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I can has first?
u can has teh speshul pie.
[snikr]
Azz pie? Wif cuppa azz coffy?
Ass don’t know butt you’re tockin abooty.
mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/08/double-shifty-e.html#comment-80302065
*splurt* HAHAHA! teh funee!
thx U owe me a new ‘puter. I snortled all over dis one.
Iz gona lurv em & sqeez em & and shreds em 2 pizez
Yeah, dis be the next step:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahphrase/581740385/
(dis be mah kitteh Lex bytin his Lamby)
CHOMP!
Dis iz nachural pray/prediter behayvyer. Notis teh killng byt of teh BIG tyggr. Nex step b remoovng floof frum lam so its dun tikel tyggr noes n mayks him *aaaaa – CHOOOOOO* oopsie, 2 layt. lammy n nex county!
This would be why I always buy cheap plush toys at the nearest “Dollar” store. And keep a broom and dustpan handy.
Amen, sistah. Mah loldobie (http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamhoff/791630337/) duz teh same tings.
M’Mom, didn’t you say you were laid off from work? How are things? Any good news?
You r so rite–evree once in a wyl I has to restuff teh lamby and sew his booteh back up cuz he losts his gutz!
yer lam. it has a flavor. can has mint jellee?
LOL–gud one
Lex iz a Purty kitteh!
Fank u! I’ll be shur an tell him u saidz so!
awsum pic! dat’s wun furroshus kitteh u gots!
Oh, yes, he has a hooooal grupe of animuls he killz regulerlee–Lamby, Bun, BoBo Doggie… Veree vishus!
Lex iz gojus kitteh! Pretteh tyger strypeez!
Tanks! Win I saw his liddul strypey kitten sef, I jus had to lurv him and sqeez him and… nurm em Lex.
JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION, GET IN THE…
Oh, wait… I can take him!
yez — hims maek gud rowdtrip pilow.
George Lion playin hard 2 get
makin blck kitteh wrk hard 4 it
yea lion can has a…stuffy…attitood sumtimez
like hez ignauring u
LOL stuffy…attitood…
Newb must speek lolspeak.
Yai for Bugs Bunny refs!
…and Steinbeck
Dag, Teho, yu beet me.
as i sed tu CP, is gud tu noe u is der if i slips up.
Plz you splayne to stoopy noobie? kthxbai
Rede “Of Myces and Mens.”
Gude storie, but bery sad.
as i sed to Duffy…
Gocher bak!
Of Mice and men is a gateway book. Once you start on Steinbeck, you will have to read all of his books, and that will lead you to try other authors, and the next thing you know, you’re an addict. Then you will find yourself working a second job in order to pay for your books, and staying up all night to find the time to read them. You will haunt the library and the used book store….your craving will never be satisfied.
funey… is not teh wai it wurkd fr me–prolly “Ol Man an teh Sea” derayld dat traen fore it cud even leev port.
(an to dis day, al ma metyfoars is broak)
Hi, my naym is Dexaan, an I’m a buk addikt.
O Hai, Dexaan. Niz to has anudder buk adddikt awn bord, eeven if de traen nebber leevez teh port.
And Firt This – ur broked metyfoarz r PHUNNie. U can doo moar?
I noed I wuz in fer a lyfetyme of srs buks wen I realyzed I wuz da onlee one in class who wuz readin ahead in bof Da Odyssey AN A Tale of Two Cities…an I still read bof da classix an anyting else I can get mah paws on.
Wen I has munny I kin getz buks… if enny lef, buys fuds nom nom.
Poar “first this”–owr hoal senior yeer aftur seeing teh Oal Man and Teh See movee, we ran arownd going “FEEEEESH……… FEEEEEEEEESH……….” an tawking to owr invisibul fishes lyk Anthony Quinn.
We wuz nerds.
dat wuz me… frgot to chaeng screenaym backs aftr graaahhing at sum “FIRSTPOST” pudwarts.
dat lie. mesa hatin graps of rath. but meez reading ’bout meeses and hoomans in skool nao.
