Okeh, so…
…There wuz this squirrel, right…
capped and submitted by: Tony
« Previous Hallo Sir | BRING ME SOLO AND THE WOOKIEE. Next »
» 125 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
news from 
Contact Us
-
Who be Talkin'
Mezzomom on Why are you hollering? caramelchef81 on Why are you hollering? maxiwaxikins on Why are you hollering? Lungdoc on Why are you hollering? lunarmommy on Why are you hollering? Lungdoc on Why are you hollering? lunarmommy on Why are you hollering? lunarmommy on Why are you hollering? Fat Betty on I was gonna eat ‘im,… Fat Betty on I was gonna eat ‘im,… caramelchef81 on LOLZ, Cheezebugers and Na… momcat ub gascat on Why are you hollering? Lungdoc on Why are you hollering? lunarmommy on Why are you hollering? lunarmommy on Why are you hollering?
wut, dis? o, iz nuffin, jus a littul borken arm I gots wyl reskyooin 40 kittens frum a burnin bildin. deffnly nawt frum fallin off teh kowch an landin rong.
skooz meh, i ment, ORFAN kittens. u iz impressd, rite?
Tainee orfan kitnz wut duz nawt evun haz deyr aiyz opin yet. An bildin wuz sevuntee faiyv storeez tawl. An kitnz wuz on tawp floor. An bildin wuz alsew beyin atakt bai Gawdzila.
An – an – ther wuz an urfkwake an a hurykane an a volkano goin off, tu.
But enuf abowt me. Houw ar thingz wit yu?
you guiz has meh LMFAO!!!!!! TIME…
I meen, has u seen da moovy “Day bafor tumorro?” wayt… Day Aftur Yesturdae? Somefin lyk dat. U kno, whar da big bad guy iz da kold-ayre? And it havz da rejekted CG wolfyz dat dint mayk da kazting kall foar Van Helsing? Yah, see it was JUST LYK DAT. Onlie, no snow and I livd and juz dis borkd arm.
Gets well soon kitteh!
Dis luks like “tugize syndrome” to me.
“I wuz jus standin on teh corner mindin my own biznes when tu gizes comed up to me an jus startid beatin me up…”
P.S. Srsly, I hope this bebeh is k an gets bettur kwik. Menny snorgles & hugs, much nommie fud for comfurt.
Amen. Broken kitteh is broken and needs to recover (teh sofa!!!! lolz!!)
kitteh needz cheezburgers to feelz betur.
i givez u cheezburger kitteh!
*gives kitteh cheezburger full of NOM*
Well… ok. I was defending my territory. SO WHAT?! Ah mean every kitteh does -_every kitteh is texas ranger by himself_.
redneck cat is redneck.
Last wurdz uf rednek: “Hol’ mah beer an watch dis”
Gud ting redneck kitteh din win Darwin award!
redneck kitteh sez “hey, ya’ll watch dis”.
sorries, had teh tunnel vizion. i steppeded on you.
is okies. we can has graet mindz
u mai bee ai rednek if…
…U has nefer held ai powr tul whail sobr
Hmmm. dat mean I not redneck at work. dang.
I can has green plastehkast to go wiv mi green iy’s? And menneh cheezburgr cos they is liek meddysun for borked kitteh legs…
(domino sending snorgles to kitteh too)
Dis looks just liek my Domino! Mah Domino duzent hab the owchie leg, doh. He is spoiled old man (19 an berry helfy)
I has kitteh named Domino too.
Himz all wite kitteh wif black eerz and tail. Also much spoiled. Him sleepin on mai pillo wen I leev teh howse dis mornin. Hoo is smrtr, hmm?
yay! my b&w kitteh iz rilly called Domino, but we nickname her Minnie. She is alzo much spoiled, she knows wot queen rilly means!
I made you a cookie, but
… are you sure you want to hear this?
I didz not fink possibul foar Sad Cookie Cat to bees saddur. . .
oh, hai, wordpress, givs back mai abatar whut u NOMMED. I r logged in and everyfing. love, dg
I made you a cookie, but then I ate your avatar instead
*urp* …. had a flavr … was not grate, akshooly.
a-va-TAR flavr… soryy i knows its pathetic, but i jus got home frum long bad day at my
*^%$@&
work place and i’m all out of imagjinasion
a-va-TAR flavr… iz GUD imagjinasions!1!
zomgz Stend that made me just ROTFLMAO omg teh WIN.
I sekund dat “WIN”!
I furd it.
Den I eeted it.
Woo r ze culprit squirrel? My bête on dis one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandy_Cheeks
I bleev it wuz dis squirrel:
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w19/whognu/ArmySquirrel.jpg
I wuz saving Japan, and I ranned into Godzilla. U shudz see other gui. . .
