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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
[waits for Stend joke]
ahem. so I’ll try to get the phrasing right this time…
it scratched like heck and the upkeep was a nuisance, but cassandra’s shaved pussy made her feel like a p0rnstar, so much so she didn’t much mind when it clawed at the drapes later
and remember – we NEVER repeat jokes on ICHC ;o)
{CHORUS}
“Oh we never repeat jokes
“We never ever do it, folks
“No sir, we never repeat jokes on I-I C. H. C!!” (repeat)
… not even when teleporting into the CLO-set to talk about FAS-hion with legal pro-FES-sionals in soviet RUS-sia … (la – la – la …)
Teho firsty! There said it for ya…
GRRAAAAAAAGH!!!
there u go dear…a koff lozenge…(unwraps morsel and pops it in)
BLAAAAARGGGHHHHH !!!
no kidings… dem kloraseptikal drops is naztee.
is best served live? Teho is klingon????? Would explains a lot….
BAHAHAHHAHAHA nasty klingon worms for the win!!!
der is no “R” in “qagh”.
deez hoomans… tsk.
er um i meens RRRRAAAAAGHRRR!!!
http://www.a0.vox.com/6a00c2252668128e1d00e398a896300003-pi
wth izzat? lookz liek a cross tween a pike an a manatee, painted by edward munch.
iz FAEC EETAR!!! GRAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Hopes tihs duz nott reappear in mah dreemz tonite. Skarree!
so, howd it go? u sleeps ok?
poor kitteh! Where hiz fur goes?
Pur kitteh! him luks cold! Dis jus wrung!
Same plac as mah sokz, I gues.
fuzzee wuzzee waznt very fuzzee, waz e?
*mmhphfrgrgl*
No – no – I wazn laffin, I wuz clearin mah throat. *snkrmmph*
Iz it warm in here, or iz it jus me? I’ll – I’ll go chek teh thrmostat.
(From next room: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahooboy!)
(Akshully, mah hart hurts for teh pore bebeh. Was him matted? or got sumthin stiky alla over? That sux. Hoap it groez bak fast an his peeps are gentul an pashunt.)
Wuz berry sahd, I had kitteh that shaved like dat.
She wuz berry, berry sik, and was like “I has a flavor – of PLEH” so wud no grrooom and she had looooooooong hares and wuz matted with…well u DO NOT WANT me to splain what wuz mattedd in da furz. We has her lion cut like dis. She DID NOT WANT and cryed a hole lotz, but we gived her a nise blankey to snoogle an stay warms.
I miss Anna…..
But DAMN did she look funnee!!
Ahm gonaz cryeee…
I wuz gonna crye, but den I red last lain.
mah stinkin human tuk my fur but leevs trash n de flur.
I don care if U like dat groomer, he sux! “Jus a trim, reely.” Nex time I sees him I give a trim he nebber furget. Heh.
Check and see if him circle-sized. If not dat’s one trimmen he wont forget.
circle-sized….circle-sized….circle-sized…..
OMG !!! OH !!!!! CIRCLE-SIZED !!!!!
now datz funnnneeeeee !!!
oh dat mean dat kitteh gonna be a Meow-oyl!
now derz a pun i nevar imajind i wud see.
Batman’s kitteh….hey im nekkid…my cape is in the dryer ok…
I feels a draft
lol
Cud somwon gets mee a blankey, pleez. An a aterney.
WIN!!
… any legal professional will do, actooly. preferably an ex-aerobics instructor…
I said LINE cut, not LION cut!!!
loincut, mabeys?
Id raver go nekkid tahn wear fur!
(but kitteh, is ok fur you to wear ur own fur!)
kittehs who don’t kwite get teh konsept.
ut-oh. I’z gonna die! I laff’d!
HALP!
Deez lazer eyes gaon 2 get tehr furst big werck aout
rait
bout
NAOW!!1!!
