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Call mah lawyurrz!

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photo by: Dave Kaup/REUTERS
capped and submitted by: Cerene

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288 Comments »

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

Turkeyburger (no relation)

Clearly is photoshopped. There is not enough scratches and bleeding on the arms in the pic…

LuvBJones

Yah - an liek bubber gluv gonna protek u… dey b shreddied … SHREDDIED!!!

miss foots

mebbe kitteh is declawed, but ten he be bytin

Turkeyburger (no relation)

Even a declawed kitteh still has 50% pointy ends :)

Teho

pls lets us noe wen u has can figer dat won owt, kthx

 
JanetCanHas4Kittehz

Most Kittehs being declawed have only the front feet done. Not all, of course, but most.

 
elfinugget

Mah Bastien was living outside with all 4 feets done. :( And dis a gurl kiti….

 
 
Teeter

Ms Turkeyburger,
Teeter wants to know - How dat kitteh have pointy ends if declawed (shudderz)? They take off teh whole first joint ub each finger to teh knuckle…Teh nails be aawl gone. Howz U figurz ta ends is pointy, unless you be feelin exposed bone? Somebudy musta done a p*ss poor job ub declawin (shuderrzzzz) Ur Kitteh!
Declawin de kittehs is illeagle in Europe an part of California now. Soon that be true eberywhear> YES!!!!!!!!!
KthxBai
Teeter.
PS Teeter made me write this, she said there would be no place I could hide, if I didn’t. Sorry.
Teh Hairless Monkey

CrazyOldLady

Deer hairless monkey….Iz so GUD to heer dat deklawin gonn be illegel!!! I cud nebber haf dun it to enny of mai bebbehs….no matter how destrukto dey be!!

 
paws4thot

RESULT!!!! Soz, but if yah not wantz kitteh clawz, dontz havz dah kitteh raddah thn havz mutilatdeded kitteh!

 
Liz

Poor kittehs. All I do is clip teh pointy part of teh claws off. Usually only before kitteh goes to vet, because he gets REALLY REALLY MAD when it’s vet time and angry kitteh can do a lot of damage (even with clipped nails).

 
 
bubbyscranky

The 50% refers to the fact that when cats are declawed, they usually only do the front paws. All I can say is poor kitties.

DanaGurl

Is more lyk 75% sharp. U forgets teh teef.

 
 
Duffy

I dinkin TkyB ment frunt declaw - leavin three pointy ends - mouf and hind feets owt of the usual five-owt-of-six.

 
Turkeyburger (no relation)

Teeter:
Furst, it be MR. Turkeyburger, fank oo…

And yes, I wuz referring to teh fact dat usually kittehs just get dere front clawzes remooved. If U start wif teh ideea dat 5 of 6 ends are pointy, den taking away 2 pointy endz leevs U wif 3 of 6 pointy ends–or, 50%

ManfredMom

At least one of us has passed a math course!! :)

 
Teho

i fynlee figerd dis owt, somwar els. thpppt

 
 
Bucky Katt

i is Bucky Katt; i no has clawz on frunt but i has all my bonz in da toes. The doctur has lazer beeemz that takes da clawz only. it no hurt cuz i was sleepn as usual. i can uze my paws like munkey hands now. ifn i has thumz i rule da werld.

 
 
 
 
 
bruisin raincloud

aweee

I know that my kitty wouldn’t scratch me…….she may act like it, but she loves me too much to do any more than MEOW like Im hurting her! LOL

(((hugs))) I know that it bothers you to hear that meow!

 
More soup

YOU KNOWS TIS PHOTOSHOOPED BECUZ YOU SEEN A MANY PHOTOSHOPS IN YOUR TIMES, NO?

 
 
CrazyOldLady

Sumbuddiez gonna pay fur dis!!!1!!!ELEBENTYSEBEN!!1

 
Shanz

oh hai, yoo dat lady from Simpsons who trow kittehs at camera?

 
 
stend

( ahem )

I need a legal professional !!!

sillyannz

WIN !!!!!!!!! Dat wuz bootiful, Sten.

 
Turkeyburger (no relation)

I can has leegul profeshunal?

 
 
 
peagle

Objection! Prosecution is clearly watering down the testimony.

