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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
One Eyd Jack sez ARGH!
Oh ai hadda kitteh maned i ied jack…….corse hiz ful and kompleat mane waz “Teh 1 Ied Jack, Hoo Stollded Mai Hart Awayz” caus he waz a floofy whytie kitteh hoo hazd 1 bery bery bluu ei n waz teh lubbiest and cuddliest kitteh who evah pranceded teh plannet……..he n “Loco, Aliases Beest, Sun ob Draggon, Cat ob My Catz” were wif me at teh saime tyme…..Loco waz longy hared black kitteh n Jack waz a longy hared whyte kitteh …………dey waz the bestest ob frennz ……..dey wate four me at teh rainbow bridge……….
Ey B teh Dread Pirate Roberts!
Jus poynt me towards teh ROUS.
ROUSs FTW!
i nots bleev dem exists.
I feels stoopy, cuz I dontz knowz what iz thiz ROUS or thiz FTW. Plez halp thiz noobee. thx (hidez in stolen buket)
ROUS: rodents uv unusual syze – see book or movee Teh Princess Bride
FTW: for teh win – see phrases and memes we cite to teh point of meeninglessness
Yea, ScotchAndMoreScotch, GBTA (Grate BRAINZ Tinks Alik)!11
FTW is “for the win”? guess I’m too much of a noobie, too – i always thought it was for “F the World” and couldn’t figure out how that applied!! LOL!!!
Deer Sillygrrl, yew not stoopy, jez type letterz in googly-thing and owt pop (cultur) refz!1!
The Princess Bride (1987) – Memorable quotesButtercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s? Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist. [Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him] …
Ai has meny funz lukkin up awl stuf ai not shur of from ICHC!!!1!
I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.
sumfing i needz to tell u… i are not left-pawed!
sumfing you needz to no as well… I’m not left-pawed either…
As yu wish!!!
enytiem sumwon maek refs tu Teh Primsez Bryde, i cant halp buts giv 5 cheezburgs. is liek gets-outa-jayl-free card.
i has a weeknes.
(comverslee, “In Sovyet Rusha” alwaiz gets teh oposit treetment. is simpul neejork reyakshun.)
In sovyet Russia, neejork reyakshun has yu!
(can’t beleev nobudy deed this yet.)
[deep, primal, continent-sized GROAN]
u keep usin’ dat word. i do not fink it means wat u fink it means.
“Fezik, do you think there are any rocks ahead?”
“I don’t know. But if there are we’ll all be dead!”
“That’s it! No more rhyming! I mean it!”
“Does anybody want a peanut?”
StrokeCat can’t feel half his body. :-0
completely inappropriate disability humor FOR THE WIN !!!
Jean Chretien kitteh is in ur parliment, leadin ur Canadia
POLITICALLY incorrect — and funneh. But in attack ads frum uther party — not funneh. Enny uther Canucks heer ‘members dis?
Jean Chat-tien: teh only Canajan wif 2 second langridges.
Noes!! kitteh has Bells Palsy… not permnent, n jus face!
(Aside in non lolcat: my daughter had two strokes when a baby – see daphnestory dot com if interested)
Donut wry, tho iz not fendid. I grantz my vry authoritative prmishun to proceed wif cmpletely inapropryate hyumor.
Jenny, so sorrie to hear abowt yr daughter. Yor cattitude is very refreshing. Thxs fur sharing.
Thx. Don be srry…. she happy n luved, iz there rlly more? Sides, politcal crocteness iz dtrmental to funnys, n dis site make me laf!
that’s refreshing – I was waiting for psycho K to jump out and go GHARRRRRGHHH !!! ;o)
Yeah, ur catitude is a good cattitude! Needz moar ppl like dat to make wurld funnee playse.
Sumtymz lyf be eezier to taek wens you laffs at it. Iz gud coping skilz.
Daphne’s a cutie-pie!
Say, didn’t I see you guys’ story on Mystery Diagnosis on the Discovery Health Channel, or some program like that?
Thx! Yes wuz us!
teh kewlz! selibrtee heer on ichc.
Wow, we standz in awe, an awwwww, at yoo an yoorz! Lurve an happee iz best part uv life, nuffin else matturz!
An I tink yoo haf put it bestest, dat PC is detrimentul to funnee, an dat why we mus fite it wif laffter. Den it get embearassed an goze away! “Point and laugh, children!”
Hugs to yoo!!!
