is our new beds naow. I noes u was using it, but it ours noaw. Donut u noes how to shares? kthxbai.
LOL! Dat kitteh on raht looks lahk it bee sayin, “An duz u gotz a problum wit dat?”
Picshue awsum an ful of WIN1
(I would change my plans and stay home. Kitteh 2 kyoot to leave!)
ai hadd 2 setts uv tabbie sissters, lukked ah lawt laik theze. Furrst set wur Polly & Muffin, sekond wur kald Tinker & Tisha. I luv tabis!
Left-side kitteh: I can has seet belt plz?
Rite-side kitteh: Yur brand of suntan loshun not smel so gret akshully, speshully in enclosed spase. *kaff*
Yez. Wai du suntan loshun alwaies smel lyk koko nut? Pleh!
Cuz I am allergic to koko nut. Its a plot. Trapped in elevator with sunscreen coated peepl, is setting that Dante left out of his Inferno.
I can has conspiracee thery?
Dis Sootkayse beez
so much bettah tahn a
kramped Kitteh Kennul
Beeg oapen Bawks
4 Travull. So wydez an soff
an kumfurtibill!
Kittehz jumpz in wen
Hewminz bakkz R turrnd. Dey no
can haz fyndz us heer
Teh jurnee uv wun
thowsand mylez beeginz wiff a
beeg expenss akkownt!
Jack.
eehhm, this sootcase style runs a littil smah-all. i dont think they gonna feh-et.
i mehn, ur kittehs be kinda beh-eg . . .
oh. oh. oh. oh. By teh way, beeyach? PACK YOU!!
doze towls is mien, betch
towls. towls. towls.
deez towls rool. deez towls suk.
Deez towls ar three hunnerd dollurs. Letz get dem!
In Soviet Russia, suitcases pack YOU.
Wez homland sekurity kittehofficers going thru your stuff. We letz U no if yuz r terroritas.
Hoamlan Sekurikittehs say “we keepz u off teh no-flai list if u halps us stai on teh no FLEA list, kplzthx”
Mai kitteh Mousie-Mouse luffed to park herself in teh sootcase. Sootcase, peekneek basket, enny kind of packing bocks. I has peeckshur of her in peekneek cooler (wifowt ise, a corse).
tot u sed “wifout eyeses fur a minnet!
1dered wai U want teh blind kittehs- nawt so grate aktually- my dotter can haz 1 ub dose!
nawt want teh kittehs wifout eyz butt wifout ise gud ting- kitteh lub teh warmz.
Wee kan goze to Juhmayka or Teheetee n haz chzbrger in pairadyz?
we goes to teeheetee plase, you no be needing bading soot top-ting. Saves u spase for kittehs. we use space foar toy mouzies.
Next tiems we stays home cus teh comments we gets r pile shite
“and if yu aint takin’ us on vacashon, we makez sure yu takez many of ours hairz”
we knowz we knowz
wurzt taole imatayshun EVA!
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