(zzzzaapppppp)
(cheezburger fans lai bout en gromongous heepz, smokkin gentlee)
naow is mai tern 2 laffs … ahh dat warm me upp nizelee. Next?
me too.
I am officially dead. My ghost is typing this.
Seriously, you all have been bringing teh funneh liek srsly 2nitE! ahz bin laffin mah arse off which iz gud cuz ah needs to lose sum uv mah arse so TANKS1!!!1!1
d00d… I want an ectoplasmic keyboard! Where can I get one??
It’d beat the $#!t out of this flickery electroluminescent jobbie…
Feel so sorries for kitteh! But also has to laffs….sorriez!
Nekkid Kitteh hates
cameraperson. Also hates
owner. And hates you.
i feelz so haytted
i feelz da smokin hayte
i iz cat-chin on da fyerz
angrrst cat ive seen in sum time
Kitteh iz alreddy warmin up teh lazer eizez. Beware!!!11
[YEEMYEEMYEEMYEEM]
Akshually, I bleev dis new kitteh hairstyle (furstyle?). Iz a cat-mullet. Bizness in da front, party in da back!
Pls, no shaved pussy jokes.
too layt!
We gots way too much class for somefing like dat. And if you bleev dat, I has a bridge I wants to sell u.
Nebbermind. I see Stend haz alreddy made de shaved pussy joke. Hmpph
w00t!
i jus hapens tu be in markit fr brijj!
Staies awai from teh lon mowwer. It ebil! Don’t car if it naht on. It ebil!
Hoorablee. Brootalee. Messalee.
Eberywhere you be a lee-a-lee.
Now shutz up and bringz me swetuh.
Funnilee, happilee!
1776 FTW!!!
At least I’ve still got summit u havnt – MY TAIL – AND ITS NOT FUNNY!!
oh no kitteh =( i hoap ur hayr wil gro bakc fast, hoo did dis 2 u n y
??!
i ’s triin soooo hard not to laff poor babie- but I’s must- sowry babie!!
i gunna get rid uv her stoopy noo boifren if its teh last fing i do! “I ar allurjik to cat hair,” him sez. nao luk at meh!! i can has rebenj?
“See if him circle-sized – as above”
An maek it kotton swetuh, plz. Wuul’s itchie and acrilyc luks cheep.
Mebbe Kitteh needz tis tee shurt?
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/9505/
field 1: ZONE
field 2: CIRCLE SIZE
field 3: JIMMY
How bowt bambooo? Iz mostest sawft!!! Warm, but lite. Grows fast, so veree renewabull!
Or moe-hayr? Iz sawft too, berree plush an spensive!
I luvs bamboo yarn! I wanna try teh new corn yarn, too. Soy yarn also gud. Acrylyc yarn = pleh, tho. If dis kitteh’s hyoomin kept teh fur dey shaved off ( i asoomin not matted wit teh yeccky stufs), den sumwhun could spin fur into yarn an knit kitteh a sweater. The ultimate in recyclin.
MarieD – u is a knitter, purrheps? Yea! fur teh altern..substitu.. differunts yarns!
(maiselfs iz a knitter, 2!)
yep. knit, qwilt an embroider….knittin gibs teh kitteh yarn dat twitches invitingly, whiles kitteh lays on qwilt, all soft an warmz. I embroider when I dont want kitteh to help. Im gonna lern to spin yarn so kitteh gets sum aerobic exersise.
?name mai reversin b u for why
me mayself iz a nitter 2! Neber nitted cat hares doh.
Moe-hayr is teh itch – pleh! Cashmere much betterz!
Cashmere/silk mix – bezt for soft and – well – silky, I think. No itchy at awl.
