…Mah Tummeh Hurt
Hooky kitty plays hooky!
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capped and submitted by: darylt
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faker! u goin to skool nao!
if u ain’t goin to skool, u can halp me shave mah aaahhhmpits!
Oohhh, you musta had rough childhood…so sorree.
y won’t u just giv me a snak pak?!
Ah lubs dose snak paks!!!! FTW!!
I thought I was your snak-pak
I can has mundai morningz sickeezs? kthxbai
Ah fink Ah has diz todai! *cough cough* oh wowe eez meh!
Puur Mystique!
*pats on head*
*meeps* ^^ fanks mommeh u dah bess mommeh ebar! *schnugglehs*
40% ov all syck daiz R takin on Mon and Fri…
And I am pleased to reveal that this organisation conforms to this metric.
Um… 5 days to workweek, each day thus = 20%; so 2 days should = 40%. Wait, was this a trick question?
you should know better than to use logic on this site !!! do you want the whole thing to burst into flames ??? ;o)
Oops. Don’t know what I was thinking….Wait, what happens if my evil twin and I both comment at once?
Dilbert reference IIRC
Munchausen bai proxee kitteh relly IZ sik!
An nawt jus da bebe!
Obscure ref’s FTW! ^^
Obscure? I’m not a medic type, and I know that “Munchausen’s Syndrom by Proxy” is an attention-seeking disorder in which the sufferer seeks attention by faking or iducing illness in others under thei care, usually minors.
DOES NOT WANTZ!!!
And the name comes from the “Adventures of Baron Munchausen”. If you want to know more about those tales, try Wikipedia or Amazon, since it’s been filmed several times, most recently by Terry Gilliam.
Jah Ah juss fought waz nawt a relee popoolarz term. ^^
(Ah nawt rly SMRT n Ah knewed eet so waz nawt rly impressives to meh akshly)
Mah burka needz tu be taken in jus a bit. is dareeng use of colur, tho.
Pls to not be sendin meh bak tu old kuntry…
Can I just say relieved I wuz dat you spelled kuntry with a “k” instead of a “c”
oh noes u maded meh blush! *^^*
Does u liek dis burka? is very dramatik. wuz a tyme in mai perpetchual sivil war when ai wudunt bee cot ded in a burka liek dis. but fashun is sumpin whut cans be akwired!
Lets teleport in2 mah bunkeh an tawk abowt fashun!!
Hello!!! An welkum to mai green zone!!!1!
Nao lets teleport to ma reporters’ hotel! Phew! Dat’s tiring!
NEwun kin haz fashun, be it mayl or femayl
I just changd into sumting moar komfterbuls.
Fashun kan be lurned bai lookin at mannee diffrent stylez an seein whut yu liek. Doant furget to aksessorize wif helmets, bullyproof vestses, an camoflaje! An alwayz match yur lipstik an nayl polish to yur owtfit.
Tunnel kitteh eez totalleh tunnallink…
A fort. I haz bilt it.
I not faker, mah tummeh rilly rilly soer! I stay in bed!
Shhh…hydink…
when caturday?
I haz test in Cheezburger 101 adnz I ate my hoemwerk.
for the win!!
Silleh kitteh! Ur sposed tu blaym teh doggeh! The doggeh eated ur homwurk!
etchuuuu… iz flu i think.. yu go and make teh money
’cause teh monee gets meh LOTS of cheezburgerz!
Mai kittehs iz gud at dis game.
Mines wuz too. I alwayz tink “Whoo iz da stoopee heer? Dey at home sleepin, eetin, playin, an I heer ernin a munnee to by dem foodz. Hmmmm…”
But nao I on disabilitee, an dun haf no moar kittehs to schnorgle.
NOOOOEEEEESSSSS!!!
Dat r turrable!
B’s mebbe u can has be fossterz ‘rent?
Dis mah fort…do doggehs alloud k tx bai…
NO doggehs alloud dat eez
(I can has spell ck?)
i cant behleevz i 8 teh hol ting….twiced….
no wonner mah tummeh hurtz
oh god. never again. between teh orange sushi, teh peeptini’s, teh pitchur of catlua, and the one-night-standoff (ugh, with a frog), it waz a hellofa lost weekend.
oof, mai raccoon eyes, let me show you them.
needs teh dramamine and teh advil and a large glass of tomato juice, and damp rag for mah hed…puh-leeze! has mercy!
