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I B first!!!
yea! itz gud 2 b furst. dis kitteh haz steeley eyed stair. wil maek ur eyz get krosseded reely phast. bery potent kitteh.
so – if you blink first…
wow. not so lucky ;o)
i knows i keeps bringin it up, but it IZ one of mai favoright episodes…
dont blink
you blink, you die
dont turn around
dont look away
and dont blink
good luck!
Dat one wuz on heer just teh udder nite! Eeet’s a small wurld aaaafter awl! XD
Was guid partlee cos teh Doktoor not in it so much.
HEY! do not blaspheme…
Mai brane b ded. Kyute kitteh dun speek to me dis apternoon!
Tuk nap wid Manfrd blankie. Brane not so ded nao. Awlwayz helps to hab kitteh blankie at naptime!!
I be third (I hope!)! En – mai brayn be ded, too. An non-blinkin kitteh haz skeered mee away frum mai keybord! Eeeeek
This just isn’t fair.
It’s been twenty minutes now.
Kitteh never blinks.
kitteh has much win az it relatez to staring
win win win win win
win win win win win [deep breath]
win win win win win
Repeats? Hey. Neat trick.
Why didn’t I think of that?
So much easier.
i iz I.T. d00d
i noes all teh best shortcuts
copy/payst iz oen
KickahaOta
Speaks only in haiku style
Lives a life of Zen
Out of all the words
I could use about my life,
“Zen” might be the worst.
Plz to point to scatbox.. I haz to pee!
Yu ar gettin sleepy…sleepy…sleepy…zzz*snort*wha – oh I wuz sayin – um, yu are gettin sleepyzzzz**zsnkwher?**
Dang.
I can has cheezburgur even if I dont hipnertize yu?
ov korse u can haz cheezburger, kitteh. u praktise ur hipnertizm latur aftur ur nap.
This just in from Rooters / AP – Addlepated Press: “The winner of the First Annual Stare Down Tournament attributes his success to his sapphire blue contacts, which induces( CHEEZBURGA) a hypnotic quality (CHEEZBURGA) which reduces the opponent (MMM CHEEZBURGA) to a watery eyed breakdown (I WANT CHEEZBURGA NOW), and their has been an unusual desire to indulge in hamburgers covered with cheese after the bout ends”.
Wut an inneresting artikle! Um… I has 2 go naow… suddinly I has teh hongree…
i can has subliminabuls?
is dat liek dah lunchabbuls? (pleh)
lunchabbulls. dubble PLEH. not nootrishuss.
but tastee!
Onlee cos teh subliminabuls R cheezbrgrz.
dont luk! bella kitteh vampire kitteh!
aszoon asu say dunt luk….. oh noes i lukd!! naow im in spelt uv kitteh
Anybody else see the PETA ad demanding the shutdown of “bonsai kitten” website?
Is this a joke?
No, sigh, it’s not a joke- they know it’s not “for real”, but they think it’ll promote cruelty to kittehs. They insist that someone, somewhere will try this.
I like PETA for some of their campaigns, but I’m not with them on this. There are FAR worse things going on out there they could work on.
Extremism of any kind is suspect in my book, and PETA never seems to have their priorities quiiiiiite sorted out…so now they’re spending time being outraged over the bonsai kitten gag?
*headdesk*
Shorter PETA (in re Bonsai Kitten)
Trilyunz of bebeh kittehs is krewely foalded, spinduld and mew-tilayted fur dekrativ purposiz…Donut do dis. PLZ DONUT DO DIS
I is haf surpryzed dey not preshurin dis siet to change naem to somfing otehr than “I can has Cheezburger” since cheezburgrs iz maed frum kowz and whutnot and heben furbid aneewun shud eber do somfing liek feed a cheezburgur to an obliget carnivoar liek a kitteh
(no joke, a cat owners forum where i go sometimes got spammed by some loon trying to convince the members to switch their cats to…vegan cat food…vegan people food is ok, but to be so dogmatic about it as to try and force veganism onto cats…PLEH…FTL)
I Can Has Brokoli – jus dusnt hav du sam rnig 2 it.
Did eye heer a can openizer?