I thawt I rekinized hers purty orynj hayr! An her preshus lidl smyl!
currajus stry 4 teh win! mai God bles u & ur dotter muches!
i is also teh gimp (I can has cyborg?) and gives permish to be toadally insensetev if it is for mad lolz
I not reveal my majick powerz though. mebbe u findz out organecally.
ur 7 daiz erlee, pyrit kitteh!
(but we cans maek alowinsez)
Das whut I wuz gonna say!
GHARRRR – I AM A FLOOFY PINK TROLL
kawaii!
Teho mentioned this earlier, but if anyone is feeling trolly, or just wishes to play a troll
http://www.topix.net/forum/source/chicago-tribune/TMHJHEO52N31LPLNV
I just told this guy his research skills make Jayson Blair (of the Times plagarism and falsification scandel) look like a good journalist ;o)
GHARRRR !!!
I gotz ta agree wit u, stend…WTF…doesn’t luk like he knows how to write an interesting sentence either..
not yellow jurnalisim….*issy jurnalism !!!
FTYUCK!!
Stoopy peepl doesn’t unnerstan hoomer. They mines is too litteral. Dey speshally doesn’t unnerstan wordplay. Eveyboddy that loves ICHC has teh big brane, and all bee reel clevver! An also verry sweet.
That stoopy reportter jus too dumm to see teh hoomers.
The guy can’t even write coherent paragraphs. they jump all over the place. What a piece of crap.
And he SO does not “get it”
and he gets PAID for this drivel!
mah sens of humoor. let me show u it.
mebbe u like to borrow it? u do not seem 2 hav 1.
and that makz happy cat sad.
Maybe steve jonson was bit by poisonus orng kitteh az child, n has remaned antagnistic twrd kitteh, r mabe he alwayz dreemed of strtin a lolsqwirrel website n success of lolcats dashed dreems. Mabe, jus mabe, is closet kitteh lovr one day to be fon in bafroom taking pikchur of kitteh in sink (prvert!)
Dere was that wun ting he sayd in teh article that wuz much funny — oh, forgets it, it wuz qwote from ICHC site: “call mah lawyer” from kitteh bein dunked in baftub. (stll getz me)
Jenny, u R so bad…luv that steve jonson iz a synk prvert !!!
I tink he iz oranj!
Oh an kleerli doznt haz ne frends wit kittehs, or maibee jst doznt haz ne frendz?
Agreed. I commentd wif dis:
“What’s so terrible about Precious Moments, anyway? They may be terribly kitschy, but they’re not hurting anyone and plenty of people like them.
From your article, I gather that all the “research” you did was glance at the front page of ICHC and make your judgments from that. Like Stend said, did you even read the comment threads? They’re full of literary allusions (such as Hemingway, Joyce, Kipling, Steinbeck, Eliot, etc), cultural references, and meta- upon meta-references. However, it seems that you think adults just aren’t allowed to be silly or to purposely use kitteh pidgin. It’s a great stress reliever and provides many laughs after a long day. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to read it. Nobody’s forcing you.
Relax and find a sense of humor.”
Perfect!
Amen. (A-kitteh, too.)
You speak for many with that comment, I’m sure.
Kitteh sez, “Mmm. . .pidgin. . .” *nom nom nom*
“not unfunny”?
I has sens ob hummor. I haz laff 2. I showZ it to yuz. Furst, corner of mouf go up. Den sound come from bellie. Sound lik dis: Ha Ha Ha. Try it, yuz will like it
I tol him now wunner teh (s)noozpaypurs are loldinos. Tehy allus get it rong!
Wahhh, people are having fun on the Internet talking to each other and not being all serious and visiting the Chicago Tribune or even buying the dead tree version and reading every article as gospel even though we hand out 1 million coupons and color ads every day and we are losing revenue and no wonder the world is going to he|| in a handbasket and what am I gonna do with this stupid journalism degree when this (s)newspaper goes belly up? What a world, what a world. {melts}
omg, check out teh first “ad by google” in teh middle of ohhh Steve’s article:
Get Rid of Cats Now.
Keep Cats Out of Your Garden. Stop Cats Litter Abuse – Easily.
http://www.Get-Rid-of-Cats.com
made of lolsum!! I has blog post about Stoopy Steve.
Stend, how yuz gotz so full of da funniez?
is sydafect of teh antymattr. maeks u sily in teh haid.
Iz keepin my i on youz! (sorry. Couldn’t resist.)
Be sure to keep it safe whilst its outta my socket, kthx gbai
Has ye seen me eye patch?
Invisible eye patch.
OH NOOEEEESSS!!! DEY BEEN TOOKEN MAH EYE PATCH!!!
