« Previous Furst rule of fite club | I HAS A FLAVOR TOO Next »
» 169 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
news from 
Contact Us
-
Who be Talkin'
eeckthecat on FUTILITY Zelkina on FUTILITY Lungdoc on Video: Kitteh Still Loves… skwirrlgrrl on FUTILITY jd on FUTILITY Elsa_Mama on FUTILITY jd on FUTILITY Elsa_Mama on FUTILITY cweenmj on FUTILITY Vincent on Video: Kitteh Still Loves… Elsa_Mama on FUTILITY skwirrlgrrl on FUTILITY skwirrlgrrl on FUTILITY Elsa_Mama on FUTILITY jd on FUTILITY
WWCB
What Would Chewbacca Do?
camouflage kitty blends with any couch
only $19.99 plus s&h
Are we sure this is not a pillow pretending to be a cat? I literally cannot make head or tail of this purported cat…it could be a furby, mebbe.
Or a tru hair ball – frum a rly BIG kitteh
or mebbe itz a reel tribbl!
mebbe a popple?
WIN!
My (now-ex) boyfriend would never believe me that Popples were real. He always thought I made them up – even when I found an old commercial on YouTube! I will have to show him this: proof that OTHER people have heard of them. (We’ll see if it convinces him…he’ll probably just think I put you up to it….)
I loved Popples. Ended up selling mine on eBay a few years back for quite a bit!
*skritches hed in kunfuzed manor*
Wut iz a popple? >.<
I had a gimmeepig that lukd like this…it wasnt smart enuf to stay on a chare, tho – it wud have fallen off rite away.
‘member now.
I jus LOOKSES lik a twibbul.
U will nawt waek up teh mornin an findin like..
5 hunnert of meh in teh libbin room.
OR WIIL YOU?
yez u wil, but onli bcuz i haz tiem-masheen nd smexi wyf@!!
I’m in ur chare, hidin’ mai fayce at ur pleh choyse of upholstree…
pleh, indeed! unforchunitlee, dis nouveau-victorian-romantic-barf floral CATastrofee iz kwite populur in teh south wear ai livez. ai’m sure it haz a horrid pease of sofa art hangin abuv it — an impreshunist print in matching colorz. PLEH!!!!! even furblz hatez teh floral!!!1!1!!!!
maybee dats why wee can’t seez frbl kitteh’s fayce — kitteh iz pukeeng in teh kornur uv teh uglee cowch!!!!!!
Victorians didnt have anything quite that fugly!!
O RLY ???
http://www.fashion-era.com/images/Victorians/tete40.jpg
The technical term for that is “Godawful Victorian.” I love it.
I’m more about the rococo, frankly: rococo = funny, victorian = hideous
Victorian: Moar iz moar, dahlink!
As to coler choices, remember, dey had oil and candle lite, no lectric lite til neerlee de end. So a green dress wif lavendrr an babee bloo trim wuz luvlee at a candlelit balldance, but hideus in todayz liting!
An den de 70’s (1970’s, da pleh age of design) came along an tried to make der verzhun uv Victoreean desine – Hollee Hobbee, brown, an lotsa payzlee wif purpleh. It not de 19th cenchoorees fawlt, reellee it isn’t!
I dunno – they weren’t in candlelight all the time !!! someone had to have seen those dresses in daylight… PLEH !!!
Onlee in dah ootzidez, Victorian howzez had verre thik wallz an smll windoze.
Well, the upholstery is at least solid on that piece, not pleh floral. And thei r windows were quite large, but you couldn’t see that thru all the velvet. I really like Victorian, if only because it would hide the fact that picking up the stuff around my house is not my number one favorite activity!
Mai mum haz Victorian hooze. I noze it haz smll windoze an wallz 2 foots tik.
I hatez pleh tidein 2.
Is flamboyint to maek up for teh seckshool oppreshun. Covur thoes taebl legz!
omfg! dat’s awful!
maybee itz a optikul allushun pikshur. rly! first, stare at teh awful wallpapur 4 20 sekunds, den stare at teh awful carpit 4 20 sekunds, den look at a wite peace uv papur. u shud c an afturimaje uv prezidint grovurr kleevland!
p.s. stend, what iz it wif u an teh godawful interiur dezine pikshurs? dis won iz neerly as bad as teh yello atrocitee from teh erlieer thred! iz ur eevul plot 2 burn owt owr retinuhs? cuz it iz werking.
Hay, it’s dat couch from the cat-alog, she actually ORDERED IT!
