I iz not alcoholic

…I’z passionat bout wine
photo by: ?
capped and submitted by: Sacha
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…I’z passionat bout wine
photo by: ?
capped and submitted by: Sacha
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

But, kitteh, u too yung to drinks! Human supplyin u wif teh wine cood be in biiiig trubl!!
aww…teh sad trufe is….kittehs bee drinkin yunger and yunger….can gets it frum all kines of peepuls….wee needs too keep karful eye on dem an warn dem how much trubbul it can bee…
An, coars, Kittehz R awl goin about “toold up” wif NEting frawm 18 to 26 vorpal daggers of death.
Vorpal daggers of death, LOL. Does dey onlee wurk aginst manxome foes?
I lernt from watchin u hooman!
Mai downfall. Let me show you it.
drunken kitteh seys “Maiiy show, it letsh me downfall you.”
Mai fake ID, lets me show u it :c)
Ah drinkz… tew kill da painz
I Kan’t remmemmer teh author of tihs pome:
One night in late October
When I was far from sober
Returning with my load with manly pride
My feet began to stutter
So I lay down in the gutter
And a pig came near and lay down
By my side.
A lady passing by was heard to say,
“You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses”
And the pig got up and slowly walked away!
(I’ll drink to that)
Title of pome is “Judged by the Company One Keeps.” By the grate and profilic Anomymouse.
LOL… nw wurd, Anomymouse. He writin a lot of stuffs, n livin a long time, teh crazy ol mouse. He evn older tan micky!
Egyptian kitteh iz in de Nile.
she’s the queen of denial
sh3 is the qu33n of d3nial
is wordpress completely spastic for everyone this evening, or am I just special?
Oh, u r speshul, stend. U r speshul….
LOL!
Awl LOLfrendz R speshul, but U R maor speshul tahn most.
Seriously, I now think issues with this site are mostly due to the voting system. I use other WordPress sites that don’t have a voting system implimented, and they are way punchier to load, and less flakey in terms of how they handle uploads.
“Animal Farm” almost quote FTW!
wee awlwais knowed dat u road de leetle yellow bus
I kannot beeleevee yu left yurself open four this wun!!! LOL
Da first stayge of denile is…denile.
Teh first bottul haf a smell-flavur
of catnip
an varyus nom noms
an teh-newspaper-dat-u-wants-to-reed-dat-i-sits-on
It goes well wif teh meet kibbles,
but with teh fish kibbles?
not so grate akshully
Teh sekund bottul…
I tells u in a minit….
First ah has to lies down furr a bit….
Srslzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Uh, kitteh, first bottul has not catnip flavus. Dats the catnip resydue on ur noz. Bad kitteh. No be snortin the catnip nemore, bad4u!
Oboy – teh whole wurld smelz liek nip!!
kontribyutin tu teh deleenkwensee ov a kitteh iz a feliny
iz feliney
lolz!
This wine has an unpretentious bouquet redolent of lavender, rainy mist and aged Birkenstocks.
I can has more plz? kthxbai.
LOL. I bemember wen wine reviews didn try to describe flavr. Dey talked bout teh wine’s “body” and “thrust,” like dis: “This fullbodied wine has enormous thrust and a sweet finish.”
I didn no whether to drink it or date it.
Nao dey is all about oak an cherry flavrs. Is liek drinkin trees.
Srsly. I reed dem an be liek “Whar yu be tastin dat cherry? I dun tayst no cherry. Dis wine taysts liek…well, wine.”
If’n I wanted to drink a tree, den…wayt…how wood yu drink a tree? Gots ta get bak to yus on dat one.
Alchohol will leave your lief a shambles, and your destiny in dah gutter!
However, as gutters go, this one looks rather nice! Comfy, even!
We will sell no kitteh b4 itz time……ITZ TIME!!!!
wino kitty wants to know:
i can has fine merlot?
very, very passionate…
“… hey baby, you’re looking mighty fine tonight. that a new label? rawr…”
Iz not Merlot; IZ Pinot Noir! Nom……nom……nom!
pinot nom?
