Call mah lawyurrz!
photo by: Dave Kaup/REUTERS
capped and submitted by: Cerene
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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AfriCat on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Zekermeme on FIZICKS kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! kafleenthedonkey on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Kiya on Dis iz as far owt of bed caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… HistoryMaker on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! Grantski on YOU GOT ME RIBBONS!! caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… Lungdoc on I iz in ur space-time continuu… caramelchef81 on I iz in ur space-time continuu… PootyTat on I iz in ur space-time continuu…
Clearly is photoshopped. There is not enough scratches and bleeding on the arms in the pic…
Yah – an liek bubber gluv gonna protek u… dey b shreddied … SHREDDIED!!!
mebbe kitteh is declawed, but ten he be bytin
Even a declawed kitteh still has 50% pointy ends
*contemplates*
pls lets us noe wen u has can figer dat won owt, kthx
Most Kittehs being declawed have only the front feet done. Not all, of course, but most.
Mah Bastien was living outside with all 4 feets done.
And dis a gurl kiti….
Ms Turkeyburger,
Teeter wants to know – How dat kitteh have pointy ends if declawed (shudderz)? They take off teh whole first joint ub each finger to teh knuckle…Teh nails be aawl gone. Howz U figurz ta ends is pointy, unless you be feelin exposed bone? Somebudy musta done a p*ss poor job ub declawin (shuderrzzzz) Ur Kitteh!
Declawin de kittehs is illeagle in Europe an part of California now. Soon that be true eberywhear> YES!!!!!!!!!
KthxBai
Teeter.
PS Teeter made me write this, she said there would be no place I could hide, if I didn’t. Sorry.
Teh Hairless Monkey
Deer hairless monkey….Iz so GUD to heer dat deklawin gonn be illegel!!! I cud nebber haf dun it to enny of mai bebbehs….no matter how destrukto dey be!!
RESULT!!!! Soz, but if yah not wantz kitteh clawz, dontz havz dah kitteh raddah thn havz mutilatdeded kitteh!
Poor kittehs. All I do is clip teh pointy part of teh claws off. Usually only before kitteh goes to vet, because he gets REALLY REALLY MAD when it’s vet time and angry kitteh can do a lot of damage (even with clipped nails).
Deklaw kittehz still has teef! Verra sharp pointee teef. An uses em moar, 2. I doan’t blames em.
The 50% refers to the fact that when cats are declawed, they usually only do the front paws. All I can say is poor kitties.
Is more lyk 75% sharp. U forgets teh teef.
I dinkin TkyB ment frunt declaw – leavin three pointy ends – mouf and hind feets owt of the usual five-owt-of-six.
Teeter:
Furst, it be MR. Turkeyburger, fank oo…
And yes, I wuz referring to teh fact dat usually kittehs just get dere front clawzes remooved. If U start wif teh ideea dat 5 of 6 ends are pointy, den taking away 2 pointy endz leevs U wif 3 of 6 pointy ends–or, 50%
At least one of us has passed a math course!!
i fynlee figerd dis owt, somwar els. thpppt
i is Bucky Katt; i no has clawz on frunt but i has all my bonz in da toes. The doctur has lazer beeemz that takes da clawz only. it no hurt cuz i was sleepn as usual. i can uze my paws like munkey hands now. ifn i has thumz i rule da werld.
Lookit da teef!
aweee
I know that my kitty wouldn’t scratch me…….she may act like it, but she loves me too much to do any more than MEOW like Im hurting her! LOL
(((hugs))) I know that it bothers you to hear that meow!
YOU KNOWS TIS PHOTOSHOOPED BECUZ YOU SEEN A MANY PHOTOSHOPS IN YOUR TIMES, NO?
HALP!
Sumbuddiez gonna pay fur dis!!!1!!!ELEBENTYSEBEN!!1
LOL @ ELEBENTYSEBEN
oh hai, yoo dat lady from Simpsons who trow kittehs at camera?
( ahem )
I need a legal professional !!!
WIN !!!!!!!!! Dat wuz bootiful, Sten.
I can has leegul profeshunal?
Objection! Prosecution is clearly watering down the testimony.
Permizun 2 treat as a hostyle wytiz.. kthnx
Denied. Uze handz dontz luk liek dah raw cheezbrgr!
laideez an gentlmenz ov teh juree, pleez 2 aknolij – if the gluvz dont fit u must eqwit..!!!
