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« Previous KITTEHMUS PRYME SEZ | VELCRO KITTY SAYS Next »
photo by: Jenn K.
capped and submitted by: Thor!
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
DAMM WIMMINS — alwys wantin to cuddle after the act. Now where’s teh remote?
I be jell–ous!! Kittehs has bestest lyfe evveer!!
U B viewin’ my loins
charls don brag
CHRIST!!! IT’S A LOIN!!! GET IN THE CAR!!!
CHRIST!!! IT’S A LOIN!!! GET IN THE CAR!!!
I LOL’D COFFEE ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD AT THIS.
Win.
Awww, geez, kitteh… put sum pantz on!!!
Or as I sez to mah husbin, “Nice vyoo! Do u sell postcards uv dat?”
LOL! Kitteh jus needza pair uf boxr shorts 2 kompleet teh luk!!
Lurvz, twoooo lurvz.
Princess Bride ref FTW!
Ize chillin wit ma homey!!
My Harblz. Let me show them.
did anyone else look at this and think “kitty looks like an old man with his pants pulled all the way to his chin”?
mah suspenders!!! loosen them pls!!! (GHARRR !!!)
Yeh, and a big ol’ gut hangin’ over teh top, ROFL…
HAHA! My daddeh is 74 yrs. old and his pants are up to his chin!
Sometimes I tell my Mom, “Mom, you need to take a rung or two outta Daddy’s suspenders.”
She says, “they have to go over his tummy.”
“Yeah but it doesn’t start under his chin.”
“MELISSA! DON’T PICK ON YOUR FATHER!”
Dat’s so funneh! LOL!!!
ROFLMAO!!! My Dad’s 91. Can’t tell where his pants go up to ’cause his chins about down to his waist!!
Hahaha! Poor Dad … he hasn’t started to use his ear hairs for a comb over, has he?
Father’s Day comin up, wuld find me wif my mama standin in frunt of
Dad’s kloset to see wut to git himz foar a presint. I would be laffin
my u no wat off. He hadz plaid pantz and wite beltz and pastel shirts and wite shoos. Mama, I wuld sai, Hoaw can I possibly improove on
DAT?!
“SK, DON’T PICK ON YOUR FATHER!”
chortle and snort.
an he wuz kolorblind, too, I fink. Himz sekretary cawled my mama at her werk wun dai to ask if she had seen my papa befoar he left foar werk. Mama asks in dismay, “Wut is himz warin?!”
I miss hims.
I misses mai Daddy, 2. He were AF Col, so always dressed rite. Den he retired, and unless goin sumwhere, always wore green work pants and white tshirt. Grew himz hair long, grew a beard. When teh 3 ob us kids wer teenaygerz, we got him a tie fur Fadder’s Dai. It was neon purple, and it sed “I’m a f*****g Genius” He wore it wit his blak soot. We laffed awl nite. Our momma alwayz sed “DONT ENCOURAJ UR FADDER!” We didnt lissen.
Oh, teh tie didnt hab ***** thingies. It had letturz.
U go, Girl!
Wen my papa wuz goin to a meetin or church or sumfin, he wore 3 peece
suits wif watch chayn and efferything. Dat wuz wat mayde himz
“kashual” clothes so dam funnee!!
ROFL, mai momma sez dat too me an mai brudder: “DONT ENCOURAJ YUR FADDER!!!” We three is weerd; momma dun unnerstand us at all. We be laffin our azzes off an she be liek “Wait, whut?”
I tink I need dat “I’m a f*****g Genius” tie for mai daddeh. He iz geenyus. Srsly. Only problm iz dat he dun wear soots vry much anymoar. He be workin out of home offic, so him can wears whutevar he wantses. Sumtiems he goes to work in hims unnerwears or PJs.
MYRTLE !!! MYRTLE !!! WHER AR MAI TEEH ???
MATLAWK’S AWN! SHAADUP!
Kin ai jus say, at dis poynt, dat u gais awl KILL MEH?!? Mai husbin keep stikkin his hed in bak rum were ai is, sayin “Wut teh hell u laffin at so hard?”, an ai say “ICHC!” an he say, “O, dat.”
(He also sez, “I thot u did dat awl day at wurk!” an ai say. “Ummmm… mebbe…” an den he go get a beer an sigh.)
LOL! mah hubby alwais sez, “r u ichcing AGEN??” himz jus nawt unnerstand. himz a dawg persun ennywai.
COM sez to me, “Tell dem dat dey iz makin me an ICHC widower!” LOL!
lol, mai kidz say they ems ‘puter orphans. I read ICHC and ovver forumz, an tehir dad playz ervercrack an worl ov warcrack.
two chilluns and tree kittehz, all tryn to convink us deyz starbin. so muck whinnin, I cant’z heer maislef lolthink!
