photo by: ?
capped and submitted by: Ann Oleary
ohnoes. kitty had too many tombstone pizzas and kettle chips.
-
-
Copy & paste this:
Click to see All Kittehs | Captions Only | Videos Only
« Previous fall off what edge? | the mole peepolz Next »
HOW MUCH!!!
» 143 comments
Leave a Reply
Popular Videos
-
Who be Talkin'
flyndaran on i haz bgcmeowrrrr on VIDEO: Nylah Sleeps Every… anom on Cardboard Dreams cursesonyourmom on Meme Animals: Interspecies… OzcatMum on INVISIBLE Spotstarsmom on Downton Tabby Spotstarsmom on VIDEO: Nylah Sleeps Every… anom on Cyoot Kittehs of teh Day: We M… poussinboi on INVISIBLE AngelPlume on VIDEO: Nylah Sleeps Every… A Biker Too on VIDEO: Nylah Sleeps Every… AngelPlume on Um…I bleev LimaBean on Cheezburger Is Getting a … Wendy on VIDEO: Nylah Sleeps Every… the crapture on Um…I bleev 
Cheezburger Company Blog
More I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
I Has A Hotdog - Loldogs n Cute Puppies
Quality shnuggle time
Just Capshunz - All of the Internet. Captioned
Dave. It Was Dave.
Animal Videos - Cute and Hilarious Animal Videos
Tub Regrets
Animal Gifs - Cute and Hilarious Animal Gifs
GOZLINGZ
Daily Squee - So cute your brain might explode.
Pocket Protected
Historic LOLs - Captioned Portraits of Yore
A FATHER'S EYES
My Food Looks Funny - Funny Food Photos
Women, Pegged
So Much Pun - Visual Puns and Jokes
THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST SHOW EVER
ROFLrazzi - Lol Celebs and All That's Fab Funny in Showbiz
2012 Grammy Nominated Albums of the Year... Wif KITTEHS!
Totally Looks Like - Stuff That Looks Like Other Stuff
My Unborn Child Totally Looks Like The Punisher
Must Have Cute - See. Want. Must Have!
Guns Can Be Girly Too
If Style Could Kill - OMG Style!
Ring of the Day: GLaDOS You Came!
Dis skale bwoken. I can has new won? Oh, wait. Nebbermind.
DO NOT WANT!!
it happened to me soo many times kitteh… its ok… we can join weight watchers together k thx
see mum i wud onlee way a quarter moar poundz wif anudder chzbargar!
Kitteh lik ur nue math.
O, kitteh, i nows zactly hao u feels.
*sighs*
dun we all ^^
Yes. Yes we do. *big sigh*
Poor Kitteh! Dun worreh. Yor not alone. I has too much weitz too.
I non’t evin wey da Elfi ennymoar.
Iz too sad.
Eye hadda give mine goggie sum meds, watt wuz wate based. Dat ment eye hadda way mineself once wit an once witout da goggie, den du da maf.
It was depressing.
Jayssss, U nevair realeyez haow stronk I yam! Dis kitteh way 85 pouwnz, yet I can hold her wif wun arrem! An see! Togeddayr we way 200 pouwnz ezacklee!
Dis kitteh needz a diyet! But Ai am joos fine, tank yoo!
wen i startd mai job, i waied lyk 130, thn startd putin on musle an wnt to neerly 150. i luk strong n fit, but still kinda mutter mai wait wen anyone asks.
Mebbe U kin say “I perfick size 8, tank U!” Dey nebber no da diffrince!
Me too, even doctrz cudent bleeve hao mush I wayd eben tho dey hab my rekerdz…. Iz onlee niec part uv bein petite, I look smaller dan I iz. Shoppin iz hard, tho…. clothes all cut for 140 poun teenager, not hourglass woman bodeez….sigh…
I dontz weyz me eiderz. We can haz conzolashun cheezburgrs wit xtra baykon and mushroomz?
An friez!!!! Doan forget teh friez!! An milkshake!!
kitteh to scale: “Ah haeyte u so hard”
this wat I say to scale too
Dat cuz skalez eez ebil…
OK, cheezburgur tu fatuning…I cut bak on teh ketchup.
Cud leef off teh pikel 2.
an’ dat lettus… it iz nawt helthee. It muzt go.
