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Oweeeeee!
*giggle*
Hoo puts dore in wai? Windowe kleenerz shud is illegalz.
Stoopid byrdz…..
I can has comurshal repharanz?
doze dam croes!
Ya riht
OMG LOOK – THE BEFORE SHOT
OMG LOOK – THE BEFORE SHOT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-q6LT4k81as
OMGROFLMAOBBQ! dat kitteh wuz not so ful ob grayce. but she fink to herselv, “ai ment to dew dat”. U alays findz da bestist stuf, Stend! Such a gud troll u iz! heh.
Again – u oudoez even urself! Dat wuz a 3 snerter fur mee!
My tailz….
Where it GOES?!1!
Whoopseeeee!
(and sekundz later – sit, sit,sit, lick, lick, lick, clean, clean, clean – so nonshaluntly!)
Yes, I surtinly ment to do dat. Mhhm. Me iz stunt kitteh!
U DINNOT SEE TAHT
graceful kitteh has an ungraceful moment…
f*#kin’ meow!
“I meant to do that…that’s exactly how I meant for that to look.”
Carlin ref FTW!
Nawt mee hellz no! F**K that I’z a cat.
I lub dat Carlin rootine.
Jorjj Karlin had teh beed awn teh kittehz…behyn teh kowch iz kitteh recubbery klinik!
wel sed
Ain’t dat teh truuf.
I wz testin theory taht kittehs alwayz fall on all fourz. I disprooved it.
Yes – I MEANT to do THAT!
invisible window
Haha kitteh, I am laffing at yoo not wif yoo. Srry but itz troo.
I has choowing gum stuk 2 mai foots?
Um…I ment 2 du dat…
TEH CLAWWWW
Mai foots is coming to gets meh! Luk, mummah! I mus attack!
AIEE!!!1! dah claw eez ebil, muss styck all 5 pointee ends intu eet!
Um….or at leest da 4 I is finds!
*** ooch, ach,, libble higher, SIGH ****
Ah luuurrves teh wai teh sun bounzing off teh wyndow warms meh harbles.
Mai kitteh doz not have any harbles, she’z a gurl!
an why they be saying harble warming is a inkonveeyent troof?
Uzed to haf a kitteh hoo luffd rolling arown on sun-warm seement. Mebbeh dis kitteh da saem?
eez dat wen dey has tu mausch catlua n creme or juss regoolarz? ^^
Me, I fink kittehs be in alturd state jus normly. Nip and catlua maeks dem regoolar, so to dem, it feels liek drunk feelz to hyoomins. Dis maek sens?
we can hads dis theeree in hi-skul: awl kittehs is trippin harbls, awl teh tiem. esplains a LAWT.
Mah braynwaves – dey whut?
I agree, Antwonette, kittehs in altured stayts alot. But katnip meks dem liek iz E fur kittehs…. “Ah lurv disssss, an Ah lurve diiiiisssss, an Ah lurve daaaaat….” All luv an rollin arown!
mah kitteh 2 – rolz on sydwak an in sand, 2. Mmmm, kumfy
Forcefeeld kitteh dun kno heemz own strengf…
Catner sez: “kitteh can no bim through farcefeeld… so dun trys it!”
mah harbalz, let me sho u dem fru deez invisleh divize…
MIND DA HARBLS!
i TOADALLY ment to do that. Srsly.
Foot to Head!
yes, i too have kneed myself in the head. it really is totally embarrassing.
Oh, look at the time it’s KICK TO THE FACE O’CLOCK!!!!
Whut yu meen, aksident? I tewtully ment to do dat.
I haz a foot, u seez it?
Mai foots, let me show you them
last wurds herd by steve johnson yesterday in teh doorway of cheef editor’s offiss.
Yes, indeedy, We willz nawt so easily furgits teh “Stoopy Steeb.”