An dint yoo eet da molto benny peetsa, too? Plearg. tummee ayk. I haz it!
Not the orange sushi!
Da oranj wunz r poysin!
But joo sed Ah was goin to dah vet…
Ah sed U waz goin to teh vet, so he coud luke @ UR soar tummeh.
Oh noes!!!1! plan has bakfyred!!! AIEE!
(syruptishus lik lik lik) I jus haz teh clammee paws… is generik symptum
oh, ferris-kitteh, duz u needs kidnee transplant?? u ar so braev.
if wez put da cheezburger in reverse, the mileage will be erazed.
Unless U keeck it off da support an it goze flyin down da hill into da canyun!!! Uppoze, Ur dad iz gonna kill ya!!
Hm. . . vet. . .skool. . . vet. . . skool. Dis is whut is called “dilemma.”
Or conondrum even!
Lotta’ dat goin arownd…
Whut? Whut’s dat? Whut’s dat u say?
U sez 2day iz ………….. Caturday?
Kthxbai! I’z goin owt 2 play!
Shel Silverstein ftw!
Glad to see someone got the reference.
I even took the liberties to translate the entire poem into lolcat speek.
Enjoy:
“I cant goes 2 skool 2day”
Sed lil Kitteh McKay.
“I can has teh meezlz n teh mumpz,
A gash, a rash n purpl bumpz.
Mah mouf iz wet, mah throt iz dri.
I’z goin blind n mah rite I.
Mah tonsilz r as big as rox,
I can has 16 chikn pox.
N derez 1 mor – datz 17,
U tink mah face lookz teh green?
Mah leg iz cut, mah I’z r teh bloo,
I can has Instamatik floo?
I has teh coff n sneeze n gasp n choke,
I’z sur dat mah left leg iz teh borked (bork-bork-bork).
Mah hip hurtz win I movez mah chinny-chin-chin,
Mah belly buttonz cavin in.
Mah back iz teh rinch’d, Mah ankle’z sprayn’d,
Mah ‘pendix payns eech tyme it raynz.
Mah toez iz teh cold, mah toez iz teh num,
I can has a sliver n mah thumb…waytaminit…I no haz thumbz.
Mah neck iz teh stiff, mah voice iz teh weak,
I hardlee mew wen I speek.
Mah tongue iz fillin up mah mouf,
I tink mah fur iz fallin owt.
Mah elbowz bent, mah spyne aint strayt,
Mah temprchure iz 108.
Mah brayn iz teh shrunk, I cannot heer,
I has a hole inside mah eer.
I can has hangclaw, and mah hart iz teh…
Whut? Whut’s dat? Whut’s dat u say?
U say 2day iz ………….. Caturday?
Kthxbai! I’z goin owt 2 play!”
(With sincere apologies to Shel Silverstein)
fantastic! ftw! *appwawds*
yesh!
nows du Sara Simfya Silvya Stowt!
Hoo wud nawt tayk teh garbij owt!
(Ai wud du teh rest, but is tu lawng an I is posed tu be wurkin.)
okays. I’LL tayk teh garbuj owt.
doan fergit teh resikling, Teho!
nah, das next mundy
>app(l)aws<
vrry gud! u make me smyl 2day. thnx
Patrick has vrey much mad skills an funnee!! We njoy ur talints.
hee wuld haf lurved it i tink.
BARVO! BARVO!!! Dat wuz mowzt eggzelint!!! thundrus applaws filz da rewm!
“i can has 16 chikn pox… bork bork bork… chinny chin chin…. waytamminit… I no haz thumbz…”
ROFLAICB! (and ai cant breeve…) dis were muches funneh!
Skool Syndrome Kitty is overstressd.
Hej man! Der bi no luv 2nite… mai hed iz hurtingz, k? bai!
No kittehz heer…keep moobin…
Star Warz!
yeh. mi 2.
iz mondai.
i wish i could, too kitteh.
is feelin kitteh’s pane
Mommee: Oh pur kitteh! U noes hab 2 go to kitteh-garten tooday!
Kitteh: *throws off cobers & runs arown* Yay!! No go to kitteh-garten!
Mommee: U sillee kitteh – u no hab tummeh herts!! Nao u goes to kitteh-garten!
mommehkitteh gonna haf rebelyus teen suner dan she finks.