Dis is Nashunal Geographic pichur- first dey be washin da rare fur-back kitteh.. den releesin into the wilds of da livin room.
If the gluv don’t fit…
SCRATCH THE HELL OUT OF ‘EM ANYWAY!!
…wet u must git!
lolz!!
Iz torshurz! I has rites under teh innernashunal laz!
U is designated enemy comcatent! No you can not has rites! NOT FOR YOU!
We will waterbukket you until you talkz!
W: How duz yoo know he enemy comcatent?
Sarj: He sed he haytz Amerikanz an he gonna kill us.
W: Goddam theez evil doerz. Wen he say dat?
Sarj: Day 39.
W: Man, theez guyz ar p&ssies. Wen i woz guvnor ov Texas, thare woz peeple still keepin to thare ‘not guilty’ storeez, eebun wen we stik em in da chare or chaymber.
Sarj: God bless Amerika.
TINA…
plz 2 be not makin so many funneh posts full of win and awsum…
my coworkurs iz catchin onz…
I noes – heerz me giggle and deh says why yu laff allatimz
I knows, TINA is dedly. I has to disguise laffs as snort-choke-spit then says to cow-orkers,
“O hai I has just swallered some coffee wrong wai, kthnx bai!”
On other paw maybe replying in lolcat didn’t halp mah attemptz to fake profeshunalizm…
“replying in lolcat”….LOL….dam, der goes coffee all over teh feckin monitur agin!!
ai tink ronnie getz awai wiv it. . . az long az nawt snorgle teh boss. dat wud be oops.
COL–iz wurs all ovr teh kee bored
Wan uv teh benifitz of retyurmentz … no coworkurs. Awlso no gettin up urly, goin to wruk eben wen u duznt feel lik it, n so on.
I figgure dat wif ecksellent plannin and hard wurk, I kan retir about three yerz aftur I diez!!
Dat irly COL??? Ai figur ai gotz to wurks to bowt 103 bfor ai canz eben TINKZ bowt retirmn!
If we are nawt careful den Bono is gonna show up and do a benefit concert
i doan care, i go enywais.
wif or wifout u.
wif or wifout, who?
noes! rong groop!
and yoo gif yursef awaaaaay
and you gif yursef awaaaaay
and you gif
and you gif
and you gif yursef awaaaaay
MEOOOOOOOOOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
Dems waht do Cheezburger in Pairedize? Oh noes rong groop but tahtz mie faavrit song evr in da wrldz!
AH LIEK MYN WIF LETTIS AN TOMATA
HYYYYYNZ FITTY-SEBEN AN FRENSH FRY POTATA
dammit STOPS dat! u noes i canst hep maself!
BIG KOSHR PIKKIL AN A COEL DRAFF BEER
WEL GUD GAWD AMIYTEE WICH WAY DUZ I STEER?…
pls kil me…
SUNDAY, CHOCNUT SUNDAY
sunday, chocnut sunday
WIPE YOOR CHEEZ A-WAAY
woh, dat tayks me bak, TINA…
mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/04/snowcones_fiddy.html#comment-15741115
cute overload iz too much qt. it turnz me . . . to . . . thee . . . . dark . . . . . .side. . . . . . . . . .
is ok. we has puddins der.
u has puddin awn teh darksyde?
U pipples is too funnie and clevver!
Yo, Teho…even tho it were wif teh rong groop, yu replied in lolcat! Yu iz in seerius trubble, sun!
bryngs it on. i is perpayrd fr evree ebenchooallytea.
OMG, I nevr snorted b4 this comment. Much win!!1!!1
Will Sting purrfoarm at consert too? Mebbe he willz sing “Donut Stend So Cloase 2 Mes”
or “harbls in a bottul”
seez what i mean?? laffs out loud an hoominz in other coobicl heerz me — stopz wit teh funiez !
u can needs ofis wif doar.
srsly, i wuz just fankin mah luckee starz dat i duz has teh offis doar, cuz y’all crakkin meh ups!
harbls in a bottul…
Kitteh is a Eunich?
[ahem] we prefers da term “nootrd” ifs u pls.
i thot the politikully korrekt term was “diffrently genitalled”.
arnt we all?
Mebbe what i ment was “diffrently harblled”.