Ohhh, Mai! Fur VERy funnie pikshoor – reed “last wurds herd by steve johnson in teh doorway of cheef editor’s offiss . . .” – den see teh boss showin him hiz footz, den quickly go up and luk at teh pikshoor. Iz PURRRRfeckt
My dog did this once. She was doing laps through the house, going out the kitchen door, through the back yard, coming in the open sliding glass door in the bedroom at high speed, then zooming through the house to the kitchen again. It was funny at first but then I got tired of it and shut the sliding glass door, not even thinking about what would happen next. I was still standing there with my hand on the latch when she came around the yard, full speed ahead, and BLAM. I felt so terrible but I laughed for at least an hour. (She wasn’t hurt, except maybe in her dignity.)
This picture/caption combo, combined with that memory, are very much full of win.
Silly doggeh! Cannot run fru glass!
My cat did that…twice in one evening. He liked to sit on the window ledge in the kitchen, but it was getting chilly closer to dinner time, so we’d closed the window. He jumped into it, fell off, and wandered away, like he’d meant to do it. Then, no more than 10 minutes later, he did the same thing. Silly kitteh.
MMemreezz, all alone in da window, Ah furgot dat dey closed it, now Ah’m walkin alone…..
My dog once ran into the sliding screen door. He was just trotting towards it and not even paying attention when *BONK* he hits it. He shook his head, sat down, and looked at me like “Open the door please?”
Heh. My cat did this, too. He was on the porch, and got scared by the sound of some happy, shrieking little trick or treaters, so in his mad dash for the house, he failed to notice that the door was not open. Bonk!
Akshully, Im jus trying to get a tan in sum difikult-tu-reech-areaz. Thatz all. Seriusly.
Awwww….. so sweeeeeeeeeeet
Hed, sholder, nees and tows, nees and tows;
Hed, sholder, nees and tows, nees and to-oh-oh-ows,
N i’s an eers an mouff an noz;
Hed, sholder, nees and tows, nees and tows.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAHHHHHH!!! EAR WURM!!!
GET OUT! GET OUT!
TOTALLY.
My sister is a first grade teacher who has a two year old, and I see them both everyday.. TELL ME ABOUT IT!!
Helm, spaulders, greaves and spurs, greaves and spurs,
Helm, spaulders, greaves and spurs, greaves and spurs,
Visor, gorget, breastplate, CUP!
Helm, spaulders, greaves and spurs, GREAVES AND SPURS!
Oh my!!!! I not herd dat verzhun b4! GUD!
spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch . . .
Face, crotch, wallet, and watch…
cell phone, multi-tool
watch out for the swimming pool
drive to work, not too fast
8-to-5 can kiss my ass
now DATS hevy metul.
SCA verszhun fur da WIN!!!
Invisibull curcis bawl.
win!!!!!!!1!!!!
Yoo fink dis funnee? Hope u fink teh presunt I left in ur shooz is funnee too.
I stumbelded pretending to stumbels, but den I fallded, nawt meening to fall.
ha! ey feel lyk dat alotz – ey haz veztibyooler dizturbenz. BPPV, rly, srsly.
LOLCATS!
Haf u bin borked by indvisible force feeld?
Is sliding bork-devise standin bitween u and u’s nom recepticle?
At De Peeple’s Lawyur, we can HALP!
We will reprusent u in court and ensure MAJUR SETTULMINT!
Whichiver hoomin owns teh indivisible force feeld will be made to gives u
MANI MANI CHEEEZBURGR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We takes no pai-mint unless settulmint is ACHEEVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(then we gets 50% of cheezburgrs & mebbi sum moar….)
Call 1-800-BORK_LOL NAO!!!!
Srsly
Kthxbai
p.s. call naooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! 4 major chzbrgr WIN!!!
win! awsum! win AND awsum! All in one!
win!
Call your Legal Professunal now!
Deer Peepuls Lyur
I seez yr ad in Teh Catshunal Enkwirur an wuld lak to maek an apoyntment to tawk wif wun of yr repursen – rippre – peeplz.