Teh origin of the “hug him…[etc]…and call him George” was a huge but childlike character named Lenny Small, in John Steinbeck’s _Of Mice and Men_ who was subsequently parodied in several Bugs Bunny cartoons. He had a tragic tendency to love things to death, not knowing his own strength.
Diz wehn it shoz I notz likz dah Steinbeck.
Sumday, we can has lil hawse n a coupl o’ acrz, a cow, a pig, chiknz, n we can has livin off teh fat o’ teh lan n we can has lolrabbits…tell bout teh lolrabbits in winter, n I can has tendinz to teh lolrabbits…
Man, dis is wun litterayt grup. Srsly, it’s fab. I lurve it.
I wuz jus sayin (on Elektrik Kitten pic) that there is NO PLASE on teh web liek this blog for kwalitee and varietee of wit an eryoodishun.
An stuff.
well… i cans mabey tink of one othr…
Speshully stuff. Lotsa stuff heer.
Tnkx. Eben peeps heer who getz dah metajokez.
Is grate, finally we see peeplz who READS! Makes me sad to see teh youngins who is like “Whos dis Shakespeare dude?” and such. *sigh*
reedings is liek teh internets only wifout all teh ads.
or video.
But even better!!
mita knowed………kitteh lurvrs r smart.
BUTZ doz any 1 elz half troble stoppin kitteh talk??!!!!!!!
peoplez r startin to luk et me funnyz…………
I getz funy luks from otr peepz at fas fud storez… Always “I can haz cheezburger” pops out ov my mout, even if I don wan cheezburger!
yez! I talkz tu mai kittehz dis kitteh talk. N I sed at leezt 2 sintenzes in KT tudai at a lunshun.
My huzban an ai speek lolspeek a lot of. Iz phunneh for us.
Dey haz dun lotsa studeez abowt Mensa peepuls (IQ 130+) — dey finez all da tyme dat highly intellijunt peeples have kittehz moar dan any othr kinda pet. An mos ovem liekz chocolate, too.
dats cuz dogs is dum- cute but dum-
NOW kittehs on de otter hand is wery, wery smart and cute-
kick dogs butt in KENSA test!!
mai puppeh telz me she don wan chase mirr pup cuz she figrd owt it wuz a skam. she smrtr den avg lab.
I haz had both doggeh and kitteh. And I lurvz me sum chokolit. Me FTW!!!
(ok, I mayd mahself laff. Is goofie day tuday.)
And I speek KT fahr mor den I shud. Brayn not wurkin (not shur it evar did), I can haz kafeen?
I herd a storie on teh raydio teh uther dai bowt haow a studi sayd dat kittehs ownly has teh remebrigns of bowt tin minnits. Den doan’t memberize nuthin ennymoar.
But I kudn’t halp wunder, duz kitteh rilly forgit aftr tin minnits oar duz kitteh jus nawt giv a carp ennymoar?
LOL, we went to Monterey last week, an den udder playces. On Cannery Row I wuz all agog dat I wuz der! Peeple stayred at me, but hubby unnerstanz me. Mostly, tho, it made me want a red ponee!!!!!
You mean there realy is a place NAMED Cannery Row? It’s my favourite Steinbeck book!
*runs off to Mapquest*
lolsteinbeck…
…and a LOL for lolsteins evrywher!
mmm, iscream…
I nebber “got” steinbeck. I luvs reedin, inklooding menny clasik buks, but steinbeck duzzint du much fur meh. Gimmeh Joseph Heller or Kurt Vonnegut enny day.
Iz okey. I don have much time fur Hemmingway. As long as we respeks udders prefrinces. I appreciate teh way u phrased it “duzzint du much fur meh.” Its wen peeples tell me dat somwhuns no gud becaws dey dont like dem.