Sumtymes I tink teh onlee purpos of teh lettus be teh comic releef. When teh lettus slides across teh catsup an mustard (an teh mayo if u use dat, 2) and makes ur hamburger slyde apart onto ur plate leevin u wit onlee a messy handful of bun. Mebbe dat is teh reel purpos of teh cheez, to gloo ebreyting togeddur?
We can haz baykon in us cheezburgrz?
dis a lot of cheez…..
Kitteh needz feline phen-phen…:(
Dis skayl LIES!!
I doz nowt wayz dat mutch!
Tyme to giv up da cheezburgers an start eetin healfee…
mowr broccoli an carrotz.
DO NOT WANT!!
maibee jus one cheezburger a day nsted ov 2!
I will cut back to 1/2 cheezburger a day…. mebbe 2 halfs a day……hmmm
I not dis heavy. I in my summer coat!
Iz not fat, Iz floofy!
I’m just big boned !!!
Barrel chested!!!
it wasn’t me!!! someone had their foot on the scale!!! I are still a tiny kitten!!! get the h3ll away from me before I sit on you!!! don’t piss the fat girl off!!! you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!!! don’t make me go all carnie wilson on your 4ss!!! if momma cass and karen carpenter had just shared that sandwich, they’d still be with us today!!! give me that d4mn cheezburger before I make you regret it, I’ll pounce on your foot and you’ll never walk right again!!!
(whew) somebody give princess plump a chocolate bar, she’s about to take somebody out… to dinner!!!
Inside this body is a thin chick yearning to get out.
Most days I can shut the witch up with chocolate.
yew say witch like it a bad ting.
use da b wurd when you means it!
I t’ink dah ‘w’ are there 2 get dah post thro da swear filtahs; shood B dah’b;.
Inside every fat woman is a thin one yearning to get out.*
*or at least, dying for chocolate.
I heart Terry Pratchett sooo much. himz likes kittehs much too. Just ask Death or Greebo.
Greebo doesn’t like anyone or anything, except Nanny. I think Greebo is proof that Pratchett is owned by a cat, though.
Have you pre-ordered the new book yet? Its called Making Money, and it is due out on September 25th. I’m waiting anxiously.
I useded da W becuz I noes dere are chilluns who reed dis…YOO all knew whut I ment!
I has a purrfik size 8 body. I jus keeps it wrapped in fat so it don git skratched.
Dis not mai wayt…..u put scale on carphet! Wayin…Ur doin it wrong!
Maybee I shud go cough up anuther hareball!
Iz hairee booleemik kitteh? Wow…..
i’s not fat. I’s fluffy.
i iz not fat, i iz american.
looks like kitteh took off clothes before weighing………
Is kitteh pron? OHNOES, waht abouts teh LOLkittnz?
Bulemia kitteh plans location of next barf log.
*inspects shoes before putting foot in*
This alwayz teh gud praktis. Kittihz heer has free fingz dey do wif shooz….
Kismet puts her hair-tyez an’ twizt-tyes in shooz.
Bastien barfz in shooz.
Serenity kaptorz big bugglies and leevs dem in yor shoo az prezent. Half-a-ded-spydar. Yum. Fank yu, Squeezl.
dis mornin, befor goin 2 visit mai Momma (U noe, runnin aroun hous, distracted, do we hab eberyting?) I thot I had sum hayr fallen on my cheek, so I reaches up to push it behin mai ear. IT WERE SPYDAR! Not Dead! In mai hand! AUUUGHGHHGGHHHH! It wuz on mai fayce. MAI FAYCE! Not a haf-spyder, a whol spyder…. did I alreddy say AUUUGHGHHGGHHHH!? I cant wait til I gets a new kitteh to put teh spyders in mai shoos. At least I noe to took for dem der.
Du u get teh impresshun I cant stand spyders? I has a speshul dance and song I do when I sees or tuches dem. Must be a comedy number, hubby alwayz laffs.
Camz downz. Teh spydahs is like teh kittehs, onlee smallah, and wit mor legzez.
i hates teh spydurs too, DM. ennyfing wif moar den 6 legs is nawt mah lolfrend.
i has spydur on mah desk. she not bothr me. im not skeerd.
spydur on UR desk not skeer me, eithur.
Dat’s mah math 2. Moar dan 6 legs, no lolfriend o myne.
siks leggs good, ate leggs bad?
