AND you saved a bunch of money switching to GEICO?

U kiddinz? But I is stuk!

cats have a saying
“everything cardboard is mine”
paws off the box, bub

If wuz orinj kitteh, mebbe kitteh’s own poyzin wud caounterack poyzin in bawks? (Lyke snakeses immyoon to venom)

But we has observed kitteh and thus collapseded teh superposishun uv states. Sorry kitteh, u hasn’t proved nuttin.

*SPLOOF*

mai hed sploded frum da math…

an da koot!

Beecuz dis iz a pikshur, iz dis kitteh ALWAYS inna box? Or duz ower constant vee-ewing change dat two?

ICHC subtehroem uv Schrodinger’s Theery: Iz teh kitteh aoutsaid teh cheezburger oar iz teh cheezburger insaid teh kitteh? Wen teh bockx has openz teh superpossishun collapeses; teh cheezburger enterz a quantumnomnom satite & vanishz (into teh kitteh).

What Schrödinger missed is that observation by a cat is required for a human to be truly alive.

Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
(Not bad, eh? Don’t worry. This part of the verse
Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
Win saw that the theory that Newton’d invented
By Einstein’s discov’ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, “Don’t panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
If that’s not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though–my theory permits us to judge
Where some of ‘em is and the rest of ‘em was.”
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E’en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, “Brother, suppose we’ve a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at–
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got ‘em,
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom–whatever–but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder’s sealed. The hour’s passed away. Is
Our pussy still purring–or pushing up daisies?
Now, you’d say the cat either lives or it don’t
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won’t.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, “Tough @#&!
We may not know much, but one thing’s fo’ sho’:
There’s things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons–you’ll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed–
Which ruins your test. But then if there’s no testing
To see if a particle’s moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability–certainty, never.’
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
‘Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
“We’ve just flipped a coin and we’ve learned he’s a corpse.”‘
So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, “You’re nuts.
God doesn’t play dice with the universe, putz.
I’ll prove it!” he said, and the Lord knows he tried–
In vain–until fin’ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: “Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I’ll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he’s in heaven–but five bucks says he ain’t.”

–CECIL ADAMS

Why there is no Schodinger’s Dog - a creature that has difficulty being in one state at a time let alone being in two states simultaneously. When put into a box with a decaying vial of poison which might or might not release the poison, Shrodinger’s Dog chews the vial thus ensuring it ended up in a dead state every time.

mee too — but tanks fur da referunz.

Iz eben simplur - awl ES wuz tryin to eggsplayne (2 odder siens peeplz) waz daht, ebin tho U noze daht haff ov a blok ov Uranium will dekai in a givn time, U dontz noze wehn a spicif Uranium atom wil deekay.

nyce, Teho…mai brane getz bigger frum dis nfomashun. kthxbai

Teho is teh win. As ’scientist in training’ (college is teh waste of munneys, speshully when teh m_m has knowed dis crap since she could read, but i goes anyways!! needs the piece of paper to verify my learnings!!) i is always apply scientific theories to teh kittehs in mai homes. Still not explain anyfink though. Kittehs is enigma. Also been checking out Tehos blog on vox, teho sounds like big friendy bear in videos!! also, masses of kittens?!? WANT!!

Love Evil Mad! Teh has Mayne Coon, lik me. Smart cookies, too.