We had a librarian in our small town library who got me around the “no children allowed in the adult section” by getting my parents’ written permission to select books for me, and she always had at least one new one waiting for me each week. So, I would check out several “age-appropriate” books on my own, and check out whatever she had chosen. Looking back, I realize how well she knew me, and what a favor she did for me. I was exposed to my parents’ favorites, my school’s choices, and Wanda’s choices. She even influenced my parents, because they then would read what I brought home. So, Wanda, if you are out there, thank you for Thornton Wilder, Chastain, Harper Lee, and all the rest.
Prefurrz dah Heller 2. Tinkz maybeez peeps goes “DOEZ NOT WANTZ” at dah writahz dey had 2 reed in Eng Lit klazzez?
An Marie D iz zo rite boutz a guid libraryun ur bookseller daht noze U. Mizz daht in dah big bookshops an dah zupahmarkitz! Shop local folks!
Yez – guid libraruns n buksellerz are VERY impurrtant! I reliez awn the kindness of stranjers – and thank goodness, lots of friends and relatives, to tell me what is good and to give me things to read that they think I would like. Find lotz of wunnerful stuff (hoorayz fur teh stuff) det wai.
Paws4 – Funnee yu shud menshun that: Ize a Dickens addict mahself, an the onlee wun of his buks I tend not to reed over an over is “Grate Eckspektashuns”…an now I dink abowt it, that wuz teh wun they made us reed in Hi Skule Lit.
I wuz luky tho, I got into an honors Lit Class an got to do an indvidulized program wif a teecher hoo piked buks for me, also giving me creditz for tutoring Shaksper to uther stoodunts….Fanks Mr. Clayburg, wherever yu are.
I tink dat mabee hi skool is tu yung foar sum pipples tu be reding teh classiz buks. I reded “Teh Skarlit Lettr” in hi skool and thawt it wuz teh stoopy, but win I reded it agayn foar kollij I thawt it waz teh exsillint.
Ai’m a Dickens nut, 2! I thot Grate Eckpectorashuns was hokay, but I didna liek Pip much, I thot he wuz a bit of a prat. Sayme wid Old Cyooreeosity Shop- when Lil Nell died I thot “Jeez looweez, abowt tiem!”
But I lub me sum Sam Weller an Mr. Mikawbur an an Dik Swiveller.
Fanks 2 mah dad, teh buk collector, an Mrs. Kaylor, mah 2nd grayd teecher 4 gibben me “adult” buks! (Heh, funny how “adult” books has a different meaning to me now…)
Teh buk I red in hi skool I nebber liekd wuz Teh Skarlit Letter. I oughta go re-reed it.
cee? dis iz how 2 dew teh haf-knelsun holed. u grabz himz liek dis…no waite…mebbe itz teh udder wai…brb…eye gotz tew lukkit mai notez.
He sez he’ll luv me furevver – but I think he’s lion.
FTW!
WIN!1!
Duffy!! What a funny!!! Win and ausum!
buts fr nao hims ur mane man, riet?
and I’s gonna lurve ferevah and evah.
can i keep him? Pleeeze?
He followed me home! Srsly.
Dat teh kitteh or teh lyon speeking??
Yes.
Yellona minakin titta entin luuli…
Pleez – whut duz dis meene?
I can’t figure it out, either. a Yellona is a type of pepper, I think… but that doesn’t seem to help. Could it be something from the Lion King? Anukki? Anyone?
iz dis b finnish lion?
Iz b finnish lion. Sorry for the nonsensical use of finnish here, but all the finns are laughing uproariously right about now, I’m sure.
Teh kitteh goez inna other rum, comz bak hollerin’ “Dare iz a drate big LION!1! (only he says Yellona [properly spelled jellona, but pronounced yellona]) Himz mommee says to himz dat he shud not lye liek dat. Mommee sendz him to pray ’bout all dis.
Liddle kitteh comz bak and mommee asks him what did god sayz ’bout all dis?
Kitteh says to mommee “God sez, “Yellona EYE thought is was at first, too!”
Nao turn ur hed an’ koff.