Sting hits:
Te ho ho ho, Deh nom nom nom
Can’t Stend Losing U
and moar……
evry bref u taek. evry moov u maek. i b watchin u. o canz u see? u belongz 2 me.
evry caek u baek. evry drane u snaik. evry yrd u raek. evry flee u taek. evry baff u taek.
mah po hart brakes……………..
LOL!!!!
Dat wud be CeeilingCat’s theme song, i finkx.
( cough ) you called? ;o)
no no NOES, ur thinkin of Jayms Tailr an Caerlol Keeng!
OMG Turkeyburger – laughed ’til I cried…. omg….
I mean… all of you… this was…. *gasping* … OK I can’t breathe and my back is killing me. . . . . ribs hurt…
An dah Robert Plant, doin dah “Stairway 2 Cheezbrgr”
Yeppers. Sumbody call Amnesty International Plz kthxbai
jes i tink u has sum rites. wen my mommy lick me – i mean bathz me – she put me in bat-tub but no water standn in bat-tub. Then she pour some water from a cup on me from bukkit. Dat way i dont feel like i gonna drown like stinky ratt. kitteh no like dunkin in bukkit like a donut in coffee
U dint tel mee we’s goin to de vet! U sed toy stoar!
Hah, owez mee plenny cheezburgers fer dis won…
Jello Cat..Is gellin’
Like a felon?
heh… oi Phel, enything tu says?
Hey, where be Phel latlee???? Phel-Pleh….I still LOL!
Phel alwaez lurx. saw her doin teh reecharownd jus reesently, tho.
Buh teh skunk spray ME!!! Y U no baythe HEEEM???
teh skunkz has NAWT ur frend! Dey makz fr ebbreewon 2 need bathz. Oooh ick poar stinky kitteh. Baythn r awwfl but u feelz bettr soon eye promsiz. Den u git snorgles en cheezburgr.
YOU GONNA PAY SO HARD!!!!
Obvissly, yer shoos will pay too. An da rug. An da good couch. An da draypes. An dat naybors barky dog!
speshly dog.
But Stend gots alla good cowchez.
Does we wants to knows hao u knows dis?
OKEY! OKEY! I TELLZ YU WHER TEH SUBMAREEN PLANZ ARE HIDDUN!!!
No, not teh acid bath!! DO NOT WANT!
I’M IN DIIIIIIIP!
Wojer Wabbit FTW!!!! IT”S DIIIP!!!!
??
that doesn’t rhyme with “nose”…
meh, i scrude up teh qwot. o wels.
nose?! dat dont rhyme with walls!
nom but dis does! ::kicks in rhyming place::
Iz B Watrbrded!
My Lawyer, let me show you him
I teenk da LOLrus sents deez men fur TORSHER MEEZ….” I DEED NAWT TAEKS TEH BUKKIT!!!”
I FINDZ HIZ STOOOPID BUKKIT RITE HEEEERE! DO NOT WANT!
Teh Godlolrus is makin’ kitteh an offer he can’t refyoos foar steelin’ his bukkit…
nawt a vry gud use of lolrus bukkit aktually! poor kitteh!
Yef u dids kitteh – u IN Lolrus’ bukkit!! Hao u say u nawt taeks it?? Ai gonna tell Lolrus. U tink u gots it bad nao??? Wayt til Lolrus gits heer!!
THIS IS NOT MAH BUKIT!
dey awl sez dat
I wuz holdin it 4 a frend!
srsly, him nots wuz feelin tu gud.
u shur u wants it bak?
Halp, Iz bein repressed.
Did u sees dat. U saws him repressin me didn’t ya?
kom and see teh vyolenz inherint in teh sistum
Do you ackshully think dat some watery tart hurling scimitars about is the basis for a stable political system…
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
“moysend bint” wus my faev. hehe
Luv teh monty python refs!!! Enybudy seez ‘Spamalot’ on Broadway? Awl teh python fanz shud see … hilaryous!!
nots on brodway wif Tim Vindaloo an David Hyde Park, but in teh West End wif Peter Davison (dr. who?) just a few weeks ago.
“Patsy — you never told me you were Jewish!”
“To be honest, sire, it’s not something you just say to a heavily armed Christian.”
iz sawd it in londonia… was full of much win and awsum. laffed so much my stomac hurt teh next dai!
“Iv I says Ize dah empurrur coz some moysended bint chukz a katakna at me, dey’d lok me away”, so not so grate reeli.
pore kitterz. Iz nuffin more pafetic dan a soggy kittur. I can haz big fluffy bafftowel??
how abowt a burgr dryve thru n laundermat?
kitteh 2B getinn ur keesez – we goez now?