Iz o-tay..itz in teh bukkit!! Da 1 on da poopz dek. (Poopz dek…Watch yur stepp…oopz nefur mind!)
“invisible eye patch” has to be the APEX of absurdity. or, in Ohhhh Steve Johnson language, dis maek no sens an i nots gettit.
Hehe, I luvs teh Long Johnson Kitteh. Oh, Don Piaaanooooo! Perhaps Don Piano haz kitteh’s eye-patch?
lolz! ooohhhhh steve johnson why i eyes you all teh livelong day?
Here’s the video that shows why Oh Don Piano is so pissed.
In case ICHC eats my post with the link, search YouTube for 964uCtgsDoE for the long version that shows why Oh Don Piano is so pissed.
Oh, pittypat, that wrocks!!! OhhhhhSteeeveJooonsn. WhyIeyesya!!!!”
Too funneee. Why I eyes ya is wun ov ma avatars, makes me laff so hard evrytiem, hubby jus stayrez at me liek I a freek. Well, hunnee, das why he marreed me, si iz ok! LOL!
Donnnnn pppiiiiaannnnooo…..got me in deeep deeeep trubbles at teh libbary a few monce ago….me n a fren wer laffin n laffin and teh libbary ladi wazgettin soooooo mad on usuns. n haz anybuddies seed teh kitteh hoo flushes abd flushes n flushes teh toylet??? dat had us chortlin
too loud two!!!! itz on you tube two, butt ai don now how to makez teh link….sigh….ai are puter illliterut
if it’s the the APEX of absurdity, the it definately belongs on ICHC…
Oh Don Piano maekz me laff liek silly fool befoar 9 ayem. Ai maekup runnin down faes an all.
Gud ting awfiss mates alreddy noes I’m koo-koo.
Damn! Wy my driverz licenze pitcher alwayz comez out so bad?
ROFLMAO… i sais u wins!
lovez it!
Iz et awlredee Pyraet Speek Dae???
tawk like a piraet day iz not untill septemember 19?
o wel we selebraet urly.
Y it “tawk lik a pir8″ NEwai? Klim8 Chang iz nawt kawzd bi lak of pir8z; it kawzd bi lak of lizenzd privateerz. Reeli; dehr R mor pir8z nou tahn in dah 1700z, butz no1 isuz leterz of mark NEmor.
paws4thot, u iz wunnderful. I has been wunnderin wut caws globble warming. Now I noes. I fink I turn up teh AC now an drive aroun sum more. Mebbe if we rites to Prezzydunt Bush we can has privateers? Is logickle forren polisy and us cud keeps teh greenhouse gases.
also… http://www.a5.vox.com/6a00c2252668128e1d00e398a638750004-pi
(yez yez, is pooterchopt. i dint wants to p!ss owf teh cat. soo meh.)
Skweezy kitteh iz skweezed!
awww, purtiur den jawny dep
errr…johnny and others made not have an accord with that
My name is El Guapo (Ref: The 3 Amigos – Sorta kinda pirate humor, southwestern style)
Guapo = Handsome (Spanish lesson for today)
DIDS SUMBUDY SEZ “EL GUAPO”???
http://www.spatch.net/cattown/episode1.html
Oh muh goodiness…FTW…an attack of cootness done seized me!!
The odda el guapo from Steve Martin movie is more crass:
one of el guapo’s “lady” asks sweet innocent miss: “do u no what 4 play is?”
“Nooo…..”
“Don’t worree…neither does El Guapo”.
errr. overshare ya think?
hurr hurr hurr
oh noes, not cat gang!
Te hohoho Uz maid me hahaha
Dat wuz so much phun
That wuz berry good pretendtobebadwriting
Thx of de share !!
Bwahahahaha!!! Those episodes R teh funnee!! Tanx, Teho!!
dem is nots mien, u noes, but can has much funey
“Jefe, wud u say i has a plethora ov Peenyataz?”
El Gato El Guapo!
err… In Soviet russia, pirate has u? I got nothin.
aha! In soviet russia, piarte-like facial tic has u!!1
mabey shuda kwit wiel u wuz behynd.
(is becum veryvery hard tu skweez anymoar funey outa dat dam ISR gag)
wel is tru!
Not sur bout daht; maybee needz mor laturil tinkin, lik dah Rushiun reverzez daht notz menshun Rushia.