Can I has reward fur savin da wurld? Cheezburgr plz. Hospitl food suks.
Green Jello? Do not want!
C mah poast ahbuv. Iz grayte maindz, no?
Tripel baklegz kittah has brokin wan.
No no no I kan axplayn. I kan. I swar. Mai frend, him gottid into kar axxidint. I wuz NAWT ovur at dat othur gurl kiti’s hows. Her boyfren’ kiti did NAWT beetz me up. No, wuz kar axxidint. Yah. An den, da kopz showd up but dey kikd me insted ov tayk me to amboolins… dat wy I nawt kom hoam, dey makd me WALK to hossipul. I swar, baybee iz troo. Den, um, den…. yah, well no, um I no anserd mah cell kuz, u kno, u nawt asposd to have it on in hossipul. an’ I left it in da kar. Yah, datz it. No it gotz NUFFING to do wif dat huzzy pershin whoz in heet. No. baybee u baleev me, ryt? I swar. I luvz yu and I wuntz lawtz of kittinz wif YU. Dat hussy pershin, yah, she no gud. I meen, she pritty, no no no I meen she NAWT EVIN pritty. Baybee no don’ go way !! I luffz yu!!!
Oooh. Elfi, sounz liek mebbe yoo heared dis story at leest wance befoar. Yoo got too many ‘baybees’ in dere to be mekin it all up.
LOL I saw the movie “Sideways”, I have seen at least one episode of Springer, and I live in Oklahoma. Oh, and I heard the unfortunate .. um.. song? “Real Talk” by R Kelly. It’s…. special…. And my friend, when he’s bein’ all sarcastic, he says “awww BAAAAAYyyyBEEEE!!!” so yeah, it really just wrote itself.
You wants scritched noz an tore ere to go wid dat leg? Huh? Yous tink I bornded yesturday? Ma mudder WORN me bout kittehs like you.
Tawk to da paw, BAY BEE. Aye’s outta here. Cuz da nekst taim dat u cheets, it won’t be wif meeee!
that song is f**cking much awsum.
i luves it, but mai husbnd hates it…
to me, that song is like….
O.O!
Wy yu write songz abowt da krap I heer abowt awl daye at my job in da kall centur?? Wy yu glammeriz dat? Wy yu nawt glammeryze da gud kuztimur serviz I provyd? Why yu insted sing abowt Taneesha sendin’ her frend to spy on Tyrone ‘cus his ass ain’t been home to pay her da chil’ supportz him owez her bakuz him out hangin’ wif some skank, she jus’ know it.
Oh, pore kitteh. *snorgles on it*
I gotz an owie.
(Get betters, kitteh! I drawr heart on ur cast!)
I can has precut cheezburger for easier consumption?
SAF-T tip. does not stick paw unner dore
pawz undur dorz is all da tiem funz. mebbe yu gets a futs mebbe u gets a sok mebbe eben a futs inna sok!
nawt my fawlt sumbuddy stompt on ma pawz
One time I was playing with one of my mother’s cats. I found a twelve-foot length of string, stretched it out in the hallway, and took one end of it with me into the bathroom (which has the biggest under-door gap of any door in the house) and closed the door, with the string running under the door. Before too long I felt the string twitch… then I started slooooowly reeling the string in. I wish so much that I could have seen the kitteh at the other end, or better yet, had a video camera. There was much tugging and bumping and sound-of-pouncing. Finally, I had all of the string on my side of the door, and both of the kitteh paws were under the door almost up to the shoulders, frantically scrabbling around to find the string. I couldn’t help myself; I knelt down very quietly and grabbed a paw… I’ll never forget that sound.
oooh i thinks im in luv. if i wsnt married, yud be in trubl cause thts jus too devious to let get away…
I hafta noe…..
Wut kind of sound?????
Juz a sqeally surpriz sound???
Or did kitteh get hurt ????
It was squealy surprise, followed by scratches left in floor as kitteh pulled out from under door and vanished into the distance at Mach 2. (Was only lightly grabbing kitteh… would not hurt kitteh. My mother would not let me live to post this if I hurt kitteh.)
Thanks for the update
LOL grate storee
Wundr eff wud werk inz ma hous??
(Goez off 2 ete brkfast, luk @ dor.)
Poor bebbeh! You can has speedy rekuvvery, k?
Dis one time, at band camp……
Sos I wuz chasin teh skwerrul, an, an it got inside!!! an I wuz chasin and chasin it an, an it ran back thru teh door, jus as it wuz closin, an…did yu notis dat teh flor is TYUL?? I skidz rite in too teh door!!! Dats rilly how it hapenenen. Tru story.
tru story. i sawed da whole thing!
Hao kom nun of teh uther kittehs sine mai kast wif wurds uv enkorajmint an little hartses?