The Russians are Coming ref!
Whil UR up, 2 brz plz kthx
U cans be grillin?
Iz cawled teemwurk.
What would really be funny is havin a camera there in a few minutes when kitteh flops off the chair.
WHOOPS!
*shakin hed lookin up at peeps lookin at kitteh*
Yep. Meant dat.
Jus chekin to see ifn u payin atenshun.
Gravitee iz a harsh mistress.
The Tick FTW!!!!!!!!! Best Tick kwot ebur.
My cat falls off of things or runs into things all the time, and then he immediately starts licking his leg in a casual manner to show he meant to do that all along.
I read in some cat book that the grooming is a response to overstimulation. They freakout when they fall, so they clean themselves to calm down!
My harbles needs ventalashuns
I be slidin’ - an showin’ my all
Kawshun to enny wud-be tummeh-snorgle-alarm-clox: kitteh uses clawz to push teh snooz buttin.
oh hai lolfrenz… last tiem I duz dis, I promiss… but fur dose hoo r innyristed, teh eggsyting finul catpurr uv “TGCL…L…R!” is poasted. kthxbai!
Pls don’t say its teh last tyme u rite us a story! I enjoied it! An I eben gotz teh cameo!!!!!! *asks fer author’s autograf*
Me also! Yay 4 teh kameoz!
Ai lurved ur essay on langwidj evolooshuns. Sooper-dubble-plus WIN!
I can has bein touched?
Fankoo so much! I feels speshul.
Srsly. I am wipin my eyes.
Oh an awsum storee! u should e mail to cheez.
sillyannz, pls keep riting. Ur blog is full of win an awsum! Nao I wants a cat name Big Smoo!
hey so I has dese fostur kittenz, an wun is a beeg floofy grey mael (beeg eben tho himz onlee foar weeks owld), an himz is so luvvy-duvvy I naemded him Big Smoo! u cans adopt!
also, thx fur ur kind wurds, i iz glad u liekded teh storee 
Pls nawt to be stoppin deh storees, K? I enjoyed dis wun a LOT.
K? thnx, but nawt bai.
An I hope Big Smoo finully gits sum gud nomnomnom fuds at hoam, too.
Life duz nawt exist on kibbul aloan, u noes.
big hugs to awl u guiz n menny menny fanks. i deffnly keep riting, jus feel a littul bad promotin it awn teh site. u can has lolroulette bah visitin mah blawg sumtiems, k?!
dat storee so kyoot i cans hardly stands it. u muss rite summore, sumtiem.
Layzee Day Kittehz
haz fowndz warm Sunlyte. Wyndeeng
daown 2 taykz a Nap
Beeg Belleb Kitteh
koodz muve arownd, but deesydez
2 sayve enerjee
Kitteh Simmatree
wyle purrfekktlee reelackzd iz
wunderful 2 watch
Jack.
I is dreamin of teh cheezburgers….
So many cheezburgers….
Zo many cheezburgers an’ so leetle tyme!!!!!!
Put some pants on, pleez!!
Oh, kittehs’ hoomin gibbems dey own chairz! Wit sof qwilt n evvrthink!
SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!
Mah kittehs own awl teh soofty chayrz in teh howse, n bofe teh beds. Awl comfee furnishur haz kitteh hairz pwotecshun coberz!
Kitteh # 1 :”Dude, i kannut feelz mah legz…
Dat some strong sh*tz…
I haf awful cravin fur Ben & Jer’s Cookiez N Cheezburgr Ice Creams.
But I cannut get ups.
I can has halp?”
Kitteh # 2: “Zzzzzzzzzzz.”
Kitteh # 1: “Dude, is u even awakes….?
No more of dis sh*t til Caturdai, I swears…
Wanna wach cartoonz?”
OMG! Memries of bein 15 yrs. old….
*sigh*
OMG, memries uv being 42 yrs. old… er… never mind, ossifer…
ROFL!! I wuz finkin alawng teh saem lynz…
Ai members does days … buts dey waz BEFORE Ben & Jerry eben towt boutz teh ise creem!! Ai tinks Aim dating mahselfs!
When ah wuz 15 yrs old we only had ax-ess tuh over-carbinated drinx.
Oh, and prolly beer.
ZOMG! … the Screamin’ Munchees! Iz edibl? Iz drinkibl? nomnomnom … whatzat in teh goggy’s dish …. Gravy Train! nomnomnom (J/K!! … lyk, totally… jeez!)
Kontesnts of Goerge Furrman Grillz drip trei look mighti tasti rite nowz
I red dat as “contestants” insted ob “contents.” Broke mai brane tryin to figger owt whut u ment. Owch, I can has bandaid?