ISR + lattrul finkin = Rushin Elektric Slyde??
oy… i can has drink? (okays, wodka is fien…)
>opNS Freezur 4 wodka bottl<
Just call me Mad Eye….I’m Moody
ROFL!! Hairee Potter ref. FTW!
arrrr!!!11111 arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. yu killz meh.
blarrrrrrrrrrrgh. i am ded.
no sersly. i lufs moody.
KONSTENT VIJILLNSZ!!!!!!
R U in Schrodingeer’s baux? Iv so, deht we haz dah ansir; dah kitteh iz veree mush alives, an iz p1$$ed!!!!1!
on ur pirate ship, givin the kitteh some rum and captioning teh oter unes!
otter wunz?
Pir8z haz bukkitz, so maibee dah otterz iz deht 2 steel dehr bukkitz 2?
Parlay!
Thrust!
ho ha gard turn paree dojj spin…
actually, screw the Bugs Bunny ref. I just wanna see Stend in a T-shirt that simply has a quote of his last comment, in giant block italics.
(OK, while shaking hands with Dick Cheney.)
(Roaring drunk.)
in an airport restroom . . .
can has a wied stanz?
Pitypat wif teh punchliyn! buts i hoep dis not laffin at Stend’s esspenss…
hay i not be laffin at stend’s penis!
(no but reely, no malliss heer, luvs teh stend an awl hiz partz).
i sed ESSPENSS. not peenus!!!
u noe, lyk u doan hafsta pay fr lunch if u fil owt teh esspenss repoart?
jeez
An wunce agin we visit teh dangurzz of nawt bein rilly rilly carefulz wit teh lolspeaking.
*hands Teho some cHocklit*
…altho Teh Peenus Siez repoart myt maek sum of teh daily tedyum mor bareable.
(see wut i did ther? i fink i jus figgrd owt wut “TPS” stans for!)
An wunce agin we demonstrayts teh dangerz inherrant in not bein cayrful whil usin teh lolspeakin.
*hands Teho some chocklit*
ohhh da humor that is this place is gonna killz me…hahaha..Teho u is not only on fi-yah, u is it.
I hereby give everyone on ICHC blanket persission to laugh at me, at my expense or not ;o)
in exchange, I get to make shaved pussy jokes, etc…
( oh, and you don’t even want to know what I bought at the s3x shop this afternoon – and no, I’m not telling. it definately led to a very lengthy and detailed series of conversations at the gym this evening )
I thot Stend’s haz a bonus mp3 playur clippt to it, or to other nearby nether reejuns…..
u mispeld “bonus”
u sed ::THRUST
dat rilly drievs u insay-ay-ay-ay-ayn…
weal i waz wakin down teh streat jus a havin a think
wehn tehis snake of a gui gav mee an eval wink
hee shooka me up hee tuk mee bai suprise
hee had a pikup truk an teh devils eyes
hee stard at mee an i felt a change
time ment nothin nvr wud agin.
btw stend, about waht yu sayd teh otr dai… yu can has ANY of mai ex-boifrens. but tehn agin, i likes yu. so mayby yu shuld stays awy frm tehm.
RHPS FTW!!
Enjoy your trip Whiskers!!
less do da tiiiime waaaarp agaaaaaain!
Parrot? Dere r no parrot on dis ship!!!
at leest…not eny moar.
*burp feather*
hes not ded. hes restin.
FTW!!!111!
hes pinin 4 teh fjordz………..
Luk! Dah Norwejean Blu likz zleepin oah itz bak!!!1!
“‘e’s shufld off dis mortul coyl, run daown teh curtin and joynd teh bleedin’ kwyer invisibile!! DIS AR AN EX-PARIT!!”
btw…..have you peeps seen that alex the parrot died??
yah. thas yung for an afrikan grei. poor parit.
iz it speek liek a lolpirate day?!
My mind borggles at thought of lolpirate speech. Is horribobble, is non-natural, is inhyoomane!
Is very very funny. };-)
Smooth kitteh iz smooth.
Smooth kitteh wundurz y gurlz dun lyk ‘im.
Ever been to sea, Billy?
Wit men in toegaz?? I luf a man in a toega!
how’d billy budd get into a toga?
With dificultries.
I yam whut I yam an dat’s all dat I yam!!!
Popeyecat sez Speenach is teh suck.
Cheezburger make me stwong!!
YAY POPCAT!
u sure ur popeye…souns moor like wimpy! Nom nom… wimpy burgerz, jus teh rite size.
J Wellyingtun Wimpee 4 dah win!!
I wud gladlee pay yu Toosday for a cheezburger today!
I love this site!! I love Cats!
