« Previous teh conga | Oh noes! Next »
» 131 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
bluesfan473 on CATS WHO STARE AT Nennepus on CATS WHO STARE AT bluesfan473 on CATS WHO STARE AT Phillipe d'Beaker on CATS WHO STARE AT bluesfan473 on CATS WHO STARE AT bluesfan473 on CATS WHO STARE AT catena on CATS WHO STARE AT catena on CATS WHO STARE AT Elsa_Mama on CATS WHO STARE AT Elsa_Mama on CATS WHO STARE AT zippythepoet on CATS WHO STARE AT JAJEH on CATS WHO STARE AT HissyFit on CATS WHO STARE AT catena on CATS WHO STARE AT JAJEH on CATS WHO STARE AT 
Cheezburger Network Blog
HAHAHAHA =) good one
I don’t have anything phunny to say here– but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night…….
AND you saved a bunch of money switching to GEICO?
I has complaintz. Deez TARDIS mush smawwer onna insaid thanna owtsaid.
Dr. Who ref FTW!
EXTERMINATE!! – dreamz interruptor
iz a fectory defect, but iz no covar unner teh warrandy
U kiddinz? But I is stuk!
Wer be sonic skrewdraiver wen u needs oan?
duz u rilly wants tu noe?
http://www.thinkgeek.com
I haz wun. But I tink it nawt work, it nawt ficks me yet… But it duz rite an glow an say “bwerwerwerwerweeerweeerweer!”
Lifetime warrantee. hmm, so item iz ded, therefoar warrantee over. Onlee last fur life uv item. Haha.
el oh elz, iz immportent foar to reed teh fien printz!
Kitteh in bocks has
Lazer eyes that sez it all
“Got yer pruf rite here!”
Science Kitteh says,
“I likes boks the wai it iz.
Don’t add poizun, thx.”
cats have a saying
“everything cardboard is mine”
paws off the box, bub
If wuz orinj kitteh, mebbe kitteh’s own poyzin wud caounterack poyzin in bawks? (Lyke snakeses immyoon to venom)
Who am shodringer? I can haz questions?
Among other experiments, the group claimed to have prepared a beryllium ion in “Schrödinger’s cat” states–states that are a superposition of two different possible results of a measurement. In the 1930s quantum theory pioneer Erwin Schrödinger proposed his famous thought experiment, in which a cat in a closed box appears to be both alive and dead at the same time until someone observes it, as a demonstration of the philosophical paradoxes involved in quantum theory.
“Mathematics and Physical Sciences.” Encyclopædia Britannica. 2007. Encyclopædia Britannica Online. 25 Sept. 2007 .
But we has observed kitteh and thus collapseded teh superposishun uv states. Sorry kitteh, u hasn’t proved nuttin.
Shud be “Iz in yer bocks, collapsin yer wave funkshun.”
Teh wai I ‘member teh dye-a-gramz, the kitteh camz out ded 100% of teh timz u opnz teh lid on teh boks.
DIE-a-gramz?
snafutti, I tink dat wuz de times dey furgot da fud and ayr fur da kitteh! LOL!
Yesh! U beetz me to it. Win.
*SPLOOF*
mai hed sploded frum da math…
an da koot!
LOL!
Maths & fizzix & kyoot. Dynamite kombinayshuns.
Beecuz dis iz a pikshur, iz dis kitteh ALWAYS inna box? Or duz ower constant vee-ewing change dat two?
oooh….gud kwestshun!!!
He goez away when yu not lukin, like any cat.
Or sumwun in da Hairee Pawter pitcherz!
ICHC subtehroem uv Schrodinger’s Theery: Iz teh kitteh aoutsaid teh cheezburger oar iz teh cheezburger insaid teh kitteh? Wen teh bockx has openz teh superpossishun collapeses; teh cheezburger enterz a quantumnomnom satite & vanishz (into teh kitteh).
quantumnomnom — me lyke. But waht if kitteh on dite? smaller quantum?
Longger procceesssig taim btw cheezburgers.
WIN!
What Schrödinger missed is that observation by a cat is required for a human to be truly alive.
Trooer wurdz wuz nevar spoke.
Aymenz to dat. Also, gentul noze nibbulz required too.
But barfees from hai up in inaccessibul korner of living ruum, at 2 amz no lesses, DAFINITELEEZ not a requirementz! Bad cloudycat!