Ayt legz iz fine wid me, I DUNT want 6 laygs cuz it mite be a KRIKIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeekkk!!!
I mite nawt liek spidrz veree close, but as long as dey keep in der own spayce, doin der own ting, I will let dem liv or try to taek dem outsied wif the bugsucker or cup-an-card catchin device
Ants I jus talk to, ask dem to tell der queen dat if dey continyoo to come to mai howse dey can be kilded, tank you. Within 3 dayz, all ants gone wivowt havin to spray an wipe an smoosh an drown an sweep…. Eben in dis hawt wever, no antses have com inside in ober a yeer!
Wish da krikits had a queen……
Spiders am OK, when sittink in corner from ceilink, eatink mosiqutioes and flies and midges and g’nats and….
Is proper behavior job activity from spiders.
ai luvs da wulfspiders- dere liek kittehs- all fuzzy and floofy and tappy wif dere claws. and dey only eats bugs. but dose ebil hobo spiders ated mai Sirius spider!
mai frenz kitteh leevs da bugglies prezenz on hrs pillow !!!!! LOL !!
Troo luv 4 sur
MMMMmmm, jus a lil midnite snackipoo! I seen yoo eat a spydur las nite while U wuz seepin, so I bringed yoo anudder!!!
Wun tyme ah hads teh floo een ower kitteh ploppd a big lizrd on mah chezt. Den he pattid it a fyew tymes. Lyke he wuz sayin “Looka hao plump” Mah wyfe sed Awwww! den her hed sploded.
Sabretoof – I hz visson of yur story and iz maks me giggz. tks 4 dis.
Aww mah hed wud have 2! ^^ Kitteh taykin gud cayre of joo! *SPLOOSH* x.X
Kitteh was sayin, “If ur sik, dis b jus teh fing 4 u! Lizrd is full of vital-mins an nootrishuns! U will git well naow, Dr. Kitteh sez so.”
wen we iz ill one o ma kittehs alwaiz noes an cumz tu give uz hooj snorgles an if eny of us criez she cumz an likz us til we stops. Kitteh no likes sad hoomins, makes us beta ebry tyme.
Had kitteh, left dead mousie in mah boot once. Was savin for laeter, fun toy foar her. Ack!
Wun o mah kittehs left me HAF a ded mowsie wonce…teh BAK haff. PLEH! Tanks, Taffy. Much appreshiated!
Our Monty brot us a ded mowis once. We sed, “OO, mitey hunter, gud boy, fankoo!(pleh)” an frew it away. Luk on Monty’s face wuz indis. . .undesc. . .too funnee fur words. Nex day him brot us haf a ded mowis–teh bak haf, too. Musta thot he better take out his share furst.
i has mowsie in kitchen. has NINE kittehs here. y dey not maek mowsie gone? no, dey bringz in flutterbys n snaeks n chipmunks to play, but mowsie safe in cabnet.
orkin man livz here too, but he do nothing. he bisy outsied takin pikchurs o bumblz n moths.
Dis kitteh in mah house be doin that. Eat fuds too fast, and then he go for walks. Walk ends up in bafroom. So does fud.
I HERD U WEIGH 270 POUNDS? ^____^
beee-U-ti-ful floofy kitteh
looks juz rite
awl doze floofs n curves
wai more beeutiful den calvin clein kitteh
Where’s my zipper? Everybody weighs less nekkid.
(takes off shoos, clothes, watch, glassez…getz on skale.)
And don’t forget to brush your teeth, trim your nails (fingers and toes), tweeze your eyebrows, and comb your hair out good first. All that detritus can add up to at least 6 pounds! At least that’s what I tell myself every time I weigh… “Enh, I didn’t clip my fingernails, so take off 4 pounds. It’s good.”
hahahaha! I can has rationalization, plees? (Doan forgit to floss – that’s a good 6 oz. rite there)
An remoove nail polish
In wun uv mai Wayt Watcherz meetingz, an elderly gennulmin wud tayk owt his false teefs b4 way-in! We awaz laffed, but he maed his gol-wayt!
Also mak sure to remoov enny spydur passengers.