I, too, knitz. I alzo liekz to do teh cownted crosz stich. I uzez moztleh teh Hungarian and Austrian folk patternz. I wunz maeked a 2 1/2′ x 4′ (abawt) wall hangin of “How about dem Moosegoosers” (awl verses) with a byootiful moose and acorn border and elaborate frinj awn the bottom fur a gud frend. Waz a joek, ov corse – but he still haz hangin awn hiz wall. Lukz so byootiful until u getz cloze enuf to reed it! Peepls amazed dat eny wun wud go to such lengthz fur sumthin so silleh!.
moosegooosers FTW!!!!!!! ai habbent thot ob dat 4 yearses and years,
do you member teh 42 POUND FOUNTAIN PEN????????
an his bery bestest ob teh best peom
Isn’t life beautiful ?
Isn’t life gay ?
Isn’t life the perfect thing
To pass the time away?
Mason Williams
Nonono. Sweatr knitten 4 kitteh needs b kittencotton.
Mmm, alpaca an’ llama ar veree warm an sooper soft! A leetle xpensiv, but not as bad as moe-hayr or cashmeer.
I mades mahself a scarf wif alpaca yarn an it be SO warm an soft an cuddly. Does shed a lot tho. Just liek a kitteh.
Awwwh, kitteh. I knitz u swetur. Den u be happitail again.
(but I nawt count on teh happitail part!)
also i are afrayd to gets neer u foar measurings. pls to retrakt klawses.
U knaw wot kitteh will doo wen u putz swetur on…FLOP
(Wazzunt dun… hit rong key!)
Kitteh flop an not muv 1 inch…
sez pleh on ur swetur!
Sez pleh on awl uv yez!
HAHAHA! Lay on one side an not move for nuthin.
Pick kitteh up…kitteh fall down.
Civvil disobeedyence kitteh
is civvilly disobeedyant
lol…Thoreau kitty is thorough
that kitteh is pleh now. i hope him suez hims barbur.
gilette.. de besd a cat can get
Kitteh sez….
Wevenge is teh disk served cooooold.
it will bees ccooold 2 hrs from noaw in ur bed, cuz I go pees init rite noaw.
Sheave me doawn nevah evah agin!!!!!
Ooooh peein in da bed, goooood rebenj!
Oar teh classik: Waitz til you puts on ur stereo hedphonz!
Furst I be pooin in ur shews, den i gonna huck up on ur white carpets, den I gonna do mah stinky pees on ur favorite clothses. When I all dun I will fink of moar fings. Rebenj! I will has it.
Go ahed n laff. Iz peein on ur couch.
huck up!!! I likes dat!!!
I use it from now on!!!
I has always calls de kitty barf huck up, not sure why. Glad u lieks it!
We always called it cat yak…again, not sure why.
It’s teh sound made immediately befor teh presentation: huck, huck, huck, huua-a-a-a-a *splot*
Cloudycat goes “wokkit wokkit wokkit blargh!” Translashun: “I’m gonna hurl! I’m really gonna hurl right naow! Here it comes! Et Voila!” Cloudycat is kinda a drama king.
dis is teh awful.
i lafs much.
Mai Blossom r siamez. Seh saiz verry laoud en n multipul oktivs, “Oawww mai poooaaarrrr tummm! Ai barf raaaaiiii naaaaooooowww!” tehn duz it. Poahr lil kitteh.
Add dat wurd to teh Icannhas dikshunary. I likes it to.
As a noun we calls it kitteh huck. My daughter, she’s 3, always sees it first. Mum! I see kitty huck!
Did NOT laff. DID inhale RLY hard thru noz & had 2 luk away.
I still has more than peeps have – A TAIL – AND ITS STILL FURRY
Awwww poor kitteh bebe. I gib U one a doze new hautee cotoors outfitz dem sissy dawgs be wearin tese dayz, so U be warm nuff.. What Ur favorite colors iz?
Den we takes Ur pixure and U be on Icann and getz awl teh cheeseburgers U wantz. U be WIN! Dats cawled makin lemonade outta lemons, honeez. Stick wifs me bebe, I teaches U whuts whut in dis ol wurld…
I laughed…hard. I can angels singing and everthing is getting dark…..good bye
dat nots ainjl. dat wuz me. but fanks.
If it wuz me singing, yoo wouldn’t think “angels”!