Uppoz! Did she git into da vial uv radioyacktiv stuff?
Iz yoo in a erfkwayk zone? Why she up inna sky an barfee? Dat spishus sowndin!!!
Noes! Badbarfeecloudycat horks at willz just to be annoyinx and he likez to be up hai! Bad combinashun and very unendeerinx speshully at the wee hours of the morninx. In dikshunary next to badz hiz pikshur is derz. No royalteez dough; wud help pai for carpetz cleeninx dangit.
But – you’re nobody until you’ve been ignored by a cat.
So it works both ways. Or not.
dd, u is full of starz.
Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
(Not bad, eh? Don’t worry. This part of the verse
Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
Win saw that the theory that Newton’d invented
By Einstein’s discov’ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, “Don’t panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
If that’s not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though–my theory permits us to judge
Where some of ‘em is and the rest of ‘em was.”
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E’en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, “Brother, suppose we’ve a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at–
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got ‘em,
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom–whatever–but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder’s sealed. The hour’s passed away. Is
Our pussy still purring–or pushing up daisies?
Now, you’d say the cat either lives or it don’t
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won’t.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, “Tough @#&!
We may not know much, but one thing’s fo’ sho’:
There’s things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons–you’ll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed–
Which ruins your test. But then if there’s no testing
To see if a particle’s moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability–certainty, never.’
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
‘Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
“We’ve just flipped a coin and we’ve learned he’s a corpse.”‘
So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, “You’re nuts.
God doesn’t play dice with the universe, putz.
I’ll prove it!” he said, and the Lord knows he tried–
In vain–until fin’ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: “Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I’ll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he’s in heaven–but five bucks says he ain’t.”
–CECIL ADAMS
Don’t eat the brown acid.
ooh man, teh funnee!
NEwun member Sam’s cat on SG-1?
Aww! The one she gave Narim?
Why there is no Schodinger’s Dog – a creature that has difficulty being in one state at a time let alone being in two states simultaneously. When put into a box with a decaying vial of poison which might or might not release the poison, Shrodinger’s Dog chews the vial thus ensuring it ended up in a dead state every time.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat
I ish still the confuzed.
mee too — but tanks fur da referunz.
Simpler, I hopes.
Erwin Schrodinger was studying Uncertainty Principals and multiple/alternate universes and chaos theeree. He sez, say I has a bocks. I put in da bocks a kitteh, and rig up a vial of radioactive stuff. If da stuff decay, it will kill Puss. If not, kitteh will live. An der an even chans dat de stuff will decay whyl kitteh in da bocks. So den, we seal up da bocks wif foods and water an toys and air, and da vial of yikes.
Is da kitteh alive or ded? Hims poschoolate wuz dat fur as lawng as we cant see da kitteh, she exist in BOTH STATES at teh SAME TIME!!
(Kinda like the atomic tiny things, if you see them, they aren’t there any moar. Opussit of Zeno’s Arrow. Don look at em!)
Wunce we opins da bocks, we nawt unsertin NEmoar. But coud be arrested by ASPCA and NRA!! (umm, dat de nukleyur regyoolatoree admin, nawt de rifull guyz)
Sum da smrt guys sed, hmmm, dis relevant to ma interests. Uvvers sed KA-BOOM, ma hed asplode!
Iz eben simplur – awl ES wuz tryin to eggsplayne (2 odder siens peeplz) waz daht, ebin tho U noze daht haff ov a blok ov Uranium will dekai in a givn time, U dontz noze wehn a spicif Uranium atom wil deekay.
i can has quantuhm theoree of superposishun?
fizzix kitteh taeks awl teh space.
hehe
http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/catvolume
nyce, Teho…mai brane getz bigger frum dis nfomashun. kthxbai
Teho is teh win. As ’scientist in training’ (college is teh waste of munneys, speshully when teh m_m has knowed dis crap since she could read, but i goes anyways!! needs the piece of paper to verify my learnings!!) i is always apply scientific theories to teh kittehs in mai homes. Still not explain anyfink though. Kittehs is enigma. Also been checking out Tehos blog on vox, teho sounds like big friendy bear in videos!! also, masses of kittens?!? WANT!!
fankoo… buts i mus say: Collij not so much bowt wut yoo lern, as much as praktising lerning. hi-skool dat wai too, but collij is teh advansd practiss. dats teh wai i remembrs it, an wuz teh moast valyoobul ting I tuk away frum its.