Mai vetrinarian has trubbls wid peepl wut trai to feed kittehs and puppehs vegan diets- he triez to tell them it’s NAWT RITE 4 animuls, and dat dey’re acktooally bein crool bai malnootrishunin their “companion animals”! He tole me wun lady killed 2 uv her dogs bai doin that. Stoopy…
FREE WATERFALL, Jr. : “I taught a lion to eat tofu”
LION: *cough* *gasp*
Futurama is still teh awsum
Wun tyme mah wyfe, shee trai to malnootrishin me wit uh vejnutebul fud. She sed jus trai wun dinnr wit no meet. Ah sed hunee ah dint eevawlve to top ov teh fud chayne to eet gras en leevz.
But shee mayde dis sad fayce en blinkded her eyez. Sigh, mayde mah hed esplode. So dat nyte ah eeted vejnutebul dinnr. Ah tankded her foar cookin it, en we went 2 see a moobee. On way home, teh wind,… it had a smell! Chikin! Teh liddul peesiz ov chikin wuz cawlling mee! Dey wuz sayin Eeet us wee has flavrz… en nootrimintz. So ah did. En dats wai ah amz still alyves today . Ah lyke 2 tink so eneeway.
People are crazy, and cats are carnivores; crazy peeps don’t know/don’t care about either. I’ve known plenty of vegetarians and vegans–and I’ve nothing against their lifestyle choices, frankly–to inflict vegetarian or vegan food on a cat, and it’s just not right. Kittehs’ tums are made for meat. My beautiful boy-kitteh (12 years old last week) has never eaten an inordinate vegetable in his life, and is super-healthy, very playful, and very, ah, “regular” in his habits.
Bein Dogmatic to kittehs??? Nooooo…
Srsly, vegematarian diet for kittehs/goggehs maykes noe sense. Hyewmins r omnivores — we can eats jus bout anyting — kittehs an goggehs = carnivores. Dey can gets bery sikk frum veggie diets. Not mayde dat way! Ifn u wants vegematarian pet, gitz a bunnny or rowdent.
Sry PETA — in teh wyle, animules eats each others.
Kthxbai.
Oooops… shd be “in teh wyld”.
Hey, cud sumbunny invents a lolcat spelllchekz?
Wun-weigh tikket to Looonyville?
Ur telin me? At least wyle/wyld was not teh risque!
Sorry – thot I wood beet ScotchandMoreScotch to it!
Cats can’t be vegan, they need meat. There are certain things in meat that cats need (amino acids?). Dogs can be vegans however. Kittehs must stay carnivores. I’ll step off my soapbox now. thxbai.
Kittehs has to hab Taurine. Meat has Taurine. Vegan kitteh be….daed kitteh walkin.
Kitteh’s now posed to stay indoors all teh time peeps, live much long time pared to teh outside kittehs. Too much dizeases, too much carz, too much crazy peeps what wantz ro hurt teh kittehs. Outside kitteh be daed kitteh walkin. (sigh) sad but true.
an too much cayotez, too much ov teh oranj stuff . . .
“kowz and whutnot”=cheezburger. much funnie.
Vegan cat fud? I can haz blindness?
Kittehz need taurine foar i-site, onlee sorce iz proteenz frum aneemalz. Iz ok, cuz kittehs is predatrrrs! Dey can has meetee noms!
Ebbry1 who sai “kettehs kan notz be veggiez!” iz rite! U triez 2 maek kittehs B veggies, dey goez an katchez an eetz dah burdz and rodentz, or getz sick an diez coz they not haz Taurine.
Peepz who sayz oddahwize iz deluded or rong (or both)!
I beez lurnz sumfing dailee…dind noe dat LOLCATSPEECH havz wurd foar ” OBLIGATE CARNIVORE” in de LOLCAT dicshuenairie. congo ratz to youz!
I checked & here’s PETAs site: http://getactive.peta.org/campaign/p2bonsaikitten?c=p2_339g&gclid=CJfd4tbTm44CFReQGgoduRZeYg
PETA getz mai vote fur Stoopyist Hyoomins!!
I have always loved animals and do not condone mistreatment of them. But PETA & I rarely agree. They’re rether over the top with some of their causes.
PETA tinks dwinkin miwk iz “inzlavment o animals(cows)”
bud miwk iz gud!
… I wonder if a certain part time aerobics instructor who took a ‘become a paralegal’ class at the learning annex is behind this?
halp !!! I need a legal professional !!!
15 years ago, I would’ve fed my kitties a vegan diet, but now I know better! I’m here to help you ignorant people, because I am a legal professional, and a teacher!
‘DON’T DO THIS.
Please don’t do this.”