It r kitteh poowberty
Iz gud pikchur foar Mundai. Fank u, kitteh, foar representings!
wurd
That’s exactly the same way I felt today when I woke up at 6 o’clock and got up for school…
Iz hate munndayz…Iz bad to work ahgenn after de wiikend…
DO NOT WANT
Plz to be bringen de cheez sammich, soop wif de beeg dubble nooduls an sodey pop. Dat halp ta cyoor de tumey icks, i heerd.
flat sodey pop wif da bubbles owt…gingerale is best!
Chikin soop wif matzo balls… Yiddishe penicillin! DO WANT!!!!!eleven!!!111
dat wud maked meh go to skool!!
truancy kitteh is truant
Ooh, por bebeh. Is okeh yu stay home onna Munday – I stay home tu, taek care of yu an snorgle gentlee. We’ll watsch Aminal Planet an eet cheezpuffs in bed all day. Dat make yu feel bettur?
yeah, sure, whaddever. just bring me a bloody mary first, k love?
Dat sownds liek perfekt Mundai morning. Awl u needz is a littul rayn outside maekings gentul pittur-pattur noyses.
funny, just as i read ur comment, teh humidity finally broke and a soft rain began, teh kittehs skittled in, and i’m all cozied up with sum good coffee and shnorgles.
oh jus go hed an GLOWT, u smug puup.
oh, et tu? we wut, teho?
Ov course, sum ov us dont werk on Mondays…..I tri not to Glowt, tho, cuz I werks Caturdays.
I saw what you did there, and I thinks I will sleeps on dis sied of teh bed frum nao on, kthxbai.
Is the coast clear?
autumn kitteh sez, “oooh, it’s rly cold owt. i can has cozies?”
(it’s FREEZING here this morning! wish i wuz a kitteh. wif a big mug uv hot choklit. an no workees.)
OMG, I can’t even imagine dat…is being 94 digrees again fur abowt teh 40th dey inna row here. We can has trade fur a day?
Flartus mebbe joo lib een FL wif meh? Eez so hawt heer tu!
k naow goes splore wormholes bai
Snuggil Kitteh has
a plan. Stay invizzibil
az lawng az she can
Slydz Btween blankittz.
Tunnilz deep an disappeerz.
“Dayr’z no Kitteh heer!”
Rapped in sawftness.
Snuggil Kitteh prepayrz 4
a marathawn Nap
Jack.
Mommee craulz in teh bed n rowls ober. Was dis lump in mah bedz? Lump moobs n pownses awn bedmeeses! “YEOW” yells mommee! “Dems mah toeses! Pleez leeb dem onz meh soes ai canz wawks to stor to getz teh cheezburgers n teh kitteh treets!”
Lump moobs against mommee tummee fur snorgles n nice nappy plase!
Heet not werk AGIN!. Y we liv n Bastan?
Babee kitteh sez “mommeee… ey doan feel so gud. Ey fink eyz gonna frow… ”
Momma kitteh RUNS wit bukkit.
Ut oh! She beez 2 late!
Kitteh not foolin.
Lolrus is glad DAT dint end up in himz bukkit!
Wuz bloo bukkit???
Srsly, nothing can wake me up faster that the sound of a hairball about to be horked up… or Mommy, I feel sick.” Then you better RUN fast wid teh bukkit!
Dear Skool,
Plz eckscuse Kitteh from skool todey. His tummeh hurt. Also he iz 2 cute for lernings.
K thnx,
Kitteh Mommeh
“Also he iz 2 cute for lernings.”
LOL–dat splane y i wented to grad skools!
O hai, pls to not sit on mah head. I can has Advil for cats?
Catvil?
teh Kermit
iz he gon yet?
Furris Mewler Kitteh…
Iz fakin teh sick
Is actchully pretends body-duble for furris mewler – to fool parents (but furrisses sister, purris is not foold)
Furris Mewler – oh so much WIN! =D
My cat does that on cold winter mornings as I’m leaving for work: stick her head out from under the covers and say “Turn out the light when you go – k tnks bai.”
duz joo fink Ah shud goes wif pladd oar solidz todai?
I dunno…Ah fancied meh a autumnz…
Aww. Kitteh look so warm an sof. I stey hoam an snuggel wif kitteh.
reely conseller Billy.
M da only 1 in dis slumberbag