Wak up!
I looks u up in Encyclozpedia!
Wif mah braynz an ur brawnz we kud rool dis houz.
Wak up!
Srsly!
LOL I can just hear kitteh pleadin… “i has teh big ideas, why you not halpin? tagether we can DEFEET teh kibble kontainer! WAKE UP!”
much win!1! rool teh houz…nyce.
My kittehs dun needz teh helps to rool teh howse!!
Remindz me uv Dustin Hoffman an Jon Voigt in “Midnight Cowboy.”
OMG yer right. Why?? teh lyon’s hayre?
Dat, and teh kinda skrunchy luk of teh kitn.
Wif owr powerz combined we can totalleh umm “do awai” wif doggeh…no wot Ahm sayin??
Aww, this so looks like my bebeh Zoot when she was a kitteh….
Zoot is a grayt naym for a kitteh! Plz tell me u named her after teh charakter in Monty Python and teh Holy Grail…
bad Zoot.
naughty, wicked Zoot.
And you must give us all a good spanking!
A spanking! A spanking!
and then…
…the (invisibul) aurel secks?
Soda all over laptop. Hed aboot to asplode. Tyme to kall it a day!
Spank me!! and Me!!! lulz…wun ov mah fayvrit parts!
I’ll bet you’re gay…
Am not!
And my identical twin sister, Dingo.
woot!
Furst, you must give her a good spanking,
A spanking, a spanking!!
then you must tie her to the bed, and do with her as you will.
I did, in fact.
And she is naughty, wicked and evil!
JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION!!! GIVE IT A HUG!!!!!!!
Momee Ah hopez joo not fink dis mah replaycementz…Ah kno he dunnea has claws 2 skritch dah soffa, he dunnea has need a litter boxez, he dunnea frow up on dah oreoental rugz, he dunnea fink all joo guests eez fer pouncin prakktiss, he dunnea eat all joo chzbargarz, but rly he nawt as cyoot as me. Take heemz bak to store nao?
Awwwwwww. Makz mai hart to melt.
Doan wurry, bebeh, we noes hez nawt as kyoot as yu. Mebbe you borks thingees sumtimes, but you never bores us. Littul lifes much mor preshus than toyz. We keeping yu!!!!!
So yu can stopz trieing to strangul him now.
HEIMLICH MANOOVER!
It’s more of a gesture actually
As the National Rifle Association says, it’s not guns that kill people, it’s manoovers.
I tot it was rapperz?
Okay, wunce again mai eyez fail me. I read that as “raptors” and was liek “Dinosaurs? Cool! Where?”
i can has graep joos supar sowker?
(♥ XKCD)
A hand, a fist, hootcha hootcha hootcha, Lobster.
Okay, Hans, I want you to swallow zis golfball…
a man, a plan, a canal: Panama
And munkys do 2!!! wtch owt Chrltn Hestun!!!
Is Eddie Izzard? Luvs me sum Eddie!!! Much funneh!!!!
Dis kitteh get to da lyon by makin da left at Albakoike?
Win!!
Ah! Mebbe this kitteh is crossin teh state lyon into Noo Mecksiko!
where is muh monee? i is choke u til u payz up!
“Is kitteh gonna have to choke a betch?”
George, George,
Stop that George!
Don’t make me rub your fur backwards George!
I has da brainz. You has da lookz.
Let’z make lotz uv monees.
You has da brawn. I has da brainz.
Let’z make lotz uv monees.
hay i wuz jus in Lundins! teh west end grls is ok but west end cofee shopz is tu DYE foar. speshly dis oen: http://www.caffevergnano.com/vergnano_en.php
srsly. an GET TEH CHOKLIT, too.
(sry, wut we wuz tokkin bowts?)
Cafe Nero soooo much beddar dan Staryucks! When I wuz der, dey onlee had verona kine, much pleh!