(The lolspeak’s just for fun, y’know. Don’t let it detract from the message.)
*sigh* i guess dat is true. plus is not all bad…bilology wif zoolology focus interesting class. only 2 more years. then i’s zoolologist…thanks Teho. you is reminds me why to tolerate teh college
i wuz Emvyro Mentul Sci wif sum Bio, maself.
BA tho. no BS.
mai roommate ish environmental science … she is also little crazy, feeds teh squirrels in teh courtyard…named one Bob. neways, needs to sleep…big day of advanced learninks practis tomorrow.
is comon condishun amungst teh tree-hugars, i fink.
nots me, of corss. i wuz nevar weerdo longhare baerfut skipy hipy. much.
…here. i maked you dis string of daisies. meetz me on teh yard in 30, you bringz hakee sak, i bringz geetar and teh vegan munchies. lol
Love Evil Mad! Teh has Mayne Coon, lik me. Smart cookies, too.
mah theeery is taht kittehs am aktuly sumwhar bitween teh likwit and teh sawlid fayz in taht a given kitteh will often konfoarm to teh shaep of teh givun kontaynur
Mah theery, wich supportz URZ, is taht dehr R 4 statez of matter:-
Solyd
Likwid
Gas
Kitteh!
u fergots PLASMA
(…an Poland)
The ref to small weak aliens inside Daleks make that piece brilliant. Srsly.
Way! Butt my very blorto kitteh can cram himself into very tiny boxzez. No folding allowd.
Oh, I LURVE evilmadscientist!!!
And this: http://www.lardfork.com/?p=9#comment-6286
Been trying to convince this guy to make a shirt for ages… doesn’t sound like he would be mad if a few were made and he didn’t have to deal with it….Maybe… Sigh. Cafepress awaits, and I’m impatient!
teh maybe…teehee!
WIN!
Kitteh iz awllwayz
in t3h Bawks. No matturz shayp
orz syze. Dere’z Kitteh!
No wun knoez wie t3h
Kittehz luvvz dayr bawkses. Muss
remyndz dem uv Hoam
Kitteh canz skrunchz down
orz strrretch owtz. Kitteh muss has
t3h cumfurtabillz
Jack.
kitteh ar cumfurtabel. . .reguardlez uv shrcodingaz poysenz.. . lol. snorgle kitteh can haz avoidunz ov teh qwantumz qwandreez. . . lol. nice haykooze as always. .
My cat of the month club shipment just came in!
September is angry calico month!
Awesum win!!1! I can has happy cat next munth?
LOLOLOL!!! Much win and awsum.
Oktobur iz blak kittehs, amirite?
Wif orinj eyeses
And skoleeosis, appurrentlee…
Kitteh iz mad he didn’t get to share Nobel prize. “I wuz berry insparashunall! Why I not win? I gonna pull a Kanye!”
Oh! I lubz dis winnin comment! I wuntz a fuzzy wite lazeh kitteh!
HAHA win!
Though I haz had many angry calickos growin up. Dat b the only kind o kitteh mah parents wud get us. I can has free xchanj?
(Wayt til end uv munth, then they owt uv da Kalikos, and haf to replayc wiv stock on hand!)
Neener neener neener…
I et your shoes…no shoes for you…woulda got the Nikes, but stolz away from me,
now go away
square bocks = square kitteh
Thats teh lifelovers thery . . .
lewlz
Excellent.
3-dimenshunal Kitteh Tetris iz hard.
NEW! from the makers of Bonsai Kittens, the SQUARE CAT! Ideal for bookshelves, under the bed, that space in your entertainment center! Stackable, interlockable — no protruding parts to step on! Comes in Crosspatch Calico, Crabby Tabby, Screemin Meezer, and solid colors such as Whiny White, Poison Orange,Growly Gray, and Bete Noire Black!
Call for de tails!
Makes a great gift!
“call for de tails”
dunt be de tailing teh kitteh! I lyk the kitteh wif tail ON!
Aw…butt Mankses bee so cyute!
I lubz teh NUBZ!!!