[fighting off a powerful urge to shout out completely random and inappropriate "I LOVE ______!!!" replies]
i love kristopher plummer!!! ok, early erotic thing for teh captain, almoss over it.
Thar she blows.. humps lik snowhill, is moby dik.
i cans cal u ish male?
hmm, diklit . . .
This cat is ready for Talk like a Pirate Day!!\
Well, I trust you will always remember this as the day that Captain Jack Sparrow almost escaped.
Savvy?
*burp*
Kant goez to see nu pyraet movie. Iz rated “AAARRRRR”.
MY DUBLOONZ
Let me show you them
noooooo dey be steelin ma dublooooonz…
LOL deez lolcats r funy
O Noes!!1!
I needz root canal?!??
LOLz… he duz has novacane face!
Garrr! My mouf is num on rt side, n i droolin. Sty home today, plz.
I can has nitrus awkside?
Fer midisinul porpoises only, prawmise.
Cat! I’m a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance *wink*
Eggzit..stage rite
Snagglepuss! Yay!
Elvis kitteh sais, “u aint nufin but houndog, mk urself usefulls n get me cheezburger”
…an putzsum bacons on it purtee pleeze mama…
liddle farder down….oh……….yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
Dis ain’t no LOL Cat talk, so, no votin necessary …but…you shud KNOW:
kittehs has lots of nerve endins in dey backs…I learned dis from dat cute kitteh spankin video…do yo kitteh a favor and give it lots of low back scratches and pats and rubs…kittehs love the back scratchies, LOL!
Bad pyrit joke!
Pirate kitteh goes ta get ear pierzd. No wat dey charge him? A buck-an-ear!
An where R his buccaneers? Under his buckin’ hat!
u cans bofe has much [GROAN]…
thx teho! much groanz from da kat kayv is much gudz!
Fer yer groanz, yu can haz anuzzer pyrit joke….
Guess how much da pyrit paed fer hiz peg leg and hook?
He paed wif n arm n a leg!
Yoo know why kitteh pierats r eetin ma cheezburgers?
Dey just “ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!”
LOL!
Ackchoolee, I tink kitteh knoze a secrit, nawt tell NEwun!
Captain Jack Kitteh seyz:
“HAR HAR HAR! Thou shalt not eat mah cheese custard hamburger sandwich! I will attack thee with mah Whiskey breff!”
NOBUDDY MOOV!
I droppeded iball.
U play “hunt dah kontakt lenz” @ partyz 2?
Not ennymore, I has glasses nowe. Also refruns to Capn Jack: “Nobody move! I’ve dropped my brain!”
Owwwww
(Spoink!)
Awrites, whu firin rubar banz? Notso funee nao!
Wates til I gets me spinuch…
Popcat ref 4 teh winz!
arrr matey!
that is sooo cute!
Free grog at the scuum bar?
munkie aye-land FTW!
drat, ai kant ‘member enie uv da insults….
talk like a pirate day – September 19!
So a pirate walks into a bar, and he’s got a steering wheel sticking out of his swashbuckling pants. The bartender says, ‘Hey, what’s up with that thing? Doesn’t it bother you?’ And the pirate says, ‘Yarrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts!’
Not only my favorite pirate joke,
but a Hitchhikers ref too.
Many many cheezburgrz
The dread pirate Steve be in no mans debt, so I’ll make a barter with you, true as the North Staaaarrrrrr!
Dis da result of “An Eye for an Eye, a Tooth for a Tooth” philosophy. IMO, 1 eye and 1 toof NOT da best combinashun.
Peter SARSGAAAAAARD!
AARGGHHH! Thats funny!
“ar teh starz
owt tooniyt
i dun no if iz clowdy or briet
BUT I OANLEE HAS AIIIIIII foar yewwwwww!“
ai has bof my aiz, but yewst to wurk az bownser and do otehr bits uv unspesafied, asoartid vylins, so i nao has sum invizabul teef..iz not so gret, aktuly
lawl
Arr! It be the zombie pirate LeChuck!
Tanks tu evvybuggy foar teh kommints. So nyce, so funnee!
It wuz eethur gonna be dis or “KONSTANT VIJILUNCE!” but Hairee Putter done bin done lots.
Remember, National Talk Like A Pirate Day is September 19.
it kool arrr
BTW iz “ARRRRR” teh pyrates say!
…”ARRRGH” iz rezrvd fohr what kittehz saiz whehn weez fahllin, ohr slyppin or haingin bai awnlee wohn clawe!!!
Pirate cat for Beth, too!