U feedz ur kittehs a vegan dyet, dey’ll just go outz an eet meesez and birdz. Mai kitteh, Captain, wuz unforchunately wun of teh expurt birdcatz, an wuz still catchin an thuralee devowrin sparowz an robbins at teh tendur age uv 17. We put bellz on her, but dem birdz still fell prey to teh ninja skillz.
U starve an indoor cat liek dat and ur in trubble. U start lookin likez cheezburger to dem.
Sallee Struthurz sez: Does u want tu maeks more moniez? Sure, we all du.
….”Be it mayl or femayl, U can haz fashun!”
OK, but illegal professional might be more fun. . .
I can’t see the funny in that bonsai kitten thing AT ALL. It just reminds me that we live in a cruel world and people do sick things for pure enjoyment. I am not an “extremist” by any means……..but that just made me feel sick — and are YOU 100% sure that it isn’t/hasn’t been done? I am not.
Ick yuck plewy.
I go throw up now. thankz bai.
Don’t hurry coming back!
why b’cz I don’t think it was funny? Have you ever seen what they do to baby calves to make veal? I am tender-hearted and I gave my opinion — wasn’t “attacking” anyone.
iz nots teh saem. thikr skin wuds mabey halps u sumtyme. is ups tu u tho.
prolly so.
Chastised Gayla is Chastised
sensitive gayla has sense of hoomer…meks her vry diffrint from arobiks instructer wif parileeagle class.
LOL ty Flartus
get a life. kthxbai.
gayla katches teh brek from me becoz she duz hav senz of hyoomr, at leest she didnt go on War and Peace length shreekfest of a tieraed abowt how terabul we ar foar LOLing at sumting she considurd to be “pleh”
…Carefully adding “shreekfest” to vocabulary…..
why not b nice? she can has her opinion, u can has urs.
yeh, at leest her opinyuns is breef.
I don’t find politics amusing but I laugh my head off at The Onion. In the same way The Onion spoofs mass hysteria, idiotic news reporting, and politicians (who don’t need adjectives), Bonsai Kitten spoofs a bizarre aspect of our personalities–vanity projected onto other living things. I’m sure a lot of people did a lot of twisted things (no pun intended) to cats long before Bonsai Kitten came along; and they’ll do plenty long after Bonsai Kitty is forgotten in the group consciousness. The sorts of people who would do those things would do them with or without a website to inspire them.
For all that, rail against the websites that encourage and inspire girls to maintain their anorexia nervosa or bulimia in order to keep themselves at their desired weight (or lack thereof). Those sites are real; Bonsai Kitten is not.
[/lol] when CNN puts links to Onion features on their frontpage, they basically have to put giant flashing red “SATIRE!!!” disclaimers all over them. Slight exaggeration (very slight) but that’s just the world we’re living in.
reminds me of Dave Barry’s colum fur teh hoomir impared!
(wun) Bonsai kittun COOD NOT be dun, if yu thinkz abowt it for two minits.
(too) Its not a crooel wurld. It is a gods-be-blest nacheral wurld, wif a VERY FEW crool peeps init. Teh rest uv us triez to skwelch teh crool peeps, an also enjoi teh silliness of incongrewity, eckzajjerashun, and other kinds of uneckspected hyoomur.
If yu dont see teh funneh in sumthiin, sumtimes me too neether. Chacon a son gout. But save yer richous indignashun for reel problems, not imajunaree wuns.
[steps off sopebox: geez, am I gettin preechy these daiz or what? sorree.]
Preech on, sistah! I gibs u a ayyy-men! (An a ayyy-wimmin, 2!)
eckzajjerashun
I tell you what, this lolspeak can really mess with a person. I thought the above word was “ejaculation” and was laughing my head off at what I thought was a reference to something that can be pretty silly until I figured out that the word is actually “exaggeration”.
I need to go pee, now.
And no need to apologize for preaching, dear Duffy. u teh funni
I just checked snopes.com, and on a page was last updated on 8/24/07, they state that the website is not up. I had been told that I could find it on rotten.com, but did not find it there, either. Any attempt to search for it got me one of those ad-redirect sites that squat on abandoned web addresses. So, I think it is possible that PETA is behind the times, or that someone saw an old ad. The site does not appear to be operative at this time.
The refrense Lolbrarian
Thks, DM,
Faktchking – U’r doin it rite.
Naw bak to our rgllry skedded loling.
Oh hai, i foun ur lectrik soket
lol…win!1!
um… I likked a funny stamp.