Mai bf’s kitteh is haf Manks, haf tabbi, so he’z boarn w/ nub a teeny bit longer den mos Manksies. It floats n twitches jus liek reglar tayl! V V cyute!
Dats funnier den my Ronco “Box o’ Kitteh”
Lurve ur nayme, Capt. Spaulding. Can u stayy or musst u B going?
But WAIT! if you call in the next 90 seconds, we;ll send you a second SQUARE CAT absolutely free!
…just pay a separate shipping and handling charge.
>Lukez round suzpiziushlee< Zome1 zaid “Bonsai Cat”; Wehrez dah Care Trollz?
Kwontum kitteh has collapseded his wave funkshun.
IKEAKitteh iz flatpak for teh ez shipins. Sum asemblee rekwired.
lol!
Greta Garbo Kitteh sayz, “Donchu hab nuffin else too doo? Go wai!”
Does kitteh also has vial of radioaktiv poizin?
Iz part of Schroedinger experiment…
Radyoactibitee in teh eies, and poysun in teh orinj patches… DONT LET THEM TUCH!!!! YU WILL HAS TEH CRITICAL MESS!!
mai god — teh kwantums has gon NOOKLEER!
(seems sorta bakwurdz)
Kitteh observes, “O hai, caltech guys, you still uhlive? pleh.. nawt for lawng.. for this u die in yor sleeps!”
Schrodinger iz not amuzed.
dis hi leval fizzux iz 2 much 4 mah hed. nao wharz eninstien?
“Made yu luk!”
O NOES! Schrodinger FTL!!!
I is nawt sintist, noe moar fizziks tok, iz maykin payn in mai hed. I juz wana luk at prity kalikko kitteh wif layzer ies.
Whu dis Shrodinger joik anyhway, puttin kittehs in bocksis? Call da ASPCA!
”
(meowwwwwwwww, meowwwww-meow…..)
AIIIIII am teh cat
IN TEH BAWKS
beryin mai ****
woant yewww kom and feed meh
(feed meh)
FIIIIIIIIER UP TEH GRILL
tehn go get teh bun
CHEEEEEEEEEEZ BURGURZ
nao yew cooks tehm up
DOO-ooooAAAAANT FURGET TEH FRIEZ
or i’ll hilite ur shooz
FEEEEEEEED MEH NAO!
oar meet teh poynty endz
AIII AM TEH KAT WHO MUST EAT
burgr…whar is IT?
Woant yewww kom and feed meh
feed meh
FIIIIIIIIER UP TEH GRILL
tehn go get teh bun
CHEEEEEEEEEEZ BURGURZ
nao yew cooks tehm up
DOO-ooooAAAAANT FURGET TEH FRIEZ
or i’ll hilite ur shooz
FEEEEEEEED MEH NAO!
oar meet teh poynty endz
hahahahahahahaha so much win heer!
hilite ur shooz….
Many pointz for cree8tvnessablity!
Onlee problem wif shrodingy’s feeree:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/01/13/kitty-has-reached-critical-mass/#comments
Aliss in chayns FTW!!!
Onlee problem wif shrodingy’s feeree:
icanhascheezburger.com/2007/01/13/kitty-has-reached-critical-mass/#comments
Today’s Questionable Content:
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=978
(timing is everything!)
Iz don likes it, an Iz sorree Iz evr has anythin to do wit itz.
I’m in ur kwantum bawks… maybe.
Oh snap! Shroedinger’s ninja!
I prefer zombie killing, kthnxbai.
brilliant
Darn it. I just made “who dis schrodinger?” jokes on the creator bit and here is a perfectly good one here.
WSL
By far the most intellectual of the lolcatz
No way could you keep cyanide in that box long enough to solve the wave equation!
ahahaha you know what’s really sad? I understood the schrodinger reference completely, and nearly fell over laughing. kitteh in box is WAY better then particle in box anytime.
I love it! Where’s teh coding to put on mah mahspace page?
Zilly kitteh. Schrodinger’s parabox onlee counts in quantumn machaniks.
[...] kittehs liek 2 proov schrodinger rong. [...]
i luv teh kitez i r teh kitteh queen i haz 4 kitez at home :p
Nu, nu, kitteh. C, Shrod…Chrod…taht gui, saiz taht 1nce u open teh box, iz eether ded or teh not ded. An he rite.