I have become . . .comfortably nom.
u eerwurm-flingin bustard.
i’z gonna sends u bak tu muthr inna cardbowrd bocks… u betar run
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/09/25/im-in-ur-bocks-pruvin-schrodinger-rong/
den mama’s got a squeeze box, an daddy nevver sleeps at nite?
hmm.
reachy.
tsk.
reachy, reach-cha-cha, ring rang, wallwalla bing bang.
(revenge of teh tasteless earwormz))
as Cutty sed tu Howse las niet: i iz NOT enaybling u no mors.
Eighteenth Amendment?
DO NOT WANT!!!
Das wai we hab twnyfursted mendmint!
Que? I iz nawt Merrykan; I nawt unnerstanz mentedmintz.
mendmintz r teh speshul condishuns 2 the merrykan constitushun. bery, bery mportunt 2 us merrykans. hope dis helps u. kthxbai
eighteenth sed “u no can has alkeehol” but peeplz had it ennyway. Gin joyntz en rum runnrz en speekeezeez en Al Kapown…wuz lotsa alkeehol en lotsa kryme!
twnyfurst sed “ok dat wuz stoopy idea, u can has alkeehol agen”
I likes teh twnyfurts betta
Manee manee thanx. I noze teh histree ov daht naow: Jst diddnt noze it wuz dunn and undunn by mendedmintz 2 dah Konstitchewshun.
Yeh – funnee thing is, everbodee had to voted – to make the mendmint most of teh states has to say OK. So first time EEEEEEverbody said, “We not want can has alkyhol!!!!”…then teh nex time EEEEEEverbody said, “Oh, well, we didn noe you ment we cudnt has alkyhol, dat wuz stoopy and now weze in a depreshun!!”
Wuz a short time, tu – same “EEEEEEverbody”!
I tink dey also furgots teh peepl who werked at distillaries. Oops, we can have muches unemployment an failed business? Granpa was chemist at Merchants at teh time. Taut chemistry during prohibishun, an den back to teh distillary.
(Gratuitous linkage, cause he was also horticulturist, an I be prowd of him. He developed this dahlia 40 years ago, and it is still for sale!)
http://www.dahlias.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=117
Are u perchance from Austria??
)
Gayla34!!! U r pullin mai legz! Maed mee laff, tho. Wen U sayz it, soundz reely funnie.
2 resist my phunny is futial
)
Gruiss Gott frau gayla. Wie geitts ist einen?
Kitteh haz trubbles wif da corkskrewz. Plz be makin sure to bi skrewtopp nex tyme. Ktknx!
Noes, itz be needings box winez. They has some good ones out now. Teh can be toggled with no thumbs! And no break when fall of counter ’cause are lept upon!
hmmmz…remindz me of sumonez i noes….is me and mai mummy….we lives next door to young son of local wine compny ownarz…wine for all holidaez, deleevared in pretty basket by pretty son of wine ownarz. 20somethings italian heir to vinyard!! WANT!
hope u gets ur vino valentino!
Gud wun!
Der IZ a diffrinse!
Hav sum madeera, ma deer!
Iz shoorlee much bedar dan beer!
musicthattickles.com/Music/CircleGame/07.html
I lurves dat sawng!
Teh Philanderin Swans?
Wot! nobuddy no Philanderin Swans? I luv them like I cuddlin a bottle wyn.
Still needz my lofe uf bred and my thou.
evrywun noes red wine best at rume temprichoor – kitteh is halpin!
Kitteh is wyne cozee
de cat decanter: get em while supplyze last!
Iz muh “Nighttime Snuffling Sneezing Aching Fever in a Bottle So You Can Sleep” medicine
OK: so this is off thread but… does anyone else ever hit ‘random’, go back to say january or so by accident, and marvel at how few and unfunny the comments are?
If you search under “dood” i have for a wallpaper the persian ball of fluff…only 12 comments, (at the time), maybe couple or 3 months ago. The caption says “Dood why you gota be so mean?” It’s not the caption but the kitteh, soooo cute
I heard this site started up early this year? Mebbe why.
we is gettin betta an betta!
we can has mah-choor-itee.
[SNORK]
an less charity. . .
i did that earlier this week. vry few comments, some funny, some not, I don’t think I saw any lolkus. some people still here from teh way back time.