Iz grate, ackshulee!!! Teh HOLL WALL turned to cheez, lookit!
lik anudder wun…mebbe teh floor will turn into a burger!!
poor kitteh iz xpeeriensing first goatse
(noat: linck does not akshuly go to goatse, onlee 2 peoplz reactionz)
LOL, thank gawd, aktyooal goatse is 2 much PLEH.
I have no idea what a goatse is but those reaction shots are hilarious!!
best to take dis attitood about goatse:
DO NOT WANT
Resist yr kat-like curiositee
u haf bin warned
i coodnt find it…
After reeding abaw it, I dunt think I EVER want to find it. MAJOR not funny PLEH for mee. But now I has anudder knowlej, – and the Kitteh face as he sees “First Goatse” is VERY funny now!
Especially teh liddle OMG paw gripping the top of the couch!
LOV that Ron Jeremy is in this set!!!! Haha!!!
i cannot unsee what i have seen, damn my third eye’s lack of a “delete” button
waitin for mah human slaves to bring me mah cheezburgerz
Doan it make my bown i’s
Doan it make my bown i’s
Doan it make my bown i’s boo?
mai daddy allys said, this lyric be “donut make my brownies blue”
For God’s sake, PLEASE PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!!
OH HAI… THAT WASN’T DECAF
Just Say No to Decaf
BRB…gotta do couple laps around the ofiss
“needz decaf” but “not want decaf”
Decaf – Pleh!
I donz trink kawfee coz I likez it; I trink kawfee coz kaffeen iz onlee drug I cn do @ wurk!
I see what you did thar, I can has some?
dis kitteh haz teh coootest bitty wedgez of whyte undah teh noze!
gibs he a deboner attituude, Mr cashual kitteh!
“Y hallo thar…”
“gibs he a deboner attituude, Mr cashual kitteh! ”
ow u say ? STEND!!!!! halp wit dis one…. pleeze?
“Deboner” made me lol! I fink I has one in mai knife drawerz. We wont fink about ovver possibul meeningz.
wen I saw that “deboner” comment, I did a double take cos I thought of something else, and not a knife either, I blame it on the leet speak. (gotta’s keep the bwain out of the gutter)
donchu guise noe nuffink????? de Cary Grant he has it, “de swav an deboner, ” dibbel mai ker, cashuual abtituuude!
bink croby an dat danswer, yu noes…….fwred astare! annnn, lesseee, …..oh yeas jiminy stewwart, ( and he noes bunnnies 2!) dey alll can has it.
know tooo men y knew guise do thow! sigh
sry bot mizunnrstanningz…….kthxbai?!
Dat be speled debbonayr. We needs spellolchecker.
I think Stend would call that Ironic Kitchenware.
Look into mah lite blu eye, not teh dark blu dat one is not majik.
ur rite – u winz kitteh, u awewayz winzzzz wit me….
Ok kitteh u winz.
If I stares at u anee loanger
*SPLODE*
teh reverse kitler bebeh trys 2 blast himz wai owt uv teh mcdonald’s wif himz lazer eiz aftr bein tole they were owt uv cheezburgrs.
(mcdonalds. red & yello. o, nevermind.)
reverse kitler is a reltik. and a pale reverse kitler is ɹǝlʇıʞ
Whiskers – U iz powerful in teh wayz of the pyooter!
nonono janet, i jus uoosed link provided much befor this,
http://www.revfad.com/flip.html
it flipz teh wurds, tehn yu can cut an paste
I can has red bull? kthxbai.
blinx time sweepur no blinx. ; )
(dat iz vidyo game, bi teh wei)
Spice must flow!
u luze. Now i destroy u with mah lazer ais kbai
Bartendr! Gimme teh milk! Ina derdee glass!
Bebbee Kitteh much
foakussd. Nawt noawn 2 bleenk wyle
stayreeng atz summfing.
Hewminz allwayz luze
at tihs gaym. Unless Shynee
Deevyse iz neer bye
Kitteh’z attenshun
canz beez distrackted. Summ tymez
lykez 2 stayrz at walls.
Jack.
Halp! Teh lunitik iz n ma hed!
ok iz reddy now to challenj u kitteh. ben prakzing 2 daze wif mai 2 bruthres.
Reddy…Sets…Goes!!!
OO
o noes!
mee–> oo
kitteh–> – -
Hes full of win.
I’m full of lose.
K, now he getz to eat mah cheezburger.
damn kitteh.