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…There wuz this squirrel, right…
capped and submitted by: Tony
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
wut, dis? o, iz nuffin, jus a littul borken arm I gots wyl reskyooin 40 kittens frum a burnin bildin. deffnly nawt frum fallin off teh kowch an landin rong.
skooz meh, i ment, ORFAN kittens. u iz impressd, rite?
Tainee orfan kitnz wut duz nawt evun haz deyr aiyz opin yet. An bildin wuz sevuntee faiyv storeez tawl. An kitnz wuz on tawp floor. An bildin wuz alsew beyin atakt bai Gawdzila.
An - an - ther wuz an urfkwake an a hurykane an a volkano goin off, tu.
But enuf abowt me. Houw ar thingz wit yu?
you guiz has meh LMFAO!!!!!! TIME…
I meen, has u seen da moovy “Day bafor tumorro?” wayt… Day Aftur Yesturdae? Somefin lyk dat. U kno, whar da big bad guy iz da kold-ayre? And it havz da rejekted CG wolfyz dat dint mayk da kazting kall foar Van Helsing? Yah, see it was JUST LYK DAT. Onlie, no snow and I livd and juz dis borkd arm.
Gets well soon kitteh!
Dis luks like “tugize syndrome” to me.
“I wuz jus standin on teh corner mindin my own biznes when tu gizes comed up to me an jus startid beatin me up…”
P.S. Srsly, I hope this bebeh is k an gets bettur kwik. Menny snorgles & hugs, much nommie fud for comfurt.
Amen. Broken kitteh is broken and needs to recover (teh sofa!!!! lolz!!)
kitteh needz cheezburgers to feelz betur.
i givez u cheezburger kitteh!
*gives kitteh cheezburger full of NOM*
Well… ok. I was defending my territory. SO WHAT?! Ah mean every kitteh does -_every kitteh is texas ranger by himself_.
redneck cat is redneck.
Last wurdz uf rednek: “Hol’ mah beer an watch dis”
Gud ting redneck kitteh din win Darwin award!
redneck kitteh sez “hey, ya’ll watch dis”.
sorries, had teh tunnel vizion. i steppeded on you.
is okies. we can has graet mindz
u mai bee ai rednek if…
…U has nefer held ai powr tul whail sobr
Hmmm. dat mean I not redneck at work. dang.
I can has green plastehkast to go wiv mi green iy’s? And menneh cheezburgr cos they is liek meddysun for borked kitteh legs…
(domino sending snorgles to kitteh too)
Dis looks just liek my Domino! Mah Domino duzent hab the owchie leg, doh. He is spoiled old man (19 an berry helfy)
I has kitteh named Domino too.
Himz all wite kitteh wif black eerz and tail. Also much spoiled. Him sleepin on mai pillo wen I leev teh howse dis mornin. Hoo is smrtr, hmm?
yay! my b&w kitteh iz rilly called Domino, but we nickname her Minnie. She is alzo much spoiled, she knows wot queen rilly means!
I made you a cookie, but
… are you sure you want to hear this?
I didz not fink possibul foar Sad Cookie Cat to bees saddur. . .
oh, hai, wordpress, givs back mai abatar whut u NOMMED. I r logged in and everyfing. love, dg
I made you a cookie, but then I ate your avatar instead
*urp* …. had a flavr … was not grate, akshooly.
a-va-TAR flavr… soryy i knows its pathetic, but i jus got home frum long bad day at my
*^%$@&
work place and i’m all out of imagjinasion
a-va-TAR flavr… iz GUD imagjinasions!1!
zomgz Stend that made me just ROTFLMAO omg teh WIN.
I sekund dat “WIN”!
I furd it.
Den I eeted it.
Woo r ze culprit squirrel? My bête on dis one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandy_Cheeks
I bleev it wuz dis squirrel:
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w19/whognu/ArmySquirrel.jpg
I wuz saving Japan, and I ranned into Godzilla. U shudz see other gui. . .
Can I has reward fur savin da wurld? Cheezburgr plz. Hospitl food suks.
Green Jello? Do not want!
C mah poast ahbuv. Iz grayte maindz, no?
Tripel baklegz kittah has brokin wan.