OMG! De hot choklit der wuz awsum! We alwayz finded good food der, we weerd Amurkins, even liek pub grub! Nom nom nom much bangrrrz an mash!
yez, Nerro was qwyt gud too. mmm
I dranked a glass uv Scrumpy at teh Lundun Bridj Farmerz Markit, an had 2 sit down on teh curb 4 a wile. An dat was a SMALL glass.
I lub Lundun!
Was it made from apples? Well….mostly apples?
(if no one get dis Terry Pratchett ref I be sad)
ROFL, yep, it wuz. An I bot it bcuz uv teh Terry Pratchett storees- I’d nebber had “real Scrumpy” in my lyfe! It wuz gud, but man oh man, wuz powerful!!! Almost as gud as Nanny Ogg mite hab mayd it.
I spended a semester in Englund in collegde. Yous maekin me miss it.
Dah Scrumpy is leethil!! Nobiddy daht notz uzed 2 it kan has more dahn 1 small glaz.
Scrumpy iz mostlee appelz… in olden days wld let ratzez fall in open barrels during fermentashun.. boost flavr… (pleh) mabeez for kitteh drinkings, not for me.
Pet Shop Boys and 80′s moosik FTW!
Allz I needz is a tinman ands a scarecrow and weez off to see da wizard. Wants wizard to ban idea that black kittehs are bads lucks. Not tru!
Mah blak kitteh wuz teh best luk I evur had, for twenny-wun yeers. *sigh* He waitin at the Bridge naow.
I has 2 blak kittehs rite naow, an ebberting’s coming up roses. Well, roses an hairballz, but hey…
Gotcha beet–I gots 4 blak kittehs to make up fur teh yeers wen I dint have enny. An I gots a tuxie and a tabby an a calico. An two big doggehs.
HALP!
We haz teh blak kitteh named Tim who don speek too gud. When he speek he crakle a bit. He very friendly. Likes 2 make teh biskits on teh stommak when I’z layin down. We dont call it biskits…we callz it puh-puh-pumpernickle loaf. We also haz teh wite kitteh named Crystal who don heer too well. They dont play together yet but we still haz teh yin & yang ting almost.
Yesh, ma blak kitteh saveded ma lief!!!
We wuz gonna move into Norfridge Meadowz a few munths befoar da BIG erfkwayke! But she so small kitteh, if she got owt an got in traffick she be hurted, so we didunt move in der!!!!
Thank you, RC, I love you and I will see you at the Bridge, my dear Bug!
Kitteh = Gardyan Anjel!
U bringx teh teerz tu mai eyz. Hao I houpz tu see mai liddl kittehz again sumtiem. I nao haz 4 noo kittehz – wunnerful swiet kittehz, but kittehz gone acrosz teh brij will alwayz havz space in mai hart.
O but my armz will B so ful ov al mai kittehs & dawgies, how wil dey awl fitt? Or iz dat partt of teh Ranebow Bridj magik?
Dey will fit fur shur – iz the magik. U can has az meny az u want – dey will awl fit! (Tink abawt it – dey fit nao.)
Gots no kittehs rite nao- jusst 1 goggie woo not feel berry well!
‘Sept wen mai grandkat Tabitha cum fur vissit mi! She alsoh old butt do notz wantz to goh 2 bridj yet! She cums in & maows lik she haz no cloo wer see iz. Holp! I’z losted!
My black cat is at the bridge, too. 14 years was not enuf.
Wanted ‘nother black cat (cuz they are last to be adopted) , but an orange tabby showed up. I guess orange is teh new black.
Careful, because teh oranje wuns are…
onahje onez are addictin- cant have jus one!!
U musta needed a oranj kitteh and not knowed it. Kittehs KNOW dese tings.
When a noo kitteh sho up dat luk lyk an old kitteh, I cawl dem “teh apprentis”. One grey tabbeh dat visit owr yard from teh naybor’s howse is so speshul, she has 2 apprentises. Verree big paws to fill when she go to teh bridj.
Blak kittehs R good luk in Brittin.
okay but take good care of it
oh i taeks CARE uv it, alryt.
heh heh heh.