*Hangs up phone and sits back down at computer, no longer feeling like giggling*
I’m getting a little tired of being the mother of a son who lives in Blacksburg, VA! First, there was that truly scary day last April. Now there are 17 people injured from a carbon monoxide leak. Son is fine, but these calls where he starts off… “First thing Mom, I’m OK, but…” are nerve racking. And then I feel guilty because some other parent’s phone call didn’t start with “I’m OK.”
I apologize for interjecting the real world here, please go back to the joking, I’ll just sit here and read you for awhile.
D Marie-
I’m glad he’s ok, and I completely get what you’re saying. Enough is enough already.
Peace.
Lik Nellellen sed – Peece – Why we no hz that?
sorrie ta hear bout your trubbles…
takes a deep breff and click anudder phunnie pic
makes sum beeg laffs
an bees thankful for de good tings
no feel guilty
D Marie, pls to nawt be feelin gilty. Iz gud to no dat yr sun is okai, and u can’t do nuffin abowt anywun else. U iz nawt in kontrol. My son travileded arownd dah countree in a van wif a “fren” for awhile. dah fren wuz a reel liabilitee. Dey followed Phish and saw deh Allman Bros., etc., but ended up almoast starvin to def, and I no dat I did nawt heer awl uv deh bad stuff. It wuz skeery time.
Yr son amz safe, and dat is most importat feeng rite naow. We will be glad wif u, K?
hangs in der.
Glad everything’s okay, D. Marie. At least your son thinks to call you and you don’t have to worry! I never understood why my mom was always so freaky about that; sheesh, no news is good news, right? Now I have a son and I understand it a lot more.
Feel better soon. I’m glad you felt able to share your frustration and worries with us. That must mean that *we* are doing something right. (((hugs))) to you.
real world kitteh on scale sez: “Iz big enuf to snorgle for two – one for mommeh, one for okboy. *snorglpurrrsnorg* Iz gud? I can had cheezburger? kthx!”
hugs from not kittehs too
{{Marie}}
Oh wow! I read about this yesterday. That is some seriously scary stuff. I’m glad your son is okay. Do not feel guilty about feeling relief that he is okay. It happened to somebody’s children, but there is no good to come of second guessing things. ((((Hugs)))) to you and all the parents of the VA Tech students.
Dis gud plase 2 git snorgles & hugz & schmoos wen ur feeling teh downs. Glad son’s OK. Tis berry nerb rakng, awl dis bai-o-lens n odder miss hapses. 2 muches bad in teh news. not enuffs giggles. Tayks deeps bref n keeps on reedng til u LOL! Red sumwear dat eben forsed, fayk laffs gets endru… endorf… guds kemikals mmoobin in teh brayn!
Snorgles & hugz & schmoos frum me, cawlmng ppppuuuurrrsss frum Manfred & Ayla, Pwincessess ub Syam n AWL teh unibers!
((((D Marie)))) O eez bary hard 2 be mum somtymez, Ah heer joo n hugz joo n u won who eez okies. Dunnea feelz dah guiltee, eez not aneewanz faultz – speshly mah D Marie. We all bary happee joo kiddo okeh! *sends gud vibez to D Marie & son* <3
Phew! Glad ur boy is ok.
U r not guilty, D Marie. U r lucky. Best to find someone not so lucky and help if u can.
Peace and more peace.
We r vury happee to heer yur sun iz okay….!!! Prayers go to the other families not as fortunate….
Alwez preshiates ur humor comments, but dis tiem sends u teh hugs and cares 4 ur son and u.
Thank you, everyone. I’ve got a grip on myself again. Apparently, you do know how it is. Thanks very much for forgiving me for sounding off, and for your good wishes.
Kitteh! LA wait loz is da anser!
Scru u gaiz! Kitteh iz juz ritaining wahter!
Oar iz plzinglie plump!
Bulemic kitteh sais…
“knead moar vomiting!”
Rebember, Kitteh,
iz onlee jes a numbah. It nawt mean nuffin at awl. Dat wat I keep tellin mahself, anywai. sumtimes it werks, sumtimes nawt so much.
Okey soo if’n i takes li’l yelloo pilz, an i runs eleventeen myles a minit ebry dey fer 20304 dayz, an i onlee eets vejables, den wat?…
Den yool die liek Jim Fixx!
Or, if yoor metabobolizm is liek mines, yoo gain 10 pounz!
I can looze it if I eet less dan 600 caloreez a day, but I cant do dat for menny dayz….. sigh….