Wai I iz nao expektin sumwun tu repoasr pikshur wif signatchurz and wel wishez and hartsez Fotoshopt ontu kast?
No opposabul thumbs. Can’t be holdin teh pen.
tnk u sillyannz, i was jus about to go there…
Cuz kittehs autograff stuff by peeing on it. You want?
See Ai waz makin cheezburger in Jorge Fourman grill. Lid fell on mai paw. Bernded teh pawpads n borked a bown! Itz hurtzes lotz! AI tinks Ai needz tynee krutch! Den needz wotz uv kumfurt fudz; Momee maykzez meh menee menee cheezburgers n gibs meh watz uv snorgles n schmoo!
MM, Manfred & Ayla snorgle dis kitteh & hope it gets well soon!
And Dwight-kitteh will put butter on ur foot.
Ew, no butterses! Butterses no gud 4 burnzed pawpads. Butterses gud foar toast. Mmm… toast.
Ais bestest fur birns. Ai noes az Ai hadz a graysfull muv teh udder day n birn mai arm on broylr elementz! Putz ais on itz ime … immet … rites a wayz nows heelng naizlee! Noes payn!!
Buttrz is foah stoppin kittehz runnin awayz.
Offiss refrens, FTW!
omg, “tynee krutch” roflmao!!!!!
kinda get the feeling kitteh is just back from cat ortho clinic, ready to strike again…
Does this story end with, “And then I found $5?”
God bless uz everyones.
LOL. Tiny Tim Kitteh.
God bless uz efurryones.
Hard Bloo Fing annoyz
Kitteh. Iz reemyndurr uv
yoothfull arrogance
Kitteh klymd 2 hye
up Bakk Yard Tree. Pikked rawng branch
in purrsoot uv Burdz
Kitteh landid awn hims feetz
Kind uv. Burdz floo away. Muss
re-theenk stratejee
Jack.
“Kitteh landid awn hims feetz Kind uv.” FTW!! Pur kitteh wazn az greysfull az ushual!
Mu boo-boooz. U can haz kissit?
*mwah*
Kitteh story retold under parent’s awl powerful stare o’ troof: See, der wuz dis ordinary floor, without no craks or obstrukshon tingges. An, I wuz just walkin, an, I don noe how I did it, but suddenly I tripped over mai ovver 3 feetses, slid acrosteh flor, hit teh edge of the vent cover thingee, flipped it up, and fell int teh vent.
Do u tink u cood gitz arwond to kitteh proofin dis place?
Whut yu meen I no can has Tort Law iffin’ I iz tuxeedoh kiti?!?! I no can baleev dat Tort Law iz foar Tortiez only, I meen WTF?!?! BUT I IS HASING PAYN AN’ SUFFRIJ!! I DAMAN JUZTIS!
can be chocolayt tort law? liek law sez “you givez me all te chocolayt tort I want”?
oh YES PLEASE.
Kitteh slipz an fallz.
Must ware kast on brokun paw.
Makez him slip sum moar.
OOO!!! Moar haikoo! Lubs it!!
I bet this story started with “Hey, y’all watch this!”
Awww jes lookit deh look on hiz liddel fase! Sumbodee needz a kuddelz… jes bee karful not to tuch the ouchee! Git bedder soon kitteh!!
~A~
Poor bebbeh! Yu big hero….no matter what yur storee!!
wa gew meen nyn weeks to heel?
Kitteh. Whut haz Mama tol u bout fibbn? No cheezburgr, juz lotz uf snorgles and kissez! Getz bettr soon! I hart u!
Kitteh looks like he just heard how much co-pay his HMO expects him to pay.
Glad himz haz HMO! He pais less den meee!
Another victim of senseless wrist violence! Did he fall while dancing to Beyonce, like Stephen Colbert?
Do u see dat sine on teh ukwerium dat sez “Puhranuz”.
i didnt………
So daer wuz theez ninjuhs, ryte? Yer– yer not lisnin’. I says, dere wuz fyve of dem, an a dragun, an thrie aliyens, an i had tu fyted dem all beecuz dey wuz gonna tak yer noozpapr frum off da lawne. I dident wanna waik u up.
Mai kitteh Hyla had 2 wer a cast liek dat. First 2 dayz she B vry unhapy! Den she laern 2 walk on cast. Kitteh walkin maeks “thump, thump, thump” sound liek Captin Ahab. Mom alway kno wher kitteh Hyla waz by “thump” sound.
Gav her many snorgles. she soon heal & run ’round agin. Meh hopez dis kitteh get well 2!
My kittehs sendz snorgles to kitteh!!!
Wat you meens ko-payz???? It waz e-meer-yancee, yezz it waz, noe kiddingz!!!