I wunner if kitteh wuz moar skeered uv rubber glubs all ober her insted uv warm sof skin hanz…. Poor kitteh!
This picture is in such terrible taste. I can’t believe someone actually decided to humour up what is actually happening. The cat is being cleaned b/c he was in an oil spill.
http://www.msnbc.com/modules/interactive.aspx?type=ss&launch=19651427,2&pg=5
Oh, deere. Luk. Wez alwaies sad for littul lifes that getz hurt, an mos of us dooz whut we can to stop or fix bad thingz happenin to all lifes.
But dis kitteh gonna be okeh, rite? An no mattur whut, we noes that kittehs hatez bafs. Meny of us has tried to baf a kitteh, for gud reesons. (At lees they seemd gud enuf to us.)
An teh look on this kitteh’s fase is NOT GRATEFUL.
Thatz why itz funneh. K? So…chill? kthxbai.
couldnt have said it better myself!
“donut duz dis, PLZ DONUT DUZ DIS”
dount did dat? Damn u Donut!
Pleez to naot damn donut! Goesez soooo gud wif coffeee!!
damn, dat dang donut did da do dipped in da dedly dubble dubble dubble.
…iz al i wants tu sez tu u
wups, dis was spost to be a reply! wut hapin?
aaargh nows it working agen.
WurdPres jus luuuv to mes wif me on teh Frydeg.
Lisa, hab U bin hangin oat wid does hamsters dat b dansin?
Yes!!! We iz happy teh kind peeplz r cleenin the puur liddl kitteh – but – der cn b noe comedeh widawt teh trajedeh. Iz bazic. Datz wai mozt joakz r sort ov crool. Maeks uz laff awl the moar. Teh Huumin mynd iz a stranje ting. But – dis be GUD fur Kitteh – so wai not laff?
thare iz akshullee grate saying
“comedy iz tragedy plus timing”
In teh wurdz of teh funnehman Mel Brooks:
Tragedy is when I get a splinter in mai finger.
Comedy is when U step into an open manhole and die.
Can’t be said better. Look at dat AFV show–has been on foar whut, liek 18 years nao. 18 years of guys getting whacked in teh harblz, kids falling off bikes, and drunk people falling of chairs. Good tiems.
YAY FOR TARBL TAYST!!!
least you aren’t saying “harbl tayst!”
PLEH!
gud hevins, i wud nevar so imply! :O
Jenn….god bless those who care for injured, rescued and sick animals….there are many of us here who do just that! Duffy did a great job of explaining why we need to laugh…waytogo, Duffy! Life kicks us in the head on a daily basis, and ICHC gives a brief respite from that. If we offend you, feel free to go away!
Jenn’s right tho – it does kinda suck pretty hard that kitty was in an oil spill ( WTF? in kansas? it’s like the spanish inquisition – nobody expects an oil spill in KS !!! ) but then again-again, if I had been scrubbing down oily kitties I’d probably laugh like h3ll if I saw the kitty on ICHC after, comic relief and all… as long as kitty is OK of course, and kitty looks pretty OK
it’s like looking at a picture of me in bad drag – it’s OK to laugh if you know the tragedy is reversable ;o)
Stend, the image of you in bad drag would only be a REVERSIBLE tragedy if I’d first had the chance to hoard a large quantity of brain-bleach and eyeball-cleanser….
odly, i stil wantz tu see dis pikchoor…
The huumin brayn is strang indied! I suzpex we AWL wantz tu see di pikchoor!
kauz nobudiez ’spkets the Kanzes inquizzition!
Butt i ony caem 2 Coffee Ville fur teh cream!
nao i kant hep wundrin whut u luks lyk in GOOD drag, Stend! ::plucks own eyeballs out::
Imedge of wet kitteh, oan a kumfy chayer.
Hey Stend,
Yes…that was my point…I guess I just wanted people to know it wasn’t just a bath, but poor kitteh had been in an oil spill. And, really that’s not right! It is good to know that he is getting a bath and, hopefully, will be okai!
Believe me…I am familar with the bath & the kitten! I’ve had kittehs all my life and currently am the slave to three of them! LOL! I get them used to baths just in case they need one when they are older (what do you mean that skunk isn’t mah friend??)! I should post a pic of them having one…they love it! My middle kitteh even lets me blow dry him…can you believe it!!!?