I owe it all to the miracle of google images, just type in ‘victorian interior’ and go wild …
http://www.vintagedesigns.com/id/latevic/ca/index.htm
PS: grover clevland? LOL’S
Pheebee Hearst? She relayted to Willyum Randolf? Dey gots similar stile!!! (Take a lot ov suff an put it in a room.) Sigh, when I do dat, it jus looks cluttered….
Due to the Industrial Revolution, the middle class became much bigger in the 19th century. To display their new found wealth, Victorians bought all sorts of things & stuffed their houses with them. Asian and Egyptian imports were quite popular. The fashion of having drapes bunch on the floor also became popular, because it displayed the household’s ability to, for lack of a better word, waste money! Victorians believed wholeheartedly in the adage: if you’ve got it , flaunt it! Over the top was the norm! *Steps away from lecturn & asks for questions*
Ize seed aul wot ManfredMom sed in oddah playcez 2.
Ah, but teh vick-toar-ee-yun aige gaved us sumthink else, it did. Along wif teh conspic… konspick… obvus and aye-catchink displayz of welth, day had alzo extra munniez to “waist” on hauspetz! Kittehs galore! All hale Victor-ee-yunz!!1!
ManfredMom, dont b forgettin “horror vacui.”
And I became much bigger in the 21st century!
(sigh)
D4MMIT STEND!!!!!
U shuld warn abody fore makin peepulz look at dat! I can haz disclaimerizationz?
Whoa! Everbody go to teh site? At least dey hang teh chantcleerz frum teh seeleeng. I lieked dat comment!
Y dey think dey haz to tell uz dat?
Lol…with a name like “gothkitteh” this floral stuff must be COMPLETELY against your nature…Don’t worry, I hate it too.
u r sew rite. ai am anti-floral and anti-pink. mai clothes and mai house r teh same colors — blak, red and wite. (xsept 4 mai hello kitty PJs!) ^_^
Goth, wit “Hello Kitty” anyting. Daht jst rong!
Yep; keep the cat, shoot the couch. Soonest. Put it out of our misery.
Purrhaps kitteh, havin Gud taste, doez not want 2 B associated wid kitteh’s humains bad taste.
Bad taste, but gud pepplus == lotz of snorgles & cheezburgers.
But taek dem 2 a furnitur store & OMG what a dizaster!!!!!
Jynormuss furr ball
canz fit in ennee space. No
matter whut itz size
Hewmin fingurrz getz
lawst in Kitteh’s fur. Sum tymez,
a hoal Hewmin hand!
Lap Tymez arz t3h Besst
Kitteh warmz Prittee Wun’s lap
wiffowt much effort
Jack.
Oh hai! I foundz ur remote foar u.
en den I eated it
nao ebbry tiem ai poots teh channel changes…
WIN!1!
Oh, TkyB – yu gotz me. Now all cowurkers lookin at me AGIN!
*wipes eyes from lafteers*
Forchunitly they alredy noe Ize kookoo.
Do nawt disterb kitteh…
…will nawt be disterbd.
DAMMIT DAMMIT!
ok Ihas teh stoopy.
There is a LOLtrek thingy,
and it is hilarious.
It is the tribble episode.
I tried to paste teh link, but full of lose!!!!
Some one HALP! It is so phunnie!!!!!!
or just type loltrek in your browser.
It’s on boing boing.
I saw that, too. Wuz SO Phunnie. I think I linked to it through a much ealier “I Can Haz Cheezburgr” page. I is grate fan of Star Trek – I specx most of the peepl commenting here are, too! Siemz to be that kind of peepl!
granades.com/2007/05/02/loltrek/
Found it. At least, I think this is the one you are talking about. Surely there can’t be two?
OR CAN THERE?
too much win, my hed a splode
luvz teh loltrek! we has troubles, an also tribbles!
TRIBBLES: “we’re in ur NCC-1701, charmin’ ur wimmin.”
KIRK: “what?”
My favorite line too! LOL!!!
Iz in ur chare, napn, wear iz b no tribble at’ll.
Groooooan. How I wish I had thot ov dat!
Invisible Klingon
O hai, IkeaCat? Yah, iz me agen. Dis taiym, I gotz a bawdee, but noe hed, legz, oar tayl.
IKEA Customer Rep: Our suppliers in China sincerely regret this error in not including outer body parts. We will be shipping them shortly and it should reach you in six to eight weeks. In the meantime please note the torso makes for excellent throw cushions, dust mops, and car buffers. In the meantime please feel free to enjoy our other excellent products like toothpaste and cat food. Have a nice day and thank you for calling. Goodbye!
win!!
Secund!