Not to be a downer, but I want this cat’s mama or papa and anyone else who has a cat with a cast on to BE SURE THAT THE DOCTOR DOES NOT PUT THE CAST ON TOO TIGHT! My dog had a tumor in his leg that had to be removed and they put a cast on during the recovery period. Apparently they put it on too tight, and it cut off his circulation to his leg and it had to be amputated! It was a terrible experience for everyone involved, so PLEASE, make sure your pet’s cast is not too tight and is changed regularly so you can be sure their limb is getting proper circulation.
So now we’re supposed to be vets?
Well mebee nawt. But if u see teh kitteh tryin 2 unravul a cote hangr. iz a gud bet hez gonna has it down hiz cass skrichin sumfin he aint supoze 2.
We don’t need to be vets, but it is good to be aware that loss of circulation is a possibility so you can be on the lookout for it. My dog kept trying to chew at his cast and naturally we thought he was just doing what any dog would do to a cast. The vet put a lampshade on him so he couldn’t chew on it. Of course, it turned out that he was loosing circulation and ultimately his leg. We feel absolutely terrible to this day about the whole thing.
If we had known that this was a possibility we would have done things differently – namely, checked to see if he reacted to us touching his paw (which was not wrapped in the cast), checked the temperature of his paw compared to his other paw, gotten the cast changed frequently, etc.
mai frenz goggie borked leg and dey changed cast every week… wun week dey put awn too tite… duz happen. Dis goggie’s case nawt sew bad cuz cast wuz changed agin soon, but wuz moar pain and bad for goggie.
Thank yo Naia’s Mama….I work very closely with my vet (specially durin hurricane times when all of her staff runs away)…she has seen this happen more than once to animals brought to her to “fix” what has happened elsewhere. Good advice!
Town ware I wentz to collidge did nawt haz bestest hossipul in
deh werld. It were first hossipul ever to be sued, went to deh beeg Supremist Court, and lost dah lawsuit.
See, der wuz dis stoodint who gotted hurt playin dat football. He brokeded hims leg. Dey putz on cast. Him kept sayin Duz nawt feel right, it hurtz. Dey kept saying of corse it hurts, Stoopie, u broked it. Duh.
Dey finally tookz off deh kast and himz had den gangreens and dey had to amputayted hiz leg.
Tru storee. U culd luk it up.
OK, here’s your lesson………….
What do they call the med student that graduates LAST in the class?????
“Doctor.”
Poor kitteh–remindz me uf tyme when my grandmah’s dawg wuz on beeg tall bed wif grandmah listening to me on raydio. (dat’s what ah doo) and deh dawg jumpded offa da bed and borked her leg. Wuz manee yearz ago, and she iz okays nau, but every nau and den walks a leetle funny. For attention, methinks.
Do your pets try and get you out of the radio? Friend of mine had to put his answering machine in a cupboard because his cats were all the time standing on it and pushing the buttons when they heard voices on it.
Inquiring minds and all that….
zomgz!! When Kitiz’ daddeh is nawt hoam (which is most of da tym, him werkz 2 howwarz awaye all week, komhoam wiekendz)…. Sumtymz when we talk on da fone, I put fone on speeker, put on da flore. Him say, “Kitties!! Is DADDY!!” And Kismet is lyk WTF DADDEH?!? IZ IN DA FONE?!?! ONOES!! an she playz fone-hokky down da hallway. So her “talking” to him is a series of clunks and scrapes.
Kismet is also very interested in how that guy comes out of the weather radio JUST when the weather starts getting bad.
–E
I haz frend who has kitteh name Mollee that ansers teh fone – wen she heers the ansering masheen she pushes teh fone off teh cradle to lisen to the voyses on teh othur end. We-unz hoo noe abowt this talk to Mollee cuz we think its so kyoot!!!
Unforchinitly shez not so gud at takin messijes akshully.
LOLs…. i hadda reed ur post free tymez afore i reellyized dat it wuz da DOGs leg whut borked… not ur gramma’s. me? tired? noooooooo. i jus shutz mai eyez nao. k. thx bai.
aaaaaah. pauvre monsieur pussycat
Ikeeah Snorgleskitteh comez with all butz, but with a borked front leg.
Does u feelz guilty enuff to gib me cheezburger now pls? Kthx.
[...] or at least plots ur borken leg… [...]
Oh… This reminds me of the time when a cat of mine had a nasty accident where he lost a toe. ;_;
Get well soon, kitty.
i haz a boo-boo
[...] b careful. member wut happend last tiem u tryd 2 git da squrril? [...]
dis kitty mus be da wun in da middul of pikchure!
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/05/27/funny-pictures-want-want-want-want-want/
[...] bware of dose squirrelz. [...]