And, of course…I LOVE this site! Kittehs rule!
Jenn
Jenn: no matter what happened to poor kitty, he’s obviously OK. Otherwise he wouldn’t be screaming his little lungs out. The look on his face is so typical of kitty getting a bath. Since most of us have cats that have had to be bathed for one thing or other, we’ve seen this look. We know the results of giving a kitty a bath & have the scars to prove it! It’s funny! Also, a couple days ago we had a kitty with a cast. Obviously something unpleasant happened to him. We all got a good laugh at the confused look on his face. And didn’t you laugh, too at the America’s Funniest Home Videos episode that featured the sleeping cat that fell off the TV?? Lighten up a little. Life is full of these funny moments.
would it be funneh if the kitteh were not being cleaned up?
Horribul thot! DEN we not faffs so much fur shur.
Den we no laff. We cry. We get angree. We say FIX DIS!!! We HELP!!
But den nobudy wud post dis pik here, rite?
It is funny that the link you provided has the caption “I dont want a bath.” on it. Even msnbc saw the funny side.
In Soviet Russia bath has you.
*heavy adagio for strings*
Catoon.
Martin Sheen and Willem DeFoe star in Oliver Stonez gripping drama – men at war with themselves, the shattered hope of innocence,…and a cat being bathed in dramatic slow moshun.
Catoon . . .. . . . . rated MRROOOWEERR
srsly…
I can haz 5 minits to recovur?
Kthnxbai
how U put cheez on strings…oh is string cheez. kthnksbai
such senssless violins!!
agreed. needz moar sax.
Dishwashing liquid? Madge? I’m soaking in it? Do not want.
I thought I was the oldest one here!!
Somebody else who remembers Madge!!! YYAAAAYYY!!!!
M.M., dere is a lot moar of us oldies on heer den U thinks
Guds! Ill try to scrub teh rusty off mai memorys bank & maybes when dis neu hyer dosij of Paxil taeks effect I cans gets us oldies ROFL n teh yungsters will be sayng WTF????
M’Mom, you said you were laid off recently….any good news????
aihs lef U a not on anudder paig, but U mussa missd it
Thx fur axin, LBeeeze! No gud news yet. Hads lotz tu du. Mai Mom & Dad (91 & 93) r tryin to gets settled in der asst libing apt, ais gotz PT job dat aim wurkin days on nao, Mom & Dad tink ai m persinl taxi serbis to docs (I’ll b backing off on that sum REAL soon!) n house needz cleening. No tyms ta luk fur jobs yet!!!
Gots a leed on 1 tho – sent resume. I’ll prolly fall into sumting, den lukz fur wat Ai rlly want. Appreciate the concern! Makes me feel lurved & snorgled! 
OOOOO furgotz 1 mor ting ai gotta du – dezine mah cuzins kitchin! Thk fur remindn me, LBeeeze!!!
broke a nail today and remembered the hands soaking in dish soap. Not Want!!
it muss be glove. . .
*shmak*
Four hanz all you got? Yew better stans bak den cuz I am bout to open z can of whop azz on yous.
Silleh kitteh. How u is going to be opens teh can of whop azz when u duzzent knows how to werk teh can opner? Donut tells me that u has can with pull tabb becawse for that u needz upposubble thum. Which u no has! So how u goan hurt me wif dat can of whop a— (kabonk!) Ow! Kitteh throwed whop azz can at mah hed!!1!
HA! Donut needs no stinkin posable fumbs!!!
U knoes, i has been thinkin bout this and i wonderz: if kittehs carried Lolcat Armee Nifes, whut toolz wuld be in it? Toofpik for post-cheezburger cleanup, yes, but whut else?
Fyul, for sharpenin clawz. Littul claw-shape canopenur.
mowsie scoop.
collapsible portabul sunlamp… in kays ders no gud paches to lay in!
an mebbe a littul pillow, fur naps.
an small nukyulur wepun, fur world dominayshun. jus in kays teh uvver plans fawl thru.
oh, an uv coors, pokkit edishun uv T.S. Eliot’s Buk Uv Praktikul Lolcats.
(is rly big Lolcat Armee Nife. invisibul too.)
Skritchin’ poast what luks liek huumin leg. Pantz opchunal. Bear leggses iz gud 4 2 b climbing upon.