Do you like my cat? I got it from Ikea – The Floorinsnorlypooter, tortoiseshell. I built it myself… and I have all these pieces left.
Leonardo Leonardo ftw
Five burgerz tu u foar rekonizin dat.
I can has mah head back? Kthx
torso-cat
is just a torso
One hell of a nice animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf.
Win!1! Nice Kliban reference. Miss dat guy…
Email from customer service:
we much regret to inform u that Chineze kitteh hed hz been delivered to your nabor at long winding lane
plez to be picking up yr kitteh hed from nabor house
UPS trkking can nut releze nabor’s personul infomashun but plez to be lukkin for Chineze kitteh hed sitting on top of box at end of drive wai on long winding lane
plez to be picking up Chineze kitteh hed beefor trash day as we cannot garuntee delivery otherwize
many thanks
*SPLORT* (Spits water all over computer!) “Chineze kitteh hed sitting on top of box at end of drive wai”!!! What a visual!!! WIn n awesum!!
I’d be skeered ov dat howse!!!
Iz daht “Chineez Kitteh hed” or “Unitary Authority of Warrington Kitteh hed” (was “Cheshire Kitteh hed”, b4 local gobermint reorganisashun).
Yea! Iz lokked dat up in Wikkatpedia sum monts ago… Agree “Cheshire Kat” sounds sooo much betta dan “Unitary Authority of Warrington Furry Quadraped dat Meows Head”
Stil wish Iz cud liv wid Chesire Cat, as long as Kitteh stayz around for snorgles….
omgz! I has those chairs! :O They were mah grandmahs..
I’z born pregnant. Iz quiet a tiem-saverz.
ZOMG!! Kitteh has esploded himz OWN HED wif teh kyootness!!!!WTF!!1! Oh, teh floofanity…
“Oh, teh floofanity. . .”
“Oh. The Hugh Manatee”
U guise r jezt SOOOOOO clever!
Kitteh are on ur spaceship, impressin’ ur ensigns.
I iz highlander tribble – dere can be only one! Iz twu cuz otterwize dere wud be bazillions of usses.
Dude, tribbles! Crystal Caves REPRESENT!
Morphball acquired.
I can has morphball?
… an charrge beem?
Can someone please explain to me the rules of “teh Soviet Russia” game.
This is a real question. I’m not sure what the guidelines are for “playing”
There are rullez ??!!??1
Ahi didnt get dat email !!!
I mean I don’t understand how it works.
no rulez. juss rite. pays tension, u getz it.
I dun noe either….but couldn’t resist the didn’t get that email comment…
Happens awl de tyme at wk….change the rulz but no tell no ones
In Soviyet Rusha, Roolz hav Game!!!!!
omg, lbeeeze, u werks wit me!!?? haf 2 allwayz be lert for noo rulz. seekrett.
Wuv, The idea of the Soviet Russia gag is to take a common statement or situation and reverse it. Example: Kitty is chewing on a shoelace. Gag line would be “In Soviet Russia, shoelace chews on you!” It’s easy… and there are no hard and fast rules. So jump in, and enjoy! jus sayin. k thx bai
like for this one:
“in soviet russia, ugly chair has YOU”
( except that’s not funny, but you get the idea )
prety mush NON of dem is funey enymoars, ackshooly.
And yet–that’s what maeks dem funneh. We has gone so far past un-funneh that we is back to funneh again…
…mabeys 1 tym in 10, if i feels jennerus
Dat’s haow I feelz abowt Wm. Shatner’s “Mr. Tamborine Man”!
It’s called the Russian Reversal, introduced by comedian Yakov Smirnov.
Russian grammar goes object-verb-subject, instead of the English subject-verb-object. So if you translate something word-for-word from Russian to English, it comes out backwards.
Classic example: “In America, you watch TV. In Soviet Russia, TV watches you!”
oh, thank god someone finally knew what the h3ll ws going on. give tht woman a pineapple !!!
Wayt, I try:
In Soviet Russia, Fyt Club not tawk bout you?
Dat wuz absolootlee purrfekt!
wel ok… is not bad fr Sobyet Rusha
The first one I ever heard was this:
In America, you come to a party.
In Soviet Russia, the party comes to you!
Yea, Nika! I waznt quiet shur eethur. Nao we awl knowz. (Did U get teh pineapple yet?) How meny peeplz knew it had a nayme? And a reel source ? Awwwwsum.
Az sumwun wunz sed – “I nao haz a knowlej.”