Mah hyoomins not onlee have inbisibul borkers between me and teh pattyo but alzo hav inbisibul borkers in mennee rumz in teh howse wher I let them liv in wit me, so that oftun wen I wan tu go owt an bite a birdee or skwullur I find mahself inkonve – incomveen – stoppd. An when I try to skratch thru the inbisibul borkers mah claws make a reely nassty noyse.
So I wud liek to find owt how to maek them taek away the invisibule borking things and get recomp – reemune – payed bak for mah payn an suffering not to menshun loss of dignitee which as yu know cawses grate mental angwish.
If you make them give me menny cheezburgerz I will giv you sum. As menny as I think you desurv.
Yrz trulee,
Me
Teh howse wif my smell on teh frunt steps
Mah street, Mah town
De Peepl’s Lawyur wil be happy to tak on ur case.
Ur payne and sufferins is a serious matters.
Me is reccom… rekku … thinkin u shud wear a nek brace fingy.
Fur to capitu… katipul… make a win of teh sympafee of teh juree
Furst, small mattur of Peepl’s Layur hafin to appeers befor Kalifornia Law Board.
Sumfink abowt ‘not lisunsed to practish laws in state of C”
Minor ishoo, i sort out soon.
Then, onwurds, to land of Milkshakz & Cheezburgz
Kthx
Dere Peeps Laiyur
Yu can tell teh Bored peeps that I iz not in a state of C, I iz in a state of extreem discomfurt frum bonkin mah hed. Also I wud prefur not to hav a liyur who is jus practisin. I want wun hu alredy noes how to get cheezburgers for reel.
Are yu shur yu wuld want sum of mah cheezburgurs? If mah hyoomins made them they mite onlee taest gud to me.
Fank yu veree mush.
Me agin still.
I am giggling helplessly at the many “bork” references in this thread. Excellent. Great mood-lifter and headache-go-awayer. Thank you all for being so damn funny.
u can has bork!
http://www.squidgrid.com/images/misc/sureispeakswedish.jpg
LOLOLOL
This were nicely quite noticabobbly funnee until I gotted to end. “Address” make me laff guffaw many loud. Are sooooo much like to how the way kittee would think from his address.
“Uf caws is good complete address. World revolvers around me, my address is very much the obvious.”
Datz funnee!!! U getz 20 cheezburgers 4 dat!!!
LOL!!!
(Sniff) My bootiful coat protects me and muh um padding, thank you very much….
My dignity not so much.
luf dis wun – WIN!
And he’s…. stopped just shy of the first down! They’ll have to punt!
Luks liek Lucy wuz holdin da bawl fur da Charlie Brown punter Kitteh!
thys krakt meh up!
Plz not S. Janakowski furr teh field goal.
He is not so gud, aktually.
It may be siyuntifick, but I nawt progressin much heer!
Im ok … Ill jus wayt heer til it snowz …
(hey, sorry if someone already asked this question, but is TCF all borkied again? Can’t get past pink cowkitteh … not that there’s anything wrong with pink cowkitteh … I want pink claw covers now, too …)
i can get past it either, Luv. Been wonderin if votin page is borked, or if the cheezes just haven’t had time to go thru the gazillion entries they get every day. I am inclined to believe that it is the latter. jus sayin.
invisible………..well, com on, uf corse its invisibul!
I din fal, iz nu yoga rooteen. Feel teh bern!
Who sez dats where da sun don shine?
Not to be Debbie Downer….
My friend’s cat broke her neck and died after running into a patio door.
RIP Callie
Sorry about poor Callie… :’(
But dis iz mai Kitteh Melusine and she’s fine, she was just sunning herself, not running into doors.
Dis very sad…is like when kittehs fall owt winnows from jumpin after birdees. Hyoomins need to think ahead for their fur families sometimes. We has to be teh wuns to maek things safe. *sigh*
Altho in mah howse there is a distinkt line of snoofel marks on all teh glass surfises where the kittehs rub ther noses. Is verree hard to get owt evun wif Windecks. And it maeks it EZ to see if teh glass is closd!!!