Liddle grill 4 da cookingz ov da cheezburgerz!!!1!!
enytiem pantz is opshinul is gud day.
LOL LOL u cracked me up
lmao!!
Chernobyl KItteh be readi for snorglin shortly.
But I’s don wanna be baptized lyk tis.
I’s presspyteerian, I gets sprinkled
denom(nomnom)inationalol???
wurdovtehweek!!
Mah noo relijiun!! I iz denomnomnominationalist!!
Where teh kitteh abuze comments? Clearly bathin teh kiiteh is abuziv and wong!
OH NOES! THINK OF TEH STINKY LOLCATS!!
Smellee cat, ohhhh smellee caaaaaaat,
Wut r dey feedin uuuuuuuu?
Ha – Friends episode! Wunnerful song.
Smellee cat, Smellee cat,
Itz not uz fauault!
Ohhhh, it’s dere….no, up dere….I iz jus tryin to nore it.
Can’t we all just get a looooooooooooong?
meow?
can’t we all just get a loooooooong cat?
is liek on of dem ginormuss caterings sub sammiches. we cans has enuf foar evrywon!
is remynds me: am hongry! mus get sammich!
oh ah kaint git a lawng littul kitteh,
ah kaint eben git wun dats shooooort,
ah kaint git a lawng littul kitteh,
or wun daaat maeks meh *lolsnort*!
*splort*
awww, der goes teh coffee onteh puter agin wit teh funee!
mabey dis halps? http://www.allerca.com
$6K!!!!! I liek a kitteh fur hubby to nawt sneeze at, but nawt fur 6 tousand dollurz!!!!!!
yah. dat is kinda stoopy.
whyz i feel lik dat kitteh iz zombeh to tak ova da werld cuz no1 sneezez?
WIN. teh end.
In Soviet Russha, ur lawyurrz call u.
An den u RUN AWAY!
serv tort dich. is fun gaem.
Bukkitz shood beez phun.
Nawt filld wiff soapee wattur
Summfing nawt ryte heer!
Kitteh slept unner
t3h Kar. Gawtz awll much dirtee
Baff Day…. Do nawt Want!!!!
Kitteh no beeleevz
Hewminz. Say Baff iz gud fing.
Dat’s wutz tung iz 4!
Baff Day getz ridz uv
itchee liddil bugz. Mebbee
dis iz nawt so bad
Jack.
Radioactiv kittey neds scrubdwn
elz he mite becomes 8leggd freeks
Yellerhanz bettr be sleepinz wit one eye openz
Deez injustisiz
um… dey cans not stend?
ban all bukkitz nao
kthxbai
Thas IT. Am peein on ur shooez and then hidin in klozit for the rest ov mai lyffe.
Hey, where are the extra legs MY cats always grow when I bathe them?
Maybe you need two muscular men with yellow rubber gloves to do the job for you.
so not fare- i nose how to cleen myselves alweady!!!!
Kitteh: “Dat stoopy lolrus – i has found heemz bukkit! DO NOT WANT!”
Poor sad kitteh! Mebbe juzt a wun-time ting?
I is getting the Guantanamo “water boarding special!”
kitteh can haz ekstroardunaree rendishunz
Nooooooooooes! Doan’t ebin liek ordinaree rendishunz!!!
Not fare…u told me bowlz wuz full of cheezburgrs!
DO NOT WANT!
Don’t touch Jimmy!! Nobody touches Jimmy!!!
A kitteh bathed aginst his will
Iz uv teh same aroma still.
HEROIC COUPLOL!!!
In Pittsberg, tehy callz dat a hoagic couplol. In Noo Inglund it’s a grinderic couplol. Sum other playces callz it a torpedoic couplol.
is stil rokk & lol tu me.
Iz suboic couplol?
Good heavens. I see in my absence you have all become much, much sillier. I’d not have thought it possible.
lulz
how very Graham Chapman…
[begins some smart precision drilling]
Rite! Stop it this minit! This has bkome entirelee 2 sillee! Naow, Sarjint Major… start teh next LOLsketch!
Dey haz been emboldeneded.
Itz muzt bee teh companee we keepz.
lolz!
Iz beetz u boof apart!
Iz taekz u boff tagever!
Wher’s buttercup?!!
alet me splayn.
…
no, der is too much. i sums up.