Wach meh combain tew threds thusly…
Pineappleh? Dey wuz objekts uv teh conspic… konspick… obvus and aye-catchink displayz of welth in teh vicktor-ee-yun era. Yew didn’t come bai pineapplehs easily in dem daize. Datz whai u seez dem az teh deckorayshunz. Lotz uv carved onez as teh newel post capper.
Was earlier than that. Pineapples is symbol of hospi… hoursp… welcoming guests in 1700s, tue. If u cld get 9xpensve) pineapple, *and* would servit to peeple who cum bisit, u is gd host, so pineapple on newel post bai frnt dor ses “Welcome!” tue woevr cums N.
I does has mah pineapple. And a knowledge. In fakt, I haz too menny knowledges. Got no mor room left in mah hed. Gots to fynd sum othr playc to keep it.
Iz called a Penseive – see Harry Potter.
I frekwently wishes I had wun.
ai keeps all mai nawledge in mai hairs. werks rilly guud, but ai gets stupid every taim ai get a haircut. guud thing aim a gril an can has long hairs.
Ooh! Pineapples! For me! You shouldn’t have. *blushes*
I am a fountain of useless information.
Thx, thx, thx Nika! Iz ben wundren bout teh orjun uv dis joke too. Thx 4 axin Wuv!
I bleev dat ackshully teh ideea of teh Russian Reversal wuz originally much moar politikallee oriented. Smirnov furst came to teh US when teh Very Nasty Hardline Communists were in power. The Berlin Wall was still up, Germany was still divided, and much of Russia was still secure behind teh “Iron Curtain”. It was VERY difficult to travel in and out of the country. For a journalist, being allowed to report from Moscow was very much a badge of honor and respect.
This hardline attitude from the ruling Communists did not help the general view from western nations that Russia was a land of militaristic oppression and secret police, spies and neighbors narc-ing on you, and unfair inprisonment in horrific camps and forced labor for prisoners.
This in turn spawned the idea that everywhere were agents from the KGB watching you all the time waiting for you to do something against Party doctrine, and then haul you away to the gulag for the rest of your lief. Your phone was always tapped (if you even had one), your radio and or TV (if you had one) was wired for 2-way monitoring, and your neighbors would turn you in to the authori-tahs just so they could get a loaf of bread or extra ration of beans.
So, the idea behind Smirnov’s comedy was this basic premise: You are always being watched, and virtually anything that happens to you is really, really bad. Thus were created quotes liek (as was already stated by someone else here–not trying to copy) “In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the Party always finds you.” “In America, you watch the TV. In Russia, the TV watches you.” (implying that there is some sort of hidden camera in your TV monitored by KGB agents) “In America, people like to go to camp. In Russia, you never EVER want to go to Camp.” (in this case the joke refers to the Russian prison camps–which still exist today in some of the more remote areas).
So you get the idea. And hopefully, you also get the idea that this kind of humor was very much a one-trick pony that quickly lost it’s appeal (if it ever had any) and then became a dead horse that was beaten, rode again, beaten some more, turned into glue which was used to hold a My Little Pony toy together (which Stend will tell you people at his gym are trying to channel through their hair) and so on. You get the idea.
This was probably waaayy too long of a post for this subject. Sorry. KTHXBAI.
Oh yeah. Smirnov became popular when the Cold War was still going strong, before Gorbachev introduced glasnost and limited capitalism. The original Russian Reversals played off of Western ideas of Soviet Russia, as well as playing off of Russian’s odd grammar. Now Russian Reversals are just silly.
And gulags are definitely still out in Siberia. Perhaps not as nasty as they once were, but they’re still pretty harsh.
I tink we’s gettin too innale…intalec…talkin too much smrt heer.
Jeanie,
SPASIBO!
Gotz it. KTHXBAI
rule number one:
IT’S A TRAAAAAAAP!!!!
teh Soviet Russia game iz like this — in US you call on a phone, in Soviet Russia, the phone calls You –
So itz basically whatevver we do to things (or peppuls, or kittehs)here, it or dey do it you there…
If u go back neow and read deh “In Soviet Russia….” commentz Iz tink u’ll unnerstand.
Still Karen iz right – no reall rulez.
Maybe ICHC isn’t teh bestest playse to learn abouts teh R.R. There are some examples on heer that are reeeeeel stretches of teh imajinashun…
“Every day, thousands of innocent cats are thrown into states of serious depression, caused by carelessly chosen tasteless couch dessins.”
pleeze donayt to the ECIDIKA (end cowch indoosed depression in kittehs assoseeashun) nau.
“Hi, I’m Ricky Bobby.”
“And I’m Cal Naughton Jr.”