And yoo’d be skareded!!!
Teho MITE sound liek ainjls. I haz herd him speek aun the “Kitteh sittin awn Kitteh” video, n he haz a wunnerful speekin voice – light baritone, seemz to me. I suspeckz he be gud singer.
[blush]
but is nots tru. i singz ok but i sowns liek totl dork. srlsy.
is gud fr Dey Miet Bes Jiuntz stuf tho.
(mah sistr, nao… she can has teh sing.)
Oh sweet pea, you need to find a better groomer. This is just uncalled for.
Kitteh wnt to celebrity harestylist… Britney Shears.
all iz says iz
nefer fall asleap on wet sement
i doan wanto tok abowt it
Tell me for the sake of my own peace of mind that your cat was shaved for surgery, and that you’re not just an asshole.
and aftur u tells us, we cans be callin u Captin Obvyus, cuz it seems purty flippin obvyus nobuddee wud do dis just fer kix.
…or a least dey duz it onleeze once. Dey wood need majur surgery to close kitteh stikker trax on allz parts of dey bodee. (good enuf 4 dem)
Pour kitteh.
the vast majority ob purrsians what come into wrecksque end up looking a lot like dis–cuz dere owners not realize dat dat purrty fur needs taking care ob. so when dey get all matted and smelly (frum, er, well, hot habing enyplace to go othfur dan dem own furs), dey drop dem off at shelters saying, “we allergik,” or, “we moving tomorrow” or whateber….
so yeah, lion-cut purrsians ARE bery silly-looking, but it usually meens dat somebunny cares enuff to make dem more comfurtable and will let dere purrty fur groes back all nice and un-knotted.
(gots two shaded-silber lions in our furront room right now…. insted ob laffing, we twy to do da, “oh, look, priscilla, yur fur has grown anothfur 1/32″ dis week!”)
Cody,
R U legal perfessionel?
Ow! Datz a reel zzzinger!
Thorn dize.
(we mournz)
Poor shavd kittah
Kitty: Quit laughing and get me a sweater dammit!
…and in conklooshin?
DIS IS CAN BE CLASIC THRED.
♥ ♥ ♥[LURVE] ♥ ♥ ♥
howdee…got link to your video JCH4K speaks about? I been you-tubing down da river and see so much funny stuff.
i has powst teh YouTube/CuteOverload vershin befoar — so heer is tel longr vershun:
http://www.teho.vox.com/library/post/hyup.html
I has just one word: O_Ó
I would dearly love to get my hands on whoever did this to this cat. This is very wrong! This is abuse! Stop the abuse!
See above comment about how its likely a long-hair that wasn’t taken proer care of, and the shelter had to go to this extent to get it all cleaned up. Either that or surgeory.
*Laffs* opies di me do taht ou loud?
[...] don let teh shopping worries keep u from laffing [...]
I tried not to laugh, but I started choking on my potato chips.
It turned out to be laughing.
at first i tink dat kitteh look like goblin. i’m ok now but he still sorta freaky…
at first i almost scream cause he so ugly, but now he just so funny!
eek, sorta scary…
Iz fine NOE humer in dis at all!!!!
lol that is funny! i kinda wanna shave my fluffy cats whiskers just to see what he looks like ~ 0
U
hey theresa111, the cat could have just been knotted beond belief and they could do nothing but shave him. my long hair gets horrible knots, and i just cut them off. i would shave him because he’s so badly knotted from rolling around like a retard, but i dont think we own a shaver. :] i highly doubt this was animal cruelty. even so the animal cops cant do a thing because shaving your cat is not cruelty. im sure they had a good reason to shave this cat. i know your feelings on animal cruelty, and if it was anything bad i would find out who they are and report them. i own 14 animals, most we adopted from people who couldnt take care of them or picked them up off the streets (all were checked for disease and got their shots), so yea i care!
How could you do that to your cat? That’s horrible!
[...] hao dar u laff at me? [...]