I fink dat lion iz ’bout to gitz himz azz beet up.
I fink kitteh fixin to fall over an kik kik wif teh back feets, while hangin on wif himz front feetz.
Srsly, lion fiddin to gitz it.
Look wut we find
in da park in da dark.
We will tak him homez
We will nam him Clark.
We will feed him.
He will gro an gro.
Wil owr mom lik it?
We don noes.
Dr. Seuss FTW!
Wow. takes me WAAAAAaaaaayyyyy back…..
so much WIN!!! muh dad yusta reed me dis ebry nyte.
Haha the kitty attacks the lion!!!
Dangerous kitty!
OMG my ansistor!
Kitteh is doing teh reach around
LOL, teh filth, we has it.
HAHAHA! It’s nice to noes summat else has teh guttermindz!!!
YAY FOR TEH GUTTERMINDZ!!!!
mwaaahahhahaaa….
Reacharound Kitteh is doing the Reacharound.
u spins meh riet rownd bebeh ryt raond
lyek a rekkrd bebe riyt rownd rownd rownd…
PS: wien me, dyn me…
I don’t often do the “HA! HA!” out loud, but this did it to me ; knowing the serious lit from which it came and the cartoon genre…good on ya, oh, great captionor. Excellent.
“But…I’ve GOT to fight THE LION!”
LOL “Scott of teh Sahara” Monty Python FTW
“and teh kitteh goaz ‘HiSSSSSSSS’…in slo moashun”
Unkel Leo! You iz at reeonyon jus lyk i asskt! Did u brng Ontie Tillye? U wants dreenk? We hav sammiches, plz tu b sitten doan an telln funee stoareez.
k george…….. naows i jez holdz yer nek here… an den i jez snorglez unda here… an den…….. an den i jez has my feetz here on yer bellies……. an den…… jez waytz……. an den i shredded you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whoo hooooo……..!!!!
Dat is lion not daffy duck!
Looney Tunes reference FTW
This looks exactly like my kitty. She’s six years old and has her first stuffed animal crush (on my stuffed elephant, Flopsy.) It is so cute to see them cuddling together. I laughed so hard when I saw this. Cats are nuts.
I shall call him George, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my George…
hm, lyon duz luks kinda skwishy.
Are youz my mommmy?
I laufes at dis one. I had kitteh named George, pricesly bekuz of Looney Toons and Steinbeck. I found George in the cemetery of my ols church, took him home and my dad asked me what I was going to call him. I looked at him and said, “I’m going to love him and, hug him and call him George.” My dad looked at me and said, Okay Elvira”. George is no longer with me but I love him still.
BTW, I love all of the literary references here. It’s lovely to know that there are people out there who still read.
Same reason I have a kitteh named George, except… she was found at 4 wks, not yet weaned. Teeny tiny helpless bebeh kitteh! Not sure how existing cats would handle that, as two cats, Bunky and Dom, were rescued from a farm, where they’d been abandoned and gone a little wild).
Plop bebeh kitteh in middle of bed, and proceed to hover in case hostilities broke out.
Booger walked up, sniffed, growled, and walked away; expected.
Lady walked up, sniff, and proceeded to ignore little tiny bebeh kitteh; expected.
Bunky & Dom walked up, sniffed… proceeded to pin down bebeh kitteh & tag-team groom her, head to toe. Kitteh toddled over by pillow. Bunky & Dom followed – they were most anxious not to let her out of their sight! They were the most solicitous adoptive maternal units I’ve ever seen.
i iz wisPURRRING sweet nuffinz in ur eer.
just adopted/was adopted by two babe kittehs, thanks to this caption, now named george and lenny ::)
i luv my gorge!
Heh, nice. A Refrence to Of Mice and Men
nice worked out ballz do you know what gunther means_______your but crack
basement kat attacketh aslan
th basement kitteh has decided a bad fate for this little kitteh… FAREWELL WORLD