“And we want to take a moment to talk to you about snow blindness in cats.”
“It’s affecting more and more cats every year…”
“…and it scares the living s*it out of us.”
( still in your chair, makin grandma stand )
Kitteh, grandma’s blind and size XXL and her feets hurt so youz better scat stat!
but pleez do not scoot poot
…carefully adding “scat, stat!” to vocabulary…..done!
After Grandma got run over by the rain, dear, all was left was her headpiece (this one is for Bingo Gals Gone Wild nights). It makes the fambly feel all better to call it “the cat”.
this is wrong on so many levels! I lurvz it.
OMG. “All was left was her headpiece.” Fambly callz it “the cat.” ROFL. (akshually – the idea of the fambly feeling better is the funniest part of al.)
LOLOL!!!1!!!!!!1!!
Iz ironic yoos ov floofycat to distract frum fuglee chayr!
Eckchoollee, I got a original tribble “wif attitood”. It gots a tongue stickin owt, and David Gerrold signed it for me on da tung! It reallee cute, jus liek David! Cep he’s a better writer!
ur signed tribble iz bery kewl. u r lucke. muches lieks. kthxbai
Tribblekitteh haz been serenaded to sleep by HappyCat!
http://www.worth1000.com/view.asp?entry=402574&display=photoshop
Win!!1!!
In Soviet Russia, Quadrotriticale* is put in Tribbles.
*Triticale is a real variety of wheat.
What the homeowners failed to observe, unfortunately, was that quadrotriticale also makes an excellent upholstery-stuffing.
Search parties have yet to pull the homeowners from the fluff-stuffed house.
Mai husbin maeks fun uv meh 4 byin lots uv weerd hippie-chow at helf fud stoar. “Wut dat, moar anchint grayns?”, he sez. I bai tritacale bred wunce, he maek Tribble joaks awl day. He crak meh up.
I told u to trim bak dat chia pet.
Kitteh at de groomrs:
Buzzzzz… bzzzzz. zzzbzuzzz…
Groomr: Okey, kleen off de tabel an…
We loss de kat! Dere wuz no kitteh unner dere!
(Cue skarey noyzes)
Yipe-yipe-yipe-yipe-
Chare makin me wan pukin a furble or tu – can onlee help wif decor aroun heer!
u haz kewt n phunee name: Jennifffuurrr. muches lieks. WIN!1!
Plz not 2 feed tribbulz. Kthxbai.
Cuzzun Itt lef his pet at owr howse agin.
Addams Family ref! gud wun. WIN!1!
Industrial melanism kitteh iz … ebolbing.
…???…whatev…iz gud, i tink. kthxbai
Go to teh Wikipediaz an type in Melanism. Gotz to scroll down a littul foar teh industrial kindz. ‘Splains it purty gud.
thx…i iz nao moar smarterer. u gud frend. bai
Wikeepeedeeya iz teh shizznit.
And occasionally accurate…
How many tribbles do you have now? They’ll take over, y’know…
Tribble, nuthin- dat’s Shatner’s toopay!
Not toopay…Davey Crockett left hiz coonskin cap!
It’s hair, Jim, but not was we know it….
oops I mean AS we know it….
I LURVS dis wun! For enywun hoo duznt know, it’s a reponse to “WHUT IZ DAT TING?!!”
(ekschually, I suspectx everwun awn heer noes dat. But – dis is just in case dere’s moar peepl heer liek mee, hoo dont noe lotz of dese tings until sumbody tells us.
It’s worse than that–he’s dead, Jim!
Tribbles are highly illogical.
I swear that looks just like a picture of Kermy, my parents’ cat that died a year ago on their sofa. Yes, unfortuntely they did pick out a sofa with that exact same upholstery. And they normally have such good taste…? At least they haven’t gotten anything like that since.
Um, they don’t have any of those clear plastic furniture covers, do they?
None owt of none ends iz poynty.
WIN! Tis da camerflarj poppul kitteh, vewy rair breed.
My mom is going to be cross about all your chair comments. >:(
I all up in your couch being a dust bunny.
Its like a critter! anyone remember that movie?
omg! that’s soo cool! like on Star Trek!!!!
Srsly doubt Im onlee 1 with cat named Tribble. She’s Siamese but strange double coat gives hr permnint bad hair day.
Tribble?
Like a Furby, does anyone remember the Chibble? The even older version from the 80’s? It was a round furball and had blinking eyes and made a stange chirping whenever you made a loud noise.
I can’t even find them online.
how can it b that no one noes about the tribbles from the oldskool star trekz??
I LOVE STAR TRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!