Preech awn.
yeah, speak on it…
I can hab toast and tea one time a day and still gain three pounz…iz soooo discouraging!
Ah fink all mah lolfreenz eez bootifulz *snorgles all around* ^^
heer heer. iz not wait that counts, iz what yu do wif it. be happys ebreyones.
As lawng as everbuddy heer has big, lushus sense of hoomor- is AWL GUD, baybehs!
Kitten sits awn warm
flat fing. Watchez t3h dyle spin.
Nawt wayz awll taht much
Wayt duzzn’t mattur
Kitteh canz arraynje herself
in much slim poazez
Prittee Wun eeteeng
noyzee, leefee stuff. Wen kood
has plump Cheezburgr
Dyetteeng much weerd
Fude keepz U warm. Muss B Y
Hewminz wayrz much kloathz
Jack.
Luff de pomes!
i can haz Jenny Craig?
Skayles r fur fisheez. DO NOT WANT! Kitteh needs to get self-ashuranse frum somfing uther than metal object.
“skayles r fur fisheez” olololol!!!! ai luvs u!
Awwww, tank ya!
“ai aint hevv-yyyyy,
ai’m yoor kiiiitteeeeeeh”
liar! my mom had that poster on her wall once
kitteh wuz suprized wun da scayls sed “tuh be cuntinood”
Hmm, skayl sez…….One..at..uh..tyme..plz. WUT?!!! Wee see wut u sez wen ah pownse ur baddereez owt !! Ah heerz u laffin een dere!
wate wachers not wurk…
Kitteh givz scalez wun mor chans to tell duh troof.
Kitteh joo is moar bootiful wif yer seksie curves, mausch mo bettah dan nikkole richie – PLEH!
I agrees–real womenz has teh curves, and real menz (and teh womynz–not to exclude ennywun heer) lurves dem foar it…
Ize agreez; curvz moah sexier tahn dah skinni beehatchz.
Whut about us reel menz. Can we has teh curves? Or do we still haz to look like Johnny Pitt-Cloony?
I liek mah menz bear-like!
Yay BG u has all mai burgerz cuz u haz teh good tayste. LA Bear Quake. u’d lurvs it.
I wuz in a tapas bar in SF wunce an dey were habbin a big meeting uv gay bearz an ebben tho I had no chancez wid dem gennelmenz (bein a girl-type an awl), I still got 2 luuk at dem. Woo woo, big buncha hunkz!
Hey, BG, if u findz yrself in dat sichuation agin, wuld u ask if anyone der
named Richard Lawson, AKA Apple?
I no der is prolly no chanse of findin him sinse has been prolly 36 yrs sinse
last sawed him, but, still…..
iz old fren frum collidge dais. An he wuz a reel cute bear-man, no dowt abowt it. Also verwy sweet dude.
Thanks,
sk
Here, here!!! I don’t like havin to hunt around in teh bedroom for mai spouse!! Feed you man, sez me!
no. big barl chest menz r bettr.
yah, and dem uvver stoopie lil hoes!
Animalz can sense ebil…dis skale is full of ebil!
Kitteh is just weighing self to see how much wuz lost when teh harblz went away…
I try uzing metrik scayul nextime – numburs are smallur.
Yo kitteh so fat her blood type is ragu.
HEY! No makin fun of teh kettehs wate! Dat not be nice! Yu hurtz her feelinz….now, go bak an say sumfing nice to herz right nao!
2 many chzburgurs
“I is unliterate. What deez funnee squigles mean?”
Ooh, I’m gonna trai dat lien next week at Wayt Watchurs… “Sorry, I can’t reed skale, so it do not cownt. Kthxbai!”
Meh reel man ahn I can had cheezburgerz fur dinnur, wif Purrrringles and to make it komplete, I ate ice cweem rite outta the bucket. And it’s storming in Kokomo. Whut more cud a grl wunt? (i lurve storms)
D Marie our fren….no guilties fur u…..hugz n blessingz on u
An finully, I vote we kick da scayles to da kurbs!!!
Can i getta AHMEN!!!!???
“WAI”
[...] no wear yurs went… and after teh pizza… picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: graykitteh Incorrect credit or [...]
u mayb try catkins?
[...] mebbe iz tiem for diet? [...]
[...] mebbe iz tiem for diet? [...]