No no no I kan axplayn. I kan. I swar. Mai frend, him gottid into kar axxidint. I wuz NAWT ovur at dat othur gurl kiti’s hows. Her boyfren’ kiti did NAWT beetz me up. No, wuz kar axxidint. Yah. An den, da kopz showd up but dey kikd me insted ov tayk me to amboolins… dat wy I nawt kom hoam, dey makd me WALK to hossipul. I swar, baybee iz troo. Den, um, den…. yah, well no, um I no anserd mah cell kuz, u kno, u nawt asposd to have it on in hossipul. an’ I left it in da kar. Yah, datz it. No it gotz NUFFING to do wif dat huzzy pershin whoz in heet. No. baybee u baleev me, ryt? I swar. I luvz yu and I wuntz lawtz of kittinz wif YU. Dat hussy pershin, yah, she no gud. I meen, she pritty, no no no I meen she NAWT EVIN pritty. Baybee no don’ go way !! I luffz yu!!!
Oooh. Elfi, sounz liek mebbe yoo heared dis story at leest wance befoar. Yoo got too many ‘baybees’ in dere to be mekin it all up.
LOL I saw the movie “Sideways”, I have seen at least one episode of Springer, and I live in Oklahoma. Oh, and I heard the unfortunate .. um.. song? “Real Talk” by R Kelly. It’s…. special…. And my friend, when he’s bein’ all sarcastic, he says “awww BAAAAAYyyyBEEEE!!!” so yeah, it really just wrote itself.
You wants scritched noz an tore ere to go wid dat leg? Huh? Yous tink I bornded yesturday? Ma mudder WORN me bout kittehs like you.
Tawk to da paw, BAY BEE. Aye’s outta here. Cuz da nekst taim dat u cheets, it won’t be wif meeee!
that song is f**cking much awsum.
i luves it, but mai husbnd hates it…
to me, that song is like….
O.O!
Wy yu write songz abowt da krap I heer abowt awl daye at my job in da kall centur?? Wy yu glammeriz dat? Wy yu nawt glammeryze da gud kuztimur serviz I provyd? Why yu insted sing abowt Taneesha sendin’ her frend to spy on Tyrone ‘cus his ass ain’t been home to pay her da chil’ supportz him owez her bakuz him out hangin’ wif some skank, she jus’ know it.
Oh, pore kitteh. *snorgles on it*
I gotz an owie.
(Get betters, kitteh! I drawr heart on ur cast!)
I can has precut cheezburger for easier consumption?
SAF-T tip. does not stick paw unner dore
pawz undur dorz is all da tiem funz. mebbe yu gets a futs mebbe u gets a sok mebbe eben a futs inna sok!
nawt my fawlt sumbuddy stompt on ma pawz
One time I was playing with one of my mother’s cats. I found a twelve-foot length of string, stretched it out in the hallway, and took one end of it with me into the bathroom (which has the biggest under-door gap of any door in the house) and closed the door, with the string running under the door. Before too long I felt the string twitch… then I started slooooowly reeling the string in. I wish so much that I could have seen the kitteh at the other end, or better yet, had a video camera. There was much tugging and bumping and sound-of-pouncing. Finally, I had all of the string on my side of the door, and both of the kitteh paws were under the door almost up to the shoulders, frantically scrabbling around to find the string. I couldn’t help myself; I knelt down very quietly and grabbed a paw… I’ll never forget that sound.
oooh i thinks im in luv. if i wsnt married, yud be in trubl cause thts jus too devious to let get away…
I hafta noe…..
Wut kind of sound?????
Juz a sqeally surpriz sound???
Or did kitteh get hurt ????
It was squealy surprise, followed by scratches left in floor as kitteh pulled out from under door and vanished into the distance at Mach 2. (Was only lightly grabbing kitteh… would not hurt kitteh. My mother would not let me live to post this if I hurt kitteh.)
Thanks for the update
LOL grate storee
Wundr eff wud werk inz ma hous??
(Goez off 2 ete brkfast, luk @ dor.)
Poor bebbeh! You can has speedy rekuvvery, k?
Dis one time, at band camp……
:D)gbs kitteh
Sos I wuz chasin teh skwerrul, an, an it got inside!!! an I wuz chasin and chasin it an, an it ran back thru teh door, jus as it wuz closin, an…did yu notis dat teh flor is TYUL?? I skidz rite in too teh door!!! Dats rilly how it hapenenen. Tru story.