But whut abowt teh Lolcats of Unyoozyooal Sizes?
wel, dat is a problm, coz i noes dey ezzist… hmm
mah naem iz inigo meowtya you baffed ma fadda…prepaer to die!!!!
pwincess bwide ref! much win!1!
This be mean
What, cleaning a cat who would most likely die if it were not cleaned? Hate to see what you think it would take to be nice…
Evl Scientiss speriment wid “hair removal Fluid” on unwillin subjct. If it wrks, kittehs all ovr da cuntry be gettin dis as excuse to get rid of harballs an har onna sofa.
eventually, it was decided cat baptism = not so gr8, actuooly
Hi Preests of Bast hensforth dekreed that catz onlee need to be baptize wif tung of other Bast dissiple, aka any cat. Therafter, all Bast followurs confur sakrament uv tung wash on eech uther wenever confeeniunt, just to be sure; an on all theyr hyooman frends wunst in a while, just in kase slavez will be needed in the Next Kingdom.
[/lolspeek]
OK, somewhere in my pix at home, I have a photo of the English translation of an ancient Egyptian “Spell For Curing a Sick Cat”. No lie, it was at the Field Museum in Chicago. Here’s a highlight I remember:
You cat here, your buttocks are the buttocks of The Great Swimming One.
(kitteh gots hippo hips?)
Again, not making this up. I’ll post a link on my Vox…
Wo, dat iz amazin… cuz mah kitteh’s buttocks r EZZACKLY teh buttocks uv Teh Grayt Swimming Wun! I swares! At leest, dat’s wut kitteh told meh…
okays, heer dem is:
teho.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2252668128e1d00e398a09b350001.html
teho.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2252668128e1d00e398a09b360001.html
(payst into ur IE/Fyrfawks adres bar)
whoa. dat’s wild. “do nawt be afrayd, mah gloryyus dotter!” i sez dat to mah Mugrosa-kitteh teh next tiem her’s afeard.
mah uvver kitteh red it wif meh, tho, an himz is taykin it fur granted. “you kitteh heer – der ar no limz in u devoyd uv a gawd.” himz wuz liek, “well, DUH!”
I can haz tort claimez?
…or tort leenys?
linzer tort?
nom nom nom
Lemin tort, choklit tort, appl tort…?
tart!
CHOKLIT TORT!!!! Lubs IT!!!!!!111!
I hope yer writing 2 msnbc, cuz they captioned it furst
I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!!!!…o wait, i iz too animal. nevahmind.
i ain’t no steekeng D-U-C-K………….
Ah dont want to be IN buckit!!
Poor, poor bebbe!!!! Iz hope wh3n kitteh is all klean & dryed off, dat somewon gibes kitteh lotz uf snorgles & cheezeburgers!!!!
Watch where u put the finger!
wd rv 2k t em fv dd? bleeb? n@e%!! :::X-I
Rev–vowels are ur frends…
Vowels are ur frenz!!!! *LOLsnert*
i kame in after my precious, but now i know wuz bad idea! (he looks like gollum in the lava, lolz)
Errr, why do you wash you cat??? It’s unnecessary, and the cat clearly HATES it.
And who on earth would declaw a cat??? That’s horrible!
You wash your cat when it has gotten into something toxic, and it would be a really bad idea to let it clean itself with its tongue, as cat tradition mandates.
In this case, the word seems to be that the cat was caught in an oil spill.
And what on Earth makes you think this cat is declawed?
Ok, I thought those were some cleanliness-crazy weirdos.
People were talking about declawing a few pages up.
Have lawyurzz being gunz and moneys!
im gonna represent dat kitteh pro bono. i diverge wif u divergence, i fink they washin it jus to git it on i can has cheezburger
Spyin on teh dogz wuz gud ideeuh. Fyer hydrent diskize mehbee not so gud.
Hahah lawyurz.
hahah sillym cat! how can it allow it!
DO NOT WASH
Isn’t waterboarding illegal?
[...] remember the tiem when u put me in the baff? [...]
That kittah wants out NOW!
“Dry clean only”
Hey you stoleded LOLrus’s bwuther’s (green) bukkit (u in big trubble now!)
Dat be one unhapee kitteh! Pour wet theeng…he plot reveng…o yez reveng is sweeeeet…
I can has legal akkshun takked nao? I’z nawt happie wiff mah hoomans.
This picture is WRONG. It is a picture of ANIMAL TESTING.