I’ve been doin that, too. Amayin how far we’ve come in sheer brilliance! And notice, too, that LOLkitteh wuz hardlee ever spokened. Sum of mai favoriet pikz are bak tehre. “My son, he has a flavur” is hart-stoppingly charmeeng.
The growth faktor – furst babee steps, now we’z heer. Butt where is “heer?” R we teenajerz now?
I can haz nawt wantin 2 be NE moar dahn teh teenayjer?
We can has Community?
De vino iz gud wif all da tannennenen and da lowrd LDLs frum awl da chzbrgs kitteh eets. We lurn gud tings frum drunkedkat.
red red wyyyyyyynz
stay close to meeeee
don’t let me be alonez
its tearin aparttttt
mah bluuuu bluuu hartttt
redred wyn u maek me feel so fien…
But itz alrite
Cuz itz midnite
An i gotz tu moar bottlz uv wine!
French Kitteh seyz:
I cahn ‘as bottil of 1996 Château de Cheez, s’il vous plaît?
K, merci, au revoir!
Me a wino? Wai, no!
dat eez cyootest drankin buddeh eber!
kitteh taek wine berry srsly…him lives wine…him breeves wine…, him cuks wif wine, sometiems eben put it in da fud! heck, him even sleeps wif da wine…kitteh is con- cona- cuna—him just rly, rly njoyz wine…
Kitteh alkahalimzm: iss a bad fing. Kall 555-MILK ifn u needs halp.
An tehy sed I cuddn’t hold mai drink….
luks lyk yu has a handel on it nao, kitteh
HALLELUJAH! (”Handel’s” Messiah)
goin chopin – be bach leider – yu keep a handel on tings
kthxbai
Bach soon
Offenbach sooner.
same here kitteh. meh too!
Iz da tostkitteh
Iz blak; iz dah burnt tostkitteh?
me too kitty, me too!
Speel da Wein, Teks da Kitteh!
lols, i had this lass nite – highly recommended an a grate valyoo:
http://www.wineloverspage.com/wines/tn.phtml?id=816
pleh. dat wun is fr teh dogs. i be lukins fr dis oen:
http://www.winemakermag.com/feature/146.html
(top uv teh list)
LOL @ teh revyoos:
“Everything imaginable went wrong. Joan’s husband wanted to pour it down the driveway or use it to fertilize the plants but Joan wouldn’t give up on it. She kept adding things until it started to taste better.”
an for the chateau de paws: “a sense of balance that spares it from dismissal as just another California whack-you-upside-the-head big boy.”
Botl ob whine
Frut onna vine
Wen youz gonna letz me get sobber?
Lev me alon
Letz me go hom
Letz me go hom an startz ober!
Liddil Kitteh lykez
t3h smoove bawttilz. Pawz an klawz
slydz effurtlesslee
Bawtillz kynd uv lyke
Teddee Bayur. Wawrm in sunlyte,
butz nawtz so skwishee
Nawt a guud pillo,
ackshuallee. Bawtill maydz
2 B heldz awn 2
Jack.
Iz too hawt today – needed sumthin to cool mah tummee. Dis nise, tho I purfur shampaine.
an i’d rather haf a boddel in fron of me than a frondal lobodomee.
i fink T-bown wud rathr ly down in a feeld of PUPPYS PUPPYS PUPPYS PUPPYS PUPPYS…
Yes, mai beauties, sumthing with poison in it, but attraktif to teh eye, an soothing to teh smell. Puppys… Puppys will be puttin them to sleeps. Sleeeeeps.
Me jus keepz hearin kitteh mutterins, “bowjoolays….”
Mai wein tastin nolege…..let me show you it.
zzzzz…hc….i ar not hevy drinkr…snrt…fft…i’z a konnasoor of teh fienur furrmentid bevrijez, damit….zzzzz
This is outstanding! Can there be t-shirts or posters or something???
I is no alcoholic .. I is a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
An drunks go to parteez.
Yo ho yo ho, share w/ us kitteh
[...] wut? i nawt drunk. i jus appreshiatin wine. [...]
Alkerhollik kitteh sayz: “Mah denile, let meh show j00 it.”
[...] u must be passionate abowt da wine. [...]
[...] u must be passionate abowt da wine. [...]
[...] u must be passionate abowt da wine. [...]