Is verree hard to get owt evun wif Windecks. And it maeks it EZ to see if teh glass is closd!!!
Which is the argument I use to NOT clean the windows.
“I CAN’T wash the windows! The critters won’t know the door is closed!”
Actually, both the cat and the dog have been known to rush out the patio door only to find the screen door closed. That isn’t a BONK so much as a SPROING.
Very Sad – but good warning!!!!
hahahaha ise luvz it!
demmit, next tiem u waks da flur, u bettur telz me furst!
Gravitee. I has it.
[wait for it]
oh noes!
[waaaaaait for it...]
gravity has meeeeeeee!
glass door sez:
“mi inertia
let me show you it”
So much LOLz!!! +5 burgerrS!!!
Dignitee. I has it not.
HEY!?!?!? who turn on the force field?
His Fluffness taeks walk
luks at sky and dusnt see
tosst banana peelz
Phasers on stun onlee.
Don’t ask, I was havin a Kirk moment. Oh noes kitteh gitz up! Kirk see u in cawmpromizin posishun!!! He’ll screw anything!!! AAAAIIIIIEEEE!!!!
Oh NOES!!!1!!one!!! Mai brane!!! Needz brane bleech nao.
yo! kwit skrooin arownd wif dat kamra, git owt heer an gibs meh a tummeh rub!
(our Mugrosa-kitteh lubs to lay awn her back, awl 4 paws extended. tummeh rubs ar dee rigoor. resistans ar yoosless.)
I wuz thinkin whut a plushy fluffeh tum this looks like and how nise an warm it wud be frum teh sun…mmmmgud snorgle-belleh.
Thot I git mysef a snak
Stead I got my hed a crak
neerly hadsa hart atak
o bein kitteh’s hard!
[woh woh]
hard as dis ol pain of glass
cleerly nockt me on mai ass
waitin 4 teh pleh to pass
o bein kitteh’s hard!
(I can’t stop the Poemachine!!)
To teh kichun I wuz scootin
Learnt a ting frum Isaac Newton
Body in motion went kablootin
Resistance halted my inertia
Now I look like katz frum Persia
Let me tellya, I ashurs ya
Bein kitteh’s hard!
ICHC needs a band, and right now.
PS: “Poemachine” = The Pit and the Pendulum?
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN!!!!! Jennifffuurrr, uz teh awsum!!!!!111!!!
Although I heard your verse more as a blues riff as opposed to poe-etry. *runs away*
O mai goodness. Ise been from one end of this universe to teh odder, and Ise seen a lot ov funniez, butt I ain’t nebber seen enything taht maed me laff this much!
blooz iz poetree. wher u goes?
dat uz DEFUNITLEE ful ob da WIN!!!!1!!
wels… i do can has wun kweschin: “kablootin”??
I can has poetic license? Really meant “kaputin” as in kaput.
kablootin… kaputin… capuchin… Rasputin…
dis not computin
They has the new blue glass cleaner
Once again, gravity acting badly.
no fairz, owna put a cheezburger on ofver side and me no see glass, just burger. Call meh a lawyur, gonna sue Windex, for werkin too gud.
Oh … *sad smile* … that makes me miss my bebbeh gurl. Her name ees Bonk. I moved to West Coast and my parents have her in the midwest. I bring her and her seester Kissa as soon as I can, but … *sigggh* I miss my girls.
Sorry I no have a funny.
“Of all the glass doors in all the cities in all the world….
She has to walk into mine.”
izzat u, Noir Cat?
[...] u needs invisible force field [...]
cursez ur hooman inveschuns!!!
i not human i fampire
oopz silli kitteh lol lol lol lol she finkz to self i did dat purposely i swearz
Humpy Dumpy sait onna wall…….how da res go?