DevilBunnies

Permizun 2 treat as a hostyle wytiz.. kthnx

paws4thot

Denied. Uze handz dontz luk liek dah raw cheezbrgr!

 
 
msnoah

laideez an gentlmenz ov teh juree, pleez 2 aknolij - if the gluvz dont fit u must eqwit..!!!

 
 
cmerry

Dis is Nashunal Geographic pichur- first dey be washin da rare fur-back kitteh.. den releesin into the wilds of da livin room.

 
Andrea

If the gluv don’t fit…

SCRATCH THE HELL OUT OF ‘EM ANYWAY!!

 
 
trtskh

Iz torshurz! I has rites under teh innernashunal laz!

ronniecat

U is designated enemy comcatent! No you can not has rites! NOT FOR YOU!

We will waterbukket you until you talkz!

typingisnotactivism

W: How duz yoo know he enemy comcatent?
Sarj: He sed he haytz Amerikanz an he gonna kill us.
W: Goddam theez evil doerz. Wen he say dat?
Sarj: Day 39.
W: Man, theez guyz ar p&ssies. Wen i woz guvnor ov Texas, thare woz peeple still keepin to thare ‘not guilty’ storeez, eebun wen we stik em in da chare or chaymber.
Sarj: God bless Amerika.

stream723

TINA…
plz 2 be not makin so many funneh posts full of win and awsum…
my coworkurs iz catchin onz…

lovcharliecat

I noes - heerz me giggle and deh says why yu laff allatimz

 
ronniecat

I knows, TINA is dedly. I has to disguise laffs as snort-choke-spit then says to cow-orkers,

“O hai I has just swallered some coffee wrong wai, kthnx bai!”

On other paw maybe replying in lolcat didn’t halp mah attemptz to fake profeshunalizm…

CrazyOldLady

“replying in lolcat”….LOL….dam, der goes coffee all over teh feckin monitur agin!!

 
typingisnotactivism

ai tink ronnie getz awai wiv it. . . az long az nawt snorgle teh boss. dat wud be oops.

 
trtskh

COL–iz wurs all ovr teh kee bored

 
 
mini

Wan uv teh benifitz of retyurmentz … no coworkurs. Awlso no gettin up urly, goin to wruk eben wen u duznt feel lik it, n so on.

CrazyOldLady

I figgure dat wif ecksellent plannin and hard wurk, I kan retir about three yerz aftur I diez!!

 
ManfredMom

Dat irly COL??? Ai figur ai gotz to wurks to bowt 103 bfor ai canz eben TINKZ bowt retirmn! :)

 
 
 
 
 
Turkeyburger (no relation)

If we are nawt careful den Bono is gonna show up and do a benefit concert

Teho

i doan care, i go enywais.
wif or wifout u.

Shanz

and yoo gif yursef awaaaaay
and you gif yursef awaaaaay
and you gif
and you gif
and you gif yursef awaaaaay

MEOOOOOOOOOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

 
conscious cat

Dems waht do Cheezburger in Pairedize? Oh noes rong groop but tahtz mie faavrit song evr in da wrldz!

 
Teho

AH LIEK MYN WIF LETTIS AN TOMATA
HYYYYYNZ FITTY-SEBEN AN FRENSH FRY POTATA

dammit STOPS dat! u noes i canst hep maself!

BIG KOSHR PIKKIL AN A COEL DRAFF BEER
WEL GUD GAWD AMIYTEE WICH WAY DUZ I STEER?…

pls kil me…

 
typingisnotactivism

SUNDAY, CHOCNUT SUNDAY
sunday, chocnut sunday
WIPE YOOR CHEEZ A-WAAY

 
Teho

woh, dat tayks me bak, TINA…
mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/04/snowcones_fiddy.html#comment-15741115

 
typingisnotactivism

cute overload iz too much qt. it turnz me . . . to . . . thee . . . . dark . . . . . .side. . . . . . . . . .

 
 
typingisnotactivism

u has puddin awn teh darksyde?

 
 
 
cratz

U pipples is too funnie and clevver!

 
CrazyOldLady

Yo, Teho…even tho it were wif teh rong groop, yu replied in lolcat! Yu iz in seerius trubble, sun!

Teho

bryngs it on. i is perpayrd fr evree ebenchooallytea.

 
 
blue yotie